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Post by Slade "The Main Man" Craven on Nov 26, 2012 16:06:13 GMT -4
Sorry for not linking my roleplays here but there are too many to review.
I understand this is supposed to be fun. However, I honestly feel like a living joke right now and I am not ashamed to say it. So people, if you have the time and are willing I am here asking for help. Im at my wits end to the point where I am about to hang up my spurs and just wrestle for real.
What am I doing wrong?
I understand this may have come off as brash and i apologize but seriously, wits end folks, and in apparent dire need of help.
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Post by yarmouth1 on Nov 26, 2012 16:27:02 GMT -4
Try looking on you tube for promo
s that that may give you some idea's fella it worked for me when i was stook.
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Post by John "Sheriff" McBride on Nov 26, 2012 16:30:27 GMT -4
Pardon my ignorance for asking, just want to clarify that I understand what you are wanting. Are you asking for advice/feedback on your role plays with the intention of improving?
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Post by Lord Raab on Nov 26, 2012 16:34:11 GMT -4
That's right dude yeah because I said something along the lines of this a while ago.
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chaos lite
Midcarder
you'll never know what hit you.
Posts: 360
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Post by chaos lite on Nov 26, 2012 16:56:14 GMT -4
Hmmm. I'll read your last few roleplays and try to have a response in this thread shortly. There's no reason to feel like a joke here though. You're not Knuckles!
...
just kidding Knux. <3 <3
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Post by Reaver on Nov 26, 2012 17:15:55 GMT -4
Hmmm. I'll read your last few roleplays and try to have a response in this thread shortly. There's no reason to feel like a joke here though. You're not Knuckles!... just kidding Knux. <3 <3 :/ |
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Post by Slade "The Main Man" Craven on Nov 26, 2012 17:26:57 GMT -4
Hmmm. I'll read your last few roleplays and try to have a response in this thread shortly. There's no reason to feel like a joke here though. Sorry AJP I feel different as Ive been back since Rasslemania and havent won a match yet. (My only "win" was against Hart and i respect the guy too much to take credit when he admited he had an off week when we faced off) Pardon my ignorance for asking, just want to clarify that I understand what you are wanting. Are you asking for advice/feedback on your role plays with the intention of improving? I am under the impression I need full overhaul. (I just took a month off to retool the character after Shockwave) |
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Post by Shadow on Nov 26, 2012 18:31:31 GMT -4
In all honesty. I was shocked by this weeks results.
I know alot of people assume Ethan and I are the same person, but I would like to take a moment to state that Ethan WAS running both characters when The AKA came back at Rasslemania, but when it split and went to separate shows, I (Stephan) came back and began running the Shadow character once again. (Please dont confuse me with Assassin (Steve))
I know this doesn't have anything to do with improving your character because, I don't know what to tell you. When I came back and started the Blue Eyes storyline, I thought it would go real well, it worked for me on Meltdown. I'm sorry it nearly killed you on Overdrive. When you pitched the insane asylum storyline as a way to retcon everything, I thought "Hey that could work."
Maybe its time for a full change up. I know you dont intend to drop the gimmick stuff, those are what defined your character and I think it would be crap for someone to tell you they are tired an antiquated. I may be wrong.
I wish we could keep similar styles because I know you had hopes of reforming the AKA one day and we always had similar styles for that. But I about to shift my style a bit because Im worried what worked for Meltdown will not work for me on Overdrive. Best of luck man I wish I could offer something helpful because I don't know what to tell you.
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Post by The Soul Of Philly on Nov 26, 2012 19:12:55 GMT -4
Wait, Shadow and Slade aren't the same person?!?! HOLY SHIT! Seriouslly, I thought you guys were the same guys.
Anyways, I'm going to go back and read the RPs since you came to Asylum. What I ask from you is to give me two RPs that you personally liked while on Overdrive. I know that's quite alot to ask since you've got a couple months worth of work but I'm asking because it's clear that you don't like the work you're doing right now and I want to see the difference in the work you liked and the work you didn't.
As far as advice/feedback/suggestions, you're looking for what you're doing wrong right? I think wrong is the wrong word. You really can't do anything wrong in this game unless stated by the rules. It's nothing you're doing wrong, it's just not working for you.
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Post by Slade "The Main Man" Craven on Nov 26, 2012 20:50:14 GMT -4
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Post by Slade "The Main Man" Craven on Nov 26, 2012 20:52:52 GMT -4
Try looking on you tube for promo s that that may give you some idea's fella it worked for me when i was stook. Yarmouth, thank you for the idea. I love watching old attitude era promos (Rock, Austin, Y2J etc) Only person i feel lately who is great with the mic is Santino (I hear Punk is good too I just dont like him) Thing is I already was doing things like that when I first came back and ran the AKA. Needless to say, it didnt go well. But it does always cheer me up to watch the Rock rip into someone. So thank you. |
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Post by Jason Cashe on Nov 26, 2012 21:25:16 GMT -4
Slade, I often times forget about the character being on Overdrive or Asylum to be honest. Nothing against the character, it's done well and seems to be based well with a clear way of saying things. I just think people in your boat, people who are good writers but maybe not getting the notice they could get need to stop just cruising if I can use the word for this.
Setup a feud, something with someone who makes sense to feud with. Not a overly Soap Opera feud of drama and that noise but a Rivalry that makes an impact. Noble and Hart will have that and while they do go into that Soap Opera stuff at times, they've turned it into much more than that now. They'll be looking for blood with each other. Rico Casteel (CJ Gates) and I did a rivalry before he fucked off that character and I think it REALLY helped people take notice of my character.
Some people might argue it's my activeness that gets me seen and noticed and while that might be the majority reason, I think I am consistent and maybe I am not the best at anything I get shit done quicker than most. Sending in Matches I write, Rps, I try to get them in quickly because then people have something to read while waiting for those last minute posters or match writers. Nothing against those guys either at all, I just can't be on the forums off and on all week or two weeks for Asylum and NOT want to get my shit wrote. I wouldn't feel right whoring the forums up when I have writing assignments or rps to finish. That's my positive. I'm consistent.
Now for you, I dunno. Maybe a fresh take is needed but maybe it's just one big moment, something not you do yourself but something you do with someone. A Blood Rivalry could be what you need. A big statement in showing that you can be on every show in segments, or be a force in writing which you are, I just think people need to see something big come from it right now. With so many big acts on every show, it's tough. Find a way and you'll be fine. APW is very mixed in style and I don't want that to change so don't convert to someone's concept of how you should write or what might be proper. If it makes sense to you to do something a certain way, run with it. Grab something and jump. See where you land. Hope this in some way helps, if not, I ramble and sometimes overthink shit and thinking might not be my strongest feature!
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Post by Jason Cashe on Nov 26, 2012 22:06:39 GMT -4
Just to put it out there...I don't see how you lost on Asylum. 2 to 1 rps so unless you were Adam Young or Tyler Graves and doing nothing or half assing something then you win with those odds.
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Post by The Soul Of Philly on Nov 27, 2012 0:20:34 GMT -4
Alright I read the promos, all five. and took a look at Keaton as well and I'll tell ya why I think you lost, it may not be the real reason, but you wrote 4000 words or so, keaton wrote 2000. You may have had maybe 2000, maybe a bit more that actually dealt with what was at hand where as Keaton has a good portion of his relevant to APW.
And that's what you're doing wrong. Kurt has told me multiple times, Character development is nice, but if you can't connect it to the match, it won't come off as well. You have two good parts in your RP, which, should equate to a great RP right? Well, it would but it doesn't connect. One you have Swordfish like interactions and then you're talking about APW. Then you pick up that story in the second one but it doesn't connect to what you said about your match or what you're going to say.
When you talk about your match it's great work. WHen I saw you transferred shows, I was vaguely familiar with your work, reading a couple RPs and it's good, i never read your work back to back to back like I did right now. I have and i see what's, in your words, is "wrong". It's fixable. Now, I'm still working on fitting CD into what's happening in APW. The best I did was at ONIH with TJ being stubborn and such but i didn't pull it off correctly. It's not going to be something you can fix over-night or in a RP period, or even in a PPV period.
I feel like talking in the third person is cheesy though. I feel like it's a copy of The Rock. Anytime I hear someone talk in the third person over and over, I hear The Rocks voice. Now, you may have done this forever and if you have then that's something that is apart of the character forever, but it still reads funny. Sometimes it works, as in when you said, "Wouldn't it be nice if Slade Craven rolled into Christmas Chaos to face off against Sally Talfourd" that is a case when it works. Other than that, it comes off cheesy, at least to me.
The character to me, I don't quite get. Is he goofy? Is he crazy? Is he serious? Is he super cocky? You're character just doesn't have anything that sticks. Every one has something. Kurt Noble is crazy, like bat shit crazy. Sally Talfourd is hot and asian. Kash is ultra-violent. Callahan is a slimy politician turned violent. Phil Atken is a weasel. Slade is uh....Slade. He odesn't have a tag which hurts. I hear "I came party" and I think, "Dude's a goof" I hear "I'm crazy" and I think "he's crazy." I hear slade talking in the third person I think he's a cocky prick. It hurts not having something you can lean on when you can't think of to write.
As AJP said, you shouldn't feel like a joke just because you haven't won in a while. Honestly, you're good enough that in any other place, you'd probably rake in titles, but because it's APW, it's tough.
In summary you have a similar problem to me where you don't connect what happening in the life outside the ring to whats happening inside the ring. Your writing is good and flows. You tell a good story, but it doesn't connect to the story in APW. And that's why you're losing because in APW it's quality over quantity, you had 4000 words with some filler where as Keaton had 2000 and most of it pertained to APW and we've covered that APW is mostly shoot and if you spend half or so of your RP talking about something outside of APW and you don't relate it to APW , then you're not going to win.
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Post by Jason Cashe on Nov 27, 2012 1:48:52 GMT -4
See, that's much better than what I said. I try not to point out the should be obvious. The personal story that lacks any match relevance kills sometimes. Happens. It's one of those things but take everything TJ said above and use it cause it's point.
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Post by Slade "The Main Man" Craven on Nov 27, 2012 7:56:14 GMT -4
TJ,
Ive went back and re read my last three Asylum RPs: How are they not connected to APW? The whole premise is APW is submitting him to psyche evals to determine if he is a dangerous to his opponents or even himself. There is no secondary storyline in the roleplays I wrote them as pretty staright forward.
As far as character development, there is none. There's nothing left in his shoots because he's all talk. Craven can't back up anything he says.
Ive been getting mixed feedback here. To all who can, more explainations would be appreciated.
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Post by yarmouth1 on Nov 27, 2012 8:24:02 GMT -4
I think what there saying is Slade is that you and I both need to do is don't do much of the character build up and concentrate more on your opposition.
I have been concentrating more on other things like Stefan Raab then on my actual opponent which is what cost my the victory against TJ.Try and do more trash talking towards your opponent be more about you and him or her depending on who your facing and not just about all you.
Like they said if you are going to character build try to tie it into your match a perfect example even though its not character building is TJ and his sister the teacher he went to school and trash talked me in the class with out taking away the story of where he was which was awesome writing.
And then he did a promo in forest again top class work made a story and involved me into as well, Have a read of these two role plays and you will see what I mean.
Hope this helps.
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Post by Lord Raab on Nov 27, 2012 9:22:41 GMT -4
Damn Yamouth that was really good feedback that you gave to Slade.
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Post by Jason Cashe on Nov 28, 2012 15:25:40 GMT -4
Yeah cause CD in Rps isn't over done any...
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