Post by Jules on Nov 28, 2012 20:15:14 GMT -4
The scene opens in the parking lot of the arena, host of last week’s Thanksgiving edition of Overdrive. John Dionysus walks alone through the darkened lot, lighted faintly by the yellowish hue of the artificial lights. As he heads, presumably, towards his car he is stopped by the sound of a voice calling out to him. Dionysus turns around and discovers his agent, Vern Wheeler, pacing towards him.
“What the Hell!” Vern barks at Dionysus. “What happened to you tonight?”
Dionysus has no verbal response, but turns his back and continues to walk. Wheeler makes the effort to catch up with Dionysus and get ahead of him.
“I’m sick of this,” Wheeler continues, then putting a hand on Dionysus’ chest to try and stop the man. Dionysus stops momentarily, then changes his course slightly, brushing past his agent. “So now you’re not even talking to me?”
Dionysus stops dead in his tracks and turns around to face his agent.
“What do you want me to say?”
“I’d like an explanation. Do you realise how you made me look in there?”
“I’m not responsible for the promises you can’t keep.”
“No, but what about your own promises?”
Dionysus turned away and continued his journey to his car.
“That’s what it’s come down to now, huh? You walking away.”
“Maybe I’ve got no other direction to take.”
“There’s always an alternative path. Nobody knows that better than you.”
Having stopped Dionysus turned back to face his agent.
“Maybe I don’t believe that map anymore. Listen, I’m sorry I let you down.”
“You didn’t just let me down. Sure, it took all my powers of persuasion to get Rebel to sign you into that battle royale, in principle, and it will be a long time before he’s willing to listen to my pleas on your behalf; but what about the others?”
“What others?”
“The people who came to see you.”
“I think the days the people paid to see me have long since passed. Maybe that’s the point; maybe I’m the last one to realise that.”
“So you’re gonna quit? You’re gonna just walk out like this?”
“I didn’t say I was walking, but I’m not sure there are many more defeats left in me; I’m not sure my mind can be crippled any further by the pain of failure.”
“What happened to the guy I knew; the guy I loved and had absolute faith in?”
“I’m not your messiah nailed to some cross.”
“Nobody said you had to be.”
“Then what’s with the guilt trip? Listen, I’m all out; I’ve got nothing left to give, and it’s better to burn out than to fade away, right?”
“I knew a guy who once thought it was better to fight, and fight until every drop was dried up.”
“Maybe that time has come; I’ve ceased to be the wrestler, but instead have become the desert born of months of drought.”
“And what if the rains are just around the corner?”
“Foresight would be a wonderful gift. But sentimentality and romanticism cannot save me now. How long can I maintain this charade? It’s been, what, six months now?”
“John, you just need a break; it will come. Maybe you just need some inspiration. Isn’t that what this Evan Envi thing is all about?”
“I thought I had something to offer; but if a guy like Envi already sees me as a shrivelled relic of the past, what hope do I have of guys like Johnny Rebel taking me seriously?”
“Make it so. Stop skirting the issue and call Envi out for the match you want.”
“I just want to help the kid be somebody; you know, something I could never be.”
“You think you can gain success vicariously through somebody else?”
“I think he has something real; I’d hate to see that squandered.”
“Then you know what to do.”
Dionysus looked confused.
“We both know,” Wheeler continued, “if you’re going to teach that kid anything; there is only one classroom you know how to work. It’s square, it’s got ropes, I think you get the idea.”
“That’s not what I want...”
Wheeler raised a smirk on his face.
“Call the kid out. You want to teach him an important lesson, show him what it means to be in a fight; then we’ll see whether the oil has run dry inside your gut.”
*
On the eve of the latest edition of Overdrive, and ahead of another match that could potentially re-ignite his career, John Dionysus took some time out to share his thoughts with the APW world.
“Let’s be quite frank; this existence we enjoy is a finite affair. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to sound profound with some trite observations, but it would not be amiss for me to point out that even the wrestling world is subject the Buddhist law of impermanence. As much as Terry Marvin basks in his own conceit and the delusion that he is engaged in some thousand-year Reich as the Undisputed Champion; as much as Level-One concocts some bullshit pantomime, with his cacophony of sycophants and hangers-ons, to make himself still feel relevant; and as much Kurt Noble struggles with his own essence, what is indubitable is that something in the universe is looking on and having a damn good joke at our expense.”
“I’ll concede I’ve been prone to this delusion myself of late. I’m neither ignorant nor proud enough to deny that things haven’t exactly been a bunch of roses for me in recent months. In fact, I wouldn’t exactly be going out on a limb to say that as far as credibility in APW goes, none has sunk lower than mine over the past five months. Nevertheless here I stand, still fighting, still with the same eye on the prize, the same thirst for victory as anyone else on the roster.”
“Just as much early ‘run’ of success was a delusion that led me to the complacency that has brought on this slump, so too would it be a mistake to believe that recent results need determine my wider future. I won’t kid myself into thinking I am any sort of contender, but I stand true by my principles that as long as there is an iota of fighting spirit inside my bones I will continue to march to that ring every week and give my opponents as much as Hell as it is in my capacity to produce.”
“Last week I let myself down by violating that very principle that has carried me through my career. I have never been a quitter, to such an extent that I don’t even have a towel in my corner that could be thrown in. However last week I turned my back on myself and on the very ideals that make me who I am, that make me worth even a grain of dirt in this world. I refused to compete, I turned down and opportunity, and therefore I cheapened myself as a wrestler; I lessened myself as a man.”
“Why I did that isn’t of any consequence today, as I look at it, because it’s done and nothing is possible to change that fact. All I can do is look to the future and try to move on, try to get myself back in the race, dust myself off and leap right back into the saddle, because if I’m as sure as I’m a mortal, I’m sure that there is no-one in this business who is going to offer you a helping hand when you fall.”
John Dionysus stopped here to take a pause in his monologue and collect his next set of thoughts.
“I’m not gonna talk to you here and try to over-analyse what has gone wrong with my career over the past few months. At the end of the day, in this business it is actions that speak louder than words, it’s deeds not hard talk that turns men into champions. All the strategy in the world and all the philosophizing about how hard done by you feel, or how you could do things different doesn’t change a thing about the past, and as for the future....well, to me, it’s plain as the two hands I hold up before my eyes that we can all talk well and true about what we need to do to make things into a better future, but the doing, well now that’s the truly hard part.”
“Maybe some people will look at me and say ‘John, you not learning, you’re not doing anything different’. They will advise me that I’m like a lumberjack trying for all eternity to cut down a tree by banging my head against its trunks. But even if I am like some wood-cutting Sisyphus, action is the only way I know. If I know anything about this business it is that setbacks are only overcome by dragging your sorry ass off the mat, keeping your chin up in front of that crowd, and saying to the next guy ‘you gonna try to put me down as well?’ If he succeeds, then move onto the next guy. Maybe loss of loss is a bit like being tied down until the torrent of a waterfall, in a ceaseless state of physical annihilation. But one thing I know is that sooner or later that waterfall is going to run dry and the sun will shine. That’s all about belief and resisting, and never giving up no matter how much water is poured on top of you. Belief and the readiness to take action, that’s what it’s all about. No more, no less.”
“So I’m not going to sit around and sulk about the fact that I lost last week, or the week before, or that I may lose this week. It’s all inconsequential and part of the flux, just like winning. Instead I’m going to remember what matters most in this business, and that’s the fight.”
Dionysus, feeling refreshed by his attempts at self-motivation, smiles before he moves onto the specifics of this week’s encounters.
“Funnily enough, my match this week brings me full circle. Why do I say that? Well the source of downfall can be traced to my opponent this week, or at least my first encounter with him.”
“When A.C. Smith joined APW all those months ago he made a big impact, surprising many by qualifying for the Test For The Best finals. I knew the guy had something then, and even though he hasn’t achieved the kind of success many expected then, this doesn’t shake my conviction that this is guy who, when he finally leaves APW, will look back on a career smothered with credentials and accolades.”
“Even though I could see the potential, I’ll concede I probably underestimated A.C. back then, and was caught off guard when he pulled off that big win without the help of Terry Marvin. I haven’t exactly been following his career in much detail since then, but I’ve observed the general ebb and flow.”
“There have been big match encounters, from pushing Terry Marvin as close as anyone, beating Biggs, scrapping it out with Evan Envi, and even making a play for the Xtreme Championship that was once proudly mine. While there are isolated moments of success, I think the general verdict is that A.C. Smith’s APW career, not unlike my own, has slipped into the ‘average’ grading, whereby it seems that really defining moment has passed him by.”
“That isn’t a cheap shot because A.C. is a guy with an outstanding character who doesn’t merit that kind of talk; but it is a fact that A.C. is a guy who you have to feel has short-changed the hype he was given when he first arrived. That’s why I think this match is one of great importance. We’re both kind of in that place where we’re struggling to find our identity, our place and sense of purpose within this organisation. I suppose the difference lies in that some people would still back the horse A.C. is riding, whereas that on which I race with it better suited for the knackers yard. Be that as it may, I guess my purpose has come to try and prove other people wrong.”
“I know those who have written me off are among the many, while my supporters remain the few, but I want to let everyone know I haven’t given up yet. There are no excuses here, no claim at saying I haven’t been myself of late, because such a thing would be an admission of deception on my part. I’m not going to say I am a man reborn because again it suggests that somehow I haven’t exactly given my all to the cause, but let this week be a reminder that I am not a changed man. The principles I believe in, the very ideals I have fought fifteen years for, remain true in my heart, and this week I aim to carrying on showing the world that there is still fight in this old dog, that I can still surprise people, and I can prove I still belong among this elite group of athletes.”
“A.C. I know we’re going to put on a show that we will both be proud of and that every fan in the arena will enjoy. I know this because that is the kind of guys we are. Maybe that sounds a bit self-congratulatory, but I’ve got no qualms in admitting that in you I see a kindred spirit, and I know that when two fighters come together who share the right kind of principles, that the spectacle and the sport is better off for it.”
“Before and after the match I will be proud to shake hands, and when we’re done punching lumps out of one another, I will welcome you into my bosom as one of my brothers, but between the bells we can and should expect to give and take Hell from one another. I’m looking forward to it A.C.; I’m looking forward to a fight that is long overdue, one I have anticipated since our paths first crossed; I’m looking forward to continuing my fight; I’m looking forward to proving that actions do speak louder than words; I’m looking forward to proving I still belong here.”
“What the Hell!” Vern barks at Dionysus. “What happened to you tonight?”
Dionysus has no verbal response, but turns his back and continues to walk. Wheeler makes the effort to catch up with Dionysus and get ahead of him.
“I’m sick of this,” Wheeler continues, then putting a hand on Dionysus’ chest to try and stop the man. Dionysus stops momentarily, then changes his course slightly, brushing past his agent. “So now you’re not even talking to me?”
Dionysus stops dead in his tracks and turns around to face his agent.
“What do you want me to say?”
“I’d like an explanation. Do you realise how you made me look in there?”
“I’m not responsible for the promises you can’t keep.”
“No, but what about your own promises?”
Dionysus turned away and continued his journey to his car.
“That’s what it’s come down to now, huh? You walking away.”
“Maybe I’ve got no other direction to take.”
“There’s always an alternative path. Nobody knows that better than you.”
Having stopped Dionysus turned back to face his agent.
“Maybe I don’t believe that map anymore. Listen, I’m sorry I let you down.”
“You didn’t just let me down. Sure, it took all my powers of persuasion to get Rebel to sign you into that battle royale, in principle, and it will be a long time before he’s willing to listen to my pleas on your behalf; but what about the others?”
“What others?”
“The people who came to see you.”
“I think the days the people paid to see me have long since passed. Maybe that’s the point; maybe I’m the last one to realise that.”
“So you’re gonna quit? You’re gonna just walk out like this?”
“I didn’t say I was walking, but I’m not sure there are many more defeats left in me; I’m not sure my mind can be crippled any further by the pain of failure.”
“What happened to the guy I knew; the guy I loved and had absolute faith in?”
“I’m not your messiah nailed to some cross.”
“Nobody said you had to be.”
“Then what’s with the guilt trip? Listen, I’m all out; I’ve got nothing left to give, and it’s better to burn out than to fade away, right?”
“I knew a guy who once thought it was better to fight, and fight until every drop was dried up.”
“Maybe that time has come; I’ve ceased to be the wrestler, but instead have become the desert born of months of drought.”
“And what if the rains are just around the corner?”
“Foresight would be a wonderful gift. But sentimentality and romanticism cannot save me now. How long can I maintain this charade? It’s been, what, six months now?”
“John, you just need a break; it will come. Maybe you just need some inspiration. Isn’t that what this Evan Envi thing is all about?”
“I thought I had something to offer; but if a guy like Envi already sees me as a shrivelled relic of the past, what hope do I have of guys like Johnny Rebel taking me seriously?”
“Make it so. Stop skirting the issue and call Envi out for the match you want.”
“I just want to help the kid be somebody; you know, something I could never be.”
“You think you can gain success vicariously through somebody else?”
“I think he has something real; I’d hate to see that squandered.”
“Then you know what to do.”
Dionysus looked confused.
“We both know,” Wheeler continued, “if you’re going to teach that kid anything; there is only one classroom you know how to work. It’s square, it’s got ropes, I think you get the idea.”
“That’s not what I want...”
Wheeler raised a smirk on his face.
“Call the kid out. You want to teach him an important lesson, show him what it means to be in a fight; then we’ll see whether the oil has run dry inside your gut.”
*
On the eve of the latest edition of Overdrive, and ahead of another match that could potentially re-ignite his career, John Dionysus took some time out to share his thoughts with the APW world.
“Let’s be quite frank; this existence we enjoy is a finite affair. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to sound profound with some trite observations, but it would not be amiss for me to point out that even the wrestling world is subject the Buddhist law of impermanence. As much as Terry Marvin basks in his own conceit and the delusion that he is engaged in some thousand-year Reich as the Undisputed Champion; as much as Level-One concocts some bullshit pantomime, with his cacophony of sycophants and hangers-ons, to make himself still feel relevant; and as much Kurt Noble struggles with his own essence, what is indubitable is that something in the universe is looking on and having a damn good joke at our expense.”
“I’ll concede I’ve been prone to this delusion myself of late. I’m neither ignorant nor proud enough to deny that things haven’t exactly been a bunch of roses for me in recent months. In fact, I wouldn’t exactly be going out on a limb to say that as far as credibility in APW goes, none has sunk lower than mine over the past five months. Nevertheless here I stand, still fighting, still with the same eye on the prize, the same thirst for victory as anyone else on the roster.”
“Just as much early ‘run’ of success was a delusion that led me to the complacency that has brought on this slump, so too would it be a mistake to believe that recent results need determine my wider future. I won’t kid myself into thinking I am any sort of contender, but I stand true by my principles that as long as there is an iota of fighting spirit inside my bones I will continue to march to that ring every week and give my opponents as much as Hell as it is in my capacity to produce.”
“Last week I let myself down by violating that very principle that has carried me through my career. I have never been a quitter, to such an extent that I don’t even have a towel in my corner that could be thrown in. However last week I turned my back on myself and on the very ideals that make me who I am, that make me worth even a grain of dirt in this world. I refused to compete, I turned down and opportunity, and therefore I cheapened myself as a wrestler; I lessened myself as a man.”
“Why I did that isn’t of any consequence today, as I look at it, because it’s done and nothing is possible to change that fact. All I can do is look to the future and try to move on, try to get myself back in the race, dust myself off and leap right back into the saddle, because if I’m as sure as I’m a mortal, I’m sure that there is no-one in this business who is going to offer you a helping hand when you fall.”
John Dionysus stopped here to take a pause in his monologue and collect his next set of thoughts.
“I’m not gonna talk to you here and try to over-analyse what has gone wrong with my career over the past few months. At the end of the day, in this business it is actions that speak louder than words, it’s deeds not hard talk that turns men into champions. All the strategy in the world and all the philosophizing about how hard done by you feel, or how you could do things different doesn’t change a thing about the past, and as for the future....well, to me, it’s plain as the two hands I hold up before my eyes that we can all talk well and true about what we need to do to make things into a better future, but the doing, well now that’s the truly hard part.”
“Maybe some people will look at me and say ‘John, you not learning, you’re not doing anything different’. They will advise me that I’m like a lumberjack trying for all eternity to cut down a tree by banging my head against its trunks. But even if I am like some wood-cutting Sisyphus, action is the only way I know. If I know anything about this business it is that setbacks are only overcome by dragging your sorry ass off the mat, keeping your chin up in front of that crowd, and saying to the next guy ‘you gonna try to put me down as well?’ If he succeeds, then move onto the next guy. Maybe loss of loss is a bit like being tied down until the torrent of a waterfall, in a ceaseless state of physical annihilation. But one thing I know is that sooner or later that waterfall is going to run dry and the sun will shine. That’s all about belief and resisting, and never giving up no matter how much water is poured on top of you. Belief and the readiness to take action, that’s what it’s all about. No more, no less.”
“So I’m not going to sit around and sulk about the fact that I lost last week, or the week before, or that I may lose this week. It’s all inconsequential and part of the flux, just like winning. Instead I’m going to remember what matters most in this business, and that’s the fight.”
Dionysus, feeling refreshed by his attempts at self-motivation, smiles before he moves onto the specifics of this week’s encounters.
“Funnily enough, my match this week brings me full circle. Why do I say that? Well the source of downfall can be traced to my opponent this week, or at least my first encounter with him.”
“When A.C. Smith joined APW all those months ago he made a big impact, surprising many by qualifying for the Test For The Best finals. I knew the guy had something then, and even though he hasn’t achieved the kind of success many expected then, this doesn’t shake my conviction that this is guy who, when he finally leaves APW, will look back on a career smothered with credentials and accolades.”
“Even though I could see the potential, I’ll concede I probably underestimated A.C. back then, and was caught off guard when he pulled off that big win without the help of Terry Marvin. I haven’t exactly been following his career in much detail since then, but I’ve observed the general ebb and flow.”
“There have been big match encounters, from pushing Terry Marvin as close as anyone, beating Biggs, scrapping it out with Evan Envi, and even making a play for the Xtreme Championship that was once proudly mine. While there are isolated moments of success, I think the general verdict is that A.C. Smith’s APW career, not unlike my own, has slipped into the ‘average’ grading, whereby it seems that really defining moment has passed him by.”
“That isn’t a cheap shot because A.C. is a guy with an outstanding character who doesn’t merit that kind of talk; but it is a fact that A.C. is a guy who you have to feel has short-changed the hype he was given when he first arrived. That’s why I think this match is one of great importance. We’re both kind of in that place where we’re struggling to find our identity, our place and sense of purpose within this organisation. I suppose the difference lies in that some people would still back the horse A.C. is riding, whereas that on which I race with it better suited for the knackers yard. Be that as it may, I guess my purpose has come to try and prove other people wrong.”
“I know those who have written me off are among the many, while my supporters remain the few, but I want to let everyone know I haven’t given up yet. There are no excuses here, no claim at saying I haven’t been myself of late, because such a thing would be an admission of deception on my part. I’m not going to say I am a man reborn because again it suggests that somehow I haven’t exactly given my all to the cause, but let this week be a reminder that I am not a changed man. The principles I believe in, the very ideals I have fought fifteen years for, remain true in my heart, and this week I aim to carrying on showing the world that there is still fight in this old dog, that I can still surprise people, and I can prove I still belong among this elite group of athletes.”
“A.C. I know we’re going to put on a show that we will both be proud of and that every fan in the arena will enjoy. I know this because that is the kind of guys we are. Maybe that sounds a bit self-congratulatory, but I’ve got no qualms in admitting that in you I see a kindred spirit, and I know that when two fighters come together who share the right kind of principles, that the spectacle and the sport is better off for it.”
“Before and after the match I will be proud to shake hands, and when we’re done punching lumps out of one another, I will welcome you into my bosom as one of my brothers, but between the bells we can and should expect to give and take Hell from one another. I’m looking forward to it A.C.; I’m looking forward to a fight that is long overdue, one I have anticipated since our paths first crossed; I’m looking forward to continuing my fight; I’m looking forward to proving that actions do speak louder than words; I’m looking forward to proving I still belong here.”
