Post by Mark Mania on Dec 17, 2012 16:21:36 GMT -4
As I walk down the street by my house, I start to wonder about things in the bigger picture. There are only so many matches, so many times I can lace up the boots and walk down to ringside. It’s not fun to think this way, it doesn’t settle my mind or rest my body. When you know that one day you have to walk away, you know that one day the only thing you ever loved will be gone.
They say that if you wake up every day and do what you love for a living, you’ll never work a day in your life. I don’t feel like I’ve ever not earned a paycheck and I don’t feel like I ever kept myself from opportunities. I’ve always done things the way I wanted to do them. Not because I’m selfish or because I’m self-centered, but because in the end, I’m all I have.
There are friends, co-workers, family, and the like. But when it’s over, when there is nothing left, that’s when you realize how alone you really are. Over the past fifteen years I’ve wrestled all over this world. I’ve gained fans of every age, ethnicity, and economical standing. I’ve been in business meetings with CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies and had them tell me that I was their favorite wrestler of all time. I’ve also been on Mission trips in Eastern Africa and after wrestling had a young boy come up and give me a hug.
There’s a lot of power in those things. They’re not taken for granted. But even though I’ve been touched in my life by these people, when it’s all over, I’m by myself. Once I hang up the boots and call it a career, the fans will slowly start to trickle away. I’ll be a nostalgic name. It’s like seeing pictures of an original Nintendo. You take yourself back to a simpler time. Within a matter of years, I’ll cause the same reaction. People will remember fondly the times they watched me in the ring. People will tell their children stories whenever my name gets brought up. But I know it won’t be the same.
Eventually all I’m going to have is my own peace of mind. That’s why when I get in the ring with Azrael Goeren on Christmas Eve, I’m not going to be wrestling for my fans, for my friends, or for the other wrestlers of the APW. At Christmas Chaos, I will be wrestling for myself.
Rosa comes up to me, tears in her eyes and a tissue in her hand.
“I don’t know how you’re going to do this.”
I put my face in my palms and breathe deep.
“It’s not a matter of how I’m going to do it. It’s a matter of how people are going to rebound from this. How do people heal from something like this? I couldn’t imagine.”
I stand behind a curtain that soon I’ll have to go through to talk to men and women who lost their children just this past Friday. It’s not something I look forward to or even volunteered for. I was asked and I drove there as fast as I could. Being that Christmas Chaos is at Madison Square Garden, Newtown, Connecticut isn’t that far away.
“Mark, you’re up.” Rosa says, still fighting tears.
“Alright.” I take a deep breath again and walk out to a stone faced crowd. Most with tears in their eyes.
“I cannot begin to imagine the pain and suffering that you are all going through right now. I’m here with the heaviest of hearts to offer my dearest apologies and sincerest prayers. While the pain will not go away anytime soon, the strength of this community and now this country will endure. There’s no reason to make this into a debate about gun control or Second Amendment rights. The only issue here is that people need healing.”
“I was asked over the weekend how I was able to wrestle when such tragedies were happening. I feel that it is my duty to all of you to continue my work and continue doing all the entertaining I can. While your lives will never be whole again, it is important to not let this be the end. Those beautiful children are back with their maker, with their God, and while we wait here to join them, we must endure.”
“It’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to be enjoyable. No parent should ever have to bury their child. It is the greatest tragedy of all when you have to say goodbye to person who helped create. Your children and loved ones that were lost will always be in your hearts and in your memories. You will never forget them, you can only live on, with their spirit inside you, in honor of them.”
“Again I want to offer my deepest condolences and while I know my words will not ease your pain, I can only hope that the strength of community here in Newtown will be enough to continue on after these tragedies. For all the APW and from my family and myself. We are Newtown strong.”
The crowd cheers and claps, but it has no effect on me as I walk away. Normally a cheering crowd is enough to make any man feel bigger, faster, and stronger. Today, I feel empty.
“I had a nightmare last night that the World War II movie we made actually came out and was produced.”
“Oh god, that is a nightmare.”
“It’s funny how things get put into prospective sometimes.”
“Isn’t that the truth? How are you going to face Azrael this week?”
“Same way I’d face him last week. With every inch of my body working at one hundred percent.”
“He seemed to get under your skin a little bit last Overdrive.” She’s so great at seeing these subtleties.
“Yeah, just a little bit. But it was the plan all along. I wasn’t going to wrestle alongside Delikado, the whole world knew that. Then the more I thought about it, I also didn’t want to let Azrael win this damn match. I had to take him out of it.”
“Too bad you still lost.” Shot through the heart and she’s to blame.
“Who the hell would think that hitting someone with a chair would count as a tag!?”
“Either way you were going to lose. You hit your partner with a chair.”
“No need to get into specifics here, Rosa. I don’t mind that I lost that match. I won the one that mattered. I beat Azrael one on one. First person to do that in the APW. Now we meet again, this time for my title. I’m going to make sure this match ends the exact way it should. This time there will be no disqualifications, no count outs, nothing. We get in the ring and we finish this.”
“Are you sure it was a good idea to make it no disqualification? He’s pretty experienced in the world of hardcore wrestling.”
“Oh give me a break. I know you don’t know much of my work prior to APW, but I was the Xtreme Champion at one point, hope you remember that. I beat Michael Lively, who at the time was still in the pinnacle of his game to get that title. I can handle any sort of extreme match or no disqualification match better than most.”
“Oh come on, one Xtreme title and suddenly you’re the master of hardcore.”
“Rosa! Come on! Don’t you do any research? Haven’t you at least looked at my Wikipedia page?”
“Uhh.” Smooth answer.
“I used to be the king of these types of matches. There is a tournament that predates the Extreme Tournament, it was called the Ultimate Hardcore Cup. The same people that were the brains of The Experts created this cup to see who was the greatest Hardcore wrestler of all time. While I didn’t win it, it was there that I began to make a name for myself as one of the great hardcore wrestlers. So, trust me I can handle myself in this match. I’ll go scar for scar with Azrael any time.”
“Nobody cares about the things you used to do. You’re the clean cut Overdrive Champion now. And, I don’t know how to put this lightly, but you’re a lot older now then you were back then.”
“It’s amazing I haven’t fired you yet. Don’t worry about me Rosa, I’ll be able to handle myself in this match. That’s why it was my idea!”
“I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.”
“Goeren made me look bad. There’s no doubting that. I wasn’t ready for him to challenge for my Overdrive title. I didn’t see our paths going in that direction. In a moment of weakness I didn’t look my best. That was a tough pill to swallow. I knew the only way to bounce back from that weakness was to push this match one step further. I did that, and I couldn’t be happier.”
“I’m just saying, you realize your match against him would’ve been different if it was no disqualification. He would’ve still had that hold in.”
“I had him right where I wanted him. Leave it alone Rosa. I’m not worried about being underprepared for this. I’ve got a few plans up my sleeves.”
“What have you done?”
“Just called in some old friends.”
“You’re going to kill yourself.”
“I’m a wrestler, that’s what I do.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mark Mania, and welcome to the hardcore training video. I’m here in my humble basement with a true legend.”
I stand in the basement of my house in suburban Melrose, Massachusetts. Beside me is a man with a hoodie over his head and who stands about the same height as me. The basement has relatively tall ceilings and posts going down the middle of the room. There is a box of assorted items next to the man.
“The man here retired from professional wrestling nearly five years ago. However, when I decided that I would challenge Azrael Goeren to a no-disqualification match, I knew that I had to bring in the ultimate hardcore wrestler. He is widely considered one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. He is the creator of the Ultimate Hardcore Cup, ladies and gentlemen, Maddog!”
Maddog takes down his hoodie to reveal his long dirty blonde hair and a scar that stretch the length of his face diagonally.
“Now Maddog, why are we here today?”
“Glad you asked, Mark. We’re here to reintegrate you into the hardcore society. It’s been a long time since you’ve been in a real hardcore match and I’m here to make sure you can still handle it.”
“And how are you going to do that, Maddog?”
“I’m going to hit you over the head with a lot of shit!”
“Now, now, Maddog. APW is family programming. Please refrain from using words like shit, fuck, and cock sucker.”
“Those are my favorite three words!”
“Cock sucker is two words.”
“Those are my favorite four words!”
“Much fucking better.”
“Let’s get started shall we?”
Maddog reaches into the box of goodies and pulls out a cookie sheet.
“Here we have an easy one. The old fashioned cookie sheet. Most of you probably started in your parents basement hitting each other in the head with a cookie sheet. Let’s start there.”
Maddog lifts it up above his head and slams down on top of me with the cookie sheet. I take the hit and smile.
“Good start Maddog, real good start. Let’s see what’s next.”
Maddog reaches into the box.
“A fluorescent lightbulb!”
“Oh these are just fun. Not only do you inflict pain, but you get a great noise from the glass shattering and potential deep cuts.”
With one hand Maddog swipes at the back of my head and the light bulb breaks around it and glass flies everywhere. I reach at the back of my head and pull out a piece of glass that is stuck in my hair.
“That’s a good one, didn’t you just love that sound?”
“A true pleasure to hear. Hope the audio on this camera picked it up.”
“Let’s see what else we have.”
Maddog reaches into the box again and pull out, a toaster?
“A toaster? Where the hell are we going to find a toaster?”
“I don’t know, let’s just do it!”
Maddog lifts the toaster above his head with two hands and smashes it on top of my head. There is a big dent in the toaster and I can feel my head start to bleed a little bit.
“We have blood! Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls, if this was a first blood match, Mark would’ve already lost. You really have lost your way my friend.”
“No one’s bringing a toaster!”
“They’re going to now!”
“Let’s just move on to the next one.”
Maddog reaches into the box.
“The old faithful! The steel chair. Everybody who’s anybody can take a good hit with the steel chair.”
Maddog rears back and smacks me across the head with the chair knocking me to the ground. I get up quickly, bleeding even more from my head.
“And we have a knockdown! Looks like we’re going to have to train all week long!”
“Can’t wait, Maddog! Well folks, that’s it for this training video. Happy to have you all into my home, please try this at home. But don’t sue me, because my lawyers are better than yours and you’ll just be brain-dead and broke. Merry Christmas everyone!”
“That is by far one of the stupidest things you’ve ever done.” Rosa says this as a cut right above my right eye is being stitched up.
“Oh trust me, I’ve done far worse things than that.” Not the answer she wanted.
“You’re disgusting. Does this make you feel tough? Is this going to help you in your match with Azrael?”
“It might. I’ve taken a couple shots to the head now.”
“If the doctor wasn’t stitching you up, I’m slap you right across the face.”
“You’re too kind to me, you know that?”
“You could’ve gotten seriously injured and not been able to wrestle.”
“There is nothing that is going to happen between now and next Sunday that’s going to keep me from wrestling Goeren.”
“Well, a toaster almost did.”
“Enough with the toaster! There aren’t going to be toasters by the ring.”
“I should put one there just so you can eat your hat.”
“Eat my hat? What the hell does that even mean.”
“It’s an expression.”
“Where?”
“What do you mean where, you’ve never heard of people who are wrong eating their hats?”
“Must be a Mexican thing.”
“You’re a real asshole.”
“That’s what I’m shooting for!”
“Mr. Goeren, very glad I can talk to you this week before our match. Don’t think I’ve been ignoring you, I’ve seen your tweets and your messages to my assistant. I figured that a more conventional conversation would be appropriate. Seems like you’re a little upset by your back window getting smashed in eh? Did APW not pay you enough to come over here and start acting like you deserve the world? Just get it replaced, it’s a windshield, not the whole car you big baby.”
“Now that I brought up your entitlement issue though, I’d like to stick with that. I know that you were courted by APW management and encouraged to come here. I’m sure you were promised the world and were told that you’d get a chance to really shine. Your oversized ego probably started puffing up and you started to think that you’d get everything handed to you.”
“While that may have been what was promised, I can guarantee you that it’s not going to happen. I’m real proud of you for all of your accomplishments outside of APW. I have no doubt that you’re a great wrestler, great competitor, and you deserve all the accolades you’ve gotten.”
“My point was and remains to be, this isn’t the CWC, this is APW. I learned the lesson when I got here. What you’ve done before doesn’t mean shit. The only thing that the APW fans and APW wrestlers care about is what you’ve done here in this ring. Maybe you’ll go on to be the Undisputed Champion and you’ll become an APW Hall of Famer, I don’t know. But it hasn’t happened yet.”
“I’m not saying you leveraged yourself to get this Overdrive title shot, you won a few big matches here, you almost beat me, I guess that gives you the chance to face me. But trust me, the second you start getting things you don’t deserve, not only will the fans turn on you, but all the guys backstage will too. I know you’re not very popular with the fans as is, but can you imagine if they didn’t like you and felt like they were being cheated? Oh you’d have some explaining to do.”
“The APW is a tight-knit family Azrael. We don’t always get along, but we protect our own. We know when someone has been wronged and we know when someone is getting something they don’t deserve. So just watch yourself Goeren. You’re stepping on a lot of toes and making a lot of people angry.”
“I don’t want to get bogged down by this because I mentioned it last week but you’ve been given a lot here, don’t fuck it up.”
“So instead of focusing solely on that, I’d like to touch on the events of this past Overdrive. Now I’m sure you got a lot more than you bargained for. You don’t really know the history that Deli and myself have and from that, you must have been confused when I sat down at the announcers table and didn’t get into the ring. It must have been eating away at you on the inside. Why on earth wouldn’t I be chomping at the bit to get into the ring with you right after we declared that our match would be for the Overdrive title!?”
“Here’s the thing, I didn’t need to win or lose that match. That wasn’t important to me, what was important is that I made you feel pain. I wanted you to see what I was capable of and feel what I was capable of. I hope at Christmas Chaos we’re out in the parking lot again and instead of hitting your car I get your right between the eyes.”
“Even though I spent very little time in the ring last Overdrive, I accomplished everything I needed to. I got you to fear me. You can spin it however you want. Saying that I lost control or that you were just getting away because I needed help. But we all know the truth. You were afraid of me and you got into your car and sped away. It was a coward move and it was more than I could’ve ever hoped for. I may not have won the match or even really wrestled in the match, but so help me, I did everything I needed to.”
“Now as we walk into our match at Christmas Chaos, you will know damn well that you fear me. You’ll put on your tough guy face and show off to the crowd, but deep down, we both know that you don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“It’s interesting because you keep trying to paint me into this corner of being the straight-laced one percenter. Granted, I have the money and I look the part. But behind these eyes is some crazy shit. I know you weren’t here during my split personality spell, but it was wild! I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2010 and luckily the great doctors of Mass General Hospital were able to get me on a good set of meds that controls that.”
“So, while I look the part and act the part, you better damn believe you’re going to see a different Mark Mania next week. What you don’t seem to understand is that this title means a lot to me. It’s been a long time since I’ve held a title in the APW and I’m doing every last thing imaginable to make sure I don’t lose it. If that means I need to lose my mind for the night, so be it.”
“Hold on to your special little image of me Azrael, because it’s not going to last. You seem to think that if I lose control or turn into some kind of animal that I’m no better than Delikado, but it’s easy to say that from the outside looking in. I haven’t defaced this title or used it to carry out any nefarious deeds. I’ve held it, respected it, and now I’m ready to defend it.”
“When Christmas Chaos rears its ugly head, I’ll be in the ring, ready to go through hell. I know that the two of us will give the people the show that they want, but I’ll be there to keep my title and that’s all. As you said, despite our hiccups the past two weeks, there is no hate between us. There hasn’t been time for any hate to breed. But I can tell you this, I love that title a lot more than I could hate anyone, so I’m going to be fighting with just as much passion to make sure I hold onto it.”
“You don’t see this title like I do. You see it as a stepping stone. You’ve heard that Biggs, Kurt Noble, Terry Marvin have all had this title, and so you, in your ever increasing desire to be ‘the best’ realize that you need to follow in the footsteps of those that are actually considered the best. A lot has changed since they’ve held this title though. While it may have been a stepping stone at one point, it is now a status symbol.”
“Holding any type of gold in the APW is a miraculous feat. People fight for years in this place and never get the chance to strap a belt around their waist. With the talent we have in the APW now, every title is worth more than any Heavyweight Title elsewhere. I challenge you to find a World Champion outside of these walls who could compete with me.”
“Well, actually, I guess you answered my own challenge.”
“You’re the one that could change the way people think about the APW. Are you good enough to come into my house and take the title away from me? You’ve been world champion elsewhere. Everywhere you’ve gone you’ve been considered one of the best, you’ve been considered the man to beat. Now, you come into the APW and try to challenge one of the best. We’ll see what happens Azrael. But if I were a betting man, I’d bet on APW to succeed.”
“A win for me, is a win for APW because it shows that anyone here can beat an outsider, no matter how decorated he may be. We are the cream of the crop and while you’ve been here for a few months now, you’re yet to become a true member of the APW. Maybe if you beat me, hang around awhile longer, then you’ll work your way in. But for now, you’re a wannabe.”
“Let this be a real welcome for you this week Azrael. Let this be your foray into what APW is all about. I couldn’t be happier that we agreed to make this a no disqualification match because I’m going to push you to your limit and then break you. One minute at a time you’re going to see that you’re overmatched.”
“I don’t mean to say that I’m going to handily defeat you. I’ve been around too long to believe that. But I do know that I’m going to step up my game and fight you as hard as I’ve fought anybody as of late. I don’t know if you can tell, but how I’m perceived is pretty important to me. And when I see people in the message boards all picking you to win, it disgusts me. Everyone talks about how you’re one of the best and how it could be a tough road for me. I need to change those perceptions. I need people to realize that I am the one people should fear. I am the one who is going to make it a tough road for anyone who steps in my way.”
“My name is Mark Mania and when I beat you the international wrestling world will go wild. From the media hub of Western Civilization, New York City, Nicky Paige will proclaim that Mark Mania is STILL the APW Overdrive Champion and that he defeated Azrael Goeren and all of his accolades.”
“This is going to be a fun week of preparation Goeren, but you better believe that I’ll have an early Christmas present for you next Sunday. Ho, ho, ho.”
They say that if you wake up every day and do what you love for a living, you’ll never work a day in your life. I don’t feel like I’ve ever not earned a paycheck and I don’t feel like I ever kept myself from opportunities. I’ve always done things the way I wanted to do them. Not because I’m selfish or because I’m self-centered, but because in the end, I’m all I have.
There are friends, co-workers, family, and the like. But when it’s over, when there is nothing left, that’s when you realize how alone you really are. Over the past fifteen years I’ve wrestled all over this world. I’ve gained fans of every age, ethnicity, and economical standing. I’ve been in business meetings with CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies and had them tell me that I was their favorite wrestler of all time. I’ve also been on Mission trips in Eastern Africa and after wrestling had a young boy come up and give me a hug.
There’s a lot of power in those things. They’re not taken for granted. But even though I’ve been touched in my life by these people, when it’s all over, I’m by myself. Once I hang up the boots and call it a career, the fans will slowly start to trickle away. I’ll be a nostalgic name. It’s like seeing pictures of an original Nintendo. You take yourself back to a simpler time. Within a matter of years, I’ll cause the same reaction. People will remember fondly the times they watched me in the ring. People will tell their children stories whenever my name gets brought up. But I know it won’t be the same.
Eventually all I’m going to have is my own peace of mind. That’s why when I get in the ring with Azrael Goeren on Christmas Eve, I’m not going to be wrestling for my fans, for my friends, or for the other wrestlers of the APW. At Christmas Chaos, I will be wrestling for myself.
Rosa comes up to me, tears in her eyes and a tissue in her hand.
“I don’t know how you’re going to do this.”
I put my face in my palms and breathe deep.
“It’s not a matter of how I’m going to do it. It’s a matter of how people are going to rebound from this. How do people heal from something like this? I couldn’t imagine.”
I stand behind a curtain that soon I’ll have to go through to talk to men and women who lost their children just this past Friday. It’s not something I look forward to or even volunteered for. I was asked and I drove there as fast as I could. Being that Christmas Chaos is at Madison Square Garden, Newtown, Connecticut isn’t that far away.
“Mark, you’re up.” Rosa says, still fighting tears.
“Alright.” I take a deep breath again and walk out to a stone faced crowd. Most with tears in their eyes.
“I cannot begin to imagine the pain and suffering that you are all going through right now. I’m here with the heaviest of hearts to offer my dearest apologies and sincerest prayers. While the pain will not go away anytime soon, the strength of this community and now this country will endure. There’s no reason to make this into a debate about gun control or Second Amendment rights. The only issue here is that people need healing.”
“I was asked over the weekend how I was able to wrestle when such tragedies were happening. I feel that it is my duty to all of you to continue my work and continue doing all the entertaining I can. While your lives will never be whole again, it is important to not let this be the end. Those beautiful children are back with their maker, with their God, and while we wait here to join them, we must endure.”
“It’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to be enjoyable. No parent should ever have to bury their child. It is the greatest tragedy of all when you have to say goodbye to person who helped create. Your children and loved ones that were lost will always be in your hearts and in your memories. You will never forget them, you can only live on, with their spirit inside you, in honor of them.”
“Again I want to offer my deepest condolences and while I know my words will not ease your pain, I can only hope that the strength of community here in Newtown will be enough to continue on after these tragedies. For all the APW and from my family and myself. We are Newtown strong.”
The crowd cheers and claps, but it has no effect on me as I walk away. Normally a cheering crowd is enough to make any man feel bigger, faster, and stronger. Today, I feel empty.
“I had a nightmare last night that the World War II movie we made actually came out and was produced.”
“Oh god, that is a nightmare.”
“It’s funny how things get put into prospective sometimes.”
“Isn’t that the truth? How are you going to face Azrael this week?”
“Same way I’d face him last week. With every inch of my body working at one hundred percent.”
“He seemed to get under your skin a little bit last Overdrive.” She’s so great at seeing these subtleties.
“Yeah, just a little bit. But it was the plan all along. I wasn’t going to wrestle alongside Delikado, the whole world knew that. Then the more I thought about it, I also didn’t want to let Azrael win this damn match. I had to take him out of it.”
“Too bad you still lost.” Shot through the heart and she’s to blame.
“Who the hell would think that hitting someone with a chair would count as a tag!?”
“Either way you were going to lose. You hit your partner with a chair.”
“No need to get into specifics here, Rosa. I don’t mind that I lost that match. I won the one that mattered. I beat Azrael one on one. First person to do that in the APW. Now we meet again, this time for my title. I’m going to make sure this match ends the exact way it should. This time there will be no disqualifications, no count outs, nothing. We get in the ring and we finish this.”
“Are you sure it was a good idea to make it no disqualification? He’s pretty experienced in the world of hardcore wrestling.”
“Oh give me a break. I know you don’t know much of my work prior to APW, but I was the Xtreme Champion at one point, hope you remember that. I beat Michael Lively, who at the time was still in the pinnacle of his game to get that title. I can handle any sort of extreme match or no disqualification match better than most.”
“Oh come on, one Xtreme title and suddenly you’re the master of hardcore.”
“Rosa! Come on! Don’t you do any research? Haven’t you at least looked at my Wikipedia page?”
“Uhh.” Smooth answer.
“I used to be the king of these types of matches. There is a tournament that predates the Extreme Tournament, it was called the Ultimate Hardcore Cup. The same people that were the brains of The Experts created this cup to see who was the greatest Hardcore wrestler of all time. While I didn’t win it, it was there that I began to make a name for myself as one of the great hardcore wrestlers. So, trust me I can handle myself in this match. I’ll go scar for scar with Azrael any time.”
“Nobody cares about the things you used to do. You’re the clean cut Overdrive Champion now. And, I don’t know how to put this lightly, but you’re a lot older now then you were back then.”
“It’s amazing I haven’t fired you yet. Don’t worry about me Rosa, I’ll be able to handle myself in this match. That’s why it was my idea!”
“I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.”
“Goeren made me look bad. There’s no doubting that. I wasn’t ready for him to challenge for my Overdrive title. I didn’t see our paths going in that direction. In a moment of weakness I didn’t look my best. That was a tough pill to swallow. I knew the only way to bounce back from that weakness was to push this match one step further. I did that, and I couldn’t be happier.”
“I’m just saying, you realize your match against him would’ve been different if it was no disqualification. He would’ve still had that hold in.”
“I had him right where I wanted him. Leave it alone Rosa. I’m not worried about being underprepared for this. I’ve got a few plans up my sleeves.”
“What have you done?”
“Just called in some old friends.”
“You’re going to kill yourself.”
“I’m a wrestler, that’s what I do.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mark Mania, and welcome to the hardcore training video. I’m here in my humble basement with a true legend.”
I stand in the basement of my house in suburban Melrose, Massachusetts. Beside me is a man with a hoodie over his head and who stands about the same height as me. The basement has relatively tall ceilings and posts going down the middle of the room. There is a box of assorted items next to the man.
“The man here retired from professional wrestling nearly five years ago. However, when I decided that I would challenge Azrael Goeren to a no-disqualification match, I knew that I had to bring in the ultimate hardcore wrestler. He is widely considered one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. He is the creator of the Ultimate Hardcore Cup, ladies and gentlemen, Maddog!”
Maddog takes down his hoodie to reveal his long dirty blonde hair and a scar that stretch the length of his face diagonally.
“Now Maddog, why are we here today?”
“Glad you asked, Mark. We’re here to reintegrate you into the hardcore society. It’s been a long time since you’ve been in a real hardcore match and I’m here to make sure you can still handle it.”
“And how are you going to do that, Maddog?”
“I’m going to hit you over the head with a lot of shit!”
“Now, now, Maddog. APW is family programming. Please refrain from using words like shit, fuck, and cock sucker.”
“Those are my favorite three words!”
“Cock sucker is two words.”
“Those are my favorite four words!”
“Much fucking better.”
“Let’s get started shall we?”
Maddog reaches into the box of goodies and pulls out a cookie sheet.
“Here we have an easy one. The old fashioned cookie sheet. Most of you probably started in your parents basement hitting each other in the head with a cookie sheet. Let’s start there.”
Maddog lifts it up above his head and slams down on top of me with the cookie sheet. I take the hit and smile.
“Good start Maddog, real good start. Let’s see what’s next.”
Maddog reaches into the box.
“A fluorescent lightbulb!”
“Oh these are just fun. Not only do you inflict pain, but you get a great noise from the glass shattering and potential deep cuts.”
With one hand Maddog swipes at the back of my head and the light bulb breaks around it and glass flies everywhere. I reach at the back of my head and pull out a piece of glass that is stuck in my hair.
“That’s a good one, didn’t you just love that sound?”
“A true pleasure to hear. Hope the audio on this camera picked it up.”
“Let’s see what else we have.”
Maddog reaches into the box again and pull out, a toaster?
“A toaster? Where the hell are we going to find a toaster?”
“I don’t know, let’s just do it!”
Maddog lifts the toaster above his head with two hands and smashes it on top of my head. There is a big dent in the toaster and I can feel my head start to bleed a little bit.
“We have blood! Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls, if this was a first blood match, Mark would’ve already lost. You really have lost your way my friend.”
“No one’s bringing a toaster!”
“They’re going to now!”
“Let’s just move on to the next one.”
Maddog reaches into the box.
“The old faithful! The steel chair. Everybody who’s anybody can take a good hit with the steel chair.”
Maddog rears back and smacks me across the head with the chair knocking me to the ground. I get up quickly, bleeding even more from my head.
“And we have a knockdown! Looks like we’re going to have to train all week long!”
“Can’t wait, Maddog! Well folks, that’s it for this training video. Happy to have you all into my home, please try this at home. But don’t sue me, because my lawyers are better than yours and you’ll just be brain-dead and broke. Merry Christmas everyone!”
“That is by far one of the stupidest things you’ve ever done.” Rosa says this as a cut right above my right eye is being stitched up.
“Oh trust me, I’ve done far worse things than that.” Not the answer she wanted.
“You’re disgusting. Does this make you feel tough? Is this going to help you in your match with Azrael?”
“It might. I’ve taken a couple shots to the head now.”
“If the doctor wasn’t stitching you up, I’m slap you right across the face.”
“You’re too kind to me, you know that?”
“You could’ve gotten seriously injured and not been able to wrestle.”
“There is nothing that is going to happen between now and next Sunday that’s going to keep me from wrestling Goeren.”
“Well, a toaster almost did.”
“Enough with the toaster! There aren’t going to be toasters by the ring.”
“I should put one there just so you can eat your hat.”
“Eat my hat? What the hell does that even mean.”
“It’s an expression.”
“Where?”
“What do you mean where, you’ve never heard of people who are wrong eating their hats?”
“Must be a Mexican thing.”
“You’re a real asshole.”
“That’s what I’m shooting for!”
“Mr. Goeren, very glad I can talk to you this week before our match. Don’t think I’ve been ignoring you, I’ve seen your tweets and your messages to my assistant. I figured that a more conventional conversation would be appropriate. Seems like you’re a little upset by your back window getting smashed in eh? Did APW not pay you enough to come over here and start acting like you deserve the world? Just get it replaced, it’s a windshield, not the whole car you big baby.”
“Now that I brought up your entitlement issue though, I’d like to stick with that. I know that you were courted by APW management and encouraged to come here. I’m sure you were promised the world and were told that you’d get a chance to really shine. Your oversized ego probably started puffing up and you started to think that you’d get everything handed to you.”
“While that may have been what was promised, I can guarantee you that it’s not going to happen. I’m real proud of you for all of your accomplishments outside of APW. I have no doubt that you’re a great wrestler, great competitor, and you deserve all the accolades you’ve gotten.”
“My point was and remains to be, this isn’t the CWC, this is APW. I learned the lesson when I got here. What you’ve done before doesn’t mean shit. The only thing that the APW fans and APW wrestlers care about is what you’ve done here in this ring. Maybe you’ll go on to be the Undisputed Champion and you’ll become an APW Hall of Famer, I don’t know. But it hasn’t happened yet.”
“I’m not saying you leveraged yourself to get this Overdrive title shot, you won a few big matches here, you almost beat me, I guess that gives you the chance to face me. But trust me, the second you start getting things you don’t deserve, not only will the fans turn on you, but all the guys backstage will too. I know you’re not very popular with the fans as is, but can you imagine if they didn’t like you and felt like they were being cheated? Oh you’d have some explaining to do.”
“The APW is a tight-knit family Azrael. We don’t always get along, but we protect our own. We know when someone has been wronged and we know when someone is getting something they don’t deserve. So just watch yourself Goeren. You’re stepping on a lot of toes and making a lot of people angry.”
“I don’t want to get bogged down by this because I mentioned it last week but you’ve been given a lot here, don’t fuck it up.”
“So instead of focusing solely on that, I’d like to touch on the events of this past Overdrive. Now I’m sure you got a lot more than you bargained for. You don’t really know the history that Deli and myself have and from that, you must have been confused when I sat down at the announcers table and didn’t get into the ring. It must have been eating away at you on the inside. Why on earth wouldn’t I be chomping at the bit to get into the ring with you right after we declared that our match would be for the Overdrive title!?”
“Here’s the thing, I didn’t need to win or lose that match. That wasn’t important to me, what was important is that I made you feel pain. I wanted you to see what I was capable of and feel what I was capable of. I hope at Christmas Chaos we’re out in the parking lot again and instead of hitting your car I get your right between the eyes.”
“Even though I spent very little time in the ring last Overdrive, I accomplished everything I needed to. I got you to fear me. You can spin it however you want. Saying that I lost control or that you were just getting away because I needed help. But we all know the truth. You were afraid of me and you got into your car and sped away. It was a coward move and it was more than I could’ve ever hoped for. I may not have won the match or even really wrestled in the match, but so help me, I did everything I needed to.”
“Now as we walk into our match at Christmas Chaos, you will know damn well that you fear me. You’ll put on your tough guy face and show off to the crowd, but deep down, we both know that you don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“It’s interesting because you keep trying to paint me into this corner of being the straight-laced one percenter. Granted, I have the money and I look the part. But behind these eyes is some crazy shit. I know you weren’t here during my split personality spell, but it was wild! I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2010 and luckily the great doctors of Mass General Hospital were able to get me on a good set of meds that controls that.”
“So, while I look the part and act the part, you better damn believe you’re going to see a different Mark Mania next week. What you don’t seem to understand is that this title means a lot to me. It’s been a long time since I’ve held a title in the APW and I’m doing every last thing imaginable to make sure I don’t lose it. If that means I need to lose my mind for the night, so be it.”
“Hold on to your special little image of me Azrael, because it’s not going to last. You seem to think that if I lose control or turn into some kind of animal that I’m no better than Delikado, but it’s easy to say that from the outside looking in. I haven’t defaced this title or used it to carry out any nefarious deeds. I’ve held it, respected it, and now I’m ready to defend it.”
“When Christmas Chaos rears its ugly head, I’ll be in the ring, ready to go through hell. I know that the two of us will give the people the show that they want, but I’ll be there to keep my title and that’s all. As you said, despite our hiccups the past two weeks, there is no hate between us. There hasn’t been time for any hate to breed. But I can tell you this, I love that title a lot more than I could hate anyone, so I’m going to be fighting with just as much passion to make sure I hold onto it.”
“You don’t see this title like I do. You see it as a stepping stone. You’ve heard that Biggs, Kurt Noble, Terry Marvin have all had this title, and so you, in your ever increasing desire to be ‘the best’ realize that you need to follow in the footsteps of those that are actually considered the best. A lot has changed since they’ve held this title though. While it may have been a stepping stone at one point, it is now a status symbol.”
“Holding any type of gold in the APW is a miraculous feat. People fight for years in this place and never get the chance to strap a belt around their waist. With the talent we have in the APW now, every title is worth more than any Heavyweight Title elsewhere. I challenge you to find a World Champion outside of these walls who could compete with me.”
“Well, actually, I guess you answered my own challenge.”
“You’re the one that could change the way people think about the APW. Are you good enough to come into my house and take the title away from me? You’ve been world champion elsewhere. Everywhere you’ve gone you’ve been considered one of the best, you’ve been considered the man to beat. Now, you come into the APW and try to challenge one of the best. We’ll see what happens Azrael. But if I were a betting man, I’d bet on APW to succeed.”
“A win for me, is a win for APW because it shows that anyone here can beat an outsider, no matter how decorated he may be. We are the cream of the crop and while you’ve been here for a few months now, you’re yet to become a true member of the APW. Maybe if you beat me, hang around awhile longer, then you’ll work your way in. But for now, you’re a wannabe.”
“Let this be a real welcome for you this week Azrael. Let this be your foray into what APW is all about. I couldn’t be happier that we agreed to make this a no disqualification match because I’m going to push you to your limit and then break you. One minute at a time you’re going to see that you’re overmatched.”
“I don’t mean to say that I’m going to handily defeat you. I’ve been around too long to believe that. But I do know that I’m going to step up my game and fight you as hard as I’ve fought anybody as of late. I don’t know if you can tell, but how I’m perceived is pretty important to me. And when I see people in the message boards all picking you to win, it disgusts me. Everyone talks about how you’re one of the best and how it could be a tough road for me. I need to change those perceptions. I need people to realize that I am the one people should fear. I am the one who is going to make it a tough road for anyone who steps in my way.”
“My name is Mark Mania and when I beat you the international wrestling world will go wild. From the media hub of Western Civilization, New York City, Nicky Paige will proclaim that Mark Mania is STILL the APW Overdrive Champion and that he defeated Azrael Goeren and all of his accolades.”
“This is going to be a fun week of preparation Goeren, but you better believe that I’ll have an early Christmas present for you next Sunday. Ho, ho, ho.”
