Post by The Smooth One on Dec 21, 2012 3:03:49 GMT -4
[glow=red,2,300]My Gift to you - Open letter to the Gauntlet Competitors[/glow]
I have been invited to compete in the Tap Out Championship gauntlet match at Christmas Chaos. I will enter this match as the 3rd participant and I will be competing against either the current champion Julius Farquhar or Yarmouth. Who could ask for more? What a Christmas present!! Somebody up there likes me!! I get to compete for the title I have coveted since I arrived. The title that truly shows one’s ability in the wrestling ring and it’s not that the other titles don’t hold great prestige, but the Tap Out title is one where your opponent has to come to a place of failure and admit defeat. I am the least experienced person in this match and I was added after another wrestler dropped out. The pundits don’t think the rookie has a chance, but look at every other sport there is. RGIII – Kirk Cousins – Alfred Morris there is always one rookie that does the impossible…the improbable...the unexpected. Just because I am young in the ring doesn’t mean that I am not experienced in life and in this type of match I’ll have to draw on all of my skills, all of my abilities all of my knowledge to succeed.
I don’t have any friends in this match..I don’t have any enemies either. Yarmouth may want to get his hands on me considering I beat him last week in my debut on Asylum, but other than that no one really knows me and I’ll use that to my advantage. It is one thing to watch the Smooth One work, but another thing to be in the ring with him. The “Quintessentially English” Julius Farquhar and Keaton Saint about to get the gift that keeps on giving…until you say “I QUIT” that is!! The prognosticators say that Saint is the odds on favorite and that it is his time..he is the one to beat. I want to thank all of the naysayers and odds makers you for providing me some bulletin board material, but honestly real players don’t need the bulletin board fodder, because this year at Christmas Chaos I am playing Santa Claus and there is plenty of PAIN to go around. Oh and I like CHOCOLATE chip cookies don’t you leave any Oatmeal Raisin cookies out for me that is just going to make things worse for you!! SMOOTH SANTA likes Chocolate Chips! I have something special for all of the APW fans and something really special my opponents in the gauntlet match. I present…MY GIFT TO YOU…
To the Big Fella: I want to first say thank you! I know they put me in the gauntlet match against you and you didn’t have to sign the contract. Thank you for allowing me to be in the ring with you and I am very fortunate to have won, I would be crazy to think that I could get another victory in this match and it be over you and I am not crazy. I will be watching for you to make a strong showing and as the third participant I would consider it an honor to face you again. If you beat the current Tap Out Champion at Christmas Chaos we’ll get to do it again. I’ll have a slight advantage because you will have just finished competing and well a fresh Smooth One means bad things for anyone. I know you’ll give me all you have and I look forward to round two!! My gift to you Yar is that if you win…the only other match that will be not influenced by the Pillars oh and I owe you a night on the town..I am going to fix this whole “I hate women thing”!!!
In order to get ready to rule you first need to dress the part. You have to look like a CHAMPION and the “Smooth One” certainly knows how to do that. You Mr. Farquhar don’t! Saville Row! I think not!…everyone who is anyone knows that if you want a finely tailored suit.you get one designed by an Italian!! Armani, Dolce, Versace, Gucci, …ah Prada!! The fabric is the finest on earth..the cut is one that only a man with 44 in chest and 38 waist can appreciate I’ll have to watch my back against you not only have no taste in clothes, an obnoxious snob, but you’ll steal candy from a baby. You are a superior craftsman and technician of the finest order, but you getting dq’d is what has you in the opening match..not the mark of a technician. How can you claim royalty and be low down win at all costs slithering snake…you know the “Queen” is not happy with you!! No high tea, no crumpets, no scones and no visit to Buckingham Palace for you, however I can provide you with a tasty barrel of CHOCOLATE covered whip ass with a side of the last two Hostess chocolate cupcakes ever made. WAIT WAIT WAIT…I am sorry..I should be more respectful…more humble…you are the champion and have been for quite some time, but it’s been a month of Sundays since you’ve had your hand risen in victory. I should pay HOMAGE! Please let me apologize…LOL NOT!! Seriously champ..If you beat Yar ..I can’t wait to get in the ring with you and when I give you lesson in how we do it in the Good Ole USA…there are going to be brown stains all over your tighty whities and it won’t be chocolate!! My gift to you Mr. Farquhar is …well twofold! First, I will send you to a surgeon to get that stick removed from your bottom, because you always look like your top lips stinks… maybe it is halitosis?..I’ll send you to the dentist too!! Once you’ve has finished up with all of your medical appointments I will get you a expertly crafted suit from ITALY so he can finally see what it is to be impeccably dressed! You’ll need something to make you feel and look better since you won’t have your belt anymore. Last week I said that how do you become a Legend …you beat one..How do you become a champion? ..in this match if you beat Yar the first step for me to do that will be by beating you. I will technically be champion for that brief moment in time until Saint makes it into the ring..I’ll be champion…I like the way that sounds! I’ll use that small taste of glory..that small glimpse of what could be to fuel me and propel me on through the to the TAP OUT TITLE!! Oh and you can eat cake!!
To Mr. Keaton Saint: Well goddam!! I shouldn’t even be in the ring with you!! You have been everywhere…done it all and are back to do it again, because the first time wasn’t good enough!! Everyone thinks that you are going to be the next Tap Out Champion and that your time is now? I guess the rest of us shouldn’t bother to show up? I mean you’ve got one of your Four Pillars stable mates in the match with you and I assume that he is going to help you by laying down so you can win the title?? You are my hero!! Hey man I don’t blame you ..well yeah I do..you have been doing this a long time so why would you try and get the Tap Out title like this? The “Queen” is not happy with you either! She is certainly dismayed that two of her country men are just vile and corrupt. You are one of the most accomplished wrestlers in APW and I just have to shake my head when I think of what the outcome of this match might be and that the Pillars might be involved? If you are able to defeat whoever wins the second level of the gauntlet all I can say is that I just hope the TJ doesn’t change his mind and decide at some point in the match that he wants this belt? I mean he has tried and tried and tried….and tried…and……tried? You know what? …after myself I would pick you too…you certainly have a strong foundation…a great support system!! “Pillar” support..foundation..get it? Hey you know a structure is only as strong as its weakest link? Strike has a belt…SalTal..has a belt..and now you and TJ have a shot at the Tap Out title and that means the Pillars will add another belt. So which one will you be..the one with the Tap Out title or the WEAK LINK?? My GIFT to you is a conscious.! Be a leader not a follower..well wait..you’ve always be a follower. This isn’t the first time you’ve joined up with a group to prop yourself up? Can’t stand your own two feet?…will you take your ball and go home if you don’t win? Hang up your boots…AGAIN?
To TJ:…Are you a good team player? I mean great every team needs a Kurt Rambis, a Danny Ainge a BJ Armstrong you know somebody to round out the 5 ..well in this instance 4. Somebody to go through the door first, be on point that my good sir is you! You are being manipulated and used for the good of the order. I hope you understand by being the final competitor to enter the ring that you will have the greatest advantage. Whomever you face will be drained and a shell of themselves and basically at your mercy. Will you take advantage of the benefit you were so LUCKILY afforded? Will you finally grab the title you have fought tooth and nail to win? Wait the million dollar question is? Will you lay down for Keaton Saint and prove your worth to the Four Pillars? Wait don’t answer that..I have an easier question? Where can I get a good Philly Cheese steak?….really my dad wants to know? They don’t put mayo on the sandwich do they?? Well you’ll have plenty of time thinking while you are on your back..doing work for Saint. My GIFT to you TJ a back bone…either way no one from Philly will be getting a “W” on Sunday..the Soul of Philly or Eagles!
Real talk all of you are more experienced, more accomplished, more connected…but not more talented…not hungrier..not smarter! As this is the season of giving and the Smooth One is as you can see very generous, so take your gifts and consider yourselves blessed that someone was thinking about you this season. All of you have serious things to consider? Mr. Farquhar: Do I still have it? I haven’t won since ONIH? What will my legacy be if I lose in the first match of the gauntlet to Yarmouth? Yarmouth: Can I beat Farquhar..finally? Do I have the stamina to wrestle 4 matches and win the Tap Out Title? Keaton Saint: Will TJ lay down for me? If he doesn’t can I beat him? What will that mean for the Pillars? Will I give up wrestling ..again? TJ: This is as close to the Tap Out Title as I can be without it be granted to me by the GM so do the Pillars really want me to lay down to prove my worth? Can we flip another coin..I am very lucky at that? Is Ted my Thunder Buddy? I even have some questions to ask myself? Will I always be better dressed than Farquhar? Can I really get Yarmouth laid? When Saint leaves do you think he’ll leave a forwarding address so we can send all of his fan mail? TJ: Does he like firm or soft..pillow top? Pillows..Goose or Duck?? These and many other questions will be answered as The SMOOTH ONE does his part to make CHRISTMAS CHAOS 2012 the Pay Per View of the year!!!
Pay Homage?…Please!!... You’ll get nothing and like it!!!
I have been invited to compete in the Tap Out Championship gauntlet match at Christmas Chaos. I will enter this match as the 3rd participant and I will be competing against either the current champion Julius Farquhar or Yarmouth. Who could ask for more? What a Christmas present!! Somebody up there likes me!! I get to compete for the title I have coveted since I arrived. The title that truly shows one’s ability in the wrestling ring and it’s not that the other titles don’t hold great prestige, but the Tap Out title is one where your opponent has to come to a place of failure and admit defeat. I am the least experienced person in this match and I was added after another wrestler dropped out. The pundits don’t think the rookie has a chance, but look at every other sport there is. RGIII – Kirk Cousins – Alfred Morris there is always one rookie that does the impossible…the improbable...the unexpected. Just because I am young in the ring doesn’t mean that I am not experienced in life and in this type of match I’ll have to draw on all of my skills, all of my abilities all of my knowledge to succeed.
I don’t have any friends in this match..I don’t have any enemies either. Yarmouth may want to get his hands on me considering I beat him last week in my debut on Asylum, but other than that no one really knows me and I’ll use that to my advantage. It is one thing to watch the Smooth One work, but another thing to be in the ring with him. The “Quintessentially English” Julius Farquhar and Keaton Saint about to get the gift that keeps on giving…until you say “I QUIT” that is!! The prognosticators say that Saint is the odds on favorite and that it is his time..he is the one to beat. I want to thank all of the naysayers and odds makers you for providing me some bulletin board material, but honestly real players don’t need the bulletin board fodder, because this year at Christmas Chaos I am playing Santa Claus and there is plenty of PAIN to go around. Oh and I like CHOCOLATE chip cookies don’t you leave any Oatmeal Raisin cookies out for me that is just going to make things worse for you!! SMOOTH SANTA likes Chocolate Chips! I have something special for all of the APW fans and something really special my opponents in the gauntlet match. I present…MY GIFT TO YOU…
To the Big Fella: I want to first say thank you! I know they put me in the gauntlet match against you and you didn’t have to sign the contract. Thank you for allowing me to be in the ring with you and I am very fortunate to have won, I would be crazy to think that I could get another victory in this match and it be over you and I am not crazy. I will be watching for you to make a strong showing and as the third participant I would consider it an honor to face you again. If you beat the current Tap Out Champion at Christmas Chaos we’ll get to do it again. I’ll have a slight advantage because you will have just finished competing and well a fresh Smooth One means bad things for anyone. I know you’ll give me all you have and I look forward to round two!! My gift to you Yar is that if you win…the only other match that will be not influenced by the Pillars oh and I owe you a night on the town..I am going to fix this whole “I hate women thing”!!!
In order to get ready to rule you first need to dress the part. You have to look like a CHAMPION and the “Smooth One” certainly knows how to do that. You Mr. Farquhar don’t! Saville Row! I think not!…everyone who is anyone knows that if you want a finely tailored suit.you get one designed by an Italian!! Armani, Dolce, Versace, Gucci, …ah Prada!! The fabric is the finest on earth..the cut is one that only a man with 44 in chest and 38 waist can appreciate I’ll have to watch my back against you not only have no taste in clothes, an obnoxious snob, but you’ll steal candy from a baby. You are a superior craftsman and technician of the finest order, but you getting dq’d is what has you in the opening match..not the mark of a technician. How can you claim royalty and be low down win at all costs slithering snake…you know the “Queen” is not happy with you!! No high tea, no crumpets, no scones and no visit to Buckingham Palace for you, however I can provide you with a tasty barrel of CHOCOLATE covered whip ass with a side of the last two Hostess chocolate cupcakes ever made. WAIT WAIT WAIT…I am sorry..I should be more respectful…more humble…you are the champion and have been for quite some time, but it’s been a month of Sundays since you’ve had your hand risen in victory. I should pay HOMAGE! Please let me apologize…LOL NOT!! Seriously champ..If you beat Yar ..I can’t wait to get in the ring with you and when I give you lesson in how we do it in the Good Ole USA…there are going to be brown stains all over your tighty whities and it won’t be chocolate!! My gift to you Mr. Farquhar is …well twofold! First, I will send you to a surgeon to get that stick removed from your bottom, because you always look like your top lips stinks… maybe it is halitosis?..I’ll send you to the dentist too!! Once you’ve has finished up with all of your medical appointments I will get you a expertly crafted suit from ITALY so he can finally see what it is to be impeccably dressed! You’ll need something to make you feel and look better since you won’t have your belt anymore. Last week I said that how do you become a Legend …you beat one..How do you become a champion? ..in this match if you beat Yar the first step for me to do that will be by beating you. I will technically be champion for that brief moment in time until Saint makes it into the ring..I’ll be champion…I like the way that sounds! I’ll use that small taste of glory..that small glimpse of what could be to fuel me and propel me on through the to the TAP OUT TITLE!! Oh and you can eat cake!!
To Mr. Keaton Saint: Well goddam!! I shouldn’t even be in the ring with you!! You have been everywhere…done it all and are back to do it again, because the first time wasn’t good enough!! Everyone thinks that you are going to be the next Tap Out Champion and that your time is now? I guess the rest of us shouldn’t bother to show up? I mean you’ve got one of your Four Pillars stable mates in the match with you and I assume that he is going to help you by laying down so you can win the title?? You are my hero!! Hey man I don’t blame you ..well yeah I do..you have been doing this a long time so why would you try and get the Tap Out title like this? The “Queen” is not happy with you either! She is certainly dismayed that two of her country men are just vile and corrupt. You are one of the most accomplished wrestlers in APW and I just have to shake my head when I think of what the outcome of this match might be and that the Pillars might be involved? If you are able to defeat whoever wins the second level of the gauntlet all I can say is that I just hope the TJ doesn’t change his mind and decide at some point in the match that he wants this belt? I mean he has tried and tried and tried….and tried…and……tried? You know what? …after myself I would pick you too…you certainly have a strong foundation…a great support system!! “Pillar” support..foundation..get it? Hey you know a structure is only as strong as its weakest link? Strike has a belt…SalTal..has a belt..and now you and TJ have a shot at the Tap Out title and that means the Pillars will add another belt. So which one will you be..the one with the Tap Out title or the WEAK LINK?? My GIFT to you is a conscious.! Be a leader not a follower..well wait..you’ve always be a follower. This isn’t the first time you’ve joined up with a group to prop yourself up? Can’t stand your own two feet?…will you take your ball and go home if you don’t win? Hang up your boots…AGAIN?
To TJ:…Are you a good team player? I mean great every team needs a Kurt Rambis, a Danny Ainge a BJ Armstrong you know somebody to round out the 5 ..well in this instance 4. Somebody to go through the door first, be on point that my good sir is you! You are being manipulated and used for the good of the order. I hope you understand by being the final competitor to enter the ring that you will have the greatest advantage. Whomever you face will be drained and a shell of themselves and basically at your mercy. Will you take advantage of the benefit you were so LUCKILY afforded? Will you finally grab the title you have fought tooth and nail to win? Wait the million dollar question is? Will you lay down for Keaton Saint and prove your worth to the Four Pillars? Wait don’t answer that..I have an easier question? Where can I get a good Philly Cheese steak?….really my dad wants to know? They don’t put mayo on the sandwich do they?? Well you’ll have plenty of time thinking while you are on your back..doing work for Saint. My GIFT to you TJ a back bone…either way no one from Philly will be getting a “W” on Sunday..the Soul of Philly or Eagles!
Real talk all of you are more experienced, more accomplished, more connected…but not more talented…not hungrier..not smarter! As this is the season of giving and the Smooth One is as you can see very generous, so take your gifts and consider yourselves blessed that someone was thinking about you this season. All of you have serious things to consider? Mr. Farquhar: Do I still have it? I haven’t won since ONIH? What will my legacy be if I lose in the first match of the gauntlet to Yarmouth? Yarmouth: Can I beat Farquhar..finally? Do I have the stamina to wrestle 4 matches and win the Tap Out Title? Keaton Saint: Will TJ lay down for me? If he doesn’t can I beat him? What will that mean for the Pillars? Will I give up wrestling ..again? TJ: This is as close to the Tap Out Title as I can be without it be granted to me by the GM so do the Pillars really want me to lay down to prove my worth? Can we flip another coin..I am very lucky at that? Is Ted my Thunder Buddy? I even have some questions to ask myself? Will I always be better dressed than Farquhar? Can I really get Yarmouth laid? When Saint leaves do you think he’ll leave a forwarding address so we can send all of his fan mail? TJ: Does he like firm or soft..pillow top? Pillows..Goose or Duck?? These and many other questions will be answered as The SMOOTH ONE does his part to make CHRISTMAS CHAOS 2012 the Pay Per View of the year!!!
Pay Homage?…Please!!... You’ll get nothing and like it!!!
