The Plan Extraction IX: Build God, Then We’ll Talk

[tuhoa]

The Plan Extraction IX: Build God, Then We’ll Talk

It's these substandard motels on the corner of 4th and Fremont Street.
Appealing only because they are just that un-appealing.
Any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering.

It felt so calm. At this point in time, everything in the world felt so right. Like the planets had aligned perfectly, and not a single care in the world could be given. But me, I knew better. Even though my plan was well on its way to completion, I knew that the worst was yet to come.

…it’s one thing to reach a goal, but it’s another to actually complete it.

So here we are, the proverbial “finish”. I have been talking about this for the better part of a few months, proclaiming that I would leave professional wrestling as a whole in a state of “shock and awe”, after I drop my “bombshell” on them. In my head, I know how big this could be. I’ve relived it over and over again in my mind, a vision in which everything works out perfectly.

…but then what?

Right now, it isn’t a matter of “how”, it’s more of a matter of “when”. As I stood atop the roof of a vacant motel in Manhattan, New York, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had envisioned things wrong. This whole time, I had envisioned a one on one match with whomever was champion at the time I got my shot. I had never seen a five-pack challenge coming my way. Nevertheless, it’s all the same, and I’ll press on as usual.

…besides, now I get the chance to put four poor souls through torture, instead of just one.

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The Finnish Phenom
Can you feel that? Take a look around, take in the scenery, feel the emotion through the air! The midnight wind moans in every direction, bringing forward the winds of change. Winds that will ultimately lead to a better tomorrow, hope for the sport of professional wrestling, in the name of Tuhoa Valo! It’s taken us a long time to get here, a long time to “cross the “T’s” and dot the “I’s”, but we’ve finally made it to the finish line!

…the rest, is up to me.

God have mercy on the four other souls that step into the ring to do battle against me, Saturday night at the super show! The pain and agony that their bodies will endure, the mental anguish that they will be forced to suffer through… All for the betterment of our sport. All for the benefit of Meltdown, and Action Packed Wrestling as a whole. But more than all of this… All of this, down to the very last bit, done in the name of the Finnish Phenom!

You’d almost think that I had planned all of this, too! As my voice echoed through the night sky, lightening came barreling down from the sky, and a storm began to wage war on the streets below. As rain poured from the heavens, it gave my promo a bit more “pizzazz”, something that you could plan… Yet I have the talent to luck into.

The Finnish Phenom
I indeed understand that I’m not going into battle against JUST Logan Alexander, I know that there are three others involved. To me, that just means I have the opportunity to bring even more pain, more punishment, and more life altering ailments to the forefront. It’s what I do, I enjoy inflicting pain on others. And to the four foes that I must vanquish in the coming days, I beg of you, turn away. Turn your backs, and walk as fast and as far away as you can, WHILE you still can. Because this match was meant for only one person to win. This match… It was made for Tuhoa Valo to win.

Now, when the night is over, when Tuhoa Valo is your North American Champion… Don’t be the type to show sympathy towards yourselves. Quite frankly, I’ll be the one who told you what you should have done. I know you’re not going to listen to me. I mean, who would pass up a shot at the North American Championship? But the simple fact of the matter, is that you should. Because since I’ve came back… I mean, since I’ve been in Action Packed Wrestling, I’ve told you what I was going to do, and then I go out and do it. I’ve given you warning, yet I’m still the one standing at the end of the day! That says nothing for any talent on Meltdown, but it says a whole hell of a lot about Tuhoa Valo! It means that I’m the type of person that simply can’t be stopped! So in this match, who do you honestly think the favorite is?

As the rain continued to pelt down from the night sky, I took this opportunity to show some visual aid. But to do that, we had to go inside. I walked back into the hotel from the roof latch, as the cameras followed behind me. Down the stairs and to the right, was a well-lit room that I had prepared for this promo. A promo that could very-well convince the wrestling world that I was the dominant force in this match. A promo that could reach inside the minds of all other competitors involved, and leave them wondering…

…”Do I really stand a chance against this guy?”

The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde.
And the habit of decomposing right before your very eyes.
Along with the people inside. What a wonderful caricature of intimacy!

I sat down at the desk I had prepared, grabbing a photo from the table. I had them set in a specific order, and order of importance if you will. As I set out on this verbal journey, I knew that my job was to convince the world why I should be the North American Champion.

…but do I really need to? It should already be obvious.

As I turned the photo of Donald Deruty around to show the camera, I couldn’t help but feel tired of having run-ins with this guy. He’s had three chances, and all three times, he’s came up short.

[/i]

The Finnish Phenom
First things first… Why is this guy even in the match? You know, I find it quite hard to believe that someone can lose so much, and still gain ground. Is that what Action Packed Wrestling is all about? We give guys who time after time prove to be losers, title shots?!?! I mean, I continue to expose Donny boy over and over again, to be the amateur that he is… Yet he still continues to have success handed to him? Makes no sense, if you ask me. Nevertheless, I’ll continue to make you look like an amateur, Donald! I’ll continue to do so, because this is the way I see it… Management likes you so much, that even though you’re a proven loser, they’re still going to hand you anything you want on a silver platter. Thus, they have made it my personal goal to end your Action Packed Wrestling career!

While guys and girls like myself continue to bust our asses, management continues to give excuses and hand outs. Well, not on my watch! Donald Deruty, I have made it my personal responsibility to change this company! You see, when I first got here, I claimed that it was about changing the SPORT… But really, behind it all, it was about exposing and changing the politics of this business! Because guys like you… While you have “the look”, and could very-well be marketable… You need to take a step back into the gym that management found you from, and never come back to my neck of the woods, EVER AGAIN! Tuhoa Valo refuses to sit back, beat you time after time, and still have to claw my way to the top, while it’s being handed to you! WHEN IS ENOUGH EVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH!?!?

Well, I’ve had it, and now it’s time to finish this small piece of business! Because in this match, all you are is an “also ran” participant! While management might be praying for you to win… You know as well as I do that you stand about a snowballs chance in hell, of winning that North American Championship! Like I said, YOU’RE A LOSER! You can’t beat me, nor will you ever! If anything, you’re the person I worry about the least in this match! I’ve beaten you like a red-headed stepchild! I’ve exposed you, and I’m pretty sure that I’ve given you brain damage. So much so, that you actually think you stand a chance in this match. Well, newsflash… I’m gunning for you first, and I’ll make sure that you don’t even make it to the finish! Why? BECAUSE I CAN! Furthermore, because I’ve done it before, more than once.

I tossed the picture of Donald Deruty away, sick of looking at his pretty boy face. The next picture I picked up, was Amy Zing… A woman who undoubtedly deserves this match, just as much as Donny boy does.

…because she doesn’t deserve it at all.

The Finnish Phenom
By far, the most non-threatening woman in this match. And this match features three women, if you count Donald Deruty! Nevertheless, Amy Zing… What makes you think that you even belong in the same ring with the Finnish Phenom? Because the truth is, you don’t! You should be carrying my bags, making me sandwiches, and ensuring that my “needs outside of this business” have been taken care of. I mean, lets face it… You’re no Kaylyn Evans. You’re no Sally Talfourd. Hell, you’re not even Jason Kash, whom many believe is the best female in the business. The bottom line is, you’re a nobody! Because that’s just it, you’re a BODY. Nothing more than eye candy, whom was brought in on the Meltdown roster to show a little skin. You keep ratings at a peak, but you have no talent.

I believe Mr. Turner said it best, when he told you to stay out of my way. Which begs the question, why are you standing in my way? Turner told you that you’d get hurt, that I’d end your career for standing in my path, yet you refused to listen. Fine with me, it’s like I said earlier… You’re just another person that I will enjoy inflicting pain upon. So when we step into the ring and do battle for the North American Championship, I want you to remember that I had already given you fair warning. But I’m pretty much certain that Kaylyn has it out for you. I’m sure that Ms. Evans is going to enjoy ripping you limb from limb. Should I let her? Should I ignore the fact that you’re in this match, and let Kaylyn take you apart? Maybe I should. But then again… Maybe I should just do what I intend on doing, and beat the hell out of everyone. That way, EVERYBODY knows who the real God of the Meltdown roster is!

Zinger… This match was never intended for you to win. Hell, like I said, it was only intended for ME to win! It’s been set in stone, ever since I came to Meltdown! Tuhoa Valo has been champion since his debut, regardless of who the champion is! It’s just been a matter of time, and the time has come! For Christmas, I receive the North American Championship!

I spat on the picture, before tossing it out of sight. The next picture I picked up, was a picture of a person that I truly admire. She’s a woman amongst little girls, a true competitor.

…but she’s also another person that will end up hurt, should she pose a threat to my North American Championship!

The Finnish Phenom
Kaylyn… Last week, it was a test. A test of what? Well, you’ll find that out soon enough! But as for right now, Kaylyn… You and I stand in the same ring with one another, with the same goal in mind! No, we wont be tag team partners this week, we’ll be enemies. And while it might pain me a bit to do so, I will show you no remorse! Truth be told, I’m going to show you about as much humanity and compassion, as everybody else in this match. Which means, I’ll show you nothing at all! Nothing but pain and punishment, nothing but brute force and a will to become the champion! So if you need a little help, if you need me to spell it out for you Kaylyn… You need to keep your pretty little ass out of my way!

Last week, you proved to me that you can “go” with the best of them. Not because we took out Speedy in bed and Donny boy, but because of the look in your eyes while we were beating their asses! I believe in you, and dammit, I’d go to bat for you any day of the week! However, that doesn’t change the fact that you stand in my way of becoming the North American Champion! Kaylyn, trust me… You want me to win this match. Regardless of the way things look, regardless of how bad you want that title. Trust me, you want me to win more, that you want to win. You might not understand things right now, but in due time, you’ll understand wholeheartedly EXACTLY what I’m saying to you right this very second. Trust me, you want Tuhoa Valo to be your next North American Champion.

But I know you, babe… You’re not going to listen to me. And I’ve been given direct orders to do whatever I have to do to you, to ensure that I walk out of the Supershow as the victor, and you leave the Supershow a loser. But have no fear, my dear.

…because in due time, you’ll find out that your defeat at the Supershow, was actually your victory at the Supershow.

To show her no disrespect, I placed Kaylyns photo back down on the desk, picking up the last photo on the table. And there he was, staring me right in the face… The guy who “made me tap out”, the North American Champion, Logan Alexander.

…a paper champion at best.

The Finnish Phenom
Logan, I saved you for last. Reason being, we have a lot of unfinished business. You see, you became the number one contender in a match that you never won! A premature ejaculation, became a premature baby… Then he became a referee who prematurely said that I tapped out. Well, I have a newsflash for you…

…I…NEVER…TAPPED…OUT!

Unjustly, you won that North American Championship, in a title match that should have been mine! You’re a thief, Logan! You stole our match for the number one contendership, and then you stole my title! Well, it all comes back around, you son of a bitch! Because now, I get my chance to steal that title from you! And when I do just that Logan, you then become just an afterthought… A shell of the former champion that you were, and the man that you used to be! Face it, the entire time you’ve been holding that title, I’ve said all along that you were just holding it for me. And at the Supershow, I’ll prove my point, by walking out as the APW North American Champion, and becoming the first champion that no one will be able to defeat!

Finally, I have my shot to hold that belt, and I’m going to take it by any means necessary. I have it on good authority that you’re in fairly bad shape, after you allowed that curtain jerker Amy Zing to take you to the limit, last Meltdown. I mean, what kind of champion are you, if AMY ZING can take you to your breaking point?!?! AMY ZING!?!? She’s not even good enough to open the show in a dark match, let alone face the North American Champion! Therefore, what does that say about you, Logan? Hell, if it weren’t for Kane, Black, and Kaylyn Evans, she probably WOULD have beaten you! And the truth be told, there’s really only one logical explanation for it.

…you’re not a real champion, you’re just a guy who got lucky, because President Jeff is too cheap to give his referees vision insurance!

I ripped the picture of our paper champion up, and tossed it away, as it flew into small pieces around me.

The Finnish Phenom
Tis the season of giving, however, and I am in a giving mood. You see, this bombshell that I have to drop, will be a present to all invested in Action Packed Wrestling in one way or another. But to do so, I must win the North American Championship. You see, Logan… I once told you that I was the real Chaos of APW. Tuhoa in translation DOES mean Chaos, and that’s what I’m going to bring to the Supershow. But instead of calling myself Chaos, I must prove a point. Earlier, I called myself the “God of the Meltdown roster”, and I wasn’t kidding. You see, I own your souls! In this match, I own it all!

We’re in the Christmas season, celebrating the birth of the son of God, Jesus Christ! And while Jesus was actually said to be born in summer months, I’ll go ahead and play along with it. I’ll play along, by delivering good tidings to you and your kin, by giving you and extended Christmas vacation! And to those who don’t believe, you indeed do have a God. God was built in the form of a professional wrestler. And in this Christmas season, we celebrate not his birth, but his victory of becoming the APW North American Champion!