Post by Shadow on Dec 22, 2012 2:08:17 GMT -4
[glow=green,9,200]NOW...[/glow]
“What is love. Oh baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more!”
The scene opens on the front of the black Ford Raptor with a custom green flame grill. The street lights reflect off the waxed hood as the camera pans up and shows Slade Craven sitting in the passenger seat while Shadow sits in the driver’s seat. They are wearing satin suits: Slade’s is green, Shadow’s is purple. Yes Haddaway’s ‘What is Love’ is playing. Both men bob their head to the beat just like the movie.
“Dude this song rocks.” Craven says as he points to the dash.
“You sure banging your head like this is good for your brain?” Shadow asks a little worried.
“Yeah, it gets the blood flowing.”
“Right,” Shadow says skeptically.
They continue down the road banging their heads to the song until it finally ends and Slade turns down the XM satellite radio.
“No more tunes?”
“For a minute man, I wanted to talk to you about that snake Delikado.”
“Yeah we are pulling the big switch this week on Meltdown.”
Shadow is referring to the fact that Slade wrestled Delikado at Shockwave for a shot at the Overdrive title, the match didn’t go very well for him. Although, Shadow had been fairing a bit better in the ring than his old tag team partner.
“You got to be careful with that guy. He’s a loose cannon. Got a few short circuits in the old cerebral implants, if you know what I’m saying.”
“I hear you Slade,” Shadow responds. “This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve ran down Delikado before the guy is nothing more than a psychopath. You know how I deal with those assholes. I bury them.”
Shadow smirks.
“You really think you have this in the bag Shadow?”
“Yeah, Why should I sweat a man I dropped twice?”
“Shadow man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you do remember what happened last week? Mark Mania saved your ass.”
“That was uncalled for Slade.”
“No, it was necessary. You got lucky Shadow. You could have lost the match.”
“Delikado is nothing to me Slade. You may have had an issue with him but I still put him down twice.”
“You’re more delusional than I am.”
“Okay, Delikado didn’t pull his kick. He knocked me out, the guy had to go cheap to attempt the win but we all knew Mark Mania was going to screw Delikado over. He should have seen it coming.”
“Shadow,” Slade says to the big guy. “Wake up man, you actually have a credible threat awaiting you in Buffalo and you’re shrugging it off like it means jack squat.”
“Because that’s all Delikado is,” Shadow stresses. “I’ve beaten him...”
“In tag matches,” Craven cuts in.
“So what? You and I both know tag matches have not been our best type of match this past year. My single streak is still going strong. There is no way I am letting someone like Delikado stop that.”
“Pride has always been you greatest sin.”
“No I think it’s wrath.”
Shadow looks over at Slade who doesn’t seem amused. Shadow still chuckles as he thinks back to everyone he’s torn through in the past year.
“Look man, we’re going back to Meltdown too. Who can contest that Meltdown is my personal stomping ground, huh? Nobody. There isn’t a man who stood toe to toe with me on Meltdown.”
“Those were rookies Shadow, stop being so vain.” Craven’s voice is exacerbated. “Think about the future.”
Shadow does a double take he could have sworn Slade’s eyes were blue when he said that.”
“What are you getting at?” Shadow asks.
“You want to be Delikado you have to let go of your pride. Just go out there and beat his ass. Remember what you did to that rookie who made one Overdrive appearance?”
“Oh! Whats his name, yeah I remember him. I’m glad you still keep up.”
“Dude, APW sponsored that mental hospital, most if the time they were playing reruns of old APW shows. I never missed a promo or a match.”
Slade’s tone is hard to pinpoint.
“So you want me to just out and out destroy Delikado, fine. Not a problem.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Coming from you I believe that.”
Shadow’s compliment to Slade about not being able to be destroyed is not received as one. But Slade doesn’t say anything about it.
“Listen Slade,” Shadow starts to say. “Delikado may be a lot of things, but to me he’s just another victim waiting to become a statistic. The man can’t honestly believe he wan stand in that ring and beat me in a fair fight.”
“That’s where you’re letting your vanity get the better of you. The match may be booked as a straight match but you really think he will play by the rules?”
“That’s why you have to have an ace in the hole. You’ll be there to monitor things. He tries to pull something shady you know to step in. If Evan Envi decides to intervene you’re cut him off at the pass. You got to have people you can trust. Working with that German guy reminded me of that. Slade, you shouldn’t worry so much. I appreciate your concern but Delikado is just another pile of cat shit I stepped in. I plan to wipe his residue from my boot before I get in the arena. He doesn’t belong in the ring with true hearts like you or I. He should be outside with the rest of the fecal matter. So I welcome the opportunity to obliterate Delikado. Hell I relish it. He isn’t my first choice but that’ doesn’t matter. Going through him puts me one step closer to my goal. Let Delikado come at me, let that Cuban creep throw down and try to take on the big dog. I’ll eat that Chihuahua whole.”
“Vanity was always the most entertaining sin.” Slade mutters to himself.
The car ride had started so much more pleasant. Now the two best friends were bickering like an old married couple. It really was just like old times.
“Slade, you should focus on Stefan Raab and if you tell me you don’t have to then you’re a hypocrite.”
“Oh I’m aware who I am facing this week. You on the other hand think this is just walking your dog through the park only to find that the dog got loose and you’re just dragging around a leash. Delikado is dangerous do not turn your back on him and do not give him an inch. He may be a lying cheating double dealing dick-ass but he is a violent homicidal madman who only wants showers of praise.”
“He thinks the world owes him something.”
“No, you owe him something. “
“Only thing I owe that low life is a kick to the face.”
“You have no clue what you’re getting into.” Slade starts to say, “And no freaking idea what’s just over the horizon. You’re driving blind, Shadow”
“No, I’m driving to Buffalo.” Shadow says with a laugh. Slade is not amused.
Shadow looks over at Craven. The big man sighs.
“Fine I’ll keep my guard up. You just watch my back.”
“Don’t worry,” Slade simply says. “I will.”
Shadow glances back over again his eyes played tricks on him. At least that’s what he thought.
Delikado you son of a bitch, you couldn’t fight like a man? Let me tell you something. You want to kick someone full force in the face, I will show you the real way to do it. I plan on repaying the favor asshole. You will learn firsthand what happens to people when I deliver the big boot right to face.
Dude we’ve been doing this round and round for the past few weeks now and I am so sick of playing ring around the rip off with you and your butt buddy. You’re in my house now son. I ran Meltdown and for one night only I will be returning to wreak havoc for the good people of Buffalo.
You’ve spent months running your mouth talking about how you plan to be the man to what no one has ever done before, destroy Shadow. Shut the fuck up JabberJaw no one wants to listen to you. If I wanted to hear you talk, I would shove my hand up your ass and work your mouth like a Muppet.
I’m sick of having to deal with half assed hapless losers who don’t deserve a moment of my time. Put me in the ring with a real challenger, I would much rather be bust Kurt Nobel again or throwing down against Level One. Seeing as your boyfriend didn’t have the balls to accept my offer for a handicap match and decided to send you to fight his battle for him, fine: I’ll make you an example out of you on Meltdown, just like I did every other jackass jobber I jettisoned from APW.
And what the hell is up with everyone saying they are “The Future of APW?” Both you and brokeback boyfriend seem to think that you will erase the great past of APW; I refuse to let that happen. I’ve fought and bled for this company through two separate decades and now I have to stomach another sociopathic pitbull that needs to be put down.
Delikado I know I’ve made a lot of jokes about you being gay. Seriously, think about it.
Christ.
Delikado when I sift through the garbage you call trash talk I am left with one thing to say. Make some freaking since. You’re more bat shit crazy than Slade Craven. How the hell a man like you ever became Overdrive champion makes no sense to me. I remember when being a champion meant being bad ass. Instead all you have to is kiss ass. You made yourself a few powerful friends and had them hand you everything.
Just like your backward ass home country did for you years ago. You Cubans and your desire for a Socialistic Society where no one has to earn anything makes hard working red blooded Americans like myself really pissed off.
Last time I was this pissed off I kicked the crap out of the entire Meltdown roster. Instead I plan to channel all that seething hatred into one swift solid ass kicking for you. Merry Freaking Christmas you Cuban cocksucker.
Now let’s talk about my New Year’s Resolution. To not have to deal with second rate side show freaks like Delikado. People who take this business like a joke. I worked my ass off all year and this is what I have to show for it. Dealing with Delikado, APW’s last resort.
I still can’t wrap my mind around how you earned your slot on Overdrive. I mean since I got to APW I watched you argue with Chris Hart over eight dollars and fifty cents, flunk out of Test for The Best, tap like the bitch you are to Kurt Noble get handed the Overdrive title, piss that away and then lose your ass in the big Tag team title tournament. You’re a worthless excuse for a megastar and that pisses me off.
You call me a bitch, you delusional dumbass you have no idea what a real fight is. You spend ninety percent of the time running from a challenge and now you’re stuck in the ring with me. Please wear a diaper I don’t want you pissing yourself when the fear finally sets in.
That’s right retard, I can smell the fear. You try to mask it with those Honduran Cigars (because you’re too poor to afford a real Cuban) and your nasty body odor but you know you’re afraid. You can lie to everyone, you lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me. You’re just a mouse, fleeing from the lion that is hunting you.
I know I shouldn’t play with my food, but I like my meat sweetened with fear. It makes the victory taste so much better. Seeing as my company Christmas bonus was facing you I think I deserve a decent Christmas dinner. While Cuba doesn’t have much it does produce some really good food. Hey don’t think I left you out either, I made something for you to munch on too.
We Americans really are a caring country. A true American contributes to charity and you are a charity case if I ever seen one. So your Christmas dinner, seeing as you’re used to eating crap, I got you some crow. If you don’t like that, I’ll force feed you your own words.
On that note, how dare you sully Christmas with that piss poor excuse for a rhyme. I may not be the musical wordsmith my old partner is, but I I could at least come up with something worth reading to children.
But as everyone knows, I’m not kid friendly. Kids I mean that; do NOT emulate me. I’m violent, hostile and I don’t play well with others. Delikado you do not deserve to celebrate Christmas, everyone knows that Santa skips of Cuba. Cuba’s been a no fly zone for years. But I can see why you would love the idea of a guy giving away free things.
Delikado tries to be the big hero after a year of pissing on APW’s prestige and I’m the scrooge? Bah humbug.
Is that what it means to be a Megastar now? You run around hiring hookers to be in your crappy videos for your half assed underground television studio and you’re a big star. What happened to real wrestlers? People who possessed heart.
Let me guess, now you’ve got some sick fetish and want to eat my heart or some other kind of rambling rant that doesn’t make any freaking sense.
Delikado I’m sure you’ve invested every dime into your career so here’s another bit of charity. Have another dime, get another job.
You going to run me out of APW? How the hell you plan on doing that? Please explain. I am all ears. I like to think of this place as Lou’s Basement in “Fight Club.” I really like it here. I think I could stay here a good long while. Instead nothing would please me more than bouncing your bitch ass out of my ring and back to the unemployment line with the rest of your mooching mocha muchachos.
Hey don’t feel bad Delikado. You still got a boyfriend who can pay your way. And if you really need a job you can go back to mowing lawns for eight fifty. I see now why you fought tooth and nail against Christ Hart for it. Tell me something. Did you save it? Hah Rhetorical question retard, you probably blew it on booze you drunk.
Actually I’m sure you did. Just as I’m sure you’re sitting at a bar right now telling everyone how you plan on beating the big bad Shadow tonight on Meltdown. Son you got a rude awakening coming your way in a few hours. How long do you think you can last one on one with me? Ten minutes, five?
It’s Last Call Deli, get your sloppy ass in a taxi cab and get the hell to the arena. Let’s finish this “grudge match” so I can move on to bigger and better things. Maybe when I am through with you your lesbian lover will finally nut up and accept my challenge. Here I’ll even toss in a little more American charity and re-extend the offer for a handicap match. Lord knows that when this is over you’ll be parking in a handicap spot for a while. Although I am probably not wrong in thinking you do it anyway. You dick.
Delikado I not sorry it had to come to this. It’s people like you who make this business shit. You don’t take it seriously and you think you’re the best. You’re nothing but the same sack of shit I threw around on Meltdown while I was there before: just a bigger ego. I’m cool with that; makes you an easier target. Go ahead and get drunk too, I’m sure you’re doing it to help numb the pain. While you chugging that bottle of champagne, do us all a favor and take a bottle of pills. Go ahead and snuff yourself out save me the trouble for it.
Hey if you do that people may actually thank you and really mean it. Could be the first good thing that Ciba ever did. That would make you a hero. Hah, like you have the balls to be anything of a hero. No you’re just a second rate nobody who needs his Evan Envi to make his life complete. To goddamn bad Delikado. He’s off making something of himself, well trying to. What do you have to show for all your so called hard work this year? The same thing you’ll have at the end of the night another loss to heap onto your already piss poor pile of accomplishments. Good for you ya joke.
Have another bottle of champagne Deli, maybe it will help you forget all your missteps and impending misfortune. Not likely. No I think you’re just going to show up and make a big ass out of yourself like you do every night you get in the ring. You don’t deserve to be on Overdrive, you don’t deserve to be on Meltdown, you don’t deserve to be in APW. You’re a disgrace Delikado and I think you know it. So lie to yourself and keep lying. Lie right up to that three count. Then when it’s finally over and the truth sets in you’ll see you never had a chance. That’s why your boyfriend threw you to the big dog. Like you he’s living on borrowed time and Delikado your time is up.
