Post by The Smooth One on Dec 22, 2012 19:14:12 GMT -4
[glow=red,2,300]The Most Magical Time of the Year!!![/glow]
The historic Madison Square Garden…Home of the New York Knicks. The place in where the New York Rangers hoisted the Stanley Cup. The place where Ali-Frazier one was held and “Smokin” Joe Frazier the pride of Philadelphia (and the only thing good to come out of the state Those Commonwealth states are out of control) defeated the then unbeaten Muhammad Ali in a stunning upset…some would say..He put on a magical performance. MSG is a place where the out of the ordinary happens and my victory in the Tap Out Gauntlet at APW most anticipated event of the year CHRISTMAS CHAOS will add to the historic lore of the venue.
The Smooth One arrives in NYC and has checked into the Hilton in the fashion district and much to his dismay his father is already in his room!!!
Hey Son…Where have you been? I have been waiting for you for hours?
Well check in time is at 3 and wait…How did you get into my room? How did you know where I was staying? I don’t remember telling you?
(All of a sudden a camera pokes itself into the face of the Smooth One)
What the What the…Who are you?? (moving the lens from my face)
Oh son he is one of the camera men from the show!
I don’t care who he is ..he needs to get that camera out of my face and get the fat one out of the mini bar!! That toblerone is like 18.00 dollars.
Fat Camera Man: This is the season for giving! (munch munch)
I am going to give you a fat lip ya big dummy! Come on Dad how are you going to let these dudes do this to my room and you still didn’t tell me how you know where I was staying?
Oh son the Real House Husbands of Hollywood know everything..they are like TMZ they are everywhere…Look they got me some naked pictures of Kim Kardashian!!
I don’t need to see those..I have some of those myself that I took personally! She’s not all that!
You say what you want son…she junked up..she got a boss 98…a fine DOO DOO MAKER!!
Damn Dad!! you nasty! You keep your doo doo makers to yourself! How did they let you into my room with all of these camera clowns?
Son..you know you not the only SMOOTH ONE in this family.
Yeah ..you keep telling me!! Ya’ll gotta get out of here I need to get some rest I have a big match tomorrow!
Yeah I know you are in the Tap Out Gauntlet at Christmas Chaos in Madison Square Garden!! This is a big deal son…a huge event…a historic venue..This is the big stage son…like the Empire Strikes Back! Are you sure you can handle it.
UGGHH..it all comes back to the trilogy doesn’t it? Am I ready…I am super ready!! I am ready to make Christmas Chaos mine! I have a special treat in store for the APW fans and a few surprises for my opponents as well.
I was reading the card…you are facing the Wookie right?
First, pops his name is Yarmouth…
Yuckmouth?
No, Yarmouth and he is quite the competitor. He is one tough SOB and
he also most took me out two weeks ago and I may or may not face him. He has to beat the “Quintessentially English” Julius Farquhar first, if not I face him instead.
Oh the stuffy British guy that cannot dress that always looks like his breath stinks with the stick up his rear?
You hit that one right one the head….but not to make light of him ..he is a skilled technician and well push come to shove he’ll bust your skull open and then feed you Yorkshire pudding!! Which not actually a pudding..it makes no sense…kind of like Commonwealth States!!
You better watch out for him…You’ve seen V for Vendetta before haven’t you?
Yeah, but what’s that got to do with anything?
I don’t know…I just it was a good movie.
Umm..ok?? Farquhar has been the champ for the last few months and although he hasn't gotten a win in a month of Sundays his is still very dangerous. He certainly doesn’t think I belong in the ring with him. I don’t think he remembers when he was the fresh face on the roster, trying to get the push and possibly being put in a match where maybe he might have been a little over matched. I actually would love to face Farquhar first…He is going to have to prove to me that I don’t belong and I don’t think he can do it. He would be a great challenge for me and a fine name to add to my resume as the ascension continues.
So if you beat Yorkshire Pudding? What’s next?
Keaton Saint would be next! He’s a Pillar.
A what?
A Pillar?
What the Hell does that mean?
He is in a faction called the FOUR PILLARS?
That’s a dumb name!
LOL. Well I if you consider any structure is support by something…it has to be strong, durable and able to withstand anything that comes at it…so in retrospect…it’s a good name.
Well I guess…I don’t like it.
LOL, well he is a one of the Pillars and he is probably the odds on favorite to win this whole match?
Why do you say that?
Well he is one of the most talented and experienced players on the APW roster and he has done it all. All of the buzz going around is saying that he is the one…and that this will be is shining moment. He is a stuffy Brit too.
Well, Son you cannot let him defeat you …(the cameras pan in on Papa Smooth’s face) I will not allow it…this feels like Darth Vader on Cloud City all over again (Papa Smooth begins to weep)
Dad..what’s wrong?
*shhhhh* I am doing this for the show…they love crying!
You know what? I am trying to prepare a strategy here!!
Sorry...Go ahead ..I am listening.
When I make it past the winner of Yar and Yorkie and face Saint…he’ll have a bit of advantage because I will have already competed once and I know that he has seen everything. I think he is taking me lightly and the match lightly. I think that the pundits are wrong and that he is not the odds on favorite. I don’t think he wants it and is looking for a way out and I am going to give it to him… SMOOTHED OUT!!!
Smoothed Out?
Yeah it is one of my submissions holds. Do you want me to show you?
No..No No…not on me…umm put in on the chubby camera man!
Hey you !!
(the chubby camera man turns and points to himself)
Yes you!!
(the camera man starts to run!!!)
All hell nah!! ( The Smooth One begins to give chase…but this not a long chase at all)
Chubby Camera man: ..breathing heavy.. No Wait!!
This won’t hurt a bit!! Dad come out in the hall!!
Wait a minute son ..let me get my phone..I am going to put this on Twitter #PAIN!
See first you grab him around the neck like this (gurgle) and you torque his back like so..(ARRGH) He is a little heavy…you need to lay off the toblerone (blurple..snort ..fart) and next thing you know…this happens.
PLEASE STOP…I QUIT!! I WONT EAT ANYMORE CANDY..I PROMISE..I WILL GO VEGETARIAN, VEGAN, GLUTEN FREE, PRESCATARIAN?
What did he say about my MAMA??
He didn’t say anything about grandma…He said Prescatarian?
Did you make that man switch religions??
LOL..NO!
Did you just have that man make up a word?
No Prescatarians eat no other animal flesh other than fish?
Why do you know this?
I used to date this chick that was one.
What happened to her?
LOL, I can be with a woman that doesn’t eat MEAT!!
LOL…that’s my boy!!
Smooth motions to the prone camera man…
Hey chubby! Get up!…you are going to get us put out of the hotel…somebody call him a chiropractor!
Hey Son..I like the Smoothed Out move I am going to try it on the gardener when we get back to Cali!! So after you beat Saint…you face TJ “The Soul of Philly” I like his name son….what are you going to do with him?
Well you know he is a Pillar too?
Wow..you have to beat two of the Pillars to become Tap Out Champ?
Indeed I do father..indeed I do.
TJ ..the Man Beast…6’11 ..285lbs that’s a lot of got damn cheese steaks and well he’s a little upset with me.
Why?
Because I spoke poorly of the Eagles.
The Philadelphia Eagles ..the only team in the NFC east that has never won a super bowl?
That would be the team!
You should be mad at him for being and Eagle fan. They are actually an insult to a majestic bird like the Eagle. The symbol of the fine United States of America…I think pigeon or finch is a better fit?
The Philadelphia Finches….I like it! !
(Father and son..share a chuckle)
He is the last participant in the match and has the most advantage of any one in the match. He’d be tough to beat one on one let alone after wrestling two other matches against top flight talent. He is in a great position to finally strap the Tap Out Title around his waist.
Wow..son you sound almost like you have already lost.
It’s not that…I mean I am not that obtuse to know that this is almost an impossible task. I mean wrestling 3 men in one night..two of them fresh…this is crazy? The courtroom was never this crazy.
I understand son..you know I have been watching you these past few months and I have watched you grow and mature as a wrestler. I thought your were out of your freaking mind when you decided to do this, but now I see that this what you were born to do and you can do this…you can become Tap Out Champion at Christmas Chaos in Madison Square Garden..if you do that you’ll make me so proud.
(Papa Smooth begins to weep again)
For the show?
No son these tears are real…besides if you win..they’ll renew my contract for another year!!
Get out of my room!
Wait…can I least order a sandwich?
OOOh No…OUT!
This is no way to treat your father? What your mother think?
I wonder what she was thinking when she took up with your crazy behind!!
She liked MEAT!
Ah Hell……….
Scene
The Smooth Journal: The Gift (a little ditty for the Tap Out Gauntlet)
I know that the APW fans are looking forward to Tap OUT Gauntlet match and none of its participants will be in a giving mood. There will be no brightly wrapped packages with bows and curly string sitting quietly under the tree just waiting to be opened. No gift bags, no stockings or delivery men happily coming to the door to deliver Tap Out Titles. This is one gift that you’ll have to earn and by no means is this a joyous trip through a wintery wonderland.
Christmas Chaos! MSG...the BIG APPLE is the place and the SMOOTH ONE is planning to put on a tremendous show for all in attendance and those watching at home! Watch the MAGIC HAPPEN!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your NEW TAP OUT CHAMPION William D. Williams Jr.
The historic Madison Square Garden…Home of the New York Knicks. The place in where the New York Rangers hoisted the Stanley Cup. The place where Ali-Frazier one was held and “Smokin” Joe Frazier the pride of Philadelphia (and the only thing good to come out of the state Those Commonwealth states are out of control) defeated the then unbeaten Muhammad Ali in a stunning upset…some would say..He put on a magical performance. MSG is a place where the out of the ordinary happens and my victory in the Tap Out Gauntlet at APW most anticipated event of the year CHRISTMAS CHAOS will add to the historic lore of the venue.
The Smooth One arrives in NYC and has checked into the Hilton in the fashion district and much to his dismay his father is already in his room!!!
Hey Son…Where have you been? I have been waiting for you for hours?
Well check in time is at 3 and wait…How did you get into my room? How did you know where I was staying? I don’t remember telling you?
(All of a sudden a camera pokes itself into the face of the Smooth One)
What the What the…Who are you?? (moving the lens from my face)
Oh son he is one of the camera men from the show!
I don’t care who he is ..he needs to get that camera out of my face and get the fat one out of the mini bar!! That toblerone is like 18.00 dollars.
Fat Camera Man: This is the season for giving! (munch munch)
I am going to give you a fat lip ya big dummy! Come on Dad how are you going to let these dudes do this to my room and you still didn’t tell me how you know where I was staying?
Oh son the Real House Husbands of Hollywood know everything..they are like TMZ they are everywhere…Look they got me some naked pictures of Kim Kardashian!!
I don’t need to see those..I have some of those myself that I took personally! She’s not all that!
You say what you want son…she junked up..she got a boss 98…a fine DOO DOO MAKER!!
Damn Dad!! you nasty! You keep your doo doo makers to yourself! How did they let you into my room with all of these camera clowns?
Son..you know you not the only SMOOTH ONE in this family.
Yeah ..you keep telling me!! Ya’ll gotta get out of here I need to get some rest I have a big match tomorrow!
Yeah I know you are in the Tap Out Gauntlet at Christmas Chaos in Madison Square Garden!! This is a big deal son…a huge event…a historic venue..This is the big stage son…like the Empire Strikes Back! Are you sure you can handle it.
UGGHH..it all comes back to the trilogy doesn’t it? Am I ready…I am super ready!! I am ready to make Christmas Chaos mine! I have a special treat in store for the APW fans and a few surprises for my opponents as well.
I was reading the card…you are facing the Wookie right?
First, pops his name is Yarmouth…
Yuckmouth?
No, Yarmouth and he is quite the competitor. He is one tough SOB and
he also most took me out two weeks ago and I may or may not face him. He has to beat the “Quintessentially English” Julius Farquhar first, if not I face him instead.
Oh the stuffy British guy that cannot dress that always looks like his breath stinks with the stick up his rear?
You hit that one right one the head….but not to make light of him ..he is a skilled technician and well push come to shove he’ll bust your skull open and then feed you Yorkshire pudding!! Which not actually a pudding..it makes no sense…kind of like Commonwealth States!!
You better watch out for him…You’ve seen V for Vendetta before haven’t you?
Yeah, but what’s that got to do with anything?
I don’t know…I just it was a good movie.
Umm..ok?? Farquhar has been the champ for the last few months and although he hasn't gotten a win in a month of Sundays his is still very dangerous. He certainly doesn’t think I belong in the ring with him. I don’t think he remembers when he was the fresh face on the roster, trying to get the push and possibly being put in a match where maybe he might have been a little over matched. I actually would love to face Farquhar first…He is going to have to prove to me that I don’t belong and I don’t think he can do it. He would be a great challenge for me and a fine name to add to my resume as the ascension continues.
So if you beat Yorkshire Pudding? What’s next?
Keaton Saint would be next! He’s a Pillar.
A what?
A Pillar?
What the Hell does that mean?
He is in a faction called the FOUR PILLARS?
That’s a dumb name!
LOL. Well I if you consider any structure is support by something…it has to be strong, durable and able to withstand anything that comes at it…so in retrospect…it’s a good name.
Well I guess…I don’t like it.
LOL, well he is a one of the Pillars and he is probably the odds on favorite to win this whole match?
Why do you say that?
Well he is one of the most talented and experienced players on the APW roster and he has done it all. All of the buzz going around is saying that he is the one…and that this will be is shining moment. He is a stuffy Brit too.
Well, Son you cannot let him defeat you …(the cameras pan in on Papa Smooth’s face) I will not allow it…this feels like Darth Vader on Cloud City all over again (Papa Smooth begins to weep)
Dad..what’s wrong?
*shhhhh* I am doing this for the show…they love crying!
You know what? I am trying to prepare a strategy here!!
Sorry...Go ahead ..I am listening.
When I make it past the winner of Yar and Yorkie and face Saint…he’ll have a bit of advantage because I will have already competed once and I know that he has seen everything. I think he is taking me lightly and the match lightly. I think that the pundits are wrong and that he is not the odds on favorite. I don’t think he wants it and is looking for a way out and I am going to give it to him… SMOOTHED OUT!!!
Smoothed Out?
Yeah it is one of my submissions holds. Do you want me to show you?
No..No No…not on me…umm put in on the chubby camera man!
Hey you !!
(the chubby camera man turns and points to himself)
Yes you!!
(the camera man starts to run!!!)
All hell nah!! ( The Smooth One begins to give chase…but this not a long chase at all)
Chubby Camera man: ..breathing heavy.. No Wait!!
This won’t hurt a bit!! Dad come out in the hall!!
Wait a minute son ..let me get my phone..I am going to put this on Twitter #PAIN!
See first you grab him around the neck like this (gurgle) and you torque his back like so..(ARRGH) He is a little heavy…you need to lay off the toblerone (blurple..snort ..fart) and next thing you know…this happens.
PLEASE STOP…I QUIT!! I WONT EAT ANYMORE CANDY..I PROMISE..I WILL GO VEGETARIAN, VEGAN, GLUTEN FREE, PRESCATARIAN?
What did he say about my MAMA??
He didn’t say anything about grandma…He said Prescatarian?
Did you make that man switch religions??
LOL..NO!
Did you just have that man make up a word?
No Prescatarians eat no other animal flesh other than fish?
Why do you know this?
I used to date this chick that was one.
What happened to her?
LOL, I can be with a woman that doesn’t eat MEAT!!
LOL…that’s my boy!!
Smooth motions to the prone camera man…
Hey chubby! Get up!…you are going to get us put out of the hotel…somebody call him a chiropractor!
Hey Son..I like the Smoothed Out move I am going to try it on the gardener when we get back to Cali!! So after you beat Saint…you face TJ “The Soul of Philly” I like his name son….what are you going to do with him?
Well you know he is a Pillar too?
Wow..you have to beat two of the Pillars to become Tap Out Champ?
Indeed I do father..indeed I do.
TJ ..the Man Beast…6’11 ..285lbs that’s a lot of got damn cheese steaks and well he’s a little upset with me.
Why?
Because I spoke poorly of the Eagles.
The Philadelphia Eagles ..the only team in the NFC east that has never won a super bowl?
That would be the team!
You should be mad at him for being and Eagle fan. They are actually an insult to a majestic bird like the Eagle. The symbol of the fine United States of America…I think pigeon or finch is a better fit?
The Philadelphia Finches….I like it! !
(Father and son..share a chuckle)
He is the last participant in the match and has the most advantage of any one in the match. He’d be tough to beat one on one let alone after wrestling two other matches against top flight talent. He is in a great position to finally strap the Tap Out Title around his waist.
Wow..son you sound almost like you have already lost.
It’s not that…I mean I am not that obtuse to know that this is almost an impossible task. I mean wrestling 3 men in one night..two of them fresh…this is crazy? The courtroom was never this crazy.
I understand son..you know I have been watching you these past few months and I have watched you grow and mature as a wrestler. I thought your were out of your freaking mind when you decided to do this, but now I see that this what you were born to do and you can do this…you can become Tap Out Champion at Christmas Chaos in Madison Square Garden..if you do that you’ll make me so proud.
(Papa Smooth begins to weep again)
For the show?
No son these tears are real…besides if you win..they’ll renew my contract for another year!!
Get out of my room!
Wait…can I least order a sandwich?
OOOh No…OUT!
This is no way to treat your father? What your mother think?
I wonder what she was thinking when she took up with your crazy behind!!
She liked MEAT!
Ah Hell……….
Scene
The Smooth Journal: The Gift (a little ditty for the Tap Out Gauntlet)
I know that the APW fans are looking forward to Tap OUT Gauntlet match and none of its participants will be in a giving mood. There will be no brightly wrapped packages with bows and curly string sitting quietly under the tree just waiting to be opened. No gift bags, no stockings or delivery men happily coming to the door to deliver Tap Out Titles. This is one gift that you’ll have to earn and by no means is this a joyous trip through a wintery wonderland.
This package is full of sleepers and cheese locks, fellas and windsor knots! Blood, sweat and tears and plenty of pain, screams of agony again and again. Eye pokes and gouges, body slams and punches …all shapes and sizes and delivered in bunches. Leg stomps and kicks..submissions you pick!! Pillars and Brits and Philly fanatics all Smoothed Out so there’s no need to panic…it’ll all be over soon like your day in the sun, cause in the ring with me you’ll have no types of fun. I told you I’d win and you’ll think me a psychic and when were all done you’ll get nothing and like it !!
Christmas Chaos! MSG...the BIG APPLE is the place and the SMOOTH ONE is planning to put on a tremendous show for all in attendance and those watching at home! Watch the MAGIC HAPPEN!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your NEW TAP OUT CHAMPION William D. Williams Jr.
