Post by T-Marv on Dec 22, 2012 20:34:03 GMT -4
Ah it is the most magical time of the year. It is the time for holly and jolly. It is the time for cheer and good tidings. It is the time for presents, the time for love and laughter. It is the one time of the year when everyone is kind to their neighbors and everybody gets along.
It is also a complete load of BULLSHIT!
It’s a preposterous notion that just because the weather gets a little colder that people suddenly stop being the wretches of existence that they are and become kind and jolly souls. People never change, they just pause being deplorable bastards for one night, though they continue to watch in jealous rage as others are given what they think they deserve!
But amongst all these traditions one stands above all. The telling of feel good Christmas stories. All these stories have the same general flow about them and they exist only to remind the world that Christmas isn’t about the vast consumerism of it all but about something deeper and more meaningful.
Take the Christmas Carol for example…. It’s the telling of a crotchety old man who sees the error of his ways and suddenly becomes the biggest fucking Yule tide cheerleader the world has ever seen. This has no basis on reality! People don’t change, not really, not down in the deep clutches of their souls. But yet these holiday tales have held meaning over time and become staples for the season.
So because of that, I will give you all what you’ve been longing to hear, a heartfelt Christmas story about the upcoming season. A season in which all will be overjoyed due to the fact that their existence didn’t end just 4 days prior. A season in which they’ll all be looking to Christmas Chaos as their one bright spot in a year filled with sorrow.
But don’t think I’m not going to do this right. There will be no soft sad tale of a bunch of miracles. There will be no automatic happy ending. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it in the only way the REAL SHOW possibly can.
Get ready folks…. Christmas stories are about to GET REAL
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The scene pans over an APW arena where the crowd is on their feet in high anticipation for the action taking place in the ring. As they all stand, the air gets very stale and thick with the palpable hatred emanating out from them.
“This is Booville, and these are the boos who live in Booville. The boos are not happy people, especially when it involves Undisputed champion Terry Marvin”
We see that Terry Marvin is standing in that ring as the fans shower him with boos relentlessly.
“The boos hate Terry Marvin.
The boys and girls in booville hate Terry Marvin.
The moms and dads in booville hate Terry Marvin.
Even the dogs and cats in booville hate Terry Marvin.”
The scene changes a bit to a big house where a family is inside opening up Christmas Presents.
“But the boos in booville LOVE Christmas time.
They get together in their large booville houses with their large booville smiles.
They eat a large booville dinner with food in large piles.
They open their presents with happiness and glee.
As they all sit around the big Christmas tree.
You see they love Christmas so much because it means they get to take a break from their ridiculous booville jobs and their terrible booville lives and for one day pretend that they mean something to his sick and sadistic world.
They also love Christmas because it‘s the time of the year when the heroes win…and this year Terry Marvin will be thrust out of power by their new Christmas hero.”
The scene switches again back to the arena, and this time the boos are cheering for the man in the middle of the ring. The man waives at the boos and smiles. This man is BIGGS.
“This is Biggsy Lou Boo, the king of the boos.
The boos like Biggsy Lou Boo and don‘t boo for Biggsy Lou Boo.
Even though Biggsy Lou Boo used to be the target of the boos.
Biggsy Lou Boo now loves the boos and joined the boos and is now the savior of all that is Booville.
And Biggsy Lou Boo loves Christmas too.
Because Biggsy Lou this Christmas this year will see him delivered the greatest gift he could ask for.
You see Biggsy Lou has been praying for this gift for well over a year….and last Christmas, Santa deemed him to be a bad boy. Last Christmas the boos hated Biggsy Lou, and since the boos always get what the boos always want, Biggsy Lou didn‘t get his gift. ”
We then switch to a picture of Biggs looking at the Undisputed title with longing eyes.
“So this year the Boos with Biggsy Lou Boo think they’ll be celebrating around the Christmas Tree with the Undisputed Title that they take from the man they all despise.”
The scene then switches to a shot of a long distance travel as we leave Booville and travel high up a tower in Toronto where Terry Marvin sits on his throne!
“But up high on the top of a mountain sit’s the object of their distaste. He has no love for the boos and no love for Christmas because of the deeds the boos intend to do. He earned his title and earned it well, and thinks those that look to steal it from him can go rot in hell.
He‘s a grinch, this much is very true, and though he‘s normally annoyed by the boos he lets them because they don‘t really bother him and he sometimes gets a kick out of making them boo.
You see this grinch once made a promise to one and all, that he’d never ever let them take the fall. But he broke his promise and used one and all, and now his heart has shrunken 2 sizes too small.
But this year is different, something must be done. So he paces near his thrown and thinks to himself. ”
Terry is now walking around the throne with his hand on his chin as he contemplates his next move.
“What to do, What to do. What the world do I do about these dastardly boos. They hate me a lot, this much is true….but now they’ve employed Biggsy Lou Boo!
Biggsy Lou is nothing more than a hypocritical oaf who once felt like I do about these damn boos. But because now they hate me more than they do him, he has sided with those he once called enemies. And now he’s trying to steal what I’ve rightfully won. How do I deal with these dastardly boos. “
“He thought and he thought and he thought and he thought.
Just what could he do to get rid of these boos.
Just as he thought he couldn‘t think any longer.
He had one last thought and this one was stronger.
Suddenly out of the blue, Terry got himself an idea.
It was an awful idea, it was a wonderful idea.
Terry got himself a wonderful, awful idea.”
“I know just what to do to deflate these boos.
They love their Christmas so much that it’s all they think about, all they dream about. Every year it is this one singular day that promises them everything they lack throughout the year. This year they plan to use their new puppet Biggsy Lou to steal this title from the big bad you know who!
So I know how to make them all cry and scream. I know how to send nightmares into all of their dreams.
I will sneak into the night and take all their presents. I steal the stocking and stuffers, I’ll even steal the dinner time Pheasant. I‘ll leave them with nothing like they would be doing to me. I‘ll steal every last item, even their tree!
And to make matters worse, I‘ll send them one hell of a message. I‘ll destroy their savior Biggsy Lou Boo and make sure he doesn‘t make it to Christmas Chaos. Without a hero, what the hell can they do. Yes I will ruin that Biggsy Lou Boo!“
Terry laughs as he leaves the throne room, smiling at his new found genius.
“So Terry got ready and bought himself a sleigh. He loaded it up lots of empty sacks to hold all the toys that he‘d be bringing back.
He dressed up like Santa so they wouldn‘t expect. And he waited till midnight for them to all be asleep, and once dawned that hour down the mountain he‘d creep.”
We see scenes of Terry sneaking into houses and sneaking back out with presents, food, and even Christmas trees in tow.
“So he did what he said in expert fashion. He stole everything he could find, taking all the boos‘ Christmas cheer. He didn‘t leave a speck of toy or decoration behind. He did this with expert precession without raising a single alarm. Until he came to the very last house.
While he was inside picking it apart…. He was confronted by the man who swore to be his undoing. There he stood toe to toe with Biggsy Lou Boo.”
We see Terry in a house standing across from a very fat and out of shape gentleman who almost sort of reminds us of Biggs, but only because of his too small tee-shirt that reads “I am Biggsy Lou Boo” He gets in Marvin’s face.
”I am the hero of Booville! I am the one these fans love. And that title you have will soon be mine! Hand it over and you won’t get hurt!”
“Well this didn‘t sit with Terry very well.
His eyes began raging with fury and terror as he pushed up emotions that clearly began in the pits of hell.
Terry took one step towards the giant lump of crap and looks him strait in the eye.”
“You are a joke Biggsy, something the moronic moms and dads tell their kids to take away the nightmares. They don‘t actually believe in you, they just hate me so badly that they‘ll cling to any floating turd that comes along. Congratulations Biggsy, for you are that turd. What‘s going to happen when you‘re not everything they‘ve ever dreamed of? What happens when you fail? You‘ll go back to being just another target of their misplaced hatred. They‘re using you Biggsy just like they wanted to use me, just like they tried to use Level One, or CJ Gates, or Kurt Noble, or anybody who gave them even the smallest bit of sympathy.
And you, you‘re a disgusting Mess Biggsy. You couldn‘t stand up to me even if you truly wanted to. I‘m sick and tired of watching you run around and pretend to be something you‘re not. You‘re not ME Biggsy, no matter how much you fondle yourself pretending that you could be just like the man you pretend to despise. So quit fooling yourself into thinking you could possibly replace me and live out my dream. Isn‘t it about time you called it a day and realized that the world has passed you by?
Here‘s what‘s going to happen Biggsy…. I‘m going to flatten you into a giant puddle of gelatinous lard and continue to be the greatest Undisputed Champion that has ever lived! And you will disappear from all relevancy once again, just like you did after last year’s Christmas Chaos….just like you do every time you fall off the pedestal that the world seems to put you on. You will live out the rest of your life like a pathetic little hermit dreaming of his glory days, days that will NEVER come again. But once a year when the weather turns cold and the children get excited for Santa Clause, you will look back on this Christmas when you were utterly humbled and embarrassed. THAT thought Biggs, is what will keep you in exile. But know if you EVER show your face around here again….I will wear it around as a mask to scare the little children at night!“
With that, the scene fades to black to protect the public from the harsh realities that they are truly not ready to see. We are rejoined with Terry in his tower again, title belt hanging off his shoulder and presents galore littering the room.
“So that is how Terry stole Christmas Chaos from the boos in Booville.
He thought this would end their annoying booing, but the next morning came like any other and the boos rang out loudly all the way to his sanctuary Tower. He looks out the window a little shocked.”
“They have no title, no presents, no reason to persist. Yet they continue to boo me and boo me and boo me.“
Terry bows his head contemplating what this means. But just when you think he’s going to have a total change of heart, he smiles a wicked smile.
“Just the way I like it.“
Just then, the scene falls away and the set collapses into a large open room. Terry just laughs loudly.
“Aww, were you expecting this to be the part of the story where I have a miraculous change of heart? Is this where my heart grows 5 sizes and I give the gifts back and let Biggsy and the boos to have their day in the sun.
Sorry folks, it‘s not that kind of story!“
He laughs wickedly before turning fully to the camera.
“You see, there will be no happy ending, no warm heartfelt finale where everybody sings Kumbaya and holds hands. The hero doesn‘t stand tall at the end of this story while the villain rots away in jail or the grave. This is not a fucking fairy tale…it‘s real life and it‘s something that the rest of the world is going to have to accept VERY FUCKING quickly! You see, this is MY story, and I‘m the only one who gets to come out smelling like roses when all is said and done! You‘d do well to remember that Biggs, and brace yourself for the harsh wave of disappointment that‘s about to hit you like a ton of bricks!”
“So Biggs, I saw your little Christmas production. To say that I’m surprised to see you uses such a cliché’ display would be an outright lie considering that you’ve never had a single original thought in your entire life. But to use wrestlers of your past to represent how you’ve changed, to represent how you’ve grown just shows that you’re stuck living in your glory days and completely and totally out of touch with the NOW! Your reality is a pure joke that paints you as some sort of selfless superhero who only looks out for the good of the people.
At least I came out with the truth about how the world sees me about how I’m perceived. I know that I’m the most hated man in APW history, and I embrace that part of myself. I have never been anything by true to myself, never had to pretend to be somebody else or something else to garner the love and affection of a group of people who would just as soon feed me to the wolves the second I fall out of their oh so fragile favor. You sat there and painted yourself as a God Damned Martyr. It felt more like a tragic black comedy than a touching story of redemption, one aimed at exploiting certain aspects of your view of the truth as stone cold FACT.”
Terry sighs and shakes his head.
”But the far sadder fact of the matter is your complete disregard for anything resembling what truly goes on in this world. Like for instance, insinuating that this title is too much of a burden for me, that you’ll gladly take it off my hands. Once again, it just goes to show that you expect things to be handed to you out of the blue with no proper reasoning what so ever. See Biggs, I’ve earned every single thing that comes my way by hook or crook. I don’t defend my methods, but they get results one way or another. But your career reads like one giant charity charter. It makes me absolutely sick and it’s the single biggest reason why I will give my very last breath to make DAMN sure you’re brand of mediocrity doesn’t touch this storied championship ever again. Lord knows the legacy that it once was has been all but washed away by some of my predecessors, however I fear that a few weeks with you would all but disintegrate any integrity that APW and its top championship still possesses.
But I guess you really don’t have to worry about that do you Biggs, considering that you’ve already decidedly written yourself off as a man who’s looking for some sort of redemption from a complete rubbish of a year in which you disappeared completely from the minds and thoughts of the masses. And you know what 2012 was like without you here Biggs…. PERFECT! In fact, most people didn’t even notice that you had taken a absence. It’s almost like the mark you left on this business was completely and totally negligible. They were already focused on the future, on the next big thing…. THE REAL SHOW was more than willing to be that for them. Whether they loved or hated me Biggs, every single person KNEW that I was going to make an impact….they KNEW when I was around! They kept tabs on me… and made sure to fallow my every move with the utmost of focus. Friend or Foe… I have left an imprint on APW that will never be smudged away. You could somehow pull out the impossible and end my epic title reign Biggs, and it will change nothing. You’d simply be the TRANSITION between one pillar of a champion to another! Kinda like you were the first time Biggs.
Don’t try to deny it Biggs, you know as well as I do that I’m right. The torch was passed from Level One to CJ Gates….you were simply the tool used to accomplish the task! Nobody considered for one second that you were the new face of APW, that you were the brand’s meal ticket. They knew that you were simply a fleeting thought, a minor inconvenience that would soon be shot out of their atmosphere of caring in place of somebody with some real staying power. At least you didn’t let them down. You lived up to your small role in things perfectly. Granted you did so kicking and screaming, but what would we expect out of somebody who was basically told he was nothing but FILLER! Well, here you are again Biggs, the filler match before I head to my true destiny headlining Rasslemania with the so called greatest champion to ever lace his boots. You’re an afterthought, a stepping stone…a rebound opponent!”
Terry smiles a bit and laughs to himself.
“Aww, did I hurt your feelings Biggs by telling the truth. It seems like it’s the one thing you can’t stand to hear after all, the truth. Isn’t that why you hate me so much Biggs, because every single thing that comes out of my mouth is 100% true? It makes it impossible for you to sink back into your shell and hide. It ruins that veil that you’ve pulled in front of yourself. See, you’re nothing more than a COWARD Biggs! You can’t come right out and face your impending failure like an honorable man, so you have to lie to yourself. You have to lie to the world. You have to put out this face of relevancy when everybody knows what you really are. Don’ t get me wrong Biggs, you’re a mainstay in APW. You’re a legend and you’ll go down in the hall of fame. But your long list of accomplishments won’t include your Undisputed title reign…..it will simply exemplify your tremendous ability to build up the Overdrive title from an afterthought to something that people actually respect.
Isn’t that enough Biggs? Can’t you just be satisfied with being the king of the “also rans?” OF course you can…in fact you probably have a shrine to your Overdrive Title days that you masturbate to relentlessly till the raw skin of your underutilized tool flakes and cracks. But you can’t let everyone else know that, cause then they’ll see the truth won’t they. They’ll see that you’re the greatest BRIDESMAID to ever step foot in an APW ring, instead of this larger than life presence that you must project. Isn’t that why you call yourself the Spaceman, so people will think that you’re out of this world? Too bad your illusions can’t fool me. Too bad they can’t fake your way through a match with GOD’S GIFT TO WRESTLING! I have no heart, and no soft spot for the underdog Biggs. I come from the school of thought that the mean, nasty, and STRONG will inherit the earth. So the mercy you’re likely expecting will not be arriving.
It’s just a matter of time before I expose you to the rest of the world, till you can no longer pretend Biggs. I will debunk the myth of the space man and send him crashing back down to earth with earth shattering speed. Your fall from grace will leave a crater in the world so that all will see what happens when a little boy with ungodly aspirations tries to swing above your pay grade. You’ll recognize it easily as it will be in the same exact shape as the one Gates formed when he crushed you OVER AND OVER AND OVER just a year ago. I’m sure that mark has never and WILL never leave your memory. Perhaps you should have drudged it back up before you got in way over your head with the GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO WRESTLING! “
Terry takes a few steps toward the camera before pausing in a contemplative glance. He flashes a half smile, a painful one that betrays a memory from the past.
”I’ve fought this fight before Biggs. And no, I’m not talking about our confrontations last year that were the result of my heart just not being in it anymore. During those contests, I could care less about my APW career, and even then I pushed you to that breaking point almost ending your amazing run! No, I’m talking about a bully who has everyone so fooled to believing that he’s the hero trying to take what is mine! It’s happened my entire career. Some jealous freak can’t stand the fact that I am worlds better than him so he tries to humble me by puffing out his chest and claiming to be the better, stronger, faster specimen. They incite a riot amongst the people until they all believe every false word he spews.
But do you know what happens to those bullies Biggs? Karma has a way of coming back around and knocking them down a few pegs. Bullies gather a following because they talk loud and inspire fear. YOU are a bully Biggs, a bully who rallies your brainless brood of zombies around you with a big attitude. You’ve given them an ENEMY to detest. You’ve led them right to Frankenstein’s monster with torches in hand and a mob mentality ready to destroy anything in their path. Wow, that kind of thinking never fails does it Biggs. I’m sure your short sightedness doesn’t allow for any flaws in that plan to flow through. What happens though when the bully doesn’t back up his claims? What happens when the weak man that they’ve preyed upon proves to be more than a match for the big bad bully? What happens when I put you in your place this week Biggs, when I take your honeyed words and use them against you? What happens when my banner of truth, the same one I’ve been flying my ENTIRE career is the one that’s left swinging from APW’s proverbial flag pole?
The mob turns on the false hero. They can’t stand a liar. They can’t stand a failure. Your future is looking bleak Biggs, and the saddest thing is…. I think you know it”
”I’ve played enough mind games over my days Biggs, that I’ve picked up a few things. I’ve learned how to tell when a mark is primed for takeover. I’ve learned how hard to hit somebody and where exactly to strike with my cerebral attack. But more than that, I’ve learned to read people, to tell what their fears and worries really are. I’ve learned to spot that weakness in their eyes and exploit it for all it’s worth. I see that weakness in you right now Biggs. You’re afraid, VERY afraid. Not just that I’m right and all the words I say will soon become reality. Not just that you will fail at your mission and become just another “what could have been” story. No Biggs, your fear runs much deeper than that, and I’m here to tell you that it’s a VERY valid fear.
You, Biggs, are afraid of being forgotten! You’re afraid that once you pass through this world, you’ll leave nothing behind you that resembles a memory. Perhaps why you allow yourself to become the puppet attached to the strings of the masses, so that at least they’ll have some sort of memory of you, but it doesn’t help does it Biggs? It petrifies you every single night, thinking that all your great success is in your head. You wake up in a cold sweat wondering if you’ve influenced ANYBODY! You’ve built your ego up so much that to not have it constantly fed is slowly killing you. To not be able to boast about your accomplishments is eating away at your soul .You’re afraid you’re becoming less than a man. Especially after Ellie dumped your flaccid ass and broke your will. You’re scared to death that you will no longer mean ANYTHING to anybody.
Well rest assured Biggs… you mean something to me. You mean something VERY important to me. Relax, you won’t be receiving any Christmas cards from me or an invitation for that oh so homo erotic man hug that you’ve been longing for from me. YOU represent the very last obstacle in the YEAR OF THE REAL SHOW. The only thing keeping the Real Show Era from going down as the single greatest timeframe in the history of the world is some impotent little man who is too fucking stupid to realize that he’s an afterthought! You’re keeping me from glory Biggs .You’re keeping me from Rasslemania, from my TRUE destiny. And it SICKENS me that I’m letting you be that ever important threshold that I must break before all my hopes and wishes are laid out for me to ravish!”
Terry lets out one big sigh.
”To think, that after EVERYTHING I’ve gone through this year, every battle I’ve deftly maneuvered, and every treasure I’ve conquered, that a man with a giant head wound and a God complex is what keeps me from everything I’ve ever wanted, It pisses me off to no end. The fact that it couldn’t be somebody RELEVANT standing in my way, somebody that I’d be proud to call my opponent, somebody like Noble, or even your boy toy Gates, is unacceptable to me.
Instead you come from obscurity and poke your nose in where it doesn’t belong. You selfish little bitch, don’t you realize that you’re not the epic figure standing across from me when my story is chiseled in stone. You’re a whelp that is possibly mentioned in the footnotes, so to think that you can stop me, to fathom that you have the ability to halt my destiny is a slap to the face of everything logical. It’s nothing more than a sad little cry for help.
Well, I’ve heard your cry and I’m here to answer it loud and clear! I’m going to grant your wish Biggs, I’m going to make you a fucking superstar in the last show of the YEAR OF TERRY MARVIN. You’re going to get that epic spot in history, a spot that you deserve NO part of. Be careful what you wish for though Biggs…. Cause I’m about to ruin your Christmas!”
Terry glares at the camera now as he speaks.
”I want you to look at me Biggs and hand on every single word that I say cause I will be the last face that sticks in your brain for years and years to come.
This is MY YEAR Biggs. This is the ERA OF THE REAL SHOW! And I won’t let you creep up into the equation to throw things off balance.
I am the man who steals Christmas Chaos out from under your nose.
I am the man who gets everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve ever worked for!
I am the man who stands tall above all else when this glorious year is sinks into the etches of time.
It will not be you Biggs, it will NEVER BE YOU! Not as long as there’s breath in my lungs.
I will uphold the standard that this Undisputed title stands for and I won’t let it fall into inept hands.
I hope you get everything else that you want for Christmas Biggs…. You’ll need it to quell the suicidal thoughts after I rip carpet that is your hopes and dreams out from under you.
Tomorrow night, on the big stage in NEW YORK CITY in front of the entire world….I give you the gift of Oblivion!
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS BIGGS……
ITS SHOWTIME!!! ”
It is also a complete load of BULLSHIT!
It’s a preposterous notion that just because the weather gets a little colder that people suddenly stop being the wretches of existence that they are and become kind and jolly souls. People never change, they just pause being deplorable bastards for one night, though they continue to watch in jealous rage as others are given what they think they deserve!
But amongst all these traditions one stands above all. The telling of feel good Christmas stories. All these stories have the same general flow about them and they exist only to remind the world that Christmas isn’t about the vast consumerism of it all but about something deeper and more meaningful.
Take the Christmas Carol for example…. It’s the telling of a crotchety old man who sees the error of his ways and suddenly becomes the biggest fucking Yule tide cheerleader the world has ever seen. This has no basis on reality! People don’t change, not really, not down in the deep clutches of their souls. But yet these holiday tales have held meaning over time and become staples for the season.
So because of that, I will give you all what you’ve been longing to hear, a heartfelt Christmas story about the upcoming season. A season in which all will be overjoyed due to the fact that their existence didn’t end just 4 days prior. A season in which they’ll all be looking to Christmas Chaos as their one bright spot in a year filled with sorrow.
But don’t think I’m not going to do this right. There will be no soft sad tale of a bunch of miracles. There will be no automatic happy ending. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it in the only way the REAL SHOW possibly can.
Get ready folks…. Christmas stories are about to GET REAL
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The scene pans over an APW arena where the crowd is on their feet in high anticipation for the action taking place in the ring. As they all stand, the air gets very stale and thick with the palpable hatred emanating out from them.
“This is Booville, and these are the boos who live in Booville. The boos are not happy people, especially when it involves Undisputed champion Terry Marvin”
We see that Terry Marvin is standing in that ring as the fans shower him with boos relentlessly.
“The boos hate Terry Marvin.
The boys and girls in booville hate Terry Marvin.
The moms and dads in booville hate Terry Marvin.
Even the dogs and cats in booville hate Terry Marvin.”
The scene changes a bit to a big house where a family is inside opening up Christmas Presents.
“But the boos in booville LOVE Christmas time.
They get together in their large booville houses with their large booville smiles.
They eat a large booville dinner with food in large piles.
They open their presents with happiness and glee.
As they all sit around the big Christmas tree.
You see they love Christmas so much because it means they get to take a break from their ridiculous booville jobs and their terrible booville lives and for one day pretend that they mean something to his sick and sadistic world.
They also love Christmas because it‘s the time of the year when the heroes win…and this year Terry Marvin will be thrust out of power by their new Christmas hero.”
The scene switches again back to the arena, and this time the boos are cheering for the man in the middle of the ring. The man waives at the boos and smiles. This man is BIGGS.
“This is Biggsy Lou Boo, the king of the boos.
The boos like Biggsy Lou Boo and don‘t boo for Biggsy Lou Boo.
Even though Biggsy Lou Boo used to be the target of the boos.
Biggsy Lou Boo now loves the boos and joined the boos and is now the savior of all that is Booville.
And Biggsy Lou Boo loves Christmas too.
Because Biggsy Lou this Christmas this year will see him delivered the greatest gift he could ask for.
You see Biggsy Lou has been praying for this gift for well over a year….and last Christmas, Santa deemed him to be a bad boy. Last Christmas the boos hated Biggsy Lou, and since the boos always get what the boos always want, Biggsy Lou didn‘t get his gift. ”
We then switch to a picture of Biggs looking at the Undisputed title with longing eyes.
“So this year the Boos with Biggsy Lou Boo think they’ll be celebrating around the Christmas Tree with the Undisputed Title that they take from the man they all despise.”
The scene then switches to a shot of a long distance travel as we leave Booville and travel high up a tower in Toronto where Terry Marvin sits on his throne!
“But up high on the top of a mountain sit’s the object of their distaste. He has no love for the boos and no love for Christmas because of the deeds the boos intend to do. He earned his title and earned it well, and thinks those that look to steal it from him can go rot in hell.
He‘s a grinch, this much is very true, and though he‘s normally annoyed by the boos he lets them because they don‘t really bother him and he sometimes gets a kick out of making them boo.
You see this grinch once made a promise to one and all, that he’d never ever let them take the fall. But he broke his promise and used one and all, and now his heart has shrunken 2 sizes too small.
But this year is different, something must be done. So he paces near his thrown and thinks to himself. ”
Terry is now walking around the throne with his hand on his chin as he contemplates his next move.
“What to do, What to do. What the world do I do about these dastardly boos. They hate me a lot, this much is true….but now they’ve employed Biggsy Lou Boo!
Biggsy Lou is nothing more than a hypocritical oaf who once felt like I do about these damn boos. But because now they hate me more than they do him, he has sided with those he once called enemies. And now he’s trying to steal what I’ve rightfully won. How do I deal with these dastardly boos. “
“He thought and he thought and he thought and he thought.
Just what could he do to get rid of these boos.
Just as he thought he couldn‘t think any longer.
He had one last thought and this one was stronger.
Suddenly out of the blue, Terry got himself an idea.
It was an awful idea, it was a wonderful idea.
Terry got himself a wonderful, awful idea.”
“I know just what to do to deflate these boos.
They love their Christmas so much that it’s all they think about, all they dream about. Every year it is this one singular day that promises them everything they lack throughout the year. This year they plan to use their new puppet Biggsy Lou to steal this title from the big bad you know who!
So I know how to make them all cry and scream. I know how to send nightmares into all of their dreams.
I will sneak into the night and take all their presents. I steal the stocking and stuffers, I’ll even steal the dinner time Pheasant. I‘ll leave them with nothing like they would be doing to me. I‘ll steal every last item, even their tree!
And to make matters worse, I‘ll send them one hell of a message. I‘ll destroy their savior Biggsy Lou Boo and make sure he doesn‘t make it to Christmas Chaos. Without a hero, what the hell can they do. Yes I will ruin that Biggsy Lou Boo!“
Terry laughs as he leaves the throne room, smiling at his new found genius.
“So Terry got ready and bought himself a sleigh. He loaded it up lots of empty sacks to hold all the toys that he‘d be bringing back.
He dressed up like Santa so they wouldn‘t expect. And he waited till midnight for them to all be asleep, and once dawned that hour down the mountain he‘d creep.”
We see scenes of Terry sneaking into houses and sneaking back out with presents, food, and even Christmas trees in tow.
“So he did what he said in expert fashion. He stole everything he could find, taking all the boos‘ Christmas cheer. He didn‘t leave a speck of toy or decoration behind. He did this with expert precession without raising a single alarm. Until he came to the very last house.
While he was inside picking it apart…. He was confronted by the man who swore to be his undoing. There he stood toe to toe with Biggsy Lou Boo.”
We see Terry in a house standing across from a very fat and out of shape gentleman who almost sort of reminds us of Biggs, but only because of his too small tee-shirt that reads “I am Biggsy Lou Boo” He gets in Marvin’s face.
”I am the hero of Booville! I am the one these fans love. And that title you have will soon be mine! Hand it over and you won’t get hurt!”
“Well this didn‘t sit with Terry very well.
His eyes began raging with fury and terror as he pushed up emotions that clearly began in the pits of hell.
Terry took one step towards the giant lump of crap and looks him strait in the eye.”
“You are a joke Biggsy, something the moronic moms and dads tell their kids to take away the nightmares. They don‘t actually believe in you, they just hate me so badly that they‘ll cling to any floating turd that comes along. Congratulations Biggsy, for you are that turd. What‘s going to happen when you‘re not everything they‘ve ever dreamed of? What happens when you fail? You‘ll go back to being just another target of their misplaced hatred. They‘re using you Biggsy just like they wanted to use me, just like they tried to use Level One, or CJ Gates, or Kurt Noble, or anybody who gave them even the smallest bit of sympathy.
And you, you‘re a disgusting Mess Biggsy. You couldn‘t stand up to me even if you truly wanted to. I‘m sick and tired of watching you run around and pretend to be something you‘re not. You‘re not ME Biggsy, no matter how much you fondle yourself pretending that you could be just like the man you pretend to despise. So quit fooling yourself into thinking you could possibly replace me and live out my dream. Isn‘t it about time you called it a day and realized that the world has passed you by?
Here‘s what‘s going to happen Biggsy…. I‘m going to flatten you into a giant puddle of gelatinous lard and continue to be the greatest Undisputed Champion that has ever lived! And you will disappear from all relevancy once again, just like you did after last year’s Christmas Chaos….just like you do every time you fall off the pedestal that the world seems to put you on. You will live out the rest of your life like a pathetic little hermit dreaming of his glory days, days that will NEVER come again. But once a year when the weather turns cold and the children get excited for Santa Clause, you will look back on this Christmas when you were utterly humbled and embarrassed. THAT thought Biggs, is what will keep you in exile. But know if you EVER show your face around here again….I will wear it around as a mask to scare the little children at night!“
With that, the scene fades to black to protect the public from the harsh realities that they are truly not ready to see. We are rejoined with Terry in his tower again, title belt hanging off his shoulder and presents galore littering the room.
“So that is how Terry stole Christmas Chaos from the boos in Booville.
He thought this would end their annoying booing, but the next morning came like any other and the boos rang out loudly all the way to his sanctuary Tower. He looks out the window a little shocked.”
“They have no title, no presents, no reason to persist. Yet they continue to boo me and boo me and boo me.“
Terry bows his head contemplating what this means. But just when you think he’s going to have a total change of heart, he smiles a wicked smile.
“Just the way I like it.“
Just then, the scene falls away and the set collapses into a large open room. Terry just laughs loudly.
“Aww, were you expecting this to be the part of the story where I have a miraculous change of heart? Is this where my heart grows 5 sizes and I give the gifts back and let Biggsy and the boos to have their day in the sun.
Sorry folks, it‘s not that kind of story!“
He laughs wickedly before turning fully to the camera.
“You see, there will be no happy ending, no warm heartfelt finale where everybody sings Kumbaya and holds hands. The hero doesn‘t stand tall at the end of this story while the villain rots away in jail or the grave. This is not a fucking fairy tale…it‘s real life and it‘s something that the rest of the world is going to have to accept VERY FUCKING quickly! You see, this is MY story, and I‘m the only one who gets to come out smelling like roses when all is said and done! You‘d do well to remember that Biggs, and brace yourself for the harsh wave of disappointment that‘s about to hit you like a ton of bricks!”
“So Biggs, I saw your little Christmas production. To say that I’m surprised to see you uses such a cliché’ display would be an outright lie considering that you’ve never had a single original thought in your entire life. But to use wrestlers of your past to represent how you’ve changed, to represent how you’ve grown just shows that you’re stuck living in your glory days and completely and totally out of touch with the NOW! Your reality is a pure joke that paints you as some sort of selfless superhero who only looks out for the good of the people.
At least I came out with the truth about how the world sees me about how I’m perceived. I know that I’m the most hated man in APW history, and I embrace that part of myself. I have never been anything by true to myself, never had to pretend to be somebody else or something else to garner the love and affection of a group of people who would just as soon feed me to the wolves the second I fall out of their oh so fragile favor. You sat there and painted yourself as a God Damned Martyr. It felt more like a tragic black comedy than a touching story of redemption, one aimed at exploiting certain aspects of your view of the truth as stone cold FACT.”
Terry sighs and shakes his head.
”But the far sadder fact of the matter is your complete disregard for anything resembling what truly goes on in this world. Like for instance, insinuating that this title is too much of a burden for me, that you’ll gladly take it off my hands. Once again, it just goes to show that you expect things to be handed to you out of the blue with no proper reasoning what so ever. See Biggs, I’ve earned every single thing that comes my way by hook or crook. I don’t defend my methods, but they get results one way or another. But your career reads like one giant charity charter. It makes me absolutely sick and it’s the single biggest reason why I will give my very last breath to make DAMN sure you’re brand of mediocrity doesn’t touch this storied championship ever again. Lord knows the legacy that it once was has been all but washed away by some of my predecessors, however I fear that a few weeks with you would all but disintegrate any integrity that APW and its top championship still possesses.
But I guess you really don’t have to worry about that do you Biggs, considering that you’ve already decidedly written yourself off as a man who’s looking for some sort of redemption from a complete rubbish of a year in which you disappeared completely from the minds and thoughts of the masses. And you know what 2012 was like without you here Biggs…. PERFECT! In fact, most people didn’t even notice that you had taken a absence. It’s almost like the mark you left on this business was completely and totally negligible. They were already focused on the future, on the next big thing…. THE REAL SHOW was more than willing to be that for them. Whether they loved or hated me Biggs, every single person KNEW that I was going to make an impact….they KNEW when I was around! They kept tabs on me… and made sure to fallow my every move with the utmost of focus. Friend or Foe… I have left an imprint on APW that will never be smudged away. You could somehow pull out the impossible and end my epic title reign Biggs, and it will change nothing. You’d simply be the TRANSITION between one pillar of a champion to another! Kinda like you were the first time Biggs.
Don’t try to deny it Biggs, you know as well as I do that I’m right. The torch was passed from Level One to CJ Gates….you were simply the tool used to accomplish the task! Nobody considered for one second that you were the new face of APW, that you were the brand’s meal ticket. They knew that you were simply a fleeting thought, a minor inconvenience that would soon be shot out of their atmosphere of caring in place of somebody with some real staying power. At least you didn’t let them down. You lived up to your small role in things perfectly. Granted you did so kicking and screaming, but what would we expect out of somebody who was basically told he was nothing but FILLER! Well, here you are again Biggs, the filler match before I head to my true destiny headlining Rasslemania with the so called greatest champion to ever lace his boots. You’re an afterthought, a stepping stone…a rebound opponent!”
Terry smiles a bit and laughs to himself.
“Aww, did I hurt your feelings Biggs by telling the truth. It seems like it’s the one thing you can’t stand to hear after all, the truth. Isn’t that why you hate me so much Biggs, because every single thing that comes out of my mouth is 100% true? It makes it impossible for you to sink back into your shell and hide. It ruins that veil that you’ve pulled in front of yourself. See, you’re nothing more than a COWARD Biggs! You can’t come right out and face your impending failure like an honorable man, so you have to lie to yourself. You have to lie to the world. You have to put out this face of relevancy when everybody knows what you really are. Don’ t get me wrong Biggs, you’re a mainstay in APW. You’re a legend and you’ll go down in the hall of fame. But your long list of accomplishments won’t include your Undisputed title reign…..it will simply exemplify your tremendous ability to build up the Overdrive title from an afterthought to something that people actually respect.
Isn’t that enough Biggs? Can’t you just be satisfied with being the king of the “also rans?” OF course you can…in fact you probably have a shrine to your Overdrive Title days that you masturbate to relentlessly till the raw skin of your underutilized tool flakes and cracks. But you can’t let everyone else know that, cause then they’ll see the truth won’t they. They’ll see that you’re the greatest BRIDESMAID to ever step foot in an APW ring, instead of this larger than life presence that you must project. Isn’t that why you call yourself the Spaceman, so people will think that you’re out of this world? Too bad your illusions can’t fool me. Too bad they can’t fake your way through a match with GOD’S GIFT TO WRESTLING! I have no heart, and no soft spot for the underdog Biggs. I come from the school of thought that the mean, nasty, and STRONG will inherit the earth. So the mercy you’re likely expecting will not be arriving.
It’s just a matter of time before I expose you to the rest of the world, till you can no longer pretend Biggs. I will debunk the myth of the space man and send him crashing back down to earth with earth shattering speed. Your fall from grace will leave a crater in the world so that all will see what happens when a little boy with ungodly aspirations tries to swing above your pay grade. You’ll recognize it easily as it will be in the same exact shape as the one Gates formed when he crushed you OVER AND OVER AND OVER just a year ago. I’m sure that mark has never and WILL never leave your memory. Perhaps you should have drudged it back up before you got in way over your head with the GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO WRESTLING! “
Terry takes a few steps toward the camera before pausing in a contemplative glance. He flashes a half smile, a painful one that betrays a memory from the past.
”I’ve fought this fight before Biggs. And no, I’m not talking about our confrontations last year that were the result of my heart just not being in it anymore. During those contests, I could care less about my APW career, and even then I pushed you to that breaking point almost ending your amazing run! No, I’m talking about a bully who has everyone so fooled to believing that he’s the hero trying to take what is mine! It’s happened my entire career. Some jealous freak can’t stand the fact that I am worlds better than him so he tries to humble me by puffing out his chest and claiming to be the better, stronger, faster specimen. They incite a riot amongst the people until they all believe every false word he spews.
But do you know what happens to those bullies Biggs? Karma has a way of coming back around and knocking them down a few pegs. Bullies gather a following because they talk loud and inspire fear. YOU are a bully Biggs, a bully who rallies your brainless brood of zombies around you with a big attitude. You’ve given them an ENEMY to detest. You’ve led them right to Frankenstein’s monster with torches in hand and a mob mentality ready to destroy anything in their path. Wow, that kind of thinking never fails does it Biggs. I’m sure your short sightedness doesn’t allow for any flaws in that plan to flow through. What happens though when the bully doesn’t back up his claims? What happens when the weak man that they’ve preyed upon proves to be more than a match for the big bad bully? What happens when I put you in your place this week Biggs, when I take your honeyed words and use them against you? What happens when my banner of truth, the same one I’ve been flying my ENTIRE career is the one that’s left swinging from APW’s proverbial flag pole?
The mob turns on the false hero. They can’t stand a liar. They can’t stand a failure. Your future is looking bleak Biggs, and the saddest thing is…. I think you know it”
”I’ve played enough mind games over my days Biggs, that I’ve picked up a few things. I’ve learned how to tell when a mark is primed for takeover. I’ve learned how hard to hit somebody and where exactly to strike with my cerebral attack. But more than that, I’ve learned to read people, to tell what their fears and worries really are. I’ve learned to spot that weakness in their eyes and exploit it for all it’s worth. I see that weakness in you right now Biggs. You’re afraid, VERY afraid. Not just that I’m right and all the words I say will soon become reality. Not just that you will fail at your mission and become just another “what could have been” story. No Biggs, your fear runs much deeper than that, and I’m here to tell you that it’s a VERY valid fear.
You, Biggs, are afraid of being forgotten! You’re afraid that once you pass through this world, you’ll leave nothing behind you that resembles a memory. Perhaps why you allow yourself to become the puppet attached to the strings of the masses, so that at least they’ll have some sort of memory of you, but it doesn’t help does it Biggs? It petrifies you every single night, thinking that all your great success is in your head. You wake up in a cold sweat wondering if you’ve influenced ANYBODY! You’ve built your ego up so much that to not have it constantly fed is slowly killing you. To not be able to boast about your accomplishments is eating away at your soul .You’re afraid you’re becoming less than a man. Especially after Ellie dumped your flaccid ass and broke your will. You’re scared to death that you will no longer mean ANYTHING to anybody.
Well rest assured Biggs… you mean something to me. You mean something VERY important to me. Relax, you won’t be receiving any Christmas cards from me or an invitation for that oh so homo erotic man hug that you’ve been longing for from me. YOU represent the very last obstacle in the YEAR OF THE REAL SHOW. The only thing keeping the Real Show Era from going down as the single greatest timeframe in the history of the world is some impotent little man who is too fucking stupid to realize that he’s an afterthought! You’re keeping me from glory Biggs .You’re keeping me from Rasslemania, from my TRUE destiny. And it SICKENS me that I’m letting you be that ever important threshold that I must break before all my hopes and wishes are laid out for me to ravish!”
Terry lets out one big sigh.
”To think, that after EVERYTHING I’ve gone through this year, every battle I’ve deftly maneuvered, and every treasure I’ve conquered, that a man with a giant head wound and a God complex is what keeps me from everything I’ve ever wanted, It pisses me off to no end. The fact that it couldn’t be somebody RELEVANT standing in my way, somebody that I’d be proud to call my opponent, somebody like Noble, or even your boy toy Gates, is unacceptable to me.
Instead you come from obscurity and poke your nose in where it doesn’t belong. You selfish little bitch, don’t you realize that you’re not the epic figure standing across from me when my story is chiseled in stone. You’re a whelp that is possibly mentioned in the footnotes, so to think that you can stop me, to fathom that you have the ability to halt my destiny is a slap to the face of everything logical. It’s nothing more than a sad little cry for help.
Well, I’ve heard your cry and I’m here to answer it loud and clear! I’m going to grant your wish Biggs, I’m going to make you a fucking superstar in the last show of the YEAR OF TERRY MARVIN. You’re going to get that epic spot in history, a spot that you deserve NO part of. Be careful what you wish for though Biggs…. Cause I’m about to ruin your Christmas!”
Terry glares at the camera now as he speaks.
”I want you to look at me Biggs and hand on every single word that I say cause I will be the last face that sticks in your brain for years and years to come.
This is MY YEAR Biggs. This is the ERA OF THE REAL SHOW! And I won’t let you creep up into the equation to throw things off balance.
I am the man who steals Christmas Chaos out from under your nose.
I am the man who gets everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve ever worked for!
I am the man who stands tall above all else when this glorious year is sinks into the etches of time.
It will not be you Biggs, it will NEVER BE YOU! Not as long as there’s breath in my lungs.
I will uphold the standard that this Undisputed title stands for and I won’t let it fall into inept hands.
I hope you get everything else that you want for Christmas Biggs…. You’ll need it to quell the suicidal thoughts after I rip carpet that is your hopes and dreams out from under you.
Tomorrow night, on the big stage in NEW YORK CITY in front of the entire world….I give you the gift of Oblivion!
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS BIGGS……
ITS SHOWTIME!!! ”
