One a day after the world didn't end...

[Level-Two]

One a day after the world didn't end...

''Oh, fuck!''

These were the words he uttered when he realized the Mayan prophecy really was a myth. He had a match with CJ Gates just a day away and he did absolute nothing to actually prepare for it. He quickly rolled out of bed and through the first pair of clothes he had lying on the floor and quickly made his way out of his Penthouse.

''Uh... hey, Jeff?'' Lester said holding the phone as he spoke to the APW President. ''Sorry about missing the press conference - and the fan expo - oh and the entire media tour this week in general, my bad!''

Jeff could be heard yelling on the other end.

''Look man the Mayans had some pretty good evidence to back their claims, alright? Planet Niburu? Fuck, sounds legit. I'm not saying I completely bought into what they were selling but if you give a man his excuse... how can you expect him not to jump all over it?''

...

''Okay, your not happy about it - I get it! Look, I'll have a promotional package up on your goddamned website by the end of today. Though, don't expect it to be anything groundbreaking like the original master pieces Biggs puts out - alright? My originality gets stifled when I am under pressure!''

Lester shoved his cellphone into his pocket. ''Yeah, fuck you too dude.''

He pulls out a crumpled up list out of his pocket titled: ''Shit to do if the Mayans were wrong'' and tries to iron it's wrinkles out over his knee. We see several items on the list with the first one being checked off.

Call Jeff for employment status confirmation: CHECK

He enters the elevator and takes a trip down a couple floors. His next stop was in the same apartment complex where other successful people lived. He knocked on an old friends door who looked through the peer hold and then hit a secret department that opened up in his door and allowed him to speak through it.

''What's the code?''

''Government conspiracies...'' Lester mumbles. The man behind the door quickly unlatches the several bolts and locks to his door and greets him at the door.

''Hey Lester, my friend!'' The man greeted. Lester rolled his eyes and outstretched his hand to which the conspiracy theorist squirted two pea sized drops of hand sanitizer into his hand and checked him to see if he was rigged up with wires. ''Alright, we're good.''

''So, Ken...'' Lester started.

''The name is Kenny Springfield Splitzmyer!'' The crazy man blurted out. ''Sorry but I hate my government name!''

''Can I just call you dude?'' Lester looked at Kenny Springfield with a dumbfounded look on his face. ''Listen dude - this entire 2012 shit you sold me on was a fucking hoax. I knew I shouldn't trust somebody who looks like they smoke weed with Jason Kash.''

''Hey man don't be pinning that 2012 shit on me! Actually, if you were listening I said the world wasn't ending until AFTER Christmas. The big corporations wouldn't want to lose out on money they make by peddling the HOAX that is Christmas.''

''Wait, how does that make any sense?'' Lester asked. ''If the world is going to end why does money matter?''

''Are you here to DISCREDIT my claims!?'' Kenny Springfield said with his eyes growing wild eye. ''You aren't working with CJ Gates in a mass plot to demonize Terry Marvin are you?''

''What?'' Lester uttered shaking his head in confusion. ''Look man, I'm just here to see if you have some extra bean cans and tinfoil lying around? I know you use them to make those funny looking contraptions.''

''Oh, you mean for my solar flare interceptors!" Kenny Springfield said pointing to a large can and tinfoil contraption placed behind his largest window over looking the beautiful city view. ''How many cans you need bud? Cause' I got enough tin foil for the both of us!''

''I bet. Um, I need enough to hypothetically feed an orphanage.'' Lester Only replied. ''I figured since the world isn't ending, I'd finally give back to the community - you know, in the name of Christmas spirit.''

Kenny Springfield walks off and comes back with the box with a smile. He goes to pick up the box but suddenly the mad man snaps.

''ARE YOU CALLING ME A GOVERNMENT AGENT!?''

''Jeeze dude, I didn't even say anything - you fucking wack a doo. Give me the goddamned bean cans and I'm out of here!''

Kenny Springfield handed the box to Lester Only who quickly made a b - line to the door. Upon his exit - he hears the door being locked as quickly as it had been opened. With a free hand he pulled out his list: Shit to do if the mayans were wrong.

Pick up empty cans for the charity of orphans: CHECK

Hours later, Level-One would meet up with his partner in crime Terry Marvin who had invited a camera crew for a Public Relations stunt that Felipe DeLoren signed off on. The two would donate several objects for Christmas to the local orphanage to lift their good standings with the fans. Although Level-One didn't care much about what the fans thought - Terry Marvin wanted to be cheered for his evil doings.

''Why are we here again?'' Lester whined as several workers were loading trucks with the donations. ''This isn't good for my image...''

''We are here because CJ Gates and Biggs are not. For two so called heroes - they sure don't show it outside the ring.'' Terry Marvin mocked.

''Shit, the world really should have ended tomorrow. At least it would have solved world hunger...'' Lester snarled while Terry Marvin laughed a long.

''So what did you bring for the drive?''

''Oh, a couple hundred empty cans.'' Lester Only said tossing his box to Marvin. ''Cannn you believe it?''

Lester nudged Terry Marvin on the shoulder trying to garnish a response to his lazy pun. Terry Marvin wore a quizzical look on his face.

''You aren't joking...'' Terry Marvin said hiding the box out of view. ''You need to get rid of this. If anyone finds out that you brought empty food cans to starving children they're going to think you're the biggest asshole in the world.''

''I am the biggest asshole in the world.''

Terry Marvin sighed. ''Yeah but that's not the point. You think I give a damn about this food drive? No. It's all about doing whatever I can to get inside of Biggs head before Christmas Chaos.''

''I don't see what's the big deal - check it out!'' Lester said opening up the box. He grabs a can sticks a string through it and tosses it to Marvin. He grabs the other end with another can attached and he holds it up to his hear. ''Cannn you hear me?''

''First off please cut it out with that damn pun.'' Terry Marvin begged. ''And yes but that's only because you're standing like five inches in front of me.''

''Fine, I'll make the string longer next time!'' Lester compromised. ''The point is - this is pretty fricken crafty...''

''Yeah, in like the 1800's!''

The two continued to talk into their make shift telephone.

''So how do you feel about your match with CJ Gates this week?'' Terry asked.

''Well, different.'' Lester replied with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. ''I mean the first time I faced him I had an amount of respect for him being a champion in all but now, I feel nothing but pity towards him. He's a former shell of himself. I think he believes I have been over looking him but the truth is, I've been looking out for him. I am not going to let CJ Gates beat me because I have CJ Gates best interests in mind and I am not going to let him down.''

''I don't get it?''

''I'll explain.'' Lester continued. ''If CJ Gates beats me it won't be a sign of his greatness but a sign of my own failure of epic proportions. Allowing CJ Gates to defeat me would perpetrate the myth that he is anything more then a gate keeper and re affirm in his mind that he still has what it takes to the be the best which we both know he doesn't. I need to beat CJ Gates so he can finally let this entire undisputed title dream go and he can come to terms his position in this company like it has always been with me around because contrary to his unpopular belief; I am not going nowhere.''

''Yeah without you his life would be a hell of a lot easier...'' Terry Marvin's voice echoed through the tin can.

''With me around he cant benefit from free hand outs and undeserved opportunities. Without me around he would probably been deemed number one contender by default and he can't stand knowing that. He can't standing knowing that I am going to make him fight for every yard, every quarter and for every inch of the battlefield.''

''Like Biggs, he's bound to crash under the pressure.'' Terry Marvin laughed. ''After all, it's what paper champions are made of.''

Terry Marvin pulled on the end of his tin can pulling it away from Level-One who snarled in response. Terry Marvin threw both tins cans back into the box.

''Seriously, what are we going to do about the cans?'' Terry Marvin started again.

''We we're having a pretty wrestling relevant conversation right now and you're talking about the cans again...''

''You're the one the brought empty cans to a orphanage full of starving children...'' Terry Marvin reminded him. ''What are we going to do about this?''

''I don't know...'' Level-One shrugged his shoulders not really caring about the entire ordeal in general. ''We can always do a frame up job on CJ Gates? I'll say I went in on it with you and this box of empty cans donated to a orphanage full of starving children was a donation by CJ Gates on the behalf of the APW?''

''I can't believe you man. That's cruel. That's messed up...'' Terry Marvin paused. ''That's so... BRILLIANT!''

The two trouble makers pulled out a magic marker and wrote CJ Gates name on the box and handed it to one of the workers who proceeded to load it up into the truck to be transported to the orphanage. As it drove up the two laughed like hyenas and another item on the: What to do if the Mayans were wrong list'' was checked off.

Complete press release hoax: CHECK

The two spent the rest of the night at the Marriott Hotel in town - admiring their work over a couple of cold soft drinks and a live news broadcast with a yellow ticker across the screen.

APW star CJ Gates donates children's toys to local orphanage!!!

''What!?''

''PROPAGANDA!''

AND NOW MORE FOR OUR LOCAL REPORTER, Tanis Lancaster!

''Hi, folks. Today I am inside a local orphanage where a half dozen kids have made the most out of tin cans. While an interesting donation item to say the least - kids here at the orphanage have been using them to create makeshift telephones, arts and crafts holders and even makeshift drums and it was all possible by APW Mega Star, CJ Gates!''

''Drums!'' Level-One shouted at the television screen. ''Why didn't I think of that!?''

''I think CJ Gates could take a dump in the middle of the ring and still get cheered for it!'' Terry Marvin stated in disgust. ''So what are you going to do about this?''

''I am going to defeat CJ Gates at Christmas Chaos.''

Defeat CJ Gates at Christmas Chaos: CHECK

---

Christmas time is the season of giving and I have given CJ Gates everything he could possibly ask for and more and it still isn't enough for this overgrown spoiled child. So, I'd figure I'd give him some more presents to win him over.

He reaches under the Christmas Tree and pulls out the first gift. It's fairly large, rectangular and everything a wrestling fan could ever ask for and more. He tears it open and holds it up in front of his face as he flashes an arrogant grin.

Yes, that's right CJ! I got you my personal autobiography detailing my historic rise straight to Hollywood! Here in the six DVD box set you'll also witness all three of my previous main event matches at Rasslemania! I couldn't help but notice you've taken quite an interest in viewing my tapes and hanging onto every last word I have to say so I'm sure this will help you out in your cause.

See, CJ Gates. You watch this and you'll understand how much main eventing Rasslemania means to me. To me? This isn't just another match. You might be just another opponent - one whom I have beat on several different occasions I may add but our encounter at Christmas Chaos is a pivotal event in the course of my career! Rasslemania is the accumulation of a years worth of hard work, focus and dedication that all comes together on one night! I don't mean to discredit the very little you have actually done in this business but there is no doubt in my mind that between the two of us? I'm the more hardworking. Between the two of us? I'm the guy this company can depend on. And between the two of us? A world separates us apart.

You'll also realize the drawing power a name like mine carries in comparison to yours. I have main evented Rasslemania three times, CJ. Whether it was against Micheal Lively, Pence Weatherlight or Sally Talfourd the APW had no trouble selling that match up. However, your less then spectacular reign as Undisputed World Champion meant that the APW had to stack three other more interesting competitors then you into the equation just to make sure it sold. You didn't have the drawing power to do that on your own, CJ. You may have won that title based on wrestling but these days people are looking for wrestlers who can also put on a show - how many reverse wrist locks you and Biggs can slap on each other while technically impressive isn't exactly the fans idea of a great time.

He smirks as he places his DVD box set aside and pulls out a second gift from under the Christmas tree. He tears open the wrapping paper and holds up a book. The book is called - 101 rules: Wrestling for dummies

My next gift comes in response to CJ Gates slanders claims that I have cheated in my past victories against him. He throws this meaningless word as if it's going to change the fact I beat him and furthered my career while he didn't. Hypothetically speaking, let's I cheat at Christmas Chaos and I win... what exactly happens after that? Am I going to be arrested? Is the management out back going to overturn the call made in the favor of CJ Gates? Oh, I get it! If I win by cheating - CJ Gates is going to be fighting for the Undisputed Championship at Rasslemania!

Wait... that's not it either?

Listen you soar loser, I beat you legitimately and everyone knows it! So, I got you this rule book to help you understand your misfunction! You see there are many rules - no eye pokes, no low blows and no small joint manipulation however each one of them are to be enforced by a referee! If I was ''cheating'' then it's the referee job to ensure I don't but because he didn't then anything I did was automatically within legal boundaries! The funny thing is, the Sindicate has long pushed for referee reform to ensure whiny complaints like yours are dealt with but you haven't signed on and you haven't endorsed the introduction of a privately owned, Sindicate run referee service! A service in which our very own Undisputed Champion Terry Marvin vouches for and has provided a living testimonial to our product!

Another reason I got you this rule book is to realize that you have been playing by the all these rules to the T and hasn't given you anything to show for! You're so worried about not losing a wrestling match by disqualification to the point where you get pinned before it even becomes a possibility! The truth is you'd bend the rules if you could - you just don't believe your crafty enough to get away with it and I understand, CJ. Some men are just made bitches and others are born with vaginas! At the end of the day however, you need to understand that turning this stupid book into your wrestling bible is only going to limit your paths to victory and thus lead you to failure.

Though please... fail if you must.

He laughs to himself and tosses the book aside without a care in the world. He reaches under the Christmas Tree and picks up a third gift. This one is large, awkward and poorly wrapped - he tears it apart and we learn that it's a pillow. He bought CJ Gates a pillow.

To be honest it just wouldn't be a CJ Gates Christmas without the symbol of his career! I mean not only is his career a bore but if anyone embodies the properties of a pillow - it's CJ Gates. I mean he's soft. He can take punishment and more often then not you'll be able to lay on him longer then three seconds!

CJ Gates is going need this pillow to help facilitate the delusional dreams he's been dreaming up as of late. Word has it, they're as detailed as ever - including commentary from Chase and Harvey! Before we know it, CJ Gates believes he'll be squashing me and Chase will be singing the praise of CJ Gates as the delusions continue to grow more ridiculous by the second! I mean, I hate to be the dream crusher here but grab the cold water and wake this son of a bitch up!

While we're at it, I'm throwing a pair of boxers because something tells me this dream was a wet one!

He gawks at the thought as he drops the pillow and grabs a fourth gift from under the tree. He unwraps what we learn to be a tin can. He pops off the lid and the sight is gruesome. It's a rotten meat pie with maggots growing in it. The scent is dreadful.

This gift is from me to you - heart to heart. I wanted to show you and the world what you meant to be CJ Gates and I could think of no better gift then a maggot filled pie. See, the pie is what we're fighting for - each one of us wanting a slice. You? You're the maggots crawling all over the pie; spoiling the rest on the bases of your existence alone. This takes me back to the entire creation of this match, CJ. Sure - Rasslemania? That's a piece of the pie I want but to have to go through you to get it? Well, that's like picking these dirty maggots out of this chicken pie. I should never have to deal with you. I shouldn't have to face you. I am DISGUSTED by your presence in my ring.

I would prefer to fight for this opportunity against ANYONE other than YOU! See, when I realized I had to go through you to main event Rasslemania I thought I could help me by helping you. I tried to make this maggot pie look good enough to eat so I sprayed a can of whip cream on top and added a little bit of sprinkles on top to mask the reality of the situation. However, you being the dirty maggot you are - you couldn't help but rear your ugly head! And now? Now I am left to take a bite out of this maggot pie... you make me SICK CJ Gates!

Though, I cut myself a piece of this pie and I bite down into it because as hungry as I am? You'll do anything just to eat. While you aren't worthy of a contendership opportunity, it isn't going make me feel any worse about exploiting the situation. Though, I can't say I don't feel the least bit sorry for all those men like AC Smith and Kurt Noble - who would beat you on any day of the week having to sit on the sidelines because CJ Gates just happened to catch a first person view of Level-One's spotlight when you purposefully stepped in front of the camera looking to ambulance chase and build fan sympathy for an attack YOU brought onto yourself by running face first into MY camera!

That desperate for camera time, eh?

He snarled before he reached under the tree and pulled out his fifth gift. He slowly unwrapped this one as it was the most expensive item thus far, it was a camera.

So, I figured why not go big and bought YOU your VERY own camcorder! This way you can document the detour your road to Rasslemania has taken in real time, IMAGINE THAT! There the fans could watch your transition from being an undisputed title contender to battling it out with the likes of Mark Mania for the Overdrive title to keep you busy at Rasslemania or something. Though, it could always be worse. Remember Ryan Ruckus? The last dickhead that tried to stop from main eventing Rasslemania? Well, he was last seen on a street corner smoking cigarettes with a local bum named Scaggs reminiscing about the time long before he FUCKED with Level-One!

Regardless - I know how much your fans mean to you and thus I would love them to suffer the same depression and withdrawals you'll be going through if it means getting in touch with all of them on a personal level. All I ask of you is that if you are going to accept this gift - that in the event you finally do the world a favor and commit suicide you live stream it on the internet so I can relive it over... and over... and over again with a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction. I thank you for the consideration, buddy!

Lastly, I gave you this camera because after Christmas Chaos and me and Terry Marvin are the one's main eventing Rasslemania - Thursday Night Overdrives will belong to us. We will run the show. We will hold all the marbles. And we'll be calling the shots. Thus, I'm afraid you will be receiving even less camera time then you're already used to. This camera will still allow your cries and complaints to be heard on the internet by anyone dumb enough to listen to them.

He gently places the camera down below his feet and reaches down to pick up CJ Gates finally present. Level-One looks like a kid in a candy store as he tears the wrapping paper of the present with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth to reveal... a replica undisputed title belt.

CJ Gates my last gift to you is a real life replica title belt of the Undisputed Championship that you can now pretend is yours! It's pretty much the real thing - minus the fact my name is engraved in it's nameplate and the strap is specifically fitted to my waist but besides that it pretty much can serve a purpose for all the mirror modeling your pathetic little heart could possibly desire. I mean think if the possibilities!? With your new camera you can take pictures with you and your new belt and upload them to myspace as I am pretty sure anyone still cheering you on is stuck in the past time!

I decided to get you the replica belt because I know that you once had the real thing and knowing that you aren't ever going to get that back really doesn't make me feel good, CJ. I mean - the fact of the matter is, I'm not saying you never deserved to be the champion but I am saying that you have been bettered now. I am saying that your time is up. I am telling you to take this replica belt - shine it up real nice and accept it as a parting gift from you and your long term title aspirations.

I know that replica title isn't going to ever be as good as the real thing CJ but I have already GIVEN you enough. And while you haven't given me any gifts, don't you worry about it. You? You are a gift in of itself. You are an opportunity of a life time, gift wrapped under my Christmas tree...

And I am going to love tearing you apart.