Post by Delikado on Dec 30, 2012 0:26:09 GMT -4
Warning: Final product may vary a little…or a lot. Made solely for fun.
The APW banner flashes across the screen, followed by an echo of thunder. The screen pulls back and takes on an amateurish, grainy look about it, as if the footage is being recorded by an amateurish, grainy camera. Sideways does our camera roll across the horizon, until it comes to an ice cream truck, ringing joyfully. An ice cream man slowly, dramatically sticks his head out the window, and even more slowly and dramatically turns that head toward the camera. A pasty, slender man walks by the truck and the ice cream man extends a pointed finger, as a man in a giant tuna suit looms above the ice cream man in the background. The pasty slender man turns to face the ice cream truck.
Ice Cream Man: IIIIIIIICCCCEEEEE CREEEEEEAAAAAAM, MIIIIIIISTERRRRRRRRRRR?!?!
The pale man turns to the camera and gasps before running along a dock. The truck rolls after him, jingling all the way. We cut to black.
Now the scene cuts to two boats speeding at high speed over the ocean. We see the boat is being guided by the same pasty slender man from before, and also the masked man known as Ewan Jakeway, who is recording everything on a handheld camera. The banner of “Totally Exciting News ‘n Stuff News” is branded across the boat’s side. Cut to black, dramatically.
Continuing the drama, the scene explodes open with the ice cream truck soaring off the dock toward the two speeding boats.
Ice Cream Man: ICCCCCCCCEE CREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!
The truck looks about ready to slam directly into the boat…when the strings guiding it along snap and it falls into the water, several feet away from its intended target.
Director: (voice over) CUT!
Jakeway lowers the camera and shakes his head, visibly dejected at the failed shot.
Director: (voice over) I’m giving you one more chance, Jakeway! If this project’s a bust, I’ll bust you right in your projects!
Ewan Jakeway: (voice over) B-But sir!
Director: (voice over) NO BUTS! Just face it, kid. Nobody wants to watch this surreal shit you’re trying to make. The ratings just aren’t there! The people want drama. REAL drama! With great RATINGS! Like that kind you USED to get! What happened to THAT?!
Jakeway can be seen rubbing his hands over his face as we cut to black.
The scene now opens over a large carnival in a night setting, up and active with lights and people and general carnival stuff. Three rhythmical snaps are heard as we jump to a stage where Moss Carrington steps forward, wearing a top hat and a fake blue perm. An instrumental version of “I Am the Champion” by B.o.B plays over the speakers as Moss begins to sing to the crowd, microphone in hand.
Moss Carrington: *singing* I am the Champion
Jet Carrington appears behind his partner, dressed like Michael Jackson, only with a large Mohawk, to a roar from the crowd.
Jet Carrington: *singing* (champion, champion)
With the song still playing, the scene cuts to Boss Delikado, smoking a cigar as he stands on a balcony, overlooking the carnival. His goatee is thick and his hair has grown in length, giving Da Bawse a slightly older appearance. We cut to his daughter, Dee-Struction-Forte, playing with dolls (err, action figures) of APW superstars in the room next to the balcony, Dee-Struction’s papa visible in the background. Ariel Hassle, Delikado’s pregnant girlfriend, sits on a stool looking at herself in the mirror. She idly brushes her darkened, blond hair, looking distant.
Moss: *singing* I am the Champion
Jet: *singing* (champion, champion)
Outside, watching the performance near the back, we see Sofia Monzón and Lily Smith sitting on some bleachers. Lily tiredly rests her head against Sofia’s arm. Somewhere else Ron Reynolds is…oh, who even gives a crap about Ron Reynolds, even in a hype promo?! Shut up, Ron Reynolds!
Moss: *singing* Lights Cameras action
Jet: *singing* (action, action)
Manny Valdez is seen signing fake Delikado autographs on posters that are then shipped in boxes off to APW gift shops. He goes to cough and uses a tissue. Only after he’s done coughing does he realize he’s hacked into his Harvard law degree. Jet grins on-stage as he runs to the middle and throws his head back.
Jet: *high-pitched singing* Whenever I plAaAaAaAay!
Dr. Apartment can be seen mixing drinks at a carnival bar, then pouring them into champagne bottles. Along the way he injects a syringe into each beverage, but it’s unclear just WHAT he’s mixing in with the champagne that is being carried up to Delikado’s room. We see one last shot of Delikado taking a glass of champagne and downing it, before looking over the lights and magic of his carnival. He smiles at his conquest, as his Cuban eyes burn passionately.
Boss Delikado: (voice over) Delikado’s made it.
The video speeds ahead to Delikado and Sofia standing on the outskirts of the carnival as the sign goes up.
Delikado sits in his new throne as he guides his eyes across the room, made up of the Deli Tee Vee team.
Boss Delikado: Delikado said it before, and he’ll say it again: keeping the APW pristine, as we see fit, has been a bitch. It’s a draining job, but someone’s gotta fight these cocksuckers off.
The Deli Tee Vee gang is seen walking through heavy smoke as people are all around them, booing them and tossing garbage.
Delikado is spinning a champagne bottle as an opponent rushes him in the ring.
Trouble closes in on the team, even as Delikado bites down onto a cigar and tries to look confident.
Boss Delikado: BREAK ‘EM DOWN!!
Delikado is seen pushing Cindy Shannon out of the way. In an apparent uproar about something, he topples a cabinet while Sofia is seen slamming the locker-room door shut.
We cut to Jet Carrington falling to the ground with a busted lip as someone slugs him.
Jet: NOOOOOOOO!!
Delikado stands in the ring with Evan Envi, both men posing with their fists raised in the air.
Dee-Struction looks upward dramatically and with fear.
Lily and Ariel look at a television screen anxiously at what appears to be Delikado standing in the ring, having a stand-off with an unknown person.
Boss Delikado: Delikado’s not gonna stop, he’s gotta break some heads now more than ever.
The gang wields their signature weapons.
Sofia stands in the ring herself, grinning with a burning hatred at Christian Kane.
Evan Envi reaches his hand out to Delikado for a tag, as the Cuban struggles and bleeds.
Delikado flings dual champagne bottles while wearing a championship belt around his waist.
Boss Delikado: There’s gotta be no uncertainty of this FACT! 2013 belongs to Delikado…
Moss/Jet: *faded singing* I am the champion (I am the champion)
We see one large shot of the carnival, an ominous thunderbolt following its appearance…
Boss Delikado: (voice over) And nothing will stand in the way…
The video promo slowly fades to two boats floating helplessly in the water. Ewan Jakeway and his unnamed ally look worse for wear as they lie destitute in the middle of the sea. Their dreams are destroyed. The pasty slender man lifts his head up as a third boat has appeared by the second, empty boat, and people board it.
Obi: Butt-pirates!
Cut to Delikado walking along the empty streets of his carnival.
Ariel Hassle: (voice over) Delikado’s done so much for us…
The Cuban punts a baby doll that he sees lying on the ground and then looks over his shoulder.
Jakeway and his partner are riding in the third boat that took them from their wrecked one. The masked man sighs weakly as he looks from a window toward a man sitting opposite of him in the shadows.
?: *to cell-phone* There was nothing on those boats but these two. *to Jakeway* We’ll be arriving shortly.
Delikado is jumping out of his Smart Car Monster Truck, walking toward an arena for Overdrive.
Ariel: Are you sure you’re up for all this?
Delikado looks to Ariel as she holds her enlarged stomach.
Boss Delikado: Positive. Everyone loves Delikado—
We cut to a fist holding a railroad spike, a shadowy man pouring whiskey into a barrel, and then walking away from a burning Deli Tee Vee building in the snow.
Kurt Noble and Delikado are getting eye-to-eye, yelling aggressively at one another.
Evan Envi and Delikado are again posing separately in the ring, though one can’t help but notice a questionable, disturbed look pass between them.
Delikado fights it out with several wrestlers in the ring, though you can only really see who through slow motion freeze-frame. (message me for names)
Delikado grins at Ariel.
Boss Delikado: --even if they hate him.
Now Jakeway and his partner are being herded onto a helicopter.
Jakeway: Please, you have to understand! I’m a tabloid publicist hungry ratings, turned surrealist and occasional snuff-film producer! One of the GOOD guys!
We get a close-up shot of the Sunday Night Asylum poster as Delikado’s words ring out. We see shots of various members of the audience as they listen, but no sign of Delikado is visible.
Boss Delikado: *off-screen* THANK DELIKADO! THANK HIM LOTS FOR WHAT HE’S DONE FOR YOU!! You think anyone, here or anywhere else in the APW, could still be in a job, still even EXIST without me!? Wrong!! If Delikado walks now, you’ll all be jobless in less than a year! If Delikado decides to stay in the back, if he refuses to compete, you’ll be HOMELESS in a MONTH!!
Delikado flings an unknown championship belt into the river and then looks to the camera.
Riding in the helicopter, Jakeway’s partner looks to the man in the shadows from earlier.
Obi: We are American citizens. You have NO right to do this!
?: I understand your rage, if only because it very much represents the common emotion of the “American citizens.”
An unknown person kicks Dee-Struction’s dolls aside as she cries.
Foaming at the mouth, Mister Cuba smacks and then lunges at Manny Valdez.
The DTV team is seen brawling inside the carnival’s large tent with various individuals.
Ariel screams in agony as she lies on a bed and clutches her stomach, Jet Carrington is off to the side in surgeon clothes.
Delikado hoists up a glass sculpture of the Deli Tee Vee logo and flings it through the APW banner, destroying both.
Jakeway squirms in the helicopter to try and get free.
Jakeway: I swear to you, good sir, that we don’t belong here!
Delikado is in the ring, leaning over the ropes and grinning as his allies stand at his back.
Sofia grabs Cindy Shannon and plants a kiss on her lips; she then does the same to Shane West before walking away.
The Carringtons kneel before Delikado in his throne.
Dr. Apartment sets fire to documents, looking mournful as he does so.
Delikado exchanges an elaborate handshake with Terry Marvin and then turns to another man, kicking him in the face and sending him hurling into a door, slamming it shut in the process.
The man in the helicopter stands up and walks toward the door. He opens it slowly, letting in sunlight and revealing a HUGE cruise ship in the middle of the sea.
?: I’ve seen your record. The world you’ve been part of is so tainted, a living Hell if there ever was one. I want to tell you from my perspective, it’s the kind of world that makes you question if there can really be a Heaven, a Utopia, waiting for us…
The man turns his head toward Jakeway and Obi, the light shining on his face to reveal him to the world. Jakeway and Obi squint as they look out the helicopter at the sight. The man makes a grand hand-gesture toward the colossal cruise ship.
John Charles Noble: I also want to tell you that there is such a place. This... is Utopia, right here on Earth.
(repeat until the end if necessary)
Jakeway and Obi walk on the deck of the ship Utopia, with Charles Noble at their side.
Charles Noble: It’s been a long journey for you both. Stay a while, kick your feet up, and share in a more… livable life.
Obi steps forward.
Obi: You say “livable”, I hear “liberal”, free-loader!
We see Charles Noble standing in a darkened room, a dull red light befalling him as he steps forward. A numb look is etched into his facial features.
We see the carnival. We see the various APW arenas. We see the people filing in to both.
Ariel places a hand on Delikado’s shoulder, trying to comfort and reason with the Cuban.
Ariel: I know you, Deli. You’re not insane like they try to proclaim. I see it: You’re a good person.
Delikado smacks her hand away.
Boss Delikado: Get your preggo hand off Delikado! I don’t need to be catching your plague!
Elsewhere, Jet and Moss are seen having a sit-down.
Moss: We deserve BETTER than this, Jet. For God’s sake we were CHAMPIONS at one time, now we’re cannon fodder!
Jet: Yeah well I’m cannon fodder who just got LAID! So YOU can suck on being a Champion forever and ever ago, while I’ll stick to having bitches sucking on my—
Moss: That was a dude.
Jet: I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!!!
Back on Utopia, Jakeway is looking over the “world” that has been created, as people go about living their lives modestly and happily, indeed, much like the definition of the word utopia.
Jakeway: This place…is seriously like Disneyland on crack, only if crack wasn’t whack but sexyback. It's like your first child without all the sleepless nights, diaper changing...and...well...the child itself. I’m sorry I’m just…at a loss for……….spelunking.
Charles Noble: We have that.
Jakeway: Holy sneakers you're awesome.
Noble, with Jakeway and Obi, is then seen sitting in a modest dining room.
Charles Noble: So where is it you’ve come from?
Jakeway: I’m in a slump, disgrace even. I just can’t find the stories anymore. And before that…
Delikado blows cigar smoke at the camera and then uses his lighter on a rope. A catapult proceeds to launch beehives and hand sanitizer through the air.
Jakeway: I worked alongside some…questionable individuals.
We rejoin Delikado and Ariel Hassle as they stand on a rooftop overlooking the carnival.
Ariel: I trust you. I KNOW you’ll do what’s best for all of us, APW included.
Standing behind his pregnant girlfriend, Delikado slowly pulls out a corkscrew from his back pocket.
Boss Delikado: Oh yes Deli will…
We cut to Delikado sitting and smoking in a lounge chair by the Pirate Ship Ride, when something catches his attention and he looks up.
Charles Noble is staring into a camera as he leans forward, an inspired and determined look in his solid eyes.
Charles Noble: It’s time to start undoing the damage that’s been done on this world by the maniacs you know.
Noble is now seen exiting a helicopter amidst paparazzi.
Delikado and the gang turn their heads slowly and dramatically.
Delikado, Sofia, and the Carringtons walk toward Charles Noble.
Charles Noble and Delikado are eye-to-eye as they close the gap between each other. Like two old western cowboys they collide.
Boss Delikado: You think you can just enter Delikado’s APW and do as you PLEASE?! Fool! Everything you see belongs to Delikado. Before you know, everything you’ve EVER seen will be mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine-hahaha!
Lily Smith, Dee-Struction, and Moss Carrington are shoved into police cars.
Delikado rolls his neck as he grins deviously at Chris Strike.
Manny Valdez is seen trying to pull Dr. Apartment away from Lily, as the two seem to be in some sort of scuffle.
The Deli Tee Vee logo falls into the ocean as ice sinks all around it.
Shadow tackles Delikado and begins choking him relentlessly.
Dee-Struction lifts up her own champagne bottle, swinging it threateningly at an approaching figure dressed like a smiling apple.
Sofia leaps atop a pony on the merry-go-round and cracks her whip harshly.
A ghoulish carnie steps through an open door.
Obi rides in a small boat across choppy seas as rain falls on him.
Delikado finishes spray-painting ‘APW 4 EVA’ onto a building.
Lily Smith smashes a whole jar of perfume into the face of another woman.
Charles Noble kisses his hand and presses it to the screen.
Sofia whips an opponent in the head, and then wraps the whip around their throats, headbutting the person before kicking them to the ground with finality.
Delikado laughs insanely as he makes an angel in foam on the ground.
Delikado rushes down the ramp toward the ring.
Boss Delikado: YOU BETRAYED DELIKADO!!!
Obi lurks in the shadows of Utopia.
Jakeway: What the FUDGE is happening to us?!
Ariel, heavily pregnant, kisses Manny Valdez on the top of his head as fireworks go off in the background.
Sofia uncurls her whip at an off-screen person.
Sofia Monzón: And just why the hell should I trust you…?
Ron Reynolds screams as he falls off some sort of electrical tower.
Charles Noble grips a steel chair and brings it crushingly down atop someone.
Delikado hangs his head, almost in dismay, as the sun goes down behind him.
Boss Delikado: (voice over) If you really believe there’s anyone, anyone at all, who is better than Delikado.
A television broadcast reading “Deli Tee Vee: Cancelled?” pops up.
Delikado chains a man by his feet to a pole.
Dee-Struction sits in the center of an empty wrestling ring.
Lily, Ariel and Dee-Struction pose cutely in unison, with the carnival at their backs.
Sofia, with a look of dark amusement, taps a tip of barbed wire.
Jet and Moss Carrington pop corks off champagne bottles and “Hoo-rah!"
Charles Noble sits calmly on the edge of the cruise ship, the name "Utopia" written behind him in heavy, bold letters.
A clock counts down rapidly behind Delikado, as a large collection of fireworks is gathered below him.
Boss Delikado: (voice over) Put Delikado in a room with them. He’ll prove ya wrong.
The scene cuts to black, and a grand explosion is heard as our title appears.
Next year on “BOSS”…
The APW banner flashes across the screen, followed by an echo of thunder. The screen pulls back and takes on an amateurish, grainy look about it, as if the footage is being recorded by an amateurish, grainy camera. Sideways does our camera roll across the horizon, until it comes to an ice cream truck, ringing joyfully. An ice cream man slowly, dramatically sticks his head out the window, and even more slowly and dramatically turns that head toward the camera. A pasty, slender man walks by the truck and the ice cream man extends a pointed finger, as a man in a giant tuna suit looms above the ice cream man in the background. The pasty slender man turns to face the ice cream truck.
Ice Cream Man: IIIIIIIICCCCEEEEE CREEEEEEAAAAAAM, MIIIIIIISTERRRRRRRRRRR?!?!
The pale man turns to the camera and gasps before running along a dock. The truck rolls after him, jingling all the way. We cut to black.
Now the scene cuts to two boats speeding at high speed over the ocean. We see the boat is being guided by the same pasty slender man from before, and also the masked man known as Ewan Jakeway, who is recording everything on a handheld camera. The banner of “Totally Exciting News ‘n Stuff News” is branded across the boat’s side. Cut to black, dramatically.
Continuing the drama, the scene explodes open with the ice cream truck soaring off the dock toward the two speeding boats.
Ice Cream Man: ICCCCCCCCEE CREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!
The truck looks about ready to slam directly into the boat…when the strings guiding it along snap and it falls into the water, several feet away from its intended target.
Director: (voice over) CUT!
Jakeway lowers the camera and shakes his head, visibly dejected at the failed shot.
Director: (voice over) I’m giving you one more chance, Jakeway! If this project’s a bust, I’ll bust you right in your projects!
Ewan Jakeway: (voice over) B-But sir!
Director: (voice over) NO BUTS! Just face it, kid. Nobody wants to watch this surreal shit you’re trying to make. The ratings just aren’t there! The people want drama. REAL drama! With great RATINGS! Like that kind you USED to get! What happened to THAT?!
Jakeway can be seen rubbing his hands over his face as we cut to black.
A “Some-Kinda-Something-Productions” Production
The scene now opens over a large carnival in a night setting, up and active with lights and people and general carnival stuff. Three rhythmical snaps are heard as we jump to a stage where Moss Carrington steps forward, wearing a top hat and a fake blue perm. An instrumental version of “I Am the Champion” by B.o.B plays over the speakers as Moss begins to sing to the crowd, microphone in hand.
Moss Carrington: *singing* I am the Champion
Jet Carrington appears behind his partner, dressed like Michael Jackson, only with a large Mohawk, to a roar from the crowd.
Jet Carrington: *singing* (champion, champion)
With the song still playing, the scene cuts to Boss Delikado, smoking a cigar as he stands on a balcony, overlooking the carnival. His goatee is thick and his hair has grown in length, giving Da Bawse a slightly older appearance. We cut to his daughter, Dee-Struction-Forte, playing with dolls (err, action figures) of APW superstars in the room next to the balcony, Dee-Struction’s papa visible in the background. Ariel Hassle, Delikado’s pregnant girlfriend, sits on a stool looking at herself in the mirror. She idly brushes her darkened, blond hair, looking distant.
Moss: *singing* I am the Champion
Jet: *singing* (champion, champion)
Outside, watching the performance near the back, we see Sofia Monzón and Lily Smith sitting on some bleachers. Lily tiredly rests her head against Sofia’s arm. Somewhere else Ron Reynolds is…oh, who even gives a crap about Ron Reynolds, even in a hype promo?! Shut up, Ron Reynolds!
Moss: *singing* Lights Cameras action
Jet: *singing* (action, action)
Manny Valdez is seen signing fake Delikado autographs on posters that are then shipped in boxes off to APW gift shops. He goes to cough and uses a tissue. Only after he’s done coughing does he realize he’s hacked into his Harvard law degree. Jet grins on-stage as he runs to the middle and throws his head back.
Jet: *high-pitched singing* Whenever I plAaAaAaAay!
Dr. Apartment can be seen mixing drinks at a carnival bar, then pouring them into champagne bottles. Along the way he injects a syringe into each beverage, but it’s unclear just WHAT he’s mixing in with the champagne that is being carried up to Delikado’s room. We see one last shot of Delikado taking a glass of champagne and downing it, before looking over the lights and magic of his carnival. He smiles at his conquest, as his Cuban eyes burn passionately.
Boss Delikado: (voice over) Delikado’s made it.
The video speeds ahead to Delikado and Sofia standing on the outskirts of the carnival as the sign goes up.
Delikado sits in his new throne as he guides his eyes across the room, made up of the Deli Tee Vee team.
Boss Delikado: Delikado said it before, and he’ll say it again: keeping the APW pristine, as we see fit, has been a bitch. It’s a draining job, but someone’s gotta fight these cocksuckers off.
The Deli Tee Vee gang is seen walking through heavy smoke as people are all around them, booing them and tossing garbage.
Delikado is spinning a champagne bottle as an opponent rushes him in the ring.
Trouble closes in on the team, even as Delikado bites down onto a cigar and tries to look confident.
Boss Delikado: BREAK ‘EM DOWN!!
Delikado is seen pushing Cindy Shannon out of the way. In an apparent uproar about something, he topples a cabinet while Sofia is seen slamming the locker-room door shut.
We cut to Jet Carrington falling to the ground with a busted lip as someone slugs him.
Jet: NOOOOOOOO!!
Delikado stands in the ring with Evan Envi, both men posing with their fists raised in the air.
Dee-Struction looks upward dramatically and with fear.
Lily and Ariel look at a television screen anxiously at what appears to be Delikado standing in the ring, having a stand-off with an unknown person.
Boss Delikado: Delikado’s not gonna stop, he’s gotta break some heads now more than ever.
The gang wields their signature weapons.
Sofia stands in the ring herself, grinning with a burning hatred at Christian Kane.
Evan Envi reaches his hand out to Delikado for a tag, as the Cuban struggles and bleeds.
Delikado flings dual champagne bottles while wearing a championship belt around his waist.
Boss Delikado: There’s gotta be no uncertainty of this FACT! 2013 belongs to Delikado…
Moss/Jet: *faded singing* I am the champion (I am the champion)
We see one large shot of the carnival, an ominous thunderbolt following its appearance…
Boss Delikado: (voice over) And nothing will stand in the way…
The video promo slowly fades to two boats floating helplessly in the water. Ewan Jakeway and his unnamed ally look worse for wear as they lie destitute in the middle of the sea. Their dreams are destroyed. The pasty slender man lifts his head up as a third boat has appeared by the second, empty boat, and people board it.
Obi: Butt-pirates!
Cut to Delikado walking along the empty streets of his carnival.
Ariel Hassle: (voice over) Delikado’s done so much for us…
The Cuban punts a baby doll that he sees lying on the ground and then looks over his shoulder.
Jakeway and his partner are riding in the third boat that took them from their wrecked one. The masked man sighs weakly as he looks from a window toward a man sitting opposite of him in the shadows.
?: *to cell-phone* There was nothing on those boats but these two. *to Jakeway* We’ll be arriving shortly.
Delikado is jumping out of his Smart Car Monster Truck, walking toward an arena for Overdrive.
Ariel: Are you sure you’re up for all this?
Delikado looks to Ariel as she holds her enlarged stomach.
Boss Delikado: Positive. Everyone loves Delikado—
We cut to a fist holding a railroad spike, a shadowy man pouring whiskey into a barrel, and then walking away from a burning Deli Tee Vee building in the snow.
Kurt Noble and Delikado are getting eye-to-eye, yelling aggressively at one another.
Evan Envi and Delikado are again posing separately in the ring, though one can’t help but notice a questionable, disturbed look pass between them.
Delikado fights it out with several wrestlers in the ring, though you can only really see who through slow motion freeze-frame. (message me for names)
Delikado grins at Ariel.
Boss Delikado: --even if they hate him.
Now Jakeway and his partner are being herded onto a helicopter.
Jakeway: Please, you have to understand! I’m a tabloid publicist hungry ratings, turned surrealist and occasional snuff-film producer! One of the GOOD guys!
We get a close-up shot of the Sunday Night Asylum poster as Delikado’s words ring out. We see shots of various members of the audience as they listen, but no sign of Delikado is visible.
Boss Delikado: *off-screen* THANK DELIKADO! THANK HIM LOTS FOR WHAT HE’S DONE FOR YOU!! You think anyone, here or anywhere else in the APW, could still be in a job, still even EXIST without me!? Wrong!! If Delikado walks now, you’ll all be jobless in less than a year! If Delikado decides to stay in the back, if he refuses to compete, you’ll be HOMELESS in a MONTH!!
Delikado flings an unknown championship belt into the river and then looks to the camera.
Riding in the helicopter, Jakeway’s partner looks to the man in the shadows from earlier.
Obi: We are American citizens. You have NO right to do this!
?: I understand your rage, if only because it very much represents the common emotion of the “American citizens.”
An unknown person kicks Dee-Struction’s dolls aside as she cries.
Foaming at the mouth, Mister Cuba smacks and then lunges at Manny Valdez.
The DTV team is seen brawling inside the carnival’s large tent with various individuals.
Ariel screams in agony as she lies on a bed and clutches her stomach, Jet Carrington is off to the side in surgeon clothes.
Delikado hoists up a glass sculpture of the Deli Tee Vee logo and flings it through the APW banner, destroying both.
Jakeway squirms in the helicopter to try and get free.
Jakeway: I swear to you, good sir, that we don’t belong here!
Delikado is in the ring, leaning over the ropes and grinning as his allies stand at his back.
Sofia grabs Cindy Shannon and plants a kiss on her lips; she then does the same to Shane West before walking away.
The Carringtons kneel before Delikado in his throne.
Dr. Apartment sets fire to documents, looking mournful as he does so.
Delikado exchanges an elaborate handshake with Terry Marvin and then turns to another man, kicking him in the face and sending him hurling into a door, slamming it shut in the process.
The man in the helicopter stands up and walks toward the door. He opens it slowly, letting in sunlight and revealing a HUGE cruise ship in the middle of the sea.
?: I’ve seen your record. The world you’ve been part of is so tainted, a living Hell if there ever was one. I want to tell you from my perspective, it’s the kind of world that makes you question if there can really be a Heaven, a Utopia, waiting for us…
The man turns his head toward Jakeway and Obi, the light shining on his face to reveal him to the world. Jakeway and Obi squint as they look out the helicopter at the sight. The man makes a grand hand-gesture toward the colossal cruise ship.
John Charles Noble: I also want to tell you that there is such a place. This... is Utopia, right here on Earth.
(repeat until the end if necessary)
Some-Kinda-Something-Productions presents
Jakeway and Obi walk on the deck of the ship Utopia, with Charles Noble at their side.
Charles Noble: It’s been a long journey for you both. Stay a while, kick your feet up, and share in a more… livable life.
Obi steps forward.
Obi: You say “livable”, I hear “liberal”, free-loader!
We see Charles Noble standing in a darkened room, a dull red light befalling him as he steps forward. A numb look is etched into his facial features.
”This is the Delikado APW has been waiting for” --Random Twitter quote
We see the carnival. We see the various APW arenas. We see the people filing in to both.
Ariel places a hand on Delikado’s shoulder, trying to comfort and reason with the Cuban.
Ariel: I know you, Deli. You’re not insane like they try to proclaim. I see it: You’re a good person.
Delikado smacks her hand away.
Boss Delikado: Get your preggo hand off Delikado! I don’t need to be catching your plague!
Elsewhere, Jet and Moss are seen having a sit-down.
Moss: We deserve BETTER than this, Jet. For God’s sake we were CHAMPIONS at one time, now we’re cannon fodder!
Jet: Yeah well I’m cannon fodder who just got LAID! So YOU can suck on being a Champion forever and ever ago, while I’ll stick to having bitches sucking on my—
Moss: That was a dude.
Jet: I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!!!
Back on Utopia, Jakeway is looking over the “world” that has been created, as people go about living their lives modestly and happily, indeed, much like the definition of the word utopia.
Jakeway: This place…is seriously like Disneyland on crack, only if crack wasn’t whack but sexyback. It's like your first child without all the sleepless nights, diaper changing...and...well...the child itself. I’m sorry I’m just…at a loss for……….spelunking.
Charles Noble: We have that.
Jakeway: Holy sneakers you're awesome.
Noble, with Jakeway and Obi, is then seen sitting in a modest dining room.
Charles Noble: So where is it you’ve come from?
Jakeway: I’m in a slump, disgrace even. I just can’t find the stories anymore. And before that…
Delikado blows cigar smoke at the camera and then uses his lighter on a rope. A catapult proceeds to launch beehives and hand sanitizer through the air.
Jakeway: I worked alongside some…questionable individuals.
We rejoin Delikado and Ariel Hassle as they stand on a rooftop overlooking the carnival.
Ariel: I trust you. I KNOW you’ll do what’s best for all of us, APW included.
Standing behind his pregnant girlfriend, Delikado slowly pulls out a corkscrew from his back pocket.
Boss Delikado: Oh yes Deli will…
We cut to Delikado sitting and smoking in a lounge chair by the Pirate Ship Ride, when something catches his attention and he looks up.
Charles Noble is staring into a camera as he leans forward, an inspired and determined look in his solid eyes.
Charles Noble: It’s time to start undoing the damage that’s been done on this world by the maniacs you know.
Noble is now seen exiting a helicopter amidst paparazzi.
Delikado and the gang turn their heads slowly and dramatically.
Delikado, Sofia, and the Carringtons walk toward Charles Noble.
Charles Noble and Delikado are eye-to-eye as they close the gap between each other. Like two old western cowboys they collide.
Boss Delikado: You think you can just enter Delikado’s APW and do as you PLEASE?! Fool! Everything you see belongs to Delikado. Before you know, everything you’ve EVER seen will be mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine-hahaha!
Lily Smith, Dee-Struction, and Moss Carrington are shoved into police cars.
2013
Delikado rolls his neck as he grins deviously at Chris Strike.
Manny Valdez is seen trying to pull Dr. Apartment away from Lily, as the two seem to be in some sort of scuffle.
The Deli Tee Vee logo falls into the ocean as ice sinks all around it.
Shadow tackles Delikado and begins choking him relentlessly.
Dee-Struction lifts up her own champagne bottle, swinging it threateningly at an approaching figure dressed like a smiling apple.
Sofia leaps atop a pony on the merry-go-round and cracks her whip harshly.
In the land of the insane
A ghoulish carnie steps through an open door.
Obi rides in a small boat across choppy seas as rain falls on him.
Delikado finishes spray-painting ‘APW 4 EVA’ onto a building.
Lily Smith smashes a whole jar of perfume into the face of another woman.
Charles Noble kisses his hand and presses it to the screen.
Sofia whips an opponent in the head, and then wraps the whip around their throats, headbutting the person before kicking them to the ground with finality.
Delikado laughs insanely as he makes an angel in foam on the ground.
Watch out for the sane
Delikado rushes down the ramp toward the ring.
Boss Delikado: YOU BETRAYED DELIKADO!!!
Obi lurks in the shadows of Utopia.
Jakeway: What the FUDGE is happening to us?!
Ariel, heavily pregnant, kisses Manny Valdez on the top of his head as fireworks go off in the background.
Sofia uncurls her whip at an off-screen person.
Sofia Monzón: And just why the hell should I trust you…?
Ron Reynolds screams as he falls off some sort of electrical tower.
Charles Noble grips a steel chair and brings it crushingly down atop someone.
Delikado hangs his head, almost in dismay, as the sun goes down behind him.
Boss Delikado: (voice over) If you really believe there’s anyone, anyone at all, who is better than Delikado.
A television broadcast reading “Deli Tee Vee: Cancelled?” pops up.
Delikado chains a man by his feet to a pole.
Dee-Struction sits in the center of an empty wrestling ring.
Lily, Ariel and Dee-Struction pose cutely in unison, with the carnival at their backs.
Sofia, with a look of dark amusement, taps a tip of barbed wire.
Jet and Moss Carrington pop corks off champagne bottles and “Hoo-rah!"
Charles Noble sits calmly on the edge of the cruise ship, the name "Utopia" written behind him in heavy, bold letters.
A clock counts down rapidly behind Delikado, as a large collection of fireworks is gathered below him.
Boss Delikado: (voice over) Put Delikado in a room with them. He’ll prove ya wrong.
The scene cuts to black, and a grand explosion is heard as our title appears.
Some-Kinda-Something-Productions presents
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