Post by President Jeff on Mar 17, 2008 10:15:50 GMT -4
Overdrive starts with a recap from last week’s main event. Clips of the match between Kenny Lambaro and Vinnie Hardcore is shown as they fight to crown a number one contender for John Green’s title. You then see Trevor Blackwell get into the ring and hit Vinnie with the Singapore Cane as the ref is knocked out. Kenny hits the Ego Crusher and covers him and the ref comes to and counts. After Kenny wins, Vinnie and Trevor start brawling and John Green gets into the ring. Green and Kenny are left standing in the ring looking at each other as the scene fades to the opening video for Overdrive.
Once the video ends, pyro shoots through out the arena and the camera then goes to ringside with Darren Harvey and Johnny Chase
Harvey: Welcome to Ovedrive and this is our last stop before going to Madison Square Garden for Rasslemania 4.
Chase: And what an event that should be and what a show we have for you tonight.
Harvey: A huge 6 man tag match which will be a preview of the matches to take place at Rasslemania, just 13 days away.
Chase: We also have Fyre Angel taking on Sabur as well as Jason Royce takes on Michael Lively.
Harvey: I gotten word before going on the air that both Mike Basten and El Sueno are not here tonight and have been suspended from APW, so their match will not take place tonight, but lets kick off with a triple threat match between 3 people who are making their APW in ring debut.
Chase: It should be a good one
Harvey: Our boss, Jeff, has given the three newest members to the roster a chance to go onto Rasslmania, and contend to be it’s first ever Overdrive Champion.
Chase: And let me tell you. First time Champions are Champions that go down in the history books, and you know that these up and comers are going to be fighting their hearts out for that chance tonight!
Tony: This is a Triple Threat Debut Match, scheduled for one fall. The winner will be going on to Rasslmania for a shot at the newest APW title, The Overdrive Championship! Introducing first, standing a full five foot five inches tall… She is a member of “Sex & Violence”, and the right hand of his Lord Kaos! “That Girl” Diana Steel!
The crowd hushed to a silence as these solemn words echoed through the arena in a deep voice:
And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.
Then we hear the opening drum beat from “Shipping up to Boston” by the Dropkick Murphys pounded through the speakers of the dark arena as a light illuminated the smirking face of Diana Steel at the end of the ramp. She strutted down toward the ring, trying not to let her adrenaline take over completely. As Al Barr started yelling the lyrics Diana reached the ring, impressing the crowd by doing a sort of back flip into it. She basked in the familiar feeling in the room for a moment before leaning against the ropes to await her opponents!
Harvey: Got to give it to the little girl, she is quite the contender.
Chase: I think she’s cute…
Tony: And her first challenger. From Toronto Onterio, weighing in at 209 lbs, Justin Job!
Just then “Naveed” by Our Lady Piece hits, and Justin Job makes his way out onto the stage. He raises his left arm, as pyro shoots off behind him. The camera pan’s out to a crowd of mixed reactions, and to the signature ‘’everyone needs a Job-ber’’ posters, in which some fans excitingly hold up.
Chase: Justin Job! That’s his name, game, and claim to fame.
Harvey: No that’s Vinnie Hardcore!
Chase: No! Vinnie Hardcore is no jobber!
Harvey: That’s not what I meant!
Chase: Yes it is!
Justin jumps up onto the apron, before falling over the top rope and into the ring. He gives the crowd thumbs up, before hoping back to his feet and the fans laugh hysterically. Diana simply shakes her head, giggling to herself. “Last Man Standing” by Hammerfall hits the P.A., and out walks Jordan Stevens.
Harvey: And finally APW presents the debut of Jordan Stevens! Jordan Stevens… Is, well… Chase, help me out here.
Chase: Don't you know everything?
Harvey: Now is not the time to argue!
Chase: Geez, you sound like my wife! Jordan Stevens is an unknown guy, from parts unknown…
Tony: And from Pennsylvania, weighing in at 218 lbs, Jordan Stevens!
Stevens walks down the ramp, paying no attention to the crowd what so ever. He slides into the ring to be immediately assaulted with boots from Justin, and Diana. The referee rings the bell, and starts the match.
Winner goes to Rasslemania and fights for a shot at the Overdrive Title
DIANA STEEL VS JORDON STEVENS VS JUSTIN JOB[/center]
Diana Steel, and Justin Job hoist Jordan Stevens up to his feet, and in a combined effort Whip him into the ropes. Stevens returns running into a Double Clothesline from the two cruiserweights. Stevens hits the mat, and Job gives Diana a “thumbs up” with a smile. The good gesture is followed by a Springboard Hurricanrana from Steel. Stevens returns to his feet, and nails Diana in the back of the head like the raging beast he is! Diana goes face first into the mat, and JJ is back to his feet. Stevens opens his attack with a Punch that gets blocked by Justin. Job returns with a punch of his own, only to be blocked in turn by Stevens. Diana kips to her feet, and hits the top turnbuckle, as Stevens goes for a Suplex. Jordan stalls for just the second it took for Diana to come soaring off the top rope with a Flying Crossbody that took Just’N “Time2” Job down HARD. Stevens, and Diana are back to their feet, and lock up in the center of the ring. “That Girl” goes for the Whip on Jordan Stevens, but Stevens reverses, and Diana goes running to the ropes instead. She returns ducking underneath a Clothesline, and then returns again to duck yet another Clothesline. Justin Job is to his feet, and Diana returns again. Stevens grabs her around the knees, and falls back as he lifts. JJ comes runs, and jumps, grabbing Diana’s head for the Cutter.
The crowd roars “3-D!”
Harvey: And what an entrance for these three new comers to make here in the APW!
Chase: Do you know whose winning?
Harvey: I don’t think I care…
Jordan, and Justin now take a turn to lock up in the middle of the ring, and Job Whips his opponent into the turnbuckle. Justin charges, but Stevens sends a boot into his face. Job stumbles back, and Stevens hit the middle turnbuckle. He goes for a Double Axe Handle, but JJ ducks to the side, and Jordan lands on his feet only to be met with a jaw cracking Superkick. The crowd gives a bit of a cheer, and Job goes for the pin on Jordan Stevens, as Diana Steel gets back to her feet…
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Diana Steel baseball slides into the side of Justin’s head, and breaks the pin.
Chase: And Diana Steel saves herself the loss.
Harvey: That’s right. In Triple Threat rules, the name of the game is pin to win…
Chase: You really do spend all night coming up with this dribble, don’t you Harv?
Justin rolls to the corner, and Diana gets to her feet. Steel charges the Jobber, and hits with a Spinning Wheel Kick that lays him out on the mat next to the corner. Diana goes to the tope, and nails the most beautiful Split Leg Moonsault that you ever want to see. The fans cheer, and Diana kips to her feet, and strikes a very Kenny Lambardo “I am God” pose.
The fans cheer even louder!
Chase: Wonder where I’ve seen that before?
Harvey: Kenny Lambardo.
Chase: You have got to be joking me…
Jordan gets to his feet. Diana turns to face her assailant, and he charges with a Spear, but the veteran to the ring, “That Girl” Diana Steel, Leap Frogs with a twist, and nails The Coward’s Mark. Jordan Stevens rolls out of the ring holding his back as Justin Job climbs back to posture, and Diana kips again. Justin Job explodes out of the corner, and gets taken to the mat one more time by a gorgeous BOOM! HEADSHOT! The fans absolutely explode, and Diana strikes yet another “I am God” pose.
Harvey: Why the hell hasn’t she tried to pin somebody yet?
Chase: Maybe she’s just getting started.
Diana slides out of the ring, next to Jordan Stevens. Stevens is on one knee, and propped on the apron, as Diana Steel takes him by the head, and goes running towards the steel post. Jordan blocks with a leg, and takes Diana by the hair, and slams her head first into the steel post, splitting her forehead. She tumbles onto the steel steps, but Stevens gets another fist full of hair, as Justin Job is back up inside the ring. Jordan Stevens tosses Diana back into the ring, and follows. Job comes on the attack with a never ending supply of boots to Diana’s face. He give Jordan the “thumbs up”, and the two clasp hands for a Double Elbow Drop. The two are up to their feet, and stomping on Diana as the fans give more than a bit of a cheer.
Harvey: That’s not fair! They’re double teaming Diana!
Chase: Wouldn’t you want to double team Diana Steel?
Harvey: yes…
Chase: You’re a kinky bastard…
Just’N “Time2” Job puts his fists to his hips with a ridiculous smile posing for the crowd. Jordan Stevens stops at this, and cocks his head sideways. Stevens Kicks Job in the gut, and drives him to the canvas with a DDT. Jordan hooks the leg for the pin.
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Justin Job kicks out with authority! He kips to his feet, as Stevens returns to his. JJ charges with a Dropkick into Steven’s chest, and Steven’s stumbles back. Justin runs again, and nearly takes Jordan’s head off with a Jumping Clothesline. Jordan is quick back to his feet however, but gets a mouth full of boot for the trouble as JJ hits with the Pele Kick. Diana starts to get to her feet, and Justin Job hits the top turnbuckle. He soars for a 450 Frog Splash on Stevens, and keeps for the pin.
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Diana lands a running Elbow Drop on the back of the Jobber’s head to break up the fall!
Harvey: “That Girl” Diana Steel, again saving the match up for herself.
Chase: Not only that, but that was two times that she screwed Justin Job out of the win!
Harvey: Gotta hand it to the guy, he showing off a lot of talent tonight!
Diana lifts Justin up and gives him a european uppercut. Justin falls into the ropes. He bounces off and goes for a clothesline on Diana. Diana ducks and then Jordan gets to his feet. Both Diana and Justin see him and they both Super Kick him. Jordon goes down and both Diana and Justin hook a leg and cover Jordon and the ref counts.
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Chase: Did two people just win a triple threat match?
Harvey: I think so.
Chase: Does this mean that both of them are going to Rasslemania and are fighting for a shot at the Overdrive title that is to be determined on the Overdrive after Rasslemania?
Harvey: It looks like it Johnny.
Chase: A crazy way to kick off Overdrive.
The camera opens backstage to see none other than two or the biggest names in the history of wrestling.
Trevor: You can’t be serious…
The first was renown throughout the world as the Hardcore Icon. He stood tall, carrying his Singapore Cane, and Extreme Title like the broadsword, and shield to match his blood soaked leather armor, “The Sons of Carthage” jacket. He was King of the Royal Blackwell line, and hailed as the “Excellence of Extreme”. I present to you, your APW Extreme Heavyweight Champion, “The Career Killer” Trevor Blackwell. Hardcore God!
Kenny: And it’s all for the good of APW…
The next was renown throughout the world as the cockiest son of a bitch on two legs. He wore his typical camo pants, “Reign of Kaos” bandana, and MONSTER Jacket. He was “The High Flyiah Messiah”, and the number one contender to Jon Green’s APW World Heavyweight Championship. “The Most Controversial Man in Television Today”, I give to you “The Ego Crusher” Sgt. Kenny Lambardo. KaotiK God!
Kenny noticed Emry with his camera, peeking around the corner, and signaled him over.
Kenny: Well if we’re going to really start some shit, then the fans might as well get to hear about it!
Trevor: What the hell are you doing! This is just some idea you had, and now you’re going to announce it on national television! I can’t believe that I’m going to be forced to be a part of it?
Kenny: Well if you would just shut up for a second, no one will be the wiser…
Lambardo snaps his fingers at the lens, and the words “KAOS KAM!” appear under the APW logo. Lambardo flashed that famous grin.
Trevor: You really do get off on yourself don’t you?
Kenny: Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Women 18 or older! “Sex & Violence” proudly bring to you everything that’s wrong with television today, everyone’s favorite hostile takeover, APW “KAOS KAM!” Now all I have to say is… Kaos is main eventing Rasslemania baby! I might live on Long Island now, but I was born, and raised in Hell’s Kitchen. Downtown Manhatten, just a stone’s throw away from Madison Square Garden! Not to far away from the place that you could say started my wrestling career, Bellvue Asylum for the criminally insane. In less than two weeks Kenny Lambardo is coming back home to take the APW World Heavyweight Championship, and the true Reign of Kaos begins at live next Sunday night at Action Packed Wrestling’s RASSLEMANIA!!!
“The KaotiK” gets cut off by a repetitive slapping sound.
Kenny: The hell is that?
Trevor: Sounds like somebody jerking off.
The Dynamic Duo move towards the origins of the noise, as the noise gets faster, and a bit louder. The gods find their way to a locker room door that is slightly ajar to hear two people playing a very intense game of patty cake.
Lil Dick: Patty Cake! PATTY Cake! PATTY CAKE!
The sound gets faster, and you can start to hear giggling in the background.
Trevor: Who the hell is that?
Kenny: Sounds like Sabur playing with his little dick!
Sabur: MOOO!
Sabur is panting, as the game is getting faster, and faster. His Lil Dick is moving so fast that it’s about to burst!
Kenny: Well that was a rather happy moo.
Sabur: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sabur Moos uncontrollably as we hear a crash from the inside of the locker room, and Trevor gets covered in a creamy white liquid that splashes out from the cracked door. Kenny laughs.
Trevor: You want to know what’s worse?
Kenny: What?
Trevor: It’s milk…
Kenny: I don’t even want to know… Sorry ladies and gents, but after a spectacle like that I just need to call it a night!
Lambardo closes the door, and the screen fades to a black background with the green “MONSTER M” logo as APW goes to commercial from our sponsors.
[/b]
Once the video ends, pyro shoots through out the arena and the camera then goes to ringside with Darren Harvey and Johnny Chase
Harvey: Welcome to Ovedrive and this is our last stop before going to Madison Square Garden for Rasslemania 4.
Chase: And what an event that should be and what a show we have for you tonight.
Harvey: A huge 6 man tag match which will be a preview of the matches to take place at Rasslemania, just 13 days away.
Chase: We also have Fyre Angel taking on Sabur as well as Jason Royce takes on Michael Lively.
Harvey: I gotten word before going on the air that both Mike Basten and El Sueno are not here tonight and have been suspended from APW, so their match will not take place tonight, but lets kick off with a triple threat match between 3 people who are making their APW in ring debut.
Chase: It should be a good one
Harvey: Our boss, Jeff, has given the three newest members to the roster a chance to go onto Rasslmania, and contend to be it’s first ever Overdrive Champion.
Chase: And let me tell you. First time Champions are Champions that go down in the history books, and you know that these up and comers are going to be fighting their hearts out for that chance tonight!
Tony: This is a Triple Threat Debut Match, scheduled for one fall. The winner will be going on to Rasslmania for a shot at the newest APW title, The Overdrive Championship! Introducing first, standing a full five foot five inches tall… She is a member of “Sex & Violence”, and the right hand of his Lord Kaos! “That Girl” Diana Steel!
The crowd hushed to a silence as these solemn words echoed through the arena in a deep voice:
And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.
Then we hear the opening drum beat from “Shipping up to Boston” by the Dropkick Murphys pounded through the speakers of the dark arena as a light illuminated the smirking face of Diana Steel at the end of the ramp. She strutted down toward the ring, trying not to let her adrenaline take over completely. As Al Barr started yelling the lyrics Diana reached the ring, impressing the crowd by doing a sort of back flip into it. She basked in the familiar feeling in the room for a moment before leaning against the ropes to await her opponents!
Harvey: Got to give it to the little girl, she is quite the contender.
Chase: I think she’s cute…
Tony: And her first challenger. From Toronto Onterio, weighing in at 209 lbs, Justin Job!
Just then “Naveed” by Our Lady Piece hits, and Justin Job makes his way out onto the stage. He raises his left arm, as pyro shoots off behind him. The camera pan’s out to a crowd of mixed reactions, and to the signature ‘’everyone needs a Job-ber’’ posters, in which some fans excitingly hold up.
Chase: Justin Job! That’s his name, game, and claim to fame.
Harvey: No that’s Vinnie Hardcore!
Chase: No! Vinnie Hardcore is no jobber!
Harvey: That’s not what I meant!
Chase: Yes it is!
Justin jumps up onto the apron, before falling over the top rope and into the ring. He gives the crowd thumbs up, before hoping back to his feet and the fans laugh hysterically. Diana simply shakes her head, giggling to herself. “Last Man Standing” by Hammerfall hits the P.A., and out walks Jordan Stevens.
Harvey: And finally APW presents the debut of Jordan Stevens! Jordan Stevens… Is, well… Chase, help me out here.
Chase: Don't you know everything?
Harvey: Now is not the time to argue!
Chase: Geez, you sound like my wife! Jordan Stevens is an unknown guy, from parts unknown…
Tony: And from Pennsylvania, weighing in at 218 lbs, Jordan Stevens!
Stevens walks down the ramp, paying no attention to the crowd what so ever. He slides into the ring to be immediately assaulted with boots from Justin, and Diana. The referee rings the bell, and starts the match.
MATCH 2: Debut Match
Winner goes to Rasslemania and fights for a shot at the Overdrive Title
DIANA STEEL VS JORDON STEVENS VS JUSTIN JOB[/center]
Diana Steel, and Justin Job hoist Jordan Stevens up to his feet, and in a combined effort Whip him into the ropes. Stevens returns running into a Double Clothesline from the two cruiserweights. Stevens hits the mat, and Job gives Diana a “thumbs up” with a smile. The good gesture is followed by a Springboard Hurricanrana from Steel. Stevens returns to his feet, and nails Diana in the back of the head like the raging beast he is! Diana goes face first into the mat, and JJ is back to his feet. Stevens opens his attack with a Punch that gets blocked by Justin. Job returns with a punch of his own, only to be blocked in turn by Stevens. Diana kips to her feet, and hits the top turnbuckle, as Stevens goes for a Suplex. Jordan stalls for just the second it took for Diana to come soaring off the top rope with a Flying Crossbody that took Just’N “Time2” Job down HARD. Stevens, and Diana are back to their feet, and lock up in the center of the ring. “That Girl” goes for the Whip on Jordan Stevens, but Stevens reverses, and Diana goes running to the ropes instead. She returns ducking underneath a Clothesline, and then returns again to duck yet another Clothesline. Justin Job is to his feet, and Diana returns again. Stevens grabs her around the knees, and falls back as he lifts. JJ comes runs, and jumps, grabbing Diana’s head for the Cutter.
The crowd roars “3-D!”
Harvey: And what an entrance for these three new comers to make here in the APW!
Chase: Do you know whose winning?
Harvey: I don’t think I care…
Jordan, and Justin now take a turn to lock up in the middle of the ring, and Job Whips his opponent into the turnbuckle. Justin charges, but Stevens sends a boot into his face. Job stumbles back, and Stevens hit the middle turnbuckle. He goes for a Double Axe Handle, but JJ ducks to the side, and Jordan lands on his feet only to be met with a jaw cracking Superkick. The crowd gives a bit of a cheer, and Job goes for the pin on Jordan Stevens, as Diana Steel gets back to her feet…
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Diana Steel baseball slides into the side of Justin’s head, and breaks the pin.
Chase: And Diana Steel saves herself the loss.
Harvey: That’s right. In Triple Threat rules, the name of the game is pin to win…
Chase: You really do spend all night coming up with this dribble, don’t you Harv?
Justin rolls to the corner, and Diana gets to her feet. Steel charges the Jobber, and hits with a Spinning Wheel Kick that lays him out on the mat next to the corner. Diana goes to the tope, and nails the most beautiful Split Leg Moonsault that you ever want to see. The fans cheer, and Diana kips to her feet, and strikes a very Kenny Lambardo “I am God” pose.
The fans cheer even louder!
Chase: Wonder where I’ve seen that before?
Harvey: Kenny Lambardo.
Chase: You have got to be joking me…
Jordan gets to his feet. Diana turns to face her assailant, and he charges with a Spear, but the veteran to the ring, “That Girl” Diana Steel, Leap Frogs with a twist, and nails The Coward’s Mark. Jordan Stevens rolls out of the ring holding his back as Justin Job climbs back to posture, and Diana kips again. Justin Job explodes out of the corner, and gets taken to the mat one more time by a gorgeous BOOM! HEADSHOT! The fans absolutely explode, and Diana strikes yet another “I am God” pose.
Harvey: Why the hell hasn’t she tried to pin somebody yet?
Chase: Maybe she’s just getting started.
Diana slides out of the ring, next to Jordan Stevens. Stevens is on one knee, and propped on the apron, as Diana Steel takes him by the head, and goes running towards the steel post. Jordan blocks with a leg, and takes Diana by the hair, and slams her head first into the steel post, splitting her forehead. She tumbles onto the steel steps, but Stevens gets another fist full of hair, as Justin Job is back up inside the ring. Jordan Stevens tosses Diana back into the ring, and follows. Job comes on the attack with a never ending supply of boots to Diana’s face. He give Jordan the “thumbs up”, and the two clasp hands for a Double Elbow Drop. The two are up to their feet, and stomping on Diana as the fans give more than a bit of a cheer.
Harvey: That’s not fair! They’re double teaming Diana!
Chase: Wouldn’t you want to double team Diana Steel?
Harvey: yes…
Chase: You’re a kinky bastard…
Just’N “Time2” Job puts his fists to his hips with a ridiculous smile posing for the crowd. Jordan Stevens stops at this, and cocks his head sideways. Stevens Kicks Job in the gut, and drives him to the canvas with a DDT. Jordan hooks the leg for the pin.
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Justin Job kicks out with authority! He kips to his feet, as Stevens returns to his. JJ charges with a Dropkick into Steven’s chest, and Steven’s stumbles back. Justin runs again, and nearly takes Jordan’s head off with a Jumping Clothesline. Jordan is quick back to his feet however, but gets a mouth full of boot for the trouble as JJ hits with the Pele Kick. Diana starts to get to her feet, and Justin Job hits the top turnbuckle. He soars for a 450 Frog Splash on Stevens, and keeps for the pin.
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Diana lands a running Elbow Drop on the back of the Jobber’s head to break up the fall!
Harvey: “That Girl” Diana Steel, again saving the match up for herself.
Chase: Not only that, but that was two times that she screwed Justin Job out of the win!
Harvey: Gotta hand it to the guy, he showing off a lot of talent tonight!
Diana lifts Justin up and gives him a european uppercut. Justin falls into the ropes. He bounces off and goes for a clothesline on Diana. Diana ducks and then Jordan gets to his feet. Both Diana and Justin see him and they both Super Kick him. Jordon goes down and both Diana and Justin hook a leg and cover Jordon and the ref counts.
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Winners: Justin Job and Diana Steel.
Chase: Did two people just win a triple threat match?
Harvey: I think so.
Chase: Does this mean that both of them are going to Rasslemania and are fighting for a shot at the Overdrive title that is to be determined on the Overdrive after Rasslemania?
Harvey: It looks like it Johnny.
Chase: A crazy way to kick off Overdrive.
The camera opens backstage to see none other than two or the biggest names in the history of wrestling.
Trevor: You can’t be serious…
The first was renown throughout the world as the Hardcore Icon. He stood tall, carrying his Singapore Cane, and Extreme Title like the broadsword, and shield to match his blood soaked leather armor, “The Sons of Carthage” jacket. He was King of the Royal Blackwell line, and hailed as the “Excellence of Extreme”. I present to you, your APW Extreme Heavyweight Champion, “The Career Killer” Trevor Blackwell. Hardcore God!
Kenny: And it’s all for the good of APW…
The next was renown throughout the world as the cockiest son of a bitch on two legs. He wore his typical camo pants, “Reign of Kaos” bandana, and MONSTER Jacket. He was “The High Flyiah Messiah”, and the number one contender to Jon Green’s APW World Heavyweight Championship. “The Most Controversial Man in Television Today”, I give to you “The Ego Crusher” Sgt. Kenny Lambardo. KaotiK God!
Kenny noticed Emry with his camera, peeking around the corner, and signaled him over.
Kenny: Well if we’re going to really start some shit, then the fans might as well get to hear about it!
Trevor: What the hell are you doing! This is just some idea you had, and now you’re going to announce it on national television! I can’t believe that I’m going to be forced to be a part of it?
Kenny: Well if you would just shut up for a second, no one will be the wiser…
Lambardo snaps his fingers at the lens, and the words “KAOS KAM!” appear under the APW logo. Lambardo flashed that famous grin.
Trevor: You really do get off on yourself don’t you?
Kenny: Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Women 18 or older! “Sex & Violence” proudly bring to you everything that’s wrong with television today, everyone’s favorite hostile takeover, APW “KAOS KAM!” Now all I have to say is… Kaos is main eventing Rasslemania baby! I might live on Long Island now, but I was born, and raised in Hell’s Kitchen. Downtown Manhatten, just a stone’s throw away from Madison Square Garden! Not to far away from the place that you could say started my wrestling career, Bellvue Asylum for the criminally insane. In less than two weeks Kenny Lambardo is coming back home to take the APW World Heavyweight Championship, and the true Reign of Kaos begins at live next Sunday night at Action Packed Wrestling’s RASSLEMANIA!!!
“The KaotiK” gets cut off by a repetitive slapping sound.
Kenny: The hell is that?
Trevor: Sounds like somebody jerking off.
The Dynamic Duo move towards the origins of the noise, as the noise gets faster, and a bit louder. The gods find their way to a locker room door that is slightly ajar to hear two people playing a very intense game of patty cake.
Lil Dick: Patty Cake! PATTY Cake! PATTY CAKE!
The sound gets faster, and you can start to hear giggling in the background.
Trevor: Who the hell is that?
Kenny: Sounds like Sabur playing with his little dick!
Sabur: MOOO!
Sabur is panting, as the game is getting faster, and faster. His Lil Dick is moving so fast that it’s about to burst!
Kenny: Well that was a rather happy moo.
Sabur: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sabur Moos uncontrollably as we hear a crash from the inside of the locker room, and Trevor gets covered in a creamy white liquid that splashes out from the cracked door. Kenny laughs.
Trevor: You want to know what’s worse?
Kenny: What?
Trevor: It’s milk…
Kenny: I don’t even want to know… Sorry ladies and gents, but after a spectacle like that I just need to call it a night!
Lambardo closes the door, and the screen fades to a black background with the green “MONSTER M” logo as APW goes to commercial from our sponsors.
[/b]
