Post by "The Hottest Shit Going" on Aug 31, 2008 11:41:04 GMT -4
Sorry I don't have time to spell check, proof read, or add color but really don't want to no show the limit...so here it is...
In the front of the General Motors Place arena there are tables set up in the lobby for the APW press confrence set to take place the day prior to the Shockwave ppv which by the way is dubbed the biggest ppv of the summer. The chairs opposite the tables are filled with reporters, all chatering together. Lively off to the side looks on in approval, standing next to his mother. He and his mother then walk into view. Flash bulbs begins strobbing as cameras capture the Overdrive champion and his mother. The Champion wearing his title around his waist walks up to the table, then unstraps the title, holding it in his hand he strikes the I am JESuS pose for the photags to capture in film. Lively then folds the title and sets it very neatly on the table in front of him. Michael then has a seat pulling the mic in close.
Reporter: So Lively what do you have to say that couldn't wait a few hours when APW's press conference, why are we here two hours early just for you?
Lion: Well first off watch your tone when you speak to the JESUS...and that right there answers your question I am the JESUS....and who wouldn't want the exclussive words of wisdom from the man in APW, the Overdrive champion.
Reporter 2: Michael is it true...we heard you visited the former world champion Kaos in the hospital.
Lion: Well I have been busy...as rumored I have visited Green Leaf Idaho recently, and from there I did travel to Long Island New York....I checked on my friend Kenny Lambardo...I'm not sure just how many friends he has right now, but he has a life long friend in Michael Lively, and I owe him for what he has done for me...hell you people all owe Kaos what what he did for this buisness, this buisness may not have the JESUS if it weren't for GOD. So as a tribute to my good friend, and for his speedy recovery, I will wear these wrist bands in support for him.
Lively then holds up his writs to the reporters and it reads "HAIL" on the right and "KAOS" on the left.
Lion: Now on to why I called you here...I wanted to give you guy's a world wide JESUS exclussive. Now I probally shouldn't be saying this...but wrestling is fake...
The room goes crazy with buzz, reporters taking notes, scrambling, and some even calling out "NO" in disbelief.
Lion: Right..now you can see why I saved this discussion for us and us alone...but those of you who don't believe me, call Vegas right now and ask what the odd's are for Jake Ruby beating Michael Lively.
A reporter calls the MGM Grand and asks for the odd's, nothing but laughter can be heard through the ear piece.
Reporter: He's right...there are no odd's...
The crowd of reporters is even more shocked.
Lion: Ok calm down...calm down...I know this must be a shocker to you all, but listen up. Last night there was this discussion between me and management that possibly I would drop the strap, and do a job clean in the middle for Ruby...now for those of you who aren't in the know, a job is when you put over the other guy. Now he's getting a push for the Overdrive title which I held for the longest time in APW history, and this job is being preformed for my next step, a push into the main event. Thats right..the JESUS is ascending.
Lively then takes a pitcher of water and tips it sideways spilling the water into his cup. He then takes a drink to wet his throat.
Lion: So don't be shocked when the JESUS is beaten later, and you have a new Overdrive champion...fear not the bigger push is on the way for me...so in all fear not...
Reporter 3: So wrestling is scripted, the outcomes are planned, and the people in the spolight are put there, so the arguments, and the injuries are all fake as well...
Lion: You know what you people are so gulable, I could have told you that I am Batman and I'm pretty sure you would have bought it. So basically up till now I have been ribbing you. Wrestling is for real...it's gets intense, and it will be very intense come Shockwave. So all you maggots of the press get your passes out, come on down and watch the JESUS make hostory once more. My succsessful title defense recod continues on tonight. and in the ring against my opponent it will get real. So if you people don't believe me when I say it is real...you go ask Ruby when he's beaten down, and title-less...I'm sure he'll confirm the reality factor of this buisness.
Lively then stands from the table, grabs his belt and walks off followed by his mother, as the reporters all seem pissed by the work of Michael Lively.
Lion:(Towards his mother) It's so easy to work the press....
The Day of Shockwave...with about a hour to go.......
During the coutndown show hosted by Phil and Cindy Shannon, the two are standing in the stage area set up for the countdown show. Just then out of nowhere the sound of Michael Lively walking on set is heard.
Phil: Folks it looks like we are being joined by none other the Overdrive champion Michael Lively. Michael welcome.
Lion: Welcome...your damn right you had better welcome the JESUS...what you two have here is the redundant, boring old coutndown show which the fans only watch as backround watining in anticpation for the real deal, the PPV. Now that you have a main eventer, a champion on, the ratting will sky rocket. People will notcie the JESUS on their set, and turn the volume up, sit down and take notice...so not only welcome me but thank me...fucking jobbers.
Cindy: So Michael....
Lion: WHOA!!! listen it's bad enough that my mother thinks she can speak to me, but I'll be damned if another women speaks to the JESUS. You skanks are the ruin of the earth, and since eating of the apple no women has done anything worth while untill the birth of Michael Lively. So the way I see it if you have a question you go ahead whisper it in the ear of Phil, and he can translate the evil filth that you spew into an educated question fit for the prince of heaven, the hottest shit going...Michael Lively, who by the way was just informed that since Iggy the Iguana not only didn't beat me for the title, but isn't even a legal resident of this great country...his victory has been completely wipped from the record books...
Cindy: Thats so not true...
Lion: Uh...Filth...you tramp...translater...tell this filthy whore that since see herself has been seen with the leeping Illegal president Bush has just suspended her citizenship as well.
Cindy: Now..
Lion: Uh....like I said enough now get your skanky ass outa here, go douche up with Tequilia you nasty.
Lively kicks Cinday Shannon in the rear end as she walks off of camera, then Michael Lively turns back seeiing Phil smilling.
Lion: What exactly are you smilling about...you know what lets us take a look a video package I put together for the at home auidence.
Just then Lively and Phil stare at a monitor then the feed turns to a black and white shot almost like a voyeuer cam, with the letters DW in the bottom right hand corner. Then the camera zooms in to capture Michael Lively standing in a bath tub wearing a g-string, shaving his legs.
Lion: STOP!!!! WHat is that....some sicko tapped me shaving my legs...(looking at Phil) Yeah I shave my legs, it helps me pull the tights on, less friction...you know what...I need you to play the clip that I have prepared...and let we tell you something Phil, if the video I made doesn't play I will personaly punch your teeth down your throat, pull out your pud...tie it in a knot, and shove it up your ass.
Lively then glares at Phil as he waits for the video to play. Nothing comes across the screen, and Phil hears in his ear piece that they are having technical difficulties bringing up the video. Phil stands, then backs off of camera as he tells Lively the problem.
Lion: Alright well apparently the production team here are rejects from WCW, and when we are done I will have to beat the shit out of Phil, so seeing that the crew fucked up we will give them a minute to resolve the situation, and go right into the meat and potatoes if you will. Speaking of taters our lovely Ruby Red the tater farmer's son is so proud of his heritage, so proud of his families hard work, and sacrifices, the things that farmers provide for this country, yet our little farmer boy didn't carry on the family tradition. No sir this young man decided to venture out and become a wrestler...WHY?? Well thats what I was wondering so I did some investagition into this situation, Do you guy's in the back have the video problem fixed ok....and what I uncovered was amazing, shocking , and down right sick...this isn't for the week of heart, or faint of stomach...roll the peice.
Dateline NBC's intro video plays on the screen.
Hi I'm Chris Hanson and on this show we team up with people to catch predators. We have traveled all across the country catching these twisted sick perverts, and this evening we do it all again. You see there are a lot of twisted people walking free preying on innocent victims, and we are trying to minimize the population of these sicko's.
So are team is in the infested city of Greenleaf, Idaho. Some may think this quaint town is full of nothing but good old farm folk, the kind of hard working people that some say built this country into what it is today...and thats where we come in. The world as we know it has turned, and shifted into a sick world of unusual perversions. In this town where people wake up to the crowing of rosters, others spend evening's on the internet scouring the web for perverse images, and nasty clips. Well our team has uncovered a nasty sick perversion in this town, one that hasn't been spoke of in some time, but it's damage hasn't healed in this comunity. You see the travisty in this town may be at rest but the perverse evil doer is still at large. Here we are at the farm of Mr. MacDonald, and here this pervert ravaged this home, this famr with his twisted nasty thoughts, and lude acts.
Mr. MacDonald: Well it was late one evening, and my flock of sheep where rallied into a chute, and then it happend..you know I got up and grabbed my shotgun, cause we had this run of wolves stealin' sheep in these parts. So I snuck outside, and then blamo..there it was...the nastiest of perves humping my sheep. I screamed at the nasty son of a bitch, and this naked fucker ran off gigling.
Chris Hanson: What did this man look like...
Mr. MacDonald: Well it was dark, but when I called out the man like any other man being caught in the lude act of fucking animals, he showed his face...and right then and there I said I know this boy...I have seen that big forehead..you know the kind like a large mounded retard struts around with...and those glasses...and stupid grin...yeah I had seen this boy before but where...and I never had this man fuck one of my sheep again..so since I couldn't place him exactly...he's still at large, and since he didn't stick his dick in any more of my animals I didn't give a shit.
So folks the first attack of the Greenleaf Sicko happend to a farmer known as MacDonald, but the attacks didn't stop there. A few miles down the road, and farm that has stood since the early fifties, and a man named Jed spoke with us on his dealings with the Greanleaf Sicko.
Jed: Yeah word spread pretty fast, when your animals get eaten the word travels, but when they get fucked it goes at light speed. So the MacDonald incodent as we call it here was running wild for awhile, then one night, I heard the sound of my prize hefer. She was moo'ing like a mad cow, and no sooner then I heard the first moo, I grabbed my shotgun, and headed out...flipped on the light, and there he was...a six foot tall big headed mongloid pants off, going to town on my prize hefer...and I swear that nasty fuck had a potato shooved up his ass. The lanky glasses clad animal fucker scampered off in a hurry. To tell you the truth I was pretty shocked, I thought about blowing this fuckers head off when I was running to the scene, but as soon as these old eyes captured the vision of a tall skinny, pale, untalented, basment kept, freak ridding your cow over the moon...well it's a shocker.
You see folks the attacks kept coming, and people all thought this man was familar bud couldn't place his face to any particular farm. You see if this man was a local he must have benn in a basement, not really come up for sun much, and probally didn't partake in many activities. The farmers then formed a group, and held patrols to catch this Greanleaf Sicko...they are tired of the animals being ravaged sexually. The attacks halted for awhile, but like all perverts you can only bottle up the tension for son long before the cap comes flying off. So on the family farm of...well for television we have masked this famers voice, and idenity, and we will call him farmer Emerald. The Emerald farm was the next farm to become the victim of the Greanleaf Sicko. You see along with being very established tater farmers, the Emerald famr alson has a flock of award winning goats...thats where we come in...To Catch a Predator's main mission is to stop the abuse to children, and on this evening a kid was raped brutally.
Mr. Emerald: Well we were on patrol, and I was tending to the goats when I heard a rustle in the bushes, then a noise in the taters...So I ran to check out the comotion...and then went in full pursuit like Roscoe P Coltrain...So I went off throught the brush, and got close to what I thought was the Greanleaf Sicko...but I was bamboozled...I caught a chicken...and no sooner then I caught the pultry I realized I had just been dupped. I ran back to the goats..and then I saw it...a man who by the way doesn't seem as retarded as the reports state, or as twisted maybe just a little confussed, ut none the less he was balls deep in my baby goat.
Chris Hanson: There it is the abuse of a kid...and we are here...but you unlike the other farmers..speak of this man differently...is there something youknow about this man, did you regconize the predator liek all the others.
Mr. Emerald: Well yeas his face was familar...and he scampered off just like all the other times...after that evening the Greenleaf Sicko vanished. All I'm saying is the boy is probally confussed, probally not right, maybe his parents should have seen the defects at birth, maybe they should have put a bullet in his head like a damaged horse..he wasn't all the time alone, all the time in the basement, the love of taters, the strange behavior...
Chris Hanson: Well sir you speak as if you know this man...
Mr. Emerald: I'm done...I have nothing else to say.
Chris Hanson: So the journey seemed to grow cold, our investegation was shelved, untill the tip of one of you faithful viewers. The timming of the entire thing was perfectly matched...The attacks siezed, and the arrival of a formaer potato farmer to the world of wrestling...
Just then the piece comes to an end, and Michael Lively is standing there with a shit eating grin on his face.
Lion: Well, Well the Greenleaf Sicko...I have no concrete evidence, and if you people at home watching want the finish of that riveting eppisode of Dateline then check it out in it's entirety on NBC.com. So when I was scouring the surrounding farms after the crash, and then I heard about it, the Greenleaf Sicko, that city hadn't seen action like my plane crash since the rapping of their animals. So in that very moment it all made perfect sense to the JESUS. You are so proud of your heritage, and it's contirubtion to the USA. Well it's a simple fact that farms maintain thier stability by family tradition, passing the control of the farm from generation to generation. With that fact I couldn't put my finger on why you didn't continue on with family buisness, you feelings, and emotions are that of someone who would love to run the farm, watch the tender taters grow and thrive...but yet you are here, running amuck like a wrestler. Then it made sense to the son of God, after some research, and finding the piece on Dateline, the clever name of Emerald...any simularities Ruby...Emerald..well it's funny to me that you daddy possibly found you fucking his goats, after dropping your sead all over the town of Greenleaf, you were then banished from the farm, and sent to APW..well now you are our problem...no my problem...and not having solid facts just a hypothesis, knowing what I'm thinking has really put me in a different state of mind going into our match. You see the talk in the back has always been that that you may like men, but now when you go for a german suplex no one has to worry unless they are packing a tail. No longer will people have to wonder if you are really wanting to wrestle naked, just tussle with animals. So with that reassuarance, it brings me right where I need to be. It's me and you for this title. It's Shockwave, and I have no intention of dropping this belt to you. This title will not be disgraced by a possible, alleged animal rapist. No this title needs a future legend of the business to retain. This title needs the picture of prefection in Michael Lively as the champion. I'm preparred to go the distance, I eat, sleep, and breath this buisness, this title...it's everything to me...and nothing to you...cause it's going nowhere. This match here, tonight is like a celebration for me, a party for one more sucessful title defense..in honor of that I had these bad boy's made up just for you.
Lively pulls his jeans down exposing his wrestling tights. The Lion turns showing his rear which has a bowl of mash potatoes, with letters across the top that read "I'm Going to Mash Your Taters". The Lively turns revelaing the front which has a picture of Jake Ruby on it, with what seems to be liquid all over his face. The words above the picture read " I'm Going To Piss On Your Dreams...Call It Gravy". Lively then pulls up his jeans smirking for the camera.
Lion: Those tights will be up for bid on Ebay after my defense to the highest bidder, and if your lucky I'll sign those fuckers too. So back to Ruby, I'm no goat my friend...you will not have your way with me, in the ring, with the belt on the line I am flawless, like I said the picture of perfection...and to beat me you would have to be above perfect...seeing how thats not happening no matter how many details you pay attention to. Face it the JESUS sits above looking down, taking notes, scouting everything in the buisness, making myself beter then all of you, esspecially you. So tonight I burn down the house, and leave you inside...walk away with the gold, and leave you to wander back to the farm and see if there still a life for you there...at least we know you'll have some love intrests. ....Ruby I know when you go home after an event you log onto you little website, enter your sign in and password, begin typing away...we all know that secrectly you wish you were me...you wish you had the Overdrive championship....well tonight is as close as you will get to the reality...the reality of JESUS...the reality that you don't measure up...can't hack it....I'm am the man. Imagine if the Elders council knew of your past...esspecially Mr. Ed...ooh the things they would say...or maybe thats why you recieve their advice, you blew Mr. Ed...and he is forever in your debt...maybe thats the common dennomenator here, Elvis, Nixon, and Ruby all love fucking animals, man what a thought...I wonder if you ever had your way with a chicken...but I digrece...tonight the match takes place in the ring, not in an online forrum, there are no Roleplay's, no voting on winners, no limits, and surely no deadline extensions, cause your time is up tonight...you face me once more, for your chance to do the immposible, take this from me (holding up the title). You more so then anyone one else here in APW should know fair well it is way harder then it looks, having failed once before. Sometimes people who are good, show up in the wrong moment...well all of you are in the living era of JESUS...the Hottest Shit Going MIchael Lively....it's nothing personal...I'm the most contreversial, the most hated...and the most talented pure pro the buisness has to offer. Lucky for the APW that they snatched up the best product when they did, although there is no better place on earth to test your skills, you bigger show in town then APW...so lucky for us all, except the alleged Greenleaf Sicko...tonight you pay...tonight I have been deputized by the city of Greenleaf Idaho, and with the power vested in me by Chris Hanson I catch me a predator...tonight the crimes commited go to the judge...and I am the jury...say no more...present not a slice more of evidence I have seen enough...you punishment will be that of loosing once more to the JESUS...and taking that walk of shame home...to the farm...show your face to the town....and let you rparents feel the disgust..the disgust that I feel when i look at you...the clock is ticking my boy...your sentence draws near...any last requests...and it had better not involve any animals you disgustin sicko....
Lively then strikes a pose for the camera, then flips his belt over his shoulder, turning to walk of set as the camera fades to black.
In the front of the General Motors Place arena there are tables set up in the lobby for the APW press confrence set to take place the day prior to the Shockwave ppv which by the way is dubbed the biggest ppv of the summer. The chairs opposite the tables are filled with reporters, all chatering together. Lively off to the side looks on in approval, standing next to his mother. He and his mother then walk into view. Flash bulbs begins strobbing as cameras capture the Overdrive champion and his mother. The Champion wearing his title around his waist walks up to the table, then unstraps the title, holding it in his hand he strikes the I am JESuS pose for the photags to capture in film. Lively then folds the title and sets it very neatly on the table in front of him. Michael then has a seat pulling the mic in close.
Reporter: So Lively what do you have to say that couldn't wait a few hours when APW's press conference, why are we here two hours early just for you?
Lion: Well first off watch your tone when you speak to the JESUS...and that right there answers your question I am the JESUS....and who wouldn't want the exclussive words of wisdom from the man in APW, the Overdrive champion.
Reporter 2: Michael is it true...we heard you visited the former world champion Kaos in the hospital.
Lion: Well I have been busy...as rumored I have visited Green Leaf Idaho recently, and from there I did travel to Long Island New York....I checked on my friend Kenny Lambardo...I'm not sure just how many friends he has right now, but he has a life long friend in Michael Lively, and I owe him for what he has done for me...hell you people all owe Kaos what what he did for this buisness, this buisness may not have the JESUS if it weren't for GOD. So as a tribute to my good friend, and for his speedy recovery, I will wear these wrist bands in support for him.
Lively then holds up his writs to the reporters and it reads "HAIL" on the right and "KAOS" on the left.
Lion: Now on to why I called you here...I wanted to give you guy's a world wide JESUS exclussive. Now I probally shouldn't be saying this...but wrestling is fake...
The room goes crazy with buzz, reporters taking notes, scrambling, and some even calling out "NO" in disbelief.
Lion: Right..now you can see why I saved this discussion for us and us alone...but those of you who don't believe me, call Vegas right now and ask what the odd's are for Jake Ruby beating Michael Lively.
A reporter calls the MGM Grand and asks for the odd's, nothing but laughter can be heard through the ear piece.
Reporter: He's right...there are no odd's...
The crowd of reporters is even more shocked.
Lion: Ok calm down...calm down...I know this must be a shocker to you all, but listen up. Last night there was this discussion between me and management that possibly I would drop the strap, and do a job clean in the middle for Ruby...now for those of you who aren't in the know, a job is when you put over the other guy. Now he's getting a push for the Overdrive title which I held for the longest time in APW history, and this job is being preformed for my next step, a push into the main event. Thats right..the JESUS is ascending.
Lively then takes a pitcher of water and tips it sideways spilling the water into his cup. He then takes a drink to wet his throat.
Lion: So don't be shocked when the JESUS is beaten later, and you have a new Overdrive champion...fear not the bigger push is on the way for me...so in all fear not...
Reporter 3: So wrestling is scripted, the outcomes are planned, and the people in the spolight are put there, so the arguments, and the injuries are all fake as well...
Lion: You know what you people are so gulable, I could have told you that I am Batman and I'm pretty sure you would have bought it. So basically up till now I have been ribbing you. Wrestling is for real...it's gets intense, and it will be very intense come Shockwave. So all you maggots of the press get your passes out, come on down and watch the JESUS make hostory once more. My succsessful title defense recod continues on tonight. and in the ring against my opponent it will get real. So if you people don't believe me when I say it is real...you go ask Ruby when he's beaten down, and title-less...I'm sure he'll confirm the reality factor of this buisness.
Lively then stands from the table, grabs his belt and walks off followed by his mother, as the reporters all seem pissed by the work of Michael Lively.
Lion:(Towards his mother) It's so easy to work the press....
The Day of Shockwave...with about a hour to go.......
During the coutndown show hosted by Phil and Cindy Shannon, the two are standing in the stage area set up for the countdown show. Just then out of nowhere the sound of Michael Lively walking on set is heard.
Phil: Folks it looks like we are being joined by none other the Overdrive champion Michael Lively. Michael welcome.
Lion: Welcome...your damn right you had better welcome the JESUS...what you two have here is the redundant, boring old coutndown show which the fans only watch as backround watining in anticpation for the real deal, the PPV. Now that you have a main eventer, a champion on, the ratting will sky rocket. People will notcie the JESUS on their set, and turn the volume up, sit down and take notice...so not only welcome me but thank me...fucking jobbers.
Cindy: So Michael....
Lion: WHOA!!! listen it's bad enough that my mother thinks she can speak to me, but I'll be damned if another women speaks to the JESUS. You skanks are the ruin of the earth, and since eating of the apple no women has done anything worth while untill the birth of Michael Lively. So the way I see it if you have a question you go ahead whisper it in the ear of Phil, and he can translate the evil filth that you spew into an educated question fit for the prince of heaven, the hottest shit going...Michael Lively, who by the way was just informed that since Iggy the Iguana not only didn't beat me for the title, but isn't even a legal resident of this great country...his victory has been completely wipped from the record books...
Cindy: Thats so not true...
Lion: Uh...Filth...you tramp...translater...tell this filthy whore that since see herself has been seen with the leeping Illegal president Bush has just suspended her citizenship as well.
Cindy: Now..
Lion: Uh....like I said enough now get your skanky ass outa here, go douche up with Tequilia you nasty.
Lively kicks Cinday Shannon in the rear end as she walks off of camera, then Michael Lively turns back seeiing Phil smilling.
Lion: What exactly are you smilling about...you know what lets us take a look a video package I put together for the at home auidence.
Just then Lively and Phil stare at a monitor then the feed turns to a black and white shot almost like a voyeuer cam, with the letters DW in the bottom right hand corner. Then the camera zooms in to capture Michael Lively standing in a bath tub wearing a g-string, shaving his legs.
Lion: STOP!!!! WHat is that....some sicko tapped me shaving my legs...(looking at Phil) Yeah I shave my legs, it helps me pull the tights on, less friction...you know what...I need you to play the clip that I have prepared...and let we tell you something Phil, if the video I made doesn't play I will personaly punch your teeth down your throat, pull out your pud...tie it in a knot, and shove it up your ass.
Lively then glares at Phil as he waits for the video to play. Nothing comes across the screen, and Phil hears in his ear piece that they are having technical difficulties bringing up the video. Phil stands, then backs off of camera as he tells Lively the problem.
Lion: Alright well apparently the production team here are rejects from WCW, and when we are done I will have to beat the shit out of Phil, so seeing that the crew fucked up we will give them a minute to resolve the situation, and go right into the meat and potatoes if you will. Speaking of taters our lovely Ruby Red the tater farmer's son is so proud of his heritage, so proud of his families hard work, and sacrifices, the things that farmers provide for this country, yet our little farmer boy didn't carry on the family tradition. No sir this young man decided to venture out and become a wrestler...WHY?? Well thats what I was wondering so I did some investagition into this situation, Do you guy's in the back have the video problem fixed ok....and what I uncovered was amazing, shocking , and down right sick...this isn't for the week of heart, or faint of stomach...roll the peice.
Dateline NBC's intro video plays on the screen.
Hi I'm Chris Hanson and on this show we team up with people to catch predators. We have traveled all across the country catching these twisted sick perverts, and this evening we do it all again. You see there are a lot of twisted people walking free preying on innocent victims, and we are trying to minimize the population of these sicko's.
So are team is in the infested city of Greenleaf, Idaho. Some may think this quaint town is full of nothing but good old farm folk, the kind of hard working people that some say built this country into what it is today...and thats where we come in. The world as we know it has turned, and shifted into a sick world of unusual perversions. In this town where people wake up to the crowing of rosters, others spend evening's on the internet scouring the web for perverse images, and nasty clips. Well our team has uncovered a nasty sick perversion in this town, one that hasn't been spoke of in some time, but it's damage hasn't healed in this comunity. You see the travisty in this town may be at rest but the perverse evil doer is still at large. Here we are at the farm of Mr. MacDonald, and here this pervert ravaged this home, this famr with his twisted nasty thoughts, and lude acts.
Mr. MacDonald: Well it was late one evening, and my flock of sheep where rallied into a chute, and then it happend..you know I got up and grabbed my shotgun, cause we had this run of wolves stealin' sheep in these parts. So I snuck outside, and then blamo..there it was...the nastiest of perves humping my sheep. I screamed at the nasty son of a bitch, and this naked fucker ran off gigling.
Chris Hanson: What did this man look like...
Mr. MacDonald: Well it was dark, but when I called out the man like any other man being caught in the lude act of fucking animals, he showed his face...and right then and there I said I know this boy...I have seen that big forehead..you know the kind like a large mounded retard struts around with...and those glasses...and stupid grin...yeah I had seen this boy before but where...and I never had this man fuck one of my sheep again..so since I couldn't place him exactly...he's still at large, and since he didn't stick his dick in any more of my animals I didn't give a shit.
So folks the first attack of the Greenleaf Sicko happend to a farmer known as MacDonald, but the attacks didn't stop there. A few miles down the road, and farm that has stood since the early fifties, and a man named Jed spoke with us on his dealings with the Greanleaf Sicko.
Jed: Yeah word spread pretty fast, when your animals get eaten the word travels, but when they get fucked it goes at light speed. So the MacDonald incodent as we call it here was running wild for awhile, then one night, I heard the sound of my prize hefer. She was moo'ing like a mad cow, and no sooner then I heard the first moo, I grabbed my shotgun, and headed out...flipped on the light, and there he was...a six foot tall big headed mongloid pants off, going to town on my prize hefer...and I swear that nasty fuck had a potato shooved up his ass. The lanky glasses clad animal fucker scampered off in a hurry. To tell you the truth I was pretty shocked, I thought about blowing this fuckers head off when I was running to the scene, but as soon as these old eyes captured the vision of a tall skinny, pale, untalented, basment kept, freak ridding your cow over the moon...well it's a shocker.
You see folks the attacks kept coming, and people all thought this man was familar bud couldn't place his face to any particular farm. You see if this man was a local he must have benn in a basement, not really come up for sun much, and probally didn't partake in many activities. The farmers then formed a group, and held patrols to catch this Greanleaf Sicko...they are tired of the animals being ravaged sexually. The attacks halted for awhile, but like all perverts you can only bottle up the tension for son long before the cap comes flying off. So on the family farm of...well for television we have masked this famers voice, and idenity, and we will call him farmer Emerald. The Emerald farm was the next farm to become the victim of the Greanleaf Sicko. You see along with being very established tater farmers, the Emerald famr alson has a flock of award winning goats...thats where we come in...To Catch a Predator's main mission is to stop the abuse to children, and on this evening a kid was raped brutally.
Mr. Emerald: Well we were on patrol, and I was tending to the goats when I heard a rustle in the bushes, then a noise in the taters...So I ran to check out the comotion...and then went in full pursuit like Roscoe P Coltrain...So I went off throught the brush, and got close to what I thought was the Greanleaf Sicko...but I was bamboozled...I caught a chicken...and no sooner then I caught the pultry I realized I had just been dupped. I ran back to the goats..and then I saw it...a man who by the way doesn't seem as retarded as the reports state, or as twisted maybe just a little confussed, ut none the less he was balls deep in my baby goat.
Chris Hanson: There it is the abuse of a kid...and we are here...but you unlike the other farmers..speak of this man differently...is there something youknow about this man, did you regconize the predator liek all the others.
Mr. Emerald: Well yeas his face was familar...and he scampered off just like all the other times...after that evening the Greenleaf Sicko vanished. All I'm saying is the boy is probally confussed, probally not right, maybe his parents should have seen the defects at birth, maybe they should have put a bullet in his head like a damaged horse..he wasn't all the time alone, all the time in the basement, the love of taters, the strange behavior...
Chris Hanson: Well sir you speak as if you know this man...
Mr. Emerald: I'm done...I have nothing else to say.
Chris Hanson: So the journey seemed to grow cold, our investegation was shelved, untill the tip of one of you faithful viewers. The timming of the entire thing was perfectly matched...The attacks siezed, and the arrival of a formaer potato farmer to the world of wrestling...
Just then the piece comes to an end, and Michael Lively is standing there with a shit eating grin on his face.
Lion: Well, Well the Greenleaf Sicko...I have no concrete evidence, and if you people at home watching want the finish of that riveting eppisode of Dateline then check it out in it's entirety on NBC.com. So when I was scouring the surrounding farms after the crash, and then I heard about it, the Greenleaf Sicko, that city hadn't seen action like my plane crash since the rapping of their animals. So in that very moment it all made perfect sense to the JESUS. You are so proud of your heritage, and it's contirubtion to the USA. Well it's a simple fact that farms maintain thier stability by family tradition, passing the control of the farm from generation to generation. With that fact I couldn't put my finger on why you didn't continue on with family buisness, you feelings, and emotions are that of someone who would love to run the farm, watch the tender taters grow and thrive...but yet you are here, running amuck like a wrestler. Then it made sense to the son of God, after some research, and finding the piece on Dateline, the clever name of Emerald...any simularities Ruby...Emerald..well it's funny to me that you daddy possibly found you fucking his goats, after dropping your sead all over the town of Greenleaf, you were then banished from the farm, and sent to APW..well now you are our problem...no my problem...and not having solid facts just a hypothesis, knowing what I'm thinking has really put me in a different state of mind going into our match. You see the talk in the back has always been that that you may like men, but now when you go for a german suplex no one has to worry unless they are packing a tail. No longer will people have to wonder if you are really wanting to wrestle naked, just tussle with animals. So with that reassuarance, it brings me right where I need to be. It's me and you for this title. It's Shockwave, and I have no intention of dropping this belt to you. This title will not be disgraced by a possible, alleged animal rapist. No this title needs a future legend of the business to retain. This title needs the picture of prefection in Michael Lively as the champion. I'm preparred to go the distance, I eat, sleep, and breath this buisness, this title...it's everything to me...and nothing to you...cause it's going nowhere. This match here, tonight is like a celebration for me, a party for one more sucessful title defense..in honor of that I had these bad boy's made up just for you.
Lively pulls his jeans down exposing his wrestling tights. The Lion turns showing his rear which has a bowl of mash potatoes, with letters across the top that read "I'm Going to Mash Your Taters". The Lively turns revelaing the front which has a picture of Jake Ruby on it, with what seems to be liquid all over his face. The words above the picture read " I'm Going To Piss On Your Dreams...Call It Gravy". Lively then pulls up his jeans smirking for the camera.
Lion: Those tights will be up for bid on Ebay after my defense to the highest bidder, and if your lucky I'll sign those fuckers too. So back to Ruby, I'm no goat my friend...you will not have your way with me, in the ring, with the belt on the line I am flawless, like I said the picture of perfection...and to beat me you would have to be above perfect...seeing how thats not happening no matter how many details you pay attention to. Face it the JESUS sits above looking down, taking notes, scouting everything in the buisness, making myself beter then all of you, esspecially you. So tonight I burn down the house, and leave you inside...walk away with the gold, and leave you to wander back to the farm and see if there still a life for you there...at least we know you'll have some love intrests. ....Ruby I know when you go home after an event you log onto you little website, enter your sign in and password, begin typing away...we all know that secrectly you wish you were me...you wish you had the Overdrive championship....well tonight is as close as you will get to the reality...the reality of JESUS...the reality that you don't measure up...can't hack it....I'm am the man. Imagine if the Elders council knew of your past...esspecially Mr. Ed...ooh the things they would say...or maybe thats why you recieve their advice, you blew Mr. Ed...and he is forever in your debt...maybe thats the common dennomenator here, Elvis, Nixon, and Ruby all love fucking animals, man what a thought...I wonder if you ever had your way with a chicken...but I digrece...tonight the match takes place in the ring, not in an online forrum, there are no Roleplay's, no voting on winners, no limits, and surely no deadline extensions, cause your time is up tonight...you face me once more, for your chance to do the immposible, take this from me (holding up the title). You more so then anyone one else here in APW should know fair well it is way harder then it looks, having failed once before. Sometimes people who are good, show up in the wrong moment...well all of you are in the living era of JESUS...the Hottest Shit Going MIchael Lively....it's nothing personal...I'm the most contreversial, the most hated...and the most talented pure pro the buisness has to offer. Lucky for the APW that they snatched up the best product when they did, although there is no better place on earth to test your skills, you bigger show in town then APW...so lucky for us all, except the alleged Greenleaf Sicko...tonight you pay...tonight I have been deputized by the city of Greenleaf Idaho, and with the power vested in me by Chris Hanson I catch me a predator...tonight the crimes commited go to the judge...and I am the jury...say no more...present not a slice more of evidence I have seen enough...you punishment will be that of loosing once more to the JESUS...and taking that walk of shame home...to the farm...show your face to the town....and let you rparents feel the disgust..the disgust that I feel when i look at you...the clock is ticking my boy...your sentence draws near...any last requests...and it had better not involve any animals you disgustin sicko....
Lively then strikes a pose for the camera, then flips his belt over his shoulder, turning to walk of set as the camera fades to black.
