Post by Your JESUS on Nov 10, 2008 17:18:49 GMT -4
Our next promo comes to life in what most would recognize as a high school classroom. The White board in the front, the teachers desk off to the side cornered up with a view outward toward all the pupils. The rest of the classroom is lined with desk and chair combo's, in perfectly organized rows. Those chairs filled with APW familiar faces. There is Hurricane Jeff, Lil Dick, Dr. Matt, Trevor Blackwell, and more all waiting for the bell, that just so happens to sound off.
The current world champion Sabur walks into the classroom. Wearing a pair of jeans , and a black Death Clutch t-shirt. In his right hand is is the APW world championship, and in his left is a yard stick. The big man comes into the room that is filled with chatter. He folds the world title up nicely and sets it on his desk displaying it to all who wish to gaze upon the beauty. The big man clears his throat to get the attention of the class of misfits. They pay no mind to the big guy. He then takes the yard sticks, and slaps it on his desk. The loud noise rings out like a crack from a Singapore cane. Trevor Blackwell looks up with attention, it's as if there was joy in his eyes as that sound filled the air. Sabur then takes the yard stick using it as a pointer.
Sabur: Hello class...I'm your teacher Sabur. (Pointing to his name plate on the title belt)
The large muscle bound wrestler realizes he still does not have ail the attention toward the front.
Sabur: Dr. Matt....whats up....your sleeping in my class.
Dr. Matt: Dude I'm tired...between working, school, social life...fuck I'm dog tired man.
Sabur: Hey...I fully understand...take it easy...I'm not a tough ass like principal O'Rielly...it's cool with me for you to take a breather. So today folks we are holding a class on just exactly what Jason Ricochet could beat me at, and lets be honest guy's wrestling will not be on the list.
Just then Sabur's attention is diverted.
Sabur: Hey Jeff...you alright...no daydreaming in my class
Jeff: Sorry teach.
Sabur: Fuck man...thinking about being a superhero again...how many times do I have to tell you the Disney Movie Sky High is fiction...there is no school for heroes.
Jeff: I'm not thinking about super heroes again.
Sabur: OK so you a visioning Gregory Helms crotch area...either way you not focusing on the lesson. No on to what Jason Ricochet can beat me at. First Pokemon...I don't know the first thin about Pokemon...but from what I hear Jason Ricochet is a hell of a Poke Player....when it comes to those Poke' Balls he can catch then all.
Lil Dick snickers "He said Balls"
Trevor then smirks and adds "He said he can catch all the balls....Ha"
Sabur: Alright guy's we are all young adults here...except maybe Trevor...he a little aged and over the hill. So moving on....now Chutes and Ladders....I used to be excellent at that game as a child, but from the legend of Jason Ricochet...he's never been beaten at it...
Lil Dick: Where is that...in a text book or something.
Sabur: I think I saw it scroll on the screen during one of his promos or something...but hey Chutes and Ladders is a technical game...and if he's then man...then he's the man. Now the other thing he probably could beat me at is Gay Chicken.
Jeff: What's Gay Chicken?
Sabur: Like you don't know Jeff...anyways for those of you not informed...it's a game where two guy's sits across from each other. One then begins the game placing his hand on a guy's thigh. Then the other out does his opponent by moving a little closer up the thigh...the one who out Gay's the other is the victor...and Jason is the undisputed world champion of Gay Chicken.
The class ooooh's and ahhhh's in amazement.
Sabur: I know, a true talent hunh. Anyways there are many things Jason Ricochet is great at, and quite frankly would destroy me in. Like Ping Pong, Jacks, Jenga,Uno, SkipBo, and puzzle building, but in the ring he stands no chance. Jason Ricochet realized inside that chamber that yeah he does deserve a contract with APW. He also was faced with the reality that in no certain way does he have what it takes to be a main event player. You see this (pointing at the world title on his desk), I wasn't just handed this title. I was given a shot to nab the belt from a guy heading out of the company. I didn;t just beat on person to become world champion....I outlasted five other men, including your self, to win the top prize in the industry. I am the world champion...a prize that has seemed to crumble everyone of it's holders soon after loosing their spot. The only man not to tuck tail and head for the hills after loosing was Twister. He has garnered my respect, but don't confuse that for weakness, cause if he decides to make a run for my belt, he will fall flat like the aftermath from a nuclear explosion. Then you have certain folks running their mouths. Yeah I hear it, it's all over the back. This certain individual thinks he may be the greatest thing to ever come to wrestling, thinks his shit don't stink, and that he is better then any one else in that locker room. Listen Phate the fact of the matter is that once you lost, you disappeared, and then returned. Now your throwing a fit because people haven't dropped to their knees, and bowed to your greatness. Listen dude while you where gone, I hate to say it....you weren't missed. In fact people stepped up in your place, to pick up the broken pieces that you left behind. Now you back...let us throw you a parade fitting for someone of your calibur....We will place Kenny Lambardo, John Green and yourself on a float, run you all over town so the world can gander at the former champions that couldn't hack it, have fallen from grace, but still seem to think they deserve the whole fucking world on a silver platter. The way I see it Phate...you should be here facing Ricochet, and then every other person along the ladder before you can catch another shot at the title that I now own. Prove that you are straight, you won't be pulling any Houdini acts, and prove that you can be in a fed that doesn't just drop down and coddle your balls. The real point behind the whole rant is this.....Jason Ricochet I don't feel Phate deserves shit, either do you. So tonight you will be facing off with a man that has earned his spot, by coming out for these fans, for the APW, and for myself most importantly. Jason Ricochet you don't have what it takes to be the world champion let alone face the world champion. I will destroy in the center of that ring. I will punish you, make a statement with you. When winning the world title there was no celebration, no fuss, fuck I think I'm the only one who gives a shit. I don't bitch, I don't complain, I just keep moving froward. Tonight I move right through Jason Ricochet like a beef supreme Gordita from your local Bell. It's simple you earn respect around here despite what people think. Me having the title is the perfect example. Unlike other champions, I don't get parades, confetti, or celebration...I simply come to work do my job. Tonight my job entails smashing the spleen of Jason Ricochet...and soon the job will consist of bringing people back down to reality, letting them know that no matter how good they are, there is always someone better....that someone is ME.
Sabur then grabs the world title, places it over his shoulder. The school bell then rings, and the people get out of their chairs to exit the classroom.
The current world champion Sabur walks into the classroom. Wearing a pair of jeans , and a black Death Clutch t-shirt. In his right hand is is the APW world championship, and in his left is a yard stick. The big man comes into the room that is filled with chatter. He folds the world title up nicely and sets it on his desk displaying it to all who wish to gaze upon the beauty. The big man clears his throat to get the attention of the class of misfits. They pay no mind to the big guy. He then takes the yard sticks, and slaps it on his desk. The loud noise rings out like a crack from a Singapore cane. Trevor Blackwell looks up with attention, it's as if there was joy in his eyes as that sound filled the air. Sabur then takes the yard stick using it as a pointer.
Sabur: Hello class...I'm your teacher Sabur. (Pointing to his name plate on the title belt)
The large muscle bound wrestler realizes he still does not have ail the attention toward the front.
Sabur: Dr. Matt....whats up....your sleeping in my class.
Dr. Matt: Dude I'm tired...between working, school, social life...fuck I'm dog tired man.
Sabur: Hey...I fully understand...take it easy...I'm not a tough ass like principal O'Rielly...it's cool with me for you to take a breather. So today folks we are holding a class on just exactly what Jason Ricochet could beat me at, and lets be honest guy's wrestling will not be on the list.
Just then Sabur's attention is diverted.
Sabur: Hey Jeff...you alright...no daydreaming in my class
Jeff: Sorry teach.
Sabur: Fuck man...thinking about being a superhero again...how many times do I have to tell you the Disney Movie Sky High is fiction...there is no school for heroes.
Jeff: I'm not thinking about super heroes again.
Sabur: OK so you a visioning Gregory Helms crotch area...either way you not focusing on the lesson. No on to what Jason Ricochet can beat me at. First Pokemon...I don't know the first thin about Pokemon...but from what I hear Jason Ricochet is a hell of a Poke Player....when it comes to those Poke' Balls he can catch then all.
Lil Dick snickers "He said Balls"
Trevor then smirks and adds "He said he can catch all the balls....Ha"
Sabur: Alright guy's we are all young adults here...except maybe Trevor...he a little aged and over the hill. So moving on....now Chutes and Ladders....I used to be excellent at that game as a child, but from the legend of Jason Ricochet...he's never been beaten at it...
Lil Dick: Where is that...in a text book or something.
Sabur: I think I saw it scroll on the screen during one of his promos or something...but hey Chutes and Ladders is a technical game...and if he's then man...then he's the man. Now the other thing he probably could beat me at is Gay Chicken.
Jeff: What's Gay Chicken?
Sabur: Like you don't know Jeff...anyways for those of you not informed...it's a game where two guy's sits across from each other. One then begins the game placing his hand on a guy's thigh. Then the other out does his opponent by moving a little closer up the thigh...the one who out Gay's the other is the victor...and Jason is the undisputed world champion of Gay Chicken.
The class ooooh's and ahhhh's in amazement.
Sabur: I know, a true talent hunh. Anyways there are many things Jason Ricochet is great at, and quite frankly would destroy me in. Like Ping Pong, Jacks, Jenga,Uno, SkipBo, and puzzle building, but in the ring he stands no chance. Jason Ricochet realized inside that chamber that yeah he does deserve a contract with APW. He also was faced with the reality that in no certain way does he have what it takes to be a main event player. You see this (pointing at the world title on his desk), I wasn't just handed this title. I was given a shot to nab the belt from a guy heading out of the company. I didn;t just beat on person to become world champion....I outlasted five other men, including your self, to win the top prize in the industry. I am the world champion...a prize that has seemed to crumble everyone of it's holders soon after loosing their spot. The only man not to tuck tail and head for the hills after loosing was Twister. He has garnered my respect, but don't confuse that for weakness, cause if he decides to make a run for my belt, he will fall flat like the aftermath from a nuclear explosion. Then you have certain folks running their mouths. Yeah I hear it, it's all over the back. This certain individual thinks he may be the greatest thing to ever come to wrestling, thinks his shit don't stink, and that he is better then any one else in that locker room. Listen Phate the fact of the matter is that once you lost, you disappeared, and then returned. Now your throwing a fit because people haven't dropped to their knees, and bowed to your greatness. Listen dude while you where gone, I hate to say it....you weren't missed. In fact people stepped up in your place, to pick up the broken pieces that you left behind. Now you back...let us throw you a parade fitting for someone of your calibur....We will place Kenny Lambardo, John Green and yourself on a float, run you all over town so the world can gander at the former champions that couldn't hack it, have fallen from grace, but still seem to think they deserve the whole fucking world on a silver platter. The way I see it Phate...you should be here facing Ricochet, and then every other person along the ladder before you can catch another shot at the title that I now own. Prove that you are straight, you won't be pulling any Houdini acts, and prove that you can be in a fed that doesn't just drop down and coddle your balls. The real point behind the whole rant is this.....Jason Ricochet I don't feel Phate deserves shit, either do you. So tonight you will be facing off with a man that has earned his spot, by coming out for these fans, for the APW, and for myself most importantly. Jason Ricochet you don't have what it takes to be the world champion let alone face the world champion. I will destroy in the center of that ring. I will punish you, make a statement with you. When winning the world title there was no celebration, no fuss, fuck I think I'm the only one who gives a shit. I don't bitch, I don't complain, I just keep moving froward. Tonight I move right through Jason Ricochet like a beef supreme Gordita from your local Bell. It's simple you earn respect around here despite what people think. Me having the title is the perfect example. Unlike other champions, I don't get parades, confetti, or celebration...I simply come to work do my job. Tonight my job entails smashing the spleen of Jason Ricochet...and soon the job will consist of bringing people back down to reality, letting them know that no matter how good they are, there is always someone better....that someone is ME.
Sabur then grabs the world title, places it over his shoulder. The school bell then rings, and the people get out of their chairs to exit the classroom.
