Post by Link on Dec 1, 2008 22:00:02 GMT -4
Standing around waiting impatiently Link looks around frantically. He seems annoyed and frustrated. Between looking around he looks down at his wristwatch as if he’d find the time would somehow be wrong. He’s barely touched his water or the free bread and he’s on his seventh glass of whiskey. He sits and waits before he can no longer bare sitting here bored, annoyed and stood up. He stands behind his table on the outside patio of a local sports bar and grill. He gets up frustrated and walks into the main restaurant and over to the bar. “Whiskey. Neat.” The barkeep sensing the disgruntled and troubled patron strikes up a conversation.
Bartender: What seems to be the problem my friend?
Link: Its really annoying ya know, when you get a call from a business associate who wants to go over plans and strategies for success but then fails to show up. I mean he said, lets meet at “the locker room” and I thought he meant this establishment, but the more and more I think about it, the douchebag probably wanted to meet at some random “locker room” at the arena.
Bartender: Well what do you do?
Link: I’m a fighter. A wrestler.
Bartender: Well his logic makes sense.
Link: Does it? I never understood why so many idiot wrestlers hung around the arena on days other than the day of the show. Why would I go there today? Why would anyone be there right now? Its just frustrating. He and I are in a tag match this Monday against Level One and Dr. Matt.
Bartender: That doesn’t sound real.
Link: I know, they are a ridiculous pair. They remind me of an old sitcom that my parents would watch, in between Mary Tyler Moore show, and Maude.
Bartender: And what would a Dr. Matt and Level-One show be like?
Link: I don’t know barkeep, probably a laugh track, and predictable plot points, fake problems that can be solved if only one person shuts their mouth and another person just says what they truly feel. It would be the first show to feature two roommates with great jobs with a great pay looking for love. They would be put in funny situations where they almost get the girl but by the end of the episode end up alone at home. The audience knows that Dr. Matt and Level have good intentions, but that they are too gay for themselves to ever find true success.
Bartender: Huh?
Link: I don’t fucking know, I’m just talking off the top of my head. My point is that if you always have your own hand jerking off your own dick, how will you ever be able to grab a hold of a coveted goal.
Bartender: Use your other hand?
Link: You can masturbate with one hand, but it takes two to succeed.
Bartender: You aren’t making sense; I think this will be your last drink.
Link: Fuck you man.
Link realizing that he is in fact drunk and has been drunkenly rambling about things that sounded like good ideas in his head, but probably came out confusing and foolish tries to change the subject in hopes to restore his reputation and possibly get served another drink in the process.
Link: I just hate mixing business and pleasure ya know. Which I’ve been forced to do. I’ve got to juggle between torturing this kidnapped bitch that’s trying to kill me and enlightening Hurricane Jeff’s stupid ass, and holding a title, and living out of a warehouse now that I’ve blown up my apartment…
Realizing that again he is just rambling he gets up mid sentence puts down the money he owes and exits to sober up.
Fades
We fade back into find Link in a dark, damp, abandoned, rusty room (not Arcadia’s Vagina) that is barely lit in Links aforementioned warehouse. He stands frowning, sober and visibly frustrated. He stands with under a light bulb that swings lightly from a chain that is doing its best to shine some light in this dark room.
Link: I’m paired with Trevor Blackwell? The only reason I can come up with for this booking is that Hurricane Jeff is continuing his Screw Link Tour 2008. Trevor Blackwell’s bitch had the nerve to condescend like I was some fucking weak Link? P.S. hoe, I won the Overdrive Title and I haven’t lost it to anyone especially not Fyre Angel. The fact that Trevor Blackwell hangs around dumb cunts worries me. Also, the fact that he lost worries me. I know I can perform, I’ve proved that shit time and time again. I can beat Level One and as far as I’m concerned I BEAT LEVEL ONE! HJ screwed me out of that justified win. Level One NEEDED that loss, so Jeff screwed him just as much as he screwed me. I think Jeff likes screwing men.
Link: Anyway, if Trevor can redeem himself and take out Dr. Matt we are golden. I’ve got Level-Ones number, and I’ve beaten Dr. Matt with little to no effort. The Career Killer and I definitely look like the underdogs, but that’s where I thrive. And after Sunday, I’m dying to get my hands around Level-Ones chubby fucking neck. And I know The Career Killer wants some revenge of his own. Bottom line is, it’s a tag match with four pissed off people who don’t like each other. So my final thoughts…Career Killer, follow MY lead, do your part, and you and I will get our just deserved. Dr. Matt, you suck, and you are a phony. Level One, you are the most overrated piece of trash to show up on an APW Card and come Monday, YOURE FUCKED.
