Post by Arcadia on Sept 20, 2008 3:30:37 GMT -4
Katrina "Arcadia" Olivetti
frequently Closed Captioned by SAP
The scene opens inside the spacious lounge of the Los Angeles Hilton. Graceful potted palms stood almost sporadically between columns and cozy, forest green, chintz chairs. The nearly empty room was serene, with only the rustle of an occasional newspaper and the quite drone of a television to break the silence. Suddenly, a raucous laugh shattered the peace in the cream, green and gilt lounge.
The intrusion seemed to have come from an overly stuffed chair in front of a wall-mounted HDTV. The television set was playing an APW promo, by Jason "The Sensation" Ricochet. Hanging down the back of the chair was a long, platinum blonde braid. The seated woman threw back her head in a peel of laughter as the man on the screen had a drink thrown unceremoniously in his face, giving us a brief glimpse of a black and silver lucha mask adorning her facade.
When the image faded, Katrina Olivetti sat up, wiping away the tears of mirth that streamed down her leather mask and stood, shaking her head. Arcadia's cell phone rang and she answered, stifling her giggles, "Hola, Kat, here." She paused to listen to the caller. "Yes, I'll be there soon, I just have an unexpected stop to make first." Another pause. "No, just want to go shopping." She hung up the phone and walked out of the lobby and into the smog and sunshine, still chuckling.
Approximately thirty minutes later, the Hardcor-a Luchadora walked into the crowd-filled arena to the beat of her entrance music, "When Worlds Collide", carrying an X-pressions shopping bag. She climbed onto the ring apron and flipped over the top rope and into the ring. Arcadia grabbed a microphone and brought it to her lips.
"Hola, APW faithful! G-d it's good to be back! You guys finally get to see me back in action after two long months! That's right, I have a match against Jason "The Sensation" Ricochet this Monday night at Overdrive."
The crowd explodes in a mixture of cheers and jeers, some fans obviously wishing she had stayed on hiatus.
"Speaking of, let's get down to business." Katrina tossed her plait over her shoulder as she pivoted to face the other side of the crowd. "So apparently," Katrina cocked her arm at the elbow with her palm up, "I am the first female this guy gets to wrestle. Which means I am the first female who gets to beat him, as well...or actually, the first person, male or female. Jason is undefeated in APW. I used to have a win streak, you know. And I'm going to start a new one on Monday with you, Jason."
Player One turned and put her hands up in appeal. "Jason, you seem like a decent guy, so I'm gonna give you some advice. Forget that I'm a chick. Instead of seeing another one of your prepubescent masturbatory fantasies when you look at me, I want you to see the Hardcore High-Flying Bitch who's about to toss your ass all over the squared circle."
The crowd cheers in a distinctly feminine roar.
Katrina "Arcadia" Olivetti leaned nonchalantly against the ring post and checked her nails. "Actually, Jason "The Sensation", your right." Kat took on a pleading tone and clasped her hands together in front of her. "Please, go easy on me. I'm just a girl! Don't hit me too hard! You wouldn't want to bruise my beautiful," she swept her hand up her hip, "Luscious," she dragged her hand across her belly, "Body," she dragged the tip of one finger up across her shoulder and down her cleavage to rest, "Would you?"
The crowd cheers in a distinctly masculine roar.
Katrina shook off her faux vulnerability like a cloak and adopted a sarcastic voice, "What kind of name is Jason 'The Sensation', anyway? Hurricane Jeff chose that for you, right? You didn't actually choose that for yourself...right? I mean Jason...The Sensation...wait, it's because it rhymes! Oh now I get it! Yea. So. What have you done that's so sensational, Jason? You beat Rick "The Dick"? Oh, because that rhymes, too. Yea, that's...funny."
Katrina stops, suddenly serious, in the middle of the ring with a frown on her face. "Listen, kid, go back to whatever little Indie fed in New York spawned you. Go back to where you just might count if you're lucky, like NYWC or something. I hear Mikey Whipwreck is looking for mid-carders. In case you missed it, Jason, this is Monday night Overdrive. You in a match on world wide television with the Hardcor-a Luchadora. See? That rhymes, too! And that's the closest in similarity you come to a star like me. Regardless of your gender, by the time your done with your pretty little entrance, I'm going to leave you laying in the middle of the ring faster than you can say Ego-crusher."
The crowd boos at the reminder of that COK, Kenny Lambardo.
Player One turns to the camera and continues, "You know, I kind of see you predicament, though. Either you beat a girl and you're labeled an abuser, or you get beat by a girl and you're labeled a pussy. No sex for either option. Oh, and regardless of the fact that you must have gone on the prowl in the least feminist bar in America, I really do feel bad about have cost you your, um...fun...for the night. So I'm going to make it up to you."
Katrina grabs the X-Pressions bag that she had deposited in the corner of the ring as the crowd whoops and howls.
She smiles at the crowd and says, "I know you decided not to get me roses, or to wine and dine me, but I bought you a present anyway." She reaches into the bag while biting her lower lip. The camera zooms in on her activities while a live feed broadcast of the same glares to life on the Titantron for those in the top tiers. She extracts her hand from the bag and the world sees a box with the words "Pocket Pussy" printed in swirling pink letters across the top and sides.
The crowd erupts in a resonating, "OOOOOOHHHHH!"
Katrina Olivetti walks to the edge of the ring and hands the box and the bag to a crew member, who runs it backstage. "I'll just leave that for you in the locker rooms. You never know how long this dry spell might last." Arcadia winks at the camera and says, "I hope you weren't expecting my personal services, but in case you were, let me show you what happened to the last few people who had my head at their waist."
The Titantron lights up again showing what appears to be small segments of Katrina "Arcadia" Olivetti's previous matches. in each one, Arcadia is doing a split and reaching for something. The shots zoom in and it immediately becomes apparent that she is not, in fact, reaching for anything, but performing her signature move "Johnny Cage's Ballbuster" on each and every one of her opponents. The first on the screen to go down is the E-Starr, followed by Fyreangel, then Dr. Phate,and lastly, The "Ace" Austin Daniels. Each shot is followed by an "Oh!" from the crowd.
Katrina turns from watching the screen back to the crowd and the camera. "So, If I were you, Jason "The Sensation" Ricochet, I wouldn't get too excited. In fact, if I were you, I would lay flat on my back and let me do all my favorite moves on you. Because that is where I'm going to put you anyway. On your back, without the satisfaction of a Happy Ending. And it will be the most "Sensational" thing you've felt since you discovered your left hand."
The crowd cheers.
Katrina walks to the ring post and says, "By the way, Jason. Never forget this if you are going to meet me in the ring. Bring your A game, because you're all out of lives, and you don't have anymore tokens." She hops out of the ring and saunters back up the ramp to the crowd's cat calls.
Harvey: Katrina looks more than ready for her upcoming match.
Chase: Yeah, It's about time she came back.
The scene fades out.
frequently Closed Captioned by SAP
The scene opens inside the spacious lounge of the Los Angeles Hilton. Graceful potted palms stood almost sporadically between columns and cozy, forest green, chintz chairs. The nearly empty room was serene, with only the rustle of an occasional newspaper and the quite drone of a television to break the silence. Suddenly, a raucous laugh shattered the peace in the cream, green and gilt lounge.
The intrusion seemed to have come from an overly stuffed chair in front of a wall-mounted HDTV. The television set was playing an APW promo, by Jason "The Sensation" Ricochet. Hanging down the back of the chair was a long, platinum blonde braid. The seated woman threw back her head in a peel of laughter as the man on the screen had a drink thrown unceremoniously in his face, giving us a brief glimpse of a black and silver lucha mask adorning her facade.
When the image faded, Katrina Olivetti sat up, wiping away the tears of mirth that streamed down her leather mask and stood, shaking her head. Arcadia's cell phone rang and she answered, stifling her giggles, "Hola, Kat, here." She paused to listen to the caller. "Yes, I'll be there soon, I just have an unexpected stop to make first." Another pause. "No, just want to go shopping." She hung up the phone and walked out of the lobby and into the smog and sunshine, still chuckling.
Approximately thirty minutes later, the Hardcor-a Luchadora walked into the crowd-filled arena to the beat of her entrance music, "When Worlds Collide", carrying an X-pressions shopping bag. She climbed onto the ring apron and flipped over the top rope and into the ring. Arcadia grabbed a microphone and brought it to her lips.
"Hola, APW faithful! G-d it's good to be back! You guys finally get to see me back in action after two long months! That's right, I have a match against Jason "The Sensation" Ricochet this Monday night at Overdrive."
The crowd explodes in a mixture of cheers and jeers, some fans obviously wishing she had stayed on hiatus.
"Speaking of, let's get down to business." Katrina tossed her plait over her shoulder as she pivoted to face the other side of the crowd. "So apparently," Katrina cocked her arm at the elbow with her palm up, "I am the first female this guy gets to wrestle. Which means I am the first female who gets to beat him, as well...or actually, the first person, male or female. Jason is undefeated in APW. I used to have a win streak, you know. And I'm going to start a new one on Monday with you, Jason."
Player One turned and put her hands up in appeal. "Jason, you seem like a decent guy, so I'm gonna give you some advice. Forget that I'm a chick. Instead of seeing another one of your prepubescent masturbatory fantasies when you look at me, I want you to see the Hardcore High-Flying Bitch who's about to toss your ass all over the squared circle."
The crowd cheers in a distinctly feminine roar.
Katrina "Arcadia" Olivetti leaned nonchalantly against the ring post and checked her nails. "Actually, Jason "The Sensation", your right." Kat took on a pleading tone and clasped her hands together in front of her. "Please, go easy on me. I'm just a girl! Don't hit me too hard! You wouldn't want to bruise my beautiful," she swept her hand up her hip, "Luscious," she dragged her hand across her belly, "Body," she dragged the tip of one finger up across her shoulder and down her cleavage to rest, "Would you?"
The crowd cheers in a distinctly masculine roar.
Katrina shook off her faux vulnerability like a cloak and adopted a sarcastic voice, "What kind of name is Jason 'The Sensation', anyway? Hurricane Jeff chose that for you, right? You didn't actually choose that for yourself...right? I mean Jason...The Sensation...wait, it's because it rhymes! Oh now I get it! Yea. So. What have you done that's so sensational, Jason? You beat Rick "The Dick"? Oh, because that rhymes, too. Yea, that's...funny."
Katrina stops, suddenly serious, in the middle of the ring with a frown on her face. "Listen, kid, go back to whatever little Indie fed in New York spawned you. Go back to where you just might count if you're lucky, like NYWC or something. I hear Mikey Whipwreck is looking for mid-carders. In case you missed it, Jason, this is Monday night Overdrive. You in a match on world wide television with the Hardcor-a Luchadora. See? That rhymes, too! And that's the closest in similarity you come to a star like me. Regardless of your gender, by the time your done with your pretty little entrance, I'm going to leave you laying in the middle of the ring faster than you can say Ego-crusher."
The crowd boos at the reminder of that COK, Kenny Lambardo.
Player One turns to the camera and continues, "You know, I kind of see you predicament, though. Either you beat a girl and you're labeled an abuser, or you get beat by a girl and you're labeled a pussy. No sex for either option. Oh, and regardless of the fact that you must have gone on the prowl in the least feminist bar in America, I really do feel bad about have cost you your, um...fun...for the night. So I'm going to make it up to you."
Katrina grabs the X-Pressions bag that she had deposited in the corner of the ring as the crowd whoops and howls.
She smiles at the crowd and says, "I know you decided not to get me roses, or to wine and dine me, but I bought you a present anyway." She reaches into the bag while biting her lower lip. The camera zooms in on her activities while a live feed broadcast of the same glares to life on the Titantron for those in the top tiers. She extracts her hand from the bag and the world sees a box with the words "Pocket Pussy" printed in swirling pink letters across the top and sides.
The crowd erupts in a resonating, "OOOOOOHHHHH!"
Katrina Olivetti walks to the edge of the ring and hands the box and the bag to a crew member, who runs it backstage. "I'll just leave that for you in the locker rooms. You never know how long this dry spell might last." Arcadia winks at the camera and says, "I hope you weren't expecting my personal services, but in case you were, let me show you what happened to the last few people who had my head at their waist."
The Titantron lights up again showing what appears to be small segments of Katrina "Arcadia" Olivetti's previous matches. in each one, Arcadia is doing a split and reaching for something. The shots zoom in and it immediately becomes apparent that she is not, in fact, reaching for anything, but performing her signature move "Johnny Cage's Ballbuster" on each and every one of her opponents. The first on the screen to go down is the E-Starr, followed by Fyreangel, then Dr. Phate,and lastly, The "Ace" Austin Daniels. Each shot is followed by an "Oh!" from the crowd.
Katrina turns from watching the screen back to the crowd and the camera. "So, If I were you, Jason "The Sensation" Ricochet, I wouldn't get too excited. In fact, if I were you, I would lay flat on my back and let me do all my favorite moves on you. Because that is where I'm going to put you anyway. On your back, without the satisfaction of a Happy Ending. And it will be the most "Sensational" thing you've felt since you discovered your left hand."
The crowd cheers.
Katrina walks to the ring post and says, "By the way, Jason. Never forget this if you are going to meet me in the ring. Bring your A game, because you're all out of lives, and you don't have anymore tokens." She hops out of the ring and saunters back up the ramp to the crowd's cat calls.
Harvey: Katrina looks more than ready for her upcoming match.
Chase: Yeah, It's about time she came back.
The scene fades out.
