Post by Dr. Wacko on Sept 22, 2008 20:54:31 GMT -4
After selling his renovated where house in Detroit, Link purchased an old television studio located on an old lot in the Warner Bros. property. There he converted the studio into the set for Dr. Wacko's new talk show. "Dr. 90210's Grey Anatomy House of ER!" Temporarily allowing Dr. Wacko to use his studio as payment for the work that he had already done for Link. The set of the show featured large posters in the background of various famous TV doctors and various photos of Michael Lively. There were two seats in the middle of the stage angled towards each other and a coffee table in the middle. Lights flashed around the stage as Dr. Wacko came forth and addressed the fictional audience. He sits down in the chair on the left and introduces the premiere of his show.
Dr. Wacko: Welcome to the Dr. 90210's Grey Anatomy House of ER! Hosted by yours truly Dr. Wacko! Yes, after weeks of anticipation and speculation we have come to this monumental event. Believe me we are going to have a great show for you today. So many topics to discuss, including: Hurricane Jeff, Link, Michael Lively, and the King of the Cage. Also, we have some great guests joining us tonight! Playing music from their new album Metallica! Also, this woman had a very handsome man come out of her vagine, Mrs. Lively! But first I'd like to introduce you to the man that made this all possible, the man who will be your NEXT World Heavyweight Champion, Link!
Fake applause and cheering can be heard as Link confidently struts onto the stage and takes a seat. He wears a pinstriped gray suit.
DW: Welcome to the show.
Link: Thank you Lesley. I won't take up much of your time as I know you want to address APW and the world about many subjects, especially your favorite subject, Matt Lively, so I will be brief. I came back to APW for a few reasons some of which have already come to fruition. I wanted to see what APW had become and as I expected, it’s full of trash. Full of greedy, self praising, hypocrites that look for the easy way out to find success and what they believe are happiness. I see a good man in charge, corrupted by power and wealth. I saw a former champion, Dr. Phate, who made a mockery of this business and his entire gender by his actions, and I see a current champion who is undeserving and selfish. I demanded that Dr. Phate disappear from APW and that’s exactly what happened. I demanded that Dr. Wacko lose his match last week to a weak competitor to know what defeat tastes like, and that’s what he did. I demand Hurricane Jeff speak to me on Overdrive, and that's what he did. Now Jeff, speaking to someone that was once my former tag team partner I'm very saddened that you didn't welcome me with open arms, I am saddened by the rude behavior you displayed, but Jeffery I promise you that I will do whatever it is in my power to regain power in this company and turn this ship around. I am joining your little tournament and I will make it to the elimination chamber match and I will become the next World Heavyweight champion, and when I do, changes will be made. You know what I am capable of; you know the lengths to my madness. You witnessed my plots unfold upon the talent of EWC, do you really wish that upon your precious APW roster? Make the right decision. Step down as President and vacate all the titles. Equalize this company.
Dr. Wacko: Well....thanks for that...Not much of an interview, more of a monologue but that's okay! We need to take a commercial break, but we will be back with our next guest Mrs. Lively!
*fades*
Dr. Wacko stands in front of his set smiling sadistically as we fade back into the program.
Dr. Wacko: My next guest is a very lucky woman. She is the mother of the Jesus, the caregiver of the White hot Lion, the host of the most, Mrs. Motherfucking Lively!
An elderly homeless lady slowly walks onto the set and up to Dr. Wacko. The two hug and take a seat. It is clearly not Mrs. Lively
"Mrs. Lively": Where are the sandwiches, I was told there would be sandwiches.
DW: Soon Mrs. Lively, very soon. Okay, tell me what is it like birthing the single most important wrestler in the world today?
"Mrs. Lively": Well, it wasn't always fun and games. You see Mikeys father was sent to prison when he was born.
DW: Drug trafficking right?
"Mrs. Lively": No, Mr. Lively is a convicted sex offender.
DW: What?
"Mrs. Lively": He likes little boys. He is also the only one in our county who successfully committed a sexual crime on a minor before they were born.
DW: You mean...
"Mrs. Lively": Yes young Mikey was touched by his father while he was still inside me.
DW: Damn. That explains his uneasy social behaviors and hatred towards women.
"Mrs. Lively": Well, I don't know if that's the reason. You see, I always wanted a little girl, and I knew with my husband in jail I would be getting pounded like the New England Patriots did yesterday, so I'd be on birth control and Mikey would be my only. So well, while Mikey was young, I would, as his Father wasn't around to stop me, dress him up like a little girl. Nothing too crazy. I just gave him high heels, sun dresses, eye shadow, earrings, a corset, a pink bow, a tiny parasol, little frilly undies, and lavender lipstick. I think that Mikey began resenting women, because, he wasn't one. He always wanted to be one, I mean, that’s how he was raised.
DW: Oh...my...Go
"Mrs. Lively": Don't you dare take the Lords name in vain!
DW: Ma'am your son does it all the time!
"Mrs. Lively": At a young age I tried raising my boy Christian. I told him that Jesus was inside him. Not the way his daddy was inside other boys, but that Jesus lived inside him. I think he took it too seriously, you see my boy wasn't really the smartest boy.
DW: This has been enlightening. I think that's all the time we have for today. Unfortunately, I won't be able to discuss my thoughts on King of the Cage, but I’m SURE Michael Lively will win. I mean, who else is there? Moses Lake?
Dr. Wacko, "Mrs. Lively", and the laugh track fill the studio with laughter as the show fades to black.
Dr. Wacko: haha, oh Moses Lake...
"Mrs. Lively": Are we still having sandwiches?...
___
Fading back into the scene, the set and environment seem desolate and empty. The camera pans as we see Dr. Wacko with his back to a desk sitting in a very large pile of letters. Dr. Wacko isn't smiling anymore. Dr. Wacko almost looks normal for once. Even his hair, while still messed up appears to be messed up in order.
Dr. Wacko: Look at all these fan letters. Heh, I wish they were fan letters to the Dr. 90210's Grey Anatomy House of ER! If they were I would respond to each and every one of them. I would frame them on my wall. I would pleasure myself to the idea that people actually care about me. No, these letters are not from my fans. These letters are all written by me. They are letters that I wrote to Michael Lively. They are mostly unopened and untouched, save for the first dozen, but they all now display the stamp "Return to Sender". You know...I don't...get it. You see, Michael Lively was my hero...and....um...yeah, heroes aren't supposed to...uh...act like this...right. He led me to believe that he was my...save....my...savior. Michael Lively's talents cannot be ignored. He is the Overdrive champion. He is the champion of the show. But you know what I've come to realize...I've come to realize that Lively, is not perfect. Hmmm...not perfect. Not just because of a horrible childhood, no. He is messed up for many a reasons. He is untouched by women, and not connected with real....not connected with reality. No. Yes, he is beautiful. I will never refute that. I have countlessly compared Michael with my former patients, even diagnosing them based on him. I have compared him to previous opponents and none of ever measured up. You see, Mr. Livelys daddy wasn't there for him, and his mom is crack whore. I have come to realize that Michael Lively is blind. He can't see the beauty in front of him. Take last week, he treated me like trash when all I wanted to do was praise him. Earlier this week, I camped out in front of his hotel room, I called him, and I emailed him. I followed him, but all I got was the police called on me. Why? Can't you see that I love you? Can't you see that you and I were meant to be together?! I don't think you can see that White Lion. I don't think you have vision. I think you are a fool. You aren't Jesus, you aren't a savior, and you aren't...and you aren't my...sigh...you aren't my friend! WHY?! We could have been tag team champions. You could have been overdrive champion and I could have been your valet, I mean lover, I mean body guard. I want to guard your body.
Dr. Wacko stares off camera in a daze repeating "I want to guard your body."
Dr. Wacko: No, you wouldn't have it! Last night I was watching your videos and after I cleaned up, I realized that you won't ever see what you are missing, and maybe just maybe I can beat it out of you. I will try this week. I will. But more importantly I realized that I know you better than you know yourself. So then I got to thinking. What if I became Michael Lively? What if Michael Lively lived inside of me? And I was both Dr. Wacko AND Michael Lively!? I liked the sound of that! So, I realized that this week I will have to beat you so badly, that you will A) realize who the fuck you aren't fucking B) that I am worthy of replacing you. C) I might actually be....better....than .... you. Yes...I am better than you. I have to be. I know everything about you. I've studied you. I know what you eat, what you dream about, where you go to unwind. I know you listen to "Crazy" by Seal before every match. I know you've got a crush on Iggy Iguana but you are too racist to admit it. I know how much you hate being overdrive champion and aspire to do other things. I can be the answer. I am the answer. Do me....a favor. Don't be gentle with me. Be rough. Be your hardest. And I promise I will reciprocate with a deep pounding that you will never forget. And you will wake up the next day, aching and sore realizing that you missed an opportunity of a lifetime! You missed out on US! Michael Lively, you are my main event. You are my title match. Beating you is all I have left in this world and I plan on doing it. And then, I'm gone. I'll be around APW backstage if you ever change your mind about us, but in terms of my career, consider this my retirement. I've done my job for Link and now it’s his time. But I have one last thing to do, and I'm doing this not for him, APW, the fans, or even glory but for me. I've got one last thing to do and that's you.
*Fades*
