Post by hxcprincess on Sept 15, 2008 19:34:11 GMT -4
As our broadcast begins inside the darkness of the arena, the titantron flickers on with a touch of static.
Harvey: we’re waiting right now for an appearance by Kristina Blackwell. She has a larger than life week this week.
Chase: Well check out the screen, I think we may just get one.
The image comes in clear as the beautiful bust of Kristina Blackwell, sitting behind a brown desk. The lighting is positioned in such a way that her face was too shadowed to see clearly. She wore her version of a business suit, except it looked like something a bimbo would wear for Halloween. Her hands were together, folded on the desk in a business fashion. When she finally spoke, she did so clearly and to the point without a hint of irony.
“Hello, all of APW. Before I enter in my match with the legendary Matt Metal I wish for all of you to be clear on my purpose here and anywhere. I am speaking mainly to the women. Tonight I will attempt to beat a wrestler with an ability and experience thought to be beyond that of any woman. He has an old school mentality that some women see as offensive. But please, know this. I am not attempting to make a point. I do not wish to be a role model. I care not for your so called struggle for equality as other women have. I will leave that to the late Diana Steel, Spirit Tara Jacobs and others who give a damn about you. I do not care, because I am not one of you. I am above and beyond what the vast majority of you useless bitches and I am simply asserting that fact. To be completely clear, I am better than each and every one of you. Now if I have ever given you reason to believe that I in anyway empathize with you, I am truly sorry. I hope I have cleared things up a bit.”
When the screen went to black, the entire packed arena was silent as the camera zoomed in on some wide eyed men and women staring blankly at the screen.
Harvey: Holy…
Chase: I know! That lighting made her breasts look even better!
Harvey: That was outrageous! Kristina just denounced her entire female fan base as nothing at all!
Chase: She will be mine…one day.
Harvey: The fans don’t know what to make of this at all! And I don’t blame them!
Just then the silence is broken when “Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums” by A Perfect Circle begins to blast overhead. Kristina’s music.
Harvey: Oh my God, after that statement she’s going to show herself here?
Chase: I like it, I think she’s got moxy!
Whether or not it was ‘moxy’†, who can tell, but Kristina was headed in. Up the ramp in her usual style as if nothing was different at all. Except it was different. Some people were still cheering, but not very many. The rest was silence. Just before hopping in the ring she snatched up a folding chair, swinging it in before her. She set it up and took a seat, her black ruffled skirt dangling to barely touch the seat of the chair. She sat, and stayed there, and waited. This went on for several, long painful minutes.
Harvey: The suspense is killing me.
Chase: It’s…so…quiet.
Finally Kristina grinned her big smile and the sound of the audience went from silent to uproarious within seconds. It sounded mostly of boos but cheers were not completely absent. They never are for the Blackwell’s. But something tells us all that Kristina meant for it to be this way as she smiled wide and brought the mic to her lips. And like it were rehearsed, as soon as she cleared her throat the crowd hushed themselves.
“Did it really surprise you that much? I mean, listen to yourselves. You’re sheep. Anyway, that’s what the video was for! You all know why I’m realllllly here, don’t you?” She raised her eyebrows and used a mocking tone, swinging her feet underneath the chair. “Oh, Metal…” She smiled even wider. “You know Metal we might have started this off the wrong way. Or well…I may have started it off the wrong way. But you understand the way us Blackwells work don’t you? I was just delivering a message from my brother, you know.” Kristina sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Metal, sweetheart. You know people always loved the Metalmania but don’t you think it’s about time you took advantage of your historic career and settled down someplace cozy in upper management? I mean honey as of late…what have you done worthy of your old reputation? You were really something back in the day. A hero, a champion. But APW is full of the up and comings. The new to-do’s. And guess who’s one of those?” She smiled and winked out at the skeptical crowd. “That’s right old timer, that’d be me. And what would be a really great way for me to prove myself as the next big thing, not to mention the hottest thing on two legs? Wrapping my silky smooth legs around your partially eroded neck until you tap or pass out! Yes, I think that’ll do just fine. After that, my brother and you can do whatever you like. My favor to him was done as soon as that Singapore cane broke over your arthritic spine. This match I’m doing for the betterment of the person I care about most in this world. Me!” Kristina uncrossed her legs and leaned over, hands on her thighs. “Don’t worry kids, we’ve got a show for you this week! Filled with our regular antics, surprises, matches galore. Brought to you by President Jeff, and the Blackwells!” Kristina stood up and adjusted her skirt. “Oh, one more thing before I go. If you folks at home want to log on to the APW website there will be a poll waiting for you. Log your guesses on the outcome of my match against Medieval Matty, and the person (or persons) with the most correct answer will get a very special prize from yours truly. The prize itself will be named along with the winner. So, knock yourselves out.” She winked again and started to leave. Then, catching herself she ran back to pick up the mic again. “Oh oh, and if you vote against me I’ll find you and put you in my punching bag. Bye!” She waved enthusiastically and hopped and skipped down the ramp out of the arena.
Chase: I think I might vote against her.
Harvey: You think she’s going to lose?
Chase: No, but if she puts me in her punching bag she might let me touch her later.
Harvey: Doubtful. But good luck with that. Anyway, we’ll have to wait and see what the outcome of this very telling match will be. Tune in folks.
--------
† Moxy is not technically a real word, rather a slang term developed in pop culture to mean having guts, balls, courage, or as some might say...a special 'oomf' if you will. I warn you to please not tell our boy Chase about this for moxy is one of his very favorite words ever since if was used on his favorite television drama: The OC. He's a simple man, and it would ruin him.
Harvey: we’re waiting right now for an appearance by Kristina Blackwell. She has a larger than life week this week.
Chase: Well check out the screen, I think we may just get one.
The image comes in clear as the beautiful bust of Kristina Blackwell, sitting behind a brown desk. The lighting is positioned in such a way that her face was too shadowed to see clearly. She wore her version of a business suit, except it looked like something a bimbo would wear for Halloween. Her hands were together, folded on the desk in a business fashion. When she finally spoke, she did so clearly and to the point without a hint of irony.
“Hello, all of APW. Before I enter in my match with the legendary Matt Metal I wish for all of you to be clear on my purpose here and anywhere. I am speaking mainly to the women. Tonight I will attempt to beat a wrestler with an ability and experience thought to be beyond that of any woman. He has an old school mentality that some women see as offensive. But please, know this. I am not attempting to make a point. I do not wish to be a role model. I care not for your so called struggle for equality as other women have. I will leave that to the late Diana Steel, Spirit Tara Jacobs and others who give a damn about you. I do not care, because I am not one of you. I am above and beyond what the vast majority of you useless bitches and I am simply asserting that fact. To be completely clear, I am better than each and every one of you. Now if I have ever given you reason to believe that I in anyway empathize with you, I am truly sorry. I hope I have cleared things up a bit.”
When the screen went to black, the entire packed arena was silent as the camera zoomed in on some wide eyed men and women staring blankly at the screen.
Harvey: Holy…
Chase: I know! That lighting made her breasts look even better!
Harvey: That was outrageous! Kristina just denounced her entire female fan base as nothing at all!
Chase: She will be mine…one day.
Harvey: The fans don’t know what to make of this at all! And I don’t blame them!
Just then the silence is broken when “Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums” by A Perfect Circle begins to blast overhead. Kristina’s music.
Harvey: Oh my God, after that statement she’s going to show herself here?
Chase: I like it, I think she’s got moxy!
Whether or not it was ‘moxy’†, who can tell, but Kristina was headed in. Up the ramp in her usual style as if nothing was different at all. Except it was different. Some people were still cheering, but not very many. The rest was silence. Just before hopping in the ring she snatched up a folding chair, swinging it in before her. She set it up and took a seat, her black ruffled skirt dangling to barely touch the seat of the chair. She sat, and stayed there, and waited. This went on for several, long painful minutes.
Harvey: The suspense is killing me.
Chase: It’s…so…quiet.
Finally Kristina grinned her big smile and the sound of the audience went from silent to uproarious within seconds. It sounded mostly of boos but cheers were not completely absent. They never are for the Blackwell’s. But something tells us all that Kristina meant for it to be this way as she smiled wide and brought the mic to her lips. And like it were rehearsed, as soon as she cleared her throat the crowd hushed themselves.
“Did it really surprise you that much? I mean, listen to yourselves. You’re sheep. Anyway, that’s what the video was for! You all know why I’m realllllly here, don’t you?” She raised her eyebrows and used a mocking tone, swinging her feet underneath the chair. “Oh, Metal…” She smiled even wider. “You know Metal we might have started this off the wrong way. Or well…I may have started it off the wrong way. But you understand the way us Blackwells work don’t you? I was just delivering a message from my brother, you know.” Kristina sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Metal, sweetheart. You know people always loved the Metalmania but don’t you think it’s about time you took advantage of your historic career and settled down someplace cozy in upper management? I mean honey as of late…what have you done worthy of your old reputation? You were really something back in the day. A hero, a champion. But APW is full of the up and comings. The new to-do’s. And guess who’s one of those?” She smiled and winked out at the skeptical crowd. “That’s right old timer, that’d be me. And what would be a really great way for me to prove myself as the next big thing, not to mention the hottest thing on two legs? Wrapping my silky smooth legs around your partially eroded neck until you tap or pass out! Yes, I think that’ll do just fine. After that, my brother and you can do whatever you like. My favor to him was done as soon as that Singapore cane broke over your arthritic spine. This match I’m doing for the betterment of the person I care about most in this world. Me!” Kristina uncrossed her legs and leaned over, hands on her thighs. “Don’t worry kids, we’ve got a show for you this week! Filled with our regular antics, surprises, matches galore. Brought to you by President Jeff, and the Blackwells!” Kristina stood up and adjusted her skirt. “Oh, one more thing before I go. If you folks at home want to log on to the APW website there will be a poll waiting for you. Log your guesses on the outcome of my match against Medieval Matty, and the person (or persons) with the most correct answer will get a very special prize from yours truly. The prize itself will be named along with the winner. So, knock yourselves out.” She winked again and started to leave. Then, catching herself she ran back to pick up the mic again. “Oh oh, and if you vote against me I’ll find you and put you in my punching bag. Bye!” She waved enthusiastically and hopped and skipped down the ramp out of the arena.
Chase: I think I might vote against her.
Harvey: You think she’s going to lose?
Chase: No, but if she puts me in her punching bag she might let me touch her later.
Harvey: Doubtful. But good luck with that. Anyway, we’ll have to wait and see what the outcome of this very telling match will be. Tune in folks.
--------
† Moxy is not technically a real word, rather a slang term developed in pop culture to mean having guts, balls, courage, or as some might say...a special 'oomf' if you will. I warn you to please not tell our boy Chase about this for moxy is one of his very favorite words ever since if was used on his favorite television drama: The OC. He's a simple man, and it would ruin him.
