Post by Your JESUS on Jul 10, 2008 19:45:09 GMT -4
Back stage the door to Sabur's locker room is seen, then it opens. Out walks the large muscle bound human wrecking machine, followed by his Lil Dick wearing his pink solider helmet. Sabur walks off then stops dead in his tracks, turns back then reaches down for the door. Sabur's large paw grabs the knob, turning it, but the door is locked.
Lil Dick: Did you forget something?
Sabur: Yeah my Irish Hammer necklace...it's my lucky charm...and I need all the luck in the world since I am facing the deadly Hardcore Kid.
Lil Dick looks at Sabur puzzled, then shakes his head. Sabur then looks over toward his midget friend, and grabs him by one shoulder, and one leg
Sabur: Hold still, it's time I jack hammer my Lil Dick into this door...it's sure to open.
Sabur then begins ramming the helmet head of his Lil Dick into the door. From behind it's looks like the Irish Hammer is fucking the door. His lower body thrusting forward, and a loud thud ringing out with each pump. Just then The Extremist walks up, Sabur stops then looks at Tony Blackwell.
Tony: Dude what the fuck are you doing?
Sabur: Trying to battle ram the door open, it's locked, and I need my lucky charm pendant.
Tony takes his arm and shoves the Hammer aside. Wiith a big swift boot placed right under the door knob, he kicks the door open, shattering it to pieces. Sabur looks at him with concern.
Sabur: Fucking great now my pay is getting docked...you know we can't damage shit in the arena, and your jacked up ass just annihilated the door, wait a go.
Tony: Oh fuck you...I just saved you so time, you would have been out here all night smashing your Lil Dick into the door you juiced up retard.
Sabur: Juiced up retard...you muscle bound, shrunken testicle, water head...
Lil Dick: Hey...get your fucking necklace...you have a promo to cut.
Sabur walks into the the room stepping over the splintered wood pieces all over the floor, grabs his necklace places it over his around around his neck. A childlike grin come across his face like they just found their favorite blanky. Sabur happy like a leprechaun walks back out of the wide open locker room.
Tony: You know something....the locker room doesn't look so cramped with that door off, in fact it looks spacious.
Sabur: (looking back) Your right...thanks for pimping my locker room. So hopefully I can do it?
Tony: Do what??
Lil Dick: He's nervous, he's fighting the Hardcore Kid...
Sabur: Yeah....I don't do well against Hardcore wrestlers..Trevor...You...well.....you were a fluke, I was gonna kick your ass, but still.
Tony: Ohhh I was a fluke, you know something...nevermind...You can't be serious...The Hardcore Kid is the furthest thing from hardcore...
Sabur: Really?
Tony: This fucking is like soft core porn on Skinamax, and us Blackwells are like Nasty Porn...triple X, you can't even compare the two
Sabur: Yeah like Max Hardcore porn...
Lil Dick: WHOA....Your a fucking sicko..he's brutal..
Sabur: I didn't say I watch it...I just said...
Tony: Stop!!....first if we are going to win the tag titles...you need to relax, and seriously get over this thing about the Hardcore Kid.
Sabur: Yeah...I was just kidding...this fucking guy...is a fake...I don't even think he is from Las Vegas...he's probably from Reno...the second rate wanna be Las Vegas...
Lil Dick: Hey uhh... Sabur we have a promo to shoot, and your music has been playing for about two minutes already.
Sabur: What....
Sabur then takes off running toward the backstage entrance to the arena. He barrels out of the curtain just as the end of his music hits...running down the ramp, out of breath from sprinting from the other side of the arena. He trips and rolls down the ramp way. Lil Dick runs out as well, he little legs flaring out sideways like tiny midget legs do...fucking great have you ever seen it...it's the best, I was watching Lil People Big World, and these fucking midgets....oh shit I'm roleplaying...sorry... Dick helps Sabur to his feet, the two enter the ring, as Sabur tries to gain his composure. Lil Dick grabs the mic from the timekeeper, as Sabur bends over with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. Sabur grabs the mic, stands upright in the center of the ring looks out to the fans...
Sabur: Whats Up Kansas City...
The fans BOO Sabur for mentioning the wrong city....
Sabur: Whoa...just kidding...I know where I'm at...we are in....Ahh...Well anyways..sorry about being late..I was in the back doing a little training for my intense match later
The fans laugh at Sabur, it's obvious he didn't realize his whole backstage antics where being broad casted on the titantron.
Sabur: yes sir...I'm in for the fight of my life...thats right..It's the Human Wrecking machine, the blood thirsty beast going one on one with the one and only Hardcore Kid. So stepping in the ring with such a skilled technician of the squared circle, and a hardcore legend, one has to be prepared, and every skill polished and on point. So to run over some of my training to prepare for such a grueling match, first I did what we call can curls. I took a beer can curled it till it was emptied out. Second I did toe stretches...you never know when you will need the extreme flexibility in your toes...against a crafty fucker like the THK you have to be ready for anything. Next I did the arm raise...cause ones arms must be conditioned against THK...you had be ready for the ref to raise you hand after the match....thats a tough one though, it requires equal training on each arm, cause those refs are unpredictable, could be you left, could be your right, either way I'm ready. Lastly the most grueling of training, was the working out of the most intricate group of muscles one has in their entire body, the smile for the crowd, it takes a lot of muscles to pull of this tricky move, but against THK or Jason Royce none the less you had better be ready cause surely you will be flexing those muscles after the win. Unless you are female then well....you just job on out.
The fans laugh at "That Teams" loss to THK and Royce
Sabur: Alright needless to say...all silliness aside, tonight Kid you walk into my ring, and last time I checked I don't even have you signed to a lease agreement, that means you trespassing, and wearing that tag team title to the ring, means your are mocking me....I don't like to be mocked in my house, especially by a trespasser.
Sabur holds the mic down for the Lil Man to add his comments.
Lil Dick: That translates into the fact that Sabur thinks he owns the ring, in turn tonight he owns you, meaning he will beat you in the ring. The title reference means you are making fun of him for not winning a title yet in his career, slacker.
Sabur: Hey.....alright Kid....by the way congrats on your winning the titles....it was well fought match, and you did what I couldn't do with a lame dirt bag, shit stain of a partner, but now I have a man that well I don't really see eye to eye with on many topics except on very important topic, the title around your waist. You wearing gold doesn't really live up to fashion standards...ok I'm lying we just think that those belts are sitting out there almost free for the taking as long as you two hold them. Needless to say two powerhouse's are teaming up, two superior athletes, to muscles bound killers, are coming for what you are holding. Listen close Kid...tongiht you get just a sample, just a taste, just a morsel, just a crumb, just a
Lil Dick kicks Sabur in the shin to get him to continue. The Midget has to keep this big man straight at times.
Sabur: Tonight you find out what one half of the beating will feel like when me and Tony come for the gold. That event will be later, this event tonight find me versus you Kid...God help your soul...cause the Hammer is ready to continue this path of destruction. Ryan was dealt with, and so will you. Your skills in the ring fail to measure up, with your partner Jason, you have found success together, but tonight it's just me and you, fending for our selves. You standing up against a giant monster of muscle...filled with all the knowledge, all the in ring capabilities, and the drive to snatch you up, rip you in half. THK you are like a little flower, and tonight I pick you apart petal by petal.
Sabur then holds the mic down for Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: Translation THK your limbs will be removed from your body, one by one.
Sabur: THK...up against me, you have your hands full, talent wise, alone I pose a serious threat to your health. Tonight I'm stopping at nothing to show you, the staff, and the fans that my title hopes are still alive. I proclaim a title shot simply by beating you within an inch of your life...leaving your functional enough only to bring the title to the ring in the defense so I can be crowned...
Lil Dick: And Tony..
Sabur: Yeah well he'll have a title too...but more importantly the Irish Hammer will finally reach his title goals, finally straps a title around my waist...that entire journey, all the hard work, it all pans out tonight...THK tonight I get another step closer to becoming a champion, and you grow one week closer to being dethroned, being ripped away from those great titles you just achieved. Your stay on top of the mountain will be short lived. Tonight....I unleash a ton of fury on you, every missed opportunity, every disappointment gets balled up, and directed your way. It's a simple fact, I'm going to crush your bones into dust, and rip your heart from your chest. I will punish your soul on this evening, all for a bigger goal...So Hardcore Kid step on up...bring your horrible record, your laced up boots, your new title, your lame skills, your big never ending heart that loves to be beaten...cause thats exactly whats for dinner...while pain and disappointment is up for desert, hope you have room.
Sabur drops the mic, only for it to be picked up by Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: What he means is he will technically out wrestle you on this evening, and show his superior skill, and talent over you.
The mic is then dropped again, and the two walk out of the ring, playing to the fans. As they get half way up the ramp....Sabur hoists the Lil Dick into the air standing toward the fans on the right. The fans explode as Sabur looks at them...then he turns with Lil Dick in hand toward the left side as those fans then pop. Sabur thinks the right side was louder so he returns to the fans he then jump up, screaming with their arms in the air. Sabur heaves the Lil Dick out to the crowd who catches him. The fans then begin surfing the Lil Guy around the arena.
Chase: Wow...thats a fan pleaser...he offered his Lil Dick to the fans, and they welcomed that very Dick with open arms.
Harvey: I don't think you can say that on television.
Chase: What??
Harvey: Well basically you just verbalized how a grown man offered his Dick to the fans who pretty much embraced that very mans Dick.
Chase: Wow thats what you interpreted from that whole thing...your a filthy old man.
Harvey: Interpreted...that what your fucking said.
Chase: Now who's being offensive, we had better just go to commercial before we get a FCC fine.
And then well you can guess....NO....we don't go to comercial....we get ripped off the air for the disgusting comments, and sexual reference the two commentators have just made....great what will we do know....
Lil Dick: Did you forget something?
Sabur: Yeah my Irish Hammer necklace...it's my lucky charm...and I need all the luck in the world since I am facing the deadly Hardcore Kid.
Lil Dick looks at Sabur puzzled, then shakes his head. Sabur then looks over toward his midget friend, and grabs him by one shoulder, and one leg
Sabur: Hold still, it's time I jack hammer my Lil Dick into this door...it's sure to open.
Sabur then begins ramming the helmet head of his Lil Dick into the door. From behind it's looks like the Irish Hammer is fucking the door. His lower body thrusting forward, and a loud thud ringing out with each pump. Just then The Extremist walks up, Sabur stops then looks at Tony Blackwell.
Tony: Dude what the fuck are you doing?
Sabur: Trying to battle ram the door open, it's locked, and I need my lucky charm pendant.
Tony takes his arm and shoves the Hammer aside. Wiith a big swift boot placed right under the door knob, he kicks the door open, shattering it to pieces. Sabur looks at him with concern.
Sabur: Fucking great now my pay is getting docked...you know we can't damage shit in the arena, and your jacked up ass just annihilated the door, wait a go.
Tony: Oh fuck you...I just saved you so time, you would have been out here all night smashing your Lil Dick into the door you juiced up retard.
Sabur: Juiced up retard...you muscle bound, shrunken testicle, water head...
Lil Dick: Hey...get your fucking necklace...you have a promo to cut.
Sabur walks into the the room stepping over the splintered wood pieces all over the floor, grabs his necklace places it over his around around his neck. A childlike grin come across his face like they just found their favorite blanky. Sabur happy like a leprechaun walks back out of the wide open locker room.
Tony: You know something....the locker room doesn't look so cramped with that door off, in fact it looks spacious.
Sabur: (looking back) Your right...thanks for pimping my locker room. So hopefully I can do it?
Tony: Do what??
Lil Dick: He's nervous, he's fighting the Hardcore Kid...
Sabur: Yeah....I don't do well against Hardcore wrestlers..Trevor...You...well.....you were a fluke, I was gonna kick your ass, but still.
Tony: Ohhh I was a fluke, you know something...nevermind...You can't be serious...The Hardcore Kid is the furthest thing from hardcore...
Sabur: Really?
Tony: This fucking is like soft core porn on Skinamax, and us Blackwells are like Nasty Porn...triple X, you can't even compare the two
Sabur: Yeah like Max Hardcore porn...
Lil Dick: WHOA....Your a fucking sicko..he's brutal..
Sabur: I didn't say I watch it...I just said...
Tony: Stop!!....first if we are going to win the tag titles...you need to relax, and seriously get over this thing about the Hardcore Kid.
Sabur: Yeah...I was just kidding...this fucking guy...is a fake...I don't even think he is from Las Vegas...he's probably from Reno...the second rate wanna be Las Vegas...
Lil Dick: Hey uhh... Sabur we have a promo to shoot, and your music has been playing for about two minutes already.
Sabur: What....
Sabur then takes off running toward the backstage entrance to the arena. He barrels out of the curtain just as the end of his music hits...running down the ramp, out of breath from sprinting from the other side of the arena. He trips and rolls down the ramp way. Lil Dick runs out as well, he little legs flaring out sideways like tiny midget legs do...fucking great have you ever seen it...it's the best, I was watching Lil People Big World, and these fucking midgets....oh shit I'm roleplaying...sorry... Dick helps Sabur to his feet, the two enter the ring, as Sabur tries to gain his composure. Lil Dick grabs the mic from the timekeeper, as Sabur bends over with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. Sabur grabs the mic, stands upright in the center of the ring looks out to the fans...
Sabur: Whats Up Kansas City...
The fans BOO Sabur for mentioning the wrong city....
Sabur: Whoa...just kidding...I know where I'm at...we are in....Ahh...Well anyways..sorry about being late..I was in the back doing a little training for my intense match later
The fans laugh at Sabur, it's obvious he didn't realize his whole backstage antics where being broad casted on the titantron.
Sabur: yes sir...I'm in for the fight of my life...thats right..It's the Human Wrecking machine, the blood thirsty beast going one on one with the one and only Hardcore Kid. So stepping in the ring with such a skilled technician of the squared circle, and a hardcore legend, one has to be prepared, and every skill polished and on point. So to run over some of my training to prepare for such a grueling match, first I did what we call can curls. I took a beer can curled it till it was emptied out. Second I did toe stretches...you never know when you will need the extreme flexibility in your toes...against a crafty fucker like the THK you have to be ready for anything. Next I did the arm raise...cause ones arms must be conditioned against THK...you had be ready for the ref to raise you hand after the match....thats a tough one though, it requires equal training on each arm, cause those refs are unpredictable, could be you left, could be your right, either way I'm ready. Lastly the most grueling of training, was the working out of the most intricate group of muscles one has in their entire body, the smile for the crowd, it takes a lot of muscles to pull of this tricky move, but against THK or Jason Royce none the less you had better be ready cause surely you will be flexing those muscles after the win. Unless you are female then well....you just job on out.
The fans laugh at "That Teams" loss to THK and Royce
Sabur: Alright needless to say...all silliness aside, tonight Kid you walk into my ring, and last time I checked I don't even have you signed to a lease agreement, that means you trespassing, and wearing that tag team title to the ring, means your are mocking me....I don't like to be mocked in my house, especially by a trespasser.
Sabur holds the mic down for the Lil Man to add his comments.
Lil Dick: That translates into the fact that Sabur thinks he owns the ring, in turn tonight he owns you, meaning he will beat you in the ring. The title reference means you are making fun of him for not winning a title yet in his career, slacker.
Sabur: Hey.....alright Kid....by the way congrats on your winning the titles....it was well fought match, and you did what I couldn't do with a lame dirt bag, shit stain of a partner, but now I have a man that well I don't really see eye to eye with on many topics except on very important topic, the title around your waist. You wearing gold doesn't really live up to fashion standards...ok I'm lying we just think that those belts are sitting out there almost free for the taking as long as you two hold them. Needless to say two powerhouse's are teaming up, two superior athletes, to muscles bound killers, are coming for what you are holding. Listen close Kid...tongiht you get just a sample, just a taste, just a morsel, just a crumb, just a
Lil Dick kicks Sabur in the shin to get him to continue. The Midget has to keep this big man straight at times.
Sabur: Tonight you find out what one half of the beating will feel like when me and Tony come for the gold. That event will be later, this event tonight find me versus you Kid...God help your soul...cause the Hammer is ready to continue this path of destruction. Ryan was dealt with, and so will you. Your skills in the ring fail to measure up, with your partner Jason, you have found success together, but tonight it's just me and you, fending for our selves. You standing up against a giant monster of muscle...filled with all the knowledge, all the in ring capabilities, and the drive to snatch you up, rip you in half. THK you are like a little flower, and tonight I pick you apart petal by petal.
Sabur then holds the mic down for Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: Translation THK your limbs will be removed from your body, one by one.
Sabur: THK...up against me, you have your hands full, talent wise, alone I pose a serious threat to your health. Tonight I'm stopping at nothing to show you, the staff, and the fans that my title hopes are still alive. I proclaim a title shot simply by beating you within an inch of your life...leaving your functional enough only to bring the title to the ring in the defense so I can be crowned...
Lil Dick: And Tony..
Sabur: Yeah well he'll have a title too...but more importantly the Irish Hammer will finally reach his title goals, finally straps a title around my waist...that entire journey, all the hard work, it all pans out tonight...THK tonight I get another step closer to becoming a champion, and you grow one week closer to being dethroned, being ripped away from those great titles you just achieved. Your stay on top of the mountain will be short lived. Tonight....I unleash a ton of fury on you, every missed opportunity, every disappointment gets balled up, and directed your way. It's a simple fact, I'm going to crush your bones into dust, and rip your heart from your chest. I will punish your soul on this evening, all for a bigger goal...So Hardcore Kid step on up...bring your horrible record, your laced up boots, your new title, your lame skills, your big never ending heart that loves to be beaten...cause thats exactly whats for dinner...while pain and disappointment is up for desert, hope you have room.
Sabur drops the mic, only for it to be picked up by Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: What he means is he will technically out wrestle you on this evening, and show his superior skill, and talent over you.
The mic is then dropped again, and the two walk out of the ring, playing to the fans. As they get half way up the ramp....Sabur hoists the Lil Dick into the air standing toward the fans on the right. The fans explode as Sabur looks at them...then he turns with Lil Dick in hand toward the left side as those fans then pop. Sabur thinks the right side was louder so he returns to the fans he then jump up, screaming with their arms in the air. Sabur heaves the Lil Dick out to the crowd who catches him. The fans then begin surfing the Lil Guy around the arena.
Chase: Wow...thats a fan pleaser...he offered his Lil Dick to the fans, and they welcomed that very Dick with open arms.
Harvey: I don't think you can say that on television.
Chase: What??
Harvey: Well basically you just verbalized how a grown man offered his Dick to the fans who pretty much embraced that very mans Dick.
Chase: Wow thats what you interpreted from that whole thing...your a filthy old man.
Harvey: Interpreted...that what your fucking said.
Chase: Now who's being offensive, we had better just go to commercial before we get a FCC fine.
And then well you can guess....NO....we don't go to comercial....we get ripped off the air for the disgusting comments, and sexual reference the two commentators have just made....great what will we do know....
