Post by Phate on May 8, 2008 22:43:22 GMT -4
Our scene opens in the confining spaces of a decorated hallway of the Hilton Hotel adjacent to the venue holding the May 12, 2008 APW Overdrive event, the RBC Center in Raleigh, North Carolina. Our gaze travels along the walls, reveling in a trip down memory lane of past sport accomplishments in the great state of North Carolina as well as a few choice pieces of contemporary art. The viewer is awakened from their reverie by the face of an angel…or, more appropriately, Cindy Shannon, Action Packed Wrestling’s resident female interviewer. Cindy dutifully makes her way down the hall with quite the distressed expression permeating her face. Her hair pulled back in a ponytail, Cindy seems very troubled as her loose-fitting Action Packed Wrestling sweatshirt engulfs her petite frame. Complimented by a pair of tight denim jeans, Shannon looks rather dressed down and comfortable yet still highly stressed. Shannon, a microphone, and a lone cameraman reach their destination: Room G21. She [Cindy Shannon] stands for a moment, staring at the golden Times New Roman-style lettering centered neatly on the door before exhaling slowly and rapping lightly on the door. Shannon has to knock once more before the door slowly opens, showing us the reason for the trepidation being displayed by Cindy: none other than the man who insulted her femininity mere days earlier, “The Icon” Doctor Phate. Phate, decked out in a velveteen robe with a jade ascot tucked neatly into the nape of his neck and coordinating lounge pants and slippers, sees who is at his door…and closes it right in her face! Highly annoyed, not to mention peeved that she was even sent to the Hilton to speak with the prick on that just slammed a beautifully crafted oak door in her face, Cindy begins banging and kicking at the door’s surface like a madwoman! About a minute passes, Shannon assaulting the door like a fellow prisoner in a Women’s Detention Center, before Phate finally opens the door once again, his eyes the size of quarters and his face etched with other annoyance!
Phate (agitated tone; addressing Cindy): What in th’ blue HELL is yer problem, lady?!?! Do you have any idea what time it is, y’damn harpy?!?
Cindy (agitated voice; screaming at Phate): What in the blue hell is YOUR problem?!?! It’s only 2:30 in the afternoon!
Phate (eyebrows arched in surprise; slightly amused tone): …..Really? Wow. I guess time does fly….
Before anyone in attendance can say anything else three young women emerge from the confines of Phate’s room and walk out into the hall! Each woman’s outfit is skimpier and less concealing than the last, prompting both Phate and the cameraman to gawk in awe! The women leave nothing to the imagination, their heaving bosoms barely staying put in their extremely form-fitting skirts as their plump derrieres sit defiantly upward thanks to stiletto heels. The girls make their exit down the hall….but not before the last girl removes a large wad of bills from her purse and stuffs them in the breast pocket of Phate’s robe while leaving a wet peck on his cheek! Phate grins cockily, nodding his head as he admires the tantalizing trio’s rear ends sashay into the distance.
Phate (addressing Cindy while looking at the departing girls): ….when you are HAVIN’ FUN. Woooo...damn….I shoulda put her legs up on th’ headboard and went t’town on her….(realizing Cindy is there; blushing; gathering himself and speaking to Cindy) Uhm, err...what can I do for you guys?
Cindy (disgusted; addressing Phate): Look, Jeff sent me here to get your thoughts on what your opponent this Monday, Bryan J. Greatness, had to say about you. That’s all I’m here for. Now, if you would be so kind, answer the damned question so I can go.
Phate (caught off-guard; addressing Cindy; trepidation in voice): Oh-kaaaaaaay. (looking at the cameraman) Yo, poncho – is her friend in town fer a visit or somethin’?
Cindy (addressing the cameraman while staring angrily at Phate; evil tone of voice): If you answer that I will HURT YOU. A LOT.
Phate and the cameraman make eye contact...and the camera begins to nod in response to Phate's inquiry! Before Cindy can catch on the camera quits nodding. Annoyed, Cindy gives the cameraman a very evil stare before continuing onward.
Cindy (addressing Phate; calmer tone): Now, what do you have to say about your Action Packed Wrestling debut and what your opponent, Bryan J. Greatness, had to say about you?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy): Oh, nothing.
Cindy (annoyed; quizzical tone; addressing Phate): Nothing?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy): Nothing.
Cindy (growing increasingly annoyed; addressing Phate): NOTHING?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy while winking at her): Nothing. You look really nice, by th’ way….vast improvement ov’r the last time we talked.
Cindy (growing increasingly annoyed; addressing Phate): NOTHING?!?!
Phate (smug expression; quizzical tone; addressing Cindy): Uhm, nothing?
Cindy (angrily; addressing Phate): A man insults the spelling of your name and practically says that he thinks you’re not even gonna show up and you say nothing. I wear a skirt and a top in front of you and say nothing about you and you say something? What kinda - - (pausing; blushing; addressing Phate) Y-You think I look good like this?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy while winking at her): Yeee-Ep.
Cindy (blushing; speaking to Phate flirtatiously): Really?
Phate (smiling; nodding in agreement): Yeppers peppers.
Cindy (taken aback; openly flirting with Phate): REALLY?
Phate (smiling; nodding; addressing Cindy): Yeppity yep-yep.
Cindy (taken aback; openly flirting with Phate): REALL- -
Phate (annoyed tone; addressing Cindy): No, y’crazy broad! Y’look homely! Do you even KNOW what balance is? Yer supposed t’find a common balance between slutty and homely! Geez, woman! Do I need t’call Queer Eye to help you out?
Cindy (angry tone; aggravated; addressing Phate): You – you big- AARGGH! Why would you even SAY it if you don’t mean it, you jerk?!?!
Phate (addressing Cindy; amused tone): It’s called “saying what people want to hear”. Fer example, Bryan J. Greatness said what ev’rybody else has been wantin’ to hear. He made fun of th’ spelling of my name – an’ you know people have been wantin’ to do that ever since I joined Action Packed Wrestling so they were prob’ly gald to hear it. He even got his fans, all one dozen of ‘em, all amped and ready…to see him get his ass kicked! (addressing the camera and Bryan Greatness) Looka here, Stay Puff - - you complainin’ about not havin’ anyone worth your time t’fight? How do you think I feel, fat boy? Yer not even worth th’ tub of lard it takes t’slide you into your clothes every morning! I probably need t’call Justin Job an’ find out how he tossed yer chunky butt otuta the ring last week! He prob’ly needed HGH, a forklift, and a stick with a rope wit’ a Twinkie tied to th’ end to even lure you over th’ ropes! It’s like this, boy - you aren’t even at th’ bottom of the bottom of the bottom rung of th’ ladder to success! Monday I break yer face, I break yer, legs, I break yer spirit, and – WOOOO! – you break the scale! This Monday on Overdrive I take my first step toward th’ TOP of APW – an’ you take yer first step toward a leaner, better you because after I break yer leg wit’ the Figure Four you’ll be hospitalized so you might as well get Gastric Bypass surgery while yer there, tubby! WOOOOO! Monday we separate the men from the men who eat boys – an’ we show the whole wrestling world that YOU are nothin’ more than a glorified preliminary wrestler! And while Legends die and Wrestlers come and go ICONS LIVE FOREVER! Prepare to count th’ lights – and not the ones on th’ ceiling at yer local buffet! WOOOO! (Addressing Cindy) Peace out, home skillet! Oh, and you actually DO look pretty good in that outfit.
Cindy (taken aback; openly flirting with Phate): Uhm, really?
Phate (grinning sheepishly; addressing Cindy): NO!
Our scene ends with Phate slamming the door in Cindy Shannon’s face once again, automatically sending our scene to black.
Phate (agitated tone; addressing Cindy): What in th’ blue HELL is yer problem, lady?!?! Do you have any idea what time it is, y’damn harpy?!?
Cindy (agitated voice; screaming at Phate): What in the blue hell is YOUR problem?!?! It’s only 2:30 in the afternoon!
Phate (eyebrows arched in surprise; slightly amused tone): …..Really? Wow. I guess time does fly….
Before anyone in attendance can say anything else three young women emerge from the confines of Phate’s room and walk out into the hall! Each woman’s outfit is skimpier and less concealing than the last, prompting both Phate and the cameraman to gawk in awe! The women leave nothing to the imagination, their heaving bosoms barely staying put in their extremely form-fitting skirts as their plump derrieres sit defiantly upward thanks to stiletto heels. The girls make their exit down the hall….but not before the last girl removes a large wad of bills from her purse and stuffs them in the breast pocket of Phate’s robe while leaving a wet peck on his cheek! Phate grins cockily, nodding his head as he admires the tantalizing trio’s rear ends sashay into the distance.
Phate (addressing Cindy while looking at the departing girls): ….when you are HAVIN’ FUN. Woooo...damn….I shoulda put her legs up on th’ headboard and went t’town on her….(realizing Cindy is there; blushing; gathering himself and speaking to Cindy) Uhm, err...what can I do for you guys?
Cindy (disgusted; addressing Phate): Look, Jeff sent me here to get your thoughts on what your opponent this Monday, Bryan J. Greatness, had to say about you. That’s all I’m here for. Now, if you would be so kind, answer the damned question so I can go.
Phate (caught off-guard; addressing Cindy; trepidation in voice): Oh-kaaaaaaay. (looking at the cameraman) Yo, poncho – is her friend in town fer a visit or somethin’?
Cindy (addressing the cameraman while staring angrily at Phate; evil tone of voice): If you answer that I will HURT YOU. A LOT.
Phate and the cameraman make eye contact...and the camera begins to nod in response to Phate's inquiry! Before Cindy can catch on the camera quits nodding. Annoyed, Cindy gives the cameraman a very evil stare before continuing onward.
Cindy (addressing Phate; calmer tone): Now, what do you have to say about your Action Packed Wrestling debut and what your opponent, Bryan J. Greatness, had to say about you?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy): Oh, nothing.
Cindy (annoyed; quizzical tone; addressing Phate): Nothing?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy): Nothing.
Cindy (growing increasingly annoyed; addressing Phate): NOTHING?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy while winking at her): Nothing. You look really nice, by th’ way….vast improvement ov’r the last time we talked.
Cindy (growing increasingly annoyed; addressing Phate): NOTHING?!?!
Phate (smug expression; quizzical tone; addressing Cindy): Uhm, nothing?
Cindy (angrily; addressing Phate): A man insults the spelling of your name and practically says that he thinks you’re not even gonna show up and you say nothing. I wear a skirt and a top in front of you and say nothing about you and you say something? What kinda - - (pausing; blushing; addressing Phate) Y-You think I look good like this?
Phate (smug expression; relaxed tone; addressing Cindy while winking at her): Yeee-Ep.
Cindy (blushing; speaking to Phate flirtatiously): Really?
Phate (smiling; nodding in agreement): Yeppers peppers.
Cindy (taken aback; openly flirting with Phate): REALLY?
Phate (smiling; nodding; addressing Cindy): Yeppity yep-yep.
Cindy (taken aback; openly flirting with Phate): REALL- -
Phate (annoyed tone; addressing Cindy): No, y’crazy broad! Y’look homely! Do you even KNOW what balance is? Yer supposed t’find a common balance between slutty and homely! Geez, woman! Do I need t’call Queer Eye to help you out?
Cindy (angry tone; aggravated; addressing Phate): You – you big- AARGGH! Why would you even SAY it if you don’t mean it, you jerk?!?!
Phate (addressing Cindy; amused tone): It’s called “saying what people want to hear”. Fer example, Bryan J. Greatness said what ev’rybody else has been wantin’ to hear. He made fun of th’ spelling of my name – an’ you know people have been wantin’ to do that ever since I joined Action Packed Wrestling so they were prob’ly gald to hear it. He even got his fans, all one dozen of ‘em, all amped and ready…to see him get his ass kicked! (addressing the camera and Bryan Greatness) Looka here, Stay Puff - - you complainin’ about not havin’ anyone worth your time t’fight? How do you think I feel, fat boy? Yer not even worth th’ tub of lard it takes t’slide you into your clothes every morning! I probably need t’call Justin Job an’ find out how he tossed yer chunky butt otuta the ring last week! He prob’ly needed HGH, a forklift, and a stick with a rope wit’ a Twinkie tied to th’ end to even lure you over th’ ropes! It’s like this, boy - you aren’t even at th’ bottom of the bottom of the bottom rung of th’ ladder to success! Monday I break yer face, I break yer, legs, I break yer spirit, and – WOOOO! – you break the scale! This Monday on Overdrive I take my first step toward th’ TOP of APW – an’ you take yer first step toward a leaner, better you because after I break yer leg wit’ the Figure Four you’ll be hospitalized so you might as well get Gastric Bypass surgery while yer there, tubby! WOOOOO! Monday we separate the men from the men who eat boys – an’ we show the whole wrestling world that YOU are nothin’ more than a glorified preliminary wrestler! And while Legends die and Wrestlers come and go ICONS LIVE FOREVER! Prepare to count th’ lights – and not the ones on th’ ceiling at yer local buffet! WOOOO! (Addressing Cindy) Peace out, home skillet! Oh, and you actually DO look pretty good in that outfit.
Cindy (taken aback; openly flirting with Phate): Uhm, really?
Phate (grinning sheepishly; addressing Cindy): NO!
Our scene ends with Phate slamming the door in Cindy Shannon’s face once again, automatically sending our scene to black.
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