Post by Your JESUS on May 14, 2008 12:15:42 GMT -4
Sabur arrives at the arena, walking next his Lil Dick, they open the door and enter the backstage area.
Sabur: Have you seen the tail the company is bringing in here?
Lil Dick: Yes I have.
Sabur: This Arcadia, whoo-wee, like to see what doing underneath that mask.
Lil Dick: Yeah thats real hot all mysterious, and then we got this new Asian, I love Nips.
Sabur: WHOA!! You can't say that, thats racilalism.
LiL Dick: Uh I think you mean racist, not racialism, any why is that racist.
Sabur: I' not really sure but you can't call an Asian a NIP, no more then an African American a NI.....
Lil Dick: (Interrupting) Easy...., I called her Nips because I love Asian nipples all long and perky.....
Sabur: Thats creepy, anyway there is a fine selection of tail here and no one gets more ass then my Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: (Smiling) Well you know.
Sabur: But you you might have some competition soon.
Lil Dick: What, who can pull in the ho's like a Lil Dick?
Sabur: This guy Matt Metal, and from what I here he can walk in a room and panties drop, it has even been rumored that when he's around a women, they get so turned on by him that their clits begin to click rapidly like a matting call.
Lil Dick: WHAT!
Sabur: You better watch out they said Nu-Metal is on the Block.
Lil Dick: What the hell was that?
Sabur: A catch phrase he says, I think I need a catch phrase.
Lil Dick: Never happy, are you.
Sabur: You know this tag team thing announced makes me happy.
Lil Dick: Yeah, maybe we could tag up one day.
Sabur: Dude, we can't have you wrestle.
Lil Dick: And why would that be? (Very irritated)
Sabur: For a number of reasons, there has to be some health standard or at least a decency law against a mans Lil Dick wrestling with others, and for the second reason, you got worked over by Skylar.
Lil Dick: Thats bullshit. (Crossing his arms like a child)
Sabur: Ahhh little buddy, I'm sorry, anyway I can't think about that right now, At this moment we have the ongoing drama with the Church, I'm still pissed at Lively But tag team gold, yeah thats happiness, and I just talked to a friend of mine and I think he loves gold.
LiL Dick: Who's that?
Sabur: Hey Yo Chico, it's the Bad Guy!
Lil Dick: Hunh?
Sabur: Razor Ryan dude, anyway I'm so siked about possibly being a tag team with Ryan, tag team wrestling was huge when I was a kid, it had sort of fallen off as of late but the APW has their finger on the pulse of wrestling fans, and well I have a feeling tag teams are back my pink little fellow.
Lil Dick: And I'm sure as usual you have spent your money frivolously and have some old school type of gimmick that reminds you of your childhood.
Sabur: And there is a problem with that.
Lil Dick: No, not at all, in fact I think the merchants of the world most love the fact that you spend your money without care. In a declining economy, the rising cost of fuel, and the dwindling value of the American dollar, I think you spending your money needlessly is great for the economy.
Sabur: What is an economy?
Lil Dick: Never mind.
The two continue on and enter the locker room. Sabur smiles as his package is sitting there waiting to be opened by the Irish Hammer. Sabur pulls out a Smith and Wesson Viper knife, slices the tape on the box when Lil Dick catches a glimpse of the knife.
Lil Dick: HEY, is that a Smith and Wesson?
Sabur: Yes, a bunch of swag for Dianna from Smith and Wesson showed up at Sabotage, and I took the liberty that Dianna wouldn't need thirty eight knives, so I swiped one figured she wouldn't miss it.
Sabur then pulls the first item out of the huge box as packing peanuts spill out on the locker room floor.
Sabur: Ohh shit.
Sabur then pulls out a pair of amateur wrestling ear guards, followed by a bunch of neon colored tye dyed wrestling tights.
Sabur: Check it out I could go with the Steiner Brother theme and Dog face gremlin it right up, or I could take it back and become a new Rocker.
Lil Dick then reaches in and pulls out a leather mask studded with rivets.
Lil Dick: What is this from, a tag team gay porn.
Sabur: No way, that is a mask from one of the greatest tag teams in history the Demolition, man they were great "Here comes the Ax'er here comes the Smash'er, Demolition" man that was the best.
Lil Dick: Oh shit I know what these are.
He the muscles out a large pair of shoulder pads with spikes. The midget sets the heavy equipment on the ground as in walks Razor Ryan.
Razor: What up.....whoa more shit hunh, is it He-man this time, you know if Trevor walks in he's going to be pissed.
Sabur: No way, this is old tag team memorabilia, and I think even Trevor could appreciate this.
Razor: Check it out Legion of Doom shoulder pads fucking cool.
Razor puts the shoulder pads on.
Razor: They were the best tag team ever.
Sabur: No way Demolition was. (as he puts the Dominatrix type mask on)
Razor: Dude, Demolition was invented as a rib on the Road Warriors, so your favorite team was just a gimmicked joke.
Lil Dick: That explains a lot.
Sabur: Listen what started out as a gimmick spawned into a legendary tag team, which brought home the gold.
Razor: Not as many times as the L.O.D
Sabur: DEMOLITION!
Razor: L.O.D.!
Sabur: DEMOLITION!.
Razor: L.O.......
The door opens and in walks Tony and Trevor. Tony begins to chuckle as he sees Razor wearing a pair of L.O.D. shoulder pads and Sabur's face covered with a leather mask studded with metal rivets. Sabur and Razor look over toward the Blackwell brothers as Fyre Angel then walks into the room bursting into laughter herself.
Fyre Angel: Ok, so Razor is from L.O.D. but Sabur what the fuck are you representing.
Sabur: Demolition, man nobody's respects the greatness that is Ax and Smash.
Tony: Don't forget about Crush (chuckling)
The group looks at Trevor as if waiting for a response from him on a verdict, whether Sabur's silliness was going to earn him another forehead crack from the trusty cane of Trevor's (and if one were smart investing in the stock of Singapore cane may be a wise investment, seeing the constant need for Trevor replacing them during the training period). Trevor glance into the box, and pulls out a pair of pink Hit man glasses, he puts them on his face, and looks back at the group.
Trevor: Fuck the L.O.D., and Demolition can suck a dick, but not you lil fellow (looking at the Littlest of Dicks), the greatest tag team ever just happens to be Hart Foundation, which led to one of the greatest to enter the ring Bret Hart.
Sabur: (smacking Razor on the shoulder pad) Ouch, see I told you he could appreciate it.
Trevor then whacks Sabur in the mask, and then kicking the box over. Sabur grabs the mask off of his head and the demeanor of his face has totally changed, By this point Sabur being cracked in the head with a cane has become like a command give a dog, or a whistle of sorts. Sabur's face had become very serious with an intensity in his eyes. Razor quickly pulls the shoulder pads off and set them on the ground. Trevor then looks around at Sex and Violence still wearing the Hit man glasses. The Career Killer Trevor Blackwell then grabs The Genetic Powerhouse by his chiseled jaw and locks eyes with him... their foreheads touching... his ice blues mirroring the intensity in his new progeny.
Trevor: That's right! Fucking focus, Sabur! All of this shit is from the past... great in their own time but still the past... YOU are the fucking Future... You and Razor are going to be the greatest Tag Team Champions this industry has ever seen... But this Monday isn't about gold and glory... Its about wiping the SHIT STAIN of Bryan J. Greatness off the face of Action Packed Wrestling. I promised Diana that the hellacious beating that I gave that fat fuck the last time he tried to fuck with my family would be all that I gave him... But you will snap the fat motherfucker in half... You will spread his belly jelly all over the fucking ring and show him what a House of Pain really is... YOU are the true GREATNESS in this industry... Sex and Violence: Version X has earned that name... Bryan is just a poor fuck who's parents gave him a name that he will NEVER live up to... And you need to drive that point home this Monday!!!
He pie faces Sabur onto the couch at The Genetic Powerhouse explodes back to his feet, leveling his mentor with a Clothesline that came from the very bowels of his soul... Trevor is immediately back on his feet, riding a righteous wave of adrenaline despite the pain in his throat. He cinches up a shocked Man-Cow and hurls him head and shoulder first into the wall above the couch with a beautiful Release Belly-to-Belly Suplex that has Sabur slumping down awkwardly upside down on the couch. Trevor lowers the Hit man shades over his eyes.
Trevor: Fuck Greatness... Bring all of that intensity and more to the ring with you on Monday... and show Bryan that we don't want him any more then his parents did...
Overdrive then goes to a commercial, and as they return prior to going back to the arena live, a vignette plays.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=
As soon as the video finishes, the scene then reappears to the crowded arena. The lights go out, as the crowd pops from the change knowing that something is about to happen....They wait for it......wait......and then........"MOOOOOOO!!" rings out and the fans jump from their overpriced seats (lets face it we pack the arena why not jack up the prices).
The lights dim, the music hits. Orange lights flash to the beat of the music, as a shower of red sparks stream down like a water fall. The music picks up, and two large explosions on both sides of the entrance ignite as Sabur strolls through the shower of sparks. Sabur walks out so smoothly with his arms out sideways like a retro Scott Hall, he the stops midway down the ramp looks around as if absorbing the love from the crowd, and then walks up to the stairs and enters the ring. Sabur grabs the mic and spits.
Sabur: What up NorthCharelston (cheap pop from the crowd, cause by now you should know I always go with the cheap heat)
Sabur pause for the crowd response
Sabur: So I was backstage living it up like a real lavish son of a bitch,(obviously not knowing his hyjenks backstage were televised) when in walks Trevor. So Trevor says to me, he says "You know Man Cow" cause that is what he calls me, so he says "You know you and the Bad Guy bringing us home the tag team gold will be impressive, but you have a match later." So I say "Really, Jeff put one of the sexiest members of the APW roster (crowd chuckles) in a match" So then I says to Trevor, I say "So My lord of Hardcore, my master, who is it that they dare set in front of a mad cow" and he replies " Well you are going one on one with the Greatness" and then at that very moment the entire locker room burst into laughter. Once we regain our composure I say " Wow Jeff must really be pissed at this Greatness", so I figured I would come out here in the presence of N.C. South Carolina (cheap pop again, cause it's priceless), and go ahead and cut us a modern day promo against this guy.
Sabur lowers his hand holding the mic he changes positions, looks into a different camera and continues
Sabur: So fresh off of my victory over the so called JESUS, we go right into another booking, and Jeff looks down the roster, as he does I'm sure he thinks to himself....and he says " Wow Kenny's Cok is bigger then mine" and then he might say to himself "How does a super nasty like dirty Dianna take that whole CoK" and then as the Hurra-Grand-Master dreams about his sexual exploitations with Kenny he then gets back to business. "Time to make a match, lets see oh here one talented piece of meat, the man-cow Sabur" .....................
Sabur pauses turning an ear toward the crowd receiving their cheer from the mention of his name, and then holds the mic back up and returns to his story.
Sabur: So then the Hurra-McMahon Jr. then says to himself " This Sabur is one hell of a worker, his larger muscular body looks as if it were chiseled from stone, and his talent is overflowing, who can we throw to this Genetic Human Destroyer" and then Jeff decides to throw me in the ring with the "Chins" (the crowd begins laughing at the fact Sabur just called the Greatness, Chins). So the stage is set, and you are fresh off of a hell of a streak.....Wait....thats right you are winless here. So let me recall your first match you almost forgot to show up for because you large ass was busy at the Hotel Buffet grazing the desert bar.
Sabur then drops the mic turning the ear to receive the laughter once more, and then returns to the assault.
Sabur: So Chins, then your second go round, was a close one, but you were outclassed and the Phate. So now fast forward to today, and the stage is set, and a chance for you to really try and jump off with a push. Sorry to inform you, but I will not be your stepping stone, and you my chubby friend will fall down like a fat kid in a diabetic coma....sorry that probably hits to close to home. So ok, you are the Greatness, last time I checked having a double stack of chins and some dopey hat doesn't make you great, but hey who am I to judge. You may very well be great, but what is apparent to all is that you are 6'3" 300 pounder, and I'm trailing right behind you. The difference between you and me is I'm a rock solid mass of muscle, and you are a loose Abdulah the Butcher type. So when the bell rings, and you attempt to flex your bicep,You stop reach down grab a chunk of the under arm flap thats a swinging in the breeze, pull it up to your mouth to give it a kiss, then I will truly recognize that I have just stepped in the ring with a physical specimen. We will lock up, and faster then you won the hot dog eating championship, I'll hoist your tubby ass on these massive shoulders, and whip you around fro the House of Pain. Shortly after the ring settles, and I regain composure from the tremor, I'll hook the leg, and send you on your way back to the locker room with yet another loss, but you won't be empty handed. No sir Chins, I will have a bag of Whoppers hand delivered to you courtesy of the King himself. So mark it down in your calendar, and chronicle it in your Greatness archives March 19, 2008 the Greatness will have achieved the highest level of success, the Irish Hammer just beat that ass, and the King of Burgers hand delivered you a bundle of Greatness for you to scarf down, so that the next time we see you in the ring, it may be the Greatness of 2009, pushing close to 400 lbs.
Sabur then turns to switch cameras again, and well....
Sabur: So in closing you can be great in your own mind, hell even in a couple of the boy's in the backs mind, but you aren't fooling me. So Ham-burglar waddle your ass to the ring, cause Grimace is going to kick your ass tonight. Greatness.......more like flame-broiled.
The Arena erupts into a chorus of boos as Comfort Eagle by Cake starts to play, echoing threw the Arena. More pyro then humanly possible flashes from around the stage, and as the blinding light subsides, and what a waist if you ask me, possibly why the increase in ticket prices as of late, the budget team is needlessly throwing money away on pyro for a slobby bitch like this, any way I digress. Out waddles Lil Dick dressed in a Jr. Whopper hamburger suit. The fans explode in laughter. Slowly, he struts down to the ring, grinning at the fans cursing and jeering him down the ramp. As he reaches the bottom, raising his arms to the sky, giving a pose as sparks shower down upon the ring from the roof.
Sabur: Ladies and Gentlemen he's here, the Greatness has arrived.
Sabur drops to his knees and begins to bow down to the mini-Greatness. Lil Dick climbs the stairs, walks along the apron lifts a leg to enter the ring, but the bun and burger shape of the suit hit the ropes and Lil Dick falls to the mat outside the ring.
Sabur: Ohh shit Hamburglar down......
Sabur jumps out of the ring walking over to a downed Lil Dick who's feet are flailing as he is posted up sideways crinkling his lettuce.
Sabur: There it is folks the Greatness had trouble entering the ring due to his unique roundness, and juicy flavor.
Sabur then hoists his midget in a burger suit into the air and then throws him over the top rope into the ring. Sabur then slide a mic over to the Lil Dick Greatness impersonator. Sabur then slide into the ring and stands up to the fake Greatness.
Greatness/Lil Dick: You know the Greatness has had enough of you out here running your mouth about the Greatness, cause the Greatness is the Greatness...
Sabur: I'm sorry what did you say your name was?
Greatness/Lil Dick: I said I am the Greatn.......
Sabur: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS.
The fans erupt once more with cheers and laughter. Hell even the production crew begins to chuckles as a camera quickly cuts to the crew in the video truck laughing right along with the Irish Hammer. The fans then Moooo in appreciation for their man cow. The mini-Greatness begins pacing back and forth.
Sabur: Easy their my medium rare lil friend, me and you have a match later, and I don't want your big ass to get winded before the match. OK, Chins it's me and it's you, I have said my piece I going to let you get a word in, so here you go kid, let'er rip.
Greatness/Lil Dick: Well you can't imagine how hard it is walking around this size, trying to buy clothes, find a descent wrestling outfit, and then I must walk out here to here your disrespect. I mean I get enough mental abuse when the cashier at the local Wal Mart rings up my size 4X shirts, but this insult, the Greatness can not forget. You think you are all cool out here cause you roll with a hot, sexy, rugged midget......
The mini Greatness stops to hear the roar from the crowd for their love of the Lil Dick. A smile can be seen in between the beef patty and leafs of lettuce as Lil Dicks face protrudes out the burger outfit.
Sabur: Your right the world loves my Lil Dick, and I haven't given you any respect, so here we go let me honor you Greatness. Late night after romping the sheets with some whore from a random city, I finish off, and leave the woman laying there all reamed out, I jump off the bed and think to myself, I could really go for some flame-broiled Greatness, and then it's you that I think of, none other then the Ham-burglar.
The fans chuckles once more.
Sabur: Anyway, big boy, we have ourselves a match, and my Lil Dick looks hot in the disgusting burger suit so I'll finish up. Come to the ring if you dare, leave the ring if I let you. The Hammer has come to do work, and you my fat friend are unfortunately are the next victim. Last week it was Michael Lively that stepped into the House, and this week Chins I hear your knocking on the door, so welcome to the house of pain, Prep the pyro, cue his music, and stuff your bitch tits into a sports bra so we can do this thing.
Sabur drops the mic, and slides under the bottom rope. Lil Dick tries to follow but gets held up by the ropes. Lil Dick then runs across the ring hits the opposite ropes catching momentum, and then leaps outward sliding between the top and middle rope. Sabur catches the flame-broiled beef patty that is at the moment his Lil Dick. The two make their way out of the arena.
Sabur: Have you seen the tail the company is bringing in here?
Lil Dick: Yes I have.
Sabur: This Arcadia, whoo-wee, like to see what doing underneath that mask.
Lil Dick: Yeah thats real hot all mysterious, and then we got this new Asian, I love Nips.
Sabur: WHOA!! You can't say that, thats racilalism.
LiL Dick: Uh I think you mean racist, not racialism, any why is that racist.
Sabur: I' not really sure but you can't call an Asian a NIP, no more then an African American a NI.....
Lil Dick: (Interrupting) Easy...., I called her Nips because I love Asian nipples all long and perky.....
Sabur: Thats creepy, anyway there is a fine selection of tail here and no one gets more ass then my Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: (Smiling) Well you know.
Sabur: But you you might have some competition soon.
Lil Dick: What, who can pull in the ho's like a Lil Dick?
Sabur: This guy Matt Metal, and from what I here he can walk in a room and panties drop, it has even been rumored that when he's around a women, they get so turned on by him that their clits begin to click rapidly like a matting call.
Lil Dick: WHAT!
Sabur: You better watch out they said Nu-Metal is on the Block.
Lil Dick: What the hell was that?
Sabur: A catch phrase he says, I think I need a catch phrase.
Lil Dick: Never happy, are you.
Sabur: You know this tag team thing announced makes me happy.
Lil Dick: Yeah, maybe we could tag up one day.
Sabur: Dude, we can't have you wrestle.
Lil Dick: And why would that be? (Very irritated)
Sabur: For a number of reasons, there has to be some health standard or at least a decency law against a mans Lil Dick wrestling with others, and for the second reason, you got worked over by Skylar.
Lil Dick: Thats bullshit. (Crossing his arms like a child)
Sabur: Ahhh little buddy, I'm sorry, anyway I can't think about that right now, At this moment we have the ongoing drama with the Church, I'm still pissed at Lively But tag team gold, yeah thats happiness, and I just talked to a friend of mine and I think he loves gold.
LiL Dick: Who's that?
Sabur: Hey Yo Chico, it's the Bad Guy!
Lil Dick: Hunh?
Sabur: Razor Ryan dude, anyway I'm so siked about possibly being a tag team with Ryan, tag team wrestling was huge when I was a kid, it had sort of fallen off as of late but the APW has their finger on the pulse of wrestling fans, and well I have a feeling tag teams are back my pink little fellow.
Lil Dick: And I'm sure as usual you have spent your money frivolously and have some old school type of gimmick that reminds you of your childhood.
Sabur: And there is a problem with that.
Lil Dick: No, not at all, in fact I think the merchants of the world most love the fact that you spend your money without care. In a declining economy, the rising cost of fuel, and the dwindling value of the American dollar, I think you spending your money needlessly is great for the economy.
Sabur: What is an economy?
Lil Dick: Never mind.
The two continue on and enter the locker room. Sabur smiles as his package is sitting there waiting to be opened by the Irish Hammer. Sabur pulls out a Smith and Wesson Viper knife, slices the tape on the box when Lil Dick catches a glimpse of the knife.
Lil Dick: HEY, is that a Smith and Wesson?
Sabur: Yes, a bunch of swag for Dianna from Smith and Wesson showed up at Sabotage, and I took the liberty that Dianna wouldn't need thirty eight knives, so I swiped one figured she wouldn't miss it.
Sabur then pulls the first item out of the huge box as packing peanuts spill out on the locker room floor.
Sabur: Ohh shit.
Sabur then pulls out a pair of amateur wrestling ear guards, followed by a bunch of neon colored tye dyed wrestling tights.
Sabur: Check it out I could go with the Steiner Brother theme and Dog face gremlin it right up, or I could take it back and become a new Rocker.
Lil Dick then reaches in and pulls out a leather mask studded with rivets.
Lil Dick: What is this from, a tag team gay porn.
Sabur: No way, that is a mask from one of the greatest tag teams in history the Demolition, man they were great "Here comes the Ax'er here comes the Smash'er, Demolition" man that was the best.
Lil Dick: Oh shit I know what these are.
He the muscles out a large pair of shoulder pads with spikes. The midget sets the heavy equipment on the ground as in walks Razor Ryan.
Razor: What up.....whoa more shit hunh, is it He-man this time, you know if Trevor walks in he's going to be pissed.
Sabur: No way, this is old tag team memorabilia, and I think even Trevor could appreciate this.
Razor: Check it out Legion of Doom shoulder pads fucking cool.
Razor puts the shoulder pads on.
Razor: They were the best tag team ever.
Sabur: No way Demolition was. (as he puts the Dominatrix type mask on)
Razor: Dude, Demolition was invented as a rib on the Road Warriors, so your favorite team was just a gimmicked joke.
Lil Dick: That explains a lot.
Sabur: Listen what started out as a gimmick spawned into a legendary tag team, which brought home the gold.
Razor: Not as many times as the L.O.D
Sabur: DEMOLITION!
Razor: L.O.D.!
Sabur: DEMOLITION!.
Razor: L.O.......
The door opens and in walks Tony and Trevor. Tony begins to chuckle as he sees Razor wearing a pair of L.O.D. shoulder pads and Sabur's face covered with a leather mask studded with metal rivets. Sabur and Razor look over toward the Blackwell brothers as Fyre Angel then walks into the room bursting into laughter herself.
Fyre Angel: Ok, so Razor is from L.O.D. but Sabur what the fuck are you representing.
Sabur: Demolition, man nobody's respects the greatness that is Ax and Smash.
Tony: Don't forget about Crush (chuckling)
The group looks at Trevor as if waiting for a response from him on a verdict, whether Sabur's silliness was going to earn him another forehead crack from the trusty cane of Trevor's (and if one were smart investing in the stock of Singapore cane may be a wise investment, seeing the constant need for Trevor replacing them during the training period). Trevor glance into the box, and pulls out a pair of pink Hit man glasses, he puts them on his face, and looks back at the group.
Trevor: Fuck the L.O.D., and Demolition can suck a dick, but not you lil fellow (looking at the Littlest of Dicks), the greatest tag team ever just happens to be Hart Foundation, which led to one of the greatest to enter the ring Bret Hart.
Sabur: (smacking Razor on the shoulder pad) Ouch, see I told you he could appreciate it.
Trevor then whacks Sabur in the mask, and then kicking the box over. Sabur grabs the mask off of his head and the demeanor of his face has totally changed, By this point Sabur being cracked in the head with a cane has become like a command give a dog, or a whistle of sorts. Sabur's face had become very serious with an intensity in his eyes. Razor quickly pulls the shoulder pads off and set them on the ground. Trevor then looks around at Sex and Violence still wearing the Hit man glasses. The Career Killer Trevor Blackwell then grabs The Genetic Powerhouse by his chiseled jaw and locks eyes with him... their foreheads touching... his ice blues mirroring the intensity in his new progeny.
Trevor: That's right! Fucking focus, Sabur! All of this shit is from the past... great in their own time but still the past... YOU are the fucking Future... You and Razor are going to be the greatest Tag Team Champions this industry has ever seen... But this Monday isn't about gold and glory... Its about wiping the SHIT STAIN of Bryan J. Greatness off the face of Action Packed Wrestling. I promised Diana that the hellacious beating that I gave that fat fuck the last time he tried to fuck with my family would be all that I gave him... But you will snap the fat motherfucker in half... You will spread his belly jelly all over the fucking ring and show him what a House of Pain really is... YOU are the true GREATNESS in this industry... Sex and Violence: Version X has earned that name... Bryan is just a poor fuck who's parents gave him a name that he will NEVER live up to... And you need to drive that point home this Monday!!!
He pie faces Sabur onto the couch at The Genetic Powerhouse explodes back to his feet, leveling his mentor with a Clothesline that came from the very bowels of his soul... Trevor is immediately back on his feet, riding a righteous wave of adrenaline despite the pain in his throat. He cinches up a shocked Man-Cow and hurls him head and shoulder first into the wall above the couch with a beautiful Release Belly-to-Belly Suplex that has Sabur slumping down awkwardly upside down on the couch. Trevor lowers the Hit man shades over his eyes.
Trevor: Fuck Greatness... Bring all of that intensity and more to the ring with you on Monday... and show Bryan that we don't want him any more then his parents did...
Overdrive then goes to a commercial, and as they return prior to going back to the arena live, a vignette plays.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=
As soon as the video finishes, the scene then reappears to the crowded arena. The lights go out, as the crowd pops from the change knowing that something is about to happen....They wait for it......wait......and then........"MOOOOOOO!!" rings out and the fans jump from their overpriced seats (lets face it we pack the arena why not jack up the prices).
The lights dim, the music hits. Orange lights flash to the beat of the music, as a shower of red sparks stream down like a water fall. The music picks up, and two large explosions on both sides of the entrance ignite as Sabur strolls through the shower of sparks. Sabur walks out so smoothly with his arms out sideways like a retro Scott Hall, he the stops midway down the ramp looks around as if absorbing the love from the crowd, and then walks up to the stairs and enters the ring. Sabur grabs the mic and spits.
Sabur: What up NorthCharelston (cheap pop from the crowd, cause by now you should know I always go with the cheap heat)
Sabur pause for the crowd response
Sabur: So I was backstage living it up like a real lavish son of a bitch,(obviously not knowing his hyjenks backstage were televised) when in walks Trevor. So Trevor says to me, he says "You know Man Cow" cause that is what he calls me, so he says "You know you and the Bad Guy bringing us home the tag team gold will be impressive, but you have a match later." So I say "Really, Jeff put one of the sexiest members of the APW roster (crowd chuckles) in a match" So then I says to Trevor, I say "So My lord of Hardcore, my master, who is it that they dare set in front of a mad cow" and he replies " Well you are going one on one with the Greatness" and then at that very moment the entire locker room burst into laughter. Once we regain our composure I say " Wow Jeff must really be pissed at this Greatness", so I figured I would come out here in the presence of N.C. South Carolina (cheap pop again, cause it's priceless), and go ahead and cut us a modern day promo against this guy.
Sabur lowers his hand holding the mic he changes positions, looks into a different camera and continues
Sabur: So fresh off of my victory over the so called JESUS, we go right into another booking, and Jeff looks down the roster, as he does I'm sure he thinks to himself....and he says " Wow Kenny's Cok is bigger then mine" and then he might say to himself "How does a super nasty like dirty Dianna take that whole CoK" and then as the Hurra-Grand-Master dreams about his sexual exploitations with Kenny he then gets back to business. "Time to make a match, lets see oh here one talented piece of meat, the man-cow Sabur" .....................
Sabur pauses turning an ear toward the crowd receiving their cheer from the mention of his name, and then holds the mic back up and returns to his story.
Sabur: So then the Hurra-McMahon Jr. then says to himself " This Sabur is one hell of a worker, his larger muscular body looks as if it were chiseled from stone, and his talent is overflowing, who can we throw to this Genetic Human Destroyer" and then Jeff decides to throw me in the ring with the "Chins" (the crowd begins laughing at the fact Sabur just called the Greatness, Chins). So the stage is set, and you are fresh off of a hell of a streak.....Wait....thats right you are winless here. So let me recall your first match you almost forgot to show up for because you large ass was busy at the Hotel Buffet grazing the desert bar.
Sabur then drops the mic turning the ear to receive the laughter once more, and then returns to the assault.
Sabur: So Chins, then your second go round, was a close one, but you were outclassed and the Phate. So now fast forward to today, and the stage is set, and a chance for you to really try and jump off with a push. Sorry to inform you, but I will not be your stepping stone, and you my chubby friend will fall down like a fat kid in a diabetic coma....sorry that probably hits to close to home. So ok, you are the Greatness, last time I checked having a double stack of chins and some dopey hat doesn't make you great, but hey who am I to judge. You may very well be great, but what is apparent to all is that you are 6'3" 300 pounder, and I'm trailing right behind you. The difference between you and me is I'm a rock solid mass of muscle, and you are a loose Abdulah the Butcher type. So when the bell rings, and you attempt to flex your bicep,You stop reach down grab a chunk of the under arm flap thats a swinging in the breeze, pull it up to your mouth to give it a kiss, then I will truly recognize that I have just stepped in the ring with a physical specimen. We will lock up, and faster then you won the hot dog eating championship, I'll hoist your tubby ass on these massive shoulders, and whip you around fro the House of Pain. Shortly after the ring settles, and I regain composure from the tremor, I'll hook the leg, and send you on your way back to the locker room with yet another loss, but you won't be empty handed. No sir Chins, I will have a bag of Whoppers hand delivered to you courtesy of the King himself. So mark it down in your calendar, and chronicle it in your Greatness archives March 19, 2008 the Greatness will have achieved the highest level of success, the Irish Hammer just beat that ass, and the King of Burgers hand delivered you a bundle of Greatness for you to scarf down, so that the next time we see you in the ring, it may be the Greatness of 2009, pushing close to 400 lbs.
Sabur then turns to switch cameras again, and well....
Sabur: So in closing you can be great in your own mind, hell even in a couple of the boy's in the backs mind, but you aren't fooling me. So Ham-burglar waddle your ass to the ring, cause Grimace is going to kick your ass tonight. Greatness.......more like flame-broiled.
The Arena erupts into a chorus of boos as Comfort Eagle by Cake starts to play, echoing threw the Arena. More pyro then humanly possible flashes from around the stage, and as the blinding light subsides, and what a waist if you ask me, possibly why the increase in ticket prices as of late, the budget team is needlessly throwing money away on pyro for a slobby bitch like this, any way I digress. Out waddles Lil Dick dressed in a Jr. Whopper hamburger suit. The fans explode in laughter. Slowly, he struts down to the ring, grinning at the fans cursing and jeering him down the ramp. As he reaches the bottom, raising his arms to the sky, giving a pose as sparks shower down upon the ring from the roof.
Sabur: Ladies and Gentlemen he's here, the Greatness has arrived.
Sabur drops to his knees and begins to bow down to the mini-Greatness. Lil Dick climbs the stairs, walks along the apron lifts a leg to enter the ring, but the bun and burger shape of the suit hit the ropes and Lil Dick falls to the mat outside the ring.
Sabur: Ohh shit Hamburglar down......
Sabur jumps out of the ring walking over to a downed Lil Dick who's feet are flailing as he is posted up sideways crinkling his lettuce.
Sabur: There it is folks the Greatness had trouble entering the ring due to his unique roundness, and juicy flavor.
Sabur then hoists his midget in a burger suit into the air and then throws him over the top rope into the ring. Sabur then slide a mic over to the Lil Dick Greatness impersonator. Sabur then slide into the ring and stands up to the fake Greatness.
Greatness/Lil Dick: You know the Greatness has had enough of you out here running your mouth about the Greatness, cause the Greatness is the Greatness...
Sabur: I'm sorry what did you say your name was?
Greatness/Lil Dick: I said I am the Greatn.......
Sabur: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS.
The fans erupt once more with cheers and laughter. Hell even the production crew begins to chuckles as a camera quickly cuts to the crew in the video truck laughing right along with the Irish Hammer. The fans then Moooo in appreciation for their man cow. The mini-Greatness begins pacing back and forth.
Sabur: Easy their my medium rare lil friend, me and you have a match later, and I don't want your big ass to get winded before the match. OK, Chins it's me and it's you, I have said my piece I going to let you get a word in, so here you go kid, let'er rip.
Greatness/Lil Dick: Well you can't imagine how hard it is walking around this size, trying to buy clothes, find a descent wrestling outfit, and then I must walk out here to here your disrespect. I mean I get enough mental abuse when the cashier at the local Wal Mart rings up my size 4X shirts, but this insult, the Greatness can not forget. You think you are all cool out here cause you roll with a hot, sexy, rugged midget......
The mini Greatness stops to hear the roar from the crowd for their love of the Lil Dick. A smile can be seen in between the beef patty and leafs of lettuce as Lil Dicks face protrudes out the burger outfit.
Sabur: Your right the world loves my Lil Dick, and I haven't given you any respect, so here we go let me honor you Greatness. Late night after romping the sheets with some whore from a random city, I finish off, and leave the woman laying there all reamed out, I jump off the bed and think to myself, I could really go for some flame-broiled Greatness, and then it's you that I think of, none other then the Ham-burglar.
The fans chuckles once more.
Sabur: Anyway, big boy, we have ourselves a match, and my Lil Dick looks hot in the disgusting burger suit so I'll finish up. Come to the ring if you dare, leave the ring if I let you. The Hammer has come to do work, and you my fat friend are unfortunately are the next victim. Last week it was Michael Lively that stepped into the House, and this week Chins I hear your knocking on the door, so welcome to the house of pain, Prep the pyro, cue his music, and stuff your bitch tits into a sports bra so we can do this thing.
Sabur drops the mic, and slides under the bottom rope. Lil Dick tries to follow but gets held up by the ropes. Lil Dick then runs across the ring hits the opposite ropes catching momentum, and then leaps outward sliding between the top and middle rope. Sabur catches the flame-broiled beef patty that is at the moment his Lil Dick. The two make their way out of the arena.
