Post by "That Girl" Diana Lambardo on Apr 10, 2008 4:04:18 GMT -4
So, Overdrive left Diana just barely without gold around her waist. A shame, yes, but she wasn’t letting it bother her.
“Just means I’ve got to step it up.” She said to Kenny who was proudly displaying his gold next to her.
“Baby, you held your own in the ring against three men. Not that that has ever been much of a problem for you but come on, you’ve only been back in the business a few weeks!”
“Yeah. Yeah, You’re right. I’m over it. Time to move forward.”
“Good.”
They were sitting on the roof with Skylar, who up until now had been playing a few feet away with some jacks. Damn right Diana raised her daughter old school! She picked up her jacks and ran over to them and jumped into Kenny’s lap. “Mommy, Kenny, what are you talking about?”
“Oh, just work sweetheart.” Diana said and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. “Mommy and Kenny have to go take care of some stuff for work, do you mind going back to Daddy for just a little while?”
Skylar nodded, and then giggled shyly as she said, “Daddy’s old!” and continued to giggle.
Diana and Kenny looked at each other wide eyed for a moment before Diana addressed the situation. “Skylar, honey. You’re almost in the double digits! You know you can’t talk about your father like that!”
“Sorry Mommy!” She hopped off Kenny’s lap and ran to put her jacks in her miniature black backpack and threw it over her shoulder.
“I’m gonna run and drop her off really quick. But I have a little bit of an idea so care to meet me backstage in 10?” Kenny nodded in response and Diana smiled and kissed him goodbye.
... Meanwhile, APW cut to a short public service announcement brought to you entirely by Diana Steel.
Diana is sitting in a chair in a grey room with pale lighting that appears very serious in tone.
The world is facing a huge problem today, that often times goes unnoticed and uncared for. Professional wrestlers have been obtaining head injuries for years, but more and more we have been finding unfortunate signs of early dementia in wrestlers suffering these injuries. If you or someone you love is, or has ever been a professional wrestler look out for these tell tail signs.
As she mentions each sign images in black and white of APW wrestlers looking confused flash on the screen.
Overly intense reactions to small situations, similar to side effects of steroid use; illusions that he/she is in their prime, however old they may be; hallucinations of superhero’s flying into their room; and Erectile Dysfunction. Don’t let your loved ones go untreated. Watch for the signs.
A small animated rainbow appears over her head.
Because…the more you know, the less you don’t know.
When we return we are once again in the darkness of the arena listening to the prayer overhead.
And shepherds we shall be
For thee, my Lord, for thee
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be
May Kaos have mercy on your soul
Spirit lacks on your body
In nominee Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti
When the spotlight hits the ramp we see Kenny accompanied by Diana heading towards the ring. Diana is dressed as usual, yet something is different. This time she is headed down the ramp slowly, with the assistance of a shiny new walker, inching down with Kenny assisting her by the arm as she appears to struggle. By the time they finally reach the ring the crowd is completely silent and slightly confused. Kenny picked up the mic and held it to Diana’s mouth.
“Do you see this!” She says, angrily shaking a fist like an old man would. “This is my Singapore Walker! I need it to bludgeon and beat my opponents and others who are completely irrelevant. Oh, and to help me walk. I never leave anywhere without it! Now, who wants to get a taste of hardcore?!?!?” She waited as the fans paused for a moment before they erupted and fans in the front row started bombarding the bouncers. “You!” She said, pointing to a 20ish year old boy. “You displease me! Now come to the ring boy!” Kenny reached a hand down to pull him up into the ring and the boy eagerly awaited his hilarious fate. Diana, well, she simply hit him in the side with the walker throwing both him and the walker itself out of the ring again. She returned to her normal posture and adjusted her clothes.
“Now, Kenny babe, where was I?”
He chuckled. “I think you were going to talk about how badly we’re going to ruin two very big chumps this week. Ring a bell?”
“Ah, yes. Yes. Sorry, I digressed.” She took the mic from Kenny and grinned eagerly. “You know, up until this point I’ve been harping on about how great I used to be. And I was, don’t you worry about it, I was. I was the very best. But times have fucking changed my friends. Okay, so I’m still a little rusty and I let Jay-Jay get his hands on the Overdrive title. Babe, quite frankly I have bigger fish to fry. I’m fighting Tony and Michael Lively this week alongside my one and only. Well how about that? Lively? Well quite frankly where was he at Overdrive? I mean, I know he was in the match…but I forgot he was there! He’s a talented wrestler, I guess. But the poor kids too distracted I think by the fact that everyone in the fed that likes vag wanks to a picture of his mom every night! He spends more time trying to get her to cover up than he does trying to win a match! Stuff like that could really ruin a person’s life. It’s a terrible tragedy…you hate to see it. But Tony. Now there’s a little bit of a legend now isn’t there? You’re a Blackwell, Tony!”
Diana and Kenny huddle together and shiver quite sarcastically.
“Oh give me a break. I know you Blackwell’s far too well to psych myself out on this one. Hell, one of you is the father of my little girl. I’ll give you two guesses as to which one. .::she winked::. I mean, why the hell did you think I went insane in the first place? Now Trevor, you remember how you brought me into the business? In one of your unsuccessful efforts to take down Kenny. Now, how long was it before that went sour? How long before I chose a real champion over you grandpa? Not very long, no. And do you know why? I followed your little plan so I could find him again. End of story. I despise you Blackwells. And my disdain grows more and more each day I’ve been in this business. Yes, Trevor is a great dad. That’s where the story ends. So do you want to know my point Tony? Of the three Blackwell’s, you are the least important. Since I’ve known you, you have been hidden deeply in the shadow of your brother and sister. I may not be either of their biggest fans, HELL no. But you? You’re nothing but a stain on both their careers!”
Kenny imitated an interviewing voice. “But Diana, what ever would make you say something like that?!?”
“Well, that’s simple! Tony, do you remember how you came into this business? Your own brother and sister were working here with some other asshole, some phony for years. They called him Tony, they called him their brother for Christ’s sake because they were so fucked up they couldn’t remember who you were! You even came back to find them, and it STILL took them a while to realize they had the wrong Tony the whole time! You’re nothing to them Tony! Replaceable! Dispensable! And I want you to think about that while you’re fighting me. While your getting destroyed by Kenny. While you’re trying to fight the urge to look at your partner’s mom’s tits. And trust me, it’s an urge that takes a lot of fighting. .::she winked again::. Family. You Blackwell’s talk a whole lot about it. But I know the truth. You’re a wash-up, a druggie slut, and a nobody and you’re all trying to pretend that there’s something admirable to say for yourselves. But even that is a farce. If I may be totally cliché boys…YA’LL AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’ ON US!!!” Diana took a breath and cleared her throat.
“Now Lively. Lively Lively Lively.” She said that as she shook her head from side to side pacing the ring. “I saw your last appearance and damn, you have no idea how easy you’re making this for me. See, I’ve been takin’ bullshit from sexist assholes like you for years and I live for the few days of my life that I get to rip you assholes right down off your high horse and teach you a lesson…and NOT the good kind.” She winked at Kenny. “Now it seems to me you’re a tad bit disappointed in the lack of eye candy around here. You’re just not lookin’ right sweetheart! Look around honey, we’ve got Kristina Blackwell who used to be hardcore, but now she’s just a good-looking slut. We’ve got Fyre Angel, and she’s a redhead so you get the idea around that one. Plus we’ve got a couple new comin’ ladies that I’m sure will be searching for your masculine approval. Oh, and don’t forget your mom! She sure seems to be enough eye candy for everyone else around here, what’s the problem? She doesn’t do it for ya?”
“Don’t forget the Moster girl.” Kenny nudged her.
“Uhhhh yeahhh…and if you can find her, go check out the Monster girl, I hear she’s pretty fine too! So what other idiotic things did you ramble about…Am I seriously supposed to feel inadequate for being a woman? Especially when I’m up against a man who can’t cut the chord? You act like you want your mom to leave you alone but I’m betting she’s been at it for so long you wouldn’t be able to function without her handling your business for you. You’re the hottest shit going??? Dude, where the hell did you pull that from? Don’t think that just because we lost the same match last week makes us on the same level. Far from it. You hear me and you hear me well and good: I am more of a man than you will ever, ever be. And I am more of a woman than you will ever, ever get. But don’t take my word for it just yet, because they will be ringing in your ears for weeks after we’re through with your ignorant ass.”
“Oh and Diana, since when have we been swingers?”
“Oooo…Kenny I forgot to tell you I’ve been slipping you roofies and taking you to swingers clubs every Saturday.”
“Damnit…I can’t even remember! How is it?”
“Well, I’m sure it would have been great if it ever fucking happened! Where did these morons come from? I sure know that Hurricane Jeff didn’t get to where he is by being a total moron. And I know you sure didn’t babe! As for Trevor…I don’t even remember how he got anywhere it was so long ago. I don’t even remember having sex with him…it’s as if it never happened!!! Sure, I dig chicks. But cheating is cheating, unless Kenny’s into it of course. And just to clear some things up, don’t you think for a second that because Kenny and I are engaged means in the slightest that we’ll be weaker fighting together. Hell, tag matches are my absolute specialty and fuck I’ve had to beat the hell OUT OF my best friend so many times we both lost count. It’s a match. And THAT’S what makes us professional, bitch. Not my chest size. I’m out. Kenny, you’re in if you dig it.”
Kenny did grab the mic from her. “34B, for those still wondering. She makes up for it in the back end though.”
“Ugh, Kenny. Give it a rest…oh nevermind. Thank you for the compliment.”
Kenny will probably pick up where Diana left off. If not…well…that was awkward!
