Post by THERE IS A GOD on Apr 14, 2008 5:41:03 GMT -4
Okay, okay, okay… So I screwed just about everyone last week! “Spirit” Tara Jacobs began with the declaration of war against “Sex & Violence”. Against the regime of Trevor Blackwell, and everything that regime stands for. In the end she solidified her position as “The Dark Paladin of Kaos”. Trevor, and Tony nearly killed each other over the APW Xtreme Championship, but in the end Tony was just too much. Unfortunately for the two of them no one really cared about that. What everyone cared about was the APW World Heavyweight Champion, Sgt. Kenny Lambardo, and the steel chair he wrapped around Trevor’s head. What everyone cared about was what the hell was going through the KaotiK mind of the marine. They got their answer later that night. Lambardo was a sell-out! In what he thought would be the most honorable moment in his career, for the good of APW, he was forsaken. The fans turned on him. The very fans that he loved most, twisted a knife in his back. Fine! Have things your way.
This Monday Night at Overdrive live from somewhere that nobody fucking cares about, because it’s in Australia, the new reigning Xtreme Champion, Tony Blackwell will team with the hottest shit going, “The White Lion” Michael Lively against the hottest thing in APW period, Sgt. Kenny Lambardo, and Diana Steel.
Action Packed Wrestling’s World Heavyweight Champion, the man they call “The Ego Crusher” Sgt. Kenny Lambardo, stood tall in all black. Slacks, boots, and a collared- shirt with the sleeves rolled above the elbow, and the top two buttons undone. Perfect hair, and perfect smile. The APW World Heavyweight Championship belt lay over his right shoulder, with a strong hand securely fastened to its side. He pulled the microphone to his lips, and stared at she who by far was the most badass mother fucker on the block, and the hottest one to boot, “That Girl” Diana Steel. Kenny raises an eye, not quite sure what to make of her last statement “Give it a rest…” After an awkward pause, the champion takes a step back, falling to his knees, and bowing to his fiancé in a very “Wayne’s World, I’m not worthy” fashion because that was the best promo of Diana’s career!
The crowd gave the sergeant a mixed reaction.
The World Champion immediately rose to his feet, and brought the mic to his lips. “Oh no! Oh fuck no! I thought you wanted to boo me? I thought you wanted to hate me? I turned on your beloved “Sex & Violence”, remember?
The crowd boos!
“That’s not good enough.” The champ responds. “Maybe I should try saying this in a different way. Apparently the world went either dumb or oblivious when I wasn’t looking.”
Harvey: Who the hell does he think that he is? God?
Chase: Now I know what he’s talking about.
“No sweetheart.” Diana interjected. “The world is dumb, and oblivious. And it’s always been that way.”
The crowd boos!
“That’s still not good enough!” Lambardo continued. “Just stop. Stop booing. Stop cheering. Stop sending me fan mail. Stop logging on to my website. Stop with the emails, and I erased my fucking myspace account. And for the love of Kaos stop fucking calling me! It’s over. Get over it! There’s someone else… Me!”
The crowd boos even louder!
“Shit! This is gonna be harder than I thought, sweetheart.” He said to Diana before turning his attention back to the crowd. “Look at me. Not my wrestling career, but my life. I worked my way through mental rehabilitation, was a simultaneous champion, tagged with Hurricane Jeff, passed the BAR exam, wrestled in Japan, America, Mexico, Canada, and now Australia. Well. That last one kind of kills it.”
The crowd boos more, and more!
“I’m a three time World Champion, a Playgirl centerfold, and I just signed with MGM studios to do what I can assure you will be the biggest action summer blockbuster in years! I own four businesses! And to make things even better, I’m engaged to the woman of my dreams, my childhood sweetheart, and by far the best god damn fucking woman that I have ever met in my entire life. I’ve done more in my twenty six years on the planet then any of you have done in your entire lives combined! And I’ve made more money doing it too…”
Harvey: Such disrespect for the fans here tonight.
Chase: Hey man. They started it!
The crowd just kept booing!
“You guys are a means to an end at best. The “APW faithful”… You guys are a fucking joke… the means to an end at best… In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I don’t fucking need you! I’ve never fucking needed you! I don’t need this federation. I don’t need the World Championship! I’m here for two reasons, and two reasons alone. First, is to give a little back to my old friend, Hurricane Jeff. The next, is to keep this belt off Trevor Blackwell!”
Well, as you could imagine, that idea didn’t go over well with the fans at all!
Kenny smiled that famous Lambardo grin. “There it is… There’s your hate… So that’s what you want, huh? You want to see a Singapore Cane cracked over my head…”
The crowd cheered!
You want to see Trevor Blackwell kick my ass?”
The crowd explodes into a chant of “BLACKWELL! BLACKWELL! BLACKWELL!”
“Well, how the hell does it feel to want?!” The KaotiK God rebutted. “This isn’t about Trevor Blackwell! It hasn’t been about Trevor Blackwell since the moment I first stepped foot in this fucking fed! You guys are just way too slow on the uptake. So try to pay attention, and I promise to try to use smaller words.
Harvey: That should be good for you, Chase.
Chase: You better watch your tongue, Harv.
The crowd boos!
“”This week at Overdrive, my fiancé, and I have a match against the Revolution’s, Michael Lively, and “S&V’s” own Tony Blackwell. How the hell does that work out? Did you guys piss on Jeff’s cape or something? For Kaos sake! I think that I’d feel a little bad for you all if I didn’t want to kick the shit out of the two of you so bad. With that said. It just kinda makes me smile.”
“It makes me giggle!” Diana felt the need to interject.
Lambardo flashed that famous grin. “The broken “Sex & Violence” empire has been warring with “Revolution X” for sheer control of the fed since right after Carnage! You think that they are doing anything in the ring, against Diana, and me? Tell me you’re not really thinking of doing this? I mean, Diana, and I are engaged to be married! There is not a person on the face of the planet that knows me better than her, and vice a versa. We’ve trained together, and have been partners far beyond this little ring. And that’s just where the shit begins. “That Girl” Diana Steel just so happens to be the tag team partner of legend. She was WWC’s longest reigning Tag Team Champion. And for those of you who are curious, her partner just happens to be “The Dark Paladin of Kaos”. You know the saying: Behind every great man is a better woman? Then what kind of entity stands behind a God?”
Diana gave him a quick peck on the lips…
Harvey: That was sweet.
Chase: That was pathetic!
Kenny smiled. “And me? I tagged with Hurricane Jeff! We we’re the first, and only Tag Team Champions of IWC, and I think the reasoning behind that is kind of obvious. Combined here is some of the greatest tag talent ever to grace the squared circle. What do the two of you have?”
Lambardo turned his attention to the titontron, as if talking to the opponents that he knew were backstage.
“Hatred for me…” Kenny answered his own question with that one. “The two of you simply have a common enemy between you. Me. That’s really is some godly shit. I told you all to band together before I became too much for you. Now we know that Lively got the hint when he joined the Revolution, but do you think that excluded you Tony? Or should I say Tony Blackwell Version 14.0!
The crowd boos!
“Yeah,” Kenny continued, “that was low. It gets worse however. Tony. You might want to put the bottle down, and take a listen to what I’m about to say. I don’t give a flying fucking what the hell upgrades you’ve had, and how much better you career is going to you. I’m going to kick the shit out of you just like I’ve done all the rest. I’ve built a career out of crushing the egos of fake Tonys, and it will be no different for you. I guarantee it. So what kind of family does that make you? Expendable is the word that comes to mind. Listen boy, as far as I’m concerned you’re still a rookie in this business. So let be give you a little hint about your so called brother. He will use you to his own ends, and throw you away when you’ve served your purpose. Why? You’re not real. I guess all I’m trying to say is that I miss Nightshade. He was “The Real Xtremist” Tony Blackwell!”
The crowd starts a chant of “Nightshade! Nightshade! Nightshade!”
Chase: Who the hell is Nightshade?
Harvey: He was a Hardcore Wrestler in IWC, and the first person to ever claim they were the brother of Trevor Blackwell.
Chase: Does Trevor even have any family?
Harvey: Nobody knows.
“Yeah man! I blew up your spot! How do you like them apples? It’s okay. You act enough like Trevor’s puppet that it really doesn’t matter anyway. Kind of like that tin can that you carry around with you that you call a championship! Do you really think that you won that, or do you think that Trevor just decided not to kick out? Do you really think that you could have ACTUALLY beaten Trevor Blackwell? You think that maybe that he just felt bad for your sorry ass? Or maybe he just wanted the chance for a real championship? My championship. Search your feelings well, and good. You know the truth you can’t beat Trevor Blackwell, but I have, and I will again. Just like I’m gonna beat you. Not just because it’s my job. Not because Jeff told me to. I’m gonna beat you to send a message to Trevor Blackwell, and let him know just what kind of fight he just started.”
Harvey: Didn’t Kenny start the fight at Overdrive this past week?
Chase: Who cares, I love examples!
The crowd boos!
“You see Tony. It’s not good enough just to keep the title off the waist of anyone with the last name Blackwell, and it’s not enough to just beat the faith into him. The important thing is that I take him down. Bit by bit, destroying everything that he is, and that my friend is what makes this match we have, oh so special. Let’s face it Tony. You’re a fucking tool. You’re a tool for your brother. You’re not even good enough to be called his shadow, because you exist within it!”
The crowd boos!
“Nothing that has happened in your fucking career has happened without the hand of Trevor Blackwell. And that my friend is a COLD HARD FACT! Your Tag Team in Japan doesn’t mean shit. The Xtreme Title doesn’t mean shit. Why, because this isn’t Japan. This isn’t hardcore. And you don’t have Trevor with you. Not like it would help you much anyway. Nothing is going to help you.”
Harvey: Short of Trevor’s Singapore Cane apparently.
“Now if you all haven’t gotten the point yet… Tony is another ego begging to be crushed! And if you have anything to say about it, just remember one thing… I fucked your girl. No matter what you say, and what you do, that will always be true! I fucked your girl! It makes me laugh. And just to let you know, that girl that’s been hanging all over your cock, Kalayla Mitchell, is the girl I mean. Not like you could even notice, or know what to do with her, but she’s there regardless. Although. I mean… If you wanna play it safe, she has been passed around more than your sister.”
“Kenny!” Diana exclaimed. “Don’t say things like that! Being a slut is the only thing that Kristina has in life!”
“Okay, okay. I take it back.” Kenny replied. “Kristina is still the biggest slut I know!”
The fans boo!
“But now,” Kenny continued “on to someone a little more worth my time, like “The White Lion” Michael Lively.”
The crowd cheers at the mention of the Lion’s name.
“Now it’s been obvious here since his in ring debut that he has had a major crush on yours truly. The man dresses like me. He enters the ring like me. He even fights like me. And he has the mouth, and ego to boot. Hell that guy was the first person to beat me in a match since Matt Metal! That’s saying something! If ever there was a man created in God’s image it was him. It’s quite unfortunate that he has to be put in the ring with me again. Let me tell you something Michael. The first win was a fucking fluke, and its not going to happen again. I was rusty when we first met. Hell it was my second match in three years. You got off a bit lucky in that one now didn’t you Mikey? Now, you have the honor of stepping into the ring with me again. Two of the greatest high flyers to ever hit the top rope, in the same ring, one more time. Too bad you don’t get to win twice.”
Harvey: You think that he’s right. You think it was a fluke?
Chase: Well if it wasn’t, wouldn’t Michael Lively be APW World Heavyweight Champion right now.
Harvey: Gotta give it to you Chase, you don’t do it often, but you have a point.
“There won’t be another mistake of underestimating “The White Lion”. This time you get your ass handed back to you. This time me, and Diana get to pass you back and forth like that blunt… or your mom!”
The crowd boos!
“Yeah that was kinda low, but don’t think of it as a shot at you, think of it as a shot at your mom. Seriously though… Can Diana, and I have her number? I mean, I think that she would be great in a three way, and I really am one that gives it up to experience.”
Chase: And from what I hear, she definitely has the experience.
Kenny smiled. “Okay. That joke was easy. LIKE YOUR MOM! Sorry. Let’s try a different subject… Um… Hey! We’re you really caught with a monster? Did you like my monster? Did it taste good? Was it satisfying? Did it leave you wanting more?”
“Do you have a point?” Diana interrupted.
Kenny laughed. “Do I ever. To tell you the truth, I really have no problem with Michael Lively. I think that he is the biggest up and comer that this federation has. So I make this offer. You want to see how to make it in this company. Join me. Fuck the Revolution, and join me. Let me take you to the top, because you’re already on your way. However, what I’m offering is the express pass. But one way or the other, you will all hail… “The Church of Kaos”.
The scene fades to black on a shot of Kenny holding the APW World Heavyweight Championship to a booing crowd that hated him even more than when he started. He smiled, and APW television goes to commercial…
This Monday Night at Overdrive live from somewhere that nobody fucking cares about, because it’s in Australia, the new reigning Xtreme Champion, Tony Blackwell will team with the hottest shit going, “The White Lion” Michael Lively against the hottest thing in APW period, Sgt. Kenny Lambardo, and Diana Steel.
Action Packed Wrestling’s World Heavyweight Champion, the man they call “The Ego Crusher” Sgt. Kenny Lambardo, stood tall in all black. Slacks, boots, and a collared- shirt with the sleeves rolled above the elbow, and the top two buttons undone. Perfect hair, and perfect smile. The APW World Heavyweight Championship belt lay over his right shoulder, with a strong hand securely fastened to its side. He pulled the microphone to his lips, and stared at she who by far was the most badass mother fucker on the block, and the hottest one to boot, “That Girl” Diana Steel. Kenny raises an eye, not quite sure what to make of her last statement “Give it a rest…” After an awkward pause, the champion takes a step back, falling to his knees, and bowing to his fiancé in a very “Wayne’s World, I’m not worthy” fashion because that was the best promo of Diana’s career!
The crowd gave the sergeant a mixed reaction.
The World Champion immediately rose to his feet, and brought the mic to his lips. “Oh no! Oh fuck no! I thought you wanted to boo me? I thought you wanted to hate me? I turned on your beloved “Sex & Violence”, remember?
The crowd boos!
“That’s not good enough.” The champ responds. “Maybe I should try saying this in a different way. Apparently the world went either dumb or oblivious when I wasn’t looking.”
Harvey: Who the hell does he think that he is? God?
Chase: Now I know what he’s talking about.
“No sweetheart.” Diana interjected. “The world is dumb, and oblivious. And it’s always been that way.”
The crowd boos!
“That’s still not good enough!” Lambardo continued. “Just stop. Stop booing. Stop cheering. Stop sending me fan mail. Stop logging on to my website. Stop with the emails, and I erased my fucking myspace account. And for the love of Kaos stop fucking calling me! It’s over. Get over it! There’s someone else… Me!”
The crowd boos even louder!
“Shit! This is gonna be harder than I thought, sweetheart.” He said to Diana before turning his attention back to the crowd. “Look at me. Not my wrestling career, but my life. I worked my way through mental rehabilitation, was a simultaneous champion, tagged with Hurricane Jeff, passed the BAR exam, wrestled in Japan, America, Mexico, Canada, and now Australia. Well. That last one kind of kills it.”
The crowd boos more, and more!
“I’m a three time World Champion, a Playgirl centerfold, and I just signed with MGM studios to do what I can assure you will be the biggest action summer blockbuster in years! I own four businesses! And to make things even better, I’m engaged to the woman of my dreams, my childhood sweetheart, and by far the best god damn fucking woman that I have ever met in my entire life. I’ve done more in my twenty six years on the planet then any of you have done in your entire lives combined! And I’ve made more money doing it too…”
Harvey: Such disrespect for the fans here tonight.
Chase: Hey man. They started it!
The crowd just kept booing!
“You guys are a means to an end at best. The “APW faithful”… You guys are a fucking joke… the means to an end at best… In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I don’t fucking need you! I’ve never fucking needed you! I don’t need this federation. I don’t need the World Championship! I’m here for two reasons, and two reasons alone. First, is to give a little back to my old friend, Hurricane Jeff. The next, is to keep this belt off Trevor Blackwell!”
Well, as you could imagine, that idea didn’t go over well with the fans at all!
Kenny smiled that famous Lambardo grin. “There it is… There’s your hate… So that’s what you want, huh? You want to see a Singapore Cane cracked over my head…”
The crowd cheered!
You want to see Trevor Blackwell kick my ass?”
The crowd explodes into a chant of “BLACKWELL! BLACKWELL! BLACKWELL!”
“Well, how the hell does it feel to want?!” The KaotiK God rebutted. “This isn’t about Trevor Blackwell! It hasn’t been about Trevor Blackwell since the moment I first stepped foot in this fucking fed! You guys are just way too slow on the uptake. So try to pay attention, and I promise to try to use smaller words.
Harvey: That should be good for you, Chase.
Chase: You better watch your tongue, Harv.
The crowd boos!
“”This week at Overdrive, my fiancé, and I have a match against the Revolution’s, Michael Lively, and “S&V’s” own Tony Blackwell. How the hell does that work out? Did you guys piss on Jeff’s cape or something? For Kaos sake! I think that I’d feel a little bad for you all if I didn’t want to kick the shit out of the two of you so bad. With that said. It just kinda makes me smile.”
“It makes me giggle!” Diana felt the need to interject.
Lambardo flashed that famous grin. “The broken “Sex & Violence” empire has been warring with “Revolution X” for sheer control of the fed since right after Carnage! You think that they are doing anything in the ring, against Diana, and me? Tell me you’re not really thinking of doing this? I mean, Diana, and I are engaged to be married! There is not a person on the face of the planet that knows me better than her, and vice a versa. We’ve trained together, and have been partners far beyond this little ring. And that’s just where the shit begins. “That Girl” Diana Steel just so happens to be the tag team partner of legend. She was WWC’s longest reigning Tag Team Champion. And for those of you who are curious, her partner just happens to be “The Dark Paladin of Kaos”. You know the saying: Behind every great man is a better woman? Then what kind of entity stands behind a God?”
Diana gave him a quick peck on the lips…
Harvey: That was sweet.
Chase: That was pathetic!
Kenny smiled. “And me? I tagged with Hurricane Jeff! We we’re the first, and only Tag Team Champions of IWC, and I think the reasoning behind that is kind of obvious. Combined here is some of the greatest tag talent ever to grace the squared circle. What do the two of you have?”
Lambardo turned his attention to the titontron, as if talking to the opponents that he knew were backstage.
“Hatred for me…” Kenny answered his own question with that one. “The two of you simply have a common enemy between you. Me. That’s really is some godly shit. I told you all to band together before I became too much for you. Now we know that Lively got the hint when he joined the Revolution, but do you think that excluded you Tony? Or should I say Tony Blackwell Version 14.0!
The crowd boos!
“Yeah,” Kenny continued, “that was low. It gets worse however. Tony. You might want to put the bottle down, and take a listen to what I’m about to say. I don’t give a flying fucking what the hell upgrades you’ve had, and how much better you career is going to you. I’m going to kick the shit out of you just like I’ve done all the rest. I’ve built a career out of crushing the egos of fake Tonys, and it will be no different for you. I guarantee it. So what kind of family does that make you? Expendable is the word that comes to mind. Listen boy, as far as I’m concerned you’re still a rookie in this business. So let be give you a little hint about your so called brother. He will use you to his own ends, and throw you away when you’ve served your purpose. Why? You’re not real. I guess all I’m trying to say is that I miss Nightshade. He was “The Real Xtremist” Tony Blackwell!”
The crowd starts a chant of “Nightshade! Nightshade! Nightshade!”
Chase: Who the hell is Nightshade?
Harvey: He was a Hardcore Wrestler in IWC, and the first person to ever claim they were the brother of Trevor Blackwell.
Chase: Does Trevor even have any family?
Harvey: Nobody knows.
“Yeah man! I blew up your spot! How do you like them apples? It’s okay. You act enough like Trevor’s puppet that it really doesn’t matter anyway. Kind of like that tin can that you carry around with you that you call a championship! Do you really think that you won that, or do you think that Trevor just decided not to kick out? Do you really think that you could have ACTUALLY beaten Trevor Blackwell? You think that maybe that he just felt bad for your sorry ass? Or maybe he just wanted the chance for a real championship? My championship. Search your feelings well, and good. You know the truth you can’t beat Trevor Blackwell, but I have, and I will again. Just like I’m gonna beat you. Not just because it’s my job. Not because Jeff told me to. I’m gonna beat you to send a message to Trevor Blackwell, and let him know just what kind of fight he just started.”
Harvey: Didn’t Kenny start the fight at Overdrive this past week?
Chase: Who cares, I love examples!
The crowd boos!
“You see Tony. It’s not good enough just to keep the title off the waist of anyone with the last name Blackwell, and it’s not enough to just beat the faith into him. The important thing is that I take him down. Bit by bit, destroying everything that he is, and that my friend is what makes this match we have, oh so special. Let’s face it Tony. You’re a fucking tool. You’re a tool for your brother. You’re not even good enough to be called his shadow, because you exist within it!”
The crowd boos!
“Nothing that has happened in your fucking career has happened without the hand of Trevor Blackwell. And that my friend is a COLD HARD FACT! Your Tag Team in Japan doesn’t mean shit. The Xtreme Title doesn’t mean shit. Why, because this isn’t Japan. This isn’t hardcore. And you don’t have Trevor with you. Not like it would help you much anyway. Nothing is going to help you.”
Harvey: Short of Trevor’s Singapore Cane apparently.
“Now if you all haven’t gotten the point yet… Tony is another ego begging to be crushed! And if you have anything to say about it, just remember one thing… I fucked your girl. No matter what you say, and what you do, that will always be true! I fucked your girl! It makes me laugh. And just to let you know, that girl that’s been hanging all over your cock, Kalayla Mitchell, is the girl I mean. Not like you could even notice, or know what to do with her, but she’s there regardless. Although. I mean… If you wanna play it safe, she has been passed around more than your sister.”
“Kenny!” Diana exclaimed. “Don’t say things like that! Being a slut is the only thing that Kristina has in life!”
“Okay, okay. I take it back.” Kenny replied. “Kristina is still the biggest slut I know!”
The fans boo!
“But now,” Kenny continued “on to someone a little more worth my time, like “The White Lion” Michael Lively.”
The crowd cheers at the mention of the Lion’s name.
“Now it’s been obvious here since his in ring debut that he has had a major crush on yours truly. The man dresses like me. He enters the ring like me. He even fights like me. And he has the mouth, and ego to boot. Hell that guy was the first person to beat me in a match since Matt Metal! That’s saying something! If ever there was a man created in God’s image it was him. It’s quite unfortunate that he has to be put in the ring with me again. Let me tell you something Michael. The first win was a fucking fluke, and its not going to happen again. I was rusty when we first met. Hell it was my second match in three years. You got off a bit lucky in that one now didn’t you Mikey? Now, you have the honor of stepping into the ring with me again. Two of the greatest high flyers to ever hit the top rope, in the same ring, one more time. Too bad you don’t get to win twice.”
Harvey: You think that he’s right. You think it was a fluke?
Chase: Well if it wasn’t, wouldn’t Michael Lively be APW World Heavyweight Champion right now.
Harvey: Gotta give it to you Chase, you don’t do it often, but you have a point.
“There won’t be another mistake of underestimating “The White Lion”. This time you get your ass handed back to you. This time me, and Diana get to pass you back and forth like that blunt… or your mom!”
The crowd boos!
“Yeah that was kinda low, but don’t think of it as a shot at you, think of it as a shot at your mom. Seriously though… Can Diana, and I have her number? I mean, I think that she would be great in a three way, and I really am one that gives it up to experience.”
Chase: And from what I hear, she definitely has the experience.
Kenny smiled. “Okay. That joke was easy. LIKE YOUR MOM! Sorry. Let’s try a different subject… Um… Hey! We’re you really caught with a monster? Did you like my monster? Did it taste good? Was it satisfying? Did it leave you wanting more?”
“Do you have a point?” Diana interrupted.
Kenny laughed. “Do I ever. To tell you the truth, I really have no problem with Michael Lively. I think that he is the biggest up and comer that this federation has. So I make this offer. You want to see how to make it in this company. Join me. Fuck the Revolution, and join me. Let me take you to the top, because you’re already on your way. However, what I’m offering is the express pass. But one way or the other, you will all hail… “The Church of Kaos”.
The scene fades to black on a shot of Kenny holding the APW World Heavyweight Championship to a booing crowd that hated him even more than when he started. He smiled, and APW television goes to commercial…
