Post by Your JESUS on Apr 29, 2008 20:15:18 GMT -4
Sabur comes to, in the backstage area. He tries to gain his composure after being assualted by Lively. Saburs sits up holding his head, he then looks around, and spots a downed Lil Dick. His feet sticking out from a pile of metal folding chairs. Sabur jumps to his feet and stumbles over to rescue his Lil Dick. The Hammer pulls out the lil fellow, and tries to revive him, but the Lil Dick will not wake up.
Sabur: HELP!! MY Lil DICK is OUT COLD!!!! HELP!!!!
A member of the ring crew heres the cries for help and calls on his radio for the medical crew. Soon a medical team arrives. The man sets down a bag of equiptment as the female medic secures the Lil mans neck with a brace for precaution. She then checks to see if he is breathing, and nothing.
Female Medic: I need to recisatate him.
She then bends down places her lips on his and fills the tiny lungs with air, turns her head to check if air is coming out, and still nothing. A frantic Sabur looks down to a see a midget hand pop up from behind the woman with a thumbs up. Sabur smiles, as the woman then places her mouth on the Lil Dick (sorry that was an accident weather you believe it or not) any way her mouth is on Sabur's Lil Dick and shes blows (HA!) air into his lil lungs again, he then grabs her head and rams his tongue down her throat. The woman leaps up in a pissed off manor as Sabur's Lil Dick lays there lifeless, and then a bell tolls Bum-Bum!, and the Lil Dick sits up in an Undertaker type fashion.
Sabur: HE's alive....My Lil Dick is alive.......
Lil Dick tries to stand and then falls flat on his back once again.
Sabur: Ohh Shit he's stopped breathing again, help him.
Female Medic: Bull shit I'm not putting my mouth on your Lil Dick again, he was swiming around in my mouth with his tongue like a goldfish searching for food, I'm not falling for it again.
The medics pack up their stuff and walk off.
Sabur: Hey Dick, she left, and she's not mouthing you again.
Lil Dick jumps to his feet, clicking his heels together like a lepracaun (somehow I feel like that has been done before), Sabur hugs his Lil Dick, and then kneels down to his level.
Sabur: What happened to you?
Lil Dick: The Lion almost got his ass handed to him, I really was laying into him, giving him a piece of my mini Kendo Stick, and then he caught me with a lucky shot.
Sabur: No mans Dick is more rugged then my Lil Dick. Lets go, I have an idea.
A bit later the Lion walks backstage from his in ring appearence. He leaves the curtain area followed by his mother. The Livley family makes their way down the hall possibly heading back to their locker room to engage in a little incestual pre match warm up (Just a Guess). Just then, two bolo's come flying out and wrap around each of the Lively's feet, tripping them up. Followed then by a loud C0 2 type cannon, blasting off as a net flies out covering the Lively Duo. Sabur comes out with the cannon in hand.
Sabur: Well, Well what do we have here, a boy and his premescuos mother, by the way Ms. Lively nice tits, and Michael, Michael I'm ashamed of you. You are the last person I thought would preform a sneak attack, and now your running in on other matches, soon you will be a full fledged wrestling loon. This Jesus thing must really be fucking with, I mean you have totally gone to the dark side. I saw it happen to Anikin Skywalker, and now you. Embracing the darkside is a pretty pathetic thing even for you, it must be because of your daddy issues.
The Lion becomes enraged flailing around inside the net.
Sabur: What we don't want to talk about your daddy, the man inprissoned for dealing drugs, couldn't get his shit together to be responsible and step up to fatherhood, nope running the streets was better then coming home to look at his shitbag of a child. Well lets just say our friendship just may be over, and now as a return of the lil suprise you have just given me, here to ya kid, Lil Dick back the truck up.
Lil Dick backs up a pint sized cement truck, but this cement truck isn't filled with the product that normally fills cement trucks, this one is chock full of the product Liquid Ass, availible at LiquidAss.com, a horribly disgusting product, the shear smell of this in small dose will choke a person into a gaging fit as the feal like their are swallowing human fecal matter, great for all ribs and practical jokes.
Sabur: Lil Dick give it to him.
Lil Dick then lets loose the Liquid ass as it flows down the shoot splashing all over the Lion and his mother.
Lion: Not LIQUID ASS!!!
Sabur laughs uncontrolably then begins the gag from the disgusting smell.
Sabur: Dick lets get out of here.
Sabur and his Lil Dick run off leaving the Lively duo and the mess behind as the run for shelter from the horrid stench. Sabur then makes his way out of the arena jumps into a car with his Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: Where are we going?
Sabur: Cooters!
Lil Dick: Is that a Tennesse version of Hooters? cause I love hooters almost as much as I love cooter.
Sabur: Calm down you sexually charged falic piece of shit, Cooters is a Dukes of Hazzard Muesuem, they have all the good shit from the Dukes of Hazzard from when I was younger.
Lil Dick: Dukes of Hazard? Nice I'm learning so much about American culture, first Knight Rider, then Thindercats, and now Dukes Of Hazard, I love you big guy.
The two pull up in front of the orange building, and park the rental car.Just outside the door is parked a 69 Charger known as the General Lee.
Sabur: Lil Dick that is the General Lee, the baddest car in all of Hazard County.
Lil Dick: It wouldn't happened to be named after the famous Confederate General Robert E. Lee from the Civil war, would it?
Sabur: Hell no I think they have an uncle named Lee, and as tribute to him...awhh fuck I don't know lets go inside and check the shit out.
The two walk in and tour around the musseum looking at the history of the Dukes, as the finish with their tour Sabur goes to the gift shop to purchases him and his Lil Dick matching 01 shirts. The cashier looks down at Lil Dick, and smiles. The Dick responds to the lady by grabbing his Lil package. Her eyes get wide, and Sabur notices what is going on.
Sabur: Hey darlin, you give me the keys to the store in the two of you can go in the back and well you know, I'll handle your overwhelming flow of customers.
Sabur, Lil Dick, and the cashier look around to see no one but them in the stor. Then the horny young women hands Sabur the keys to the store, as she grabs Lil Dick by the hand taking him in the back. Just before Lil Dick dissapears to the back he looks back at Sabur with a bug thumbs up.
Sabur: Go get it buddy.
A about five minutes later Sabur runs outside slides into the Genral Lee through the window, he fires the Dixie horn as out runs Lil Dick with his new Dukes shirt and his tiny osh gosh b'gosh jean in hand. His bottom expossed, as third arm is flapping all the way to the General. Lil Dick leaps like superman through the window as the store clerk is chassing him. The Duo blow off the horn once again and make their way to the arena in the stolen General Lee.
Sabur: Man my Lil Dick gets all the action
LiL Dick: What can you say, I'm into everything....HA! get it.
Sabur: NO.
There is silence as the two continue their drive, and pull up at the arena. The two climb out of the car through the windows.
Sabur: Hey watch this, I'm gonna show you a Bo Duke hood slide.
Sabur backs up a few steps charges like the large cow his is, leaps in the air and crashes righ down in the center of the hood denting it in and not really slidding much. Sabur scoots off the hood.
Lil Dick: Wow what was the purpose of that?
Sabur: Shut up!
The two walk into the arena backstage area to find a hazmatt crew cleaning up the mess they left behind. Sabur smiles toward his Lil Dick as the two makes theor way toward the entrance ramp. Sabur grabs a mic as the arena is full and awaiting the next segment of APW. The scene then change from backstage to inside the arena to see lots of fans chattering with eachother as they wait in anticpation.
"MOOOOO!" rings out as then fans erupt with cheers, looking toward the entrance ramp still seeing nothing.
"Tennesee" As the fans erupt from the cheap pop sabur just achieved.
Sabur makes his way out from the curtain, out on the rampway, met by the screaming fans. Sabur looks out at the crowd making a weird face as he attempts a Peoples Eyebrow but fails to achieve that, only accomplishing a weird squint toward the fans. The music stops and Sabur holds his arm out adjusting his 01 Dukes shirt sleeve, then bends his elbow holding the mic to his face.
"Finnally the Hammer comes back to the United States" the fans then cheer and laugh at the Rock Mockery.
Sabur: What up, it's your boy Sabur I how you fealing Cash-ville, you may not know this but I was brutally attacked earlier this evening, and given a Godly warning, but fuck that if it's war the Lion wants then I going into the Jungle to kick the shit out of the king himself. Lively I'm hyped up to lock horns with you, and we will settle our dilema of just who is the better in ring competor, so in the tag match watch your back cause I still owe you a knife in the back in return for the one given to me, and I'm not the type of person to recieve a gift and not repay the gesture, so just be prepared. Ms. Lively you might want ease up a bit as well, you keep poking that ass around and you might just end up with something unexepected poking back if you get my drift. So now on to the others Dianna, Dianna if there is one thing I learned from my dealing with you, it's not to take you lightly. You are a talented woman in the ring, and a serious threat when it comes to this game of wrestling, but you know I'm still uneducated in one fact, and that is you are still fucking hot.....
The crowd laughs as Sabur is usaully focussed on the women, even if the same is not returned.
Sabur: Why are you trying to get hurt lil lady, and the Spirit, Tara Jacobs there is something really different about her, I mean she looks a little tuffer now, maybe its the dark hair, or the beefed up thighs, oh she trimmed the adams apple down, anyway her and Dianna are stepping into a mans world and they have proved that they belong there, so good luck ladies, and what a fitting match, Sex and Violence vs three CoK bitches.
The fans cheer the Irish Hammer as he insults Lively again.
Sabur: And before I'm done, lets us discuss the CoK, you know I"m the inovator of pennis jokes here. And when did it become cool to spout off about how big your Cok is, no sir, having a Lil Dick is what it's all about, and my Lil Dick is Up All Night Long...ohhhhh!!! So ladies put down the large Cok, and rock a Lil Dick. Size doesn't matter, as long as you're poking the pie!!!
The crowd cheers Sabur as he is up to his usual antics, Sabur drops the mic and heads back stage.
Sabur: HELP!! MY Lil DICK is OUT COLD!!!! HELP!!!!
A member of the ring crew heres the cries for help and calls on his radio for the medical crew. Soon a medical team arrives. The man sets down a bag of equiptment as the female medic secures the Lil mans neck with a brace for precaution. She then checks to see if he is breathing, and nothing.
Female Medic: I need to recisatate him.
She then bends down places her lips on his and fills the tiny lungs with air, turns her head to check if air is coming out, and still nothing. A frantic Sabur looks down to a see a midget hand pop up from behind the woman with a thumbs up. Sabur smiles, as the woman then places her mouth on the Lil Dick (sorry that was an accident weather you believe it or not) any way her mouth is on Sabur's Lil Dick and shes blows (HA!) air into his lil lungs again, he then grabs her head and rams his tongue down her throat. The woman leaps up in a pissed off manor as Sabur's Lil Dick lays there lifeless, and then a bell tolls Bum-Bum!, and the Lil Dick sits up in an Undertaker type fashion.
Sabur: HE's alive....My Lil Dick is alive.......
Lil Dick tries to stand and then falls flat on his back once again.
Sabur: Ohh Shit he's stopped breathing again, help him.
Female Medic: Bull shit I'm not putting my mouth on your Lil Dick again, he was swiming around in my mouth with his tongue like a goldfish searching for food, I'm not falling for it again.
The medics pack up their stuff and walk off.
Sabur: Hey Dick, she left, and she's not mouthing you again.
Lil Dick jumps to his feet, clicking his heels together like a lepracaun (somehow I feel like that has been done before), Sabur hugs his Lil Dick, and then kneels down to his level.
Sabur: What happened to you?
Lil Dick: The Lion almost got his ass handed to him, I really was laying into him, giving him a piece of my mini Kendo Stick, and then he caught me with a lucky shot.
Sabur: No mans Dick is more rugged then my Lil Dick. Lets go, I have an idea.
A bit later the Lion walks backstage from his in ring appearence. He leaves the curtain area followed by his mother. The Livley family makes their way down the hall possibly heading back to their locker room to engage in a little incestual pre match warm up (Just a Guess). Just then, two bolo's come flying out and wrap around each of the Lively's feet, tripping them up. Followed then by a loud C0 2 type cannon, blasting off as a net flies out covering the Lively Duo. Sabur comes out with the cannon in hand.
Sabur: Well, Well what do we have here, a boy and his premescuos mother, by the way Ms. Lively nice tits, and Michael, Michael I'm ashamed of you. You are the last person I thought would preform a sneak attack, and now your running in on other matches, soon you will be a full fledged wrestling loon. This Jesus thing must really be fucking with, I mean you have totally gone to the dark side. I saw it happen to Anikin Skywalker, and now you. Embracing the darkside is a pretty pathetic thing even for you, it must be because of your daddy issues.
The Lion becomes enraged flailing around inside the net.
Sabur: What we don't want to talk about your daddy, the man inprissoned for dealing drugs, couldn't get his shit together to be responsible and step up to fatherhood, nope running the streets was better then coming home to look at his shitbag of a child. Well lets just say our friendship just may be over, and now as a return of the lil suprise you have just given me, here to ya kid, Lil Dick back the truck up.
Lil Dick backs up a pint sized cement truck, but this cement truck isn't filled with the product that normally fills cement trucks, this one is chock full of the product Liquid Ass, availible at LiquidAss.com, a horribly disgusting product, the shear smell of this in small dose will choke a person into a gaging fit as the feal like their are swallowing human fecal matter, great for all ribs and practical jokes.
Sabur: Lil Dick give it to him.
Lil Dick then lets loose the Liquid ass as it flows down the shoot splashing all over the Lion and his mother.
Lion: Not LIQUID ASS!!!
Sabur laughs uncontrolably then begins the gag from the disgusting smell.
Sabur: Dick lets get out of here.
Sabur and his Lil Dick run off leaving the Lively duo and the mess behind as the run for shelter from the horrid stench. Sabur then makes his way out of the arena jumps into a car with his Lil Dick.
Lil Dick: Where are we going?
Sabur: Cooters!
Lil Dick: Is that a Tennesse version of Hooters? cause I love hooters almost as much as I love cooter.
Sabur: Calm down you sexually charged falic piece of shit, Cooters is a Dukes of Hazzard Muesuem, they have all the good shit from the Dukes of Hazzard from when I was younger.
Lil Dick: Dukes of Hazard? Nice I'm learning so much about American culture, first Knight Rider, then Thindercats, and now Dukes Of Hazard, I love you big guy.
The two pull up in front of the orange building, and park the rental car.Just outside the door is parked a 69 Charger known as the General Lee.
Sabur: Lil Dick that is the General Lee, the baddest car in all of Hazard County.
Lil Dick: It wouldn't happened to be named after the famous Confederate General Robert E. Lee from the Civil war, would it?
Sabur: Hell no I think they have an uncle named Lee, and as tribute to him...awhh fuck I don't know lets go inside and check the shit out.
The two walk in and tour around the musseum looking at the history of the Dukes, as the finish with their tour Sabur goes to the gift shop to purchases him and his Lil Dick matching 01 shirts. The cashier looks down at Lil Dick, and smiles. The Dick responds to the lady by grabbing his Lil package. Her eyes get wide, and Sabur notices what is going on.
Sabur: Hey darlin, you give me the keys to the store in the two of you can go in the back and well you know, I'll handle your overwhelming flow of customers.
Sabur, Lil Dick, and the cashier look around to see no one but them in the stor. Then the horny young women hands Sabur the keys to the store, as she grabs Lil Dick by the hand taking him in the back. Just before Lil Dick dissapears to the back he looks back at Sabur with a bug thumbs up.
Sabur: Go get it buddy.
A about five minutes later Sabur runs outside slides into the Genral Lee through the window, he fires the Dixie horn as out runs Lil Dick with his new Dukes shirt and his tiny osh gosh b'gosh jean in hand. His bottom expossed, as third arm is flapping all the way to the General. Lil Dick leaps like superman through the window as the store clerk is chassing him. The Duo blow off the horn once again and make their way to the arena in the stolen General Lee.
Sabur: Man my Lil Dick gets all the action
LiL Dick: What can you say, I'm into everything....HA! get it.
Sabur: NO.
There is silence as the two continue their drive, and pull up at the arena. The two climb out of the car through the windows.
Sabur: Hey watch this, I'm gonna show you a Bo Duke hood slide.
Sabur backs up a few steps charges like the large cow his is, leaps in the air and crashes righ down in the center of the hood denting it in and not really slidding much. Sabur scoots off the hood.
Lil Dick: Wow what was the purpose of that?
Sabur: Shut up!
The two walk into the arena backstage area to find a hazmatt crew cleaning up the mess they left behind. Sabur smiles toward his Lil Dick as the two makes theor way toward the entrance ramp. Sabur grabs a mic as the arena is full and awaiting the next segment of APW. The scene then change from backstage to inside the arena to see lots of fans chattering with eachother as they wait in anticpation.
"MOOOOO!" rings out as then fans erupt with cheers, looking toward the entrance ramp still seeing nothing.
"Tennesee" As the fans erupt from the cheap pop sabur just achieved.
Sabur makes his way out from the curtain, out on the rampway, met by the screaming fans. Sabur looks out at the crowd making a weird face as he attempts a Peoples Eyebrow but fails to achieve that, only accomplishing a weird squint toward the fans. The music stops and Sabur holds his arm out adjusting his 01 Dukes shirt sleeve, then bends his elbow holding the mic to his face.
"Finnally the Hammer comes back to the United States" the fans then cheer and laugh at the Rock Mockery.
Sabur: What up, it's your boy Sabur I how you fealing Cash-ville, you may not know this but I was brutally attacked earlier this evening, and given a Godly warning, but fuck that if it's war the Lion wants then I going into the Jungle to kick the shit out of the king himself. Lively I'm hyped up to lock horns with you, and we will settle our dilema of just who is the better in ring competor, so in the tag match watch your back cause I still owe you a knife in the back in return for the one given to me, and I'm not the type of person to recieve a gift and not repay the gesture, so just be prepared. Ms. Lively you might want ease up a bit as well, you keep poking that ass around and you might just end up with something unexepected poking back if you get my drift. So now on to the others Dianna, Dianna if there is one thing I learned from my dealing with you, it's not to take you lightly. You are a talented woman in the ring, and a serious threat when it comes to this game of wrestling, but you know I'm still uneducated in one fact, and that is you are still fucking hot.....
The crowd laughs as Sabur is usaully focussed on the women, even if the same is not returned.
Sabur: Why are you trying to get hurt lil lady, and the Spirit, Tara Jacobs there is something really different about her, I mean she looks a little tuffer now, maybe its the dark hair, or the beefed up thighs, oh she trimmed the adams apple down, anyway her and Dianna are stepping into a mans world and they have proved that they belong there, so good luck ladies, and what a fitting match, Sex and Violence vs three CoK bitches.
The fans cheer the Irish Hammer as he insults Lively again.
Sabur: And before I'm done, lets us discuss the CoK, you know I"m the inovator of pennis jokes here. And when did it become cool to spout off about how big your Cok is, no sir, having a Lil Dick is what it's all about, and my Lil Dick is Up All Night Long...ohhhhh!!! So ladies put down the large Cok, and rock a Lil Dick. Size doesn't matter, as long as you're poking the pie!!!
The crowd cheers Sabur as he is up to his usual antics, Sabur drops the mic and heads back stage.
