Post by Varga Zodd on Mar 2, 2008 0:26:27 GMT -4
As of this very moment, there are thirteen of us scheduled to show up for the Battle Royal in Barre, Vermont on Monday night's Overdrive.
Eleven men. Two women.
Four members of Sex and Violence that seem to believe that the numbers game is in their favor. Perhaps in a completely literal sort of way, they're right. Otherwise, Kristina and Tony Blackwell, along with Fyre Angel and Kenny Lombardi - whom I hear is the son of Steve Lombardi and wrestles with just as much talent as his Brooklyn Brawler father - are all in for a rude awakening when a battle royal of thirteen people overwhelms their supposedly superior numbers.
The best number of allies to have in a match like this one is one.
Just have one guy to watch your back and make sure that you do likewise for him. With myself and the Hardcore Kid in the battle royal to determine who gets the shot at John Green's APW World Championship, nobody that's not beaten Green in a tag-team match in Action Packed Wrestling is going to stand a chance.
I'm confused at why Razor Ryan claims to like Canadian winters. I've been in Barre, Vermont only for an hour and already I'm sick of the slushy shit all over the roads and the cold weather. Even the gym that I've found to work out in is frigid and with every rep of weight, I can see my own breath.
"Ninety-eight... ninety-nine... one hundred."[/color]
I put the bar back on the forks of the bench and sit up. The Hardcore Kid tosses me a towel and I wipe the perspiration off my forehead with it.
"Vinnie, you notice that Sex an' Violence are going to be working as a team of four to win the battle royal?"[/color]
"Yeah, I heard them rambling about something like that. Then the Xorcist..."[/color]
"Xtremist, you mean."[/color]
The Hardcore Kid has a mind like a sponge and picks up on everything that I've taught him over these past few weeks in Action Packed Wrestling. Occasionally, however, he misses the point.
"Whatever. Tony Blackball tells the world that they're setting up Kenny Kaos or whomever the guy is to win. Seriously, Tony, I think you're shaving your head a little too close to the gray matter there, pal."
"When you're in this kind of match, with the stakes as high as they are, you don't pussy out to anybody, I don't care who they are or who they think they are. When given an opportunity to headline a major event like Rasslemania IV by going for the APW World Championship, you take it."
"You don't give it up to someone else, I don't care if the guy's your best friend and you owe him for banging his sister and his girlfriend in a threesome the night before. Do you think I'm going to let the Hardcore Kid take me out of this match and take away my opportunity?"[/color]
"Vin-man, you don't stand a chance against me anyhow, big guy."[/color]
Have I mentioned yet how much I love this Kid's attitude?
"Don't get me wrong, the Kid and I will be working like a well-oiled machine in the battle royal to eliminate guys left, right and center. He knows that if I see an opportunity to deposit him on the floor outside the ring I'll be taking it. I expect the same from him."
"Aside from Sex and Violence - whom I'll come back to later on - there are a few guys that haven't bothered to even make their voices heard. Just because you're scheduled in a match against Vinnie HaRdCoRe, boys, don't be afraid to show up. John Green stepped up against me last week at Carnage and look how well he fared!"
"Dream, Basten and Locke, the three of you can consider yourselves officially beneath the notice of Team HaRdCoRe. The Kid and I aren't even going to waste our time in dealing with any of you until you get in our faces and make general nuisances of yourselves."
"'Iceman' Jason Royce, with the Kid and I in this match-up, you've truly got nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Your best chance at winning with the battle royal is to drop a large sum of money on my name to win. At least then you're only a partial loser and you'll have plenty of money to cushion it when reality comes crashing down around you."[/color]
Everytime I hear the name of the next guy I'm going to blast verbally before giving him a taste of the physicality in the battle royal, I laugh. I can't help myself. That song "When the Children Cry" was pathetic. An ex-girlfriend of mine back in high school - yeah, I just aged myself, big deal - used to record songs for me on cassette and that White Lion tune was on almost all of them. She was a better lay than Ms. Lively, though, I must confess.
"Mikey, Mikey, Mikey... White Lion? Seriously, man, do yourself a favor next time you're picking a gimmik name for yourself and wiki it. Mike Tramp and his merry band of glam-rockers barely made it out of working clubs for fifty bucks a night. If it weren't for Warrant, Crüe and Skid Row, that whole genre of music wouldn't even be an amusing anecdote."
"But I digress. You did actually say something intelligent between your bouts of wet dream regarding your mom and Hurricane Jeff. You said that in order to win this battle royal, you'd need eyes in the back of your head. That's where the Hardcore Kid and I come into this. I know he's got my back and he can rest assured that I've got his... at least until one of us sees an opening to oust the other and go on to win the match, the number one contendership, the glory and the title shot against John Green at RassleMania IV."
"Razor Ryan... aside from recycling old garbage from some drunk that's likely passed out in an alley somewhere in Cuba right now surrounded by his own toothpicks, what are you supposed to be? I mean really, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but when you're trying to flatter a drunk, it shows how pathetic you have become. I can dig wanting to stand up and show props for your homeland. Hell, nobody is a bigger proponent of Las Vegas than yours truly."
"The deal is, there's no comparison between hockey and pro wrestling. Neither Gretzky nor Sid the Kid could last ten seconds against... who's the worst wrestler I can think of... Jason Royce. Yeah, you Canadians might know how to raise hockey players, but who cares? Like most Americans, I don't bother watching hockey, it's a niche sport with a handful of followers here in the United States and a country that borders on fanaticism. If you're under the impression you can use this battle royal as a stepping stone, you're wrong. Dead wrong."[/color]
Surveying the gym, I decide to give my heart a workout by climbing onto a stationary bike and pedalling like the Devil himself is chasing me.
"Vinnie, what the Hell is Sabur going to do with a midget?"[/color]
The Hardcore Kid doesn't even bother to hide the smirk on his face as thoughts bordering on the perverse flood his mind.
"Like the man said, it's all about his new gimmik."
"Of course, when you have to freshen up your gimmik after only a few weeks in any organization, you know that you're ultimately destined to failure. Both myself and the Kid here aren't worried about our gimmik. We live by our monikers each and every day. The Irish Ham-and-Egger wants to show off his little dick, that's fine by me. I'm game for new weapons and if it's a Dick waving contest that Sabur wants, I'll not only wave little Richard the Russian dwarf at him, I'll beat him to death with his own midget."
"Word of advice, Sabur - keep your little Dick to yourself."[/color]
As much as I manage to keep a straight-face, I'm laughing on the inside. The Kid, however, can't contain himself quite as easily as I'm able to. One of the rewards of having spent a decade in this business.
"I guess that brings me full-circle to the K, K, K and Tony. That's Kristina, Kenny and Kalayla, not the Ku Klux Klan - although both are groups of reactionary fools."[/color]
Despite not being of African-American descent, I can definitely sympathize with victims of racism, being half caucasian and half Chinese myself.
"Sex and Violence are going to work together for the common good until that common good doesn't jive with their own visions of RassleMania. Tony's already decreed that he will set Kenny up as a figurehead for the group. Dude, Lombardi and you are going to be targets one and two in Team Hardcore's sights. Then the chicks are going down - and I don't mean in a good way."
"Kristina and Fyre Angel really have nothing to offer in the way of a challenge to me or the Kid and will be easily ousted from the ring."[/color]
The Hardcore Kid nods, agreeing with everything that's been said about everyone else.
"That leaves only one man to take care of."[/color]
"Who's that?"[/color]
"You."[/color]
"Oh."[/color]
"We've worked together a lot over these last few weeks, Kid, but I'm itching for that rematch against John Green. He forced me to tap out by focusing on the shoulder I hurt when I powerbombed him off the side of the cell through the announce table. Smart move on his behalf."
"He's not going to be able to get the better of me at RassleMania IV, though."
"I know that you're hoping to be the one to pull the APW World Championship from around Green's waist, Kid, but you're going to have plenty of opportunities throughout your career. With the career I've led... with all that I've put my body through over the past ten years... this run could very well be my last."
"Twelve opponents, just remember that HaRdCoRe is my Name... my Game... and my Claim to Fame."[/color]
I'm going to enjoy kicking all of their asses on Monday night...
Eleven men. Two women.
Four members of Sex and Violence that seem to believe that the numbers game is in their favor. Perhaps in a completely literal sort of way, they're right. Otherwise, Kristina and Tony Blackwell, along with Fyre Angel and Kenny Lombardi - whom I hear is the son of Steve Lombardi and wrestles with just as much talent as his Brooklyn Brawler father - are all in for a rude awakening when a battle royal of thirteen people overwhelms their supposedly superior numbers.
The best number of allies to have in a match like this one is one.
Just have one guy to watch your back and make sure that you do likewise for him. With myself and the Hardcore Kid in the battle royal to determine who gets the shot at John Green's APW World Championship, nobody that's not beaten Green in a tag-team match in Action Packed Wrestling is going to stand a chance.
I'm confused at why Razor Ryan claims to like Canadian winters. I've been in Barre, Vermont only for an hour and already I'm sick of the slushy shit all over the roads and the cold weather. Even the gym that I've found to work out in is frigid and with every rep of weight, I can see my own breath.
"Ninety-eight... ninety-nine... one hundred."[/color]
I put the bar back on the forks of the bench and sit up. The Hardcore Kid tosses me a towel and I wipe the perspiration off my forehead with it.
"Vinnie, you notice that Sex an' Violence are going to be working as a team of four to win the battle royal?"[/color]
"Yeah, I heard them rambling about something like that. Then the Xorcist..."[/color]
"Xtremist, you mean."[/color]
The Hardcore Kid has a mind like a sponge and picks up on everything that I've taught him over these past few weeks in Action Packed Wrestling. Occasionally, however, he misses the point.
"Whatever. Tony Blackball tells the world that they're setting up Kenny Kaos or whomever the guy is to win. Seriously, Tony, I think you're shaving your head a little too close to the gray matter there, pal."
"When you're in this kind of match, with the stakes as high as they are, you don't pussy out to anybody, I don't care who they are or who they think they are. When given an opportunity to headline a major event like Rasslemania IV by going for the APW World Championship, you take it."
"You don't give it up to someone else, I don't care if the guy's your best friend and you owe him for banging his sister and his girlfriend in a threesome the night before. Do you think I'm going to let the Hardcore Kid take me out of this match and take away my opportunity?"[/color]
"Vin-man, you don't stand a chance against me anyhow, big guy."[/color]
Have I mentioned yet how much I love this Kid's attitude?
"Don't get me wrong, the Kid and I will be working like a well-oiled machine in the battle royal to eliminate guys left, right and center. He knows that if I see an opportunity to deposit him on the floor outside the ring I'll be taking it. I expect the same from him."
"Aside from Sex and Violence - whom I'll come back to later on - there are a few guys that haven't bothered to even make their voices heard. Just because you're scheduled in a match against Vinnie HaRdCoRe, boys, don't be afraid to show up. John Green stepped up against me last week at Carnage and look how well he fared!"
"Dream, Basten and Locke, the three of you can consider yourselves officially beneath the notice of Team HaRdCoRe. The Kid and I aren't even going to waste our time in dealing with any of you until you get in our faces and make general nuisances of yourselves."
"'Iceman' Jason Royce, with the Kid and I in this match-up, you've truly got nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Your best chance at winning with the battle royal is to drop a large sum of money on my name to win. At least then you're only a partial loser and you'll have plenty of money to cushion it when reality comes crashing down around you."[/color]
Everytime I hear the name of the next guy I'm going to blast verbally before giving him a taste of the physicality in the battle royal, I laugh. I can't help myself. That song "When the Children Cry" was pathetic. An ex-girlfriend of mine back in high school - yeah, I just aged myself, big deal - used to record songs for me on cassette and that White Lion tune was on almost all of them. She was a better lay than Ms. Lively, though, I must confess.
"Mikey, Mikey, Mikey... White Lion? Seriously, man, do yourself a favor next time you're picking a gimmik name for yourself and wiki it. Mike Tramp and his merry band of glam-rockers barely made it out of working clubs for fifty bucks a night. If it weren't for Warrant, Crüe and Skid Row, that whole genre of music wouldn't even be an amusing anecdote."
"But I digress. You did actually say something intelligent between your bouts of wet dream regarding your mom and Hurricane Jeff. You said that in order to win this battle royal, you'd need eyes in the back of your head. That's where the Hardcore Kid and I come into this. I know he's got my back and he can rest assured that I've got his... at least until one of us sees an opening to oust the other and go on to win the match, the number one contendership, the glory and the title shot against John Green at RassleMania IV."
"Razor Ryan... aside from recycling old garbage from some drunk that's likely passed out in an alley somewhere in Cuba right now surrounded by his own toothpicks, what are you supposed to be? I mean really, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but when you're trying to flatter a drunk, it shows how pathetic you have become. I can dig wanting to stand up and show props for your homeland. Hell, nobody is a bigger proponent of Las Vegas than yours truly."
"The deal is, there's no comparison between hockey and pro wrestling. Neither Gretzky nor Sid the Kid could last ten seconds against... who's the worst wrestler I can think of... Jason Royce. Yeah, you Canadians might know how to raise hockey players, but who cares? Like most Americans, I don't bother watching hockey, it's a niche sport with a handful of followers here in the United States and a country that borders on fanaticism. If you're under the impression you can use this battle royal as a stepping stone, you're wrong. Dead wrong."[/color]
Surveying the gym, I decide to give my heart a workout by climbing onto a stationary bike and pedalling like the Devil himself is chasing me.
"Vinnie, what the Hell is Sabur going to do with a midget?"[/color]
The Hardcore Kid doesn't even bother to hide the smirk on his face as thoughts bordering on the perverse flood his mind.
"Like the man said, it's all about his new gimmik."
"Of course, when you have to freshen up your gimmik after only a few weeks in any organization, you know that you're ultimately destined to failure. Both myself and the Kid here aren't worried about our gimmik. We live by our monikers each and every day. The Irish Ham-and-Egger wants to show off his little dick, that's fine by me. I'm game for new weapons and if it's a Dick waving contest that Sabur wants, I'll not only wave little Richard the Russian dwarf at him, I'll beat him to death with his own midget."
"Word of advice, Sabur - keep your little Dick to yourself."[/color]
As much as I manage to keep a straight-face, I'm laughing on the inside. The Kid, however, can't contain himself quite as easily as I'm able to. One of the rewards of having spent a decade in this business.
"I guess that brings me full-circle to the K, K, K and Tony. That's Kristina, Kenny and Kalayla, not the Ku Klux Klan - although both are groups of reactionary fools."[/color]
Despite not being of African-American descent, I can definitely sympathize with victims of racism, being half caucasian and half Chinese myself.
"Sex and Violence are going to work together for the common good until that common good doesn't jive with their own visions of RassleMania. Tony's already decreed that he will set Kenny up as a figurehead for the group. Dude, Lombardi and you are going to be targets one and two in Team Hardcore's sights. Then the chicks are going down - and I don't mean in a good way."
"Kristina and Fyre Angel really have nothing to offer in the way of a challenge to me or the Kid and will be easily ousted from the ring."[/color]
The Hardcore Kid nods, agreeing with everything that's been said about everyone else.
"That leaves only one man to take care of."[/color]
"Who's that?"[/color]
"You."[/color]
"Oh."[/color]
"We've worked together a lot over these last few weeks, Kid, but I'm itching for that rematch against John Green. He forced me to tap out by focusing on the shoulder I hurt when I powerbombed him off the side of the cell through the announce table. Smart move on his behalf."
"He's not going to be able to get the better of me at RassleMania IV, though."
"I know that you're hoping to be the one to pull the APW World Championship from around Green's waist, Kid, but you're going to have plenty of opportunities throughout your career. With the career I've led... with all that I've put my body through over the past ten years... this run could very well be my last."
"Twelve opponents, just remember that HaRdCoRe is my Name... my Game... and my Claim to Fame."[/color]
I'm going to enjoy kicking all of their asses on Monday night...
