Post by Varga Zodd on Mar 9, 2008 16:09:28 GMT -4
What a blast!
Last week's Battle Royal was a hell of a lot of fun, let me tell you. Possibly the best part was showing up those ass-weeds Sex and Violence. They figured the numbers game was all in their favor. Four of them against the rest of us. Little did they realize that Team HaRdCoRe - that's The Hardcore Kid and myself - kick more ass than any of them could even dream of.
And we're original.
Smack dab in the heart of the City that couldn't get it done. First, the Boston Bruins pick up the most boring staple in all of hockey with the trap and bore their fans to tears. Not to mention, it's a trap that doesn't even work for them most the time. Then of course, the shoo-in team to win this year's Super Bowl, the New England Patriots.
Oh, wait a minute. They choked! In the biggest game of the year... with the highest television rating of any special event... Tom Brady's band of merry men managed to lose a game for the first time last season.
Tomorrow night, that's Monday to all you illiterate Bostonians, Action Packed Wrestling invades the TD Banknorth Garden. With five matches scheduled for the show, most of the fans are going to be tuning in to only two of them while they yawn their way through matches involving people no one would honestly pay money to see.
Sex and Violence and Revolution X, in particular.
The Boston fans will get a special treat, however, as Team HaRdCoRe show up on their doorstep to provide two matches which will keep them on the edges of their seats.
If only because Vinnie and the Kid are going to carry their opponents to entertaining contests.
The two of us have painted this town red over the last four days and nights, showing Boston what a couple of Las Vegas boys can do when it comes to partying. Fast booze and easy women. Those are just two of the things that Team HaRdCoRe enjoys.
Another is destroying anyone that stands in our way.
Right now, we're checking out the locker room assigned to us in the TD Banknorth Garden. Considering there are only the two of us, I'm surprised that we warranted a full hockey locker room - even if it is the one slated for the visiting team.
"Kid, did you sit through that entire load of crap spewed out by D-Gen... er, Sex and Violence the other day? To be honest, I fell asleep while they were ripping off Jackass and then woke up when they were plagiarizing D-X before I simply turned that tripe off."[/color]
"Can't say I was able to last all the way through. Once the three stooges had shaved their ball-sacks, I couldn't stomach it anymore."[/color]
"You turned off the TV, then?"[/color]
"Well... actually, I grabbed a baseball bat and within a minute, there was nothing left that even resembled a television."[/color]
"Good thing I slept through it, then. I'd hate to have had to out-do you on that one."[/color]
Especially since I ousted my own partner from the Battle Royal, putting myself in a bad two against me situation - but I did come out ahead in that one.
A refrigerator has been set up in one corner of the locker room and I cross over to it, pulling it open and pulling out a Xyience Xenergy drink. I toss it to the Kid and snag another for myself. There's a flat-screen LCD monitor beside the fridge looping a video of the hottest hottie to ever be hot:
Damn.
The things I'm going to do to Monica when I meet her aren't even legal in seventy-four countries!
"Ahhhh! This stuff's the real deal. Forget about that Monster shit that Sex and Violins are drinkin'. Xyience is where it's at."[/color]
"I thought you said you didn't watch those guys?"[/color]
"I wasn't. Couldn't avoid watching the girls when the replay showed. Lots of H L A, if you know what I mean."[/color]
The Hardcore Kid jabbed my ribs conspiratorially with his elbow. To be honest, I thought the display was overdone - but it did take one's attention away from the piss-poor parody of a couple of the greatest entertainers to ever strap on wrestling boots.
"Let me cut to the chase, Kenneth."
"Twice now, I've managed to walk out of a pay-per-view event without the APW World Championship that I went in after. At both Carnage and New Year's Retribution, Vinnie HaRdCoRe was in the thick of the battle for the biggest prize in this company."
"Have you ever heard the cliché 'The third time's the charm'? Not only is it more than a simple turn of phrase, it's a hard and fast law of nature. Much like gravity. What goes up, must come down."
"Last Monday night, Kenneth, the entire world saw that I beat you in the Battle Royal. Plainly, I clotheslined your tie-dyed as..."[/color]
"Uh, Vinnie... Lombardo wears camoflage, not tie-dye."[/color]
This Kid is going to grow into being a spectacular wrestler, but he's going to have to learn a bit more about the sweet science of tearing your opponent down a peg or two before ever setting foot across from him.
"As I was saying, Ken, the entire wrestling world is fully aware that both myself and The Hardcore Kid here humbled your little flock of cumquot-chewers. You had the numbers in your favor with two to one odds. Still, you couldn't do it. Hell, none of you could oust either of us from the match and had I not taken the opening with the Kid, it would've been he and I in the end."[/color]
"Instead, the Vin-man punked out both of you remaining bitches and won the match by eight one-thousandths of a second."[/color]
"Even if the camera wasn't able to pick up such a close result, I know who truly won. I know who John Green will be facing at Rasslemania for the APW World Championship."
"Most of all, I know that Kaos - much like the man who couldn't correctly spell the word - is on a collision course with a destiny that he doesn't want to have to face."
"Call yourself the 'Ego Crusher' and whatever other cutesy names you want, Ken, but when it all boils down, the only thing that matters is that I'm Vinnie HaRdCoRe... that's my Name, my Game and my Claim to Fame."[/color]
Hmmmmm, yeah, I've got something else to add before I go off the air.
"John Green - I'll see you at Rasslemania IV. Keep my belt shiny, would ya?"[/color]
Last week's Battle Royal was a hell of a lot of fun, let me tell you. Possibly the best part was showing up those ass-weeds Sex and Violence. They figured the numbers game was all in their favor. Four of them against the rest of us. Little did they realize that Team HaRdCoRe - that's The Hardcore Kid and myself - kick more ass than any of them could even dream of.
And we're original.
Smack dab in the heart of the City that couldn't get it done. First, the Boston Bruins pick up the most boring staple in all of hockey with the trap and bore their fans to tears. Not to mention, it's a trap that doesn't even work for them most the time. Then of course, the shoo-in team to win this year's Super Bowl, the New England Patriots.
Oh, wait a minute. They choked! In the biggest game of the year... with the highest television rating of any special event... Tom Brady's band of merry men managed to lose a game for the first time last season.
Tomorrow night, that's Monday to all you illiterate Bostonians, Action Packed Wrestling invades the TD Banknorth Garden. With five matches scheduled for the show, most of the fans are going to be tuning in to only two of them while they yawn their way through matches involving people no one would honestly pay money to see.
Sex and Violence and Revolution X, in particular.
The Boston fans will get a special treat, however, as Team HaRdCoRe show up on their doorstep to provide two matches which will keep them on the edges of their seats.
If only because Vinnie and the Kid are going to carry their opponents to entertaining contests.
The two of us have painted this town red over the last four days and nights, showing Boston what a couple of Las Vegas boys can do when it comes to partying. Fast booze and easy women. Those are just two of the things that Team HaRdCoRe enjoys.
Another is destroying anyone that stands in our way.
Right now, we're checking out the locker room assigned to us in the TD Banknorth Garden. Considering there are only the two of us, I'm surprised that we warranted a full hockey locker room - even if it is the one slated for the visiting team.
"Kid, did you sit through that entire load of crap spewed out by D-Gen... er, Sex and Violence the other day? To be honest, I fell asleep while they were ripping off Jackass and then woke up when they were plagiarizing D-X before I simply turned that tripe off."[/color]
"Can't say I was able to last all the way through. Once the three stooges had shaved their ball-sacks, I couldn't stomach it anymore."[/color]
"You turned off the TV, then?"[/color]
"Well... actually, I grabbed a baseball bat and within a minute, there was nothing left that even resembled a television."[/color]
"Good thing I slept through it, then. I'd hate to have had to out-do you on that one."[/color]
Especially since I ousted my own partner from the Battle Royal, putting myself in a bad two against me situation - but I did come out ahead in that one.
A refrigerator has been set up in one corner of the locker room and I cross over to it, pulling it open and pulling out a Xyience Xenergy drink. I toss it to the Kid and snag another for myself. There's a flat-screen LCD monitor beside the fridge looping a video of the hottest hottie to ever be hot:
Damn.
The things I'm going to do to Monica when I meet her aren't even legal in seventy-four countries!
"Ahhhh! This stuff's the real deal. Forget about that Monster shit that Sex and Violins are drinkin'. Xyience is where it's at."[/color]
"I thought you said you didn't watch those guys?"[/color]
"I wasn't. Couldn't avoid watching the girls when the replay showed. Lots of H L A, if you know what I mean."[/color]
The Hardcore Kid jabbed my ribs conspiratorially with his elbow. To be honest, I thought the display was overdone - but it did take one's attention away from the piss-poor parody of a couple of the greatest entertainers to ever strap on wrestling boots.
"Let me cut to the chase, Kenneth."
"Twice now, I've managed to walk out of a pay-per-view event without the APW World Championship that I went in after. At both Carnage and New Year's Retribution, Vinnie HaRdCoRe was in the thick of the battle for the biggest prize in this company."
"Have you ever heard the cliché 'The third time's the charm'? Not only is it more than a simple turn of phrase, it's a hard and fast law of nature. Much like gravity. What goes up, must come down."
"Last Monday night, Kenneth, the entire world saw that I beat you in the Battle Royal. Plainly, I clotheslined your tie-dyed as..."[/color]
"Uh, Vinnie... Lombardo wears camoflage, not tie-dye."[/color]
This Kid is going to grow into being a spectacular wrestler, but he's going to have to learn a bit more about the sweet science of tearing your opponent down a peg or two before ever setting foot across from him.
"As I was saying, Ken, the entire wrestling world is fully aware that both myself and The Hardcore Kid here humbled your little flock of cumquot-chewers. You had the numbers in your favor with two to one odds. Still, you couldn't do it. Hell, none of you could oust either of us from the match and had I not taken the opening with the Kid, it would've been he and I in the end."[/color]
"Instead, the Vin-man punked out both of you remaining bitches and won the match by eight one-thousandths of a second."[/color]
"Even if the camera wasn't able to pick up such a close result, I know who truly won. I know who John Green will be facing at Rasslemania for the APW World Championship."
"Most of all, I know that Kaos - much like the man who couldn't correctly spell the word - is on a collision course with a destiny that he doesn't want to have to face."
"Call yourself the 'Ego Crusher' and whatever other cutesy names you want, Ken, but when it all boils down, the only thing that matters is that I'm Vinnie HaRdCoRe... that's my Name, my Game and my Claim to Fame."[/color]
Hmmmmm, yeah, I've got something else to add before I go off the air.
"John Green - I'll see you at Rasslemania IV. Keep my belt shiny, would ya?"[/color]
