How you like me now, beetches?

["That Girl" Diana Lambardo]

When APW comes to screen we see Diana Steel in a booth wearing a large pair of ear mufflers. She was holding in her outstretched arms her prized Smith & Wesson small frame model 60 revolver. It was like her in so many ways, small but powerful. Stainless Steel, so beautiful yet it was mercilessly deadly in her hands. In the booth next to her was Kenny, firing off a rifle at his target. His aim was better than Diana’s, but he had the training. Diana did it to relieve stress, her revolver kicked like a mule. The microphone on the camera picked up their conversation through each shot fired.

Kenny: So what are you gonna do?

.::POP::.

Diana: About what?

Kenny: Come on, baby, Overdrive. You haven’t said much of a word about it yet.

.::POP::.

Diana: Don’t worry babe. I’m gonna get this. I heard what all those half-assed jerk-offs had to say and it’s all a big load. One more shot for me and then I gotta get back for Phil, OK?

Kenny: Sounds good. I might as well take one more too.

.::POP POP::.

Both of their last bullets struck the center of the targets’ foreheads and Diana sent Kenny a wink. As Diana removed her head gear and stepped out of the booth a tall man was waiting outside for her.

Man: Royce Jameson.

He stuck out his hand for a shake. Diana hesitantly gave him hers.

Royce: I’m a representative from Smith & Wesson. It seems to me you’ve been a long time customer of ours, Diana Steel.

He smiled and Diana’s face lit up.

Diana: Are you kidding? Any gun or knife I’ve owned since I was 15 has been a Smith & Wesson!

She pulled from her back pocket her black combo edge SWAT assisted open with pride.

Royce: That’s great Diana, because on behalf of Smith & Wesson, we’d like to sponsor you!
Diana looked at Kenny, who was doing a silent clap behind the man.

Diana: Well, I mean, let me think about it…Are you kidding, of course!

She shook his hand and when she pulled it away she was holding a gold Smith & Wesson round flask.

Royce: Just a little engagement gift. We think you’re gonna be big for us and for APW. Go ahead, turn it over.

She did, and engraved in the back read “That Girl” Diana Steel & “The Ego Crusher” Kenny Lambardo.

Diana: What can I say? Thank you!

Royce: We’ll be in touch, Diana. .::he winked::.

As he walked away Kenny hoped up next to her and rested an arm comfortably around her shoulder.

Kenny: Let me see, what’s it say? ………Wow. That’s awesome.

Diana: You do know what this means right? .::Kenny sighed::. It’s time to celebrate.

As they walked out of the building, APW cuts to a commercial.


When we return we see Kenny with Diana in his lap and Diana was sipping what could ONLY be whiskey from her brand new flask up on the roof. Upon cue, Trevor and the rest of S&V popped through the roof door and walked towards them.

Fyre Angel: Hey Mr. and Mrs. to be!

Diana: Hey you guys!

Spirit: Diana…have you been drinking?

Diana: .::thinks for a moment::. I’m not drunk. .::seemed like an acceptable answer::.

After a few minutes of the group talking and laughing the door opens and “The Iceman” Jason Royce walks up. He pauses awkwardly trying to figure out how to handle the situation after his very very awkward promo.

Jason: Um..Diana..

Diana: Look Icey, if the next two words out of your mouth aren’t “see ya”, then the next word will be “Oh my god, my crotch, you’ve punched me in the crotch.” Got it?
Jason stood confused (as I’m sure he often is) for a moment before mumbling the words “See ya” and walking back out the door.

Kenny: I liked that a lot. You know what else I like?

Trevor: What?

Kenny: Copy write infringement!

All of the S&V crew looked to the camera and smiled, giving a thumbs up.

Diana: I love that guy, he’s like a small dog. You kick him and kick him and kick him and he just keeps on trying to hump your leg.

Trevor: You do have that affect on most guys.

Tony: Sometimes girls, too.

Kenny: Watch it guys.

Diana: Oh, don’t take it out on them; they were just trying to give me a compliment.

The group started laughing again and this time when the door opened Phil walked out.

Diana: Well there ya are Phil!

Phil: Sorry I’m late Diana, care to get started? First I’d like to say congratulations on your victory at Rasslemania, your first pay per view since returning to wrestling!

Diana: Thanks Phil, glad to do it, anytime. .::she winked at the camera::.

Phil: Now, there’s still one more step in your journey to your first potential title since your return, and this will be the most challenging yet. Now, many of your old and new fans are rooting for you of course but your opponents have some other ideas. First, Jason Royce whom you’ve known since your days in the WWC.

Diana: Right, I just saw that little bugger, actually. Now, he’s one of those guys that’s always got a lot to say but when you look back and reflect you’re not exactly sure what his point was. But for you, I’ll take a crack at it. Jason, you went on talking about CWA and IWC…I mean were we hitting you on the head a little too hard for all those years? I was never a part of either of those federations. So, get a cat scan before you decide to keep this career sweetheart. And it’s like you said yourself, we’ve met in the ring quite a few times before and I’ve always beaten you. But what’s going to be different this time sugar? You say that you’re a new man but honey, you’re still on a 5-1! Warm up on some backyard wrestlers before you get over zealous and hurt yourself. Please.

Phil: Ouch. Well, I say he deserved it. He used that bitch Cindy instead of me for his interview. Anyway, on a more interesting note what about Justin Job, who you’ve met in the ring before here?

Diana: I’m sorry about that whole Cindy incident Phil, you know I’ll always choose you! Anyway. If I ever see that ambiguously gay duo mocking Hurricane Jeff ever again I swear to God I will gut them.

Kenny: Whoa..what the fuck?

Diana: Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. Jay-Jay, you’re right, it was really not too long ago since we fought together. And you know what, we ended up pulling that asshole down together pretty nice. But sugar, that was my first match in a long time. That was my warm up. So was Rasslemania. I am all warmed up and ready to pin you all by my itty bitty little self this week. Don’t worry, maybe you’ll catch the Overdrive title later on when I throw it to you in a few weeks. See, I’m movin on up Jefferson’s style here. The Overdrive Title is my first step on an even longer journey to the top. Where will I go from there? Well that’s for you and your very strange little friend to find out. Lucky you. And as for getting engaged on television being a publicity stunt and all? This is a sport shit head! It’s about entertainment! Well…mostly it’s about me kicking your ass and sporting gold. But the rest of it is entertainment! Without those publicity stunts let’s see how many people give a flying fuck who beats who when. Why, then we’d all just be fighting each other on the streets trying not to get arrested. .::she and Kenny both sigh::. Oh I miss New York…Besides…it was a more romantic thing than you could ever muster up in that tiny brain of yours. Don’t be too jealous OK Jay-Jay?

Diana stood up off Kenny’s lap, and took a swig from her flask. She went from looking cocky to looking pissed, very pissed.

Diana: And I just remembered your little crack at Jeff and I. You watch what you say about shit like that Justin. Hurricane Jeff is a legend, and not only does he have more dignity than to let people skip to the top, I am not, I repeat not one of those diva sluts running around sleeping with all you ‘big stroooong men’ just to get a few minutes of air time every week. I worked hard to get to where I am, and I’ll do it again just the same here at APW. Watch it.

Phil: Yikes! Don’t mess with “That Girl” kids, unless under the supervision of Kenny Lambardo! Lastly, you’re opponent Michael Lively. What do you think will happen with this talented fellow?

Diana: Well, I have to say I agree with a lot of what Lively has to say about our other opponents. I mean really Michael, BURN. But um…I heard your theory on me and to be quite honest…I didn’t understand it for the life of me. Kenny beat sabur who beat me who beat you who beat Justin who beats off to pictures of your mom? I’m not sure I follow. There’s just no logic there. But let’s face it, this isn’t about logic. This is about who’s better. And so far…well, that’d be me! You’re right. I am fucking dangerous in the ring.

Spirit: And who you kidding, outside the ring also!

Diana: True. Point is…I’m “That Girl”. And what that means is I’m That Girl you have to look out for. That Girl that’s gonna make your job a living hell. That Girl that’s gonna come through with that title in hand. And don’t forget it, cause I won’t let you. .::she blew a kiss::.

Phil: Well, you’ve certainly made your point! Anything else you’d like to say?

Diana: Yeah, actually. From now on, “That Girl” Diana Steel is the official star sponsored by Smith &Wesson, knifes, pistols, rifles, revolvers and anything else you need to get the job done! Ya hear me?

Phil: Well there ya go! Brought to you by Smith & Wesson, “That Girl” Diana Steel! Watch out, she’s playin with the big boys as always!

And with that, APW cuts to another commercial.


OOC: if you didn't watch the commercials...I suggest you do. That is all.