Post by Streets Wilson on Sept 16, 2009 12:03:30 GMT -4
(The scene opens to Streets Wilson in a grocery store buying his grocery's. He can be seen curiously picking up and reading the labels on various items, as small crowds gather to watch him shop)
Streets Wilson (to himself): I fucking hate shopping… stupid ass random people always trying to talk to me…
(he picks up an item)
Streets Wilson: Hmm… Pina Colotta Butt Lotion?
(he slowly puts the item back on the shelf as he looks around to see if anyone noticed him pick it up)
(As Streets Wilson walks out of one isle and turns to go into the next, he bumps right into Louie Anderson, knocking Louie down into a basket of potato chips… the crunching sound is deafening)
(Louie gets up off the ground aggressively and acts as if he is angry until he notices who it is he has bumped into)
Louie: Streets?
Streets Wilson (nonchalantly): Yes Louie Anderson?
Louie: I can’t believe its YOU I bumped into! Do you know If have decided to try my hand at this “Professional Wrestling”
Streets Wilson: …
Louie: Yeah: I’ve been goin down there to the “Frustrated Rhino” gym down there
Streets Wilson: … Down where…
Louie Anderson (ignoring Streets confusion): PLUS I got my new hip hop record comin out soon, you may have heard of it: “Blasphemous Prophet”
(Streets Wilson covers his own face with his hands in frustration)
Streets Wilson: dear god…
Louie Anderson: Yeah, my rapping name is “Fat Mama Fitzgerald”
Streets Wilson (sighing louder perhaps then anyone has sighed before): I didn’t know John Cena had that much of an appeal…
Louie Anderson: Yeah, everyone who wants to be cool has to release a hip hop album now…
(Streets looks now as if he has remembered something important, he removes his hand from his face and smiles, pushes Louie Anderson out of sight and looks towards the camera screen, breaking the third wall like a pro)
Streets Wilson: Well then I guess this a good time to reveal that Streets Wilsons debut album “Father Cool” is hitting stores this Wednesday and the first single “Shake your vagina” comes out today.
(Louie’s Anderon slowly walks back into the situation)
Louie: Who are you talking to?
Streets Wilson (ignoring Louie Anderson): and the “I’ll Rip Your Clothes off with My Mind (But Literally)” Tour kicks off in December!
Louie: Don’t you have more important things to worry about?
Streets Wilson: like what?
Louie Anderson: Well like: who’s are these Assassin and Slade Craven characters?
(Louie holds up 2 official APW posters with Assassin and Slade Craven in very serious poses on them)
Streets Wilson: Their nobody…
(Streets clenches his fist and grinds his teeth)
Streets Wilson: For gods sake Louie I’m just trying to buy some fuckin groceries, get your incredibly ugly ass the fuck out of my vicinity immediately
(Louie Anderson’s facial expression changes to that of someone who’s family was just found dead and slowly walks off down a random isle)
(2 guys eavesdropping on the conversation can be heard talking as Streets Wilson is at the checkout)
Random Guy: Jeez, that Streets Wilson is a DICK
(Streets Wilson quietly pays and angrily snatches the receipt from the persons hand before stomping out of the grocery store)
(Streets is now walking around outside looking for his car)
Streets Wilson: Where the BITCH is it?
(Streets presses the alarm button on his keys and a nearby elderly woman is blown backwards across the parking lot by the explosion of Streets car and smashes her spine directly on Streets Wilson cart damn near ripping her in half)
(Streets Wilson just stares back and forth between the smoldering wreck that used to be his vehicle, and the shattered innocent old woman)
Streets Wilson (continuing to push his grocery cart): … People think its all fun and games being Streets Wilson… … NOT WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO THE FUCKING STORE
(He turns and begins walking down the street sulking)
Random Guy (coming out of the grocery store): See: I told you he was on a downward spiral.
(The scene fades to black as the random guy and his “friend” watch the figure of Streets Wilson walk down the road)
Streets Wilson (to himself): I fucking hate shopping… stupid ass random people always trying to talk to me…
(he picks up an item)
Streets Wilson: Hmm… Pina Colotta Butt Lotion?
(he slowly puts the item back on the shelf as he looks around to see if anyone noticed him pick it up)
(As Streets Wilson walks out of one isle and turns to go into the next, he bumps right into Louie Anderson, knocking Louie down into a basket of potato chips… the crunching sound is deafening)
(Louie gets up off the ground aggressively and acts as if he is angry until he notices who it is he has bumped into)
Louie: Streets?
Streets Wilson (nonchalantly): Yes Louie Anderson?
Louie: I can’t believe its YOU I bumped into! Do you know If have decided to try my hand at this “Professional Wrestling”
Streets Wilson: …
Louie: Yeah: I’ve been goin down there to the “Frustrated Rhino” gym down there
Streets Wilson: … Down where…
Louie Anderson (ignoring Streets confusion): PLUS I got my new hip hop record comin out soon, you may have heard of it: “Blasphemous Prophet”
(Streets Wilson covers his own face with his hands in frustration)
Streets Wilson: dear god…
Louie Anderson: Yeah, my rapping name is “Fat Mama Fitzgerald”
Streets Wilson (sighing louder perhaps then anyone has sighed before): I didn’t know John Cena had that much of an appeal…
Louie Anderson: Yeah, everyone who wants to be cool has to release a hip hop album now…
(Streets looks now as if he has remembered something important, he removes his hand from his face and smiles, pushes Louie Anderson out of sight and looks towards the camera screen, breaking the third wall like a pro)
Streets Wilson: Well then I guess this a good time to reveal that Streets Wilsons debut album “Father Cool” is hitting stores this Wednesday and the first single “Shake your vagina” comes out today.
(Louie’s Anderon slowly walks back into the situation)
Louie: Who are you talking to?
Streets Wilson (ignoring Louie Anderson): and the “I’ll Rip Your Clothes off with My Mind (But Literally)” Tour kicks off in December!
Louie: Don’t you have more important things to worry about?
Streets Wilson: like what?
Louie Anderson: Well like: who’s are these Assassin and Slade Craven characters?
(Louie holds up 2 official APW posters with Assassin and Slade Craven in very serious poses on them)
Streets Wilson: Their nobody…
(Streets clenches his fist and grinds his teeth)
Streets Wilson: For gods sake Louie I’m just trying to buy some fuckin groceries, get your incredibly ugly ass the fuck out of my vicinity immediately
(Louie Anderson’s facial expression changes to that of someone who’s family was just found dead and slowly walks off down a random isle)
(2 guys eavesdropping on the conversation can be heard talking as Streets Wilson is at the checkout)
Random Guy: Jeez, that Streets Wilson is a DICK
(Streets Wilson quietly pays and angrily snatches the receipt from the persons hand before stomping out of the grocery store)
(Streets is now walking around outside looking for his car)
Streets Wilson: Where the BITCH is it?
(Streets presses the alarm button on his keys and a nearby elderly woman is blown backwards across the parking lot by the explosion of Streets car and smashes her spine directly on Streets Wilson cart damn near ripping her in half)
(Streets Wilson just stares back and forth between the smoldering wreck that used to be his vehicle, and the shattered innocent old woman)
Streets Wilson (continuing to push his grocery cart): … People think its all fun and games being Streets Wilson… … NOT WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO THE FUCKING STORE
(He turns and begins walking down the street sulking)
Random Guy (coming out of the grocery store): See: I told you he was on a downward spiral.
(The scene fades to black as the random guy and his “friend” watch the figure of Streets Wilson walk down the road)
