Post by "The Hottest Shit Going" on Sept 23, 2009 19:18:32 GMT -4
Silence is broken by the sounds of loud thuds and crumples. A librarian looks up from her desk ntociing the noise. She stands and straightens her skirt as fixes the glasses on her face. The woman heads in the direction of the sound. As she rounds the corner a librarians worst nightmare is then brought to a screamingly harsh reality. The woman shrieks out in horror as her eyes feast in the sight on books thrown on the floor, and pages torn and crumpled.
Her eyes then lift from the ground level to see the culprate of the hianous violation of the World Library Commsions rule number one thiry eight subsection two ninety four dash thirty seven, "Thou Shalt Not Destroy, Damage, or Deface Library Books". To her suprise but I'm sure not yours the violator of this rule is none other then Michael Lively. The man dressed and ready for action seems to be in a panic and continues to yank books from the shelves. His eyes scan pages real fast and his hands begin to tear at them as well. The womans shrieking gets the attention of the White Lion as he drops a book as if caught in the act of steeling.
The woman tries to get her self together for a brief momet the akwardness is at a ll time high. Lively just stares at the woman as if he were caught ass rapping a goat, then finnaly she speaks which releives Lively.
"How dare you violate the Rules of the Wolrd Library Commisions."
Lively looks puzzled as the woman has just berated him in Italian.
"Como-Etes-El Fuckey-Youa"
The woman looks at Lively a little more puzzled then he had just looked at her. Lively then repeats the phrase while thrusting his hips in a fucking motion towards the woman. Her face ten turns red, and a furious anger is lit within her eyes. Lively then holds up a hand as if telling her to wait one moment and runs toward the magazine section.
As he sprints toward it he can see his mother seated at a table checking out GQ. He leaps over the small barrier wall and shoulder tackles his mother to the ground. The bable and chairs fall over as well. Lively pins his mother down by her shoulders as he looks right in her face. The woman in fear looks back up at her son who always seems to be out of control.
"Errr-Michael, whats going on-buzz?"
"Listen, does that thing translate languages?" (Pointing at her electronic voice box)
"Errr-I think so-buzz"
Lively quickly rips the necklace voice box off of his mother and stands as if he just got the ball out of a dog pile in a football game. He then hops the barrier wall and sprints back over to the mess he had created. as he arrives the Librarian is kneeled down picking up some of the books on the ground. Lively then tries to tell her he is going to put this necklace voice box in her. The communication barrier has the woman freaked out as she does not understand Lively, nor does he understand her. Lively then forcefully straps the contraption around the Librarians neck and motions for her to speak.
"Errr-Compártalo por favor con sus amigos-buzz"
Lively then begins tweaking the dial as the woman continues talking. Suddenly...
"Errr-I think we should have you arrested for what you did here-buzz."
Lively looks very excited at the woman being able to speak English. Then realizes she has just threatened to have him arrested.
"About two minutes ago I swear you were asking to fuck the JESUS, now you are threatening to send me to jail...you people are weired here in Italy."
The woman still has no clue of what he has just said. Lively then takes the voice box contraption off the woman and holds it up to him prior to turning the knob over to Italian.
In Italian Lively then repeats his last comments. Within an instant the woman slaps the JESUS right across the cheek. The woman grabs the device back holding it to her throat.
"Err-Why would you do this to these precious books-buzz?"
Lively then nods realizing thats what this is all about. Being so involved in himself he might not have ever relized thats the problem. He then takes a turn with the device.
"Errr-I'm looking for books on Awesome-buzz, Errr-I couldn't seem to find any-buzz"
The woman snatches the device back real fast.
"Errr-thats because you are looking in the breast feeding intsructional section-buzz"
Lively then snatches the box back again.
"Errr-Well it was only logical, sucking on breasts is awesome, so I figured this is where it would be-buzz"
The woman disgusted by Michael Lively then gives him the direction of where he can find what he is looking for. Lively thanks the woman he simply smirks at him in return as if she had just meet the worlds biggest asshole. Little did she know that feeling could possibly be very true.
Lively runs by his mother at the magazine section and tosses her back her voice box necklace and continues on his quest for the books on Awesome. Around the corner in the refrence section the JESUS begins scanning the spines of the books untill his eyes gander upon what he is looking for. Like a child finding their favorite comic book Michael Lively snatches the book from the shelf. He sits on the floor crossing his legs and opens the book on his lap. The pages are flipped rapidily and then stopped as Lively's begin scanning the page.
Awesome: Inspiring Awe; an Awesome sight. Showing or Characterized by Awe. Slang very impressive: That new white convertible is awesome.
Note: If going up against someone awesome your odds are next to none that you will overcome awesome. Secondly if said person is one part of a axis of awesome you may just pack your bags and head home.
Lively slams the book down in frustration.
"Nothing on how to beat or deal with awesome. Thats is fucking unbelievable and popostorous. How do you even become awesome. I'm the Hottest Shit Going, how do I add Awesome to my long list of nicknames."
Just then Michael Lively's attention is grabbed by the quick whistle sound a white bearded old man makes with his lips. Lively then glances toward then man who waves him over.
"I couldn't help but overhear you, did you say you wish to be awesome?"
"Yeah I couldn't find anything anywhere on how to combat awesome, to deal with awesome, or overcome it. I figured the only thing I could do is become awesome, even the playing field and then BLAMO...I will be the new Overdrive champion, the JESUS, the Hottest Shit Going, and the one and only last standing Awesome."
The white bearded man chuckles at Lively's excitement.
"Well young man I can make you awesome."
"Really, how long will it take I only have about three hours untill I face off with this guy who is already awesome."
"Well lad, how much money do you have on you. Becoming awesome isn't cheap, and can't be preformed for free."
Lively understands this attitude as he feels that way about his talents. The JESUS quickly pulls out seventy five dollars cash that he quickly grabbed in case he needed to purchase a book.
"Nice, that will work my son. Now come over here and stand in the corner. Now kneal down."
The man slides a chair over and climbs up on it looking down at Lively who has knealed down.
"The kingdom of Heavens...the depths of hell...the man that stands before you needs his ego to swell. The power of awesome is what he requests, and that I beg of you on him to bless."
The man then pulls out a sword made from paper towel cardboard rolls.
"The eye of Thundera...give me sight beyond sight...the evil spirits of Mumra grace this blade."
Lively opens his eyes looking up at the man spitting crazy words.
"By the power of Greyskull...I make you AWESOME!!!!"
The man then knights Lively with his sword by tapping each shoulder with the cardboard blade.
"Do you feel it?"
Lively stands holds his hands in the air as if absorbing the power of Awesome. Just then he quickly sweeps the mans legs out from under him knocking him sideways off the chair.
"WHOOAAA!"
"You can't bamboozle a top ranked bamboozler"
Lively then gives the man nice solid stiff right hand to the chin. He takes his money back from make shift Gypsy. Lively then turns toward the camera capturing all the action. He scrambles over rapidily grabbing the thing by the lens and drags it over toward the chair. Lively has a seat as he plants a foot on the bearded mans chest.
"Enough fun and games. Enough stupid filler and none sensical bullshit. I have enough of a joke, and carnival sideshow on my hands this evening when I step face to face with the happy ass Lucky Charms mascot. This shrunken wee little man known as Biggs. How fitting is it the man named Biggs rules the midget wrestling scene. I mean you should see how he ruins other midgets, Mini-Machoman, Dink the midget, Mini-Abdullah the Butcher, Little-Boogieman, and Hornswaggle all have fallen to this man. Biggs runs the APW midget division, and right now we should all take a moment to congradulate the man on his successful win in becoming the APW Midget champion."
Lively then claps for a moment before grabing his balls as he rolls his eyes.
"Now tonight becasue the man wants to be the fighting midget champion he demanded a title defense. APW tried to get Sabur's Lil Dick to make a return, but I heard he's got some sort of rash. In turn they have booked ME, Michael Lively against this dwarf like little son of a bitch. Doing so has sentenced this man to a shameful beating, and unfourtanately senteced me to the Overdrive title scene once more. A division I ruled like Hitler, running the Jewish Electric pool. A flip of the switch and I cooked all the competition."
Lively then crosses his arms as he continues on.
"Biggs, I understand what it's like to get a taste of that title. I understand what it's like to begin your career here in APW, and start climbing that ladder. I also must tell you that your proclamation of making a name for yourself at my expense isn't the first made of it's kind. Many have tried, and damn near all have fallen in my wake of greatness. Biggs you in some ways remind me of myself. Overdrive champion, trying to cement his place in the industry as a great. The difference Biggs is I am Great and you seem to fall short-HA!. I know full well what I can do. The people that tune in know what I can do. The bookers know what I can do. Which makes this match a mystery to me. Why would they drive you into a wall head first at sixty five miles an hour. You stepping in my ring, putting your title on the line is surely going to be fatal for your ego. It will prove to be detrimental to your title run, and a nasty blow to you win loss record. You are looking at me as a stepping stone. Thinking I'm your lucky card that will get you to pass go without stopping."
Lively then stands from the chair clearing his throat. He plants one foot on the seat of the chair and leans on his knee.
"Biggs, I waltzed into the APW with a huge head on my shoulders, and an overflowing bucket of talent. My first impact in the company was defeating Kenny Lambardo. A former world champion of other feds, a man brought into this company to make a run at the world title, and whether you like him or not you can not dispute his talent was legit. I shocked many by mocking him, insulting him, burning his prescious Sons of Carthage jacket, and then did the unthinkable by keeping those shoulders down for the three count. Where did that get me? Kenny Lambardo otherwise known as Kaos went on to get a world title shot, while the JESUS was tossed into the Overdrive title scene. I didn't feel bad, or look at what could have been. I took full advantage of my opportunities and took out the protege of Level One Justin Job to become the new Overdrive champion. I held that title for a long time holding everyone standing in line for it at bay. I finally lost the belt, and moved on to snag the tag team titles with Twister."
Lively then bows his head as he mention his friends name.
"Many months moved on. I didn't see my world title shot. People like Doctor Phate, Twister, Sabur, Dr. Matt all got the world title shots. Not a word of being held back or owed the shot, I just walked around simply as the best proving it week in and week out. I bided my time, and finally it happened. You know why it happend Biggs, not because I beat Kenny a former world champion. I got the shot because I finally earned it. You beating me isn't going to do anything for you except boost your ego, give you something flashy to boast about when you face off against other people. To move forward in this business you must put in work and earn it. One win wont grant you the golden ticket my friend. You rack up victories like Level One and Myself have. You bring rattings to the investors like I do, then doors open for you. Don't fret though, tonight can still mean a lot for you. It will be a big time moment in your history. The night you almost beat Michael Lively. The night a great man took your title away. Listen Biggs, this is what I will do. Since for what ever reason you pissed the bookers off, I will take your belt tonight, and then next week I will drop the strap so you and about three or four other low level jobbers can battle it out. Play your cards right and you can be a two time Overdrive champion."
Lively then takes his foot down walks over toward one of the book shelves and leans against it.
"The thought of you winning cleanly is the furtherst thing from reality. You might want to text Chris Cyrus, call the Beast and let them know it's all hands on deck to help the rather short, mutant faced, former Hillbilly from losing his new title. I know the trio of you can do it, hell look what you've done for Chris Cyrus. So either make those calls, or step in the ring and bite the bullet. You can save your respect for someone who might give a fuck. Marking out for me isn't going to make me let up on you. I say shove that respect right up your ass, I'll go ahead and kick it out later when I earn it first hand. This is simply going to be a war, the little kiddies are going see the JESUS live on TV beat the fucking hell out of a retarded midget. The Little People of America will rise up, and surely sue the APW for the assualt I plant on one of their own tonight. It doesn't look good for you, the odds are stacked high. I'm no easy task, and I'm sure you will put up one hell of a fight. The simple fact is, I have no quit, the gas tank never runs empty, and there is always a chance when your the Hottest Shit Going. Awesome is good, but I am GREAT. So maybe have a little meeting with your pastor, drop to your knees and say a little prayer together. Speak up, cause the JESUS is all ears. I'll listen close, and then simply answer you with the kindness of taking your title, pissing on your hopes and dreams, and shitting on your chances of passing me by on the ladder of success."
Michael Lively then turns to his side looks at the bearded man still layed out on the ground. He then whips a superkick right into the chin of the camera as the equiptment turns to static.
Her eyes then lift from the ground level to see the culprate of the hianous violation of the World Library Commsions rule number one thiry eight subsection two ninety four dash thirty seven, "Thou Shalt Not Destroy, Damage, or Deface Library Books". To her suprise but I'm sure not yours the violator of this rule is none other then Michael Lively. The man dressed and ready for action seems to be in a panic and continues to yank books from the shelves. His eyes scan pages real fast and his hands begin to tear at them as well. The womans shrieking gets the attention of the White Lion as he drops a book as if caught in the act of steeling.
The woman tries to get her self together for a brief momet the akwardness is at a ll time high. Lively just stares at the woman as if he were caught ass rapping a goat, then finnaly she speaks which releives Lively.
"How dare you violate the Rules of the Wolrd Library Commisions."
Lively looks puzzled as the woman has just berated him in Italian.
"Como-Etes-El Fuckey-Youa"
The woman looks at Lively a little more puzzled then he had just looked at her. Lively then repeats the phrase while thrusting his hips in a fucking motion towards the woman. Her face ten turns red, and a furious anger is lit within her eyes. Lively then holds up a hand as if telling her to wait one moment and runs toward the magazine section.
As he sprints toward it he can see his mother seated at a table checking out GQ. He leaps over the small barrier wall and shoulder tackles his mother to the ground. The bable and chairs fall over as well. Lively pins his mother down by her shoulders as he looks right in her face. The woman in fear looks back up at her son who always seems to be out of control.
"Errr-Michael, whats going on-buzz?"
"Listen, does that thing translate languages?" (Pointing at her electronic voice box)
"Errr-I think so-buzz"
Lively quickly rips the necklace voice box off of his mother and stands as if he just got the ball out of a dog pile in a football game. He then hops the barrier wall and sprints back over to the mess he had created. as he arrives the Librarian is kneeled down picking up some of the books on the ground. Lively then tries to tell her he is going to put this necklace voice box in her. The communication barrier has the woman freaked out as she does not understand Lively, nor does he understand her. Lively then forcefully straps the contraption around the Librarians neck and motions for her to speak.
"Errr-Compártalo por favor con sus amigos-buzz"
Lively then begins tweaking the dial as the woman continues talking. Suddenly...
"Errr-I think we should have you arrested for what you did here-buzz."
Lively looks very excited at the woman being able to speak English. Then realizes she has just threatened to have him arrested.
"About two minutes ago I swear you were asking to fuck the JESUS, now you are threatening to send me to jail...you people are weired here in Italy."
The woman still has no clue of what he has just said. Lively then takes the voice box contraption off the woman and holds it up to him prior to turning the knob over to Italian.
In Italian Lively then repeats his last comments. Within an instant the woman slaps the JESUS right across the cheek. The woman grabs the device back holding it to her throat.
"Err-Why would you do this to these precious books-buzz?"
Lively then nods realizing thats what this is all about. Being so involved in himself he might not have ever relized thats the problem. He then takes a turn with the device.
"Errr-I'm looking for books on Awesome-buzz, Errr-I couldn't seem to find any-buzz"
The woman snatches the device back real fast.
"Errr-thats because you are looking in the breast feeding intsructional section-buzz"
Lively then snatches the box back again.
"Errr-Well it was only logical, sucking on breasts is awesome, so I figured this is where it would be-buzz"
The woman disgusted by Michael Lively then gives him the direction of where he can find what he is looking for. Lively thanks the woman he simply smirks at him in return as if she had just meet the worlds biggest asshole. Little did she know that feeling could possibly be very true.
Lively runs by his mother at the magazine section and tosses her back her voice box necklace and continues on his quest for the books on Awesome. Around the corner in the refrence section the JESUS begins scanning the spines of the books untill his eyes gander upon what he is looking for. Like a child finding their favorite comic book Michael Lively snatches the book from the shelf. He sits on the floor crossing his legs and opens the book on his lap. The pages are flipped rapidily and then stopped as Lively's begin scanning the page.
Awesome: Inspiring Awe; an Awesome sight. Showing or Characterized by Awe. Slang very impressive: That new white convertible is awesome.
Note: If going up against someone awesome your odds are next to none that you will overcome awesome. Secondly if said person is one part of a axis of awesome you may just pack your bags and head home.
Lively slams the book down in frustration.
"Nothing on how to beat or deal with awesome. Thats is fucking unbelievable and popostorous. How do you even become awesome. I'm the Hottest Shit Going, how do I add Awesome to my long list of nicknames."
Just then Michael Lively's attention is grabbed by the quick whistle sound a white bearded old man makes with his lips. Lively then glances toward then man who waves him over.
"I couldn't help but overhear you, did you say you wish to be awesome?"
"Yeah I couldn't find anything anywhere on how to combat awesome, to deal with awesome, or overcome it. I figured the only thing I could do is become awesome, even the playing field and then BLAMO...I will be the new Overdrive champion, the JESUS, the Hottest Shit Going, and the one and only last standing Awesome."
The white bearded man chuckles at Lively's excitement.
"Well young man I can make you awesome."
"Really, how long will it take I only have about three hours untill I face off with this guy who is already awesome."
"Well lad, how much money do you have on you. Becoming awesome isn't cheap, and can't be preformed for free."
Lively understands this attitude as he feels that way about his talents. The JESUS quickly pulls out seventy five dollars cash that he quickly grabbed in case he needed to purchase a book.
"Nice, that will work my son. Now come over here and stand in the corner. Now kneal down."
The man slides a chair over and climbs up on it looking down at Lively who has knealed down.
"The kingdom of Heavens...the depths of hell...the man that stands before you needs his ego to swell. The power of awesome is what he requests, and that I beg of you on him to bless."
The man then pulls out a sword made from paper towel cardboard rolls.
"The eye of Thundera...give me sight beyond sight...the evil spirits of Mumra grace this blade."
Lively opens his eyes looking up at the man spitting crazy words.
"By the power of Greyskull...I make you AWESOME!!!!"
The man then knights Lively with his sword by tapping each shoulder with the cardboard blade.
"Do you feel it?"
Lively stands holds his hands in the air as if absorbing the power of Awesome. Just then he quickly sweeps the mans legs out from under him knocking him sideways off the chair.
"WHOOAAA!"
"You can't bamboozle a top ranked bamboozler"
Lively then gives the man nice solid stiff right hand to the chin. He takes his money back from make shift Gypsy. Lively then turns toward the camera capturing all the action. He scrambles over rapidily grabbing the thing by the lens and drags it over toward the chair. Lively has a seat as he plants a foot on the bearded mans chest.
"Enough fun and games. Enough stupid filler and none sensical bullshit. I have enough of a joke, and carnival sideshow on my hands this evening when I step face to face with the happy ass Lucky Charms mascot. This shrunken wee little man known as Biggs. How fitting is it the man named Biggs rules the midget wrestling scene. I mean you should see how he ruins other midgets, Mini-Machoman, Dink the midget, Mini-Abdullah the Butcher, Little-Boogieman, and Hornswaggle all have fallen to this man. Biggs runs the APW midget division, and right now we should all take a moment to congradulate the man on his successful win in becoming the APW Midget champion."
Lively then claps for a moment before grabing his balls as he rolls his eyes.
"Now tonight becasue the man wants to be the fighting midget champion he demanded a title defense. APW tried to get Sabur's Lil Dick to make a return, but I heard he's got some sort of rash. In turn they have booked ME, Michael Lively against this dwarf like little son of a bitch. Doing so has sentenced this man to a shameful beating, and unfourtanately senteced me to the Overdrive title scene once more. A division I ruled like Hitler, running the Jewish Electric pool. A flip of the switch and I cooked all the competition."
Lively then crosses his arms as he continues on.
"Biggs, I understand what it's like to get a taste of that title. I understand what it's like to begin your career here in APW, and start climbing that ladder. I also must tell you that your proclamation of making a name for yourself at my expense isn't the first made of it's kind. Many have tried, and damn near all have fallen in my wake of greatness. Biggs you in some ways remind me of myself. Overdrive champion, trying to cement his place in the industry as a great. The difference Biggs is I am Great and you seem to fall short-HA!. I know full well what I can do. The people that tune in know what I can do. The bookers know what I can do. Which makes this match a mystery to me. Why would they drive you into a wall head first at sixty five miles an hour. You stepping in my ring, putting your title on the line is surely going to be fatal for your ego. It will prove to be detrimental to your title run, and a nasty blow to you win loss record. You are looking at me as a stepping stone. Thinking I'm your lucky card that will get you to pass go without stopping."
Lively then stands from the chair clearing his throat. He plants one foot on the seat of the chair and leans on his knee.
"Biggs, I waltzed into the APW with a huge head on my shoulders, and an overflowing bucket of talent. My first impact in the company was defeating Kenny Lambardo. A former world champion of other feds, a man brought into this company to make a run at the world title, and whether you like him or not you can not dispute his talent was legit. I shocked many by mocking him, insulting him, burning his prescious Sons of Carthage jacket, and then did the unthinkable by keeping those shoulders down for the three count. Where did that get me? Kenny Lambardo otherwise known as Kaos went on to get a world title shot, while the JESUS was tossed into the Overdrive title scene. I didn't feel bad, or look at what could have been. I took full advantage of my opportunities and took out the protege of Level One Justin Job to become the new Overdrive champion. I held that title for a long time holding everyone standing in line for it at bay. I finally lost the belt, and moved on to snag the tag team titles with Twister."
Lively then bows his head as he mention his friends name.
"Many months moved on. I didn't see my world title shot. People like Doctor Phate, Twister, Sabur, Dr. Matt all got the world title shots. Not a word of being held back or owed the shot, I just walked around simply as the best proving it week in and week out. I bided my time, and finally it happened. You know why it happend Biggs, not because I beat Kenny a former world champion. I got the shot because I finally earned it. You beating me isn't going to do anything for you except boost your ego, give you something flashy to boast about when you face off against other people. To move forward in this business you must put in work and earn it. One win wont grant you the golden ticket my friend. You rack up victories like Level One and Myself have. You bring rattings to the investors like I do, then doors open for you. Don't fret though, tonight can still mean a lot for you. It will be a big time moment in your history. The night you almost beat Michael Lively. The night a great man took your title away. Listen Biggs, this is what I will do. Since for what ever reason you pissed the bookers off, I will take your belt tonight, and then next week I will drop the strap so you and about three or four other low level jobbers can battle it out. Play your cards right and you can be a two time Overdrive champion."
Lively then takes his foot down walks over toward one of the book shelves and leans against it.
"The thought of you winning cleanly is the furtherst thing from reality. You might want to text Chris Cyrus, call the Beast and let them know it's all hands on deck to help the rather short, mutant faced, former Hillbilly from losing his new title. I know the trio of you can do it, hell look what you've done for Chris Cyrus. So either make those calls, or step in the ring and bite the bullet. You can save your respect for someone who might give a fuck. Marking out for me isn't going to make me let up on you. I say shove that respect right up your ass, I'll go ahead and kick it out later when I earn it first hand. This is simply going to be a war, the little kiddies are going see the JESUS live on TV beat the fucking hell out of a retarded midget. The Little People of America will rise up, and surely sue the APW for the assualt I plant on one of their own tonight. It doesn't look good for you, the odds are stacked high. I'm no easy task, and I'm sure you will put up one hell of a fight. The simple fact is, I have no quit, the gas tank never runs empty, and there is always a chance when your the Hottest Shit Going. Awesome is good, but I am GREAT. So maybe have a little meeting with your pastor, drop to your knees and say a little prayer together. Speak up, cause the JESUS is all ears. I'll listen close, and then simply answer you with the kindness of taking your title, pissing on your hopes and dreams, and shitting on your chances of passing me by on the ladder of success."
Michael Lively then turns to his side looks at the bearded man still layed out on the ground. He then whips a superkick right into the chin of the camera as the equiptment turns to static.
