Post by biggs on Oct 7, 2009 1:22:36 GMT -4
Muse's “Uprising” plays as the words Biggs & Cyrus' First Contact flash across the starry background. It then switches to Biggs on his First Contact set, complete with the clear podium and blue leather couch. Biggs is dressed in his ring gear with the APW Overdrive Championship clasped around his waist.
Biggs: Ladies and germs, welcome to a very special edition of Biggs' First Contact. For those of you who are confused, you didn't read the graphic wrong, because this week, my special guest host is none other than the longest reigning champion in APW today, he is the APW Xtreme Champion, and my good friend, Chris Cyrus!
Cyrus pops onto the stage with his Xtreme Title slung over his shoulder. The two men give each other a high five.
Cyrus: It's great to be here. You know, this isn't my first appearance on First Contact, but it is my first stint guest hosting, and what an honor it is to be on the number one wrestling webshow on the entire Internet!
Biggs: Darn straight! We got a lot to talk about, so let's get on with the show!
A graphic of The AKA with a ladder behind them shows on the big screen in the back.
Biggs: Last week on Overdrive, I held true to my word and left the show still APW Overdrive Champion, although I have heard some grumblings about getting DQ'ed to save the belt.
Cyrus: That's bologna!
Biggs: It is! I had the match well in hand, but felt that Shadow wasn't even worthy to be in there with me, so rather than leave things to a minuscule fluke chance that his friends helped him beat me, I merely decided to bring an abrupt end to the match to make sure that he didn't get a tainted victory! So while I had to sacrifice the W in the record books, I take great pride in knowing that I prevented Shadow from bringing further disgrace to my Overdrive Championship.
Cyrus: He was a crappy champion! But do you know what else is crap, the fact that Max Carter is forcing us to defend our titles against the AKA once more! We already proved at Shockwave that we are the dominant faction here in APW, and what's more, Carter had the audacity to put us in a Double Title Tag Team Ladder Match!
Biggs: Max Carter must have it out for us, because not only did he force us into the Steel Cage and Blaze of Glory matches, but now he puts us in a match that's not determined by wrestling acumen or skill, but rather blind luck!
Cyrus: Also, he's trying to force me to break my vow of giving up the hardcore style for good! He's backed us into a corner again, giving the AKA all the advantages, but just like we did at Shockwave, The Axis of Awesome will show that despite the inherent bias of the higher ups, we are the best faction in APW today and dare I say, of all time!
Biggs: You dare say! Shadow, the simple fact that you get yet another shot at my APW Overdrive Title makes me sick to my stomach. You showed yourself to be an unworthy, ungrateful champion, and you do not deserve my belt.
Cyrus: And neither does Slade Craven deserve another shot at my Xtreme Title! We barbecued him at Shockwave, that should have been the end of his career, let alone any title aspirations! Slade, fire may not be involved in our upcoming ladder match, but you're going to get burned again!
The graphic behind them shifts to one of the O'Connor Brothers.
Biggs: But before we take on the AKA, we have to deal with a couple of drunken Irish delinquents who quite frankly are doing nothing but embarrassing themselves and all Irishmen with their antics!
Cyrus: You're part Irish, right Biggs?
Biggs: Indeed, and I must say that the O'Connor Brothers make me ashamed of that fact! Here's a couple of rowdy, unrefined walking stereotypes who had the audacity to call me a leprechaun upon our first meeting! Now I do realize that it was the beer talking, because while I do have gold...
Biggs pats his Overdrive Championship belt.
Biggs: ...I don't wear green, and in all honesty, I'm not that short! I'm 5 foot freakin' 10 inches tall, and that's average! It might be short for a wrestler, but it's not short for a normal person! If anything, it makes what I do in that ring all the more amazing, because I'm not gifted with the size and strength that some of the men I face are! That's proves that I am more skilled than them, because I am able to overcome those differences admirably!
Cyrus: Hear hear!
Biggs: And besides, O'Connor Brothers, you two fools aren't much taller than me, so you really don't have much room to talk, now do you? But back to your uncontrollable alcoholism, Cyrus and I have decided to share with you the 12 Step Program used by Alcoholics Anonymous to try and help you to improve yourselves.
Cyrus: We realize it may be a fruitless effort, but we actually want you two to be sober enough to have a decent match with us at Overdrive! Wait, Biggs, I got to level with you, I feel almost hypocritical chastising these two for their drinking, because I myself do enjoy the large quantities of spirited drinks!
Biggs: Don't feel hypocritical, my good friend, because unlike those two Irish buffoons, you are a responsible drinker, and you always have me there to be the designated driver! Those chumps don't know the concept of the responsibility, and it shows because their in ring work is erratic and undisciplined. But back to the 12 Steps, the 12 Steps are as follows:
The screen switches to a slide that has the 12 Steps Listed, which Biggs and Cyrus read aloud.
Biggs: First, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. Secondly, we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Third, we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Cyrus: Then, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Following that, we admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Sixth, we were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Wait, wait, wait! Before the idiots watching this attribute these to us, let me remind you that these are the 12 Step verbatim from the AA themselves. The Axis is not promoting, nor condemning the religious beliefs of ourselves, because quite frankly, that's none of your business! Also, neither one of us has had to use the 12 Step Program! When using the word “we”, we are referring the the AA. Just wanted to clear that up!
Biggs: Thanks partner! Back to the 12 Steps, we humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. After that, we made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Ninth on the list is we made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Cyrus: Tenth, we continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Following that,We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out. Finally, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The screen switches back from the list of the AA's 12 Steps to Biggs and Cyrus in the studio.
Biggs: Now O'Connors, we realize that you two drunken fools will more than likely ignore the knowledge and wisdom we've tried to impart on you to better yourselves, so Cyrus and I decided to come up with a 12 Step list of our own to help cope with the fact of your inevitable defeat this Wednesday at the hands of the Axis of Awesome! Take it away, Chris!
As Biggs and Cyrus take turns speaking, each step appears at the bottom of the screen.
Cyrus: First, you must admit that you are powerless to defeat the Axis of Awesome, that this match is well outside of your grasp!
Biggs: Secondly, come to believe in a power greater than yourselves, that being The Axis of Awesome, so that you may retain your sanity after defeat.
Cyrus: Third, make a decision to submit to the greatness of the Axis, however you chose to do so.
Biggs: Fourth, I think the AA got this one right, so we're going to use it again, make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself, including your deficiencies as wrestlers.
Cyrus: Fifth, admit to the Axis, yourselves, and everyone else the exact nature of not only your moral downfalls, but your inequities in the ring!
Biggs: Sixthly, be ready to have the Axis remove all these deficiencies by soundly defeating you two at Overdrive this Wednesday!
Cyrus: Seventh, humbly accept the beating we're about to give you!
Biggs: Eighth, make a list of all the people you've harmed, hurt, and otherwise offended by not only your alcoholism, but also your poor skills in the ring. This includes not only wrestlers you have injured with your ineptitude, but also all the fans who've had to put up with your lame excuse of wrestling that you two present each and every time you enter that ring!
Cyrus: Now we realize that the ninth step is going to probably be impossible for you two losers, as will the steps following, but we're going to share them anyways! Ninth, make direct amends where possible, apologizing to the wrestlers you've hurt, and to the fans. You guys have a lot of humbling out to do, because let's face it, you suck!
Biggs: Quite true, quite true! Tenth, continue to take a personal inventory, continually admitting areas that you can grow in, which will definitely be a lot!
Cyrus: Eleventh, seek through rigorous training and teaching ways to improve your lousy in ring skills, frequently checking in with the Axis to see if you're making any progress at all.
Biggs: Honestly, I don't think they're going to do that last one. But still, we must share the twelfth and final step, having come to realize your shortcomings and having the spiritual and physical awakening of actually becoming talented wrestlers, seek to carry out the message that the Axis so graciously bestowed upon you, and follow these principles we have shared with you every day of your lives!
Cyrus: We highly recommend that you follow these steps, because lets face it, you two have a snowball's chance in hell of beating us on Overdrive this Wednesday! I have held the APW Xtreme Championship for over nine months, the last few without wrestling the hardcore style, and my partner is bringing back honor and prestige to the APW Overdrive Championship! Together, we hold two out of the three championships here in APW, and that should be proof enough of our greatness!
Biggs: But if it's not, and you'd have to be crazy to think that it isn't, well, then we're just going to have to prove it to you first hand in the ring. Please try to not be too starstruck when you step into that ring with us, and for God's sake, please be sober! I don't want to have to smell the alcohol on your breath when I put you in a headlock! When you step into the ring with The Axis of Awesome this upcoming Wednesday, you will be going up against two of the greatest wrestlers this company, and the world, has ever seen. Oh yeah, before I forget, in your little counter speech that you two hooligans will eventually make against us, I repeat what I have told numerous opponents in the past, please try not to substitute cursing and yelling for making a coherent point. You'll just embarrass yourselves even more. Granted, you're going to be humiliated on Wednesday anyways, because not only am I out of this world...
Both: But we are AWESOME!
The two members of the Axis of Awesome chuckle a bit before the word's “Biggs' Shameless Plug of the Week!” flash across the screen.
Biggs: Well, we're almost out of time on this week's edition of First Contact, so it's time for the Shameless Plug! I'm going to let my guest host do the honors this week, so what's your shameless plug for the week, Chris?
Cyrus: Thanks Biggs for this honor. You're too kind! For my shameless plug this week, I'm plugging Hookers!
Biggs' face drops as Cyrus' eyes light up! The Xtreme Champion has an excited tone in his voice.
Biggs: That just sounded wrong!
Cyrus: I don't care! Hookers are amazing! They let a man take care of his physical needs, without the trouble and commitment of carrying on an actual relationship! It's better than porn!
Biggs: Folks, I apologize for this! The opinions expressed by my good friend are his alone, and do not reflect the opinion or thoughts of the First Contact staff or star, yours truly!
Cyrus: Don't cut me off, man! I haven't gotten to the best part!
Biggs: I'm sorry, pal, but the show is coming to an end! Until next week, keep watching the stars!
Cyrus: And porn!
Biggs slugs Cyrus in the shoulder as First Contact comes to a close. The APW logo and copyright flash across the screen.
***
As taping ends for First Contact, Biggs and Cyrus are joking around as the crew begins to tear down the set.
Biggs: I can't believe you used my show to promote an illegal activity like prostitution! Granted, it made for an interesting exchange, but if my minister sees this, oh boy am I in trouble!
Cyrus: It was just for laughs, man. Plus, hookers are legal in Nevada!
Biggs: That doesn't make it right, my friend. But different strokes for different folks, I guess. Hey, do you mind if I ask you something personal?
Cyrus: No problem. Fire away!
Biggs: How do you suppose that two fellas like us with drastically different moral standards became such good friends? I mean, I know we make a great team in the ring, and we have a lot of fun together, but a lot of times, I feel like a total buzz kill when you and Beast want to go have a night on the town!
Cyrus: Honestly, I have no freakin' idea! I know that my morals are a bit looser than yours, but I appreciate the fact that you don't try and force them on me. I know that I do somethings that make you uncomfortable, and you do some that make me uncomfortable, but in the end, we're bros, man. You got my back, and I got yours, and in the end, that's all that matters.
Biggs: Speaking about that, there's something I've been meaning to talk with you about, particularly what went down in your Blaze of Glory match with Slade Craven at Shockwave. I'll be honest, when Jay asked me that night if I had done anything else at the pay per view that might have been questionable, I didn't tell him about using a Super Soaker to drench Slade with lighter fluid. Since then, it's been eating me up, because I know that while I may be able to hide it from Jay, I know that God knows what I've done, and knows of my continual deception with Jay. As you know, my relationship with God is probably the most important aspect of my life, but since the pay per view, I feel like I've grown more distant from him, almost ashamed to approach him. Also, I've been having reoccurring nightmares about Slade burning me alive. It's been a very trying time for me emotionally, and spiritually.
Cyrus: Well, you know where I stand on the whole God thing, but I respect the fact that it's important to you. About the Slade situation, just realize that it was Max Carter who forced that ridiculous stipulation on the match, and if anyone's to blame, it's him. Also, Slade's already back in action, unfortunately, so obviously he didn't get burned too badly. But if things are really bothering you that badly, you should just man up and talk to Jay about it. In the short time I interacted with him, I was able to tell how much he cares about you, and if he's really your friend, he'll be able to understand where you're coming from, and forgive you. What you did has already happened, and you can't change it. And for what it's worth, I appreciate the fact that you helped prevent me from getting roasted at the pay per view!
Biggs: You're right! I'll give Jay a call tonight, and talk with him about it.
Cyrus: Not before we go out and have some fun! It's not everyday you get to hangout in Helsinki! We could go catch a soccer game and get s***-faced with all the hooligans! And after that, who knows! There's art museums and other historical stuff that you love, so we could probably check out some of those things after the game!
Biggs: That sounds like fun! Well, the soccer and historical parts, not the drunk part. I take it that I'm driving?
Cyrus: As always!
Biggs: Well, we should probably get changed out of our wrestling gear before we hit the town.
The two men make their way to their respective dressing rooms to get changed before heading out.
***
Later that night, Biggs and Cyrus reach their hotel after a fun day at the soccer pitch and a visit to the National Museum of Finland. Cyrus is slightly inebriated, and in good spirits, while Biggs is stone cold sober, but in good spirits as well.
Cyrus: Man, today was freakin' sweet, wasn't it!
Biggs: It certainly was. It's too bad that The Beast had to miss out, as his flight doesn't get here until tomorrow morning. Still, he should be here in time for Overdrive.
Cyrus: I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep well tonight!
Biggs: Well, I still need to call Jay, so I'm going to get headed to my room. I'll see you in the morning, bud!
Cyrus: Later man!
The two men give each other high fives before going their separate ways their individual rooms. Biggs slides his card key to gain access to a well sized room. The carpet is a rich red with yellow accents, and the curtains echo the yellow from the carpet. Biggs sits down on the rather large bed, and thinks to himself.
Biggs: “Well, it's the moment of truth. After this, there's no turning back. Hopefully this will help give me some peace with both God and Jay.”
Biggs whips out his cell phone, and dials the code to make an international call before dialing in Jay's number. He holds it up to his ear as it rings a few times. After a couple of rings, Jay picks up.
Biggs: Hey Jay, it's Gary. There's something I need to talk with you about...
Biggs: Ladies and germs, welcome to a very special edition of Biggs' First Contact. For those of you who are confused, you didn't read the graphic wrong, because this week, my special guest host is none other than the longest reigning champion in APW today, he is the APW Xtreme Champion, and my good friend, Chris Cyrus!
Cyrus pops onto the stage with his Xtreme Title slung over his shoulder. The two men give each other a high five.
Cyrus: It's great to be here. You know, this isn't my first appearance on First Contact, but it is my first stint guest hosting, and what an honor it is to be on the number one wrestling webshow on the entire Internet!
Biggs: Darn straight! We got a lot to talk about, so let's get on with the show!
A graphic of The AKA with a ladder behind them shows on the big screen in the back.
Biggs: Last week on Overdrive, I held true to my word and left the show still APW Overdrive Champion, although I have heard some grumblings about getting DQ'ed to save the belt.
Cyrus: That's bologna!
Biggs: It is! I had the match well in hand, but felt that Shadow wasn't even worthy to be in there with me, so rather than leave things to a minuscule fluke chance that his friends helped him beat me, I merely decided to bring an abrupt end to the match to make sure that he didn't get a tainted victory! So while I had to sacrifice the W in the record books, I take great pride in knowing that I prevented Shadow from bringing further disgrace to my Overdrive Championship.
Cyrus: He was a crappy champion! But do you know what else is crap, the fact that Max Carter is forcing us to defend our titles against the AKA once more! We already proved at Shockwave that we are the dominant faction here in APW, and what's more, Carter had the audacity to put us in a Double Title Tag Team Ladder Match!
Biggs: Max Carter must have it out for us, because not only did he force us into the Steel Cage and Blaze of Glory matches, but now he puts us in a match that's not determined by wrestling acumen or skill, but rather blind luck!
Cyrus: Also, he's trying to force me to break my vow of giving up the hardcore style for good! He's backed us into a corner again, giving the AKA all the advantages, but just like we did at Shockwave, The Axis of Awesome will show that despite the inherent bias of the higher ups, we are the best faction in APW today and dare I say, of all time!
Biggs: You dare say! Shadow, the simple fact that you get yet another shot at my APW Overdrive Title makes me sick to my stomach. You showed yourself to be an unworthy, ungrateful champion, and you do not deserve my belt.
Cyrus: And neither does Slade Craven deserve another shot at my Xtreme Title! We barbecued him at Shockwave, that should have been the end of his career, let alone any title aspirations! Slade, fire may not be involved in our upcoming ladder match, but you're going to get burned again!
The graphic behind them shifts to one of the O'Connor Brothers.
Biggs: But before we take on the AKA, we have to deal with a couple of drunken Irish delinquents who quite frankly are doing nothing but embarrassing themselves and all Irishmen with their antics!
Cyrus: You're part Irish, right Biggs?
Biggs: Indeed, and I must say that the O'Connor Brothers make me ashamed of that fact! Here's a couple of rowdy, unrefined walking stereotypes who had the audacity to call me a leprechaun upon our first meeting! Now I do realize that it was the beer talking, because while I do have gold...
Biggs pats his Overdrive Championship belt.
Biggs: ...I don't wear green, and in all honesty, I'm not that short! I'm 5 foot freakin' 10 inches tall, and that's average! It might be short for a wrestler, but it's not short for a normal person! If anything, it makes what I do in that ring all the more amazing, because I'm not gifted with the size and strength that some of the men I face are! That's proves that I am more skilled than them, because I am able to overcome those differences admirably!
Cyrus: Hear hear!
Biggs: And besides, O'Connor Brothers, you two fools aren't much taller than me, so you really don't have much room to talk, now do you? But back to your uncontrollable alcoholism, Cyrus and I have decided to share with you the 12 Step Program used by Alcoholics Anonymous to try and help you to improve yourselves.
Cyrus: We realize it may be a fruitless effort, but we actually want you two to be sober enough to have a decent match with us at Overdrive! Wait, Biggs, I got to level with you, I feel almost hypocritical chastising these two for their drinking, because I myself do enjoy the large quantities of spirited drinks!
Biggs: Don't feel hypocritical, my good friend, because unlike those two Irish buffoons, you are a responsible drinker, and you always have me there to be the designated driver! Those chumps don't know the concept of the responsibility, and it shows because their in ring work is erratic and undisciplined. But back to the 12 Steps, the 12 Steps are as follows:
The screen switches to a slide that has the 12 Steps Listed, which Biggs and Cyrus read aloud.
Biggs: First, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. Secondly, we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Third, we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Cyrus: Then, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Following that, we admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Sixth, we were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Wait, wait, wait! Before the idiots watching this attribute these to us, let me remind you that these are the 12 Step verbatim from the AA themselves. The Axis is not promoting, nor condemning the religious beliefs of ourselves, because quite frankly, that's none of your business! Also, neither one of us has had to use the 12 Step Program! When using the word “we”, we are referring the the AA. Just wanted to clear that up!
Biggs: Thanks partner! Back to the 12 Steps, we humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. After that, we made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Ninth on the list is we made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Cyrus: Tenth, we continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Following that,We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out. Finally, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The screen switches back from the list of the AA's 12 Steps to Biggs and Cyrus in the studio.
Biggs: Now O'Connors, we realize that you two drunken fools will more than likely ignore the knowledge and wisdom we've tried to impart on you to better yourselves, so Cyrus and I decided to come up with a 12 Step list of our own to help cope with the fact of your inevitable defeat this Wednesday at the hands of the Axis of Awesome! Take it away, Chris!
As Biggs and Cyrus take turns speaking, each step appears at the bottom of the screen.
Cyrus: First, you must admit that you are powerless to defeat the Axis of Awesome, that this match is well outside of your grasp!
Biggs: Secondly, come to believe in a power greater than yourselves, that being The Axis of Awesome, so that you may retain your sanity after defeat.
Cyrus: Third, make a decision to submit to the greatness of the Axis, however you chose to do so.
Biggs: Fourth, I think the AA got this one right, so we're going to use it again, make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself, including your deficiencies as wrestlers.
Cyrus: Fifth, admit to the Axis, yourselves, and everyone else the exact nature of not only your moral downfalls, but your inequities in the ring!
Biggs: Sixthly, be ready to have the Axis remove all these deficiencies by soundly defeating you two at Overdrive this Wednesday!
Cyrus: Seventh, humbly accept the beating we're about to give you!
Biggs: Eighth, make a list of all the people you've harmed, hurt, and otherwise offended by not only your alcoholism, but also your poor skills in the ring. This includes not only wrestlers you have injured with your ineptitude, but also all the fans who've had to put up with your lame excuse of wrestling that you two present each and every time you enter that ring!
Cyrus: Now we realize that the ninth step is going to probably be impossible for you two losers, as will the steps following, but we're going to share them anyways! Ninth, make direct amends where possible, apologizing to the wrestlers you've hurt, and to the fans. You guys have a lot of humbling out to do, because let's face it, you suck!
Biggs: Quite true, quite true! Tenth, continue to take a personal inventory, continually admitting areas that you can grow in, which will definitely be a lot!
Cyrus: Eleventh, seek through rigorous training and teaching ways to improve your lousy in ring skills, frequently checking in with the Axis to see if you're making any progress at all.
Biggs: Honestly, I don't think they're going to do that last one. But still, we must share the twelfth and final step, having come to realize your shortcomings and having the spiritual and physical awakening of actually becoming talented wrestlers, seek to carry out the message that the Axis so graciously bestowed upon you, and follow these principles we have shared with you every day of your lives!
Cyrus: We highly recommend that you follow these steps, because lets face it, you two have a snowball's chance in hell of beating us on Overdrive this Wednesday! I have held the APW Xtreme Championship for over nine months, the last few without wrestling the hardcore style, and my partner is bringing back honor and prestige to the APW Overdrive Championship! Together, we hold two out of the three championships here in APW, and that should be proof enough of our greatness!
Biggs: But if it's not, and you'd have to be crazy to think that it isn't, well, then we're just going to have to prove it to you first hand in the ring. Please try to not be too starstruck when you step into that ring with us, and for God's sake, please be sober! I don't want to have to smell the alcohol on your breath when I put you in a headlock! When you step into the ring with The Axis of Awesome this upcoming Wednesday, you will be going up against two of the greatest wrestlers this company, and the world, has ever seen. Oh yeah, before I forget, in your little counter speech that you two hooligans will eventually make against us, I repeat what I have told numerous opponents in the past, please try not to substitute cursing and yelling for making a coherent point. You'll just embarrass yourselves even more. Granted, you're going to be humiliated on Wednesday anyways, because not only am I out of this world...
Both: But we are AWESOME!
The two members of the Axis of Awesome chuckle a bit before the word's “Biggs' Shameless Plug of the Week!” flash across the screen.
Biggs: Well, we're almost out of time on this week's edition of First Contact, so it's time for the Shameless Plug! I'm going to let my guest host do the honors this week, so what's your shameless plug for the week, Chris?
Cyrus: Thanks Biggs for this honor. You're too kind! For my shameless plug this week, I'm plugging Hookers!
Biggs' face drops as Cyrus' eyes light up! The Xtreme Champion has an excited tone in his voice.
Biggs: That just sounded wrong!
Cyrus: I don't care! Hookers are amazing! They let a man take care of his physical needs, without the trouble and commitment of carrying on an actual relationship! It's better than porn!
Biggs: Folks, I apologize for this! The opinions expressed by my good friend are his alone, and do not reflect the opinion or thoughts of the First Contact staff or star, yours truly!
Cyrus: Don't cut me off, man! I haven't gotten to the best part!
Biggs: I'm sorry, pal, but the show is coming to an end! Until next week, keep watching the stars!
Cyrus: And porn!
Biggs slugs Cyrus in the shoulder as First Contact comes to a close. The APW logo and copyright flash across the screen.
***
As taping ends for First Contact, Biggs and Cyrus are joking around as the crew begins to tear down the set.
Biggs: I can't believe you used my show to promote an illegal activity like prostitution! Granted, it made for an interesting exchange, but if my minister sees this, oh boy am I in trouble!
Cyrus: It was just for laughs, man. Plus, hookers are legal in Nevada!
Biggs: That doesn't make it right, my friend. But different strokes for different folks, I guess. Hey, do you mind if I ask you something personal?
Cyrus: No problem. Fire away!
Biggs: How do you suppose that two fellas like us with drastically different moral standards became such good friends? I mean, I know we make a great team in the ring, and we have a lot of fun together, but a lot of times, I feel like a total buzz kill when you and Beast want to go have a night on the town!
Cyrus: Honestly, I have no freakin' idea! I know that my morals are a bit looser than yours, but I appreciate the fact that you don't try and force them on me. I know that I do somethings that make you uncomfortable, and you do some that make me uncomfortable, but in the end, we're bros, man. You got my back, and I got yours, and in the end, that's all that matters.
Biggs: Speaking about that, there's something I've been meaning to talk with you about, particularly what went down in your Blaze of Glory match with Slade Craven at Shockwave. I'll be honest, when Jay asked me that night if I had done anything else at the pay per view that might have been questionable, I didn't tell him about using a Super Soaker to drench Slade with lighter fluid. Since then, it's been eating me up, because I know that while I may be able to hide it from Jay, I know that God knows what I've done, and knows of my continual deception with Jay. As you know, my relationship with God is probably the most important aspect of my life, but since the pay per view, I feel like I've grown more distant from him, almost ashamed to approach him. Also, I've been having reoccurring nightmares about Slade burning me alive. It's been a very trying time for me emotionally, and spiritually.
Cyrus: Well, you know where I stand on the whole God thing, but I respect the fact that it's important to you. About the Slade situation, just realize that it was Max Carter who forced that ridiculous stipulation on the match, and if anyone's to blame, it's him. Also, Slade's already back in action, unfortunately, so obviously he didn't get burned too badly. But if things are really bothering you that badly, you should just man up and talk to Jay about it. In the short time I interacted with him, I was able to tell how much he cares about you, and if he's really your friend, he'll be able to understand where you're coming from, and forgive you. What you did has already happened, and you can't change it. And for what it's worth, I appreciate the fact that you helped prevent me from getting roasted at the pay per view!
Biggs: You're right! I'll give Jay a call tonight, and talk with him about it.
Cyrus: Not before we go out and have some fun! It's not everyday you get to hangout in Helsinki! We could go catch a soccer game and get s***-faced with all the hooligans! And after that, who knows! There's art museums and other historical stuff that you love, so we could probably check out some of those things after the game!
Biggs: That sounds like fun! Well, the soccer and historical parts, not the drunk part. I take it that I'm driving?
Cyrus: As always!
Biggs: Well, we should probably get changed out of our wrestling gear before we hit the town.
The two men make their way to their respective dressing rooms to get changed before heading out.
***
Later that night, Biggs and Cyrus reach their hotel after a fun day at the soccer pitch and a visit to the National Museum of Finland. Cyrus is slightly inebriated, and in good spirits, while Biggs is stone cold sober, but in good spirits as well.
Cyrus: Man, today was freakin' sweet, wasn't it!
Biggs: It certainly was. It's too bad that The Beast had to miss out, as his flight doesn't get here until tomorrow morning. Still, he should be here in time for Overdrive.
Cyrus: I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep well tonight!
Biggs: Well, I still need to call Jay, so I'm going to get headed to my room. I'll see you in the morning, bud!
Cyrus: Later man!
The two men give each other high fives before going their separate ways their individual rooms. Biggs slides his card key to gain access to a well sized room. The carpet is a rich red with yellow accents, and the curtains echo the yellow from the carpet. Biggs sits down on the rather large bed, and thinks to himself.
Biggs: “Well, it's the moment of truth. After this, there's no turning back. Hopefully this will help give me some peace with both God and Jay.”
Biggs whips out his cell phone, and dials the code to make an international call before dialing in Jay's number. He holds it up to his ear as it rings a few times. After a couple of rings, Jay picks up.
Biggs: Hey Jay, it's Gary. There's something I need to talk with you about...
