Post by biggs on Jun 16, 2009 23:25:20 GMT -4
Depeche Mode's “Spacewalker” plays the words “First Contact” flash across the screen. Biggs is seated in front of a web cam, and begins to speak.
Biggs: Welcome one and all, to the very first webisode of Biggs' First Contact, my brand new semi-weekly web-show. I say semi-weekly in the fact that I have really no idea how often I'll be doing these shows, be it once a month or every week, but I what I can tell you is that this will undoubtedly be the very best web-based wrestling talk show around. And while the focus will primarily be on professional wrestling, I may surprise you from time to time with other content. I'm here, live in Coahuila, Mexico, via the internet. Now let's talk some wrestling!
A graphic appears in the upper left corner of the screen, showing Level-One and Pence.
Biggs: Of course, the biggest story out of APW this week, besides my first victory over Jason Royce, is undoubtedly Pence's title victory at APW Mayhem this past Sunday. What's significant about this is that Pence actually pinned Level-One to become the champion. While I respect the fact that Pence didn't take the easy way out by pinning one of the other competitors, it did lead to quite possibly the most offensive promos the wrestling business has ever seen. Here's a clip of Level-One's response to his title loss on Wednesday Night Overdrive. The clip begins to play.
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Level-One: Some ask me why didn’t I just kick out of the Heavy artillery? The truth is; that would have taken energy. The match would’ve continued on and that was just not a chance I can take. Not many things have taking priority over the world championship; but my match with Crazyman? That was more important. It was more important than the APW, its championship, and you fans…
The crowd starts a ‘’You suck’’ chant; quickly the support he had a few weeks ago was dwindling away, but he didn’t care.
Level-One: See, I really do care about the APW though; and that’s why I had sacrificed the world championship. Walking into the match with Crazyman, I knew that although I promised myself I would walk out the winner; I never once lied to myself on weather or not I’d walk out the same. Crazyman pushed me past the limits; and he limited me to this wheel chair. I knew something like this would happen—and in doing so, I allowed Pence Weatherlight to pin me with the three count. You don’t understand how much I wanted to lift my shoulder off the canvas, get up, and smack the living shit out of Pence, but I couldn’t—because I have more self control than that. I am smarter than that. And I have a little thing called honor.
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Biggs: Okay, tell me how the heck laying down during a match is honorable? I know that Level-One had a match with Crazyman later, but as the champion, it is his responsibility to represent the company. Not the fans, mind you, because really, so long as they pay for tickets, what they think doesn't matter. As the top guy in the company, Level-One has a responsibility to always give his all and defend the title with dignity and intensity, neither of which are present when a wrestler knowingly, willingly loses a match. However, I don't think Level-One actually laid down, I think he flat out lost, and is now making excuses. That's right, Level-One, I'm calling you out as the BS artist you are. It's one thing to not care what the fans think of you, cause I don't, but by trying to justify your loss to the fans, well, I think you care more about their opinion than you let on. You know, your name got me thinking about how the first level in any videogame is always the easiest, always the most pathetic, and that fact just makes your name all the more appropriate!
Biggs laughs and flashes his trademark smirk before continuing to speak.
Biggs: Now later in the night, it was announced that Level-One would be getting his title rematch against Pence at APW's Test 4 the Best. Pence wasn't having a very good night thus far, having lost to Shadow via DQ when that weird megalomaniac Mr. Strange interfered for seemingly no reason. However, shortly after the announcement of the title match, Pence was found backstage, knocked out. Here's a clip.
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The camera peels out from the live crowd, and quickly jumps to the parking lot. The camera moving forward quickly stumbles upon a body laid out onto the stone cold concrete. Upon further investigation, it's Pence Weatherlight. Sprawled out onto the concrete; with his free hand he clutches his world title even while unconscious.
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Biggs: Now common sense would dictate that Level-One was behind the attack, but seeing as he is currently “wheelchair bound,” it would be far to obvious for him to be faking an injury to get the advantage over Pence. While I wouldn't put it past Level-One to pull such a cowardly move, I have a different theory as to what happened. You see, I think that Pence Weatherlight faked the attack on himself to try and drum up support from the fans! Pence is one of the guys who inexplicably feels that he needs not only to please the funs, but their undivided support, and what better way to gain said support than building up the odds against yourself! I'll be honest, I absolutely cannot understand how anyone can feel that they need the fans' support, because let's face it, they aren't the ones that wrestle the match, they aren't the ones whose skill determines the victor in that ring. So Pence, here's a little advice, free of charge, quit caring about the fans, they'll only hold you back. Once you stop caring about what they think, you'll be able to do things you never thought imaginable! Pence, if you want to keep that title for any significant amount of time, you'd do well to heed my words.
Biggs pauses to adjust his shades, as a graph shows up in the upper left hand corner of the screen.
Biggs: Moving on, I'd like to share some information that I found on the internet this week, courtesy of Pro Wrestling Websource, they did two separate polls this week, both of which I was the highest vote getter. The first one I'm quite proud of, as I was voted by quite a wide margin as the most innovative wrestler active today, though the second one took me slightly aback. You see, the second poll cited me as the most obnoxious wrestler, and while I know that a lot of my style involves me getting under the skin of my opponents, well, to be declared the most obnoxious when folks like the A.K.A. are around, well, that's just baffling. Still, the first poll is quite an honor.
The graphic in the corner changes to a picture of Chris Cyrus.
Biggs: Also this week, my good friend, the wrestler formerly known as the Hardcore Kid, decided to ditch the gimmick and wrestle under his real name, Chris Cyrus. Let me be the first to tell you Chris that I support you in this decision one hundred percent, and I hope that this change will allow you to shake the stigma of being merely a hardcore brawler. I'd be more than happy to train with you to help you expand your repertoire, and I look forward to seeing what you'll be able to accomplish now. Best of luck to you, buddy!
The Test for the Best logo appears in the upper left corner.
Biggs: On Sunday, July 5, APW's Test for the Best pay-per-view will be airing live from Mexico City, Mexico, and yours truly has been entered into the eight man tournament to determine the #1 Contender for Pence Weatherlight's APW Heavyweight Championship at the August Shockwave event. And while it would be quite appropriate for me to get a title match at an event called Shockwave, I have to win three matches in one night to get that opportunity. However, looking down the list of names involved in the single-elimination tourney, I really shouldn't have any problem accomplishing just that. Besides myself, the other competitors include John “He's so Green, he's a danger to others” Green, Jason “Needs a sweater because he's ice cold” Royce, Johnny Hardcore “Gay Porn”, “Look Ma, I'm Drunk” Slade Craven, Jesse “The Stereotype” Nunez, “I need my mommy's help crossing the” Streets Wilson, and a yet to be announced mystery competitor. Now, I'll only have to defeat three of these morons to claim the ultimate prize, but the fact of the matter is that I could take on all seven, and still emerge the new #1 Contender. Now I know some of you are saying to yourselves, “How can Biggs be so sure of himself? Hasn't he only won one match in APW?” Well, to all the naysayers out there, let me just tell you, I don't see myself as arrogant or braggadocios, rather, I am confident in my skill and abilities. Anyone who overlooks me in this tournament is in for a very rude awakening, and I will make them pay dearly for their insolence. I guarantee that I will leave Mexico City as the new #1 Contender for the APW Heavyweight Championship!
The words “Shameless Plug of the Night” flashes across the bottom of the screen.
Biggs: Now it's time for my Shameless Plug of the Night. In this segment, I will shamelessly plug something that I think each and every one of you watching should be aware of. Now while it wouldn't be a bad idea for me to plug my new DVD, Shockwave: The Very Best of Biggs volume 1, the fact is that I'll have more than enough opportunity to peddle my DVD. Rather, tonight, I am recommending that each and everyone of you go out and see the latest Pixar movie, Up. Technologically, this film is beautifully animated, but like any good Pixar movie, it's the rich characters that will draw you in and make you love this movie! I certainly know that I did! And that's all I've got for my Shameless Plug of the Night!
The words disappear from the screen as Biggs adjusts his shades again.
Biggs: Now unfortunately, I'm running a bit short on time, so I'm going to have to bring this in for landing. So I'm going to close on talking about my match with Assassin this week. Now last week, I distinctly remember challenging Shadow to a non-title match, because let's be honest, the Overdrive Title is not worth pursuing. Rather, I wanted to face Shadow to make him eat his words that spewed from his mouth at the Mayhem pay-per-view during my match against Mr. Strange. Shadow made the claim that I was some young upstart that was put in his place by the A.K.A on the Overdrive prior, but the fact of the matter is that I've been in this business for five plus years. I am hardly an upstart, and I certainly don't have to make a name for myself, because I already have. I'm merely here in the APW to further cement my stellar legacy, and I want Shadow to find out first hand what it feels like to have somebody else make his legacy at their expense.
Biggs takes off his shades and talks directly into the camera.
Biggs: But Shadow, either you were too afraid to accept my challenge, or you flat out ignored it, both of which are grave mistakes. If the former is true, well, you'll have to face your fear eventually, and if it's the second, well, your disrespect does nothing but fuel my rage and focus on taking you down. It's only a matter of time, Shadow, before we meet in that ring, and I can't wait to prove you wrong. This week, Assassin will have to do. And believe me Assassin, I'm looking forward to this opportunity to gain some measure of payback for the loss in my tag team debut here in APW. Assassin, you came out on top in the Anarchy Cell against your running buddy, Slade Craven, but don't think that you'll have the same luck against me. You see, while you and Slade were going at it in arguably one of the most dangerous matches in wrestling today, the fact remained that you two were friends, and would perhaps subconsciously hold back a bit, not wanting to permanently injure your friend. However, I have no qualms with hurting you, Assassin. With Test for the Best coming up, I've got to do absolutely everything I can to gain momentum heading into the tournament, and I don't mind steamrolling over you at Overdrive this week. Prepare yourself, Assassin, because I've wrestled you before, and I've learned from that experience. You will not be wrestling the same man you wrestled a few weeks ago. You will be wrestling a man who is out of this world! Goodnight, folks, and thanks for watching!
Biggs' First Contact comes to a close as the APW copyright flashes across the screen.
