Post by Streets Wilson on Jul 20, 2009 22:50:19 GMT -4
(The scene opens to Streets Wilson sitting down with none other than Conan O-Brien, host of the legendary Tonight Show)
Conan: Ok and we’re back! Now, for those in the audience that may not really understand what you are about, just set up this clip for them.
Streets Wilson: yeah, this is me and my home-boy Ghetto Joe, just chillin out on a normal day.
Conan (slightly confused) : Ok this is Streets Wilson and “Ghetto” Joe- lets take a look)
(the clip begins)
Ghetto Joe: Yeah, lets get some hookers and fire up that FUCKIN GRILL
(Streets Wilson looks at Joe with an expression of sheer horror on his face)
(Wilson looks as if he is about to say something when suddenly lights are flashing all over the place, and the SWAT team storms the yard. Streets demeanor quickly changes and he can be seen heating up the metal spatula as the police move in on him. He throws his hands up in the air and plays dumb, leaving the spatula heating up. The police are screaming loudly for him to get on his knees. Ghetto Joe can be seen in back-round ripping off one officers mustache in a grueling display before he is beaten to the ground. When the officer cuffs Wilsons first hand, Streets immediately jumps up and elbows him in the eye, then quickly spins around and jams the heel of his boot upwards into the chin of of the other cop. Streets jumps forward spinning around the other way as he does so swinging the free cuff end directly into another officers testicles: His eyes bug out of his head)
Officer: FROYN LAVEN
(he vomits and slumps to the ground unconscious, as the camera pans back to Streets Wilson, a bullet strikes him in the abdomen, causing blood to spatter outward in slow motion. Streets calmly looks down at the wound)
Streets Wilson: Guns… Sir, … how dare you?
(The cop looks extremely confused and nervous, and sweat is now visibly gathering on his face)
Cop: I-
(Suddenly a whole barbecue grill slams into the cops face)
Cop: FLUUH!!!
(he flies backwards and collapses underneath the grill)
(The cop falls to the ground and is visibly squirming around in unfathomable pain)
(Streets Wilson turns directly towards the camera screen and smiles)
Streets Wilson (removing his sunglasses): I guess I fought the law, and the law LOST
(He tosses his glasses off screen and spins around on one foot, screaming out “WHOOOO” as he rotates)
Streets Wilson: YEAH BABY!
(Ghetto Joe stumbles over, sporting bruises from the police beating)
Ghetto Joe: STREETS, We’ve got to get the FUCK out of here. We just committed all sorts of crimes!
(Streets looks at him)
Streets Wilson: Oh come on Joe, your over exaterating.
Joe: AND YOU’VE BEEN SHOT!!!!!!
Streets Wilson: it’s just a flesh wound…
(Pained and fading voices can be heard in the back-round)
Cop: SEND BACKUP NOW OFFICERS DOWN. I REPEAT SHOTS FIRED: PERP HAS RESPONDED WITH A GRILL-
(a helicopter searchlight begins to scan around nearby)
Streets Wilson: Maybe we SHOULD get out of here…
(they both stumble off towards a nearby police vehicle and hop inside, with Wilson at the drivers seat)
Streets Wilson: Ooh… a police cruiser! I wonder if this is the siren..
(he flips a switch and the windshield wipers begin to move back and forth)
Streets Wilson: … Shit…
Ghetto Joe: STEP ON IT
Streets Wilson (looking around at the floor): Step on what?
(Joe looks at him with a blank expression)
Ghetto Joe: THE FUCKING PEDAL MAN!
(Streets looks down at the pedal)
Streets Wilson: Yeah…
(he floors it off into the distance)
(Hours later the stolen police cruiser can be seen in a ditch on the side of the road, and a couple miles down the road Streets and Joe are sitting down in a diner ordering food)
Streets Wilson: Yeah pasta but not the damn ZITI, gimme the spaghetti… Yeah, but for the pasta… actually you know what FUCK THE PASTA: THROW IT THE GARBAGE.
Waiter: … We haven’t started making it yet sir…
Streets Wilson: Just give me the mozzarella sticks with it though
Waiter: With what?
Streets Wilson: … the food
Ghetto Joe: Now for the pasta prima-vera-
(the police burst through the front door and shoot into the air)
Cop: FREEZE
(Streets Wilson freezes as half chewed breadsticks fall out of his open mouth)
Streets Wilson: oh shit Joe lets hide in the bathroom
(They discreetly crawl into the men’s room)
(As they are finding their hiding place the police can be seen getting into a altercation with the Hells Angels sitting at a nearby table)
Hells Angel: You know, we don’t like “your kind” around here copper
(the nervous cop points his pistol at the Angel, which causes the other Hells Angels to pull out firearms of their own and point them at the cops. Within 2 seconds bullets are flying all over the place: several innocent people getting hit. The blood curdling screams can be heard inside the bathroom that Streets and Joe are hiding in)
Streets Wilson: Oh fuck…
Joe: THIS IS CRAZY, WHY DO I HANG OUT WITH YOU?
Streets Wilson: alright lets just wait it out… they’ll just kill each other. I hate cops but I’m not a fan of the Hells Angels either… not since they tried to move in on the Charter Oaks territory
Joe: Charter Oaks?
Streets Wilson: Yeah… Connecticut’s biker gang…
Joe: Oh… right.
(At this point, after what seems like a rather long period of nearby gun violence, the chaos and noise finally subsides.)
Streets Wilson: Alright… slowly now
(Streets peeks his head out the bathroom door to see dozens of dead bodies strewn across the place)
Streets Wilson: …
(Streets takes a step back, pulls out what must be a 10 inch blade and angrily kicks the door open)
Streets Wilson: alright everybody just COOL THE FUCK DOWN
(he spins around surveying all the dead bodies laying motionless on the floor)
(Streets can be seen standing in the middle of the massacre lighting a freakishly large blunt.)
Streets Wilson (looking towards the camera screen): So who really runs this shit?
(the video feed is cut and the screen becomes blank. It then changes to show Streets Wilson sitting down with Conan O’Brien on the Tonight Show)
Conan O’Brien: Dear lord! That was the longest fucking clip I’ve ever seen!
Streets Wilson: Take it easy Co-Co, its going to be even crazier of a ride when I destroy this “mystery opponent”.
Conan: What’s this about a mystery?
Streets Wilson: The only “mystery” around here is who the shit is dumb enough to step into the ring with Streets Wilson.
Conan: it says here that you’ve lost an insufferable number of matches as of late…
Streets Wilson: PSHHHH. Yeah, that’s what she said
(Conan looks extremely confused)
Conan: I uh…
Streets Wilson: Maybe that one went over your head there Co-Co. This crowd isn’t sophisticated enough to get that one.
(Conan remains Speachless)
Streets Wilson: And maybe this unsophisticated crowd didn’t quite get the part where I left President Jeff to his demise the other week when I was supposed to be being his bodyguard
Conan: Who is President J-
Streets Wilson: Well that poor bastard should of known that Streets Wilson doesn’t take orders from A.N.Y.B.O.D.Y
Conan: But you were hired-
Streets Wilson: EH EH EH!!!! I said A.N.Y.B.O.D.Y!
Streets Wilson: I watch that effeminate A-Holes back for so long and what do I have to show for it? I never once got an undeserved title shot… or any of the other things I was entitled to by aligning myself with the company’s owner. Everybody knows by this point how Streets Wilson operates. I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I want. Shit wasn’t working out the way I wanted with Jeff… so I dropped his ass. That’s right, Streets Wilson is on such a level that when by all accounts it is him that is holding the alliance down: he’ll still be the one to drop YOU
Conan: Jesus, this is so hard to understand when you refer to yourself in the third person…
Streets Wilson (with a now angry look on his face) : WELL THAT’S HOW STREETS WILSON DO
Conan: OK OK…
Streets Wilson (rising from his chair) : HEY!! All you humanoids out there need to know is: Streets Wilson is still RUNNIN THIS SHIT. You think Streets Wilson is scared of President Jeff? Scared of a “Mystery Opponent”? It’s only fitting the opponent is a mystery, because after I’m done with them, they’ll matter no more than any of the other “mystery opponents” I’ve killed and left in back alleys all over the fucking world.
(Wilson throws his hands up in the air in victory and walks off the set)
Conan: Ok and we’re back! Now, for those in the audience that may not really understand what you are about, just set up this clip for them.
Streets Wilson: yeah, this is me and my home-boy Ghetto Joe, just chillin out on a normal day.
Conan (slightly confused) : Ok this is Streets Wilson and “Ghetto” Joe- lets take a look)
(the clip begins)
Ghetto Joe: Yeah, lets get some hookers and fire up that FUCKIN GRILL
(Streets Wilson looks at Joe with an expression of sheer horror on his face)
(Wilson looks as if he is about to say something when suddenly lights are flashing all over the place, and the SWAT team storms the yard. Streets demeanor quickly changes and he can be seen heating up the metal spatula as the police move in on him. He throws his hands up in the air and plays dumb, leaving the spatula heating up. The police are screaming loudly for him to get on his knees. Ghetto Joe can be seen in back-round ripping off one officers mustache in a grueling display before he is beaten to the ground. When the officer cuffs Wilsons first hand, Streets immediately jumps up and elbows him in the eye, then quickly spins around and jams the heel of his boot upwards into the chin of of the other cop. Streets jumps forward spinning around the other way as he does so swinging the free cuff end directly into another officers testicles: His eyes bug out of his head)
Officer: FROYN LAVEN
(he vomits and slumps to the ground unconscious, as the camera pans back to Streets Wilson, a bullet strikes him in the abdomen, causing blood to spatter outward in slow motion. Streets calmly looks down at the wound)
Streets Wilson: Guns… Sir, … how dare you?
(The cop looks extremely confused and nervous, and sweat is now visibly gathering on his face)
Cop: I-
(Suddenly a whole barbecue grill slams into the cops face)
Cop: FLUUH!!!
(he flies backwards and collapses underneath the grill)
(The cop falls to the ground and is visibly squirming around in unfathomable pain)
(Streets Wilson turns directly towards the camera screen and smiles)
Streets Wilson (removing his sunglasses): I guess I fought the law, and the law LOST
(He tosses his glasses off screen and spins around on one foot, screaming out “WHOOOO” as he rotates)
Streets Wilson: YEAH BABY!
(Ghetto Joe stumbles over, sporting bruises from the police beating)
Ghetto Joe: STREETS, We’ve got to get the FUCK out of here. We just committed all sorts of crimes!
(Streets looks at him)
Streets Wilson: Oh come on Joe, your over exaterating.
Joe: AND YOU’VE BEEN SHOT!!!!!!
Streets Wilson: it’s just a flesh wound…
(Pained and fading voices can be heard in the back-round)
Cop: SEND BACKUP NOW OFFICERS DOWN. I REPEAT SHOTS FIRED: PERP HAS RESPONDED WITH A GRILL-
(a helicopter searchlight begins to scan around nearby)
Streets Wilson: Maybe we SHOULD get out of here…
(they both stumble off towards a nearby police vehicle and hop inside, with Wilson at the drivers seat)
Streets Wilson: Ooh… a police cruiser! I wonder if this is the siren..
(he flips a switch and the windshield wipers begin to move back and forth)
Streets Wilson: … Shit…
Ghetto Joe: STEP ON IT
Streets Wilson (looking around at the floor): Step on what?
(Joe looks at him with a blank expression)
Ghetto Joe: THE FUCKING PEDAL MAN!
(Streets looks down at the pedal)
Streets Wilson: Yeah…
(he floors it off into the distance)
(Hours later the stolen police cruiser can be seen in a ditch on the side of the road, and a couple miles down the road Streets and Joe are sitting down in a diner ordering food)
Streets Wilson: Yeah pasta but not the damn ZITI, gimme the spaghetti… Yeah, but for the pasta… actually you know what FUCK THE PASTA: THROW IT THE GARBAGE.
Waiter: … We haven’t started making it yet sir…
Streets Wilson: Just give me the mozzarella sticks with it though
Waiter: With what?
Streets Wilson: … the food
Ghetto Joe: Now for the pasta prima-vera-
(the police burst through the front door and shoot into the air)
Cop: FREEZE
(Streets Wilson freezes as half chewed breadsticks fall out of his open mouth)
Streets Wilson: oh shit Joe lets hide in the bathroom
(They discreetly crawl into the men’s room)
(As they are finding their hiding place the police can be seen getting into a altercation with the Hells Angels sitting at a nearby table)
Hells Angel: You know, we don’t like “your kind” around here copper
(the nervous cop points his pistol at the Angel, which causes the other Hells Angels to pull out firearms of their own and point them at the cops. Within 2 seconds bullets are flying all over the place: several innocent people getting hit. The blood curdling screams can be heard inside the bathroom that Streets and Joe are hiding in)
Streets Wilson: Oh fuck…
Joe: THIS IS CRAZY, WHY DO I HANG OUT WITH YOU?
Streets Wilson: alright lets just wait it out… they’ll just kill each other. I hate cops but I’m not a fan of the Hells Angels either… not since they tried to move in on the Charter Oaks territory
Joe: Charter Oaks?
Streets Wilson: Yeah… Connecticut’s biker gang…
Joe: Oh… right.
(At this point, after what seems like a rather long period of nearby gun violence, the chaos and noise finally subsides.)
Streets Wilson: Alright… slowly now
(Streets peeks his head out the bathroom door to see dozens of dead bodies strewn across the place)
Streets Wilson: …
(Streets takes a step back, pulls out what must be a 10 inch blade and angrily kicks the door open)
Streets Wilson: alright everybody just COOL THE FUCK DOWN
(he spins around surveying all the dead bodies laying motionless on the floor)
(Streets can be seen standing in the middle of the massacre lighting a freakishly large blunt.)
Streets Wilson (looking towards the camera screen): So who really runs this shit?
(the video feed is cut and the screen becomes blank. It then changes to show Streets Wilson sitting down with Conan O’Brien on the Tonight Show)
Conan O’Brien: Dear lord! That was the longest fucking clip I’ve ever seen!
Streets Wilson: Take it easy Co-Co, its going to be even crazier of a ride when I destroy this “mystery opponent”.
Conan: What’s this about a mystery?
Streets Wilson: The only “mystery” around here is who the shit is dumb enough to step into the ring with Streets Wilson.
Conan: it says here that you’ve lost an insufferable number of matches as of late…
Streets Wilson: PSHHHH. Yeah, that’s what she said
(Conan looks extremely confused)
Conan: I uh…
Streets Wilson: Maybe that one went over your head there Co-Co. This crowd isn’t sophisticated enough to get that one.
(Conan remains Speachless)
Streets Wilson: And maybe this unsophisticated crowd didn’t quite get the part where I left President Jeff to his demise the other week when I was supposed to be being his bodyguard
Conan: Who is President J-
Streets Wilson: Well that poor bastard should of known that Streets Wilson doesn’t take orders from A.N.Y.B.O.D.Y
Conan: But you were hired-
Streets Wilson: EH EH EH!!!! I said A.N.Y.B.O.D.Y!
Streets Wilson: I watch that effeminate A-Holes back for so long and what do I have to show for it? I never once got an undeserved title shot… or any of the other things I was entitled to by aligning myself with the company’s owner. Everybody knows by this point how Streets Wilson operates. I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I want. Shit wasn’t working out the way I wanted with Jeff… so I dropped his ass. That’s right, Streets Wilson is on such a level that when by all accounts it is him that is holding the alliance down: he’ll still be the one to drop YOU
Conan: Jesus, this is so hard to understand when you refer to yourself in the third person…
Streets Wilson (with a now angry look on his face) : WELL THAT’S HOW STREETS WILSON DO
Conan: OK OK…
Streets Wilson (rising from his chair) : HEY!! All you humanoids out there need to know is: Streets Wilson is still RUNNIN THIS SHIT. You think Streets Wilson is scared of President Jeff? Scared of a “Mystery Opponent”? It’s only fitting the opponent is a mystery, because after I’m done with them, they’ll matter no more than any of the other “mystery opponents” I’ve killed and left in back alleys all over the fucking world.
(Wilson throws his hands up in the air in victory and walks off the set)
