Post by Jesse Nuñez™ on Jun 10, 2009 14:27:35 GMT -4
* The scene opens up with a man sitting at a computer. The man has a thick brown beard and is fat. He is wearing tight white jeans and a “Hardcore Kid” t-shirt that is sold on APWshop.com. He is on Facebook and sees that The Hardcore Kid has posted a new blog. He jumps up out of his seat with joy and does what looks like the Macarena.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Yay, my idol has posted a new blog! That is so HARDCORE!”
* The fat bearded Hardcore Kid fan sits back into his seat and begins to read from his idol. He has his knees to his chest as he is curled up by the computer with his eyes glued to the screen.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Twister wasn’t the better man Hardcore Kid! You were! You were!”
* Says the Fat Hardcore Kid Fan as a tear goes down his cheek. He continues to read the blog while a song by Adam Lambert plays from his iTunes player on his computer. The man finishes reading the blog his idol left on Facebook for all fifteen of his fans to read from Arkansas. The man wipes his tears away and blows his nose. He then looks down into his lap.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Shit, I jizz in my pants again! Gosh Dammit!”
* He looks up at the computer.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Who the Hell is Jesse Noones anyways?”
* The man types in Wikipedia in the address bar and types in Jesse Noones in the search bar on the website. It comes up page cannot be found. The man laughs.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “He doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. What a loser.”
* He notices there is a link at the top of the page that reads “Jesse Nuñez.” He clicks the link and he does take him to Jesse’s Wikipedia page. He skims through the page.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “He has won a lot of titles. A lot of World titles. He’s only twenty years old? I’m older than him by twenty six years! Oh my God, he’s been in two movies!? He has three cd’s!? That’s his wife? She’s smoking hot!”
“Don’t matter, The Hardcore Kid will show him what being an APW Original is all about!”
* He then types in the address bar, “Youtube.com.” It takes him to his main screen and looks through his empty friends request box and sees he has no comments on any of his “My Little Pony” montages. He searches “Jesse Nuñez” in the search box. 150 Pages of videos show up. On the first page he sees “Jesse Nuñez Titantron” and clicks it. The video begins to play.*
* The video ends.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “That was pretty cool, if you’re into that kinda stuff where the guy looks like a total bad ass, which I’m not because that kinda stuff is gay unlike my Hardcore Kid montage I did a few weeks ago that has him trying on some new pants at K Mart in the dressing room where I hacked into their security cameras and stole footage to put into my video. Take that Elmo!”
* The man laughs to himself. He clicks the back button and sees a new video was uploaded by a fan. He clicks the video and the title of the video reads “New Jesse Nuñez Promo for APW.” He reads the description while the video is loading.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Jesse Nuñez talks about his latest match up in Action Packed Wrestling as he takes on The Hardcore Kid on Overdrive. Hmm I have to see what this little bitch has to say about my man.”
* He presses play and the video begins to play.*
* The scene in the video opens up to a stage with a large “Action Packed Wrestling” banner over it in Mexico City. A person in the crowd in front of the stage is filming this with his video camera, he is centered of the stage a few rows from the stage, giving him a better shot at the scene. Max Carter is standing on the stage with a microphone as he has been talking promoting the tour in Mexico.*
Max Carter: “Now let me introduce to you a man that has wrestled all over the world, who has taken Hollywood by storm, and has won many World Championships, not to mention recently helping me to get revenge on President Jeff and Streets Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome, Jesse Nuñez!”
* The whole crowd begins to cheer as the speakers on stage begin to play “Basic Thugonomics Remix” as Jesse Nuñez comes walking out onto the stage in his usual ring attire. Max Carter hands him the microphone and walks off the stage behind the curtains from which Jesse came from.*
Jesse Nuñez: “¿¡Qué Paso México!? ¿¡Usted está listo a ver el mayor luchar con el espectáculo alguna vez!?”
* The fans around the stage all cheer and begin to chant “APW” over and over again. Jesse smiles and begins to talk over the fans to continue on to what he has to say.*
Jesse Nuñez: “Muy bien, muy bien. Now as you all saw at Mayhem my boy Max Carter and I showed Hurricane Jeff and Streets Wilson who really runs the APW. That’s right, they both thought that Max couldn’t handle his own business in the ring, but it just goes to show you, that just a few weeks of training with me and you too could run things in that ring.”
“Now at the pay per view I had a challenge and I came out with a victory. This week Hurricane Jeff wants to put me in the ring against the current Xtreme Champion in APW The Hardcore Kid.”
* The fans boo.*
Jesse Nuñez: “He thinks that The Hardcore Kid can beat me or do even worse by ending my career in pro wrestling. So what is the first step in The Hardcore Kid’s master plan on beating me? He writes another Facebook blog for all the fat bearded weird men could read telling me that he is gonna beat me on Overdrive. He even talks about how EwC is a joke making my United States Championship a joke to him as well. But if that is the case then why is it that the current APW World Champ is also a member of the EwC roster? If the EwC is such a joke then why is it that three current or former EwC superstars have held the APW World Championship before the so called APW Original?”
“Looks like The Hardcore Kid has been too busy updating his Facebook status to realize that he is being overlooked, to realize he needs to get his ass into the gym and train to become a better wrestler. Yeah you’ve accomplished so much in your short career, but so have I. I’m twenty-two next month, but I held my first World Championship at seventeen years old. I had to lie about my age for my first two years of my career just so I can wrestle in the ring, steel cage matches, Hell even Triple Steel Cage matches.”
“Ya see Hardcore Kid, you may think you are better than me just because you wear a title around yo’ waist, but you have to realize who you are truly dealing with. I am The Prodigy for a damn reason. There is a reason why I can talk shit to the owner of yo’ APW, it is because he fears me. He fears me and everything I stand for.”
“So go ahead Hardcore, taunt me with that Xtreme Title of yours. Put it in my face and laugh that you’re a champ with this company. I’ll just spit at it and laugh in yo’ face like everyone else has done at yo’ pathetic career as a wrestler. And by some chance that you do get the upper hand on me in our match, just remember that I am just one Resurrection away from putting you down for good!”
“I am the dream and Hardcore Kid, you’re just the dreamer.”
* “Basic Thugonimcs Remix begins to play through the speakers and the fans cheer before the video ends. The scene goes back to the fat Hardcore Kid fan and he sits there naked in his seat. His hairy body covered in sweat.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Good thing I took off my pants, I jizz on myself again.”
* Yelling from outside his room door is heard.*
The Mom: “Honey are you going to come down for dinner?”
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “I already did mom!”
The Mom: “What?”
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “I’ll be down in a minute mom!”
The Mom: “Okay sweetie.”
* The scene begins to fade.*
End of Scene
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Yay, my idol has posted a new blog! That is so HARDCORE!”
* The fat bearded Hardcore Kid fan sits back into his seat and begins to read from his idol. He has his knees to his chest as he is curled up by the computer with his eyes glued to the screen.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Twister wasn’t the better man Hardcore Kid! You were! You were!”
* Says the Fat Hardcore Kid Fan as a tear goes down his cheek. He continues to read the blog while a song by Adam Lambert plays from his iTunes player on his computer. The man finishes reading the blog his idol left on Facebook for all fifteen of his fans to read from Arkansas. The man wipes his tears away and blows his nose. He then looks down into his lap.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Shit, I jizz in my pants again! Gosh Dammit!”
* He looks up at the computer.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Who the Hell is Jesse Noones anyways?”
* The man types in Wikipedia in the address bar and types in Jesse Noones in the search bar on the website. It comes up page cannot be found. The man laughs.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “He doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. What a loser.”
* He notices there is a link at the top of the page that reads “Jesse Nuñez.” He clicks the link and he does take him to Jesse’s Wikipedia page. He skims through the page.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “He has won a lot of titles. A lot of World titles. He’s only twenty years old? I’m older than him by twenty six years! Oh my God, he’s been in two movies!? He has three cd’s!? That’s his wife? She’s smoking hot!”
“Don’t matter, The Hardcore Kid will show him what being an APW Original is all about!”
* He then types in the address bar, “Youtube.com.” It takes him to his main screen and looks through his empty friends request box and sees he has no comments on any of his “My Little Pony” montages. He searches “Jesse Nuñez” in the search box. 150 Pages of videos show up. On the first page he sees “Jesse Nuñez Titantron” and clicks it. The video begins to play.*
* The video ends.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “That was pretty cool, if you’re into that kinda stuff where the guy looks like a total bad ass, which I’m not because that kinda stuff is gay unlike my Hardcore Kid montage I did a few weeks ago that has him trying on some new pants at K Mart in the dressing room where I hacked into their security cameras and stole footage to put into my video. Take that Elmo!”
* The man laughs to himself. He clicks the back button and sees a new video was uploaded by a fan. He clicks the video and the title of the video reads “New Jesse Nuñez Promo for APW.” He reads the description while the video is loading.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Jesse Nuñez talks about his latest match up in Action Packed Wrestling as he takes on The Hardcore Kid on Overdrive. Hmm I have to see what this little bitch has to say about my man.”
* He presses play and the video begins to play.*
* The scene in the video opens up to a stage with a large “Action Packed Wrestling” banner over it in Mexico City. A person in the crowd in front of the stage is filming this with his video camera, he is centered of the stage a few rows from the stage, giving him a better shot at the scene. Max Carter is standing on the stage with a microphone as he has been talking promoting the tour in Mexico.*
Max Carter: “Now let me introduce to you a man that has wrestled all over the world, who has taken Hollywood by storm, and has won many World Championships, not to mention recently helping me to get revenge on President Jeff and Streets Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome, Jesse Nuñez!”
* The whole crowd begins to cheer as the speakers on stage begin to play “Basic Thugonomics Remix” as Jesse Nuñez comes walking out onto the stage in his usual ring attire. Max Carter hands him the microphone and walks off the stage behind the curtains from which Jesse came from.*
Jesse Nuñez: “¿¡Qué Paso México!? ¿¡Usted está listo a ver el mayor luchar con el espectáculo alguna vez!?”
* The fans around the stage all cheer and begin to chant “APW” over and over again. Jesse smiles and begins to talk over the fans to continue on to what he has to say.*
Jesse Nuñez: “Muy bien, muy bien. Now as you all saw at Mayhem my boy Max Carter and I showed Hurricane Jeff and Streets Wilson who really runs the APW. That’s right, they both thought that Max couldn’t handle his own business in the ring, but it just goes to show you, that just a few weeks of training with me and you too could run things in that ring.”
“Now at the pay per view I had a challenge and I came out with a victory. This week Hurricane Jeff wants to put me in the ring against the current Xtreme Champion in APW The Hardcore Kid.”
* The fans boo.*
Jesse Nuñez: “He thinks that The Hardcore Kid can beat me or do even worse by ending my career in pro wrestling. So what is the first step in The Hardcore Kid’s master plan on beating me? He writes another Facebook blog for all the fat bearded weird men could read telling me that he is gonna beat me on Overdrive. He even talks about how EwC is a joke making my United States Championship a joke to him as well. But if that is the case then why is it that the current APW World Champ is also a member of the EwC roster? If the EwC is such a joke then why is it that three current or former EwC superstars have held the APW World Championship before the so called APW Original?”
“Looks like The Hardcore Kid has been too busy updating his Facebook status to realize that he is being overlooked, to realize he needs to get his ass into the gym and train to become a better wrestler. Yeah you’ve accomplished so much in your short career, but so have I. I’m twenty-two next month, but I held my first World Championship at seventeen years old. I had to lie about my age for my first two years of my career just so I can wrestle in the ring, steel cage matches, Hell even Triple Steel Cage matches.”
“Ya see Hardcore Kid, you may think you are better than me just because you wear a title around yo’ waist, but you have to realize who you are truly dealing with. I am The Prodigy for a damn reason. There is a reason why I can talk shit to the owner of yo’ APW, it is because he fears me. He fears me and everything I stand for.”
“So go ahead Hardcore, taunt me with that Xtreme Title of yours. Put it in my face and laugh that you’re a champ with this company. I’ll just spit at it and laugh in yo’ face like everyone else has done at yo’ pathetic career as a wrestler. And by some chance that you do get the upper hand on me in our match, just remember that I am just one Resurrection away from putting you down for good!”
“I am the dream and Hardcore Kid, you’re just the dreamer.”
* “Basic Thugonimcs Remix begins to play through the speakers and the fans cheer before the video ends. The scene goes back to the fat Hardcore Kid fan and he sits there naked in his seat. His hairy body covered in sweat.*
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “Good thing I took off my pants, I jizz on myself again.”
* Yelling from outside his room door is heard.*
The Mom: “Honey are you going to come down for dinner?”
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “I already did mom!”
The Mom: “What?”
Fat Hardcore Kid Fan: “I’ll be down in a minute mom!”
The Mom: “Okay sweetie.”
* The scene begins to fade.*
End of Scene
