Post by Streets Wilson on Feb 9, 2009 18:40:48 GMT -4
(The scene opens up to an empty room. Slowly, the man known only as Streets Wilson is slowly wheeled in on a wheelchair. There is a dark black cape draped over him. He is looking more dreary and dull than ever before… As if something very near and dear to him has just died. Eventually he begins to speak)
Streets Wilson: Yes, it’s true… as you can all plainly see, this recent attack by Link… has turned Streets Wilson emo.
(Audible gasps are heard from off screen)
Streets Wilson: Yes… it’s finally happened… Who knows what … “emotional” shit I’m going to do now th-
(Streets Wilson dramatically jumps up out of the wheelchair and throws the black cape from his body, revealing his usual attire)
Streets Wilson: AH HAH!
(He begins to laugh manically)
Streets Wilson: You thought you turn Streets Wilson emo Link? There is no attack cowardly enough to bring Streets Wilson down. Big deal guys, you snuck up behind THE MAN and hit a devastating “jackknife power bomb” and… “Power bomb-to-face buster”… ok “small eyes”, that’s all well and good… but did you happen to think of the repercussions of this act? What’s going to happen when Streets Wilson grabs you by your stupid little trachea and throws your insignificant ass all over his ring? What’s going to happen when you actually have to fight someone? Streets Wilson is going to beat your ass is what’s going to happen… The process has been tested time and time again. Fuck with Streets Wilson, and bad things start happening to you. I’ll fucking break your legs with a baseball bat when your exiting the grocery store. Then what’s what “LINK”? Link? What a stupid name, after this match they’ll be trying to find a way to restore the severed “link” that occurred when I disrupted the flow of blood and air to your head.
Streets Wilson: I mean… What’d you expect to happen?
(the screen flashes and Streets Wilson is suddenly standing outside in his own front yard.)
Streets Wilson: Gosh golly, I don’t know what to do! I’ve never been attacked from behind before!
(Streets Wilson drops to one knee)
Streets Wilson: those 2 large “attack them from behind” artists have gotten me..
(He aggressively claps his hands, signaling the switch back to reality)
Streets Wilson: Oh… Wait a minute…
(He looks towards a nearby flap on the ground, and a look of pure rage comes across his face. )
Streets Wilson: I ALMOST FORGOT, THIS DITCH IS FILLED WITH THE BODIES OF PEOPLE STUPID ENOUGH TO ATTACK STREETS WILSON FROM BEHIND
(He lifts the flap up and a pile of horribly mangled bodies are revealed, one of them with a striking resemblance to “Julian Bale” and another looking like he may have been a raging alcoholic while he was alive… Wilson’s eyes bug out of his head as he closes the flap quickly)
Streets Wilson: WHOOPS! I meant to disintegrate those in a tub of acid or some shit…
(he quickly draws attention away from the situation)
Streets Wilson: and on a side note BDC, REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN YOUR TALKING ABOUT STREETS WILSON
(he smiles as if he was proud of that sentence)
Streets Wilson: I’ll rip your throat out to… Mr. “I’ve been world champion in every orginzation I’ve been in”… Oh really?
(Streets Wilson is suddenly loudly and obnoxiously ringing a large bell)
Streets Wilson: LIAR ALERT! LIAR ALERT! When’s the last time you were APW champion BDC? Shut the hell up. BDC don’t even talk about me trying to act tough… you have problems with John Green… end of discussion. What the fuck makes you think anyone even cares about your existence? Stop acting special… have you seen what I do to people? Go back and check if your any damn different than all the other fools who thought they were special… then had to go one on one with a GOD. So whenever you have the misfortune of seeing me next BDC, and the thought of “why did I have to fuck with a don like this?” is flying through your head, remember you brought this down upon yourself… and there’s no way you can turn back now…
(he mumbles on back to the original subject)
Streets Wilson: Link… another one of these nobodies who has mistaken themselves for a somebody… You make your big entrance, your handed all the opportunities’ in the world… but what have you done since coming here? NOTHING. Meanwhile, Streets Wilson been gathering up all SORTS OF TITLE’s. Extreme first, I’ve been Extreme Champion in probably a dozen federations. I’m just bad like that. The tag titles were easy enough to take… knocked those 2 A-holes Lively and Twister off of their undeserved and imaginary pedestal… I suppose the problem with that is Lively is now back up on the pedestal… Either way, I’m looking forward to choking you out Link. I find it quite amusing you probably think yourself even comparable to Streets Wilson. I’ll going to tear you apart in that ring… Limb by limb. For All the hype some of you people around here seem to be given, I must admit it’s always pretty damn funny when you actually step into a ring with the likes of a cool Shoalin cat such as myself. I mean, seriously… I’m downright unstoppable. I’m fucking retiring people left and right. When’s the last time you heard Trevor Blackwell’s name? Oh right, THE LAST TIME I BEAT HIM RETARDED. And what’s all this attacking from behind bullshit? I have a message to the APW… STOP ATTACKING PEOPLE. More importantly don’t attack people the caliber of Streets Wilson, because I will most certainly get you back… ask around, go ahead and ask Trevor Blackwell, Iggy-… oh sorry, you can’t… ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GOT AN ATTITUDE WITH STREETS WILSON HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN OR HEARD FROM SINCE. I’m very sorry “Link” and “BDC’. But this isn’t EWC, or wherever the fuck you want it to be, it’s APW, and I run this shit. As much as you wish you were still cool, your not, Streets Wilson is the man. Your just some jackass’s that think their special for some reason… whatever the reason may be, Streets Wilson doesn’t even give a shit. Your very plain people with very plain weaknesses and I will most certainly be exploiting them in this upcoming match. And by the way BDC… Family Guy sucks… So lets review, what you may think of as a “random ass kicking” BDC, is really just a contract for your neck to be snapped in the very near future… Link is a nobody with a weird face, and Streets Wilson will always be the man… Cool.
(he gets a serious look on his face)
Streets Wilson: But See that’s the problem with 99% percent of the people that… aren’t Streets Wilson. You talk a lot of shit. Streets Wilson does a lot a shit. I produce results. I win matches. I win titles. I draw crowds. I make money. I become famous. I RUN THIS SHIT. So what I’m about to do next is dedicated to the Link’s and BDC’s of the world.
(He gives the signal to t he camera man to “cut” and the screen goes blank)
(when the screen refocuses, it is night time and Streets Wilson is hiding on the side of a building dressed in all black.)
Streets Wilson: I’m standing outside the house of my middle school bully, “Randy Fink”, who just happened to have attacked me from behind once at lunch…
(He immediately walks up to the front door, and kicks it in)
Streets Wilson: YAHHH!
(the door goes flying inside the house. Upstairs, lights can be seen being turned on)
(Wilson is inside the house now, crouching behind the stairs waiting.)
(Randy Fink is seen slowly walking down the stairs with a kitchen knife in his hand. When he gets to the bottom Streets Wilson pops out)
Streets Wilson: You fucked up Randy…
Randy: Who the Fu-
(Before Randy can finish his sentence, Streets Wilson grabs him by the esophagus and slams him face into the wall. There is a… small explosion of blood that comes from his face as his lifeless body drops to the floor.)
Streets Wilson: Yes, I have waited 16 years to do that… YOU SON OF A BITCH.
(suddenly a small child appears at the top of the stairs)
Child: Daddy? Are you down there?
(Streets Wilson is suddenly disguising his voice)
Streets Wilson (as Randy(: Et-hem, um, yes son, I’m just going to go for a quick swim in the river…
(Minutes later, Streets Wilson can be seen walking out the front door with a garbage bag in his hand, with human limbs comically sticking out in odd places)
Streets Wilson: PULL UP THE TRUCK
(a truck pulls up and he tosses the body in the back and jumps in the passenger seat. The truck speeds off)
(15 minutes later Wilson is standing on a bridge with the body. He looks around and then non-shalantly tosses the corpse off the ledge)
Streets Wilson (as the he is driving off in the truck): YEAH RANDY… YEAH! Now’s who’s got MAYONAISE ON THEY FACE!!!!
(He drives off out of sight)
Streets Wilson: Yes, it’s true… as you can all plainly see, this recent attack by Link… has turned Streets Wilson emo.
(Audible gasps are heard from off screen)
Streets Wilson: Yes… it’s finally happened… Who knows what … “emotional” shit I’m going to do now th-
(Streets Wilson dramatically jumps up out of the wheelchair and throws the black cape from his body, revealing his usual attire)
Streets Wilson: AH HAH!
(He begins to laugh manically)
Streets Wilson: You thought you turn Streets Wilson emo Link? There is no attack cowardly enough to bring Streets Wilson down. Big deal guys, you snuck up behind THE MAN and hit a devastating “jackknife power bomb” and… “Power bomb-to-face buster”… ok “small eyes”, that’s all well and good… but did you happen to think of the repercussions of this act? What’s going to happen when Streets Wilson grabs you by your stupid little trachea and throws your insignificant ass all over his ring? What’s going to happen when you actually have to fight someone? Streets Wilson is going to beat your ass is what’s going to happen… The process has been tested time and time again. Fuck with Streets Wilson, and bad things start happening to you. I’ll fucking break your legs with a baseball bat when your exiting the grocery store. Then what’s what “LINK”? Link? What a stupid name, after this match they’ll be trying to find a way to restore the severed “link” that occurred when I disrupted the flow of blood and air to your head.
Streets Wilson: I mean… What’d you expect to happen?
(the screen flashes and Streets Wilson is suddenly standing outside in his own front yard.)
Streets Wilson: Gosh golly, I don’t know what to do! I’ve never been attacked from behind before!
(Streets Wilson drops to one knee)
Streets Wilson: those 2 large “attack them from behind” artists have gotten me..
(He aggressively claps his hands, signaling the switch back to reality)
Streets Wilson: Oh… Wait a minute…
(He looks towards a nearby flap on the ground, and a look of pure rage comes across his face. )
Streets Wilson: I ALMOST FORGOT, THIS DITCH IS FILLED WITH THE BODIES OF PEOPLE STUPID ENOUGH TO ATTACK STREETS WILSON FROM BEHIND
(He lifts the flap up and a pile of horribly mangled bodies are revealed, one of them with a striking resemblance to “Julian Bale” and another looking like he may have been a raging alcoholic while he was alive… Wilson’s eyes bug out of his head as he closes the flap quickly)
Streets Wilson: WHOOPS! I meant to disintegrate those in a tub of acid or some shit…
(he quickly draws attention away from the situation)
Streets Wilson: and on a side note BDC, REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN YOUR TALKING ABOUT STREETS WILSON
(he smiles as if he was proud of that sentence)
Streets Wilson: I’ll rip your throat out to… Mr. “I’ve been world champion in every orginzation I’ve been in”… Oh really?
(Streets Wilson is suddenly loudly and obnoxiously ringing a large bell)
Streets Wilson: LIAR ALERT! LIAR ALERT! When’s the last time you were APW champion BDC? Shut the hell up. BDC don’t even talk about me trying to act tough… you have problems with John Green… end of discussion. What the fuck makes you think anyone even cares about your existence? Stop acting special… have you seen what I do to people? Go back and check if your any damn different than all the other fools who thought they were special… then had to go one on one with a GOD. So whenever you have the misfortune of seeing me next BDC, and the thought of “why did I have to fuck with a don like this?” is flying through your head, remember you brought this down upon yourself… and there’s no way you can turn back now…
(he mumbles on back to the original subject)
Streets Wilson: Link… another one of these nobodies who has mistaken themselves for a somebody… You make your big entrance, your handed all the opportunities’ in the world… but what have you done since coming here? NOTHING. Meanwhile, Streets Wilson been gathering up all SORTS OF TITLE’s. Extreme first, I’ve been Extreme Champion in probably a dozen federations. I’m just bad like that. The tag titles were easy enough to take… knocked those 2 A-holes Lively and Twister off of their undeserved and imaginary pedestal… I suppose the problem with that is Lively is now back up on the pedestal… Either way, I’m looking forward to choking you out Link. I find it quite amusing you probably think yourself even comparable to Streets Wilson. I’ll going to tear you apart in that ring… Limb by limb. For All the hype some of you people around here seem to be given, I must admit it’s always pretty damn funny when you actually step into a ring with the likes of a cool Shoalin cat such as myself. I mean, seriously… I’m downright unstoppable. I’m fucking retiring people left and right. When’s the last time you heard Trevor Blackwell’s name? Oh right, THE LAST TIME I BEAT HIM RETARDED. And what’s all this attacking from behind bullshit? I have a message to the APW… STOP ATTACKING PEOPLE. More importantly don’t attack people the caliber of Streets Wilson, because I will most certainly get you back… ask around, go ahead and ask Trevor Blackwell, Iggy-… oh sorry, you can’t… ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GOT AN ATTITUDE WITH STREETS WILSON HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN OR HEARD FROM SINCE. I’m very sorry “Link” and “BDC’. But this isn’t EWC, or wherever the fuck you want it to be, it’s APW, and I run this shit. As much as you wish you were still cool, your not, Streets Wilson is the man. Your just some jackass’s that think their special for some reason… whatever the reason may be, Streets Wilson doesn’t even give a shit. Your very plain people with very plain weaknesses and I will most certainly be exploiting them in this upcoming match. And by the way BDC… Family Guy sucks… So lets review, what you may think of as a “random ass kicking” BDC, is really just a contract for your neck to be snapped in the very near future… Link is a nobody with a weird face, and Streets Wilson will always be the man… Cool.
(he gets a serious look on his face)
Streets Wilson: But See that’s the problem with 99% percent of the people that… aren’t Streets Wilson. You talk a lot of shit. Streets Wilson does a lot a shit. I produce results. I win matches. I win titles. I draw crowds. I make money. I become famous. I RUN THIS SHIT. So what I’m about to do next is dedicated to the Link’s and BDC’s of the world.
(He gives the signal to t he camera man to “cut” and the screen goes blank)
(when the screen refocuses, it is night time and Streets Wilson is hiding on the side of a building dressed in all black.)
Streets Wilson: I’m standing outside the house of my middle school bully, “Randy Fink”, who just happened to have attacked me from behind once at lunch…
(He immediately walks up to the front door, and kicks it in)
Streets Wilson: YAHHH!
(the door goes flying inside the house. Upstairs, lights can be seen being turned on)
(Wilson is inside the house now, crouching behind the stairs waiting.)
(Randy Fink is seen slowly walking down the stairs with a kitchen knife in his hand. When he gets to the bottom Streets Wilson pops out)
Streets Wilson: You fucked up Randy…
Randy: Who the Fu-
(Before Randy can finish his sentence, Streets Wilson grabs him by the esophagus and slams him face into the wall. There is a… small explosion of blood that comes from his face as his lifeless body drops to the floor.)
Streets Wilson: Yes, I have waited 16 years to do that… YOU SON OF A BITCH.
(suddenly a small child appears at the top of the stairs)
Child: Daddy? Are you down there?
(Streets Wilson is suddenly disguising his voice)
Streets Wilson (as Randy(: Et-hem, um, yes son, I’m just going to go for a quick swim in the river…
(Minutes later, Streets Wilson can be seen walking out the front door with a garbage bag in his hand, with human limbs comically sticking out in odd places)
Streets Wilson: PULL UP THE TRUCK
(a truck pulls up and he tosses the body in the back and jumps in the passenger seat. The truck speeds off)
(15 minutes later Wilson is standing on a bridge with the body. He looks around and then non-shalantly tosses the corpse off the ledge)
Streets Wilson (as the he is driving off in the truck): YEAH RANDY… YEAH! Now’s who’s got MAYONAISE ON THEY FACE!!!!
(He drives off out of sight)
