Post by John Green on Apr 14, 2009 8:07:32 GMT -4
Who The Hell is Kid Cannabis?
Wronged. That's how Kid Cannabis feels. I know it is. I know he expected to come in here and win a Number One Contender' Spot for the World Title. But someone else has already taken the Number One contender spot, the spot that Kid Cannabis feels he deserves. Sadly It probably won't be me to take to win the spot even after the legendary match between me and Shadow. Our scene begins inside an office. The office is small and dimmly lit. Papers are scattered everywhere and a computer can be heard humming away. The sounds of typing are heard as John Green sits in a chair behind the desk. Using the computer is his cameraman Robert.
Robert- I still can't find anything on Kid Cannabis. Our archives just don't have it.
Green- Did you try HCW Champion, Kid Cannabis?
Robert- I've tried every alias he has ever mentioned. I still can't find anything on this guy.
Green- Former APW champion?
Robert- Not in our records.
Green- Then why the hell is he even in this match? I thought I specifically asked for no sacraficial lambs?
Robert- I don't make the card. And I'm not your boss. Ask him those questions.
Green- Alright, well if we aren't going to find anything on this guy then we may as well do something productive.
Robert- Productive? I haven't seen you do anything since your last match.
Green- That's because I don't have to. I'm the fuckin' man around here. Plus we'er on break until the 15th.
Robert- Well I am THE cameraman around here then.
Green- No your just some punk I hired, cheaper salary.
Robert- Yeah and about that. What am I getting paid?
Green- Nothing. Your doing this out of the goodness of your heart.
Robert- God damn.
Green- Hey you signed the contract without reading it.
Robert- Yeah well you drugged me.
Green- Yeah well.. I was high.
Robert- Well so was I.
Green- I was higher then the sky.
Robert- That's a damn lie.
Green- Wanna stop speaking in rhyme?
Robert- Sure thing pal, anytime.
Green- Doing drugs isn't a crime.
Robert- I thought we agreed it was damn fine?
Green- Your the one who began to whine.
Robert- Was it a sign?
Green- No, just your dumbfuck mind. Hey look I broke the rhyme, I wonder if I can do it two times?
Robert- I believe the record is nine.
Green- For dinner, where are we going to dine?
Robert- Anyplace will be fine.
Green- Pizza it is. Thank god we got over that rhyming spell.
Robert- Yes it can surly drive us into a maddening.... nevermind.
John chuckles as he pulls out his cigarettes.
Green- Smoke?
Robert- Non smoker. Beer only as you probably don't remember.
Green- Toke?
Robert- Aren't we working?
Green- Point being?
Robert- Eh.. what the hell, why not?
John takes a cigarette out of his pack and lights it up. He then tosses a "rolled cigarette" to Robert, who sparks it up. Taking a long haul, Robert goes to pass it to John.
Green- Oh man I was just joking. Were working.. what the hell do you think your doing?
Robert- But.. you.. you said. Oh you bastard.
Green- Don't worry. Luckily for you, I'm your boss. So keep smoking that shit man. Give them a taste of the 4:20 camera.
Robert- Hey.. maybe I should call myself The 4:20 Cameraman?
Green- Even though that's totally ripping me off.. I like it. Maybe you should change your name.
Robert- Or how about.. Robert "4:20" Cameraman?
Green- Dude, that would be kick ass. I think you have a new name.
Robert "4:20"- Nice.
Robert continues to puff on his cigarette as does John.
Green- So what do you propose the meaning of life is?
Robert "4:20"- I'm not sure. Maybe it's to hallucinate?
Green- Nah.. otherwise we wouldn't have depressed addicts.
Robert "4:20"- Well take that into consideration. Say you have an addict, that means he may have unlocked the meaning of life. And when he can't have it, he goes senile. And thus you have someone labelled a drug addict.
Green- That isn't logical in the slightest. If you really want to know the meaning of life, your going to lose your mind. Just make it up and stick to it. No need to think your brains out just for one question.
Robert "4:20"- Well then, I guess the meaning of life is to be famous. I mean look at it, we are having the best time in the world.
Green- Actually that would be your "smoke". It's just how you feel. Don't let it get to you.
Robert starts laughing his ass off over nothing. Everytime he tries to concentrate and look at John, he cracks up laughing. John leans over and takes his cigarette from Roberts hand. Replacing it with his, he taks a drag and let's out a small chuckle.
Green- What's so funny Robert? Am I funny? Is this tripping you out?
Robert "4:20"- Man, shut up, I can't stop laughing.
Green- What's real and what isn't?
Robert "4:20"- What?
Green- Everything around you.. is it real? Or is it just a hallucination?
Robert "4:20"- I don't know.
Green- I do. It's not real. Just a mirage of dreams. People always blame me for looking at the past, but they always look at the present. This isn't real, this is just your redemtion. I am re living my past, I am going to get a shot at the World Title. I am going to get my redemtion.
Robert "4:20"- Oh man, that was deep. I wish we had it on tape.
Green- You forgot the camera?
Robert "4:20"- It's still at the hotel.
Green- But you forgot the camera right? You dragged me all the way down here to hang out in a shithole office.. and you forgot the camera?
Robert "4:20"- I'm sorry sir.
Green- And what did I say about calling me sir?
Robert "4:20"- I apologize. Just don't fire me.
Green- Oh I was just playing with ya man. This place is alright for a hangout. I mean we could pull off some great 1950 bad guy action in here. Ya know.. count our money behind the desk and sit around smoking a cigar. You'll be 4:20 and I'll be John. We run this bitch.
Robert and John both begin to laugh now. A small window is the only source of light and we can see the morning rays peeking out from the clouds. It must be around dawn, and these two are smoking their brains out.
But let's start at the beginning. In a two bedroom hotel room, John Green and Robert sleep quietly. It's still dark outside and only the streetlights can be seen. John rolls over in his bed and quickly opens his eyes. Staring at the alarm clock he see's that it is 5:25 am. 5 more minutes of peace before he has to go into hiding. Robert said he found a place nobody knew about, and the two of them could relax there in peace and quiet. Since losing toShadow in what some would say is one of John's best matches, John has started to feel the pressure. The pressure to perform to his greatest abilities. Everyone saw it. A possible "best match" for 2009. John rolls over and stares towards his ceiling. The alarm will go off in a few minutes, and the peace will end. Since John returned back to APW he has been winning and earning title shots and everyone was suprised, but not a shock. It was more or less being hit with the blatant truth. John Green cannot be beaten by anyone. Or at least not by everyone. Ever since he stepped foot into APW again, he has regained his name. The name that was dragged through the mud by just about every damn APW superstar. They thought he was gone, but nightmares never leave. It is now his turn to bring out their nightmares. What they fear the most. Twister feared the loss, the step out of the spotlight. Michael Lively feared not being able to compete in the main events. And Jason Royce was ....well Jason Royce. The chance of a lifetime for three competitors has ended with three losers. John Green believes no more games. The next big match will be Level One vs. John Green for the World Heavyweight Championship.
BEEP BEEP BEEP. The alarm has gone off and 5:30 am has began. Robert tries to ignore the alarm but John just let's it go. He finds a pair of black jeans, and his wife beater shirt. He then starts to take off the wife beater and instead grabs a different shirt. It's his old hawaiian shirt with flames all over the bottom. He leavs it unbuttoned to show what muscle he does have. Taking an open hand, he goes over to Robert. WHACK, backhand to the head.
Green- Get up you lazy burnout. We gotta get the hell out of here.
Robert- Ungghh, what time is it?
Green- It's 5:30, come on get up we agreed on this.
Robert- 10 more minutes.
Green- You've got 10 more seconds until I drag you out of here. Now come on.
The use of a threat has made Robert drag his ass out of bed. He looks like a train wreck and whatever it was that he did last night seems to have affected him.
Green- Don't worry, most people who begin to hang out with me tend to get used to the mornings. Your just a little burntout. Maybe I should stop messing with my cameraman ha ha ha.
Robert utters a small groan/grunt as he tries to find his pants. When he is finally dressed, John makes him carry his luggage to Roberts car. Tossing it in the back, John hops into the drivers seat. Robert stands there looking at him.
Robert- Hey umm.. do you mind if I drive my own car?
Green- For goodness sakes man you can barely get your ass out of bed and you think you can drive? Give me the damn keys.
Robert- But it is my car, you know.. I am insured. You aren't.
Green- Look, I left my motorbike in a garage when we did RassleMania V. Ok.. I need a vehicle and you have one. Get used to it.
Robert- But.. alright whatever. Just don't crash it.
Green- You know I once got arrested for speeding down the highway.
Robert- Oh god.. I'm going to lose my car.
Robert reluctantly climbs into the passenger seat as he prays his car doesn't get wrecked. The two drive off to the unknown destination. And that's where we joined our friends.
Back at the office both John and Robert are throwing around a small basketball. The net is just above the door. Robert throws the basketball and hit's the rim. John quickly grabs it and tosses it up. Goal!
Green- Man, I really think were supposed to be doing something else.
Robert "4:20"- No, our plan today was to shoot basketballs into this small net. Look it up, it's in our plan book.
Green- But, don't you just wanna do something else? We've been playing basketball since 7 am this morning. It's 2 pm, like it's boring now.
Robert "4:20"- Hey it's not my fault you get assaulted by interviewers whenever you go outside.
Green- Hey.. I know what we can do.
Robert "4:20"- What's that?
Green- I can get us a quick order of "brownies."
Robert "4:20"- Oh god.. I think I'll pass.
Green- Well your no fun, what the hell do you propose we do?
Robert "4:20"- Why don't you just cut a promo against Cannabis?
Green- Yeah but I don't know a damn thing about him. What the hell would I have to say?
Robert "4:20"- Fuck if I know. Just try google or something. You were in a match with him or something back in EWC. The Fans choice match. Try and remember.
Green- All I have to os kick out of 'The Chronic". The move that nobody can kick out of. That's a good one, I mean when your a high midcarder it's nice to have a move that jobbers can't kick out of.
Robert "4:20"- Yeah, that sounds good. Look, if we rush back to the hotel now, you can cut a promo. But until then I don't have my camera on me.
Green- Well we were having fun here, may as well enjoy the day off. I'll think of something for tommorow. I mean if you just finished competing in a pretty big matchup..you'd kinda like a little bit of rest.
Robert "4:20"- Yeah I see what you mean.
Robert throws the basketball towards the net, and manages to get it in. John Green just sits back in his chair and relaxes. Tommorow's thoughts are already racing through his mind.
PART 1 End
Nobody gives a damn. That is the main thought running through John Green's mind as he wakes up. Another early morning, another day of hiding from the press. But there's silence. Robert sleeps quietly on his bed while John steps out onto his balcony. There isn't a soul around. The clouds overhead show a threatning storm coming, and the sun has yet to be seen. The sky is pure grey as John sits down on his balcony patio. Lighting up a cigarette, he stares out into the open streets. Why does he do this? Why does he hide from the press? And where are they? Who cares. Kid Cannabis won't be an easy feat as John already knows. He just looking to verbally rip him to shreds.
BEEP BEEP BEEP... that alarm has just gone off. John rolls over and hit's it, and looks towards his ceiling. What a nice dream, he was able to enjoy a cigarette without being bombarded by the press. John rolls out of his bed and grabs his cigarettes. He throws on a pair of jeans and heads out towards his balcony. He passes by Robert and slaps him in the back of the head.
Green- Hey get up man, we messed around enough yesterday. I need to cut a promo on Kid Cannabis.
Robert- Fuck Kid Cannabis. Let me sleep.
Green- You got 10 minutes.
Everyday is one less day before Overdrive. But it still seems many miles away. APW creeps through cities, and arenas, leaving nothing but carnage and a fan base to follow. With John being on the rise, it seems as if APW has harnessed this for themselves. Pitting him against Kid Cannabis. A man who just looks at a fed and expects to be World Champion out of nowhere. To bad for him that John will do anything to fight and become number one contender. We join John on the balcony of his hotel room. He is sitting in a white lawn chair and staring out at the city below. A lit cigarette is in his hand as Robert comes out with the camera. The two of them watch everyone hustle out of their homes and to their work prisons. Automobiles start up and the pollution begins. This is the industrial age, and it's killing us all.
Green- Look at them down there.. there just ants. They are told what to do and they don't even care. It's a source of income, they say. But in the end, they're the ones wishing they had my life. They think it's just easy, I show up for one wrestling match and get paid top dollars. But there wrong, I showed up on Rasslemania and I got brought a fight. They just don't understand what life is man.
Robert- What is life?
Green- Life.. life is living it however you want. Without the conformity of rules and regulations. Like sure there are guidelines but those can be bent.. guidelines are alright. But it's the rules that start to break you. That's why you gotta step up and just say fuck the rules. What can they really do?
Robert- Throw you in jail and piss on you?
Green- You really are one sick fuck aren't you? Or is that a little bit of me rubbing off?
Robert-Proably a little bit of you rubbing off. Seeing as I was only kidding.
Green- Then you understand that the rules can be broken?
Robert- Sure they can, that's why we have laws in check to make sure people are punished for breaking the law.
Green- But.. anyone who's name means anything can get away without any hassle.
Robert- That's called corruption.
Green- Your name will be made after Overdrive. Hell you'll be the most famous cameraman around. Fuck Michael Moore this is the best documentary ever made, and it's my life.
Robert- Hey I like Michael Moore.
Green- Michael Moore is ok, but he is one biased mother fucker. I suggest Noam Chomsky for the truth behind everything. Classified information is considered de classified after 30 years. Go take a look at what the States is really doing. Then go see what those Canadians are doing.
Robert- I'm American though, I bleed for my country.
Green- Our country considers you fodder for the enemy. Your just a target for them to shoot at as are they. Pawns in the big game of chess. Canada on the other hand.. they sit around and just get high, if it's a weekend then they get drunk. They also got some good wrestlers. Though I' not from Canada but I'm sure there are others almost as good as me. Like Twister, he's almost as good as me but not as. I've already crossed his name off my hitlist. I'm personally dissapointed.
Robert- Have you thought out your promo yet?
Green- Not really, I just kinda do things on spot. Why? You have an idea?
Robert- Maybe, I mean your RassleManaia's promo got good responses so why not continue it?
Green- Why should I waste precious words on Kid Cannabis? The man hasn't even sent out a promo yet.
Robert- He probably did. But it may just be him spitting bullshit about him beating you like some others.
Green- Mother fuckers just don't learn. You can't beat me, and you can't stop me. He's not better then The Retribution Killer. I earned the right to talk bu kicking ass alll over an APW ring.
Robert- True, you have done a lot in this past month. But why stop there? Why not start picking out those hitlist members.
Green- Are you kidding me? Look at my hitlist, and look where I'm headed. I've already proven I'm better then the entire roster. I'm not even concerned about Overdrive or Kid Cannabis.
Robert- Speaking of which, your starting to get some visitors.
When the two look downwards they can see a news van taping them.
Green- I wonder if they have a microphone aimed at us. Oh well only one way to find out.
Robert- How's that?
John Green- Fuck off.
The van slowly backs away in reverse before taking off down the street.
Green- Well there goes a promising story for you. But hey, at least I was right.
Robert- We gotta get out of here. This is just ridiculous. No privacy at all.
Green- Aren't you a wrestling reporter?
Robert-..... fuck you.
Green- Owned.
Robert and John continue inside where they start throwing their belongings into suitcases.
Green- When does my plane leave for Hawaii?
Robert- Tommorow morning at 8 am.
Green- Fine, I want you to go downstairs and check me out. I'll meet you with the car. We'll crash at the office instead.
Robert- Whatever you say man.
Robert tosses John his keys and the two head towards the elevator. Once they get down to the ground floor, John heads towards Roberts car. He pulls the car up towards the hotel door and is suddenly hit with a flashback.
Megan emerges from the hotel doors and climbs onto a motorbike. She quickly gives John a kiss before putting on her helmet. Holding tightly to him, the two take off from the parking lot.
Suddenly the door is opened up and Robert climbs in.
Robert- Come on man, let's get out of here.
John Green- I saw her again man. I could have sworn she was just right here with me.
Robert- What the hell are you talking about? Come on the press will be here soon.
John Green- I could of sworn I saw her right here. But that's impossible she died of a heart attack last week.
Robert- You can tell me this later now just GO!
Upon instinct John Green drives off down the street and towards Roberts press office. His focus doesn't seem to be on the road as much as it's on his thoughts. His deceased wife had only bothered him for a couple of days. He was over her death, but he will always miss her. She was his Megan and life was good.
We go to John Green sitting in Roberts office, and is just waking up from a short nap.
Robert- You feel asleep soon after we got here man. You ready for this match?
Green- I don't even give a damn about this match. I don't have to win this match. In fact, I don't even know if I want to show up.
Robert- Come on man, you gotta cut at least one more promo.
Robert brings John Green into a viewing room, where a small tv and vcr set is already set up.
Green- What no DVD player? I can hook you up with that man. Hell we could even get a nice 52 inch tv in here. Plasma screen, surrond sound.
Robert- Hey, I'm still not sure where my office is going to be once we get on that plane.
Green- I have some contacts that we can hang out with. I'll introduce you to my friends around this world. Where the hell are we headed anyways?
Robert- I have no clue. But I sure as hell don't want to be stuck in Oklahoma.
Green- So then how the fuck do I get to Overdrive? If they don't tell us where to go, then we don't know where to fuckin' go.
Robert- Iunno either, I'm just letting APW handle our tickets. I already had the bill sent to Jeff.
Green- Good, first class?
Robert- Middle.
John Green- No no Robert, always first class. See were not middle men. We don't have to save up for an entire year just to get on that damn plane. We don't have to use our air miles card just to get to another destination. No, we simply show up and get on. And that's why they invented first class. I do this every damn week for years at a time, I think I deserve First Class.
Robert- Sorry John, I just thought you didn't enjoy the luxury.
Green- It's comfort, not luxury. I'd rather sit back and have a beer, then sit back and listen to some old granny talk about visiting her family. Last person who tried to talk to me about that, well I told them they were going to die on this plane trip. Sure enough she panics and thinks the planes going down. Quite amusing but they made me get off in some hick town.
Robert- Umm.. John? Don't ever do that again
Green- Well I'll be damned. So when do we go to Hawaii?
Robert- I haven't heard a damn thing.
Green- Well then shut up.
Robert- What about Cannabis? John, this man is the most dedicated wrestler we mostly have.
Green- You mean ass kisser? Whiner? Cry baby? Complainer? Should I go on?
Robert- I think we have that area covered.
Green- Go grab your little camera, I have a few things to say about Cannabis.
Robert runs off to grab his camera while John Green floats off into another daydream.
Blurred images. The doctors. Piercing needles. Someone crying. That voice, no it can't be. It's hers.
Green- Megan?
The crying stops. Robert enters the room and brings John out of his daydream.
Robert- Hey I got the camera. Do you want to do this?
Green- Yeah, sure man.
Robert- You alright?
Green- Yeah man. Lets fucking do this.
Robert sets up the camera as John Green begins his promo. He is sitting in a black office chair and an arrogant smile is on his face.
Green- So the great and almighty weed smoker has come to APW? I haven't heard shit from the Can man all week except "Get Your Popcorn Ready". Come on man, I'm The Retribution Killer John Green.. you can't intimidate me with a quote. To bad everybody turned the channel to watch my promo. Nobody gives a damn about Kid Cannabis. That's the message you aren't getting. You could be the greatest wrestler in the world, and we still wouldn't give a damn about Kid Cannabis. Your boring Cannabis, when you get into the ring, your boring. You don't do anything to excite me, and you don't even have a proper gimmick. I still don't even know who the hell Kid Cannabis is. So who is Kid Cannabis? Is he white and became black? Or is he just another jobber? Oh wait.. Kid Cannabis.. isn't he that fat bald man I saw doing pyrotechnics? No, that was his father. Kid Cannabis.. I don't know that name just doesn't ring a bell. I guess I don't need to care who he is, just another no name. So yes Cannabis this is a warm up match for me. There isn't a mid carder alive who could take me down if he tried. So just stick to where your good, the mid card. Hell fuck it Cannabis you may as well go down to the Rookie level where you can average a 75 percent win streak. So do yourself the favour and stay the hell out of my business. Your just another no name here, and you will always be a no name. Why? Because my name is the only name that people know. I am John Green and I am going to kick the living shit right out of you. Fuck Level One, Fuck Kid Cannabis, and Fuck the Roster. None of you can comepete on the same level that I do, so if you disagree.. step up and show me. When that day arrives, then maybe I'll give a damn.
John Green- I'm The Retribution Killer John Green, I don't lose to mid carders. Hell the only reason you were put into this match is because I can carry the match. Fuck it, I am the match. Your just the next beating. I've been doing this for awhile in APW Cannabis, you can't out do me. You can't even out promo me. See I don't need anything fancy to get ratings. Look at what I'm sitting in. A simple office chair in a simple office. Peace, and quiet. That's all you really need. But let's not keep you waiting Cannabis.
John Green- First off we have some unnamed chump trying to get into APW.. so what's he do. Nothing. Kid Cannabis, Can we get some applause? No? Why? Because you haven't done anything right so far in this company except shutting your damn mouth when I'm your opponent. You think 'Cause you are a former champ your impact is gonna be huge over in APW. You think All the fans will love you and you'll be thrown shots for the World Title. Hey Cannabis, my fan base is bigger then yours and well they disagree. I think everyone in APW wants to see me walk into that ring me and you will meet and beat the living hell out of the champion. Most people are just hoping I take out Level One. Everyone's sick of that cheap gimmick. His fan base has just transfered over to me. You think you're going to get the shot at Level One, Cannabis? You're wrong. Guess what Cannabis? You lost your chance when I was named your first APW opponent. You won't seize the day like I did. You do whatever it takes to survive. And The truth will be set free.
John Green- But then the truth was spilled. You know you can't beat me. You know how I great I am. So I don't even need to get into that. You see.. that bell rings and I can compete on any level I desire. But when that bell ends, then I am free to do whatever the hell I want. So if your lucky, then the cameras will stop filming. But even if they do, then the fans in Hawaii will get to see one hell of a beating put on Kid Cannabis. The most underated superstar in APW, and the most deserving jobber of the century. You want a title? Your going to get one that many people already have. It's called loser. And it's to John Green.
Fade to Black.
Wronged. That's how Kid Cannabis feels. I know it is. I know he expected to come in here and win a Number One Contender' Spot for the World Title. But someone else has already taken the Number One contender spot, the spot that Kid Cannabis feels he deserves. Sadly It probably won't be me to take to win the spot even after the legendary match between me and Shadow. Our scene begins inside an office. The office is small and dimmly lit. Papers are scattered everywhere and a computer can be heard humming away. The sounds of typing are heard as John Green sits in a chair behind the desk. Using the computer is his cameraman Robert.
Robert- I still can't find anything on Kid Cannabis. Our archives just don't have it.
Green- Did you try HCW Champion, Kid Cannabis?
Robert- I've tried every alias he has ever mentioned. I still can't find anything on this guy.
Green- Former APW champion?
Robert- Not in our records.
Green- Then why the hell is he even in this match? I thought I specifically asked for no sacraficial lambs?
Robert- I don't make the card. And I'm not your boss. Ask him those questions.
Green- Alright, well if we aren't going to find anything on this guy then we may as well do something productive.
Robert- Productive? I haven't seen you do anything since your last match.
Green- That's because I don't have to. I'm the fuckin' man around here. Plus we'er on break until the 15th.
Robert- Well I am THE cameraman around here then.
Green- No your just some punk I hired, cheaper salary.
Robert- Yeah and about that. What am I getting paid?
Green- Nothing. Your doing this out of the goodness of your heart.
Robert- God damn.
Green- Hey you signed the contract without reading it.
Robert- Yeah well you drugged me.
Green- Yeah well.. I was high.
Robert- Well so was I.
Green- I was higher then the sky.
Robert- That's a damn lie.
Green- Wanna stop speaking in rhyme?
Robert- Sure thing pal, anytime.
Green- Doing drugs isn't a crime.
Robert- I thought we agreed it was damn fine?
Green- Your the one who began to whine.
Robert- Was it a sign?
Green- No, just your dumbfuck mind. Hey look I broke the rhyme, I wonder if I can do it two times?
Robert- I believe the record is nine.
Green- For dinner, where are we going to dine?
Robert- Anyplace will be fine.
Green- Pizza it is. Thank god we got over that rhyming spell.
Robert- Yes it can surly drive us into a maddening.... nevermind.
John chuckles as he pulls out his cigarettes.
Green- Smoke?
Robert- Non smoker. Beer only as you probably don't remember.
Green- Toke?
Robert- Aren't we working?
Green- Point being?
Robert- Eh.. what the hell, why not?
John takes a cigarette out of his pack and lights it up. He then tosses a "rolled cigarette" to Robert, who sparks it up. Taking a long haul, Robert goes to pass it to John.
Green- Oh man I was just joking. Were working.. what the hell do you think your doing?
Robert- But.. you.. you said. Oh you bastard.
Green- Don't worry. Luckily for you, I'm your boss. So keep smoking that shit man. Give them a taste of the 4:20 camera.
Robert- Hey.. maybe I should call myself The 4:20 Cameraman?
Green- Even though that's totally ripping me off.. I like it. Maybe you should change your name.
Robert- Or how about.. Robert "4:20" Cameraman?
Green- Dude, that would be kick ass. I think you have a new name.
Robert "4:20"- Nice.
Robert continues to puff on his cigarette as does John.
Green- So what do you propose the meaning of life is?
Robert "4:20"- I'm not sure. Maybe it's to hallucinate?
Green- Nah.. otherwise we wouldn't have depressed addicts.
Robert "4:20"- Well take that into consideration. Say you have an addict, that means he may have unlocked the meaning of life. And when he can't have it, he goes senile. And thus you have someone labelled a drug addict.
Green- That isn't logical in the slightest. If you really want to know the meaning of life, your going to lose your mind. Just make it up and stick to it. No need to think your brains out just for one question.
Robert "4:20"- Well then, I guess the meaning of life is to be famous. I mean look at it, we are having the best time in the world.
Green- Actually that would be your "smoke". It's just how you feel. Don't let it get to you.
Robert starts laughing his ass off over nothing. Everytime he tries to concentrate and look at John, he cracks up laughing. John leans over and takes his cigarette from Roberts hand. Replacing it with his, he taks a drag and let's out a small chuckle.
Green- What's so funny Robert? Am I funny? Is this tripping you out?
Robert "4:20"- Man, shut up, I can't stop laughing.
Green- What's real and what isn't?
Robert "4:20"- What?
Green- Everything around you.. is it real? Or is it just a hallucination?
Robert "4:20"- I don't know.
Green- I do. It's not real. Just a mirage of dreams. People always blame me for looking at the past, but they always look at the present. This isn't real, this is just your redemtion. I am re living my past, I am going to get a shot at the World Title. I am going to get my redemtion.
Robert "4:20"- Oh man, that was deep. I wish we had it on tape.
Green- You forgot the camera?
Robert "4:20"- It's still at the hotel.
Green- But you forgot the camera right? You dragged me all the way down here to hang out in a shithole office.. and you forgot the camera?
Robert "4:20"- I'm sorry sir.
Green- And what did I say about calling me sir?
Robert "4:20"- I apologize. Just don't fire me.
Green- Oh I was just playing with ya man. This place is alright for a hangout. I mean we could pull off some great 1950 bad guy action in here. Ya know.. count our money behind the desk and sit around smoking a cigar. You'll be 4:20 and I'll be John. We run this bitch.
Robert and John both begin to laugh now. A small window is the only source of light and we can see the morning rays peeking out from the clouds. It must be around dawn, and these two are smoking their brains out.
But let's start at the beginning. In a two bedroom hotel room, John Green and Robert sleep quietly. It's still dark outside and only the streetlights can be seen. John rolls over in his bed and quickly opens his eyes. Staring at the alarm clock he see's that it is 5:25 am. 5 more minutes of peace before he has to go into hiding. Robert said he found a place nobody knew about, and the two of them could relax there in peace and quiet. Since losing toShadow in what some would say is one of John's best matches, John has started to feel the pressure. The pressure to perform to his greatest abilities. Everyone saw it. A possible "best match" for 2009. John rolls over and stares towards his ceiling. The alarm will go off in a few minutes, and the peace will end. Since John returned back to APW he has been winning and earning title shots and everyone was suprised, but not a shock. It was more or less being hit with the blatant truth. John Green cannot be beaten by anyone. Or at least not by everyone. Ever since he stepped foot into APW again, he has regained his name. The name that was dragged through the mud by just about every damn APW superstar. They thought he was gone, but nightmares never leave. It is now his turn to bring out their nightmares. What they fear the most. Twister feared the loss, the step out of the spotlight. Michael Lively feared not being able to compete in the main events. And Jason Royce was ....well Jason Royce. The chance of a lifetime for three competitors has ended with three losers. John Green believes no more games. The next big match will be Level One vs. John Green for the World Heavyweight Championship.
BEEP BEEP BEEP. The alarm has gone off and 5:30 am has began. Robert tries to ignore the alarm but John just let's it go. He finds a pair of black jeans, and his wife beater shirt. He then starts to take off the wife beater and instead grabs a different shirt. It's his old hawaiian shirt with flames all over the bottom. He leavs it unbuttoned to show what muscle he does have. Taking an open hand, he goes over to Robert. WHACK, backhand to the head.
Green- Get up you lazy burnout. We gotta get the hell out of here.
Robert- Ungghh, what time is it?
Green- It's 5:30, come on get up we agreed on this.
Robert- 10 more minutes.
Green- You've got 10 more seconds until I drag you out of here. Now come on.
The use of a threat has made Robert drag his ass out of bed. He looks like a train wreck and whatever it was that he did last night seems to have affected him.
Green- Don't worry, most people who begin to hang out with me tend to get used to the mornings. Your just a little burntout. Maybe I should stop messing with my cameraman ha ha ha.
Robert utters a small groan/grunt as he tries to find his pants. When he is finally dressed, John makes him carry his luggage to Roberts car. Tossing it in the back, John hops into the drivers seat. Robert stands there looking at him.
Robert- Hey umm.. do you mind if I drive my own car?
Green- For goodness sakes man you can barely get your ass out of bed and you think you can drive? Give me the damn keys.
Robert- But it is my car, you know.. I am insured. You aren't.
Green- Look, I left my motorbike in a garage when we did RassleMania V. Ok.. I need a vehicle and you have one. Get used to it.
Robert- But.. alright whatever. Just don't crash it.
Green- You know I once got arrested for speeding down the highway.
Robert- Oh god.. I'm going to lose my car.
Robert reluctantly climbs into the passenger seat as he prays his car doesn't get wrecked. The two drive off to the unknown destination. And that's where we joined our friends.
Back at the office both John and Robert are throwing around a small basketball. The net is just above the door. Robert throws the basketball and hit's the rim. John quickly grabs it and tosses it up. Goal!
Green- Man, I really think were supposed to be doing something else.
Robert "4:20"- No, our plan today was to shoot basketballs into this small net. Look it up, it's in our plan book.
Green- But, don't you just wanna do something else? We've been playing basketball since 7 am this morning. It's 2 pm, like it's boring now.
Robert "4:20"- Hey it's not my fault you get assaulted by interviewers whenever you go outside.
Green- Hey.. I know what we can do.
Robert "4:20"- What's that?
Green- I can get us a quick order of "brownies."
Robert "4:20"- Oh god.. I think I'll pass.
Green- Well your no fun, what the hell do you propose we do?
Robert "4:20"- Why don't you just cut a promo against Cannabis?
Green- Yeah but I don't know a damn thing about him. What the hell would I have to say?
Robert "4:20"- Fuck if I know. Just try google or something. You were in a match with him or something back in EWC. The Fans choice match. Try and remember.
Green- All I have to os kick out of 'The Chronic". The move that nobody can kick out of. That's a good one, I mean when your a high midcarder it's nice to have a move that jobbers can't kick out of.
Robert "4:20"- Yeah, that sounds good. Look, if we rush back to the hotel now, you can cut a promo. But until then I don't have my camera on me.
Green- Well we were having fun here, may as well enjoy the day off. I'll think of something for tommorow. I mean if you just finished competing in a pretty big matchup..you'd kinda like a little bit of rest.
Robert "4:20"- Yeah I see what you mean.
Robert throws the basketball towards the net, and manages to get it in. John Green just sits back in his chair and relaxes. Tommorow's thoughts are already racing through his mind.
PART 1 End
Nobody gives a damn. That is the main thought running through John Green's mind as he wakes up. Another early morning, another day of hiding from the press. But there's silence. Robert sleeps quietly on his bed while John steps out onto his balcony. There isn't a soul around. The clouds overhead show a threatning storm coming, and the sun has yet to be seen. The sky is pure grey as John sits down on his balcony patio. Lighting up a cigarette, he stares out into the open streets. Why does he do this? Why does he hide from the press? And where are they? Who cares. Kid Cannabis won't be an easy feat as John already knows. He just looking to verbally rip him to shreds.
BEEP BEEP BEEP... that alarm has just gone off. John rolls over and hit's it, and looks towards his ceiling. What a nice dream, he was able to enjoy a cigarette without being bombarded by the press. John rolls out of his bed and grabs his cigarettes. He throws on a pair of jeans and heads out towards his balcony. He passes by Robert and slaps him in the back of the head.
Green- Hey get up man, we messed around enough yesterday. I need to cut a promo on Kid Cannabis.
Robert- Fuck Kid Cannabis. Let me sleep.
Green- You got 10 minutes.
Everyday is one less day before Overdrive. But it still seems many miles away. APW creeps through cities, and arenas, leaving nothing but carnage and a fan base to follow. With John being on the rise, it seems as if APW has harnessed this for themselves. Pitting him against Kid Cannabis. A man who just looks at a fed and expects to be World Champion out of nowhere. To bad for him that John will do anything to fight and become number one contender. We join John on the balcony of his hotel room. He is sitting in a white lawn chair and staring out at the city below. A lit cigarette is in his hand as Robert comes out with the camera. The two of them watch everyone hustle out of their homes and to their work prisons. Automobiles start up and the pollution begins. This is the industrial age, and it's killing us all.
Green- Look at them down there.. there just ants. They are told what to do and they don't even care. It's a source of income, they say. But in the end, they're the ones wishing they had my life. They think it's just easy, I show up for one wrestling match and get paid top dollars. But there wrong, I showed up on Rasslemania and I got brought a fight. They just don't understand what life is man.
Robert- What is life?
Green- Life.. life is living it however you want. Without the conformity of rules and regulations. Like sure there are guidelines but those can be bent.. guidelines are alright. But it's the rules that start to break you. That's why you gotta step up and just say fuck the rules. What can they really do?
Robert- Throw you in jail and piss on you?
Green- You really are one sick fuck aren't you? Or is that a little bit of me rubbing off?
Robert-Proably a little bit of you rubbing off. Seeing as I was only kidding.
Green- Then you understand that the rules can be broken?
Robert- Sure they can, that's why we have laws in check to make sure people are punished for breaking the law.
Green- But.. anyone who's name means anything can get away without any hassle.
Robert- That's called corruption.
Green- Your name will be made after Overdrive. Hell you'll be the most famous cameraman around. Fuck Michael Moore this is the best documentary ever made, and it's my life.
Robert- Hey I like Michael Moore.
Green- Michael Moore is ok, but he is one biased mother fucker. I suggest Noam Chomsky for the truth behind everything. Classified information is considered de classified after 30 years. Go take a look at what the States is really doing. Then go see what those Canadians are doing.
Robert- I'm American though, I bleed for my country.
Green- Our country considers you fodder for the enemy. Your just a target for them to shoot at as are they. Pawns in the big game of chess. Canada on the other hand.. they sit around and just get high, if it's a weekend then they get drunk. They also got some good wrestlers. Though I' not from Canada but I'm sure there are others almost as good as me. Like Twister, he's almost as good as me but not as. I've already crossed his name off my hitlist. I'm personally dissapointed.
Robert- Have you thought out your promo yet?
Green- Not really, I just kinda do things on spot. Why? You have an idea?
Robert- Maybe, I mean your RassleManaia's promo got good responses so why not continue it?
Green- Why should I waste precious words on Kid Cannabis? The man hasn't even sent out a promo yet.
Robert- He probably did. But it may just be him spitting bullshit about him beating you like some others.
Green- Mother fuckers just don't learn. You can't beat me, and you can't stop me. He's not better then The Retribution Killer. I earned the right to talk bu kicking ass alll over an APW ring.
Robert- True, you have done a lot in this past month. But why stop there? Why not start picking out those hitlist members.
Green- Are you kidding me? Look at my hitlist, and look where I'm headed. I've already proven I'm better then the entire roster. I'm not even concerned about Overdrive or Kid Cannabis.
Robert- Speaking of which, your starting to get some visitors.
When the two look downwards they can see a news van taping them.
Green- I wonder if they have a microphone aimed at us. Oh well only one way to find out.
Robert- How's that?
John Green- Fuck off.
The van slowly backs away in reverse before taking off down the street.
Green- Well there goes a promising story for you. But hey, at least I was right.
Robert- We gotta get out of here. This is just ridiculous. No privacy at all.
Green- Aren't you a wrestling reporter?
Robert-..... fuck you.
Green- Owned.
Robert and John continue inside where they start throwing their belongings into suitcases.
Green- When does my plane leave for Hawaii?
Robert- Tommorow morning at 8 am.
Green- Fine, I want you to go downstairs and check me out. I'll meet you with the car. We'll crash at the office instead.
Robert- Whatever you say man.
Robert tosses John his keys and the two head towards the elevator. Once they get down to the ground floor, John heads towards Roberts car. He pulls the car up towards the hotel door and is suddenly hit with a flashback.
Megan emerges from the hotel doors and climbs onto a motorbike. She quickly gives John a kiss before putting on her helmet. Holding tightly to him, the two take off from the parking lot.
Suddenly the door is opened up and Robert climbs in.
Robert- Come on man, let's get out of here.
John Green- I saw her again man. I could have sworn she was just right here with me.
Robert- What the hell are you talking about? Come on the press will be here soon.
John Green- I could of sworn I saw her right here. But that's impossible she died of a heart attack last week.
Robert- You can tell me this later now just GO!
Upon instinct John Green drives off down the street and towards Roberts press office. His focus doesn't seem to be on the road as much as it's on his thoughts. His deceased wife had only bothered him for a couple of days. He was over her death, but he will always miss her. She was his Megan and life was good.
We go to John Green sitting in Roberts office, and is just waking up from a short nap.
Robert- You feel asleep soon after we got here man. You ready for this match?
Green- I don't even give a damn about this match. I don't have to win this match. In fact, I don't even know if I want to show up.
Robert- Come on man, you gotta cut at least one more promo.
Robert brings John Green into a viewing room, where a small tv and vcr set is already set up.
Green- What no DVD player? I can hook you up with that man. Hell we could even get a nice 52 inch tv in here. Plasma screen, surrond sound.
Robert- Hey, I'm still not sure where my office is going to be once we get on that plane.
Green- I have some contacts that we can hang out with. I'll introduce you to my friends around this world. Where the hell are we headed anyways?
Robert- I have no clue. But I sure as hell don't want to be stuck in Oklahoma.
Green- So then how the fuck do I get to Overdrive? If they don't tell us where to go, then we don't know where to fuckin' go.
Robert- Iunno either, I'm just letting APW handle our tickets. I already had the bill sent to Jeff.
Green- Good, first class?
Robert- Middle.
John Green- No no Robert, always first class. See were not middle men. We don't have to save up for an entire year just to get on that damn plane. We don't have to use our air miles card just to get to another destination. No, we simply show up and get on. And that's why they invented first class. I do this every damn week for years at a time, I think I deserve First Class.
Robert- Sorry John, I just thought you didn't enjoy the luxury.
Green- It's comfort, not luxury. I'd rather sit back and have a beer, then sit back and listen to some old granny talk about visiting her family. Last person who tried to talk to me about that, well I told them they were going to die on this plane trip. Sure enough she panics and thinks the planes going down. Quite amusing but they made me get off in some hick town.
Robert- Umm.. John? Don't ever do that again
Green- Well I'll be damned. So when do we go to Hawaii?
Robert- I haven't heard a damn thing.
Green- Well then shut up.
Robert- What about Cannabis? John, this man is the most dedicated wrestler we mostly have.
Green- You mean ass kisser? Whiner? Cry baby? Complainer? Should I go on?
Robert- I think we have that area covered.
Green- Go grab your little camera, I have a few things to say about Cannabis.
Robert runs off to grab his camera while John Green floats off into another daydream.
Blurred images. The doctors. Piercing needles. Someone crying. That voice, no it can't be. It's hers.
Green- Megan?
The crying stops. Robert enters the room and brings John out of his daydream.
Robert- Hey I got the camera. Do you want to do this?
Green- Yeah, sure man.
Robert- You alright?
Green- Yeah man. Lets fucking do this.
Robert sets up the camera as John Green begins his promo. He is sitting in a black office chair and an arrogant smile is on his face.
Green- So the great and almighty weed smoker has come to APW? I haven't heard shit from the Can man all week except "Get Your Popcorn Ready". Come on man, I'm The Retribution Killer John Green.. you can't intimidate me with a quote. To bad everybody turned the channel to watch my promo. Nobody gives a damn about Kid Cannabis. That's the message you aren't getting. You could be the greatest wrestler in the world, and we still wouldn't give a damn about Kid Cannabis. Your boring Cannabis, when you get into the ring, your boring. You don't do anything to excite me, and you don't even have a proper gimmick. I still don't even know who the hell Kid Cannabis is. So who is Kid Cannabis? Is he white and became black? Or is he just another jobber? Oh wait.. Kid Cannabis.. isn't he that fat bald man I saw doing pyrotechnics? No, that was his father. Kid Cannabis.. I don't know that name just doesn't ring a bell. I guess I don't need to care who he is, just another no name. So yes Cannabis this is a warm up match for me. There isn't a mid carder alive who could take me down if he tried. So just stick to where your good, the mid card. Hell fuck it Cannabis you may as well go down to the Rookie level where you can average a 75 percent win streak. So do yourself the favour and stay the hell out of my business. Your just another no name here, and you will always be a no name. Why? Because my name is the only name that people know. I am John Green and I am going to kick the living shit right out of you. Fuck Level One, Fuck Kid Cannabis, and Fuck the Roster. None of you can comepete on the same level that I do, so if you disagree.. step up and show me. When that day arrives, then maybe I'll give a damn.
John Green- I'm The Retribution Killer John Green, I don't lose to mid carders. Hell the only reason you were put into this match is because I can carry the match. Fuck it, I am the match. Your just the next beating. I've been doing this for awhile in APW Cannabis, you can't out do me. You can't even out promo me. See I don't need anything fancy to get ratings. Look at what I'm sitting in. A simple office chair in a simple office. Peace, and quiet. That's all you really need. But let's not keep you waiting Cannabis.
John Green- First off we have some unnamed chump trying to get into APW.. so what's he do. Nothing. Kid Cannabis, Can we get some applause? No? Why? Because you haven't done anything right so far in this company except shutting your damn mouth when I'm your opponent. You think 'Cause you are a former champ your impact is gonna be huge over in APW. You think All the fans will love you and you'll be thrown shots for the World Title. Hey Cannabis, my fan base is bigger then yours and well they disagree. I think everyone in APW wants to see me walk into that ring me and you will meet and beat the living hell out of the champion. Most people are just hoping I take out Level One. Everyone's sick of that cheap gimmick. His fan base has just transfered over to me. You think you're going to get the shot at Level One, Cannabis? You're wrong. Guess what Cannabis? You lost your chance when I was named your first APW opponent. You won't seize the day like I did. You do whatever it takes to survive. And The truth will be set free.
John Green- But then the truth was spilled. You know you can't beat me. You know how I great I am. So I don't even need to get into that. You see.. that bell rings and I can compete on any level I desire. But when that bell ends, then I am free to do whatever the hell I want. So if your lucky, then the cameras will stop filming. But even if they do, then the fans in Hawaii will get to see one hell of a beating put on Kid Cannabis. The most underated superstar in APW, and the most deserving jobber of the century. You want a title? Your going to get one that many people already have. It's called loser. And it's to John Green.
Fade to Black.
