Post by Kurt on Jan 2, 2013 16:52:43 GMT -4
A Noble Divorce
December 31st, 2012
8:56 AM
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
“Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ, sir?”
The question is a strike to a jugular, killing the conversation before it even began; the complete non-answer from a bag-eyed, bearded Kurt Noble hangs in the air, separating the red-eyed Megastar from a man that might as well be a walking JS. Banks advertisement. The man’s wide-toothed grin contrasts the restrained scowl worn by Noble, complementing his ripped, polka-dot stained wife-beater. The silence grows cold.
“It’s the final day of 2012, you know. 2013’s the year to finally get to know our Lord Jesus Christ-“
The man’s grin diminishes as another enters the conversation: Jack Daniels. His eyes jump back and forth as Noble finishes off the bottle, before tossing it backwards onto a pile of newspapers. The man’s weak grin continues.
“You, sir, look like someone in need of salvation-“
“From what?”
Noble’s question brings energy back into the whimsical smile of the baby-faced man of God.
“Well, from Hell, of course!”
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Noble steps back, causing his apartment door to give the man the full scope of the room…and the madness of Kurt Noble. Empty, half-drained, and full bottles are intertwined with newspapers, mixed with a flavor of empty cases of various wrestling PPVs. The attic-like apartment drains what like color remains in the man’s face.
“This, sir, is what you religious folk call Hell,” Noble answers as the man tries to shake the filth off.
“Well, you too sir can feel a sense of renewal with Jesus Christ. He’ll protect you from your ways-“
Slam.
Noble snarls as he steps away from the door. He runs his hands through his faded brown hair, making little attempt to tip-toe past bunched up clothes and mountains of Chinese-takeout. He blocks the ray of light emitting from his window, and slams his hand down on his answering machine.
You have 36 missed messages.
Message #1 from 6:45 PM December 24th, 2012:
“Hey Kurt, it’s Kylie. Been feeling a little on the lonely side since Christmas Chaos; I stopped by earlier, but I guess you weren’t there. Anyway, I heard about your little stint with Rebel; that’s the fire I like to see! I’ve got the scoop on your opponent: A new kid named Roy Speede. He’s been ripping through Meltdown with Mr. Donald Deruty, but we’re going to give him a nice Overdrive welcome. First, though, you have to get your medical evaluation done; Jeff wants them done before the end of the year, otherwise you forfeit your match against Roy. I know 2013 is your year, and I’m looking out for you by-“
Message Erased.
Next Message from 9:35 PM, December 25th, 2012:
“Hello Mr. Parker. My name’s Jason Stoneworthy. I’m just calling to confirm that you received the papers sent to you from Mrs. Noble. I knocked, but no one was home; I left them by your door. We hope to begin deliberations soon on your di-
Message Erased.
Noble’s eyes slowly trudge over towards his night-stand, where amongst the chaos, lies a manila folder with a paper sticking out of the top. The only visible words are…
“A MOTION TO DIVORCE BETWEEN CURTIS PARKER (RECIPIENT)AND AMY PARKER (RESPONDENT)”
His gaze lingers as the next mess plays…
“Hi Kurt, it’s Jeff. I just wanted to inform you in case you hadn’t heard: Chris Hart has been suspended from Action Packed Wrestling. I can no longer allow contact between you two on APW grounds, and instances of contact between you two will be handled by the APW Disciplinary Committee. As far as APW is concerned, your problems with Chris Hart are over.
“I also wanted you to know that I heard about your spat with Johnny Rebel, and have acted accordingly. With Survive and Conquer quickly approaching, I’ve decided to instate a little competition between the two brands: Both you and Roy Speede will face off on the first 2013 edition of Overdrive. I’m hoping that the match serves as a reminder the the brands of APW can place nice; thus, I expect you to behave accordingly…
“I also was wondering if you’d be interested in participating in APW Survive and Conquer this year, as you played a vital role in last year’s event-“
Message Erased.
Next Message from 8:02 AM, December 26th, 2012
“Hi Kurt; it’s me-“
Message Erased.
Noble’s cracked eyes snap back to the papers, and he snatches a nearby bottle as the messages continue.
“Kurt, it’s Kylie. You no-showed your appointment I set up; seriously, Kurt, there’s not much time left in the 2013 for this evaluation. We NEED this to be done so you can get to focusing on Roy Speede. He’s going to be looking to make an example of you: A tag team guy facing a former Undisputed Champion? It screams money-maker! I wanted you prepped and ready for this sniveling little toad, so that means being physically and mentally prepared-“
Message Erased.
Next Message…
“Kyle, AGAIN! You STILL haven’t returned my calls! I don’t know WHERE you are, but you have a fraking MATCH to get ready for! 2013 is going to be YOUR year, and we won’t let is start with some tag-team REJECT ruining it for you-“
Message Erased.
“KYLIE HERE!”
Message Erased.
“KURT!”
Message Erased.
Message Erased.
Message Erased.
SMASH.
Noble rips the machine from its plug, and shoves it off his night-stand, causing it scatter the divorce papers amongst the rubble. His fingers tighten around the bottle, but before he can drown again, sound fills the room…
Knock.
Knock.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock…
Eyes roll as Noble lifts himself up, his hand balancing on the table as he stumbles through the junkyard.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
“Jesus Christ.”
The familiar phrase greets Noble as he opens the door, coming face to face with manager Kylie Demens. Her eyes pop-out of their sockets as they scan his tattered clothes and fuzzy face. He groans.
“Didn’t want to hear about him the first time…and really don’t want to the second time,” he grumbles. Kylie glances over his shoulder, her jaw nearly joining the debris scattered amongst the floor.
“Oh. My. GOD!” she exclaims as she steps into Noble’s apartment. Her stomach nearly explodes as she scans the wreckage.
“Welcome to paradise,” Noble spouts as he closes the door.
“What the FUCK Kurt?” she shrieks as she snaps her attention to the APW Megastar. “Is THIS what you’ve been doing while you’ve been IGNORING my calls?! I left you-“
“I’m assuming close to 30,” he interrupts as he takes a seat at his living room table, knocking down his wrestling gear.
“This is DISGUSTING, Kurt! This is unbefitting of someone of your GREATNESS! I go through hoops to get you the best treatment there is in APW, and you’re living like THIS!? It’s…It’s….”
“What do you want Kylie?”
The crimson flares in Kylie’s normally perfectly pearlish skin.
“Oh, you care about what *I* want? I wanted you to have your physical examination a week ago…but where have you been Kurt? WHERE?”
With a flick of his wrist, Noble presents his room; Kylie scoffs.
“Unbelievable,” she snaps. “One loss, and you’re crying your eyes out. What have I tried to show you about channeling your rage? That’s why you have Roy Speede. Combined with your whining to Rebel, I got you a perfect little punching bag to let all that aggression out on; these tag team children don’t know what it’s like to actually be on your own. When you’ve got him pinned down, ripping the air from his throat, he won’t know what to do with himself. That wouldn’t be happening if I didn’t arrange for your last minute examination, of course! Get dressed: You’ve got tests to pass-“
“I’m not going.”
Three words firmly snap the momentum in Kylie’s demeanor. Her eyebrows nearly jump from her face.
“Excuse me”[/i]
“I’m not going to my tests,” Noble retorts as he reaches for another bottle. “And I’m not going back to Action Packed Wrestling, either.”
“But…but…Roy Speede-“
“Roy Speede will be fine with, or without a match with me,” Noble continues as he begins to pour himself another drink into an already half-filled cup. “Hopefully eventually winning the tag team titles will make him happy; he’d be the first. Eventually, he and Deruty will split, and they’ll be enemies to the bitter end; Speede doesn’t need me furthering or prolonging that sad truth. This match, this company can’t do anything else for me. Face it Kylie: Action Packed Wrestling is where wrestling goes to die.”
“But…the Undisputed Title…Chris Hart…even…”
Kylie grits her teeth through the next one.
“Amy. This match is a small step towards getting it all back.”
“Check your feet.”
Kylie pauses, before looking down…right at the paper signifying the divorce.
“What makes it even better is that Chris has been suspended,” Noble continues. “I won’t know when I get another shot at him, and without beating Chris…I’ll never get back what’s mine. Maybe being Speede will help me get back on my feet, but without Chris…there’s nothing I can do to win her back. So, essentially…
“I don’t give a shit.
“Happy Goddamn New Year.”
Noble raises his glass to Kylie, and takes a swig. Kylie just stares at the paper. She forms a small grin as she stares at Noble.
“What if I told you that I had a plan…that use this to our advantage? What if I could get you out of this slump of yours”
“It still wouldn’t get me what I want,” Noble replies as he lifts the glass again.
“And if it could? If it could get her back?”
Silence.
“I’m listening.”
-
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1:13 PM
“Please state your name for the record.”
Noble raises his eyebrows to the doctor facing him.
“You know my name, doc. You treated me before the Experts,” Noble snaps as he faces Dr. Apollo.
“For the record, Mr. Noble,” he drones on as his eyes scan over Noble’s files. The former Tag Team Champion sighs as he begins to button his jacket back up.
“Kurt Noble.”
“And you’re here for?”
“…A physical and mental evaluation to assess my physical and mental condition in compliance with APW’s Fitness Program. That textbook enough for you, or should I spell it as well?”
Kylie shoots Noble a scowl as she peers over Dr. Apollo’s shoulders. He scribbles furiously, and faces Noble.
“Your physical exam results should be done soon. President Jeff has also asked for a mental examination, to be sure all his wrestlers are…well, less than sociopathic. I ask that you take a seat in the chair through that door. You’ll be attended to shortly.”
“How about you get me an appetizer while you’re at it?” Noble barks as he finishes putting back on his jacket. He eyes Kylie, and steps through the door. Dr. Apollo turns to Kylie, who grins.
“Thank you for being available on such short notice,” Kylie remarks with a soft grin and a twirl of her hair. “Kurt and I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to make sure he’ll be going back to APW in good health-“
“Ms. Demens, Kurt Noble failed every portion of the physical exam.”
The horror shoots through Kylie’s eyes.
“Wait…WHAT?!”
Dr. Apollo looks down at his notes as Kylie stares through the glass window at Kurt, who is lazily sitting at the empty table.
“Mr. Noble exhibits various signs of alcoholism, coupled with the sort of physical decay one would expect of a man that’s walked on a bad leg for five years. His endurance, strength, and reaction all tested poorly. His hand-eye coordination is lacking. He looks like a homeless bum.”
Dr. Apollo looks up.
“Shall I continue?” he asks.
“Kurt Noble is fine,” she protests. “Look, he’s had some physical stumbles lately, but Kurt is at the top of his game, and you know why? Two reasons: The first is because he has the drive for this. He wants this, and not for the reasons everyone else does. He doesn’t want titles, or glory, or some stupid friends at his back. He wants-“
“To hurt people,” Dr. Apollo finishes in as dry of a tone as possible. “I’m assuming that’s what this mental examination will tell me. I cannot see, in good conscience, why I should permit him to face… I’m sorry, what was his name again?”
“Roy Speede,” Kylie snarls. “And Kurt can beat Roy Speede without even having to go anywhere near crazy. Speede’s got the-“
“Speed?”
“…Sure. He’s got the youth, and the flexibility that Kurt doesn’t have…but he doesn’t have the second thing Kurt has:
“Me.”
Dr. Apollo simply nods as he continues to take notes.
“And how are you going to help Mr. Noble continue in Action Packed Wrestling?” he asks.
“I look out for Kurt,” she says. “Whether it be making sure Roy Speede has a little…’accident’ at Terry Marvin’s New Year’s party tonight, or putting a flame under Kurt with some…well, unfortunate divorce papers, I know what he needs to get motivated…and when Kurt’s motivated, no one touches him. No one. Maybe YOU don’t believe Kurt can beat Roy Speede in his current physical condition-“
“I don’t.”
“But I can. Once Kurt separates himself from everything that’s holding him back…once he divorces himself from 2012 Kurt Noble...APW will see what I’ve always seen:
“The one to rule them all.
“That’s where I come in. That’s where you come in. That’s where Roy Speede comes in. He’s the first piece of a very clear puzzle; all you need to do is approve Kurt’s mental examination, and I’ll do the rest. I have a plan for Kurt Noble, and when he’s approved, it’s time to put it all into motion.”
“And why would I do that?” Dr. Apollo asks.
Kylie struts towards him, a smile across her face, and leans in to the dark-haired man’s ear.
“Because when everyone finds out what you injected in Kurt’s system, you’ll be finished.”
Dr. Apollo opens his mouth, but is silenced as Kylie points to an empty syringe in her pocket. He says nothing, and instead opens the door, stepping into the room with Noble. He sits down as Noble faces him.
“It’s about time Doc!” he yells.
“We’re going to begin the examination with a simple word test,” Dr. Apollo mumbles. “I say a word or phrase, and you say the first word that comes to mind. Is that clear?”
“Bullshit.”
Dr. Apollo groans as Noble shrugs.
“That’s my word.”
“Funny. First word: Wrestling.”
“Destruction.”
“Action Packed Wrestling.”
“Bomb.”
“Wrestler.”
“Boom.”
“President Jeff.”
“Enabler.”
“Terry Marvin.”
“Enabled.”
“Chris Hart.”
“Fuck…”
“Amy Noble.
“…You.”
Dr. Apollo pauses as Noble’s nostrils flare.
“Roy Speede.”
“Next.”
“Goal.”
“Ending.”
“Divorce.”
“…”
Dr. Apollo looks up, but Noble’s blank stare says the word for him. Dr. Apollo points at the camera.
“I believe that concludes this portion of the exam…I’ve seen all I care to see. Now, this recording is going to be watched by President Jeff soon; he’ll see this along with my decision. You have anything to say to him?”
Noble continues his silence as Dr. Apollo leans on, hanging on the words that never appear. He sighs, and stands up, making his way back to the door…when…
“You think you are safe…don’t you?”
Dr. Apollo turns, only to see Noble’s eyes locked on the camera.
“You, sitting there, watching me from behind a video camera, behind a glass door, sitting in the audience, on a different show…you think that this over because he’s out of the picture? Let me tell you something…
“This is not over.
“Some people think that because I suffered a loss at Christmas Chaos, or One Night in Hell, or Shockwave, or any time where the stakes were high…they think that I’m done. They think that the ‘great’ Kurt Noble is going to just roll over for the men like Roy Speede. You expect to see a future without me in it, and maybe you will…
“Once Chris Hart is destroyed.
“But he’s not; not yet…and that means I’m not finished. I still have a job to do. I still have to claim what’s mine.
“But what’s mine…has changed.”
Noble pauses, and touches the golden ring on his finger. He glosses his dirty fingers over…before beginning to pull it from his finger.
“One year ago I wanted what every man and woman in the company wants: Fame. I wanted to prove that I could wrestle amongst the best that APW had, and that drive is what pushed me to the top. It’s not a new concept, or a new idea: That drive lives in APW…
“And it dies in APW.
“Take a young man like Roy Speede: He’s determined. He’s agile. He’s got a name worth remembering, especially when his team was seconds away from becoming the APW Tag Team Champions. He has that drive…which means he still has a lesson to learn. He trusts Donald Deruty, and to be fair, they make a good team…which is why it’ll be difficult for him when he comes to the conclusion that everything…”
Noble removes the ring from his finger.
“…Ends. Eventually, people are going to hurt you; they’re going to blame you for things that aren’t your fault.
“They’re going to resent you for failing to live up to their expectations.
“They’re going to grow bored of you.
“And they’ve going to do the opposite of love you. They won’t hate you, no…that’d mean they still acknowledge you. They’re going to stop caring about you. That’s going to make you angry. That’s going to fill you with rage. That’s going to make you lose everything that’s yours. There’ll come a day when the Roy Speedes of the world realize that the happiness around them, that fulfills them, is nothing more…
“Than a knife to the back.”
Noble holds the ring up to the camera.
“But I’ll be long gone by the time the Roy Speedes of the world realize that they’re players on a stage, dancing to the tune of someone else’s drum. Maybe he’ll see it in time the people he trust are no more than the puppet-masters, but until good men like Roy Speede realize that Action Packed Wrestling is a place where careers die and anarchy lives…
“My job won’t be finished.
“When I finally get Chris Hart exactly where I want him, I’ll be teaching the Roy Speedes…the Kurt Noble’s of 2012 a very valuable lesson…
“Everything begins…”
Noble spins the ring, standing up as it begins to falter. It finally falls flat on the table.
“And everything ends.”
He says nothing more as he walks out of the room. He locks eyes with Kylie, ignoring Dr. Apollo entirely.
“I want you to order me a suit Kylie,” he says as he faces his beard in a mirror.
“And why’s that?” she asks with a smirk.
He touches his beard, and his heavy eye lids, and finally, his now empty ring-finger.
“We have a party to attend.”
