APW YEAR END AWARDS 2012

[President Jeff]

APW YEAR END AWARDS SHOW 2012

The scene opens up with a shot of the sold out John Bassett Theatre in Toronto, Ontario Canada. The fans are cheering as a stage is set up with a podium on it. The camera then cuts to APW Interviewer, Shane West.

Shane: Welcome everyone to the APW Year End Awards show. I am Shane West and I will be your host for the show this evening. Tonight folks, we have 16 awards to hand out to the Megastars of Action Packed Wrestling. Awards including Match of the Year, Champion of the Year and the one everyone is gunning for, Megastar of the Year. Lets go to the stage for our first award.

The voice of Tony Ferrari is heard over the PA for the introductions.

Tony: To Present the Please Come Back Award, ladies and gentlemen, Asylum's American Hero, Mr. Michael Callahan!

“Midlife Crisis” by Faith No More hits the sound system and Callahan steps out onto the stage wearing one of his finely tailored grey three-piece suits with a blue silk neck-tie and all the charisma in the world in his smile, there's a somewhat forced round of applause for the duly elected wrestling representative.

Michael Callahan: Ladies and gentlemen... It's a pleasure to be asked by the committee to list the nominations of an award but hey, with Delikado touted to mop up all those he's been nominated before, I've been tempted to leave myself just so I can get myself an award.

A ripple of mild laughter from the crowd as Callahan grins at them, taking the stage masterfully.

Michael Callahan: Only in APW could you ever be rewarded for eschewing your loyalties and turning your back on the place that made you a star, right? Well, that's the award that I've been asked to present and while I fundamentally disagree with the premise, I'm going to be a professional and read out the candidates and of course, the winner.

A pregnant pause.

Michael Callahan: The nominations are... Asylum's deranged mad man “Mike Morrison”...

Images of Mike Morrison pounding on Chaz Dillinger in a Test for the Best qualifier appear on the screen, the audience applaud and cheer.

Michael Callahan: Cameron Wolves...

Clips of Cameron Wolves annihilating Benny Horrowitz in Cameron's debut match mute the applause somewhat, as it was quite graphic the extent to which Cameron tore apart his fluffy haired rival.

Michael Callahan: Billy Pepsi... Christ, are all of the candidates whackjobs?

The screen changes to showing footage of Billy Pepsi scrapping it out with Phil Atken back in the day Atken wasn't the underdog hero he is today.

Michael Callahan: Finally, someone normal. Carmen Rivera...

Footage of Carmen Rivera and her abusive love interest Michael Harris in one of their rare Overdrive tag team matches is played, Callahan cringes at who he considers “APW's Second Worst Michael”, beaten only to the crown by Michael Lively.

Michael Callahan: And finally... Warren Peace.

The last set of footage shows clips of Warren Peace taking on Blade in an Overdrive edition from earlier in the year. Final applauses from the fans as the highlight reel comes to a close. Finally, an attractive starlet in a black sparkling silk gown hands him a golden envelope.

Michael Callahan: And the winner is...

Drum roll.

Michael Callahan: MIKE MORRISON!!!

There's a round of applause as Callahan puts the statuette up to the top of the podium for all to see but when Mike Morrison doesn't join him from the audience, it's obvious he's not here.

Michael Callahan: Now, APW's second greatest Michael wasn't able to make it tonight but he did send us a letter of acceptance. “Thank you to all my fans for your constant support. One day, I may return to Asylum yet schedule permitting. But for now I'd like to leave you all with an important message. Fuck shit stab twist kill, spread the blood of the innocent. ONE. STEP. BEYOOOOOOND. Where's my dragon dust?” Powerful words there from one of APW's most beloved competitors. That's all. Thank you very much!

Tony: Please welcome out next presenter……MR. DANGEROUS!

Mr. Dangerous comes out and trips and falls on the stage. Everyone laughs as he gets up and gives a wave indicating he’s ok. He walks up to the podium

Mr. Dangerous: Well that was embarrassing. Tonight, I am here to present the Rising Star of the Year Award. This award will go to the person who has made an impact in 2012 that they are only going to rise to greater greatness in 2013. Your nominees are

Stefan Raab

Keaton Saint

Evan Envi

Aubrey J Parker

AC Smith


And your winner is…..

EVAN ENVI

"Helter Skelter" hits the PA system and the cameras pan into the crowd, showing Evan Envi wearing his Wednesday Best, smirking at the announcement. He turns and mutters something to someone out-of-frame next to him and then pushes himself up, making his way slowly, but surely up to the stage.

He pauses one he reaches the top of the steps and smirks, making his way over to the podium with a slight swagger, ignoring Tuhoa Valo entirely. He merely glances in his direction to accept the award from him and leans over the podium, into the microphone.

He opens his mouth, but closes it, shaking his head at the buzzing audience. Soon, the crowd grows quieter, but not quite hushed. Evan leans back down into the microphone.

Envi: Thank you.

Many in the audience roar at the two words. With that, Evan takes the trophy and makes his way back to his seat, casting glances at other nominees such as A.C. Smith and Stefan Raab during the trek there.


At this time, please welcome the APW World Heavyweight Champion....PHIL ATKEN

Phil Atken makes his way over to the podium, dressed to the nines, the World Heavyweight Championship resting upon his shoulder and a mile wide grin on his face.

Atken: I was asked tonight if I would do the kindness of bringing to you the nominees and indeed the winner of the Champion of the Year category. To become a champion in APW, a champion much like myself, although inexplicably there weren't some last minute changes to add APW's greatest living champion to the list... still to become a champion, you need that extra bit of passion, that special something that will drive you forward. You need an ultimate goal and purpose and tonight I stand here to acknowledge the hard working gentlemen who in the year 2012 represented what a champion should be. Pillars of the community, all of them. True Pillars, unlike the Four Pillars.

Atken digs in to his pocket and produces a sheet of paper and the winner envelope.

Atken: So the nominees for champion of the year are as follows...

The Party Monster himself and a good close personal friend of someones... don't know who but someone must like him... Terry Marvin, a man who held both the Overdrive and Undisputed titles this year. I think he still has one of them, I don't know, Overdrive clashes with my DVR viewing of Top Chef.

The current Suicidal champion, the former World Heavyweight champion, a championship may I add that I now hold, Jason Kash!

Former Pro-Life Champion and current Flip-Flop World Champion, the ever so apologetic Michael Callahan. Good luck with that one Mikeyboy.

Former Tap Out Champion and when not scalding my entire body, he is an all around gentleman, Mr. Julius Farquhar.

Who says the infirm can't be exemplary, certainly former Undisputed champion Kurt Noble breaks that barrier!

And finally, Meltdown's FIRST North American Champion, a trendsetter in more ways than one, Evan Envi.

It gives me great privalage to shake the hand of... unless it's Michael Callahan, I don't have any anti-slime soap with me... the champion of the year...

TERRY MARVIN

Terry makes his way up to the Stage to accept his award. He stands there for a second looking out to all the crowd, surveying each and every one of them. He then holds up his trophie and screams.

Terry Marvin: I AM A CHAMPION!

He then smiles before bending close to the mic.

Terry Marvin: I would really like to thank Johnny Rebel and Kurt Noble for being the ones who were too damn inferior to stop the Terry Marvin Express this year when I won my titles off of them. I would like to thank Keaton Saint, Kurt Noble again, Chris Hart, Level One, CJ Gates, and most notably BIGGS for being unable to contain or even slow the roll that I was on this year. I feel that being a Champion for 10 out of the 12 months of this year CERTAINLY qualifies me to attain this lovely award. In the years to come, people will look back on 2012 and know what being a champion should look like…. Think is, I make this shit look easy!

Terry smirks and hurries off the stage with his award.

Tony: Please Welcome at this time, the APW Tag Team Champions, Anthony Bailey and Jair Hopkins

Tag Team Champions Anthony Bailey and Jair Hopkins, also known as The Dying Breed, emerge from behind the curtain to a warm welcome. Clad in extremely nice suits, they both walk to the podium bearing huge smiles. Bailey leans towards the microphone, looks at the teleprompter, and begins to speak.

Anthony Bailey: First off, I would like to say Happy New Years to all of the attendees present with us here today and to all of the viewers watching at home.

Jair Hopkins: Anthony and I are very proud to be here with you all today and to announce the 2012 APW Award for Tag Team of the Year. Throughout the years, tag team wrestling has been a primary element in the sustaining power of this wonderful sport.

Anthony Bailey: J-Hop and I both know firsthand how wonderful it is to have someone you can always count on in your corner. Not only as relief but as someone who challenges you to be better every time you step inside the ring. But without further ado, here are the nominees for Tag Team of the Year…..

Noble-Hart

The Sindicate

The Studmuffins

EnviKado

and M&M.

Building anticipation, J-Hop slowly begins to open the envelope containing the names of the winners.

Jair Hopkins: And the winners of APW’s Tag Team of the Year for 2012 go to…..NOBLE-HART!

Kurt stands up from his seat and walks up the the stage. He grabs both awards and speaks.

Kurt: Well, Chris Hart couldn't be here tonight, and since he couldn't be here, I'm just going to take his half of the award with me. You may not agree, but I carried that team. I was the hart and soul of Noble-Hart. So with that, Happy New Years ya Filthy Animals!

Kurt walks off the stage and we go to a commercial for Survive and Conquer

[President Jeff]

Tony: Please welcome out next presenter……Nicky Paige!

Nicky walks out to the podium to a nice ovation

Paige: While on the road, you develop friendships. Some of the guys in the back go up and beyond their call of duty. This award I’m presenting is for the best person in the back. And your nominations are

Jason Kash

Delikado

Sally Talfoud

Kurt Noble

Julius Farquhar

Phil Atken


And your winner is…..

DELIKADO

Delikado stands up and heads up the stage. He grabs the award and stands at the podium

Boss Delikado: Thank you. Ya know…wow…wow, Delikado is SO drunk right now. I may…I may have to take some pills or something, in case I potentially win something later…or did I already win stuff? Delikado don’t remember! All he…woo…all he knows is he’s just been named “Best Guy in the Back”, which is NOT a pornographic award I’ve been told. That’s good…because Delikado doesn’t want to win another one of those. What it means, this, ahem, “OOC Person of the Year”, is that Delikado is everyone’s FAVORITE person! Meeeee! That’s gotta deserve another drink, am I right!? I’m right…

Delikado proceeds to pull a champagne bottle from the back of his jacket and pops the cork off. He downs a little before a stagehand comes to take it from him. The Cuban puts up little to no fight as the bottle is taken. After things settle down, Delikado runs a hand through his hair and laughs.

Boss Delikado: But yeah, everyone’s favorite guy in APW, against the likes of Jason Kash who won previously and despite his cutting back on the ‘yoo-hoo’ grass is still spouting off stuff Delikado thought of a split-second later and is therefore jealous of because the hallway echo caught his comments first.

There’s Phil Fatken—ATKINS! ATKEN! Delikado meant Atken! Oh, <BEEP>, just cut that out later, that dude knows what's up. He's…well, you don’t need ME to tell you. Seriously, just ask around.

…And Kurt Noble, he’s been called one of the nicest guys in the back…which makes zero sense to me, since he’s all “Blllllargggghhhhhh” with chairs and drugs and whatnot…but Delikado digresses. Ying and Yang, “tomato, toh-ma-to’, Bonnie and Clyde, and so forth.

Sally Talfourd, she’s hot, nuff said. Backstage always needs a little hotness when I’m not around. *burp*

Julius Farquhar, in Delikado's mind a centerpiece of the APW backstage fold. In FACT!, it just might be a true story that our production team "Some-Kinda-Something-Productions" might've taken their name from the realization that they couldn't describe him with words in a manner that did the dude justice. Don't ask Delikado how or why the two came to be related, it's too long a story and Delikado figures he's got, oh, five minutes before he needs to go check his Twitter account. Fanbases, ya know?

…So yeah, those guys are all people of their own quality backstage…and Delikado’s spent WAY too much time on the World Wide Web, looking up pictures of cakes on Google, LOLCats, downloading Youtube videos so he could pop in and play them behind people at appropriate--or inappropriate--times…to have known he stood in the same backstage standing as those people.

Or DID I, Delikado might be *totally* lying to you all right now…

Ummm…so Delikado’s the biggest charmer and most memorable and most likeable out of the entire backstage crew. I’m a peacekeeper, a saint. Just spouting off FACTS! and all that jazz, and in a business that has a LOT of guys spouting off jazz backstage, to say Delikado’s jazz is the most liked of them all is incontrovertible proof that he who is the loudest is also the proudest, because Delikado sure as <BEEP> is proud right now. And drunk. But we discussed that already. That’s all part of the charm that got Delikado this award in the first place, baby. It’s wonderful.

Uhhh.

And stuff. Wonderful and stuff. That’s Delikado’s motto, and generations from now when you’re all dead and gone and Delikado’s still editing the Wikipedia articles of his opponents to poke fun at them like a mischievous five-year-old, that’ll still ring true. APW, pro wrestling, the world…they’re gonna know it, because Delikado being “Best Guy in the Back” opened a whole different can of worms that consists of Delikado doing what he has to do to be your favorite OOC next year. LIKE A BAWSE!

Deliado walks off

Tony: Please welcome out next presenter, The new APW Tap Out Champion, The Soul of Philly, TJ!

TJ music plays and he comes out with the tap out title. We goes to the podium and speaks

TJ: Many can relate to coming home from work and wanting to just sit down and relax, maybe have a drink or play a game. For us at APW, going home isn’t always an option after a show, so we resort to Mafia, not the actual mafia, but a game we got going on in the back that some of us end up playing. Here are the nominees for mafia player of the year.

A picture of Julius Farquahar pops up on the screen

TJ: Julius Farquhar...

A picture of Kurt Noble pops up on the screen

TJ: …Kurt Noble…

A picture of James V pops up on the screen

TJ: …James V…

A picture of Terry Marvin pops up on the screen

TJ: …Terry Marvin…

A picture of Level One pops up on the screen

TJ: …Level One…

A picture of Blade pops up on the screen

TJ: … and finally Blade. Drumroll please?

Drumroll…

TJ: And the Winner is LEVEL ONE!


Level One couldn't be here, so I will accept the award on his behalf. And another note I'm suppose to pass along, the winner for Mafia Game of the year is....

HUNGER GAMES MAFIA!!

Again, I'll accept this award on behalf of Level One who hosted the game.

TJ then walks off the stage

Tony: Now to present, Gimmick of the Year, Julius Farquhar

Instead of Julius Farquhar coming out, his associate Phil walks out instead. He stands at the podium and pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket.

Phil: I have here a letter from Mr. Farquhar. It reads

“Unfortunately, catastrophic events of the utmost importance, pertaining to the gravest injustice perpetrated in human history, prevent me, "Quintessentially English" Julius Farquhar, from appearing tonight and giving the recipient of this award the honour of a "Quintessentially English" handshake. But I have sent Phil along to read out this statement, and act on my behalf - except you will not receive a "Quintessentially English" handshake, but instead a rather weak and floppy touch from a indubitably sweaty palm."

Phil: So with that, The nominees for Gimmick of the Year are….

Mr. Dangerous

Phil Atken

Kurt Noble

Michael Callahan

Delikado


And your winner is……

DELIKADO!

Delikado stands from his seat and makes his way up the stage. Phil hands him the award and shakes his hand

Boss Delikado: Thank you! Yeah, bitch! Wooooooooooooooooo! Ohhhhh, <BEEP> me sideways and <BEEP> the <BEEP>ing regular children in their <BEEP>ing plain, stupid arts and crafts. *kisses award* You all knew it was gonna happen. You knew this baby would be mine, and you know why? Because when it comes to being unique and being THE most creative with five minutes of screen-time… all the sexy and shiny come home with Delikado. FACT! This one’s going home with me, to my carnival, and it’s gonna be inserted in a place of pride, a place to be enjoyed, a place where EVERYONE will see it and KNOW of the accomplishment Delikado accomplished tonight.

That’s right. This award’s going by the restrooms. Delikado wouldn’t DREAM of placing it somewhere any less special. But uhhhhh, yeaaaah…for all you little one-noters out there, who are probably wondering to yourselves how you can be like me, Cuban and genuinely amazing at everything I do or make? How can you win “Gimmick of the Year”, the sign of signs that you’re the most exotic and creative of all your peers, maybe even of all the lands? Well, Delikado’s got a two word answer for you:

“Try harder, bitch.”

You see, that was THREE words, and you didn’t see it coming, because that’s just the sort of player Delikado is. He’s ALWAYS taking you on a rollercoaster ride, full of the unknown, riddled with things you don’t see the first time, that you gotta go back and watch, experience again and again, before you see the whole picture Delikado’s painted before you, in his APW. 2012’s been a big one for Delikado, but it’s only the first step on a very, very, VERY giganto staircase. It shouldn’t a surprise to you to see Delikado here now, because his humbleness is so unlimited that you just had to give him what he wanted. You should probably just go ahead and hand Delikado 2013 Gimmick of the Year, because he’s OBVIOUSLY the best artist alive. Actually, let’s just sprinkle some of that humble juice on that prior statement and label Delikado the best artist EVER.

These results here, that you see here tonight, that you see in the APW at present, that you will see in the near future, are of a REAL APW Megastar, and they are very much a united effort. Not only does it make Delikado the most creative wrestler around, it’s about making me into the most creative PERSON around!

Granted, Delikado already kind of IS that, it’s just plain brain logic. Hey, don’t be upset, YOU voted for me! Delikado’s just been about kicking dues in the face, smoking cigars, drinking champagne, and talking some of the best game of his LIFE. But Delikado backs it up, and he’s got people backing him up to back it up too. People KNOW me, even Obama can’t touch Delikado’s swag! Go ahead and bow, while I thank some people for giving me help and stuff even when I didn’t need it, but I chose to take it anyway…

Let’s see, there’s Delikado’s primary sponsor Chubbys Family Restaurant, who got Delikado through some dark, dark nights eating southern home cooking. He ate so much it made him vomit, which is the best way to keep in shape. There’s also Cubic Hair, who kept Delikado looking just right for the cameras. Can’t forget Nike, who begged Delikado to stop wearing their shoes, and in the process led Delikado to acquire military boots worn by Adolf Hitler. That especially has led to the success train running my way. The guy who invented togas; Delikado especially likes to wear togas when drawing up blueprints for his work. Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry for putting the image forever in Delikado’s head of some guy punching out the clerk and running off with a $400 Bulova watch. The scene lingers with Delikado all twenty-four hours of the day as he stops and examines his brand-new, recently acquired $400 Bulova watch here. Truly, truly gives a man reason to put his heart and soul into his work, so that the people will be inspired to do good like me, rather than bad like everyone else. And lastly, Delikado’s tag team partner Evan Envi, the other half of EnviKado, you’re my bro and this might not have happened if you’d flown at my side as we owned these fools here.

Alright, Delikado’s the best, number one most creative guy in the APW, see you next year, good night! Award show’s over, nothing left to see here! Oh, oh, you’re turning the mic off? Oh, HELL NAW, this is MY moment, you stupid microphone-controlling motherfu--

With that, we go to a commercial for Tomorrow Nights Overdrive show

[President Jeff]

Tony: Ladies and gentlemen, here to present Surprise of the Year, please welcome, Mark Mania!

“This Means War” plays over the loudspeaker as Mark walks out from the backstage dressed in his suit and wearing his Overdrive title over his shoulder. He hugs Paige and kisses her on the cheek as they pass each other. Mark steps up to the podium.

Mark Mania: Hello APW!

The crowd cheers in approval.

Mark Mania: The year of 2012 has been filled with loads of surprises in and outside of the ring. First of all, the biggest surprise should be that I came back and finally won the Overdrive title, but no need to make this all about me.

The crowd half laughs and half cheers.

Mark Mania: During this past year there have been a lot of returns from past APW megastars, there has been the re-opening of the Meltdown brand, and some people who really made leaps in their career. It was difficult to limit it down to so few nominations. But let’s get to them.

Mark looks down at a piece of paper.

Mark Mania: And the nominees are…

Phil Atken rises to Main Event Status

The crowd cheers incredibly loudly.

Knuckles Stolen Identity

The crowd doesn’t have much of a response.

Johnny Rebel becomes GM of Overdrive

Some members of the crowd cheer in approval.

Azrael Gorean signs APW contract

A big pop from the crowd.

Borderland coming back, hitting Sally with a chair.

Not much approval or disapproval from the crowd here.

Mark Mania: Well, based on the cheers I think we know who wins here. Let’s make sure. Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of Surprise of the Year…

Mark opens the envelope and smiles while he looks at.

Mark Mania: Phil Atken rising to Main Event Status! Congrats Phil!


Atken walks over to accepts the award, the World Heavyweight Championship draped across his shoulder. Standing behind him and applauding his victory are Hank, Dirk Dickwood and Saul Slendamin.

Atken: You know, it's hard not to be offended when you are told that your inevitable climb to the top of this company's ranks is somehow regarded as surprising. It's a larger slap in the face for it to be considered the most surprising thing to happen all year round. Even more surprising than the time Michael Callahan decided to strip down to his underwear in the middle of the ring. There was nothing surprising about me winning this...

Atken hoists up the World Heavyweight Championship resting on his shoulder.

Atken: For months on end now, I've told people exactly what I was going to do in the ring, I've stood in front of a camera and divulged every little piece of my strategy but APW... APW and Asylum are full of those who just can't seem to digest my wisdom. They are too caught up in their pre-conceived notions on what a champion should look like, how a champion should behave. They are antiquated while I am evolved and if for just one second someone in the back, anyone at all, could have managed to process that, well then they would realise that Christmas Chaos was no surprise. They would have realised that my victory over Sally Talfourd was assured, that it was written in the stars, as it were. A man infused with passion and drive will always defeat an opponent driven by lust and glory.

That's why I need to be the voice, some people, they're just not smart enough to understand the current wrestling landscape. They don't want to think about the evolution and upheaval that my victory has set forth. I need to speak for them, I need to be their champion and in the year 2013, everyone will slowly but surely come around to my way of thinking. I accept this award to show the fallacy of the past, as a token to remind me of where APW once stood without me as their leader.

Atkens and company walks off the stage

Tony: Please welcome, Alexander Duvall and Sienna Harrison

Alexander Duvall walks hand in hand with Sienna Harrison as they climb up the stage. They take their place at the podium.

Alexander Duvall: Ladies and Gentlemen, the lovely Sienna Harrison and myself have been asked to present Feud of the year because, well we know a thing or two about conflict don’t we.

Sienna Harrison: It takes many combustable elements to create a truly memorable feud. All of our nominees have that very special thing that takes a quarrel into an epic battle of body and mind!

Alexander Duvall: HERE are your nominees…..

As they speak, clips are shown of each feud.

Sienna Harrison: Terry Marvin Vs Keaton Saint

Alexander Duvall: Terry Marvin Vs Kurt Noble

Sienna Harrison: Michael Callahan vs. Sally Talfourd.

Alexander Duvall: Michael Lively vs. the Meltdown Roster

Sienna Harrison: Delikado vs. Chris Hart

Alexander Duvall: Delikado vs. Mark Mania

Sienna Harrison: Knuckles vs. Atken

Alexander Duvall: Anthony Bailey vs. Jason Kash

The clips end and Alexander smiles as Sienna opens the Envelope.

Sienna Harrison: And the winner is…… TERRY MARVIN vs. KURT NOBLE!!!!

Terry struts onto the stage folowed by Kurt Noble. Terry is first to talk

Terry Marvin: Wow, it’s very nice to see that you guys enjoyed Kurt and myself beating the living hell out of each other for a couple weeks. I’d like to thank Kurt for being a professional about the whole thing….unfortunately he’s turned into a homicidal FUCK HEAD, so I clearly can’t!

Terry smirks

Terry Marvin: But seriously, I’d have to thank AMY NOBLE for inserting herself into this feud and making it one of the more memorable moments this far in my career. When something like the Undisputed title is on the line, emotions are bound to run hot. And when two egotistical brutes like Kurt and myself collide, well things are bound to get out of control. I’m glad it created something special for all you chumps out there sitting on your asses just hoping for some break from your monotonous lives. Thank you!

Terry exits the stage and Kurt just walks off not saying a word.




Ferrari: Ladies and gentlemen, here this evening to present the award for 'Heel of the Year', please welcome Aubrey J. Parker and Logan Alexander-- M&M!

The audience cheers as "Dare" hits the PA system. The team M&M makes their way to the stage with Logan holding onto the North American Title and Aubrey J. Parker holding the envelope which holds the name of the winner of the next award.

They approach the podium with Parker being the first to grab the microphone. She laughs a bit and turns to Logan.

AJP: What would you say defines a 'heel'? I don't know if I've ever heard that word.

Logan shrugs slightly.

LA: Maybe the person who steps on others the most perhaps? You know... like a foot.

AJP: So... foot of the year?

LA: I'm just guessing here. Maybe it's slang. I forgot my wrestling slang dictionary at home though.

Parker sighs and shrugs, clearly at a loss to define the word.

AJP: Alright. The nominees for foot of the year are...

The Jumbotron switches views to show a small video package, followed by highlights of each of the nominees:

HEEL of the Year

LEVEL ONE...

TERRY MARVIN...

EVAN ENVI...

MICHAEL CALLAHAN...

MICHAEL LIVELY...

The camera pans back to M&M. Aubrey turns to Logan.

AJP: How did you feel about those heels?

LA: There's an undeniable level of talent there, and they'll all step on anyone that gets in their way. You may not like the way they do things, but you can't argue with the end results.

AJP: Everyone on this list has had an impressive year. So to end it by picking up an APW Award? Well... some would say that's quite a...

feat.

LA: I think we may win worst 'running' joke with that one.

AJP: God help us all. There are bad puns afoot.

LA: Maybe we overstepped with this bit.

With that, he takes the envelope from Parker and opens it. He starts to peek, but Parker takes the card back.

AJP: And the winner for Heel of the Year... Is...

Parker holds the card, and looks at it before showing it to Logan, the two sharing a fake gasp.

AJP: TERRY...

LA: ...MARVIN!

Terry's music hits and he smirks before slowly getting out of his seat and ominously making his way to the stage. M&M applaud on the stage, and Logan hands him his trophy-- but Terry snatches it and tells the two of them to move as he goes up to the podium.

Terry Marvin: Never has it felt SOOOO good to be this hated. You people come out here each and every week and boo me relentlessly thinking that somehow it will seap in my head and make me weaker. But like the dark side of the force, I feed off your hatred and it will only make me STRONGER! Thank you all for being jealous pricks who don't understand a damn thing. Thank You....Thank You....AND FUCK YOU!

Terry takes a bow with one middle finger extended before staying on the stage to present the next award.

Tony: Please welcome to join Terry Marvin....LEVEL ONE

Level One take the stage and wave at their adoring fans….who really don’t exist. He stands next to Terry.

Terry Marvin: Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve been asked to present the GOOD GUY of the year award and this year LEVEL ONE has been snubbed out of this category even after all the good you’ve done for APW.

Level One: It really is a travesty! But this year, I refer to this as the “Puppet of the people who really don’t give a shit about me. “

Terry Marvin: Well The Nominees are….
Clips are shown of each one.

Level One: Sally Talfourd, Kurt Noble, CJ Gates, Chris Hart, TJ

Terry Marvin: YUCK

Level One: And the winner is…….CJ GATES!


CJ stands up from the audience and makes his way up the stage and stands at the podium with his award

CJ: It hasn't been an easy year, but this award shows me that it was all worth it. Thanks to everyone that has helped make it worth it. And of course, I wouldn't be here without the fans. Without each and every one of you cheering for me and pushing me forward, I would not be standing here before you accepting my second Face of the Year award. Thank you!

CJ walks off the stage as we go to our final commercial of the night

[President Jeff]

Tony: Please welcome this time, the New APW Xtreme Champion, AC SMITH!

ALL OF THE LIGHTS

Out comes the APW Xtreme Champion, A.C. Smith, clad in a suit and tie with his hand waving at the cheering crowd. He comes to the podium, adjusts the microphone for his 6'8" height.

A.C.: "In order to be the best of the best, you need to be able to fire up a crowd. The nominees in this next category did that as well as anyone in the business ever has. It's my honor to present the APW Award for RP of the Year.

The nominees are:

Level One, "One's Double Date."

Terry Marvin, "A Game of Thrones (Part One)."

Kurt Noble, "Greatness."

Johnny Knuckles, "Survive and Conquer."

Evan Envi, "MegaMegaStar Vol. 4: The Walking Dead."

And Johnny Rebel, "Chamber Games."

The winner is..."

Smith opens the envelope.

A.C.: (with a look of disgust on his face) "...Terry Marvin, 'A Game of Thrones

Terry smiles as he slowly stands up and shakes hands with those around him. He then makes his way up to the stage to be accepted his award. He steps to the podium and smiles.

Terry Marvin: WOW! Just Wow. I must say that it’s truly an honor to be given an award for putting on the most entertaining piece of television of the year. I really had a LOT of fun making this piece and a lot of time and effort went into it. AS WELL AS a lot of God damn money. The cash I spent on making this short segment could have made a couple low budget films.

Terry smiles as the crowd chuckles a bit.

Terry Marvin: Which I’m sure will be one HELL of a shock to President Jeff when he’s checking the year end books. And that reminds me a SPECIAL thank you goes out to Jeff for paying for this monstrosity, even though he’s just NOW finding out about it! Thank You all!

Terry holds up his award before walking off the stage

Tony Ferrari: Ladies and gentlemen, here to present MATCH OF THE YEAR, please welcome the MegaMegaStar... EVANNNNN ENVIIIIIII!

"Helter Skelter" hits the PA system and the crowd elicits a mixed reaction as Evan Envi makes his way out from the back and approaches the podium erected in the center of the stage. He smirks, a slight swagger in his step as he makes his way up to the microphone. His music finally dies down and he sighs.

Envi: Do you guys know why I'm out here right now?

Evan's eyes scan the audience and he nods toward an overzealous girl who throws her hands up, begging to give an answer. She screams out something that the camera doesn't entirely pick up, but apparently Envi does.

Envi: Yes. I'm out here to present match of the year. But that means... I WASN'T NOMINATED FOR IT. And why not? Because of you. Because of all of you overlooked Evan Envi in 2012. Have you guys seen Evan Envi versus Kurt Noble? How about Envi versus Delikado versus Terry Marvin? How about Envi versus Noble again? Here's one... How about Evan Envi versus Carmen Rivera?

The crowd boos loudly at the name and Envi perk an eyebrow in apparent dismay.

Envi: But you know what-- that's fine! And let me promise you guys something. I will not be presenting this award this time next year. So without further ado, let's see what you people thought the best match of 2012 was. Ugh.

Nominees (Match of the Year)

The Survive and Conquer match

CJ Gates Vs Noble Vs Blade Vs Rebel (Rasslemania)

Level One Vs Sally Talfourd (Rasslemania)

Kurt Noble Vs CJ Gates (Mayhem)

Jason Kash Vs Anthony Bailey (Test for the best)

Overdrive Championship Scramble (Shockwave)

Overdrive Elimination Chamber (One Night in Hell)

Terry Marvin Vs Biggs (Christmas Chaos)

The nominees finish rolling and Evan sighs, bringing the card up to his face. He widens his eyes and then narrows them again.

Envi: And... The winner... AND IT'S NOT ME, BY THE WAY, BECAUSE Y'ALL DIDN'T VOTE FOR ME... Ahem... The WINNER... Is...

Envi sighs.

Envi: I'll wait.

Envi waits for a few seconds and then a drumroll plays over the PA system. He nods, satisfied, and leans to the microphone.

Envi: THE MATCH OF THE YEAR, AS VOTED BY YOU, IS...THE OVERDRIVE ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH!

Kurt and CJ make their way up to the stage and Terry Marvin wastes no time running up the stage and takes the award from the hands of Evan Envi. He raises it up victorious.

Terry Marvin: OF COURSE it was the match of the year!!! After all, I was in it so it clearly met the most basic of criteria. Then when you factor in the fact that I crawled and scratched over FOUR former Undisputed Champion and a very capable Chris Hart to do so, none of the other LESSER matches on the nomination committee could hold a candle!

Terry chuckles before continuing.

Terry Marvin: But really, I’d like to thank the 5 also rans who were involved in that match that allowed me to make it so damned EPIC. And I’d like to thank President Jeff who attempted to stack the deck against the Greatest Undisputed Champion of all time only to have it backfire in GRAND fashion.

Terry takes a bow as the music plays him off and Kurt and CJ don’t get a chance to speak back to his seat


Tony: Please welcome our next presenter of the evening, he is the owner of Acton Packed Wrestling, President Hurricane Jeff!

Raining Blood by Slayer hit’s the PA and Jeff comes out in a suit and tie as he walks up to the podium.

Jeff: First I want to congratulate all the winners so far here tonight. I’m here to present two awards as I do every year. First, the Pay Per View of the year. Seven times a year, who hold a Pay Per View. And every time, we blow everyone away. Just when you think we can’t out do ourselves, we do. And we will do so again in 2013 with Survive and Conquer.

2012 was a great year for APW Pay Per Views. Lots of memorable matches and moments that people will remember for a long time. Your nominations for Pay Per View of the Year

Survive and Conquer
Rasslemania VIII
Mayhem
Test for the Best
Shockwave
One Night in Hell
Christmas Chaos

Jeff opens up the envelop

Jeff: And the winner is…………

Its a Tie between One Night in Hell and Christmas Chaos

The audience cheer as a small highlight video of the events is shown.

Jeff: And now, for the final award of the night. The award where all the megastars compete for, and it’s the Megastar of the Year Award. APW has the best wrestlers in the world today. A number of people could have won this award, but there can only be one. Your nominations are

Kurt Noble

Anthony Bailey

Terry Marvin

Sally Talfourd

Jason Kash


And your APW Megastar of the Year is……

TERRY MARVIN!!

Terry jumps out of his seat looking extremely shocked and surprised. He hugs The LeWinters, Felipe, and goes to hug Level One but settles for a quickly improvised Handshake. He then runs full speed up to the stage acting like this is the biggest deal ever.

Terry Marvin: Oh my God! Oh my God! I don't know what to say.... i guess I can sum it all up with.....

Suddenly the surprise fades from his expression and he smirks.

Terry Marvin: DUH!!!!

He laughs as the crowd goes silent, feeling completely duped once again.

Terry Marvin: Seriously? Who else were you going to give this award to? This was the YEAR of the REAL SHOW! I owned it from my first match of the year beating the legendary Level-One, to my performance at Survive and Conquer, to my historic reign as Overdrive Champion...to claiming the prize of Undisputed Champion!

Firstly I'd like to thank myself for being so FUCKING awesome.

Second, I'd like to thank God.....for making me so FUCKING awesome.

Lastly I'd like to thank Kurt Noble for having a complete and total mental meltdown that made winning this title so damn SWEET!

I promise you all, you ain't seen nothing yet! The REAL SHOW ERA will live on..... IT'S SHOWTIME!

Harvey: Thats all folks

Chase: We'll see you all again tomorrow Night for Overdrive!!

With that, the APW logo flashes on the screen and we go off the air