Post by Evan De Parker on Jan 2, 2013 21:59:52 GMT -4
December 31, 2012
”You know what your problem is, Mr. Evan?”
Blink into color.
We are standing behind Evan Envi and the eleven-year-old childwoman he has begrudgingly come to care for in the absence of his girlfriend-- her older cousin-- Michelle Weaver. The child, Chastity, watches as Evan uses a Sno-Rake to push clumps of ice off of the hood of his car-- a classic blue ‘67 Chevy Camaro SS.
”I’m sure it doesn’t really matter whether I say I do or I don’t...”
With a grunt and a mighty shove, a large, rectangular block of ice sails off the hood. It smashes into the ground and shatters, to a satisfied squeal from the child.
”...You’re probably gonna run your little mouth anyway. So go on with it.”
”You think you’re too good for everything you have. Even APW.”
Evan pauses and turns, giving the kid an amused look. He angles his head and studies her, but Chastity is unflinching in her gaze.
”What do you mean? Like-- how could you say that?”
He pauses, collecting his thoughts for a moment.
”I live and breathe APW. I am Action P--”
”You are Action Packed Wrestling, right?”
”Wha--”
”You are a lot of things, supposedly.”
Evan sighs and plops the Sno-Rake on the ground, using the wooden handle as if it were some sort of cane, supporting his weight on it as he stares down at Chastity Weaver.
”I wanna know what you’re getting at. And to think... We were getting along so well.”
”We didn’t speak all day.”
”Wasn’t it magnificent?”
He leans into the car through the driver’s door and pops the trunk, shooting Chastity a mildly annoyed glance as he meanders to the rear of the car, dumping the Sno-Rake in the back and closing it.
”And why now? Why throw this nonsense at me now when I’m about to drop you off, pick up Michelle, be gone with you for days upon days, and party with celebrities in Vegas?”
”To stress you out before your day of relaxation. You’ll resent me more, and thus... You’ll remember everything I’ve said. Like for example-- you have a match on Thursday, and the odds aren’t particularly in your favor. Oh... And you’re curtain-jerking again!
“See? Look at how angry you look. I bet you’ll remember this shit for weeks!”
”Look, kid-- I’m not curtain-jerking on Overdrive. I’m wrestling in APW’s first match EVER in 2013. Okay? 2013 begins with me, and 2013 is going to end with me.”
He nods to the passenger side of the car.
”Get in.”
Chastity climbs into the car without much argument, but her eyes don’t leave Evan once they enter.
”This is your career, so you have to twist and contort things to make it appear better than it really is. It’s what you’ve always done, right? You make your shit look like silver. You-- you treat Michelle like garbage but you’re so inventive that you’ve tricked her and even the people watching you in your little fish bowl...”
For the first time in recent memory, Chastity turns to acknowledge the camera, before turning her attention right back to the self-proclaimed MegaMegaStar.
”...And you’ve made her feel like it’s okay to be treated like she does. You’re a terrible fucking person, Evan, but you’ve heard the way the crowds react just like I have. You’re not deaf... They-- those people don’t even hate you for it. You treat everybody like shit and 60% of them are cheering you anyway.
“So as a kid-- right?-- as a kid I always have to sit here and wonder if you’re right when you say I’m rude, and that I’m out of line for the things that I say to you. When I go to school and I’m reprimanded for the things that I say to the other kids, the dumber kids, I have to sit there and wonder if I’m wrong for the things that I said to them.”
”I don’t know where this is going, and what this has to do with me and my year, but let me say, I’m astounded at your vocabula--”
”You set a bad example for children.”
”WHAT?!”
”That’s right.”
Evan stares at Chastity Weaver in utter shock.
”What the f--”
”See? It’s shit like that. That’s why I cuss. Because you do it.”
”I’m--”
”It’s all you! I got it from you!”
Evan frowns and takes a step back, shaking his head.
”You’re a liar.”
”It’s sad. But it’s true.”
The twenty-four year old looks down at the young lady, his bottom lip quivering for a moment, but he quickly substitutes it for a scowl and folds his arms over his chest.
”So how would I fix it?”
”I dunno. There are a whole lot of things you could do. First and foremost-- you could stop being a dick.”
Evan stares blankly at the verbally abusive eleven-year-old.
”Anything more practical, boss?”
”Yeah.”
Chastity fastens her seatbelt and turns to look at Envi, expectantly. With a small smirk, he does the same and shrugs, waiting for her to continue.
”If you want to be successful, make the kids love you. If the kids love you, their parents love you. If their parents love you... Sponsors love you. And...”
”I think I get it.”
”I knew you would. You’re sharp.”
”Quick, even.”
Chastity raises her eyebrows and gives Evan a challenging half-smile.
”Yeah... quick, even.”
Evan stares ahead at the young lady, refusing to flinch, refusing to blink until his eyes seemingly burn red.
January 1, 2013
”I’ve been thinking about what you told me. About needing to appeal to the kids.”
Evan Envi groans as he pushes himself off of the only mildly-comfortable hotel bed. His vision is blurred at first, obscuring the very appearance of the woman in front of him, but he can distinguish the straightened blonde hair. He can distinguish the fair skin and blue eyes...
...Within seconds, he lurches with the realization that the woman sitting in front of him is Jenny Knite.
”What ar...”
Evan throws a hand over his mouth, groaning as the smell of liquor drifts up into his nostrils. He could smell it everywhere-- it’s impossible to distinguish a specific source. He closes his eyes and exhales deeply while Jenny smiles, making her way to the built-in kitchen within the suite.
”You must not remember. You were a little-- erm-- tipsy, when you stumbled in here last night.”
”Last night?”
”I guess ‘this morning’ might be more accurate.”
She returns to the side of the bed with a glass of chilled water. Evan eyeballs it, but makes no move to accept it from the girl he (perhaps, regretfully) hired as his agent.
”What are you doing here? How ...URGH!”
Hastily, he grabs the glass of water and drinks half of it before lowering it and shaking his head at Jenny.
”You didn’t book this hotel.”
”No. I was actually invited to Terry’s party. You would’ve noticed that when I showed up around 11:45, but by that time, as I said, you were a little ‘tipsy’.”
”Where’s Michelle?”
”You don’t remember?”
Evan takes another sip of the water but his eyes never leave Jenny.
”Poor baby...”
Evan lowers the glass and takes a deep breath.
”Well?”
”I’ll tell you after you tell me what I need to know, Ev.”
”Excuse me? Who’s working for who here?”
Jenny smiles faintly and brings a hand to Evan’s cheek.
”I need to know what you and Delikado are going to do to beat Nick Watson and the Sons of the South this week.”
”I’m... Sorry... Does that take priority over my conveniently missing girlfriend?”
”It may.”
Jenny and Evan remain locked in an gaze for several moments before Evan groans and pushes himself up and off of the bed, laughing a bit to himself as he looks at the twenty-year-old he hired as his agent, just two short months ago.
”Well, the way I see it-- I was able to beat Bane and Gooch pretty much by myself, right? I mean-- in that match, I had Delikado. Shadow came in and chased Delikado away. And then I prevailed over Bane and Gooch. This week...”
Evan groans a bit and takes another sip of the water.
”...Same equation. Shadow’s a fucking man-child, so he’ll probably try to tag one of us in with a kick to the jaw or something. Either Delikado or I are completely capable of beating those guys by ourselves. When you factor in that Nick Watson is a non-factor, then you realize, I can’t lose.”
Evan laughs at his logic and extends his hand for a high-five to Jenny, however his agent doesn’t reciprocate the gesture. She sighs and moves a hand up to his wrist, pushing his arm back down and giving him a dissatisfied look, one eyebrow arched.
”Is that really how you see things?”
”Eh.”
”Evan.”
Evan sighs.
”I don’t know how we’re going to do it. I just know that we are, okay? Shadow is just another obstacle, and whatever issue he has with Craven isn’t going to work in our favor. I get that.
“I just know we can beat them. If we can keep Shadow out of that final decision, then we have a chance. I don’t know if Shadow is willing to fight for our side and I don’t know how he matches up against people like Bane and Gooch. I know Delikado and I can take them on, because we have. We’ve done it, and we’ve won.”
”And Watson?”
”Same. Delikado and I have defeated Watson. Shadow’s the only one that hasn’t...”
He shrugs.
”Shadow’s good enough to hold his own in this match. But when it comes to the heavy-lifting, that’s Envikado’s department.
“No... Bane and Gooch aren’t pushovers. I know that. I know I can’t repeat what I did last time. I got lucky. Deli and I both got really lucky that we were able to pick up that win.”
”Then what are you expecting?”
”I’m expecting their partner to be as much a detriment to them as ours is to us.”
”Watson doesn’t have a problem with the Sons of the South.”
”Maybe not, but... At least I know Shadow will show up. Y’know? That’s more than I can say for Nick Watson half the time.”
”He might surprise you.”
By this time, Evan has pushed himself to the bathroom of his hotel suite. He stands with his hands gripping either side of the sink, peering into the foggy, scratched glass of the mirror back at himself. He turns the cold water on and bends down, splashing water into his face. It’s only a few seconds before Jenny Knite stands in the doorway, one hand placed on her hip as she watches him.
”You shouldn’t have drank so much. You have to present an award tomorrow.”
Envi turns the faucet off and stands upright. His bloodshot eyes travel away from the mirror and onto Jenny.
”Where’s Michelle?”
Jenny frowns a bit and crosses her arms. Evan moves away from the sink and places both hands on Jenny’s shoulders-- though his grip is far too hostile to be confused for anything reassuring.
”Ow! Okay. She’s visiting one of her friends. I caught her as she was walking out.”
”You SPOKE to her?!”
”YES, Evan. I’m your agent, not your mistress. I mean--”
She smiles bashfully and her eyes widen as she takes a step closer to Evan, moving both of her hands to either side of his torso.
”Unless you want me to be.”
”Gaaahhhhd...”
Evan casually dismisses Jenny, bumping past her as he edges between her and the doorway, scolding her each step of the way.
”You can’t do this stuff, you psycho. You can’t just sneak into my hotel room. You can’t tell me how to wrestle my matches. You CANNOT TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND... Puh-lease tell me we’re about to reach an understanding.”
”You only look guilty when you try to hide me. I’m the best thing you’ve got going for you right now, Ev.”
”It’s not ‘Ev’ to you. It’s Evan. In fact, it’s not even Evan. It’s Envi.”
”I’m the best thing you’ve got going for you, Envi. The best.”
If one of her goals of the day was to send chills up the MegaMegaStar’s spine, she’s succeeding. Brilliantly.
”So... Back to our discussion. I’ve been thinking about what you told me. About the kids.”
Jenny smiles eerily and moves toward Evan again, moving her hands to his torso once more. This time, he doesn’t resist. He simply stares at her, looking from one eye to the other.
”I think I know how to help. We’re gonna change everything about you...”
”I don’t wanna change everything about me. I like me.”
Jenny smiles faintly.
”You’ll like you even more after I’m done.”
January 2, 2013
We blink into a scene of Evan Envi sitting in front of us, backstage at the John Bassett Theatre in Toronto, Ontario. He’s on a leather couch and we can only assume that he’s in his own specified locker room. He is gripping the APW “Rising Star of 2012” award, looking down at it with an odd half-smile on his face. It wouldn’t be entirely correct to call it a smile... The corners of his mouth are perked up, but there isn’t much amusement on his face. There are seconds where we think that Evan won’t speak-- seconds where we may even believe that there are technical difficulties because of Envi’s stillness.
”You’d laugh if I told you how many times I’ve won awards like this.”
Evan sighs and lowers the award from the frame.
”I guess it’s always been fairly accurate. I mean... I’ve never risen to my full potential, anywhere. For one reason or another, it just hasn’t happened. I’ve never won a World Championship. Hell-- I’ve never even won a Tag Team Championship.
“But this isn’t the first time I’ve done this. This isn’t my first gig. For six years, I’ve given my everything to this business, and for twenty-four, I dreamed of being the best. I dreamed of being at the top of my profession... Yet, here we are in 2013, and it isn’t until now that I’ve been able to taste it.”
Evan closes his eyes, savoring the proverbial taste of glory.
”And in the first match of the near year, my talent-- my skills are disrespected by putting Envikado on the same side of the ring as... Shadow. Not only do we have to partner with the infamous man-child, but the special referee-- and apparently special refs are an epidemic these days-- is Shadow’s former tag team partner, his current nemesis, Slade Craven. Is that the way you treat your Rising Star? Is that the way you treat your Backstage Megastar of the Year, Delikado?
“Come on, guys. Look at this. Look at the obvious bias from management.
“This match goes beyond wrestling skills. Bane and Gooch are among the best to come from Meltdown since me. But this wasn’t booked as a showcase of skill. This isn’t a showcase of power against skill. This isn’t tag team against tag team.
“What this match is about, is exacerbating the trust issues between Shadow and Craven, and I for one think it’s sick. I think it’s a blatant misuse of power and... Hah... If things were up to me and Delikado, which they should be, little stunts like this wouldn’t be pulled. Okay? It’s a disgrace. It’s a travesty. And it’s blatant robbery.
“You people watching at home shouldn’t be cheering for people like Nick Watson, Mac Bane, and Buckson Gooch. They’re people that support shenanigans like this. You guys don’t even grasp the problem here.”
Evan sighs and finally opens his eyes again.
”This is a grade-A example of exploitation.”
He shakes his head in disappointment.
”And you fans should feel robbed. In fact-- you should picket and PROTEST against this sanctioning of a match like this. Whereas people like Alexander Duvall and Sienna Harrison are over on Meltdown giving you the matches you want, there are clowns like Johnny Diamond over here on Overdrive booking nonsensical matches out of spite.
“Luckily for you guys and luckily for Overdrive, Envikado is designed for stuff like this. We perform better when the odds are stacked against us... And if you want an example of that, check what happened last time we faced off against Nick Watson. Check what happened last time we faced Bane. Check what happened last time we faced Gooch.
“Shadow may have his own personal vendetta, but it can only do so much, folks!”
Evan laughs and rubs his eyes.
”And whatever he has planned will not be enough to throw a wrench into Envikado’s game-plan. Do you understand?
“We’re just too frickin’ good. We’ve too good to kick the year off with a loss to a couple of hillbillies and a prick that hasn’t given two shits about the company since his debut."
Evan sighs. He reaches down, collects the trophy in his left hand and lifts it once more. He places his forehead against it, smiling faintly as he gazes at the trophy.
"And if you don't believe us? Watch us. Not just tomorrow... Not just on Overdrive... Not even just in 2013.
"Watch us forever."
Darkness.
