Post by Buckson Gooch on Jan 9, 2013 17:33:27 GMT -4
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day. - Johnny Carson
Coach Coker has been in the ground for a few days and the community is still reeling. I understand the grieving process takes time and healing happens slowly. Perhaps if we had seen this coming it wouldn’t have been so traumatic. Time can ease the pain, but so many who knew Coker well haven’t reached that point as they continue to cope with the loss. Granted, it’s only been a week, it stings pretty bad. This won’t be easy to get over and the community seems to be handling the loss differently.
He was the friend who was living out his childhood dream of coaching in a small community he could love and would love him. He was the friend who spent Thanksgiving Day hunting with his friends and then spending quality time with his family. He was the little brother who always had time to listen along with the big brother who could give advice. The sudden nature of this still yanks at my heart.
It would’ve still hurt had we known it was coming. Don’t get me wrong.
My day is met with different emotions. I spent every morning up in Coach’s office. Talking to him. Planning events. Spending time with my best friend. Some psychologists talk about grief happening in stages, but to me it feels more like "waves" or cycles of grief that come and go. I find it hardest in the morning when I would normally see him, I find it a tad easier when I’m busy with work. Those emotions are dependent on what I am doing and if there are triggers for remembering him.
We are going to get to a place of normalcy. That happens. We will all have heavy hearts as we look back on the day he abruptly left, all the while looking forward to make sure he is not forgotten as life goes on.
What I would do to only have 15 minutes left to talk to him.
15 minutes to go fishing.
15 minutes to watch game tape.
15 minutes to eat a meal.
15 minutes can change a life.
I’m not bargaining with God or anything like that. Coach is gone. He’s in the ground. It’s part of life. It’s not fun, but it happens. It’s reality.
This week, 15 minutes could change my life. I’m facing one of the brightest stars of APW. Mark Mania.
Overdrive champion, skilled competitor, Mark Mania.
Former XTreme Champion, brilliant brawler, Mark Mania.
Just defeated Azreal Goeren, Mark Mania.
Mania Enterprise mogul Mark Mania.
I’ve got my hands more than full this week. But the goal of my match isn’t like most matches. Most matches you go in to win...this time I’m going in to survive. If I last 15 minutes, I’ll face Mr. Mania in a match for that Overdrive title.
I know I’m a rookie. I know that on paper, Mark Mania looks to be the victor. I guess that’s why colleges play the game on Saturday. You never know who is going to show up and play. I’m sure coming to “play”
Some competitors would just try to survive for 15 minutes...that will not be Buckson Gooch. I’m going to give my best...and I’m going to not only survive, but I’m going to try to win.
Mark Mania has to know that is what he’s going to get with me.
If you pay me to do a job, I don’t care what it is, I’m going to give 100%, if that’s a wrestling match or digging a ditch, you will get my best...
I will handle this like every trial I’ve endured in my life. When you live a life of nothing coming easy, but always finding a way to succeed, you develop a “will not die” mentality.
Mark Mania, everything you’ve said this week has been accurate.
...I’m sure Johnny Rebel looks at me and wonders what to do with me....
...The fans like me, but they don’t love me...
...Merchandise is slow...but I still think Buckson Gooch Overalls will eventually sell...
...This is the biggest match for me in APW...incorrect, brother. This is the biggest match of my life. This match is going to be the difference in what I can achieve here in APW. You are right, my psyche is on the line. If I can’t even hang in the ring with a guy for 15 minutes, much less beat him, what am I doing? I’ve been able to take care of my family and keep the farm. But what do I do this for? To be a jobber on Overdrive? I’d rather struggle to get by then have my family be ashamed of me.
I’m away from my friends and family as they mourn the loss of one of my best friends and mentors. You don’t think that hurts? I’d like nothing more than to be home. The stinging reality that I’ll never have a cup of coffee with Coker again is still a hard pill to swallow. But I don’t get to sit at home and work.
...I’m on the road...and I’m dealing with the same attitude I’ve had to deal with since I arrived in APW...
I’m not the most polished, the most educated, or the best looking. But that doesn’t mean I’m not destined for success. If you put parameters under success that way, failure is imminent for most...and that doesn’t have to be the case. I feel Einstein said it best, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
I don’t have much book learning, but I’m sure not dumb. I may not have the most experience, but I’m sure not a push-over. I may not be good looking, but I have a wife at home that loves me. I’m happy with who Buckson Gooch is, what I stand for, and what I’ve achieved...and I’m ready to continue to get better.
You had a fair assessment of our match, Mark. I’ll do some moves that may please the crowd or get the announcers excited...but you have taken heart out of the equation. If we just wrestled on skill alone, sure you’d destroy me. Embarass me. Make me realize where I really stood...but we don't call matches on statistics or beauty.
You may think that you are the only one in the world or in APW with problems. When I last this week against you, I’ll have to face you for the Overdrive title AND compete in S&C too. It’s a tall order, but I’m not going to gripe about it.
I’ll rise to the occasion.
Some days are harder than others. But that doesn’t mean we gripe about it. That means we step up and give it our best.
This is a huge match for me...but every week is a huge match for me. I have to give it my all every week. Half speed is when people get hurt. Just look at the pro-bowl in football. Guys go at half speed and end up getting hurt. I have the risk every week of getting hurt and not only not being able to pick up a check for wrestling, but not being able to work my farm.
Every week is life or death.
Every week is huge.
This week may be my biggest opportunity, but you’ll still get the same effort from me.
I’m not scared. Not in the slightest, but I know you don’t think I am. Most are preparing for Survive and Conquer in a few weeks...MY Survive and Conquer is this week. This match will make or break my career...It will make it. I know it.
Early morning
Gooch Farm
Gooch’s eyes slowly opened. A restless night led to a sleepy morning. He pushed the heavy blanket off of him and saw that Annabell was already up. He steps out of bed, his dark long john underwear covering his massive frame. Buck reaches for his overalls and pulls them on over the long johns. Gooch looked out the window, the moon rested in the tenebrous sky, shining across the acreage of Gooch farm. Buck walked over to the door of the bathroom. Even though the door was open, he still took the time to examine it. The door was scratched from years of wear. The heavy door had hung in the house for 108 years at least. He touched the grooves of the door, running his finger down the most prominent scar. As he runs his finger up the scar he catches a splinter as it lodges in his large index finger. He pulls his hand away and pulls the splinter out.
Buckson Gooch: I guess I’ll have to sand that later.
Buckson reflected on what just happened as he went to the bathroom sink to wash his hands. Coker’s body was barely cool in the ground. He stared in the mirror, and saw a pink scar over his eyebrow. He’d had it since he was a kid. He remembered how much it bled. How much it hurt. He remembered the big ugly scab that eventually came off. Now he has a remnant of the injury forever. But there isn’t any pain associated with it.
If only the human psyche were that way. With Coker’s death, there was a giant wound that was trying to heal...and Gooch knew that it would. It would in time. He also knew that even when the psychological wound was healed, what would be left behind is a scar. A place where Coach Coker would live forever, if only in his imagination. The wound would still be fresh for a while though.
Buckson turned the faucet on in the sink and ran his toothbrush under it. He slid some toothpaste on and brushed his teeth. A smile crept over the left side of his mouth. Some people are ignorant enough to think that just because he’s from the south that it means he can’t exercise proper hygiene. He rinses his mouth and smiles in the mirror, the missing teeth sure weren’t because of a lack of care. A few were from fights, a few from farming accidents. He’s had people tease him before about it, especially in school, but it never bothered him. He stared intently into the mirror.
Buckson Gooch: 15 minutes this week, Buck. Survive and Conquer will officially be in a few weeks...but your Survive and Conquer is this week.
Gooch eyes the other scars that cover his face...his neck. He would never be the kind of guy that would go get plastic surgery...scars tell a story, they tell where you’ve been. The culmination of those scars is staring him right in the eye.
Buckson Gooch: ‘Ol Buckson Gooch, you have your work cut out for you this week. That you do.
The crooked smile creeps over his face. There is a genuineness behind his eyes. He respects Mark Mania, he respects him a lot. This is all business, while Mark may view this as a slap in the face, Gooch looks at it as an opportunity.
He realizes he has no business having a match with a megastar like Mark Mania. No matter what caused the match, Buck is going to give his best. He’s not ashamed or embarrassed by the circumstances of the match. He’s going to prove the doubters wrong. That’s what he’s done for his entire adult life.
...You’ll be divorced by the time you are 20, you married too young...
...You’ll lose the farm...
...You’re just a dumb hillbilly...
...Look at those teeth...
...You don’t belong here...
...How can you say it’s fair that I can win the match and still have to face this Neanderthal again?...
...You’re in above your head here, brother...
...Any light isn’t really your friend...
Before Gooch can realize it, the smile is gone from his face as the insults swirl around in his head, mixtures of people from his past and insults from Mark Mania. It’s as if people don’t want to look deeper at a man, just look at the superficial and wish for the worst.
That ain’t me. I expect the best from me, and I try to look for the best in others.
I believe in me.
Annabell Gooch: Are you just going to play in the bathroom all morning, Buck?
The stress melts off of the face of Buck as his wife enters the doorway. Short, frumpy. On the verge of dumpy. Wearing curlers in her hair and sporting on of Buck’s old Arkansas Razorbacks shirts, Annabell smiles at Buck and rests her hand on her protruding stomach.
Buckson Gooch: Any day now, mama. You feeling anything?
Annabell Gooch: Baby is moving, but no signs of labor yet.
Gooch looks at her like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, because to him...she is. He made a choice long ago to love her forever. He’s a man of his word and is keeping that promise. She holds out her hand and Buck grabs it, sliding his fingers between hers.
Buckson Gooch: Mama, it’s going to be a tough week this week. My opponent is one of the best wrestlers in the world. He just beat another one of the best. I’m going to give it may all this week baby...
Annabell interrupts Buck.
Annabell Gooch: I know the road you are traveling down, Buckson Gooch. You stop that this instant. You have always risen to the top. Do I need to remind you about the frogs?
Buck knew telling her yes would be futile, she was going to tell the story.
Annabell Gooch: Two frogs were playing on a rainy day. They hopped and hopped and came into a cottage. There was a churn of milk. Both the frogs fell in.
Annabell feels a contraction and her faces winces, Buck looks at her and she shakes her head. She knows the real ones when they come. This one doesn’t even deter the story.
Annabell Gooch: Both the frogs tried for some time, but in vain. One of the frogs lost hope and said, “I can’t swim no more" and he drowned to the bottom. The other did not lose hope.
She begins to tear up. A big tear runs down her cheek. Most people would see this and think she was being irrational to cry about a story that involves talking frogs, but she’s pregnant with all kinds of emotions running through her. Buck looks at her longingly. He thinks she is adorable.
Annabell Gooch: He kept on swimming. His movements churned the milk into butter. The frog climbed on to a pat of butter and hopped out of the churn. Be that second frog, Buckson Gooch. Don’t even think about the other. Give this match your best shot...I believe in you!
Buck reaches up with his free hand and wipes the tear from Annabelle’s face. She smiles up at her husband.
Annabell Gooch: Come on, Buck. I’ve made you grits and flapjacks, biscuits and chocolate gravy.
Buck smiles real big, he loves some Chocolate gravy. She lets go of his hand, leaving the doorway to the bathroom and walks through the bed room to the hall. Buck looks in the mirror. He’s beaming with pride. He smiles at the mirror and starts talking...
Buckson Gooch: Beautiful wife. Beautiful life. Blessed to have all of my faculties. Mark Mania is going to get the best Buckson Gooch there is. He may not think that is much, but he’ll be in for a surprise. I’m going to last that 15 minutes, I may even do better. I’ll be facing him for that Overdrive title.
Annabell yells from the other room...
Annabell Gooch: Who are you talking to? Get out here and eat!
Buck smiles again and leaves the bathroom, dawn is starting to creep into the house. There are chores to do and Buck is the man to do them. You don’t get to take a day off as a farmer, the animals and the land require daily upkeep. Buck compares that to himself. He doesn’t take a day off from being Buckson Gooch. A man of integrity, A man of his word, and a man who gives his best no matter the odds. Coker lived his life that way, and Gooch is going to keep that going. If Coker were around, he'd be proud of Buck this week. PossomGrape's son, Buckson Gooch, is going to be facing a big challenge this week...a challenge he is ready for.
Coach Coker has been in the ground for a few days and the community is still reeling. I understand the grieving process takes time and healing happens slowly. Perhaps if we had seen this coming it wouldn’t have been so traumatic. Time can ease the pain, but so many who knew Coker well haven’t reached that point as they continue to cope with the loss. Granted, it’s only been a week, it stings pretty bad. This won’t be easy to get over and the community seems to be handling the loss differently.
He was the friend who was living out his childhood dream of coaching in a small community he could love and would love him. He was the friend who spent Thanksgiving Day hunting with his friends and then spending quality time with his family. He was the little brother who always had time to listen along with the big brother who could give advice. The sudden nature of this still yanks at my heart.
It would’ve still hurt had we known it was coming. Don’t get me wrong.
My day is met with different emotions. I spent every morning up in Coach’s office. Talking to him. Planning events. Spending time with my best friend. Some psychologists talk about grief happening in stages, but to me it feels more like "waves" or cycles of grief that come and go. I find it hardest in the morning when I would normally see him, I find it a tad easier when I’m busy with work. Those emotions are dependent on what I am doing and if there are triggers for remembering him.
We are going to get to a place of normalcy. That happens. We will all have heavy hearts as we look back on the day he abruptly left, all the while looking forward to make sure he is not forgotten as life goes on.
What I would do to only have 15 minutes left to talk to him.
15 minutes to go fishing.
15 minutes to watch game tape.
15 minutes to eat a meal.
15 minutes can change a life.
I’m not bargaining with God or anything like that. Coach is gone. He’s in the ground. It’s part of life. It’s not fun, but it happens. It’s reality.
This week, 15 minutes could change my life. I’m facing one of the brightest stars of APW. Mark Mania.
Overdrive champion, skilled competitor, Mark Mania.
Former XTreme Champion, brilliant brawler, Mark Mania.
Just defeated Azreal Goeren, Mark Mania.
Mania Enterprise mogul Mark Mania.
I’ve got my hands more than full this week. But the goal of my match isn’t like most matches. Most matches you go in to win...this time I’m going in to survive. If I last 15 minutes, I’ll face Mr. Mania in a match for that Overdrive title.
I know I’m a rookie. I know that on paper, Mark Mania looks to be the victor. I guess that’s why colleges play the game on Saturday. You never know who is going to show up and play. I’m sure coming to “play”
Some competitors would just try to survive for 15 minutes...that will not be Buckson Gooch. I’m going to give my best...and I’m going to not only survive, but I’m going to try to win.
Mark Mania has to know that is what he’s going to get with me.
If you pay me to do a job, I don’t care what it is, I’m going to give 100%, if that’s a wrestling match or digging a ditch, you will get my best...
I will handle this like every trial I’ve endured in my life. When you live a life of nothing coming easy, but always finding a way to succeed, you develop a “will not die” mentality.
Mark Mania, everything you’ve said this week has been accurate.
...I’m sure Johnny Rebel looks at me and wonders what to do with me....
...The fans like me, but they don’t love me...
...Merchandise is slow...but I still think Buckson Gooch Overalls will eventually sell...
...This is the biggest match for me in APW...incorrect, brother. This is the biggest match of my life. This match is going to be the difference in what I can achieve here in APW. You are right, my psyche is on the line. If I can’t even hang in the ring with a guy for 15 minutes, much less beat him, what am I doing? I’ve been able to take care of my family and keep the farm. But what do I do this for? To be a jobber on Overdrive? I’d rather struggle to get by then have my family be ashamed of me.
I’m away from my friends and family as they mourn the loss of one of my best friends and mentors. You don’t think that hurts? I’d like nothing more than to be home. The stinging reality that I’ll never have a cup of coffee with Coker again is still a hard pill to swallow. But I don’t get to sit at home and work.
...I’m on the road...and I’m dealing with the same attitude I’ve had to deal with since I arrived in APW...
I’m not the most polished, the most educated, or the best looking. But that doesn’t mean I’m not destined for success. If you put parameters under success that way, failure is imminent for most...and that doesn’t have to be the case. I feel Einstein said it best, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
I don’t have much book learning, but I’m sure not dumb. I may not have the most experience, but I’m sure not a push-over. I may not be good looking, but I have a wife at home that loves me. I’m happy with who Buckson Gooch is, what I stand for, and what I’ve achieved...and I’m ready to continue to get better.
You had a fair assessment of our match, Mark. I’ll do some moves that may please the crowd or get the announcers excited...but you have taken heart out of the equation. If we just wrestled on skill alone, sure you’d destroy me. Embarass me. Make me realize where I really stood...but we don't call matches on statistics or beauty.
You may think that you are the only one in the world or in APW with problems. When I last this week against you, I’ll have to face you for the Overdrive title AND compete in S&C too. It’s a tall order, but I’m not going to gripe about it.
I’ll rise to the occasion.
Some days are harder than others. But that doesn’t mean we gripe about it. That means we step up and give it our best.
This is a huge match for me...but every week is a huge match for me. I have to give it my all every week. Half speed is when people get hurt. Just look at the pro-bowl in football. Guys go at half speed and end up getting hurt. I have the risk every week of getting hurt and not only not being able to pick up a check for wrestling, but not being able to work my farm.
Every week is life or death.
Every week is huge.
This week may be my biggest opportunity, but you’ll still get the same effort from me.
I’m not scared. Not in the slightest, but I know you don’t think I am. Most are preparing for Survive and Conquer in a few weeks...MY Survive and Conquer is this week. This match will make or break my career...It will make it. I know it.
--------------------------------------
Early morning
Gooch Farm
Gooch’s eyes slowly opened. A restless night led to a sleepy morning. He pushed the heavy blanket off of him and saw that Annabell was already up. He steps out of bed, his dark long john underwear covering his massive frame. Buck reaches for his overalls and pulls them on over the long johns. Gooch looked out the window, the moon rested in the tenebrous sky, shining across the acreage of Gooch farm. Buck walked over to the door of the bathroom. Even though the door was open, he still took the time to examine it. The door was scratched from years of wear. The heavy door had hung in the house for 108 years at least. He touched the grooves of the door, running his finger down the most prominent scar. As he runs his finger up the scar he catches a splinter as it lodges in his large index finger. He pulls his hand away and pulls the splinter out.
Buckson Gooch: I guess I’ll have to sand that later.
Buckson reflected on what just happened as he went to the bathroom sink to wash his hands. Coker’s body was barely cool in the ground. He stared in the mirror, and saw a pink scar over his eyebrow. He’d had it since he was a kid. He remembered how much it bled. How much it hurt. He remembered the big ugly scab that eventually came off. Now he has a remnant of the injury forever. But there isn’t any pain associated with it.
If only the human psyche were that way. With Coker’s death, there was a giant wound that was trying to heal...and Gooch knew that it would. It would in time. He also knew that even when the psychological wound was healed, what would be left behind is a scar. A place where Coach Coker would live forever, if only in his imagination. The wound would still be fresh for a while though.
Buckson turned the faucet on in the sink and ran his toothbrush under it. He slid some toothpaste on and brushed his teeth. A smile crept over the left side of his mouth. Some people are ignorant enough to think that just because he’s from the south that it means he can’t exercise proper hygiene. He rinses his mouth and smiles in the mirror, the missing teeth sure weren’t because of a lack of care. A few were from fights, a few from farming accidents. He’s had people tease him before about it, especially in school, but it never bothered him. He stared intently into the mirror.
Buckson Gooch: 15 minutes this week, Buck. Survive and Conquer will officially be in a few weeks...but your Survive and Conquer is this week.
Gooch eyes the other scars that cover his face...his neck. He would never be the kind of guy that would go get plastic surgery...scars tell a story, they tell where you’ve been. The culmination of those scars is staring him right in the eye.
Buckson Gooch: ‘Ol Buckson Gooch, you have your work cut out for you this week. That you do.
The crooked smile creeps over his face. There is a genuineness behind his eyes. He respects Mark Mania, he respects him a lot. This is all business, while Mark may view this as a slap in the face, Gooch looks at it as an opportunity.
He realizes he has no business having a match with a megastar like Mark Mania. No matter what caused the match, Buck is going to give his best. He’s not ashamed or embarrassed by the circumstances of the match. He’s going to prove the doubters wrong. That’s what he’s done for his entire adult life.
...You’ll be divorced by the time you are 20, you married too young...
...You’ll lose the farm...
...You’re just a dumb hillbilly...
...Look at those teeth...
...You don’t belong here...
...How can you say it’s fair that I can win the match and still have to face this Neanderthal again?...
...You’re in above your head here, brother...
...Any light isn’t really your friend...
Before Gooch can realize it, the smile is gone from his face as the insults swirl around in his head, mixtures of people from his past and insults from Mark Mania. It’s as if people don’t want to look deeper at a man, just look at the superficial and wish for the worst.
That ain’t me. I expect the best from me, and I try to look for the best in others.
I believe in me.
Annabell Gooch: Are you just going to play in the bathroom all morning, Buck?
The stress melts off of the face of Buck as his wife enters the doorway. Short, frumpy. On the verge of dumpy. Wearing curlers in her hair and sporting on of Buck’s old Arkansas Razorbacks shirts, Annabell smiles at Buck and rests her hand on her protruding stomach.
Buckson Gooch: Any day now, mama. You feeling anything?
Annabell Gooch: Baby is moving, but no signs of labor yet.
Gooch looks at her like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, because to him...she is. He made a choice long ago to love her forever. He’s a man of his word and is keeping that promise. She holds out her hand and Buck grabs it, sliding his fingers between hers.
Buckson Gooch: Mama, it’s going to be a tough week this week. My opponent is one of the best wrestlers in the world. He just beat another one of the best. I’m going to give it may all this week baby...
Annabell interrupts Buck.
Annabell Gooch: I know the road you are traveling down, Buckson Gooch. You stop that this instant. You have always risen to the top. Do I need to remind you about the frogs?
Buck knew telling her yes would be futile, she was going to tell the story.
Annabell Gooch: Two frogs were playing on a rainy day. They hopped and hopped and came into a cottage. There was a churn of milk. Both the frogs fell in.
Annabell feels a contraction and her faces winces, Buck looks at her and she shakes her head. She knows the real ones when they come. This one doesn’t even deter the story.
Annabell Gooch: Both the frogs tried for some time, but in vain. One of the frogs lost hope and said, “I can’t swim no more" and he drowned to the bottom. The other did not lose hope.
She begins to tear up. A big tear runs down her cheek. Most people would see this and think she was being irrational to cry about a story that involves talking frogs, but she’s pregnant with all kinds of emotions running through her. Buck looks at her longingly. He thinks she is adorable.
Annabell Gooch: He kept on swimming. His movements churned the milk into butter. The frog climbed on to a pat of butter and hopped out of the churn. Be that second frog, Buckson Gooch. Don’t even think about the other. Give this match your best shot...I believe in you!
Buck reaches up with his free hand and wipes the tear from Annabelle’s face. She smiles up at her husband.
Annabell Gooch: Come on, Buck. I’ve made you grits and flapjacks, biscuits and chocolate gravy.
Buck smiles real big, he loves some Chocolate gravy. She lets go of his hand, leaving the doorway to the bathroom and walks through the bed room to the hall. Buck looks in the mirror. He’s beaming with pride. He smiles at the mirror and starts talking...
Buckson Gooch: Beautiful wife. Beautiful life. Blessed to have all of my faculties. Mark Mania is going to get the best Buckson Gooch there is. He may not think that is much, but he’ll be in for a surprise. I’m going to last that 15 minutes, I may even do better. I’ll be facing him for that Overdrive title.
Annabell yells from the other room...
Annabell Gooch: Who are you talking to? Get out here and eat!
Buck smiles again and leaves the bathroom, dawn is starting to creep into the house. There are chores to do and Buck is the man to do them. You don’t get to take a day off as a farmer, the animals and the land require daily upkeep. Buck compares that to himself. He doesn’t take a day off from being Buckson Gooch. A man of integrity, A man of his word, and a man who gives his best no matter the odds. Coker lived his life that way, and Gooch is going to keep that going. If Coker were around, he'd be proud of Buck this week. PossomGrape's son, Buckson Gooch, is going to be facing a big challenge this week...a challenge he is ready for.
