Post by Mark Mania on Jan 16, 2013 16:02:00 GMT -4
“Every month. Every single fucking month.”
“Relax Mark, it’s okay. Just do what you do.”
“How? How the fuck am I supposed to excel when the cards are consistently being stacked against me?”
“You’re Mark Mania, it’s what you do, no matter what.”
“Just seems like bullshit to me.”
I had just seen the card for this week’s Overdrive. There are certain things that bother me when I do that. The most of which is that I keep getting partnered up with people right before I’m going into a singles match. It’s like clockwork that if I’m supposed to be facing someone, first I need to get in a tag match with someone who is going to let me down and then get into the actual match. It’s quite the pain in the ass.
First against Delikado it was Watson and myself versus Deli and Envi. The beginning of ‘Envikado’ that short lived, destined to fail, abomination. Then before Goeren, it was me and Delikado of all people against Goeren and Shadow. Now, me and Watson, who left me out to dry against Delikado and Evan Envi, will face an established tag team of Buckson Gooch and Mac Bane.
Who could’ve called it? Pretty much everyone in the world, right? I just didn’t think that I’d get partnered up with Nick Watson again. I mean, it’s not as bad as Delikado, but I think the past two times Watson has been my partner I’ve been left to my own devices and have suffered the loss because of it. I just can’t handle the predictability and the lack of imagination. I mean, give me a damn challenge. I had Buckson Gooch beat, I was off by one second. One second. That’s the difference between me having to pull double duty at Survive & Conquer and me just peacefully going through the match and enjoying myself.
But no, because of a stupid stipulation, the hillbilly gets a chance at my Overdrive title. I know it’s not fair, and I can’t keep standing for it. I can’t keep being taken advantage of.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to talk to him, he’s reasonable.”
“I don’t think you should do that, Mark. It’s not going to help anything.”
“Well, sitting around and being a pawn isn’t helping anything either.”
“Is there any chance you’re overreacting?”
“Is there any chance you’re underreacting?”
“Is that even a thing?”
“Are you even a thing?”
“Clever.”
Rosa and I are in our hotel room. I’m pacing back and forth. I occasionally pick up the phone, act like I’m about to dial a few numbers and then put it down before I do anything. I know that it would probably hurt my career more than help it if I were to shove my foot in my mouth with Rebel. But, it just seems like there has been too many issues with how I’ve been treated.
“Why don’t you just mention it in your promo? Not like, against General Manager Rebel, but you know, talk about how you’ve been using all of this stuff against you as fuel. Lay out the problems as you see them and then overcome.”
“I know that’s the smart way to deal with this, but, when do I ever deal with things the smart way?”
“Just don’t do anything too stupid please.”
“I just don’t know what’s expected of me! I’m not the corporate guinea pig that just puts up with whatever is put in front of me. I used to be controversial, I used to get people to talk, I used to have some flash!”
“That sounds a little queer.”
“Oh, I don’t mean it that way. I just mean, I used to stand up to the man! I know I have the money and the power and that I am, for all intents and purposes ‘the man’ but I still have a boss. I still answer to people within the APW. What’s that all about? Shouldn’t I be standing up to that person?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t know if I can help myself anymore. I think it might be time for a change.”
“I’m just thinking that whatever this change is, it’s going to end up hurting your career, your image, and your reputation.”
“That’s why I don’t think too much. Never helps anybody.”
“You’re an idiot.”
As I stand outside the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham, England, I’m holding a sign that says, ‘There’s no Nick in Team’ and Rosa is standing next to me, reluctantly holding a sign that says ‘There is Meat in Team though’.
“What do we want?!” I yell.
“A singles match.” Rosa says softly.
“When do we want it!?” I respond.
“Tomorrow night.” Rosa says, even quieter than before.
I continue to march around, lifting my sign up and down.
“No double duty, no double duty!” I scream.
“Say it, Rosa.” I whisper to her as I nudge her with my elbow.
“No double duty.” She squeaks out.
I immediately break into laughter after she says duty. An APW cameraman approaches me as I’m holding my sign high in the air.
“Boy am I glad you’re here. I have something to say to APW television!”
“Mark, what’re you doing here?” The cameraman asks, with a complete puzzled look on his face.
“I’m standing up for the common man. Exercising my right as an American citizen!”
“Dude, we’re in England.”
I look around and notice that we are indeed in England.
“I’m exercising my right as a British citizen.”
“You’re not British, either.”
“Then I’m exercising!”
I march my legs up and down and start lifting my sign like it’s a weight.
“What is this all about, man?”
I drop the sign and look into the camera.
“I’ll tell you what it’s about…man. I’m sick of having to defend myself against all odds. I know it took me awhile to win this Overdrive title, but I won it in one of the most sick and sadistic fashions that anyone has ever seen. That kennel match was ridiculous and I was fighting against a guy who had rabies! Who the hell gets put in that situation? I do. After that, I matched up with someone who for all accounts was called the best free agent to come into APW. A man who was the CWC Champ and I fought him in a hardcore match that sent both of us to the hospital. After that, I go up against the current Xtreme Champion who had an extra day of rest and it was in a hardcore match. And I won that. Then, before Survive & Conquer, the biggest match of the year in all of wrestling, I find out that I might have to face a guy who doesn’t even need to win to get a chance to face me.”
“What the hell is that!? I was literally a second away from winning that match. Gooch never even stood a chance of winning. I knew it, he knew it, and the whole world knew it. Yet, somehow, without even winning the match, he gets to face me at Survive & Conquer for my title. Something he doesn’t even come close to deserving. Ok, fine, that happens, whatever. Next week comes along, I’m matched up with Nick fucking Watson again? He’s a good guy, his mentor Pence was a standup guy, but Watson has fucked me over more times than I care to count. I’ve had to carry his sorry ass in every tag match we’ve been in together, I was hoping that maybe, just maybe this one time I would get someone who could back me up a little bit! Not only that, but the people we’re facing are an established tag team that is attempting to challenge for the tag titles too. Can anyone explain to me how that’s fair?”
“Yet, here I am, week in and week out, competing in whatever match they want me to. How do I get rewarded? When’s the end of the line for me? Everyone else seems to be getting things handed to them, when is it my turn? Doesn’t look like it’s going to be anytime soon. Maybe Rasslemania. Maybe they’ll rename the Overdrive title the Mania-Overdrive Title. I don’t know, I don’t care. I don’t see it happening. All I see happening is another week of me doing the mans works and getting shit done.”
“Speaking of, here we are, outside of the arena where I have to fight a tag team, most likely by myself in order to prove, what, that Buckson Gooch doesn’t stand a chance at my title? Pretty sure I had already proven that. Maybe if Gooch and Bane can beat me together, then someone, somewhere, might actually watch the match between the two of us at Survive & Conquer and not just chalk up the win to me and use it as an opportunity to take a shit.”
“That’s what I’d do if I was watch this match. ‘Oh look, Mark Mania the Overdrive Champion, one of the most decorated wrestlers in the history of the sport is in a match, and he’s facing… Buckson fucking Gooch? A guy who has, uh, done nothing. A guy who lost in fifteen minutes and one second and because of that got a title shot? Yeah, let me watch this piece of shit.’ Who is anybody fooling around here?”
“And let’s talk about this week for a second, who the hell is Mac Bane? Where did these two ‘Sons of the South’ come from? I don’t remember them doing a damn thing to impress anybody. At least Watson, as invisible as he is has won a title in the APW. He’s done things, he’s accomplished actual things in the ring. Buckson Gooch and Mac Bane haven’t done a damn thing. They failed to get the tag titles and they’ve failed to make any sort of dent in the singles game at all. They’re two wastes of space who I guess, if nothing else, are here so that whenever someone from the North watching APW they can make fun of, and whenever someone from the South watches, they can relate to them.”
“I’d like to say that I’m worried about this match or that I think I’ll really have to fight my hardest to beat these guys, but we all know exactly what’s going on here. If Watson shows up, we’ll cruise to victory. If we don’t, I’ll have a little harder time doing it by myself. Will I lose if it’s me versus the hillbilly duo? Quite possibly, but that’s not where the smart money is. The smart money is with the guy who wins. The smart money is with the experience. There’s no one in the APW that has more experience at a higher level than I do. This is my sport and this is my ring. I don’t give a shit if Buckson Gooch and Mac Bane think they’re finally going to find some success in the ring and that they pray and get some sort of divine intervention. I’m not going to look like a fool in that ring wrestling two mongoloids.”
“I’ll take care of myself, do everything that I can do to win, and if I have an actual tag partner, then perfect, he can distract them for a little while before I finish the job. If not, fine, I’ll try a little harder. I’m just sick of being taken advantage of, I’m sick of being treated like a peon and I’m sick of doing whatever I’m told. I think it’s time we see a new Mark Mania around these parts. The type of Mark Mania that commands respect from all and the type of Mark Mania that doesn’t put up with anybody’s shit. I’m the Overdrive Champion god damn it. I’m going to show everyone tomorrow night that I’m not putting up with this shit anymore.”
I raise my sign back up and start chanting again.
“What’s ugly, deformed, and smells terrible?!”
“Poop.” Rosa says after I coax her.
“No! Buckson Gooch!”
“Relax Mark, it’s okay. Just do what you do.”
“How? How the fuck am I supposed to excel when the cards are consistently being stacked against me?”
“You’re Mark Mania, it’s what you do, no matter what.”
“Just seems like bullshit to me.”
I had just seen the card for this week’s Overdrive. There are certain things that bother me when I do that. The most of which is that I keep getting partnered up with people right before I’m going into a singles match. It’s like clockwork that if I’m supposed to be facing someone, first I need to get in a tag match with someone who is going to let me down and then get into the actual match. It’s quite the pain in the ass.
First against Delikado it was Watson and myself versus Deli and Envi. The beginning of ‘Envikado’ that short lived, destined to fail, abomination. Then before Goeren, it was me and Delikado of all people against Goeren and Shadow. Now, me and Watson, who left me out to dry against Delikado and Evan Envi, will face an established tag team of Buckson Gooch and Mac Bane.
Who could’ve called it? Pretty much everyone in the world, right? I just didn’t think that I’d get partnered up with Nick Watson again. I mean, it’s not as bad as Delikado, but I think the past two times Watson has been my partner I’ve been left to my own devices and have suffered the loss because of it. I just can’t handle the predictability and the lack of imagination. I mean, give me a damn challenge. I had Buckson Gooch beat, I was off by one second. One second. That’s the difference between me having to pull double duty at Survive & Conquer and me just peacefully going through the match and enjoying myself.
But no, because of a stupid stipulation, the hillbilly gets a chance at my Overdrive title. I know it’s not fair, and I can’t keep standing for it. I can’t keep being taken advantage of.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to talk to him, he’s reasonable.”
“I don’t think you should do that, Mark. It’s not going to help anything.”
“Well, sitting around and being a pawn isn’t helping anything either.”
“Is there any chance you’re overreacting?”
“Is there any chance you’re underreacting?”
“Is that even a thing?”
“Are you even a thing?”
“Clever.”
Rosa and I are in our hotel room. I’m pacing back and forth. I occasionally pick up the phone, act like I’m about to dial a few numbers and then put it down before I do anything. I know that it would probably hurt my career more than help it if I were to shove my foot in my mouth with Rebel. But, it just seems like there has been too many issues with how I’ve been treated.
“Why don’t you just mention it in your promo? Not like, against General Manager Rebel, but you know, talk about how you’ve been using all of this stuff against you as fuel. Lay out the problems as you see them and then overcome.”
“I know that’s the smart way to deal with this, but, when do I ever deal with things the smart way?”
“Just don’t do anything too stupid please.”
“I just don’t know what’s expected of me! I’m not the corporate guinea pig that just puts up with whatever is put in front of me. I used to be controversial, I used to get people to talk, I used to have some flash!”
“That sounds a little queer.”
“Oh, I don’t mean it that way. I just mean, I used to stand up to the man! I know I have the money and the power and that I am, for all intents and purposes ‘the man’ but I still have a boss. I still answer to people within the APW. What’s that all about? Shouldn’t I be standing up to that person?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t know if I can help myself anymore. I think it might be time for a change.”
“I’m just thinking that whatever this change is, it’s going to end up hurting your career, your image, and your reputation.”
“That’s why I don’t think too much. Never helps anybody.”
“You’re an idiot.”
As I stand outside the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham, England, I’m holding a sign that says, ‘There’s no Nick in Team’ and Rosa is standing next to me, reluctantly holding a sign that says ‘There is Meat in Team though’.
“What do we want?!” I yell.
“A singles match.” Rosa says softly.
“When do we want it!?” I respond.
“Tomorrow night.” Rosa says, even quieter than before.
I continue to march around, lifting my sign up and down.
“No double duty, no double duty!” I scream.
“Say it, Rosa.” I whisper to her as I nudge her with my elbow.
“No double duty.” She squeaks out.
I immediately break into laughter after she says duty. An APW cameraman approaches me as I’m holding my sign high in the air.
“Boy am I glad you’re here. I have something to say to APW television!”
“Mark, what’re you doing here?” The cameraman asks, with a complete puzzled look on his face.
“I’m standing up for the common man. Exercising my right as an American citizen!”
“Dude, we’re in England.”
I look around and notice that we are indeed in England.
“I’m exercising my right as a British citizen.”
“You’re not British, either.”
“Then I’m exercising!”
I march my legs up and down and start lifting my sign like it’s a weight.
“What is this all about, man?”
I drop the sign and look into the camera.
“I’ll tell you what it’s about…man. I’m sick of having to defend myself against all odds. I know it took me awhile to win this Overdrive title, but I won it in one of the most sick and sadistic fashions that anyone has ever seen. That kennel match was ridiculous and I was fighting against a guy who had rabies! Who the hell gets put in that situation? I do. After that, I matched up with someone who for all accounts was called the best free agent to come into APW. A man who was the CWC Champ and I fought him in a hardcore match that sent both of us to the hospital. After that, I go up against the current Xtreme Champion who had an extra day of rest and it was in a hardcore match. And I won that. Then, before Survive & Conquer, the biggest match of the year in all of wrestling, I find out that I might have to face a guy who doesn’t even need to win to get a chance to face me.”
“What the hell is that!? I was literally a second away from winning that match. Gooch never even stood a chance of winning. I knew it, he knew it, and the whole world knew it. Yet, somehow, without even winning the match, he gets to face me at Survive & Conquer for my title. Something he doesn’t even come close to deserving. Ok, fine, that happens, whatever. Next week comes along, I’m matched up with Nick fucking Watson again? He’s a good guy, his mentor Pence was a standup guy, but Watson has fucked me over more times than I care to count. I’ve had to carry his sorry ass in every tag match we’ve been in together, I was hoping that maybe, just maybe this one time I would get someone who could back me up a little bit! Not only that, but the people we’re facing are an established tag team that is attempting to challenge for the tag titles too. Can anyone explain to me how that’s fair?”
“Yet, here I am, week in and week out, competing in whatever match they want me to. How do I get rewarded? When’s the end of the line for me? Everyone else seems to be getting things handed to them, when is it my turn? Doesn’t look like it’s going to be anytime soon. Maybe Rasslemania. Maybe they’ll rename the Overdrive title the Mania-Overdrive Title. I don’t know, I don’t care. I don’t see it happening. All I see happening is another week of me doing the mans works and getting shit done.”
“Speaking of, here we are, outside of the arena where I have to fight a tag team, most likely by myself in order to prove, what, that Buckson Gooch doesn’t stand a chance at my title? Pretty sure I had already proven that. Maybe if Gooch and Bane can beat me together, then someone, somewhere, might actually watch the match between the two of us at Survive & Conquer and not just chalk up the win to me and use it as an opportunity to take a shit.”
“That’s what I’d do if I was watch this match. ‘Oh look, Mark Mania the Overdrive Champion, one of the most decorated wrestlers in the history of the sport is in a match, and he’s facing… Buckson fucking Gooch? A guy who has, uh, done nothing. A guy who lost in fifteen minutes and one second and because of that got a title shot? Yeah, let me watch this piece of shit.’ Who is anybody fooling around here?”
“And let’s talk about this week for a second, who the hell is Mac Bane? Where did these two ‘Sons of the South’ come from? I don’t remember them doing a damn thing to impress anybody. At least Watson, as invisible as he is has won a title in the APW. He’s done things, he’s accomplished actual things in the ring. Buckson Gooch and Mac Bane haven’t done a damn thing. They failed to get the tag titles and they’ve failed to make any sort of dent in the singles game at all. They’re two wastes of space who I guess, if nothing else, are here so that whenever someone from the North watching APW they can make fun of, and whenever someone from the South watches, they can relate to them.”
“I’d like to say that I’m worried about this match or that I think I’ll really have to fight my hardest to beat these guys, but we all know exactly what’s going on here. If Watson shows up, we’ll cruise to victory. If we don’t, I’ll have a little harder time doing it by myself. Will I lose if it’s me versus the hillbilly duo? Quite possibly, but that’s not where the smart money is. The smart money is with the guy who wins. The smart money is with the experience. There’s no one in the APW that has more experience at a higher level than I do. This is my sport and this is my ring. I don’t give a shit if Buckson Gooch and Mac Bane think they’re finally going to find some success in the ring and that they pray and get some sort of divine intervention. I’m not going to look like a fool in that ring wrestling two mongoloids.”
“I’ll take care of myself, do everything that I can do to win, and if I have an actual tag partner, then perfect, he can distract them for a little while before I finish the job. If not, fine, I’ll try a little harder. I’m just sick of being taken advantage of, I’m sick of being treated like a peon and I’m sick of doing whatever I’m told. I think it’s time we see a new Mark Mania around these parts. The type of Mark Mania that commands respect from all and the type of Mark Mania that doesn’t put up with anybody’s shit. I’m the Overdrive Champion god damn it. I’m going to show everyone tomorrow night that I’m not putting up with this shit anymore.”
I raise my sign back up and start chanting again.
“What’s ugly, deformed, and smells terrible?!”
“Poop.” Rosa says after I coax her.
“No! Buckson Gooch!”
