Post by Evan De Parker on Jan 16, 2013 19:17:30 GMT -4
"Teamwork is the ability to work as a group toward a common vision, even if that vision becomes extremely blurry..."
”I hate Lester.”
We blink into color and Jenny Knite frowns across the coffee table in their London, England hotel room. Evan is sitting in front of her, clad in dark, silk pajamas. They are nearly obnoxious in their very appearance, and one of the two occupants of the room look severely out of place, with Evan in his “obnoxious” pajamas and Jenny Knite in her black skirt, dark leggings, and red sweater, which is soon abandoned to reveal a black shirt, advertising #Nightmarefuel, sending a cringe down Evan’s spine.
”How’d you get that shirt anyway... Is that mine?”
”Focus, Evan. We need you at one hundred percent for this tag team match this week and I think all of this nonsense with John Dionysus is making you lose sight of your priorit--!”
”No, Jenny. I know what the objective is for this week. Go in. Kill shit. Get out.
“I’m not shaking Lester’s hand.... I’m not smiling in his direction... And I’ll be damned if I let him get the pin. But you don’t need to worry about me being at a hundred percent.”
Evan spares a glance toward the balcony, making a conscious decision to make his way to the outside. He pushes himself to his feet and turns to Jenny, gesturing for her to get up.
”Let’s go outside. I wanna tell you something ab--”
Jenny’s eyes grow wide with excitement.
”Oh, Evan!”
”--About my match. Something about my match.”
”...Oh! Oh-- yeah. I--”
”Jesus Christ.”
***
We switch scenes and abruptly find ourselves situated on the balcony of Evan Envi’s hotel suite. It overlooks a vast majority of the city-- or if you asked Evan Envi, the lack thereof-- of Birmingham.
Evan watches with mild amusement as Jenny Knite reaches into the breast of her top, retrieving a pack of Marlboro Lights. Behind the smirk painted on his face, Evan is disgusted. He judges her from the time she places the cigarette between her fingers, to the moment she puts it between her lips, to the moment her eyes lock with his... To the moment that her thumb travels down the wheel of the lighter, threatening to strike the flame--
Jenny lowers the lighter and the cigarette and sighs at Evan.
”What?!”
Evan gazes straight ahead at her and shakes his head idly.
”Those are bad for you.”
”Yeah. Thanks, mom. I know.”
She places the cigarette between her lips again, but her eyes dart back up to Evan as Evan loudly clears his throat.
”Ya know... You’re only-- you’re only as strong as the weakest link on your team. Right?”
Jenny rolls her eyes and lowers the cigarette once more.
”Let me guess. I’m your agent, we’re a team, and I’m the weak link.”
”I didn’t say that.”
”You didn’t have to say that.”
Evan raises his hands up, defensively, and gestures for Jenny to strike the flame. Jenny shrugs and puts the cigarette between her lips, raising the lighter up to mouth-level.
”Ya know...”
Jenny groans and lowers the lighter and cigarette.
”I have several mixed feelings about my match this week. This tag team situation is something I’ve never really been too good at, if my history says anything. Before Envikado happened, I was content with being like... A lone wolf. I mean-- yeah, it sucks, not knowing whether someone has your back or not, but it’s comforting knowing that you only have to rely on yourself. Know what I mean?”
”I’m panicking. Is this your polite way of firing me?”
”As entertaining as that could be, no.”
Evan casts a glance over the balcony, looking down at the dozen or so people that push their way to the not-so-crowded sidewalks of 10:00 PM London.
”Do you really think that Lester and I are gonna be able to coexist on Thursday night in Birmingham?”
”...Why wouldn’t you? He said it himself last week-- he’s a fan of your work.”
”Hmhmhmhm!”
Evan laughs through tight lips and shakes his head at Jenny again.
”I don’t believe it. I don’t know what Level One and Terry are trying to pull, but you can’t look me in the eye and legitimately tell me that Lester is impressed with anything other than Lester. He’s not.
“If there’s one thing I’ve EVER learned about Level One, it’s that nobody is allowed to come before him. Nobody gets past Level One. Nobody goes over Level One.
“I don’t like him. I don’t respect him. I don’t appreciate him.
“Legit.
“I couldn’t care less what happens to Lester once that second bell rings on Thursday night... I just wanna win. The LAST thing I EVER wanted was to be forced to partner up with the biggest ego this side of Drake Mosa, where I’m expected to be pushed into the background and ‘hold my own’ while I wait for Big Daddy Only to pick up the win and prove whatever point he needs to make to himself by putting down Shadow or Biggs.
“I’m sick of second-place.”
Evan seems to catch himself, physically, as he leans closer and closer to Jenny, speaking just above a hoarse whisper. His face has contorted into an inexplicable look of contempt, but he corrects it within a second.
”...So let me tell you what I’m gonna do.”
Jenny watches Evan with wide, curious eyes while he gazes back over the balcony again, smiling bitterly as he watches the people drifting over the pavement.
”I’m going to play this tag team game by the rules. When Level One needs a break, I’ll stretch my hand over that top rope and I’ll gladly accept the tag... Likewise, in the unlikely event that I find myself overwhelmed, then I’ll tag in Lester.
“I refuse to bicker and argue with my tag team partner until that job is done.
“...But so help me God, if I feel for a moment that Lester is keeping me out of this match for another skinny-dip in the limelight, then I will personally march into that ring, slam his head into the canvas and drag his sorry carcass back into our corner so I can save the day.”
Jenny cracks a smile.
”Some team unity.”
”I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
”...But in reality, you kinda want it to happen.”
”Eh. Rowdy teammates keep things interesting. WELP, I’mma need you to hold this camera. It’s verbal violation time.”
”Wha-- is that why you wanted me out here?”
”Yes! Hold it.”
Jenny glares at Evan for a moment before she places the neglected cigarette and unused lighter down on the balcony’s glass table. She turns to us, taking the camera off of the tripod and swings it back around to Evan. Envi grins at Jenny over the lens and shoots her a wink.
”You’re a doll.”
”Yeah, yeah.”
Evan angles his head as he peers into the camera. For several seconds, we don’t get much of a reaction or any “verbal violation” from the self-proclaimed MegaMegaStar, but he abruptly speaks up after what seems like ages.
”Biggs. Shadow. You’re gonna lose this week.
“Now-- I know that’s a bold claim, but hear me out, okay?
“Biggs... Shadow doesn’t wanna be your partner. We hear it every single time he’s booked for a tag team match. He complains and whines like a woman, and wonders WHY he’s being forced to compete-- and I have to wonder too. Why continue to subject hard-working Megastars to that kind of inconsiderate, negligent, selfish behavior?
“Two weeks ago it was Delikado and I, and you saw what happened there, didn’t you? He’s crazy, Biggs. Shadow tried to attack his own teammates, the idiot. THE RULES OF A TAG TEAM MATCH AREN’T THAT COMPLEX, GOOD... God.”
Evan facepalms, simply thinking back to the situation. He rubs his eyes, tiredly, and continues.
”But he doesn’t get it. Every time Shadow loses a match, or anytime someone says a rude word about him, he goes on this crusade and he convinces himself that he has the right to have some sort of vendetta against them. I was chosen to face-- and defeat-- him in an impromptu match for the Xtreme Title FIVE MONTHS AGO and he STILL hasn’t gotten over it. He STILL wants a piece of Evan Envi, and you know what-- that’s all fine and dandy. I welcome it. Hey-- I encourage it.
“But what that means for you, Biggs, is that Shadow is coming out to the ring on Thursday night with a personal agenda and I highly doubt your name is penciled in anywhere on there.
“Every single night in Action Packed Wrestling is Shadow versus the World, and I think that’s the way he prefers it. Shadow likes being the underdog because it means he doesn’t have to live up to anything. He has nobody to disappoint because nobody expects too much from him...
“...Kind of like what you said to me last week, right, Biggs?”
Evan falls silent and stares into the camera with an artificial half-smile for a few moment, but there is no kindness behind his eyes. That malintent-- that contempt is still there, thicker than ever, dancing beyond his pupils.
”And, predictably, this would be the point where I would point out Shadow’s most prominent failure... Ass Kickers Anonymous. But I won’t.
“I won’t talk about how Shadow failed to match the success of Slade Craven.
“I won’t talk about how Shadow has been repeatedly outsmarted and outclassed by Slade Craven.
“I won’t talk about how most impressive thing Shadow has ever done is live up to his name... And become Slade Craven’s shadow.
“I won’t. And I refuse to. That’s mean.
“AHEM... But I will talk about how I beat you like you owed me somethin’ last week, Biggsy, I mean COME ON, how awesome was that finish? Haha, like, you didn’t even see it coming. All that confidence... All that trash-talk... And BAM, lights out, and there wasn’t a single thing you or anybody else in the arena could do about it.
“This week, there is someone that could do something about it. Unfortunately, for the aforementioned reasons, I don’t think it’s going to make much of a difference.
“And let me get something straight with you: I understand how talented you are, and I believe the hype. You took me to my limit last week and gave me the wrestling match that we SHOULD have had back in September, and I’m honored to say that I defeated another future Hall of Famer. I mean-- if you want me to stretch a bit, I could go on about how much Shadow’s improved since his last run here on Overdrive.
“I could go on and on about the spectacular matches Shadow’s had with people like Michael Lively and Kurt Noble. I could go on and on about how Shadow is one of the hardest-working men in this sport today, and that he’s never been handed ANYTHING... And again-- if you want me to stretch-- I could tell you that I respect how consistent he is, and that he deserves a spot in the Hall of Fame.
“But in order for me to do that, I’d have to acknowledge the fact that Shadow always is and always WILL be inferior to me, and I will never allow myself to slip into second-place... And Biggs, I don’t think you should allow it either. Don’t let this become the Shadow Show.
“I know that everybody wants to see Biggs versus Lester in that ring on Thursday night, and I’m probably widely regarded as an afterthought, just like Shadow. And yo-- I have no problem letting you and Level One fight it out. Do what you’ve gotta do... But don’t ever, ever forget about me. It’ll kill you.”
Evan looks away, a thoughtful look crossing his face before he turns his attention back to the lens.
”Beating you once was an accomplishment, but beating you twice? Well, let’s call that an aspiration.
“Nothing would make me happier than pinning your shoulders to that mat again this week, Biggsy-- or better yet, making you tap out.
“I meant everything I said about your prolonged existence in this company last week. I meant it when I said that you were taking the spotlight and opportunity from people that were working harder than you to find relevance in this business, and unlike a lot of guys in the back, I went out there and I did something about it. But that’s not enough.
“I have to do it again.
“And again.
“And again. Until everybody gets the point. Once I’ve proven to everybody that you’re NOT a better wrestler than me, maybe the A.C. Smiths, Slade Cravens, and Stefan Raabs of professional wrestling will get the opportunities that they deserve; the opportunities that you’ve taken away, the glory that you hold onto and hug real close to yourself.
“The business is tearing you apart, Biggs. It’s already cut you deep, multiple times. You’ve spilled more blood in this company than anybody that I know.
“But... You know how to stop the bleeding, don’t you?”
Evan winks.
”Apply pressure.
“Level One... He’s not the pressure. Lester is more than capable of beating you, and I’m not worried about his role in this match... And honestly, you aren’t either, are you?
“You know nobody would be shocked to see Level One topple Biggs once again. You don’t have to beat him. Biggs, you don’t HAVE to defeat Lester.
“No pressure there.”
Evan grins and jerks a thumb toward himself.
”It’s me. It’s me you have to beat. And your tag team partner is a man that cares less about your career than-- than Ellie does.
“I’m the gauze that’s gonna keep you from bleeding out. So thank me. THANK me for giving you something MORE to strive for. For one of the first times in my career, I’m entering this match with the deck stacked in my favor. For once, I don’t have any mountainous odds to overcome. It’s you that has to overcome.
“It’s you that has to claw and fight and deal with a historically unreliable tag team partner.”
Evan’s features soften and he relaxes in the chair just a bit, giving the camera an odd, distant wave.
”And it’s you that has to face ninety-nine other competitors on January 27th knowing that ALL OF THEM are after your throat, because they saw me put you down.
“They know you’re valuable.
“And now they know you’re breakable.
”...No pressure.”
We catch a very brief, millisecond-long glimpse of Evan Envi’s trademark smile.
Darkness.
...Finally, we hear the click of the lighter’s wheel, and a flicker of red as Jenny Knite finally strikes her flame, guiding us into a chilling silence.
