Post by Level-Two on Jan 16, 2013 21:59:39 GMT -4
The following skit is presented by Sindicate Night Live!
'’Introducing first coming straight out of the retirement home - weighing in at 300 useless pounds! He is the former Overdrive Champion before he was sent down to Meltdown to battle it out with rookies! Ladies and gentlemen we present the LEFT butt cheek of the ass lickers anonymous… SHADOW!’’
We see Level-One at an announcers table by himself. He has two different head sets - green and yellow - one for each commentator.
‘’Well, here he is. As expected Shadow has made his appearance here on Sindicate packed wrestling where I’d imagine he’ll spend his time begging President One for a job.’’
Level-One quickly rips off the yellow Harvey Only head set and puts on the green, Only Chase headset.
‘’Hey, Harvey Only - weren’t YOU the one begging President One for a job when he took over? Ha! Fortunately for me, I remained in Level-One’s good book through thick and thin and was rewarded for my loyalty!’’
‘’Please don’t remind me. It’s bad enough I have to sit through a promo from this dork - can we just skip over this and cut to commercial?’’
Level-One Vs. Evan Envi
‘’Hello, I’m Level-One…’’
‘’And I’m Evan Envi.’’
‘’So, Evan Envi - what have you accomplished lately?’’
‘’Oh, you know… I beat Biggs in a singles match, again.’’
‘’Hm, I did that too.’’
‘’Cool. How do you feel about Shadow? Hey, isn’t he older than you? That would make him pretty outdated.’’
‘’Is that so? Well, you should know I’m highly compatible with the year 2013 and always remain relevant.’’
‘’So what are we going to do about this? You know, we can fight about this all day.’’
‘Or we can do something far more productive. I say the two of us put our differences aside, team up and kick the piss out of the both of them..’’
Buy a SindiMac.
Level-One is back at the commentators desk gasping for air - once again, back to his commentator shtick.
‘’Welcome back to Sindicate packed wrestling on Sindicate Live! During the commercial break Shadow was booed out of the building after being pelted with eggs, shoes and other foreign objects.’’
‘’He nearly choked on a dildo, Harvey Only.’’
‘’Ahem. I know President One has made this a more liberated show to say the least but I think you should show a little more tact with your language, Only Chase.’’
‘’Fuck off!’’
‘’Okay, well moving on now. Word has it President One is backstage where he has a HUGE announcement to make.’’
‘’This isn’t going to be like the time our old President Jeff announced that he signed Azreal Gorean only for him to be a big pathetic flop, right?’’
‘’… or the time he announced he got a new pair of socks for Christmas. The man was just clearly running out of exciting material!’’
‘’Good god. Let’s hear from our President live.’’
After several moments of dead air - Level-One appears on screen yet again. This time he’s wearing a suite and a partial face mask paying homage to a ‘’former’’ President.
‘’Hello ladies and gentlemen - I am President One. Tonight, I heard Shadow’s plea for a job and I decided to entertain his cries for attention. So tonight… Shadow will team up with Biggs and the two of them will go head to head with Level-One AND Evan Envi!’’
The crowd watching on the Sindicated Tron roar with approval.
‘’Shadow is a pathetic little man. However, we go way back and I have developed a soft spot in my heart for him. You see… Shadow represents everything his company used to be. He is the prime example of what the APW once stood for and what it had to offer the world of wrestling. It is the year 2020 and Shadow is the time machine we all roll out for our own amusement as we remember how much our lives lacked when it wasn’t under the Sindicate’s control.
However, I’d to address Shadow directly. Shadow if you don’t win this match tonight than you can consider yourself on the outs of the SPW! There are plenty of men, women and cross species life forms whom are salivating at the opportunity to compete on Sindicate live rather then tearing it up in SPW’S Meltdown division. This is your opportunity to show that you can hang with the big dogs in SPW.’’
I’ve heard the rumours. After all, the Sindicate has eyes and ears everywhere including Sally Talfourds locker room and behind Kaylyn J. Evan’s personal shower curtain. And word has it - you’re stuck in a rut. You’re having trouble finding your rhythm here in the SPW! And to that I say… of course you are! I believe you have truly past whatever prime you were in. It’s time to read the writings in your get well cards, Shadow. It’s time to move on with your life. It’s time to retire - forever this time. I wanted this match because I know there is no way you can win not even if Biggs pulls your weight for you.''
‘’All three hundred pounds of it, fatass.’’
Level-One walks off camera and can be seen immediately ripping off the face mask and loosening up his tie as he takes off down the hall.
He returns several moments later.
‘’That was quite the message sent by our President One, Only Chase!’’
‘’Well, if you thought that was great Level-One is making his way to the ring right now and he’s got a microphone in hand!’’
‘’Introducing the GREATEST Mega Star ever! He comes to you 100% Sindicate approved! He is joined by his two beautiful assistants Kia and Violet LeWinter! Presenting your beloved WRESTLING GOD and the MOST infamous man in the WORLD… LEVEL-ONE!!!’’
‘’ALL HAIL OUR GREAT LEADER!’’
‘’Oh, come on. That’s just going to far even by the sindicate’s code of conduct - which oddly enough doesn’t actually exist.’’
‘’Are you going to shut up and join me in the salute or what?’’
‘’Yes sir!’’
Level-One rolls his eyes and removes his head set. This job wasn’t as nearly as easy as he thought - there just wasn’t enough of him to go around.
The ‘’crowd’’ gives Level-One a standing ovation when he finally makes it to the center of the ring. He raises one hand in the air and snaps - at that very moment everything is dead silent allowing him to speak.
‘’Shadow is a man without standards. He is man without worth ethic. He is a man without any real sense of pride beyond the act he puts on for the entire world to see. If he had any of these values that he does indeed lack - then he wouldn’t be where he is today. He wouldn’t be wrestling alongside Biggs - his most notable rival to date. You see once upon a time Shadow used to win matches consistently. In fact, at one point time he was on a several match winning streak. His winning ways eventually led him to the Overdrive title where he earned his keep. However, this is as good as his career gets because Biggs ran in like a man waving a three inched dick and Shadow’s mangina was simply no match!
In other words - Biggs put Shadow’s career on hold. Shadow won a few battles along the way but in the end he lost the war. Even as he tried to revive his career under the joke that is the ass lickers anonymous - Biggs was right there leading two morons to championship gold embarrassing Shadow and his tag along even further. While I am not saying you’d accomplish anything without Biggs in the picture - because you wouldn’t - there is no doubt that he is in direct correlation with your stints of failure.
Oh, but don’t you worry Shadow because you’re going to get him back - aren’t you!? Me and Evan Envi? We aren’t nice people. We are vicious. We are cruel. We will use your weakness as our strength. And as far as this dream team that was sewn together last minute? You’re the weak link in that team and I am going to exploit you like a prom date diving face first into the punchbowl.
Thanks for playing your part, asshole.’’
‘’SIN DI KIT!’’
‘’SIN DI KIT!’’
‘’SIN DI KIT!’’
‘’As for Biggs - well each and everyone of you know how I feel about him. He has been the biggest thorn in my side since Crazyman whom I officially dismantled in an I quit match a decade ago. So, I found someone who is a believer in Biggs. A person who has given him a platform week in and week out to spout his bullshit propaganda all over television and thus is not a member of the Sindicate family.’’
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
‘’Cindy Shannon… it’s time to get something off our chests and it isn’t going to be your silicone balloons, you plastic whore!’’
PRESENTING OUR SPECIAL GUEST THIS EVENING PLAYING AS HERSELF… CINDY SHANNON!
Cindy Shannon emerges from the curtains and saunters down the ramp - being booed. A chant of ‘’whore’’ is blasted over the PA system and Cindy Shannon is forced to cover her ears as she enters the ring. With her ears still covered he leans over to her and shouts into the microphone.
'’WHORE, WHORE, WHORE!’’
He laughs as she puts her hands down - unable to block herself out from the pre recorded chants and escape the abuse.
‘’I thought you said you were here for an…’’
‘’Shut your mouth right now and don’t dare break the fourth wall!’’
He points to a sofa inside the ring to which Cindy Shannon quickly takes her seat - thus meeting the terrorists demands.
‘’Cindy Shannon welcome to One’s last contact! Last contact - seeing after we’re done with this tonight, the fans probably won’t be seeing the likes of you in one of my promos ever again! ‘’
‘’Why?’’
Level-One snarled.
‘’Listen lady, I ask the questions around here! Today’s topic is Biggs and how Biggs is the biggest SELLOUT the world has ever seen! I know Biggs better than anyone and he isn’t an upstanding man - rather a deadbeat lowlife who’s only success has come by the way of manipulation. Sure, I’m not a good guy either but at least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not! That’s the difference between me and Biggs. I’m real and he’s not.’’
‘’We’re talking about a man who’s never been loyal to a single cause not even once his life! Why doesn’t Shadow ask Chris Cyrus what trust means to Biggs? Why doesn’t he ask Ellie about loyalty? In fact, if you can find me one person Biggs hasn’t screwed over at least once - I’ll retire on the spot! Isn’t it pathetic that everyone and anyone Biggs has found himself tagging up with whether it be CJ Gates or Shadow - he’s burnt in the past? Isn’t it just HILARIOUS that the Sindicate could bash his fucking skull in and not a single person in the back would risk their OWN well being to actually help him? Biggs has no friends. Biggs has no one in his corner. Biggs…
Even Cindy Shannon can’t stand you.’’
He turns to Cindy Shannon and takes a seat on the sofa beside her. She’s uncomfortable but he wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in close.
‘’Isn’t that right Cindy?’’
‘’Um… I’’
He won’t let her finish.
‘’Cindy, you allow a man like Biggs to run his mouth - slander mine and Terry’s good name without challenge. You don’t keep him honest. You don’t remind him that he’s being unprofessional rather you nod your head and you aid him in his crimes. Dare I say it, you even fear the Sindicate! Though if any one has been shown to abuse power and act inspired by his own tyranny, it’s Biggs. Oh, short memory we have we?’’
‘’Remember what he did to you?’’
‘’Remember in between flirting with Sally Talfourd when he basically demanded that you disrobe and wear a bikini while wrestling his bottom bitch Ellie? Remember when he threatened that if you didn’t do so - you’d be out of a job? Yeah, that’s Biggs. That’s the REAL biggs. He’s also the man the world is meant to cheer on and support - when in reality, he’s nothing more than a chauvinistic pig a women with any self respect would despise.’’
He shakes his head at the camera which zooms in on him.
‘’Biggs stint as general manager of this company brought the darkest days professional wrestling has ever seen and I will NOT allow his regime to regain power once again. We know the monster - the control freak - the schizophrenic mad man all to well the second he get’s his hand on the levers of power and it’s my job - no, it’s my purpose in life to protect us all from tyrants like him!’’
'‘…even you Cindy Shannon.’’
‘’So if you want to know why I entertained Biggs request for a match at Rasslemania - now you know why. I’m sick of this petty child counting every single encounter between the two of us - as if it makes him superior, never mind equals. I’m sick of hearing him bolstering his resume every time he pins an odd man out in a triple threat match or sneaks a victory over a tag partner of mine as if it meant something. Hell, I’m sick of hearing about how he fought Terry Marvin to a draw - as if a draw isn’t something you shouldn’t beat yourself up over and should be proud of!
At Rasslemania - the biggest stage of them all - in my hometown, I will end the farce that this man is anywhere near my level once and for all. A victory on that night will stand on it’s own - superior to any victory no matter how minor he still tries to hold over my head. From the night forward any ill word he has to speak about me will fall on deaf ears and his rants no matter how long or how bold will hold no more weight - than that of a Meltdown hopeful screaming to the tops of the mountain - hoping that Terry Marvin hears their cries and justifies it with anything that would resemble a response in the slightest.
Until then however - enjoy Biggs grand delusions while you still can. Break out the red rider and down a shot every time he repeats himself or makes a promise he does not have it in himself to keep. I want you to sit down - tape your eye lids open - and listen to every word he says closely and hold onto it no matter how forgettable those words maybe - write them down if you have to. Document them. Save them. Create your own library because mark my words - I will feed him by hand and make him swallow each and everyone of them - syllable by syllable.
Biggs - I’m going to send you on the retirement tour you always wanted. A big double Decker bus just big enough to fit both you and your ego. Though, it’s a shame your rock… your girl… the beholder of your long kept virginity isn’t going to be with you on your road to Rasslemania, isn’t it?
She’s out sucking dick for a bus ticket. The final destination may be Toronto but I hope you enjoy your ride through hell, whore.
'’Introducing first coming straight out of the retirement home - weighing in at 300 useless pounds! He is the former Overdrive Champion before he was sent down to Meltdown to battle it out with rookies! Ladies and gentlemen we present the LEFT butt cheek of the ass lickers anonymous… SHADOW!’’
We see Level-One at an announcers table by himself. He has two different head sets - green and yellow - one for each commentator.
‘’Well, here he is. As expected Shadow has made his appearance here on Sindicate packed wrestling where I’d imagine he’ll spend his time begging President One for a job.’’
Level-One quickly rips off the yellow Harvey Only head set and puts on the green, Only Chase headset.
‘’Hey, Harvey Only - weren’t YOU the one begging President One for a job when he took over? Ha! Fortunately for me, I remained in Level-One’s good book through thick and thin and was rewarded for my loyalty!’’
‘’Please don’t remind me. It’s bad enough I have to sit through a promo from this dork - can we just skip over this and cut to commercial?’’
Level-One Vs. Evan Envi
‘’Hello, I’m Level-One…’’
‘’And I’m Evan Envi.’’
‘’So, Evan Envi - what have you accomplished lately?’’
‘’Oh, you know… I beat Biggs in a singles match, again.’’
‘’Hm, I did that too.’’
‘’Cool. How do you feel about Shadow? Hey, isn’t he older than you? That would make him pretty outdated.’’
‘’Is that so? Well, you should know I’m highly compatible with the year 2013 and always remain relevant.’’
‘’So what are we going to do about this? You know, we can fight about this all day.’’
‘Or we can do something far more productive. I say the two of us put our differences aside, team up and kick the piss out of the both of them..’’
Buy a SindiMac.
Level-One is back at the commentators desk gasping for air - once again, back to his commentator shtick.
‘’Welcome back to Sindicate packed wrestling on Sindicate Live! During the commercial break Shadow was booed out of the building after being pelted with eggs, shoes and other foreign objects.’’
‘’He nearly choked on a dildo, Harvey Only.’’
‘’Ahem. I know President One has made this a more liberated show to say the least but I think you should show a little more tact with your language, Only Chase.’’
‘’Fuck off!’’
‘’Okay, well moving on now. Word has it President One is backstage where he has a HUGE announcement to make.’’
‘’This isn’t going to be like the time our old President Jeff announced that he signed Azreal Gorean only for him to be a big pathetic flop, right?’’
‘’… or the time he announced he got a new pair of socks for Christmas. The man was just clearly running out of exciting material!’’
‘’Good god. Let’s hear from our President live.’’
After several moments of dead air - Level-One appears on screen yet again. This time he’s wearing a suite and a partial face mask paying homage to a ‘’former’’ President.
‘’Hello ladies and gentlemen - I am President One. Tonight, I heard Shadow’s plea for a job and I decided to entertain his cries for attention. So tonight… Shadow will team up with Biggs and the two of them will go head to head with Level-One AND Evan Envi!’’
The crowd watching on the Sindicated Tron roar with approval.
‘’Shadow is a pathetic little man. However, we go way back and I have developed a soft spot in my heart for him. You see… Shadow represents everything his company used to be. He is the prime example of what the APW once stood for and what it had to offer the world of wrestling. It is the year 2020 and Shadow is the time machine we all roll out for our own amusement as we remember how much our lives lacked when it wasn’t under the Sindicate’s control.
However, I’d to address Shadow directly. Shadow if you don’t win this match tonight than you can consider yourself on the outs of the SPW! There are plenty of men, women and cross species life forms whom are salivating at the opportunity to compete on Sindicate live rather then tearing it up in SPW’S Meltdown division. This is your opportunity to show that you can hang with the big dogs in SPW.’’
I’ve heard the rumours. After all, the Sindicate has eyes and ears everywhere including Sally Talfourds locker room and behind Kaylyn J. Evan’s personal shower curtain. And word has it - you’re stuck in a rut. You’re having trouble finding your rhythm here in the SPW! And to that I say… of course you are! I believe you have truly past whatever prime you were in. It’s time to read the writings in your get well cards, Shadow. It’s time to move on with your life. It’s time to retire - forever this time. I wanted this match because I know there is no way you can win not even if Biggs pulls your weight for you.''
‘’All three hundred pounds of it, fatass.’’
Level-One walks off camera and can be seen immediately ripping off the face mask and loosening up his tie as he takes off down the hall.
He returns several moments later.
‘’That was quite the message sent by our President One, Only Chase!’’
‘’Well, if you thought that was great Level-One is making his way to the ring right now and he’s got a microphone in hand!’’
‘’Introducing the GREATEST Mega Star ever! He comes to you 100% Sindicate approved! He is joined by his two beautiful assistants Kia and Violet LeWinter! Presenting your beloved WRESTLING GOD and the MOST infamous man in the WORLD… LEVEL-ONE!!!’’
‘’ALL HAIL OUR GREAT LEADER!’’
‘’Oh, come on. That’s just going to far even by the sindicate’s code of conduct - which oddly enough doesn’t actually exist.’’
‘’Are you going to shut up and join me in the salute or what?’’
‘’Yes sir!’’
Level-One rolls his eyes and removes his head set. This job wasn’t as nearly as easy as he thought - there just wasn’t enough of him to go around.
The ‘’crowd’’ gives Level-One a standing ovation when he finally makes it to the center of the ring. He raises one hand in the air and snaps - at that very moment everything is dead silent allowing him to speak.
‘’Shadow is a man without standards. He is man without worth ethic. He is a man without any real sense of pride beyond the act he puts on for the entire world to see. If he had any of these values that he does indeed lack - then he wouldn’t be where he is today. He wouldn’t be wrestling alongside Biggs - his most notable rival to date. You see once upon a time Shadow used to win matches consistently. In fact, at one point time he was on a several match winning streak. His winning ways eventually led him to the Overdrive title where he earned his keep. However, this is as good as his career gets because Biggs ran in like a man waving a three inched dick and Shadow’s mangina was simply no match!
In other words - Biggs put Shadow’s career on hold. Shadow won a few battles along the way but in the end he lost the war. Even as he tried to revive his career under the joke that is the ass lickers anonymous - Biggs was right there leading two morons to championship gold embarrassing Shadow and his tag along even further. While I am not saying you’d accomplish anything without Biggs in the picture - because you wouldn’t - there is no doubt that he is in direct correlation with your stints of failure.
Oh, but don’t you worry Shadow because you’re going to get him back - aren’t you!? Me and Evan Envi? We aren’t nice people. We are vicious. We are cruel. We will use your weakness as our strength. And as far as this dream team that was sewn together last minute? You’re the weak link in that team and I am going to exploit you like a prom date diving face first into the punchbowl.
Thanks for playing your part, asshole.’’
‘’SIN DI KIT!’’
‘’SIN DI KIT!’’
‘’SIN DI KIT!’’
‘’As for Biggs - well each and everyone of you know how I feel about him. He has been the biggest thorn in my side since Crazyman whom I officially dismantled in an I quit match a decade ago. So, I found someone who is a believer in Biggs. A person who has given him a platform week in and week out to spout his bullshit propaganda all over television and thus is not a member of the Sindicate family.’’
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
‘’Cindy Shannon… it’s time to get something off our chests and it isn’t going to be your silicone balloons, you plastic whore!’’
PRESENTING OUR SPECIAL GUEST THIS EVENING PLAYING AS HERSELF… CINDY SHANNON!
Cindy Shannon emerges from the curtains and saunters down the ramp - being booed. A chant of ‘’whore’’ is blasted over the PA system and Cindy Shannon is forced to cover her ears as she enters the ring. With her ears still covered he leans over to her and shouts into the microphone.
'’WHORE, WHORE, WHORE!’’
He laughs as she puts her hands down - unable to block herself out from the pre recorded chants and escape the abuse.
‘’I thought you said you were here for an…’’
‘’Shut your mouth right now and don’t dare break the fourth wall!’’
He points to a sofa inside the ring to which Cindy Shannon quickly takes her seat - thus meeting the terrorists demands.
‘’Cindy Shannon welcome to One’s last contact! Last contact - seeing after we’re done with this tonight, the fans probably won’t be seeing the likes of you in one of my promos ever again! ‘’
‘’Why?’’
Level-One snarled.
‘’Listen lady, I ask the questions around here! Today’s topic is Biggs and how Biggs is the biggest SELLOUT the world has ever seen! I know Biggs better than anyone and he isn’t an upstanding man - rather a deadbeat lowlife who’s only success has come by the way of manipulation. Sure, I’m not a good guy either but at least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not! That’s the difference between me and Biggs. I’m real and he’s not.’’
‘’We’re talking about a man who’s never been loyal to a single cause not even once his life! Why doesn’t Shadow ask Chris Cyrus what trust means to Biggs? Why doesn’t he ask Ellie about loyalty? In fact, if you can find me one person Biggs hasn’t screwed over at least once - I’ll retire on the spot! Isn’t it pathetic that everyone and anyone Biggs has found himself tagging up with whether it be CJ Gates or Shadow - he’s burnt in the past? Isn’t it just HILARIOUS that the Sindicate could bash his fucking skull in and not a single person in the back would risk their OWN well being to actually help him? Biggs has no friends. Biggs has no one in his corner. Biggs…
Even Cindy Shannon can’t stand you.’’
He turns to Cindy Shannon and takes a seat on the sofa beside her. She’s uncomfortable but he wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in close.
‘’Isn’t that right Cindy?’’
‘’Um… I’’
He won’t let her finish.
‘’Cindy, you allow a man like Biggs to run his mouth - slander mine and Terry’s good name without challenge. You don’t keep him honest. You don’t remind him that he’s being unprofessional rather you nod your head and you aid him in his crimes. Dare I say it, you even fear the Sindicate! Though if any one has been shown to abuse power and act inspired by his own tyranny, it’s Biggs. Oh, short memory we have we?’’
‘’Remember what he did to you?’’
‘’Remember in between flirting with Sally Talfourd when he basically demanded that you disrobe and wear a bikini while wrestling his bottom bitch Ellie? Remember when he threatened that if you didn’t do so - you’d be out of a job? Yeah, that’s Biggs. That’s the REAL biggs. He’s also the man the world is meant to cheer on and support - when in reality, he’s nothing more than a chauvinistic pig a women with any self respect would despise.’’
He shakes his head at the camera which zooms in on him.
‘’Biggs stint as general manager of this company brought the darkest days professional wrestling has ever seen and I will NOT allow his regime to regain power once again. We know the monster - the control freak - the schizophrenic mad man all to well the second he get’s his hand on the levers of power and it’s my job - no, it’s my purpose in life to protect us all from tyrants like him!’’
'‘…even you Cindy Shannon.’’
‘’So if you want to know why I entertained Biggs request for a match at Rasslemania - now you know why. I’m sick of this petty child counting every single encounter between the two of us - as if it makes him superior, never mind equals. I’m sick of hearing him bolstering his resume every time he pins an odd man out in a triple threat match or sneaks a victory over a tag partner of mine as if it meant something. Hell, I’m sick of hearing about how he fought Terry Marvin to a draw - as if a draw isn’t something you shouldn’t beat yourself up over and should be proud of!
At Rasslemania - the biggest stage of them all - in my hometown, I will end the farce that this man is anywhere near my level once and for all. A victory on that night will stand on it’s own - superior to any victory no matter how minor he still tries to hold over my head. From the night forward any ill word he has to speak about me will fall on deaf ears and his rants no matter how long or how bold will hold no more weight - than that of a Meltdown hopeful screaming to the tops of the mountain - hoping that Terry Marvin hears their cries and justifies it with anything that would resemble a response in the slightest.
Until then however - enjoy Biggs grand delusions while you still can. Break out the red rider and down a shot every time he repeats himself or makes a promise he does not have it in himself to keep. I want you to sit down - tape your eye lids open - and listen to every word he says closely and hold onto it no matter how forgettable those words maybe - write them down if you have to. Document them. Save them. Create your own library because mark my words - I will feed him by hand and make him swallow each and everyone of them - syllable by syllable.
Biggs - I’m going to send you on the retirement tour you always wanted. A big double Decker bus just big enough to fit both you and your ego. Though, it’s a shame your rock… your girl… the beholder of your long kept virginity isn’t going to be with you on your road to Rasslemania, isn’t it?
She’s out sucking dick for a bus ticket. The final destination may be Toronto but I hope you enjoy your ride through hell, whore.
