Post by Reaver on Jan 18, 2013 17:16:51 GMT -4
In recent months, Johnny Knuckles has been struggling to find his own reality. The lawsuit he's been dealing with has continuously drained him financially while the rabid crowds repeatedly taunt him to the point of mental breakdown. All of that seemed to make him snap on the last Asylum show when William D. Williams decided to push the wrong buttons. By getting himself disqualified, Knuckles showed ferocity in the face of “The Smooth One”; the likes of which he wasn't accustomed to. Knowing he has a title shot while Knuckles is in the main event, he decided to help “train” Williams to face TJ at the ppv. The man whom Knuckles THOUGHT was his friend until he proved the real reason he became a pillar......because he was a total douche.
It shocked Knuckles how his friend TJ could fall into such disdain along with the rest of APW. It's reasons like this that have attributed to the mental anguish and the only satisfaction Knuckles could have, would be to piss TJ off by helping his enemy, take away what took him so long to achieve.
The scene opens up on a junkyard outside of Blackpool, UK. Knuckles figures that there would be no better place to find an array of odd weapons than a junkyard. He is accompanied by Mike, his camera guy, who has been skeptical of Knuckles as of late. Not so much of his identity, but more so of the lack of sanity he may or may not have left.
They walk inside this junkyard called, “Williams and Son Salvage” where they are greeted by some black guy who seems to be mumbling to himself. I guess he hasn't had much company or business and a guy like Knuckles to show up, makes him wish he was closed.
Mike: So what do you hope to accomplish coming here?
Knuckles: You serious? I have a no DQ match against a “wrestler” who thinks they have me beat. He wants to step into MY world and compete? He wants to be TJ? Then he will need to be pushed harder than he's ever been pushed before.
Mike: What's this sudden hatred for TJ? Weren't you guys on good terms?
Knuckles: That's what I thought until the last Asylum. He turned into every other front running Yankee hating fan. I guess that's typical of being a “Pillar”, the requirement is to become an overpaid douche-nozzle with some undeserved sense of accomplishment. So by helping Williams get tough, he might have a chance to take away the new piece of leather TJ took all of last year to get.
Black man: How's it goin' ya' big dummy! What you want?
Knuckles: We wanted to look around for some scrap pieces and see if anything could be of value.
Black man: Fine but make it quick or I'll give you a knuckle-sandwich.
Mike: Wow, this seems oddly racist.....
Knuckles: Suck it Mike.
Knuckles runs off into the distance like a child at a playground. Mike, being left to speak with the owner of this junkyard, feels slightly awkward. Not much of an upgrade having to deal with a cranky old man compared to dealing with a mentally disturbed and borderline homeless wrestler. To each their own right? Knuckles comes running out of the back with a doll and a smile on his face.
Mike: You can't be serious....
Knuckles: It's perfect!
Mike: It's an old Betsey Wetsey doll.
Knuckles: NO! It's a special doll of friendship........
Knuckles squeezes the doll but nothing happens. He squeezes it again and again nothing. He shakes her a little and squeezes her a third time but instead of her wetting herself, a burst of flames shoot out of her ass like a flamethrower shocking the shit out of Mike and almost setting the owner on fire.
Black man: WHAT THE HELL YA' BIG DUMMY!?
Mike: What is that doing here?
Knuckles: Who cares, I want it!
Mike: was this all?
Knuckles: Fuck no. I just wanted to show you what I got so far.
Knuckles walks off as the Black man goes to get a cup of something from his office. He comes back and offers Mike a sip.
Mike: Is this coffee?
Black man: No, actually this is a new energy drink my son just came up with. I thought I would offer you something so you guys can hurry up and get off my property.
Mike: Well, um, thanks?
Mike takes a sip as Knuckles laughs in the back round. He shakes his head in satisfaction before spitting it back up.
Mike: OH MY GOD! What was in that?
Black man: Shit....
Mike: WHAT!?
Black man: My son calls it “Chocolate Waste”. *ding .25 cents* Basically its just a coffee pot he converted out of a toilet. I don't much like the smell but who doesn't love brown goodness? The smell is bad but you can't go wrong with the chunks of corn in it.
Mike runs off camera and spews chunks at the thought of drinking a cup of diarrhea.
Knuckles: CHOCOLATE WASTE!! HA!! *ding .25 cents*.....huh what the hell?
Black man: What's wrong dummy?
Knuckles: Does anybody else here the DING sound after anybody says Chocolate Waste? *ding .25 cents*
Black man: No.....
Knuckles: SEE! There is it again. Why are you selling this crap anyways?
Black man: I'm not, my son is.
Mike finishes his vomit session and rejoins the group. Unfortunately for him, he stomach started rumbling and he felt a sharp pain. I guess a cup of diarrhea gave him the shits. He holds his stomach and manages to tough it out.
Knuckles: How do you guys expect to make any money selling this?
Mike: Yea seriously.
Black man: That will be 30 pounds for that cup of Chocolate Waste. *ding .25 cents*
Knuckles: THERE IT IS AGAIN!! Does nobody hear that?
Mike: 30 POUNDS!? For that swill? I didn't even want it, you offered it to me.
Black man: Well there's a soda machine over there. It's a little old but it only costs a nickle.
Mike walks over and gets himself a bottle of ginger ale in hopes of settling his stomach but it's an old fashioned bottle that needs an opener.
Mike: You have a bottle opener?
Black man: SURE! It'll cost you 30 pounds.
Knuckles: HA!!
Mike: Well played sir, well played. You all set with w “toys” Knuckles?
Knuckles: Ya', I found a new taser since I gave my old one to Kurt Noble for the Experts tournament. Here, see?
Knuckles pulls it out and shocks the fuck out of Mike who drops the soda, falls to the ground and shits himself.
Black man: Fine, so will that be all? So we can get you Dummy's out of here?
Knuckles: Ya', what do we owe you?
Black man: 300........and 30 pounds.
Knuckles: FOR A DOLL AND TASER!?
Mike:.......you're not letting that go are you?
Black man: No.
The man holds his hand out for payment as Knuckles looks over at Mike and gives him a princess puppy dog-like look. (the puss and boots) He pouts his bottom lip at him as Mike just stares back him him, still laying on the ground.
Mike: Really?
Knuckles: What? You know I'm broke.....
Mike: Damn Chocolate Waste......*ding .25 cents*
Knuckles: THERE IT IS AGAIN!! Cmon', you can't tell me you didn't hear that?
Mike: Let's just go before my ass chaffs.
Mike and Knuckles start walking away, slightly bo-legged since Mike just crapped himself, as the scene fades.
Knuckles: An energy drink? Really Williams? I should sue you for likeness rights. You should try and drink whiskey or Donkey Punch like a real man instead of like the walking vagina you turned out to be. You think you know me? You think you understand how I think or how I live or how I feel? You will never know. You will never understand what it's really like to struggle for every single breath.
Watching you wrestle is like watching a fat chick; pole dancing. How do you live with yourself? I'm supposed to watch this bullshit? If I were you, I would be grateful that this isn't inside a cage. But since I'm such “nice guy”, I'm going to do you a favor. TJ, the current Tap Out Champion gave you a title shot that you totally don't deserve but consider it a consolation prize for being a shriveled up twat for not joining Survive and Conquer. You think you're “Smooth?” “Slick?” Way to show pride in the company that gave you a job you arrogant prick.
I'm doing you a favor by beating the living shit out you this week. Welcome to reality WD40. You can't come to Asylum and expect NOT to be in a real fight. Consider this the real test before your title match. Consider this the real on-the-job training. If you walk out of Survive and Conquer as the new Tap Out Champion, it will because I put you on the right level. It will be because I MADE you to be a champion. Not bad for a joke who can't become a champion himself right?
TJ really pissed me off last Asylum. And as much as I want to wipe the chocolate off of that shitty face of yours, it's worth it to me to make you bleed from one end of the ring to the next in order to prepare you for the war at the PPV.
That is why I choked you Billy D. I wanted you to get a taste for who I am and what I do. Winning and losing have no baring on me. What I love is the rush of adrenaline I get from hurting people just like you. It's nothing personal, it's just business although I do get a gleam of joy in doing it. You didn't need to get my attention, because you didn't deserve it. You should probably worry less about my situation and my match at the PPV and worry more about how many blood transfusions you'll need after I'm done.
Will you make it to TJ? Who knows? My job is to simple make sure you have the knowledge, whether you get there physically is none of my damn business. At least you'll have a chance though, and it'll be because of me. There ARE however, a few things I'd like to clear up. First and foremost, I am far from being a legend. I'll accept it as a compliment that you even come close to thinking of me as such but understand that I'm far from such ass kissing monuments to my greatness. I am nothing more than a regular around here. But I supposed based on your energy drink that you are anything BUT “regular” as your diet has shown.
Yarmouth? A legend? Really? Even Farquhar, he doesn't have the longevity that I do. No wonder you joined the “Dying Breed”. You can't do anything for yourself so you joined up with a bunch of guys who's life long dream is not to live. I figured you weren't dying fast enough so i decided to try and speed up the process in choking the shit out of you. You can't go to any Asylum and expect not to be attacked by the inmates. Intelligence and skill can only get you so far Williams.
While you pretend to wanna' make things “better”, you are only crippling this brand. There's a reason it's called ASYLUM you chode. It's the brand of violence and the brand of choice by anybody who came to see a good fight. You might be a good wrestler in whatever hole you came from before APW, but I'm a great fighter and whether it be with my new toys or with my bare hands, I will be the good little worker and prepare you for hell by busting you open like a prom night whore.
So tell me again where you proved me wrong? How your tough because you survived me choking the life out of you? You left Asylum with a win because I ALLOWED IT! You aren't good enough to be in the same hell as me so don't try and compare yourself, you'll just have an aneurism. Just remember that while I've EARNED everything I have, everything you have was just handed to you, just like the Tap Out Championship match that I will personally hand the victory to, just like that cushy life you grew up with, just like the spot you got in “Dying Breed”. So before you go around claiming anything, get the facts straight. The worst part is, after I beat you down this week, I have to prepare for the most violent and brutal match of the year......
All you have to do is beat TJ and prove me right. Oh, and remind me to give you the $2 I owe you for selling the diarrhea juice you call an energy drink. It's actually less, but I figured you needed the change more than me.
It shocked Knuckles how his friend TJ could fall into such disdain along with the rest of APW. It's reasons like this that have attributed to the mental anguish and the only satisfaction Knuckles could have, would be to piss TJ off by helping his enemy, take away what took him so long to achieve.
The scene opens up on a junkyard outside of Blackpool, UK. Knuckles figures that there would be no better place to find an array of odd weapons than a junkyard. He is accompanied by Mike, his camera guy, who has been skeptical of Knuckles as of late. Not so much of his identity, but more so of the lack of sanity he may or may not have left.
They walk inside this junkyard called, “Williams and Son Salvage” where they are greeted by some black guy who seems to be mumbling to himself. I guess he hasn't had much company or business and a guy like Knuckles to show up, makes him wish he was closed.
Mike: So what do you hope to accomplish coming here?
Knuckles: You serious? I have a no DQ match against a “wrestler” who thinks they have me beat. He wants to step into MY world and compete? He wants to be TJ? Then he will need to be pushed harder than he's ever been pushed before.
Mike: What's this sudden hatred for TJ? Weren't you guys on good terms?
Knuckles: That's what I thought until the last Asylum. He turned into every other front running Yankee hating fan. I guess that's typical of being a “Pillar”, the requirement is to become an overpaid douche-nozzle with some undeserved sense of accomplishment. So by helping Williams get tough, he might have a chance to take away the new piece of leather TJ took all of last year to get.
Black man: How's it goin' ya' big dummy! What you want?
Knuckles: We wanted to look around for some scrap pieces and see if anything could be of value.
Black man: Fine but make it quick or I'll give you a knuckle-sandwich.
Mike: Wow, this seems oddly racist.....
Knuckles: Suck it Mike.
Knuckles runs off into the distance like a child at a playground. Mike, being left to speak with the owner of this junkyard, feels slightly awkward. Not much of an upgrade having to deal with a cranky old man compared to dealing with a mentally disturbed and borderline homeless wrestler. To each their own right? Knuckles comes running out of the back with a doll and a smile on his face.
Mike: You can't be serious....
Knuckles: It's perfect!
Mike: It's an old Betsey Wetsey doll.
Knuckles: NO! It's a special doll of friendship........
Knuckles squeezes the doll but nothing happens. He squeezes it again and again nothing. He shakes her a little and squeezes her a third time but instead of her wetting herself, a burst of flames shoot out of her ass like a flamethrower shocking the shit out of Mike and almost setting the owner on fire.
Black man: WHAT THE HELL YA' BIG DUMMY!?
Mike: What is that doing here?
Knuckles: Who cares, I want it!
Mike: was this all?
Knuckles: Fuck no. I just wanted to show you what I got so far.
Knuckles walks off as the Black man goes to get a cup of something from his office. He comes back and offers Mike a sip.
Mike: Is this coffee?
Black man: No, actually this is a new energy drink my son just came up with. I thought I would offer you something so you guys can hurry up and get off my property.
Mike: Well, um, thanks?
Mike takes a sip as Knuckles laughs in the back round. He shakes his head in satisfaction before spitting it back up.
Mike: OH MY GOD! What was in that?
Black man: Shit....
Mike: WHAT!?
Black man: My son calls it “Chocolate Waste”. *ding .25 cents* Basically its just a coffee pot he converted out of a toilet. I don't much like the smell but who doesn't love brown goodness? The smell is bad but you can't go wrong with the chunks of corn in it.
Mike runs off camera and spews chunks at the thought of drinking a cup of diarrhea.
Knuckles: CHOCOLATE WASTE!! HA!! *ding .25 cents*.....huh what the hell?
Black man: What's wrong dummy?
Knuckles: Does anybody else here the DING sound after anybody says Chocolate Waste? *ding .25 cents*
Black man: No.....
Knuckles: SEE! There is it again. Why are you selling this crap anyways?
Black man: I'm not, my son is.
Mike finishes his vomit session and rejoins the group. Unfortunately for him, he stomach started rumbling and he felt a sharp pain. I guess a cup of diarrhea gave him the shits. He holds his stomach and manages to tough it out.
Knuckles: How do you guys expect to make any money selling this?
Mike: Yea seriously.
Black man: That will be 30 pounds for that cup of Chocolate Waste. *ding .25 cents*
Knuckles: THERE IT IS AGAIN!! Does nobody hear that?
Mike: 30 POUNDS!? For that swill? I didn't even want it, you offered it to me.
Black man: Well there's a soda machine over there. It's a little old but it only costs a nickle.
Mike walks over and gets himself a bottle of ginger ale in hopes of settling his stomach but it's an old fashioned bottle that needs an opener.
Mike: You have a bottle opener?
Black man: SURE! It'll cost you 30 pounds.
Knuckles: HA!!
Mike: Well played sir, well played. You all set with w “toys” Knuckles?
Knuckles: Ya', I found a new taser since I gave my old one to Kurt Noble for the Experts tournament. Here, see?
Knuckles pulls it out and shocks the fuck out of Mike who drops the soda, falls to the ground and shits himself.
Black man: Fine, so will that be all? So we can get you Dummy's out of here?
Knuckles: Ya', what do we owe you?
Black man: 300........and 30 pounds.
Knuckles: FOR A DOLL AND TASER!?
Mike:.......you're not letting that go are you?
Black man: No.
The man holds his hand out for payment as Knuckles looks over at Mike and gives him a princess puppy dog-like look. (the puss and boots) He pouts his bottom lip at him as Mike just stares back him him, still laying on the ground.
Mike: Really?
Knuckles: What? You know I'm broke.....
Mike: Damn Chocolate Waste......*ding .25 cents*
Knuckles: THERE IT IS AGAIN!! Cmon', you can't tell me you didn't hear that?
Mike: Let's just go before my ass chaffs.
Mike and Knuckles start walking away, slightly bo-legged since Mike just crapped himself, as the scene fades.
Knuckles: An energy drink? Really Williams? I should sue you for likeness rights. You should try and drink whiskey or Donkey Punch like a real man instead of like the walking vagina you turned out to be. You think you know me? You think you understand how I think or how I live or how I feel? You will never know. You will never understand what it's really like to struggle for every single breath.
Watching you wrestle is like watching a fat chick; pole dancing. How do you live with yourself? I'm supposed to watch this bullshit? If I were you, I would be grateful that this isn't inside a cage. But since I'm such “nice guy”, I'm going to do you a favor. TJ, the current Tap Out Champion gave you a title shot that you totally don't deserve but consider it a consolation prize for being a shriveled up twat for not joining Survive and Conquer. You think you're “Smooth?” “Slick?” Way to show pride in the company that gave you a job you arrogant prick.
I'm doing you a favor by beating the living shit out you this week. Welcome to reality WD40. You can't come to Asylum and expect NOT to be in a real fight. Consider this the real test before your title match. Consider this the real on-the-job training. If you walk out of Survive and Conquer as the new Tap Out Champion, it will because I put you on the right level. It will be because I MADE you to be a champion. Not bad for a joke who can't become a champion himself right?
TJ really pissed me off last Asylum. And as much as I want to wipe the chocolate off of that shitty face of yours, it's worth it to me to make you bleed from one end of the ring to the next in order to prepare you for the war at the PPV.
That is why I choked you Billy D. I wanted you to get a taste for who I am and what I do. Winning and losing have no baring on me. What I love is the rush of adrenaline I get from hurting people just like you. It's nothing personal, it's just business although I do get a gleam of joy in doing it. You didn't need to get my attention, because you didn't deserve it. You should probably worry less about my situation and my match at the PPV and worry more about how many blood transfusions you'll need after I'm done.
Will you make it to TJ? Who knows? My job is to simple make sure you have the knowledge, whether you get there physically is none of my damn business. At least you'll have a chance though, and it'll be because of me. There ARE however, a few things I'd like to clear up. First and foremost, I am far from being a legend. I'll accept it as a compliment that you even come close to thinking of me as such but understand that I'm far from such ass kissing monuments to my greatness. I am nothing more than a regular around here. But I supposed based on your energy drink that you are anything BUT “regular” as your diet has shown.
Yarmouth? A legend? Really? Even Farquhar, he doesn't have the longevity that I do. No wonder you joined the “Dying Breed”. You can't do anything for yourself so you joined up with a bunch of guys who's life long dream is not to live. I figured you weren't dying fast enough so i decided to try and speed up the process in choking the shit out of you. You can't go to any Asylum and expect not to be attacked by the inmates. Intelligence and skill can only get you so far Williams.
While you pretend to wanna' make things “better”, you are only crippling this brand. There's a reason it's called ASYLUM you chode. It's the brand of violence and the brand of choice by anybody who came to see a good fight. You might be a good wrestler in whatever hole you came from before APW, but I'm a great fighter and whether it be with my new toys or with my bare hands, I will be the good little worker and prepare you for hell by busting you open like a prom night whore.
So tell me again where you proved me wrong? How your tough because you survived me choking the life out of you? You left Asylum with a win because I ALLOWED IT! You aren't good enough to be in the same hell as me so don't try and compare yourself, you'll just have an aneurism. Just remember that while I've EARNED everything I have, everything you have was just handed to you, just like the Tap Out Championship match that I will personally hand the victory to, just like that cushy life you grew up with, just like the spot you got in “Dying Breed”. So before you go around claiming anything, get the facts straight. The worst part is, after I beat you down this week, I have to prepare for the most violent and brutal match of the year......
All you have to do is beat TJ and prove me right. Oh, and remind me to give you the $2 I owe you for selling the diarrhea juice you call an energy drink. It's actually less, but I figured you needed the change more than me.
