Post by chaos lite on Feb 9, 2013 21:27:19 GMT -4
feb.08.twelve6:28pm
We’ve met before, a few times if memory serves me correctly. My name is Rose Alwell.
At first, I worked alongside several others under a Google subsidiary as one of the lead interviewers for all things relating toward entertainment. While my colleagues were captivated by things like storm chasing and homicides... I was always into one thing: combining the worlds of sports and entertainment.
And with my job still in tact, I’m also an intern for Action Packed Wrestling: effective on February 6, 2013. I was overjoyed. I was ecstatic.
And then they told me my first job.
Sienna Harrison handed me a copy of my intern’s contract and offered me a small, almost nonexistent smile as I gently tugged it from her grasp.
”We’re flying you out to Honolulu tomorrow morning. You’re gonna stay there until Sunday.”
”...Well you aren’t going to hear any complaints from me! Why Hawaii, if I may ask?”
Sienna smiled and I carefully placed the form inside of a folder, not entirely convinced that I would get an answer until-
”Aubrey J. Parker is there. She’s with Code Red Wrestling’s owner, Talon... and I think it would be a nice little surprise if you showed your face. Asked her a few questions. And if she has any objections, remind her of how much she got paid last time.”
”She hates me.”
Back to the present, I was in Hawaii and I hadn’t paid much attention to where I was, or which hotel I had gone to, but I was about .8 seconds away from a panic attack. Pete, my partner since our web shows went on the air, was fanning me with folders, shoving a bottle of Dasani into my hands.
”Rose! Rose!”
I took the water and within a second, I was chugging the bottle as if water was scarce. Pete took a step back.
”I don’t know if I’m gonna walk out of a third meeting with this bitch, Pete. She wants to kill me. She hates interviews. Why do they insist on making me interview her? Why couldn’t it have been anybody else?”
I groaned and finished off the water bottle. I looked around the hotel room at the blank walls. The nothing. There wasn’t anything to comfort me or take my mind off of what I had to do in just a few moments.
”Don’t go in there like that. Get your shit together. We’re leaving to meet her in five.”
”Ugggh are we really?”
We did.
7:55pm
I didn’t walk with a whole lot of confidence, I’ll admit that. Pete was a couple of steps ahead of me with the camera already loaded onto her shoulder and we were approaching this outdoor cafe. It was tiki-themed and I wanted to laugh at the stereotype. I would’ve made a joke, then Pete would’ve laughed, and the stress would’ve been lifted... but I didn’t. Couldn’t.
I saw her sitting there with her pina colada, swinging her legs idly on the tall chairs. Her hair was thrown back in curls and she wore a bright yellow dress that would’ve been out of place back at home, or in Vancouver... but nothing seemed strange about it here in this setting.
Then she saw me.
”I might be sick.”
”Suck it up. Let’s go get this interview and then we can go back and-”
”Rose!”
”...Did she just say my name?”
Pete meandered behind me and pushed me ahead until I got to the table which seemed to take an eternity. He sat at a vacant table, feet away and filmed us.
”Hey-”
”So Sienna sent you here out of spite, right? She and Duvall created some bullshit internship program that Jeff agreed to because his head is all over the place with this Raab shit, and..”
She paused to take a long sip of the pina colada and then raised her eyes back up to mine.
”And she thinks that by sending you here, I’ll be distracted before my match with Jason Kash. I’m sure she owes Kash and Kaylyn a few favors down the road anyway, so why not start here?”
I was flustered; it was obvious. I stammered for a moment trying to find my words and then they finally (shakily) formed.
”She just sent me here to do my job. I-”
”And what is that exactly, Rose?”
I looked at her for a minute and hardened my expression.
”I want to know what you’re going to do differently this time, like you promised the world you would. You said you’d beat Kash and you’d do it in a way that gets you noticed. And...”
Times like these make me wish I had been proactive and written my will. Here goes nothing:
”And if you don’t mind me saying, people are getting tired of the AJP hype train. Title shots after title shots with... almost no credible wins to your name. You haven’t done anything to make these fans care about what happens with you or where your story goes from here if you beat Jason. You can’t just promise to do something different.
You have to do it.”
She was silent for a while and that was enough to make me wish I hadn’t said anything.
Find your fucking guts, Rose. This is your job. Do it.
”What do I tell you that satisfies... all the people that have all these expectations? Do I tell you that I’m going to try to hit Kash harder and before he hits me? Do I tell you that I’m going to beat him with a steel chair until it’s wrapped around his neck? Rose, what would satisfy you?”
”I...”
”Would you be shocked if I said that I know I’m going to beat Jason Kash?”
”No.”
”Why not?”
”Because you say that...”
It was the kind of thing she always said, but that wasn’t the answer. I knew the answer she was looking for, and maybe it was the spite and my rejection of AJP that prevented me from saying it... but I found I didn’t have to.
”Because I say it, and I mean it, and I always back it up. And when you become so good at what you do that people start finding more satisfaction in betting against you, you know you’ve become successful.
I never claimed to be the best in the world nor did I claim to be the best wrestler contracted by APW but I’m good enough to know that betting against Aubrey J. Parker is a bad fucking idea and that pisses people off. I came in here all smiles and waves, and I still love doing what I do. I still love fighting for the people that support me, just like Jason Kash. I love it so much that I’ve become great at it. Excellent at it... just like Jason Kash.
But-
But you might as well have committed a goddamn felony if you show some pride in your accomplishments. It’s funny how Jason Kash went from saying that I impressed him throughout the Suicidal Title match to saying that Shane Borderland held him down... so I could win. It’s funny that people like to tear you down in this business when-”
”When you’re full of yourself. Right?”
She laughed quietly and slapped a palm to her forehead.
”That’s it! I take pride in beating the former two-time World Heavyweight Champion and I’m full of myself.”
”No.
You’re full of yourself because you’re taking that victory and clutching it like it was the damn belt itself. As far as Kash and a lot of people are concerned, that match has never ended. Your fans, and those people in the back started turning their back on you because... you never got the job done. You carry around two title belts but- but a lot of people could make the claim that you’re not a champion.”
...That’s when she struck me with that venomous, deathly glare that I’d been avoiding all day. If I thought I felt sick before, I was dying here.
”Caring about what people think gets really exhausting. Maybe Kash had that right idea when he stopped listening to everybody else and started doing what was right for Kash. It made him a Grand Slam Champion after all.”
She was bitter but she directed her glare toward the nothingness in the ocean, distant and vague, but still visible in the near-darkness as waves crashed and broke against the shore.
”I want to beat him so these rumors and whispers can stop.”
”You think that’ll stop it?”
And just like that, her eyes were back on me.
”I think it goes a lot farther than having to explain myself and defend my accolades every week. For Jason Kash, a win is... him proving to himself that losing the Suicidal Title was a fluke. For me, a win is proving that-”
Her voice tracked toward the end and she cleared her throat, putting a hand over her mouth. At first glance, I thought Aubrey J. Parker was trying to choke back tears, or maybe just a word that she didn’t want to say. She never finished that sentence. To this day, we never got back to it.
”Nothing convinces these people except blood.”
”Blood?”
She smiled at me and nodded.
”Sick fucks, these Asylum fans. Jason, he has this edge about him and he wants to keep the roots of Asylum alive. Hard-hitting and violent and crude and... when I beat him for the Suicidal Championship, these fans expected to see this warrior in his place that would sacrifice their body and throw caution to the wind, and I’ve tried to give them that and it hasn’t been enough.
And it won’t be. Even if I beat Jason in a wrestling match for the ages, that won’t be enough for those people and... do you want to know something my brother, Austin told me?”
”Austin. A wrestler, right?”
She gave a quick nod and continued.
”He told me that you don’t make it in this business until you’ve been broken.”
”...Have you been?”
”I plan to be the exception to that rule.”
She laughed a little and drew her straw to her lips again, folding her arms on the table.
”They won’t break me. It’ll be a cold day in hell.”
”And if somebody could-”
”Would it be Jason Kash?”
I didn’t say anything, but she laughed again and finished her pina colada.
”I guess we’ll find out on Sunday.”
She snapped her fingers toward the waiter and asked for a replacement for her drink. I think Pete ordered one too, but that was all a blur. My heart was pounding, as I dared to say to her what had been on my mind for the past few seconds. When the waiter left, I finally spilled it.
”I don’t think it’d be Kash that would break Aubrey J. Parker.”
She gave me a curious look.
”Who then?”
”I... think that's you. I think AJP would break AJP.”
Again, a laugh, but this one didn’t have as much conviction. Her lips needed more encouragement to form that smile.
”Was that supposed to be witty?”
”It was supposed to be unbiased, but I don’t do a good job of that with you. So I guess it was supposed to help. I think that even if you beat Kash, you’re still gonna have a hell of a time figuring out who you are and where you belong.”
”I know where I belong, Rose. I have two championships to-”
”Two championships that need to be legitimized. You think that you have it all figured out and beating Jason Kash sets everything straight but...”
”You know what?”
She held up her hand and silenced me for the second time, and I wasn’t going to argue. Aubrey didn’t acknowledge the waiter as he brought her pina colada back. She continued to stare ahead at me, stoic.
”I know beating him doesn’t fix everything, because for some reason winning matches around here doesn’t GET me the same respect and positive attention that it gets everybody else. I know that beating him doesn’t get me another shot at the World Heavyweight Title, but it makes me feel better. A hell of a lot better.
Beating Jason Kash might not mean a thing to a single person in this world other than me...and right now, that’s what I care about the most. Me That thinking got Kash a surefire path into the Hall of Fame so what will it get me?”
”Negative attention.”
A bitter grin ensued. She moved the straw back and forth between her fingers and nodded.
”That’s unavoidable in this business. You don’t need to be a veteran or a Grand Slam Champion to know it. To see it.”
I looked back over my shoulder toward the beach where several tourists blared music and shared drinks, dancing near a fire they built. I noticed Pete cast them a glance too and I turned back to Aubrey.
”Why are you here?”
”Is that a question? Talon and I came here to get away for a few days and you came here, summoned me out of my hotel suite and asked me to come here so you could interview me...”
I know she knew what I meant, so I didn’t repeat myself. I looked at her, giving her that look of expectation that she gave me so often before. Eventually, her eye caught mine one too many times and she stopped sipping her drink, putting it on the tabletop with a little more aggressiveness than I think she intended and pointed her finger at me.
”It’s nice to be around people that don’t know you, or what you’ve done. It’s a getaway but it’s fake really, because as you can see, you can’t actually escape anything once you’ve gotten into this business- no- into this world, because it BECOMES you. You become it.
There’s no separation of life from work because everyone is always right there to remind you of exactly who you are, and whatever the general interpretation is- THAT is who you are. The general opinion of Aubrey J. Parker, no matter WHERE I go, is that I’m someone that has to rely on everybody else to get a job done.
There is no getaway. No vacations... no days off.”
She took a deep breath.
I stopped being terrified of Aubrey J. Parker at that moment. She looked fragile, but hostile all at once. Before, I thought she was cold and I still did... but this woman wasn't my enemy. I don't know if she was anybody's. I just know she believed she had many.
”I can only rely on myself to make things better. And if the only thing beating Jason Kash does is make me feel important... then I’ll fight like hell.”
fin.
