Post by Mark Mania on Feb 13, 2013 18:24:02 GMT -4
As I stirred in my sleep, the door burst open and Rosa yelled at me.
“Mark! Is everything okay?”
I look up at her, confused initially, but then as the world comes into focus I get a feel for my surroundings.
“Nothing, nothing, just a bad dream.”
“Don’t tell me it was about the raccoon again.” Rosa pleads with me.
I stare for a moment, knowing that it was about the raccoon. There would be no hiding the expression on my face.
“That time is over, it’s not going to happen again. You beat Delikado, you took the title from him, you’re not going to let him have it back.”
“I know I can beat him, I just didn’t expect to have this happen again.”
“You had to know that eventually he’d get another shot at the title. You weren’t going to be able to avoid him forever.”
“I was just hoping when Kurt won that I’d have to face him.”
“You’re the first person in the history of APW who would’ve rather faced Kurt Noble than Delikado.”
I thought about that for a moment.
“You were there for all of it, Rosa. You saw what it did to me, you saw how I changed when I was facing him. The past two challengers have been cake compared to him.”
“If you worry about it too much, you’re going to lose this match, you can’t allow that to happen.”
“I’m not going to lose my title, I won’t give it back to that animal.”
“That’s the type of attitude I want to hear.”
I think about my dream. With the time passed I can only remember the raccoon jumping onto my face.
“What is that look on your face? Stop thinking about the dream!”
I shake my head to loosen up my brain. A ridiculous action, but it works in cartoons so I figured I’d give it a shot.
“Did you just shake your head to clear your mind?”
I look at her with a smile.
“You’re one of the strangest people I know.”
“And yet you’re still desperately in love with me.”
Rosa looks me up and down and laughs, “You’re missing the few things that I look for in a partner.”
Despite her assurances that she is a lesbian, I can’t help but be attracted to her. I do my best to constantly work my charm and get her to fall into my trap. Hasn’t happened in almost a year, I really don’t think it’s going to happen. And it shouldn’t either, my last assistant, Emily, was the perfect woman. Upon leaving APW in 2010 our entire relationship fell apart and she got dragged into more things than she should’ve been. I’ve tried my best to keep Rosa out of any of those situations, but she has a talent for getting involved more than she should.
“I think I’m going to be alright Rosa. Thanks for checking in on me.”
“Well you were screaming like a little bitch, I wanted to make sure the boogey man wasn’t under your bed.”
“Don’t you work for me?”
“The same way that a President works for a Chairman of the Board, you may be higher up in the food chain, but I do all the real work.”
I lift up my shirt and show an old scar from my last match with Delikado at One Night in Hell.
“YOU put in the real work?”
Rosa rolls her eyes and shuts the door. I offer a laugh and lay back on the pillow. As I start to think about the last time I faced Delikado my brained is rushed with all the lead up to the match. Raccoons, hot air balloons, bats, it was all too much to think about. I couldn’t handle another string of weeks like that. This needs to be a one week and done event. I can’t deal with Delikado more than that. As I drift into sleep, I only wish that I won’t have to see Delikado again.
I’m sitting on a couch backstage of APW Overdrive. Rosa is next to me and I’m polishing back a beer. It’s odd that I’d be drinking before a match, but I think nothing of it and I continue to drink. Suddenly, as I’m bringing the beer bottle up to my mouth I notice a little paw coming out of the stem. Shocked I throw the bottle to the ground.
“What the hell is that?!” Rosa screams.
I look to the ground and where the bottle broke now stands a fully grown raccoon. He stands up on his hind legs and looks directly at me.
“I’ve got you now, Mark.”
“What, what do you mean?” I ask back, panicking.
“It may have taken many months, but I’ve finally got you. I’m going to give you rabies now, Mark.”
“Is it going to hurt?”
“I don’t really know. Raccoons don’t feel pain.”
“Are you sure that’s true?”
“No, no I’m not.”
“I’d really prefer you didn’t give me rabies.”
Just then, the raccoon starts to transform. Suddenly, instead of a raccoon staring back at me, it’s Delikado.
“Oh you son of a bitch, I always knew it was you!”
“Yes, Mark, that’s right! Delikado is HERE!!!”
Delikado laughs like a maniac. He still has some distinctive raccoon features, like the black across his eyes.
“How did you learn how to change into a raccoon?”
“That’s what rabies is! Delikado can become a raccoon and the raccoon can become Delikado!”
I look over at Rosa who hasn’t moved or changed expression since the bottle broke on the ground.
“I’m pretty sure that’s how vampire bites work, not raccoons with rabies.”
“Don’t question Delikado. I am the ruler! The raccoons do my bidding!”
Suddenly raccoons burst through the door to the dressing room and attack Rosa. I try to dive at her to save her but my pants are sewn to the couch. I look at Delikado who is laughing wildly.
“Delikado will now take your woman and turn her into the raccoon queen!”
I look at Rosa, being devoured by the raccoons and scream, “No!”
“No!!”
Rosa bursts into the room again.
“Mark, what the hell!?”
“Oh thank god, I thought you had become the raccoon queen.”
Rosa looks at me with the most outlandish look I’ve ever seen. She tilts her head at me and cocks an eyebrow.
“Nothing, nothing. Just a dream.”
“You need some help. You’re never going to be in a good mindset about this match unless you can deal with this problem. I had no idea you were still this affected by him.”
“I had put it out of my head when I was dealing with Goeren and Gooch. I thought that I was finished with Delikado.”
“Well, you can’t avoid him anymore, he’s going to be across the ring from you this week, you need to deal with him.”
“You’re right, I’ll call my shrink tomorrow.”
“You have a shrink?”
“Well, sort of.”
I’m ready for this match. Say what you will about the dreams, I know that I can beat Delikado. I have to imagine that the dreams are just due to all the damage he did while I was trying to get my hands on that Overdrive title. I spent so much time worrying about how to defeat him. Now that I see I’m going to be facing him again, it brings me to a pretty bad place.
The first time I lost against him and Terry Marvin was a real low-point in my APW career. I know that on the outside it looked like I was just working my way, doing all the work you’re supposed to before you get your hands on the gold. I had come too close to it that night. I thought the match was won, I thought that I had it in the bag. Then it was taken out from underneath me. I felt that maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought. I felt that maybe it was time to hang up the ole boots and end this little comeback tour.
I was in a really bad place. Luckily, by some miracle, I held on. I kept fighting week in and week out. I got entered into the championship scramble and thought that I was going to finally get to the top of the Overdrive division. When I lost there, I really thought it might be over. I thought that I would never be the same. But again, something inside me wouldn’t let me quit. I fought again, this time harder than ever.
Delikado and I went on a pretty expansive journey together. I had no idea what I was in store for and I had no idea who was going to come out on top. But I knew I hated him, and I knew I had to finally make him pay. At One Night in Hell, when I walked away with the Overdrive title a new Mark Mania surfaced. It was like I had finally returned. Knowing that I’m going to have to face him again, and for the Overdrive title brings me back to that bad place. I don’t like the feeling. I don’t want to think about it.
I knew that eventually I’d have to address it, I knew that eventually him and I would be in the ring against each other again. And I knew that when it happened I’d have to beat him and finally quiet the voices in my head. When I beat Delikado at Overdrive tomorrow night, he will be put to rest in my life. I won’t have to worry about him or his goddamn rabies ever again.
As I looked through my phone for the contact of my ‘shrink’ Rosa walked by me. Looking great even though she had just gotten out of bed.
“Sleep okay?” I asked.
“Aside from you screaming in the middle of the night and calling me the raccoon queen? Yeah, slept like a log.”
“Good to hear.”
“Is it the amount of money you have that makes you unable to detect sarcasm?”
“Nope, it’s my lack of interest in the subject.”
Rosa flips me off and goes to get a cup of coffee.
“Are you going to call your shrink?”
“Just about to now.”
“Who is he by the way?”
“An old friend actually.”
“Are you supposed to be friends with your shrink?”
“Well, he’s not really a shrink as much as he took a psychology class once.”
Rosa puts the mug of coffee on the counter and stares at me with her mouth open.
“Mark, who are you calling?”
I look at her and smirk.
“Mark, come on, you can’t just call your buddy.”
“He’s all I have.”
“How about a real doctor!?”
“Well, I’ve tried a real doctor, but they want to give me meds and make me go visit them weekly, it’s really not good.”
“Were you a diagnosed schizophrenic?”
“See that’s what happened when I went to a real doctor! That’s why I’m better off calling Dr. Gnarly.”
“Really? Bill is a doctor now?”
“Well, it makes me feel better when I’m calling him with medical advice if I refer to him as doctor.”
“I’d think as much confidence in him that you got by calling him doctor, you’d lose at least double that when you say his last name is Gnarly.”
“We can’t all have perfect names like, ‘Rosa Ramirez’.”
Rosa flips her hair back, “Isn’t that the truth!?”
“I’m just going to call him, tell him about my issues and we’ll be fine.”
“I think you’re an idiot.”
“I hear that a lot from you.”
“Hello this is Bill Gnarly.” Bill answers in a far more official tone than normal.
“Bill? It’s Mark. What’s going on man?”
“Oh Mark! You little bastard. Everything’s going well, how’re you?”
“Doing pretty well. What was with that official sounding answer you had there?”
“Got a couple businesses going on the side that I need to be professional for.”
“What kind of businesses are these?”
“Shoes.”
“Shoes? People call you for shoes?”
“I’m a shoe consultant.”
“What the fuck is a shoe consultant?”
“People call me when they want to buy new shoes. I go to the store with them and look at them in the shoes. I tell them whether or not they should buy it. You’d be surprised how many women just want an honest answer.”
“That is one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“Well, you’re the one calling me.”
“Can’t argue with you there. Well, here’s the situation. I’m Main Eventing Overdrive this week…”
“Oh that’s awesome man!”
“That’s not the part I wanted to talk about. I’m defending my Overdrive title against Delikado.”
The phone goes silent for a moment.
“Bill?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Mark, you’re going to have to beat him.”
“Oh you think?”
“No, I mean, things could get really bad if you don’t beat him.”
“You’re a great friend, really put me at ease about this whole thing.”
“I wish I could help more. But really, you just need to beat him. There isn’t enough time left in your career to take steps back like this.”
“I’m going to beat him. I know that I have to. I’m just having nightmares about him giving me rabies with raccoons.”
“Does he even have rabies anymore?”
“I have no idea if he ever even had them in the first place.”
“Well, my recommendation is to take an Ambien and drink a glass of scotch.”
“Oh yeah, that’ll help. I’ll definitely be ready for my match then.”
“If you want to sleep, try it.”
“You’ve been a big help Bill. You want me to drug myself up and put a ton of pressure on myself. Glad I called.”
“Oh don’t be a baby.”
“Ah fuck you. See ya later Bill.”
“Bye Marky!”
I hang up the phone and Rosa looks at me astounded.
“What?”
“So you clearly made a big mistake by calling him, eh?”
“Are you kidding, I feel so much better. I can finally relax.”
“I’ll never understand you.”
“It’s the mystery that makes me so entertaining.”
“Well, well, well. Here we are. I didn’t know it would take so long for us to finally get in the ring again together. But here we are, months after One Night in Hell when I put you inside that dog cage and I won the Overdrive title. Now we are the premiere match-up on this week’s Overdrive. We will close out the show and give the world what they want. A lot of time was spent this past week thinking about that. Thinking about the fact that after a show stealing match at One Night in Hell we are finally going to be the premiere match. I’m looking forward to it. My only concern is that we’re not going to live up to the hype.”
“Do you know why we may not live up to the hype, Deli? Things have changed between us. Over the past few months, our careers have gone completely different paths. You partnered with Evan Envi and failed to win a tournament for the tag titles. You battled back and forth with a few different guys but you never really made any waves. You weren’t an attraction anymore. The whole ‘wild man, uncontrollable freak’ thing is over. People aren’t interested by it anymore. Not when you don’t have a title around your waist.”
“When you held that title, it at least gave you some legitimacy. Without the title, you’re just the babbling idiot that I saw you for all along. My path has been quite different though. After I won the title from you, accolades were hurled upon me that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I then got myself into a little issue with Azrael Goeren before I drove him out of the company. I went up against Azrael, the former CWC World Champion and everyone counted me out. I sent him packing and got even more accolades thrown upon me.”
“Here’s the situation now, Deli. Now, I’ve defeated all those that have gotten in my way. I’ve held this Overdrive title for long enough for me to call it MY title. For so long you talked to this thing like it was some sort of anthropomorphic being. You must’ve felt like it was actually your title for a little longer after you lost it to me. You must know for sure now that this isn’t your title. This title isn’t trying to get back into your arms. The Overdrive title belongs with me. The Overdrive title will stay with me. You can bring out all the tricks you want this week. You can give everything you’ve got, but it’s not going to happen.”
“I don’t even really know how you got this opportunity. Is this some sort of rematch clause in your contract? Because from what I remember, the stipulations of the match you were in last week was that whoever wins will get a shot at the Overdrive title. I watched that match over and over again and I could’ve sworn that you lost. I could’ve sworn that Kurt Noble walked away victorious.”
“Now I know that I’m the only person on the face of this earth that wants to face Kurt Noble, but when I saw that he won, I was legitimately excited. I wanted to defend my title against a man who had actually made something out of this title. I know Terry Marvin was a great champion, but he through this title to the side like it was some sort of consolation prize. I don’t think Kurt ever felt that way. I think Kurt respected this title, respected it’s history, and really treated it how it should be treated. So I was excited to get in the ring against him.”
“Then all of a sudden I get word that I’m going to face Delikado. I can’t explain it. You haven’t done anything to deserve this chance. So why on earth should I even be worried about facing you? I can’t think of a reason why I should give you a shot at it. You didn’t earn it. Yes, I know you were the last champion before me, but that doesn’t give you any rights.”
“Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not going to do what I did when we were in a tag match against each other a few months ago. I’m not going to sit ringside and just watch things happens. No, despite the fact that you don’t deserve this chance, I’m going to make sure that you understand why. I’m going to make you remember what it was like to be in that dog cage and watch me walk away with the title all over again. There may not be any weird stipulations or a pay-per-view audience, but you’re going to be feeling mighty nostalgic.”
“We’re at different ends of the spectrum right now Delikado. I have the hype surrounding me. People talk about me like they used to in the old days. I’ve even heard people saying that I’m getting better and better every single week. What is that going to say for you and for your chances of taking this title back? If I’ve gotten even better since we met back in October, what are your chances now in February?”
“At first I was hesitant when I found out we were going to be wrestling against each other. I remember the rabid adventures we went through together. I remember how much hell you put me through leading up to One Night in Hell. So I was reminded of that again and I didn’t like it. But the more I think about it, the more I’m excited that it’s going to be happening. I know that everyone is right when they say that I’m getting better. I feel that I’m getting better. Knowing that I beat you in October, means that I definitely can beat you now.”
“I don’t know what your end game is Delikado. I don’t know if you’re going to try and make another long term run at this Overdrive title. But I know that tomorrow night, I’ll be in that ring waiting for you to bring whatever you’ve got. Every time you try and come for this title, I’m going to be in that ring waiting for you. This is my title. There isn’t anyone out there right now that has the ability to take it from me. Not you, not your little buddy Evan Envi, no one.”
“I’ll see you in the ring tomorrow Deli. And at the end of the night, I cannot wait to let everyone know that DELIKADO IS GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
“Mark! Is everything okay?”
I look up at her, confused initially, but then as the world comes into focus I get a feel for my surroundings.
“Nothing, nothing, just a bad dream.”
“Don’t tell me it was about the raccoon again.” Rosa pleads with me.
I stare for a moment, knowing that it was about the raccoon. There would be no hiding the expression on my face.
“That time is over, it’s not going to happen again. You beat Delikado, you took the title from him, you’re not going to let him have it back.”
“I know I can beat him, I just didn’t expect to have this happen again.”
“You had to know that eventually he’d get another shot at the title. You weren’t going to be able to avoid him forever.”
“I was just hoping when Kurt won that I’d have to face him.”
“You’re the first person in the history of APW who would’ve rather faced Kurt Noble than Delikado.”
I thought about that for a moment.
“You were there for all of it, Rosa. You saw what it did to me, you saw how I changed when I was facing him. The past two challengers have been cake compared to him.”
“If you worry about it too much, you’re going to lose this match, you can’t allow that to happen.”
“I’m not going to lose my title, I won’t give it back to that animal.”
“That’s the type of attitude I want to hear.”
I think about my dream. With the time passed I can only remember the raccoon jumping onto my face.
“What is that look on your face? Stop thinking about the dream!”
I shake my head to loosen up my brain. A ridiculous action, but it works in cartoons so I figured I’d give it a shot.
“Did you just shake your head to clear your mind?”
I look at her with a smile.
“You’re one of the strangest people I know.”
“And yet you’re still desperately in love with me.”
Rosa looks me up and down and laughs, “You’re missing the few things that I look for in a partner.”
Despite her assurances that she is a lesbian, I can’t help but be attracted to her. I do my best to constantly work my charm and get her to fall into my trap. Hasn’t happened in almost a year, I really don’t think it’s going to happen. And it shouldn’t either, my last assistant, Emily, was the perfect woman. Upon leaving APW in 2010 our entire relationship fell apart and she got dragged into more things than she should’ve been. I’ve tried my best to keep Rosa out of any of those situations, but she has a talent for getting involved more than she should.
“I think I’m going to be alright Rosa. Thanks for checking in on me.”
“Well you were screaming like a little bitch, I wanted to make sure the boogey man wasn’t under your bed.”
“Don’t you work for me?”
“The same way that a President works for a Chairman of the Board, you may be higher up in the food chain, but I do all the real work.”
I lift up my shirt and show an old scar from my last match with Delikado at One Night in Hell.
“YOU put in the real work?”
Rosa rolls her eyes and shuts the door. I offer a laugh and lay back on the pillow. As I start to think about the last time I faced Delikado my brained is rushed with all the lead up to the match. Raccoons, hot air balloons, bats, it was all too much to think about. I couldn’t handle another string of weeks like that. This needs to be a one week and done event. I can’t deal with Delikado more than that. As I drift into sleep, I only wish that I won’t have to see Delikado again.
I’m sitting on a couch backstage of APW Overdrive. Rosa is next to me and I’m polishing back a beer. It’s odd that I’d be drinking before a match, but I think nothing of it and I continue to drink. Suddenly, as I’m bringing the beer bottle up to my mouth I notice a little paw coming out of the stem. Shocked I throw the bottle to the ground.
“What the hell is that?!” Rosa screams.
I look to the ground and where the bottle broke now stands a fully grown raccoon. He stands up on his hind legs and looks directly at me.
“I’ve got you now, Mark.”
“What, what do you mean?” I ask back, panicking.
“It may have taken many months, but I’ve finally got you. I’m going to give you rabies now, Mark.”
“Is it going to hurt?”
“I don’t really know. Raccoons don’t feel pain.”
“Are you sure that’s true?”
“No, no I’m not.”
“I’d really prefer you didn’t give me rabies.”
Just then, the raccoon starts to transform. Suddenly, instead of a raccoon staring back at me, it’s Delikado.
“Oh you son of a bitch, I always knew it was you!”
“Yes, Mark, that’s right! Delikado is HERE!!!”
Delikado laughs like a maniac. He still has some distinctive raccoon features, like the black across his eyes.
“How did you learn how to change into a raccoon?”
“That’s what rabies is! Delikado can become a raccoon and the raccoon can become Delikado!”
I look over at Rosa who hasn’t moved or changed expression since the bottle broke on the ground.
“I’m pretty sure that’s how vampire bites work, not raccoons with rabies.”
“Don’t question Delikado. I am the ruler! The raccoons do my bidding!”
Suddenly raccoons burst through the door to the dressing room and attack Rosa. I try to dive at her to save her but my pants are sewn to the couch. I look at Delikado who is laughing wildly.
“Delikado will now take your woman and turn her into the raccoon queen!”
I look at Rosa, being devoured by the raccoons and scream, “No!”
“No!!”
Rosa bursts into the room again.
“Mark, what the hell!?”
“Oh thank god, I thought you had become the raccoon queen.”
Rosa looks at me with the most outlandish look I’ve ever seen. She tilts her head at me and cocks an eyebrow.
“Nothing, nothing. Just a dream.”
“You need some help. You’re never going to be in a good mindset about this match unless you can deal with this problem. I had no idea you were still this affected by him.”
“I had put it out of my head when I was dealing with Goeren and Gooch. I thought that I was finished with Delikado.”
“Well, you can’t avoid him anymore, he’s going to be across the ring from you this week, you need to deal with him.”
“You’re right, I’ll call my shrink tomorrow.”
“You have a shrink?”
“Well, sort of.”
I’m ready for this match. Say what you will about the dreams, I know that I can beat Delikado. I have to imagine that the dreams are just due to all the damage he did while I was trying to get my hands on that Overdrive title. I spent so much time worrying about how to defeat him. Now that I see I’m going to be facing him again, it brings me to a pretty bad place.
The first time I lost against him and Terry Marvin was a real low-point in my APW career. I know that on the outside it looked like I was just working my way, doing all the work you’re supposed to before you get your hands on the gold. I had come too close to it that night. I thought the match was won, I thought that I had it in the bag. Then it was taken out from underneath me. I felt that maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought. I felt that maybe it was time to hang up the ole boots and end this little comeback tour.
I was in a really bad place. Luckily, by some miracle, I held on. I kept fighting week in and week out. I got entered into the championship scramble and thought that I was going to finally get to the top of the Overdrive division. When I lost there, I really thought it might be over. I thought that I would never be the same. But again, something inside me wouldn’t let me quit. I fought again, this time harder than ever.
Delikado and I went on a pretty expansive journey together. I had no idea what I was in store for and I had no idea who was going to come out on top. But I knew I hated him, and I knew I had to finally make him pay. At One Night in Hell, when I walked away with the Overdrive title a new Mark Mania surfaced. It was like I had finally returned. Knowing that I’m going to have to face him again, and for the Overdrive title brings me back to that bad place. I don’t like the feeling. I don’t want to think about it.
I knew that eventually I’d have to address it, I knew that eventually him and I would be in the ring against each other again. And I knew that when it happened I’d have to beat him and finally quiet the voices in my head. When I beat Delikado at Overdrive tomorrow night, he will be put to rest in my life. I won’t have to worry about him or his goddamn rabies ever again.
As I looked through my phone for the contact of my ‘shrink’ Rosa walked by me. Looking great even though she had just gotten out of bed.
“Sleep okay?” I asked.
“Aside from you screaming in the middle of the night and calling me the raccoon queen? Yeah, slept like a log.”
“Good to hear.”
“Is it the amount of money you have that makes you unable to detect sarcasm?”
“Nope, it’s my lack of interest in the subject.”
Rosa flips me off and goes to get a cup of coffee.
“Are you going to call your shrink?”
“Just about to now.”
“Who is he by the way?”
“An old friend actually.”
“Are you supposed to be friends with your shrink?”
“Well, he’s not really a shrink as much as he took a psychology class once.”
Rosa puts the mug of coffee on the counter and stares at me with her mouth open.
“Mark, who are you calling?”
I look at her and smirk.
“Mark, come on, you can’t just call your buddy.”
“He’s all I have.”
“How about a real doctor!?”
“Well, I’ve tried a real doctor, but they want to give me meds and make me go visit them weekly, it’s really not good.”
“Were you a diagnosed schizophrenic?”
“See that’s what happened when I went to a real doctor! That’s why I’m better off calling Dr. Gnarly.”
“Really? Bill is a doctor now?”
“Well, it makes me feel better when I’m calling him with medical advice if I refer to him as doctor.”
“I’d think as much confidence in him that you got by calling him doctor, you’d lose at least double that when you say his last name is Gnarly.”
“We can’t all have perfect names like, ‘Rosa Ramirez’.”
Rosa flips her hair back, “Isn’t that the truth!?”
“I’m just going to call him, tell him about my issues and we’ll be fine.”
“I think you’re an idiot.”
“I hear that a lot from you.”
“Hello this is Bill Gnarly.” Bill answers in a far more official tone than normal.
“Bill? It’s Mark. What’s going on man?”
“Oh Mark! You little bastard. Everything’s going well, how’re you?”
“Doing pretty well. What was with that official sounding answer you had there?”
“Got a couple businesses going on the side that I need to be professional for.”
“What kind of businesses are these?”
“Shoes.”
“Shoes? People call you for shoes?”
“I’m a shoe consultant.”
“What the fuck is a shoe consultant?”
“People call me when they want to buy new shoes. I go to the store with them and look at them in the shoes. I tell them whether or not they should buy it. You’d be surprised how many women just want an honest answer.”
“That is one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“Well, you’re the one calling me.”
“Can’t argue with you there. Well, here’s the situation. I’m Main Eventing Overdrive this week…”
“Oh that’s awesome man!”
“That’s not the part I wanted to talk about. I’m defending my Overdrive title against Delikado.”
The phone goes silent for a moment.
“Bill?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Mark, you’re going to have to beat him.”
“Oh you think?”
“No, I mean, things could get really bad if you don’t beat him.”
“You’re a great friend, really put me at ease about this whole thing.”
“I wish I could help more. But really, you just need to beat him. There isn’t enough time left in your career to take steps back like this.”
“I’m going to beat him. I know that I have to. I’m just having nightmares about him giving me rabies with raccoons.”
“Does he even have rabies anymore?”
“I have no idea if he ever even had them in the first place.”
“Well, my recommendation is to take an Ambien and drink a glass of scotch.”
“Oh yeah, that’ll help. I’ll definitely be ready for my match then.”
“If you want to sleep, try it.”
“You’ve been a big help Bill. You want me to drug myself up and put a ton of pressure on myself. Glad I called.”
“Oh don’t be a baby.”
“Ah fuck you. See ya later Bill.”
“Bye Marky!”
I hang up the phone and Rosa looks at me astounded.
“What?”
“So you clearly made a big mistake by calling him, eh?”
“Are you kidding, I feel so much better. I can finally relax.”
“I’ll never understand you.”
“It’s the mystery that makes me so entertaining.”
“Well, well, well. Here we are. I didn’t know it would take so long for us to finally get in the ring again together. But here we are, months after One Night in Hell when I put you inside that dog cage and I won the Overdrive title. Now we are the premiere match-up on this week’s Overdrive. We will close out the show and give the world what they want. A lot of time was spent this past week thinking about that. Thinking about the fact that after a show stealing match at One Night in Hell we are finally going to be the premiere match. I’m looking forward to it. My only concern is that we’re not going to live up to the hype.”
“Do you know why we may not live up to the hype, Deli? Things have changed between us. Over the past few months, our careers have gone completely different paths. You partnered with Evan Envi and failed to win a tournament for the tag titles. You battled back and forth with a few different guys but you never really made any waves. You weren’t an attraction anymore. The whole ‘wild man, uncontrollable freak’ thing is over. People aren’t interested by it anymore. Not when you don’t have a title around your waist.”
“When you held that title, it at least gave you some legitimacy. Without the title, you’re just the babbling idiot that I saw you for all along. My path has been quite different though. After I won the title from you, accolades were hurled upon me that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I then got myself into a little issue with Azrael Goeren before I drove him out of the company. I went up against Azrael, the former CWC World Champion and everyone counted me out. I sent him packing and got even more accolades thrown upon me.”
“Here’s the situation now, Deli. Now, I’ve defeated all those that have gotten in my way. I’ve held this Overdrive title for long enough for me to call it MY title. For so long you talked to this thing like it was some sort of anthropomorphic being. You must’ve felt like it was actually your title for a little longer after you lost it to me. You must know for sure now that this isn’t your title. This title isn’t trying to get back into your arms. The Overdrive title belongs with me. The Overdrive title will stay with me. You can bring out all the tricks you want this week. You can give everything you’ve got, but it’s not going to happen.”
“I don’t even really know how you got this opportunity. Is this some sort of rematch clause in your contract? Because from what I remember, the stipulations of the match you were in last week was that whoever wins will get a shot at the Overdrive title. I watched that match over and over again and I could’ve sworn that you lost. I could’ve sworn that Kurt Noble walked away victorious.”
“Now I know that I’m the only person on the face of this earth that wants to face Kurt Noble, but when I saw that he won, I was legitimately excited. I wanted to defend my title against a man who had actually made something out of this title. I know Terry Marvin was a great champion, but he through this title to the side like it was some sort of consolation prize. I don’t think Kurt ever felt that way. I think Kurt respected this title, respected it’s history, and really treated it how it should be treated. So I was excited to get in the ring against him.”
“Then all of a sudden I get word that I’m going to face Delikado. I can’t explain it. You haven’t done anything to deserve this chance. So why on earth should I even be worried about facing you? I can’t think of a reason why I should give you a shot at it. You didn’t earn it. Yes, I know you were the last champion before me, but that doesn’t give you any rights.”
“Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not going to do what I did when we were in a tag match against each other a few months ago. I’m not going to sit ringside and just watch things happens. No, despite the fact that you don’t deserve this chance, I’m going to make sure that you understand why. I’m going to make you remember what it was like to be in that dog cage and watch me walk away with the title all over again. There may not be any weird stipulations or a pay-per-view audience, but you’re going to be feeling mighty nostalgic.”
“We’re at different ends of the spectrum right now Delikado. I have the hype surrounding me. People talk about me like they used to in the old days. I’ve even heard people saying that I’m getting better and better every single week. What is that going to say for you and for your chances of taking this title back? If I’ve gotten even better since we met back in October, what are your chances now in February?”
“At first I was hesitant when I found out we were going to be wrestling against each other. I remember the rabid adventures we went through together. I remember how much hell you put me through leading up to One Night in Hell. So I was reminded of that again and I didn’t like it. But the more I think about it, the more I’m excited that it’s going to be happening. I know that everyone is right when they say that I’m getting better. I feel that I’m getting better. Knowing that I beat you in October, means that I definitely can beat you now.”
“I don’t know what your end game is Delikado. I don’t know if you’re going to try and make another long term run at this Overdrive title. But I know that tomorrow night, I’ll be in that ring waiting for you to bring whatever you’ve got. Every time you try and come for this title, I’m going to be in that ring waiting for you. This is my title. There isn’t anyone out there right now that has the ability to take it from me. Not you, not your little buddy Evan Envi, no one.”
“I’ll see you in the ring tomorrow Deli. And at the end of the night, I cannot wait to let everyone know that DELIKADO IS GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
