Post by Slade "The Main Man" Craven on Feb 23, 2013 22:22:48 GMT -4
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So I'm sitting in the back last week, enjoying my victory mind you when Stefan Raab cuts a segment talking about how he planned to kick my ass. Think about it. But thats not the point, the real reason I wasted five minutes of my life watching him try to talk trash to TJ is... I'm not facing Stefan Raab this week!
When I saw that I felt tears of joy well up in my eyes. No more having to smell that nasty, crusty, bubbled ass freak. There was a whole new world of "talent" out there for me. I wondered who they would throw me against. And then I saw the card: Slade Craven versus Jair Hopkins. Dammit! I said new talent not someone I've worked in passing a few times!
I wish I could say this was someone new for me to face, but at least it's someone different. Jair Hopkins the man who built a head of steam by toppling the Pillars last Asylum. Well freaking done. I guess I have to applaud because you did something I didn't get to do. But I blame Raab for that. I really would enjoy the chance to pull a Samson and bring those Pillars down, but I'll settle for you.
But listen up Chocolate Thunder, I want you to understand something. Last time I was in the ring with you I said some pretty offensive things. People have accused me of being a racist. I don't hate black people, I hate everybody! So trust that when I say: I plan to go plantation owner on your ass tonight, I'm all business.
Because I believe in this business, I'm probably one of the last true wrestlers in this industry. People like you are the reason I am still wrestling today. You freaking rookies make me sick. You latch onto any big name you can find so they will ferry your ass up to the top. Look at you and your tag partner, the man with the same first name as his last.
The Dying Breed, are ya'll still here? Well I guess so after a few weeks back. I thought I had done a great job of eliminating your asses. Looks like I better step up my game. Sounds like a plan.
But Black Ninja Dynamite I want you to know, I've been thinking about you and I. I've been wondering about our very brief nearly indirect history. I made my Asylum debut in a match with you. We really didn't have the opportunity to do too much seeing as you broke your arm in that match. And last time we were in the ring at the same time I recall my foot catching you right under the jar and sending you over the top rope.
I haven't really seen much from you since you showed up in APW. But then again who am I to talk? The thing is Buckwheat, when I look at you, I see myself. We both grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, we both love to deliver a good beatdown only difference between us is our pigmentation. But I have had a dream Jair. I've had a dream that people of professional wrestling will brawl together and not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their shit talk.
So when facing a young upstart, who probably flunked out of high school, like yourself. I should be mindful of my audience. I'm sure you're sitting in your nice hotel room right now hanging on everyword I'm saying Jair. Just thinking what you're going to say to make me seem like a jerk-off.
I don't give a shit, son.
I've had to listen to Stefan "talk crap" about me for awhile now. I welcome your words. What do you got? Huh? Look at you, saggy pants, baggy clothes, goofy teeth and speaking Jive? What that supposed to impress me?
You want to look good tonight, come to the ring and actually wrestle. If you want to just fight? We can meet up in the parking lot, either way works for me, Jair. I'm a ten year veteran in this business rookie I don't take shit from anybody. I may smile at the boss when he tells me I have to take a dive, but when it comes to some low down part timer like you. Nuh-uh!
Show me what you got Jair, dammit man you got the stupidest freaking name I ever heard. Is that your Christian name; are you really proud of it? Jesus Christmas how drunk were your parents when they named you? Must have been that epidural, your druggy mother must have been main lining that crap.
If you ask me, I think she was just saying "There" as in "There that freaking parasite is out of my uterus, doctor please go bury it in an onion field. I know I called Stefan freaking ugly but you, ya freaking porch monkey, it's okay I'm taking it back, you look like the freaking missing link.
But what good is it to call you ugly? You're black, you know you are. Don't get mad at me to telling the truth, embrace your jig-a-boo heritage.
I've heard the commentators all crying "Why Slade! Why did you do it?" No one seems to realize what I already have. These people, the very people you represent Jair, they are insects. A teeming pile of ants that pick apart everything. And then there's the queen: Schmidt, Jeff take your pick, who directs their attention.
The queen tells the ants what to do. And the ants, these mindless drones and soliders crawl all over us, attacking whoever the queen targets and they carry those she wants. You should consider yourself lucky, Jair. The you've won the queen's favor. She has told those people to love you, she started to turned them against me. When I saw the wall coming down I became the magnifying glass. I will burn the people I will cleanse them Jair. I am here to save these people; whether they like it or not.
You may not like me, but I will make you respect me Hopkins. You're in my ring now, son. You want to be Head Ninja in Charge? You can start by going through me. Ding Ding monkey-fucker. I'm turning my magnifying glass to you tonight and you will burn before my light.
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So I'm sitting in the back last week, enjoying my victory mind you when Stefan Raab cuts a segment talking about how he planned to kick my ass. Think about it. But thats not the point, the real reason I wasted five minutes of my life watching him try to talk trash to TJ is... I'm not facing Stefan Raab this week!
When I saw that I felt tears of joy well up in my eyes. No more having to smell that nasty, crusty, bubbled ass freak. There was a whole new world of "talent" out there for me. I wondered who they would throw me against. And then I saw the card: Slade Craven versus Jair Hopkins. Dammit! I said new talent not someone I've worked in passing a few times!
I wish I could say this was someone new for me to face, but at least it's someone different. Jair Hopkins the man who built a head of steam by toppling the Pillars last Asylum. Well freaking done. I guess I have to applaud because you did something I didn't get to do. But I blame Raab for that. I really would enjoy the chance to pull a Samson and bring those Pillars down, but I'll settle for you.
But listen up Chocolate Thunder, I want you to understand something. Last time I was in the ring with you I said some pretty offensive things. People have accused me of being a racist. I don't hate black people, I hate everybody! So trust that when I say: I plan to go plantation owner on your ass tonight, I'm all business.
Because I believe in this business, I'm probably one of the last true wrestlers in this industry. People like you are the reason I am still wrestling today. You freaking rookies make me sick. You latch onto any big name you can find so they will ferry your ass up to the top. Look at you and your tag partner, the man with the same first name as his last.
The Dying Breed, are ya'll still here? Well I guess so after a few weeks back. I thought I had done a great job of eliminating your asses. Looks like I better step up my game. Sounds like a plan.
But Black Ninja Dynamite I want you to know, I've been thinking about you and I. I've been wondering about our very brief nearly indirect history. I made my Asylum debut in a match with you. We really didn't have the opportunity to do too much seeing as you broke your arm in that match. And last time we were in the ring at the same time I recall my foot catching you right under the jar and sending you over the top rope.
I haven't really seen much from you since you showed up in APW. But then again who am I to talk? The thing is Buckwheat, when I look at you, I see myself. We both grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, we both love to deliver a good beatdown only difference between us is our pigmentation. But I have had a dream Jair. I've had a dream that people of professional wrestling will brawl together and not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their shit talk.
So when facing a young upstart, who probably flunked out of high school, like yourself. I should be mindful of my audience. I'm sure you're sitting in your nice hotel room right now hanging on everyword I'm saying Jair. Just thinking what you're going to say to make me seem like a jerk-off.
I don't give a shit, son.
I've had to listen to Stefan "talk crap" about me for awhile now. I welcome your words. What do you got? Huh? Look at you, saggy pants, baggy clothes, goofy teeth and speaking Jive? What that supposed to impress me?
You want to look good tonight, come to the ring and actually wrestle. If you want to just fight? We can meet up in the parking lot, either way works for me, Jair. I'm a ten year veteran in this business rookie I don't take shit from anybody. I may smile at the boss when he tells me I have to take a dive, but when it comes to some low down part timer like you. Nuh-uh!
Show me what you got Jair, dammit man you got the stupidest freaking name I ever heard. Is that your Christian name; are you really proud of it? Jesus Christmas how drunk were your parents when they named you? Must have been that epidural, your druggy mother must have been main lining that crap.
If you ask me, I think she was just saying "There" as in "There that freaking parasite is out of my uterus, doctor please go bury it in an onion field. I know I called Stefan freaking ugly but you, ya freaking porch monkey, it's okay I'm taking it back, you look like the freaking missing link.
But what good is it to call you ugly? You're black, you know you are. Don't get mad at me to telling the truth, embrace your jig-a-boo heritage.
I've heard the commentators all crying "Why Slade! Why did you do it?" No one seems to realize what I already have. These people, the very people you represent Jair, they are insects. A teeming pile of ants that pick apart everything. And then there's the queen: Schmidt, Jeff take your pick, who directs their attention.
The queen tells the ants what to do. And the ants, these mindless drones and soliders crawl all over us, attacking whoever the queen targets and they carry those she wants. You should consider yourself lucky, Jair. The you've won the queen's favor. She has told those people to love you, she started to turned them against me. When I saw the wall coming down I became the magnifying glass. I will burn the people I will cleanse them Jair. I am here to save these people; whether they like it or not.
You may not like me, but I will make you respect me Hopkins. You're in my ring now, son. You want to be Head Ninja in Charge? You can start by going through me. Ding Ding monkey-fucker. I'm turning my magnifying glass to you tonight and you will burn before my light.
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