Getting back into it.

[Legion]

My RP this week gets me back RPing as Legion full time for the first time since the early part of last year's Extreme Tournament. That was last summer.

As such, I could really use some feedback and input. What'd you think of this past RP? Anything I can work on to improve what I need to tell, show, etc with Legion going further?

[Mark Mania]

I figured I'd take a shot at this.

Starting an RP with a quote was so cliche for so long that I don't think it is anymore. It was refreshing to start with it, it really set the tone for the RP and was scathing enough to understand why Legion would do what he did.

I love your writing, I always have, it was an interesting, albeit short story.

The little dig at AC Smith about thinking you faced Lively instead of me was good.

Small little grammar thing, you started a paragraph with "And" which I never like to see, it would've been just as effective if it started, "Rest up I did, Clark."

On the whole, you're clearly a talented writer and I know you're just working rust off and getting yourself acclimated to APW. The best advice I can give you is to step up the trash talk. APW is heavy with it.

Obviously keep the storytelling and the character development, but if you don't have strong trash talk you won't have the most success.

This was a good introduction to Legion where you went over your accomplishments but didn't feel like you were coming in saying you were going to knock of Terry Marvin at week three.

So, expand on the story telling, and throw in some trash talk and the success will continue for you here like it has in your past feds.

[Jason Cashe]

I was all ready to "Read N' Feed" your rp....Yet you done fucked up! When you request Feedback, you're suppose to....Wait, I have to whisper it so the other new people can mess up and you're not the only one.

You're suppose to leave a link to the rp you want feedback for. That way lazy people like me and many others don't have to go and find it. Makes it easier.

[Legion]

Thanks for the heads up, Kash. I'll remember that for the next time lol

Thanks for the input, Mark.