Post by Delikado on Mar 7, 2013 17:59:50 GMT -4
--Delikado Audio Interview, Part 1, Section 1--
You want Delikado to tell you how the next episode of Overdrive is gonna go down? Last one before Rasslemania IX, you gotta be expecting a big ol showdown to play out. Maybe you want Da Bawse to tell you how it’ll all tie-in to the finale at the grandest of APW’s stages? But you know what, Delikado ain’t one for spoilers, and so he’ll keep it simple. Keep it right here in the here now present-o on our last Overdrive before everything comes to a head. Well here it is:
Delikado’s storming the gates of Budweiser Gardens of London…Ontario…Canada…and he’s making it THE show to be proud of and to respect, as he opens the doors and sets off the countdown against one Legion and one Dan White. Now, it ain’t just Delikado’s participation in the match you’ll want to admire, it’ll be opponent #1 and opponent #2 as well—and Delikado’s performance against them will leave you such a fan of Da Bawse, a fan *reborn* actually, since you’re all already great big fans of the D-Man. You will all feel lucky, GRATEFUL to have Delikado amongst you! This is a match about building new foundations, building APW’s future, bitches, about people taking the mantle of where this company’s going, because it ain’t just about the champions leading the pack anymore. Hell-to-the-no on THAT idea. It’s about changing the course of history, with Delikado’s APW guiding each and every one of ya in directions you never thought you’d go.
This episode, Delikado vs. Legion and White, will see Delikado cross the boundary between “Boss” Delikado and “Legend” Delikado.
THIS will be Delikado striking back at long last! And in this case, I strike back with more than JUST a smile, a laugh, and a champagne bottle across your faces! Maybe there’ll be a boot, a fist, possibility even a headbutt! But at the end of the night, above all else, Delikado will strike back at the evils of Overdrive and the evils of Action Packed Wrestling with THE most powerful weapon there is: My UNSTOPPABLE talents! The ability of me to do EVER-Y-THING! Delikado’s ability to know ALL about ALL, and his skillset to defeat the FOOLS who stand before him not just in the ring or in the back, but at the top of the chain of command! This Thursday, you see it ALL! This week, the best episode of Overdrive, is about to give way to the best RUN of APW imaginable! Legion and Dan White make up some of the material, but they are cannon fodder, FILLER to Deli and all his gains! It is something to be proud of, and they should feel that their careers FINALLY have gotten it right when they fall before Da BAWSE, and the momentum skyrockets this great company INTO INFAMY UNDER MEEEEEEEE!! BEST. WRITING. EVER!!!
In my restless dreams, I see that carnival…The Carnival.
The scene slowly fades in to a girl in all white, with long black hair standing on a cliff-side overlooking the carnival in the distance. A mildly thick fog rolls around the girl as she stares dead ahead.
You promised you’d buy me cotton candy from there someday, but you never did. You bought me Pop Rocks instead, even though I hate them. I hate them so much. Well, I’m on my way there now, waiting for you to join me and buy me some freakin’ cotton candy. Douche.
Suddenly, a bell rings and before the lady can react, a bicycle flies by at a break-neck speed, bumping her just enough to send the woman tumbling off the cliff with a scream. The bike is being ridden by none other than Jimmy Gooch, who glances briefly over his shoulder.
Jimmy Gooch: Sorry, ma’am!
Jimmy pants as he straightens out the cargo attached to his bike to keep it from falling. He shakes his head and peddles faster down the trail toward the carnival.
Jimmy: Dang fog, can’t see a thing…
The 16-year-old young man skids his bike around a sharp corner as a squawk is heard and a penguin rushes past him.
Jimmy: Was that a—
Suddenly, Jimmy comes to a stop as he reaches the outer rim of the carnival. The fog has only intensified in its depths as the boy climbs off his bike and slowly approaches the fenced-in carnival. Doing his best to see through the fog, Jimmy narrows his eyes.
Jimmy: Hello? Anybody here?
A few moments pass, almost silently except for a distant squawk like that of the penguin Jimmy nearly hit moments earlier. A heavy iron door is heard groaning open to the side, and out walks Delikado, a cigar in his mouth. The Cuban immediately approaches Jimmy at the fence with a grand arm gesture at both sides.
Boss Delikado: Jimmeh boy!
Jimmy: Heya, Bawse. I hurried here as soon as I could, wasn’t quite expecting to meet up all the way out here to be frank…
After opening a small gate to welcome Jimmy in, Delikado casually blows smoke out of the corner of his mouth; the smoke almost mixes with the fog to the point you’d think Delikado’s cigar created this element of nature. Jimmy grabs ahold of the gear he brought on his bike.
Jimmy: I brought trainin’ supplies, since you said we were gonna be trainin’ and all. Pull-up bar, couple of weights, I reckon you have some stuff of your own we can use. Whattya think?
Jimmy offers the bags of equipment to his supposed mentor, who takes hold of the bags in one hand, eyes them briefly, and then bluntly discards them into a nearby puddle.
Boss Delikado: Delikado thinks they all effing SUCK, Jimmy.
Jimmy: What? But, uh, I thought you said we were gonna train for your match and all that? Not to mention you was gonna teach me a thing or two about the sport, what with you fighting in that triple threat and whatnot.
Delikado dabs cigar ash to the ground and shakes his head toward the dumped bag of training gear. He then focuses on his young apprentice with a calculating eye.
Boss Delikado: Delikado realizes you’re bound to make mistakes early on, thinking that way. That’s why you’re here now to learn from the master. Ya see, Jim-bo, Delikado appreciates the belief and attitude you got going on, implying that with facing two foes like Legion and the “Welsh Dragon” Delikado should train the old-fashioned, classical way with push-ups and sit-ups and planning. But, uh, you gotta understand that ain’t me, and that shouldn’t be you either, or hell ANYONE of the REAL APW brand. Delikado fights his own unique, memorable way, and his preparation comes just as original, no matter who the no-balls up in management put me against.
Jimmy: Then what--
Boss Delikado: Ah, not finished. Now hell, Delikado could go to a gym right now and work until he’s red in the face and drained in the package, he could march into Overdrive with an invigoration unlike any ever seen thanks to that work-out you’re suggesting, and he might right-on win…but it wouldn’t be a ‘Delikado’ win, you see? It’d be a “NOT-Delikado” win, the way everyone else who’s a nobody in the scheme of things wins. Delikado’s got the muscles and the durability and the mind to pull all that off…but he ain’t got the classlessness to sell-out. All Delikado’s got is an unyielding Cuban fire that eats up all the bitches and never surrenders no matter the cost. Impressive? Yes. Best medicine doctor could recommend? For me, yes. But you try to verbally talk it out, try to explain “me” to one of those boner-killers Delikado’s facing in a few days, it’ll just ruffle their feathers and get them yammering off about shit nobody gives a shit to listen to. It’ll work them up a bit, but pronouncing the Delikado effect on fools ain’t got the echo like it used to.
Jimmy: Soooo…what ARE we going to do then…?
Delikado grins through the cigar and pats his young student on the shoulder.
Boss Delikado: Don’tchu worry, Delikado’s always got tools of his trade lying about. We just gotta open up the freshest can of madness that’s landed on our doorstep! THAT is the surest path to great training.
Jimmy cocks an eyebrow of wonder.
Jimmy: “Madness?”
Boss Delikado: My middle name. No, really, it is. Delikado’ll show you his birth certificate later, but first…
Some bushes rustle nearby and Delikado leaps toward them, arcing his leg up for the Last Call to Cuba.
Boss Delikado: LIKE. A. BAWSE!
Delikado connects with the bushes, sending a penguin flying straight into Jimmy’s bike and causing both to tumble over. The Cuban looks to Jimmy, winks, and motions for him to follow him through the gate into the inner part of the carnival. Along the way, the two walk past an active television promoting the next Overdrive.
Commentator: Yes, ladies and gents, the highlight of professional wrestling, Action Packed Wrestling’s “Rasslemania IX” is just around the corner, with one of our last stops being Overdrive, coming to you live from the Budweiser Gardens in London, Ontario, Canada! The APW megastars are sure to be in high-form this Thursday, starting out with a triple threat between APW newcomers Legion and Dan White, aka “The Welsh Dragon”, and that wacky household name, Delikado. Now, I think we’re all familiar with the fact that lately Delikado’s been in a bit of a dry spell as far as success goes. As someone who calls himself “The Boss”, the Cuban Warrior has done little but be bossed around for the past couple weeks like I am by my wife, leading some to suggest this once prominent star’s light may be dwindling. It was right around this time last year at “Rasslemania VIII” that Delikado made his APW debut, with many initially calling him a star with tremendous potential in the company. But as his and my anniversary to that high-school sweet-heart of mine turned cheating harlot who takes all my money in return for nothing rolls in, one has to question whether it’ll be an event of remorse, or if the best is still to come from everybody’s favorite Cuban. Could this triple threat be the opportunity for a victory that Delikado desperately needs if he wants to reach the mountain tops of glory again, or will the new breed of APW megastars do him in and put out the Cuban fire once…and for all? This is Ida No-Nutin from Totally Exciting News ‘n Stuff News, Kaci, you’ve ruined my existence, and we’ll be right back.
Delikado chomps on his cigar, takes a puff, and exhales smoke as he narrows his eyes at the TV while Jimmy silently looks on. The Cuban motions for the young Gooch to follow after him again.
Boss Delikado: All it used to takes was a mention of Delikado’s name to put entire companies on edge. Some people might call these days we’re living the beginning of the end, Jimmy boy……but Delikado ain’t “some people”.
Delikado leaps over a rail and walks toward a large open window overlooking the carnival grounds.
Boss Delikado: Here we be’s.
Delikado flicks the cigar out the window and we follow the cigar’s path…all the way to the ground that is swarming with a massive colony of noisy, active penguins! Jimmy, being the southern boy that he is, wears a face of utmost bewilderment at the sight.
Jimmy: What the heck are THOSE supposed to be?
Boss Delikado: Penguins, Jimmy! Adélie Penguins, if you want to get mathematical of whatever. Now c’mon, let’s you and me train!
Jimmy: Whoa, whoa, hold up a sec. Can’t I have a little, uhhh…context or something first?
Delikado, who was about to leap out the window and seemingly take on the penguins, looks over to his confused apprentice.
Boss Delikado: Penguins have invaded Delikado’s carnival and if he gets rid of them, some douchebag with a moustache is gonna give me back what’s already mine. Now that’s all good in and of itself, but Delikado being the in…CREDIBLE genius he is, he figured he’d use this as an opportunity to train you on how a REAL APW megastar should work AND warm up my blood flow for that triple threat. It’s a win-win…win. Threesome of wins, alright!
Jimmy: But those are animals down there, and you’re wrestling people. There’s kind of a difference, don’tcha think?
Boss Delikado: Ah, what is man but a taller animal like the penguin??
Delikado, clearly missing the point of what Jimmy is trying to say, has begun to tape his fists and tighten his wrestling boots.
Jimmy: Won’t those PETA people come down on you for this? Or heck, APW management??
Delikado pops the cork off a champagne bottle and downs some of it. When he’s done, he gives Jimmy a wide-eyed, crazy look.
Boss Delikado: They wanna stop me? Any of them want a piece of Delikado, they can jump right in that ring too. Delikado’ll fight ‘em all!
He grins dangerously and offers the champagne to Jimmy.
Jimmy: I’m not legal, I ain’t allowed to drink this, Delikado…
Boss Delikado: You’ll be able to do whatever the fudge you want when Delikado’s finished molding you! NOW WATCH ME MAKE IT RAIN!!!
Delikado backflips out the window and lands several feet below on his toes. He stands amongst the hordes of penguins, silently and without a move at first. The Adélie Penguins all turn their focus off destroying the carnival grounds and to the Cuban, squawking threateningly. Jimmy watches from out the window above, a stunned, almost horrified look in his eyes. Delikado’s eyes, on the other hand, burn with determination and a haughty fire as the lead Adélie Penguin (it’s the leader cuz I said so) approaches this new threat and hisses menacingly. Delikado responds by hissing right back!
Like tiny black and white velociraptors, the penguins pounce for Delikado, hungry for his flesh, but with a roll of his neck, the Cuban dives right at them with his taped-fist raised and a roar of unleashed aggression and volatile rage.
Delikado here. Narrating his own climactic battle to bring you an interlude, a combination of the here and now, and the days, weeks, months…years…to come:
Delikado clocks two penguins in the jaw with his knuckles, knocking them aside effortlessly.
Legion. Danny. Here’s what happens to you, for you, because of you. Delikado. Wins. And Delikado. Rises. AGAIN! The APW, the REAL APW Delikado has spoken of and pushed for longer and harder than you two have done ANYTHING in your lives, is about to transform. Whatever the cost, whoever has to pay that cost, and whichever means those who have to pay whatever that cost ends up being. This Cuban’s fire is NOT wallowing down, least of all because of one of you. The day’s just getting started. And when it finally, finally, FINALLY concludes, they day will see Da Bawse standing famously, legendarily, with his name in the books of all that is glorious and all that is awesome and all that is the “pro” in “professional wrestling”. Nothing keeps Delikado from wielding everything.
Nothing.
Delikado grabs a penguin and headbutts it. He uses its dazed form like a broom, sweeping away a small gathering of penguins that have crunched together to try and charge him. The penguins back off momentarily, giving Delikado a moment to glance up to young Jimmy, who he seems to salute with a small, smug head nod. However, one penguin uses this opportunity to try and leap at Delikado from behind, only for the Cuban to duck at the last second and bring up a closed fist, knocking some of the penguin’s teeth out…IF IT HAD ANY!
Yeah, it’s been rough sailing lately. Smith, Mania, Terry. But if either of you thinks for a SECOND that “losing” to them somehow makes Delikado the lesser-than in comparison, if that SOMEHOW equals Delikado being “weak” and “easy pickings” for the likes of your starting APW-runs…then you truly don’t know what it means to be a Bawse. It’s pretty much a FACT! set in stone that if you believe that Delikado is a poor quality of athlete because he doesn’t get a “W” on his little tally every week, your asses will be kicked harder than anyone else’s asses have ever been kicked, and you two will be NOTHING but my BITCHES! You’re pretty much destined for a short ride if you think a few glitches in the system means you’ve cracked this code and can run the system as you please. Delikado is willing to put the Dragon in a coma, and he’s capable of shattering every bone in the Legion’s body just to prove that point.
Delikado grips ahold of a caramel syringe-thingy from one of the carnival food-carts and shoots it at the penguins, surprisingly getting a rush of caramel that covers the approaching wild beasts. Those who are hit are stopped in their tracks, and Delikado uses the opportunity to SMACK THOSE PENGUINS IN THEIR FACES! He knees many of them in their guts as well, but a giant wave, reinforcements, have arrived, and Delikado begins to leap back, seeking out new methods to combat the colony.
Legion, let Delikado just be the first to “officially” welcome you to APW…the REAL APW that is…and let him also be the first to bid you farewell from the REAL APW. After all let’s face it, you’re the kind of guy who only joins a company as elaborate as ours because you lost a bet. Actually, that’s how it happened! Your PA-THE-TIC showing in the Survive and Conquer burdened us with your presence and, admittedly, blessed you with an incredible gift. You are not in the business of joining and competing in GOOD wrestling promotions not because you feel they are below you, and that they’re not worth your time. On the contrary, you didn’t join us until now because you’re scared. You’re scared because you SUCK and have ZERO chance of gaining any sort of edge in the face of TRUE competition.
Delikado grabs one stray penguin by its neck and uses it as a shield as a gathering of penguins spits chewed-up food at him. As he goes to throw the penguin, however, its beak drags across the Cuban’s forehead, spilling a minor amount of blood down his face. Nonetheless, Da Bawse sees the blood cloud his vision, and the world seems to turn red.
FACT!
Delikado roars as he delivers a Last Call to Cuba onto one of the commanding penguins, plunging it in the belly and causing it to soar amongst its comrades. He brutally elbows one between the eyes and shatters another’s back over his knee. The combat continues under the narration, which is passionate and flame-filled.
You held out on being part of this company for so long because you bring nothing to the table Delikado feels the need to examine, much less sample. You are the weakest of this triangle match, both in spirit and physical display. You’re the reason wrestling is to cease being an Olympic sport, and why watching paint dry is being made its replacement. Dude, you’re just ugly. Straight up. Fugly even. That’s all there is to “expect” of you: Shit. You’re one of the many, many reasons Delikado hates and generally shows caution around newcomers. Because in time, you will find that that bet you lost netted you debts that you’ll never pay off, and you’ll try to drag the rest of us down with you. And after five-years of, as you have decided to call what you do, “wrestling”, it gets to the point where someone has to set you down and say calmly, to your stress-giving face, on behalf of the greater goodness of this business:
The minor line of blood still dribbling down his face in addition to sweat, sending the rabid Cuban crazier, Delikado pants and points to a giant, human-sized penguin that has hobbled into view.
“Dude. Just give up. Put the shotty in your mouth, put a finger on the trigger, and just give the eff up.”
Delikado runs for the giant Adélie Penguin and engages it Shadow of the Colossus style. He climbs its leg and jabs his mighty fist into its flipper-thingy. When the penguin squawks in pain, it stumbles and allows Delikado to jump on its back.
Legion, Delikado is the one telling you this. And he’s got the shotty—aka my boot--all loaded and cocked and ready to blast a hole right between your teeth, snapping your head back, and putting you out of my APW’s misery. Call it the annulment of this horrific bet you made with Delikado’s peers. Bye-bye. The “legion” of fans you don’t have won’t be missing you.
Delikado reaches the penguin’s upper body. He leaps into the air, and dives downward with his boot, delivering a modified Last Call to Cuba that brings the giant penguin down in defeat. Delikado stands, taking a quick breather…before he t-bags the penguin and jumps for the others, who are in awe of the Cuban’s triumph.
But maybe, just maybe…it’s the Dragon that Delikado should take heed of in this match. After all, he IS a “Welsh Dragon”, and those are the most dangerous of all the fantasy, make-believe, non-existent, FAKE “wrestlers-who-want-to-be-dragons” out there! Please. PUH-LEASE! How many more FOOLS must exist in this company before the goodness can finally begin to shine through?! Delikado would like to say you’re the last of them, Danny boy, but he won’t kid himself. Delikado’s not a kidder…except when he kids. In this case, Delikado’s not kidding, because like Legion, Mr. White, you bring NOTHING to the table Delikado and his APW of REAL APWers feel the need to admire. After all, you both just HAPPENED to make the jump to Overdrive without even an initial test run?! THIS IS MY BRAND, OVERDRIVE IS MY BRAND!! The fact you two idiots get to revel in the upcoming renaissance it’s to bring out thanks to a Bawse like myself, and my partners waiting in the wing, makes Delikado think you just BOUGHT your way into the chance to face off with wrestling’s top-tier talent! That, in a world, is
BULL.
ONEY!
BALONEY!
Delikado grabs a rotten roll of baloney and does battle with the penguins, whose forces have begun to rout.
Nobody gets a free ride in Delikado’s world! After all, Delikado sure as hell didn’t…AND IT’S HIS FREAKING WORLD! What have you done that’s so great you get to jump ship to the top show? Who do you know that allowed you the pull, bro? Maybe Delikado should merge these questions and ask WHO have you DONE to be welcome with open arms by management to the show of shows, especially this sudden to Rasslemania?! Was it Rebel? Cher-resident Jeff? The possibilities are endless with the evil that’s as rampant in APW as there is now, and you can bet your lady lumps Delikado will get to the bottom of it just as soon as he deals with you, Dragon Man! Until then, though, you can bet your ass Delikado won’t be Abraham or whoever you squashed. Delikado will not be scorched by a Welshman—NOT AGAIN! If you come for Deli, try to rain hellfire on him, I will out-fireball you, son! YOU UNDERSTAND THESE WORDS!? OUT. FIRE. BALL. YOUR ASS!
IT’S MINE!
Delikado does an elbow-drop off a carnival game onto a penguin.
IT’S MINE!!
Now he dropkicks a duo of penguins into the merry-go-round.
IT’S ALL MINE!!!
Delikado takes the Happy Feet penguin and dances on him, pressing him into the mud and utterly embarrassing him!
AND DAMN YOU FOR TRYING TO TOPPLE THE CUBAN REGIME OF ME!
Da Bawse turns his head to the camera dramatically; blood flies across the screen and the penguins begin to scatter.
The APW is to change, and Delikado is the changeling! LIKE A BAWSE SHALL I WIN, AND AT ALL YOUR EXPENSES SHALL IT BE DONE SO! The choice is not in your hands, but in MINE! BOSS DELIKADO DICTATES IT, AND HE REGRETS NOTHING!
Slowly, the rest of the Deli Tee Vee team rushes out, but they stop in surprise as they watch the penguins flee Delikado’s wrath and high-tail it out the front gate from which they came.
The Legion…is the legion of supporters who still stand in shock and awe at what Delikado achieves in the months ahead.
The Dragon…is the beast Delikado topples to secure his place as one of, if not THE, greatest APW stars to ever make up its history.
Know me and be prepared to fear me again, fools. For I am Delikado.
Delikado throws his hair back, admist the blood and sweat, and loks directly into the camera.
Delikado: And I’m back.[/font][/size]
Edit: Because I swear I thought this RP was totally coded when I posted it. I hope it's not a problem with me editing it, my OCD is a bit on the high side today.
You want Delikado to tell you how the next episode of Overdrive is gonna go down? Last one before Rasslemania IX, you gotta be expecting a big ol showdown to play out. Maybe you want Da Bawse to tell you how it’ll all tie-in to the finale at the grandest of APW’s stages? But you know what, Delikado ain’t one for spoilers, and so he’ll keep it simple. Keep it right here in the here now present-o on our last Overdrive before everything comes to a head. Well here it is:
Delikado’s storming the gates of Budweiser Gardens of London…Ontario…Canada…and he’s making it THE show to be proud of and to respect, as he opens the doors and sets off the countdown against one Legion and one Dan White. Now, it ain’t just Delikado’s participation in the match you’ll want to admire, it’ll be opponent #1 and opponent #2 as well—and Delikado’s performance against them will leave you such a fan of Da Bawse, a fan *reborn* actually, since you’re all already great big fans of the D-Man. You will all feel lucky, GRATEFUL to have Delikado amongst you! This is a match about building new foundations, building APW’s future, bitches, about people taking the mantle of where this company’s going, because it ain’t just about the champions leading the pack anymore. Hell-to-the-no on THAT idea. It’s about changing the course of history, with Delikado’s APW guiding each and every one of ya in directions you never thought you’d go.
This episode, Delikado vs. Legion and White, will see Delikado cross the boundary between “Boss” Delikado and “Legend” Delikado.
THIS will be Delikado striking back at long last! And in this case, I strike back with more than JUST a smile, a laugh, and a champagne bottle across your faces! Maybe there’ll be a boot, a fist, possibility even a headbutt! But at the end of the night, above all else, Delikado will strike back at the evils of Overdrive and the evils of Action Packed Wrestling with THE most powerful weapon there is: My UNSTOPPABLE talents! The ability of me to do EVER-Y-THING! Delikado’s ability to know ALL about ALL, and his skillset to defeat the FOOLS who stand before him not just in the ring or in the back, but at the top of the chain of command! This Thursday, you see it ALL! This week, the best episode of Overdrive, is about to give way to the best RUN of APW imaginable! Legion and Dan White make up some of the material, but they are cannon fodder, FILLER to Deli and all his gains! It is something to be proud of, and they should feel that their careers FINALLY have gotten it right when they fall before Da BAWSE, and the momentum skyrockets this great company INTO INFAMY UNDER MEEEEEEEE!! BEST. WRITING. EVER!!!
Some-Kinda-Something-Productions presents
B
-U T O P I A-
S
S
[/color]B
-U T O P I A-
S
S
Episode 36 part 2- "The Greater Greatest Dooming Imaginable"
In my restless dreams, I see that carnival…The Carnival.
The scene slowly fades in to a girl in all white, with long black hair standing on a cliff-side overlooking the carnival in the distance. A mildly thick fog rolls around the girl as she stares dead ahead.
You promised you’d buy me cotton candy from there someday, but you never did. You bought me Pop Rocks instead, even though I hate them. I hate them so much. Well, I’m on my way there now, waiting for you to join me and buy me some freakin’ cotton candy. Douche.
Suddenly, a bell rings and before the lady can react, a bicycle flies by at a break-neck speed, bumping her just enough to send the woman tumbling off the cliff with a scream. The bike is being ridden by none other than Jimmy Gooch, who glances briefly over his shoulder.
Jimmy Gooch: Sorry, ma’am!
Jimmy pants as he straightens out the cargo attached to his bike to keep it from falling. He shakes his head and peddles faster down the trail toward the carnival.
Jimmy: Dang fog, can’t see a thing…
The 16-year-old young man skids his bike around a sharp corner as a squawk is heard and a penguin rushes past him.
Jimmy: Was that a—
Suddenly, Jimmy comes to a stop as he reaches the outer rim of the carnival. The fog has only intensified in its depths as the boy climbs off his bike and slowly approaches the fenced-in carnival. Doing his best to see through the fog, Jimmy narrows his eyes.
Jimmy: Hello? Anybody here?
A few moments pass, almost silently except for a distant squawk like that of the penguin Jimmy nearly hit moments earlier. A heavy iron door is heard groaning open to the side, and out walks Delikado, a cigar in his mouth. The Cuban immediately approaches Jimmy at the fence with a grand arm gesture at both sides.
Boss Delikado: Jimmeh boy!
Jimmy: Heya, Bawse. I hurried here as soon as I could, wasn’t quite expecting to meet up all the way out here to be frank…
After opening a small gate to welcome Jimmy in, Delikado casually blows smoke out of the corner of his mouth; the smoke almost mixes with the fog to the point you’d think Delikado’s cigar created this element of nature. Jimmy grabs ahold of the gear he brought on his bike.
Jimmy: I brought trainin’ supplies, since you said we were gonna be trainin’ and all. Pull-up bar, couple of weights, I reckon you have some stuff of your own we can use. Whattya think?
Jimmy offers the bags of equipment to his supposed mentor, who takes hold of the bags in one hand, eyes them briefly, and then bluntly discards them into a nearby puddle.
Boss Delikado: Delikado thinks they all effing SUCK, Jimmy.
Jimmy: What? But, uh, I thought you said we were gonna train for your match and all that? Not to mention you was gonna teach me a thing or two about the sport, what with you fighting in that triple threat and whatnot.
Delikado dabs cigar ash to the ground and shakes his head toward the dumped bag of training gear. He then focuses on his young apprentice with a calculating eye.
Boss Delikado: Delikado realizes you’re bound to make mistakes early on, thinking that way. That’s why you’re here now to learn from the master. Ya see, Jim-bo, Delikado appreciates the belief and attitude you got going on, implying that with facing two foes like Legion and the “Welsh Dragon” Delikado should train the old-fashioned, classical way with push-ups and sit-ups and planning. But, uh, you gotta understand that ain’t me, and that shouldn’t be you either, or hell ANYONE of the REAL APW brand. Delikado fights his own unique, memorable way, and his preparation comes just as original, no matter who the no-balls up in management put me against.
Jimmy: Then what--
Boss Delikado: Ah, not finished. Now hell, Delikado could go to a gym right now and work until he’s red in the face and drained in the package, he could march into Overdrive with an invigoration unlike any ever seen thanks to that work-out you’re suggesting, and he might right-on win…but it wouldn’t be a ‘Delikado’ win, you see? It’d be a “NOT-Delikado” win, the way everyone else who’s a nobody in the scheme of things wins. Delikado’s got the muscles and the durability and the mind to pull all that off…but he ain’t got the classlessness to sell-out. All Delikado’s got is an unyielding Cuban fire that eats up all the bitches and never surrenders no matter the cost. Impressive? Yes. Best medicine doctor could recommend? For me, yes. But you try to verbally talk it out, try to explain “me” to one of those boner-killers Delikado’s facing in a few days, it’ll just ruffle their feathers and get them yammering off about shit nobody gives a shit to listen to. It’ll work them up a bit, but pronouncing the Delikado effect on fools ain’t got the echo like it used to.
Jimmy: Soooo…what ARE we going to do then…?
Delikado grins through the cigar and pats his young student on the shoulder.
Boss Delikado: Don’tchu worry, Delikado’s always got tools of his trade lying about. We just gotta open up the freshest can of madness that’s landed on our doorstep! THAT is the surest path to great training.
Jimmy cocks an eyebrow of wonder.
Jimmy: “Madness?”
Boss Delikado: My middle name. No, really, it is. Delikado’ll show you his birth certificate later, but first…
Some bushes rustle nearby and Delikado leaps toward them, arcing his leg up for the Last Call to Cuba.
Boss Delikado: LIKE. A. BAWSE!
Delikado connects with the bushes, sending a penguin flying straight into Jimmy’s bike and causing both to tumble over. The Cuban looks to Jimmy, winks, and motions for him to follow him through the gate into the inner part of the carnival. Along the way, the two walk past an active television promoting the next Overdrive.
Commentator: Yes, ladies and gents, the highlight of professional wrestling, Action Packed Wrestling’s “Rasslemania IX” is just around the corner, with one of our last stops being Overdrive, coming to you live from the Budweiser Gardens in London, Ontario, Canada! The APW megastars are sure to be in high-form this Thursday, starting out with a triple threat between APW newcomers Legion and Dan White, aka “The Welsh Dragon”, and that wacky household name, Delikado. Now, I think we’re all familiar with the fact that lately Delikado’s been in a bit of a dry spell as far as success goes. As someone who calls himself “The Boss”, the Cuban Warrior has done little but be bossed around for the past couple weeks like I am by my wife, leading some to suggest this once prominent star’s light may be dwindling. It was right around this time last year at “Rasslemania VIII” that Delikado made his APW debut, with many initially calling him a star with tremendous potential in the company. But as his and my anniversary to that high-school sweet-heart of mine turned cheating harlot who takes all my money in return for nothing rolls in, one has to question whether it’ll be an event of remorse, or if the best is still to come from everybody’s favorite Cuban. Could this triple threat be the opportunity for a victory that Delikado desperately needs if he wants to reach the mountain tops of glory again, or will the new breed of APW megastars do him in and put out the Cuban fire once…and for all? This is Ida No-Nutin from Totally Exciting News ‘n Stuff News, Kaci, you’ve ruined my existence, and we’ll be right back.
Delikado chomps on his cigar, takes a puff, and exhales smoke as he narrows his eyes at the TV while Jimmy silently looks on. The Cuban motions for the young Gooch to follow after him again.
Boss Delikado: All it used to takes was a mention of Delikado’s name to put entire companies on edge. Some people might call these days we’re living the beginning of the end, Jimmy boy……but Delikado ain’t “some people”.
Delikado leaps over a rail and walks toward a large open window overlooking the carnival grounds.
Boss Delikado: Here we be’s.
Delikado flicks the cigar out the window and we follow the cigar’s path…all the way to the ground that is swarming with a massive colony of noisy, active penguins! Jimmy, being the southern boy that he is, wears a face of utmost bewilderment at the sight.
Jimmy: What the heck are THOSE supposed to be?
Boss Delikado: Penguins, Jimmy! Adélie Penguins, if you want to get mathematical of whatever. Now c’mon, let’s you and me train!
Jimmy: Whoa, whoa, hold up a sec. Can’t I have a little, uhhh…context or something first?
Delikado, who was about to leap out the window and seemingly take on the penguins, looks over to his confused apprentice.
Boss Delikado: Penguins have invaded Delikado’s carnival and if he gets rid of them, some douchebag with a moustache is gonna give me back what’s already mine. Now that’s all good in and of itself, but Delikado being the in…CREDIBLE genius he is, he figured he’d use this as an opportunity to train you on how a REAL APW megastar should work AND warm up my blood flow for that triple threat. It’s a win-win…win. Threesome of wins, alright!
Jimmy: But those are animals down there, and you’re wrestling people. There’s kind of a difference, don’tcha think?
Boss Delikado: Ah, what is man but a taller animal like the penguin??
Delikado, clearly missing the point of what Jimmy is trying to say, has begun to tape his fists and tighten his wrestling boots.
Jimmy: Won’t those PETA people come down on you for this? Or heck, APW management??
Delikado pops the cork off a champagne bottle and downs some of it. When he’s done, he gives Jimmy a wide-eyed, crazy look.
Boss Delikado: They wanna stop me? Any of them want a piece of Delikado, they can jump right in that ring too. Delikado’ll fight ‘em all!
He grins dangerously and offers the champagne to Jimmy.
Jimmy: I’m not legal, I ain’t allowed to drink this, Delikado…
Boss Delikado: You’ll be able to do whatever the fudge you want when Delikado’s finished molding you! NOW WATCH ME MAKE IT RAIN!!!
Delikado backflips out the window and lands several feet below on his toes. He stands amongst the hordes of penguins, silently and without a move at first. The Adélie Penguins all turn their focus off destroying the carnival grounds and to the Cuban, squawking threateningly. Jimmy watches from out the window above, a stunned, almost horrified look in his eyes. Delikado’s eyes, on the other hand, burn with determination and a haughty fire as the lead Adélie Penguin (it’s the leader cuz I said so) approaches this new threat and hisses menacingly. Delikado responds by hissing right back!
FIGHT!!
Like tiny black and white velociraptors, the penguins pounce for Delikado, hungry for his flesh, but with a roll of his neck, the Cuban dives right at them with his taped-fist raised and a roar of unleashed aggression and volatile rage.
Delikado here. Narrating his own climactic battle to bring you an interlude, a combination of the here and now, and the days, weeks, months…years…to come:
Delikado clocks two penguins in the jaw with his knuckles, knocking them aside effortlessly.
Legion. Danny. Here’s what happens to you, for you, because of you. Delikado. Wins. And Delikado. Rises. AGAIN! The APW, the REAL APW Delikado has spoken of and pushed for longer and harder than you two have done ANYTHING in your lives, is about to transform. Whatever the cost, whoever has to pay that cost, and whichever means those who have to pay whatever that cost ends up being. This Cuban’s fire is NOT wallowing down, least of all because of one of you. The day’s just getting started. And when it finally, finally, FINALLY concludes, they day will see Da Bawse standing famously, legendarily, with his name in the books of all that is glorious and all that is awesome and all that is the “pro” in “professional wrestling”. Nothing keeps Delikado from wielding everything.
Nothing.
Delikado grabs a penguin and headbutts it. He uses its dazed form like a broom, sweeping away a small gathering of penguins that have crunched together to try and charge him. The penguins back off momentarily, giving Delikado a moment to glance up to young Jimmy, who he seems to salute with a small, smug head nod. However, one penguin uses this opportunity to try and leap at Delikado from behind, only for the Cuban to duck at the last second and bring up a closed fist, knocking some of the penguin’s teeth out…IF IT HAD ANY!
Yeah, it’s been rough sailing lately. Smith, Mania, Terry. But if either of you thinks for a SECOND that “losing” to them somehow makes Delikado the lesser-than in comparison, if that SOMEHOW equals Delikado being “weak” and “easy pickings” for the likes of your starting APW-runs…then you truly don’t know what it means to be a Bawse. It’s pretty much a FACT! set in stone that if you believe that Delikado is a poor quality of athlete because he doesn’t get a “W” on his little tally every week, your asses will be kicked harder than anyone else’s asses have ever been kicked, and you two will be NOTHING but my BITCHES! You’re pretty much destined for a short ride if you think a few glitches in the system means you’ve cracked this code and can run the system as you please. Delikado is willing to put the Dragon in a coma, and he’s capable of shattering every bone in the Legion’s body just to prove that point.
Delikado grips ahold of a caramel syringe-thingy from one of the carnival food-carts and shoots it at the penguins, surprisingly getting a rush of caramel that covers the approaching wild beasts. Those who are hit are stopped in their tracks, and Delikado uses the opportunity to SMACK THOSE PENGUINS IN THEIR FACES! He knees many of them in their guts as well, but a giant wave, reinforcements, have arrived, and Delikado begins to leap back, seeking out new methods to combat the colony.
Legion, let Delikado just be the first to “officially” welcome you to APW…the REAL APW that is…and let him also be the first to bid you farewell from the REAL APW. After all let’s face it, you’re the kind of guy who only joins a company as elaborate as ours because you lost a bet. Actually, that’s how it happened! Your PA-THE-TIC showing in the Survive and Conquer burdened us with your presence and, admittedly, blessed you with an incredible gift. You are not in the business of joining and competing in GOOD wrestling promotions not because you feel they are below you, and that they’re not worth your time. On the contrary, you didn’t join us until now because you’re scared. You’re scared because you SUCK and have ZERO chance of gaining any sort of edge in the face of TRUE competition.
Delikado grabs one stray penguin by its neck and uses it as a shield as a gathering of penguins spits chewed-up food at him. As he goes to throw the penguin, however, its beak drags across the Cuban’s forehead, spilling a minor amount of blood down his face. Nonetheless, Da Bawse sees the blood cloud his vision, and the world seems to turn red.
FACT!
Delikado roars as he delivers a Last Call to Cuba onto one of the commanding penguins, plunging it in the belly and causing it to soar amongst its comrades. He brutally elbows one between the eyes and shatters another’s back over his knee. The combat continues under the narration, which is passionate and flame-filled.
You held out on being part of this company for so long because you bring nothing to the table Delikado feels the need to examine, much less sample. You are the weakest of this triangle match, both in spirit and physical display. You’re the reason wrestling is to cease being an Olympic sport, and why watching paint dry is being made its replacement. Dude, you’re just ugly. Straight up. Fugly even. That’s all there is to “expect” of you: Shit. You’re one of the many, many reasons Delikado hates and generally shows caution around newcomers. Because in time, you will find that that bet you lost netted you debts that you’ll never pay off, and you’ll try to drag the rest of us down with you. And after five-years of, as you have decided to call what you do, “wrestling”, it gets to the point where someone has to set you down and say calmly, to your stress-giving face, on behalf of the greater goodness of this business:
The minor line of blood still dribbling down his face in addition to sweat, sending the rabid Cuban crazier, Delikado pants and points to a giant, human-sized penguin that has hobbled into view.
“Dude. Just give up. Put the shotty in your mouth, put a finger on the trigger, and just give the eff up.”
Delikado runs for the giant Adélie Penguin and engages it Shadow of the Colossus style. He climbs its leg and jabs his mighty fist into its flipper-thingy. When the penguin squawks in pain, it stumbles and allows Delikado to jump on its back.
Legion, Delikado is the one telling you this. And he’s got the shotty—aka my boot--all loaded and cocked and ready to blast a hole right between your teeth, snapping your head back, and putting you out of my APW’s misery. Call it the annulment of this horrific bet you made with Delikado’s peers. Bye-bye. The “legion” of fans you don’t have won’t be missing you.
Delikado reaches the penguin’s upper body. He leaps into the air, and dives downward with his boot, delivering a modified Last Call to Cuba that brings the giant penguin down in defeat. Delikado stands, taking a quick breather…before he t-bags the penguin and jumps for the others, who are in awe of the Cuban’s triumph.
But maybe, just maybe…it’s the Dragon that Delikado should take heed of in this match. After all, he IS a “Welsh Dragon”, and those are the most dangerous of all the fantasy, make-believe, non-existent, FAKE “wrestlers-who-want-to-be-dragons” out there! Please. PUH-LEASE! How many more FOOLS must exist in this company before the goodness can finally begin to shine through?! Delikado would like to say you’re the last of them, Danny boy, but he won’t kid himself. Delikado’s not a kidder…except when he kids. In this case, Delikado’s not kidding, because like Legion, Mr. White, you bring NOTHING to the table Delikado and his APW of REAL APWers feel the need to admire. After all, you both just HAPPENED to make the jump to Overdrive without even an initial test run?! THIS IS MY BRAND, OVERDRIVE IS MY BRAND!! The fact you two idiots get to revel in the upcoming renaissance it’s to bring out thanks to a Bawse like myself, and my partners waiting in the wing, makes Delikado think you just BOUGHT your way into the chance to face off with wrestling’s top-tier talent! That, in a world, is
BULL.
ONEY!
BALONEY!
Delikado grabs a rotten roll of baloney and does battle with the penguins, whose forces have begun to rout.
Nobody gets a free ride in Delikado’s world! After all, Delikado sure as hell didn’t…AND IT’S HIS FREAKING WORLD! What have you done that’s so great you get to jump ship to the top show? Who do you know that allowed you the pull, bro? Maybe Delikado should merge these questions and ask WHO have you DONE to be welcome with open arms by management to the show of shows, especially this sudden to Rasslemania?! Was it Rebel? Cher-resident Jeff? The possibilities are endless with the evil that’s as rampant in APW as there is now, and you can bet your lady lumps Delikado will get to the bottom of it just as soon as he deals with you, Dragon Man! Until then, though, you can bet your ass Delikado won’t be Abraham or whoever you squashed. Delikado will not be scorched by a Welshman—NOT AGAIN! If you come for Deli, try to rain hellfire on him, I will out-fireball you, son! YOU UNDERSTAND THESE WORDS!? OUT. FIRE. BALL. YOUR ASS!
IT’S MINE!
Delikado does an elbow-drop off a carnival game onto a penguin.
IT’S MINE!!
Now he dropkicks a duo of penguins into the merry-go-round.
IT’S ALL MINE!!!
Delikado takes the Happy Feet penguin and dances on him, pressing him into the mud and utterly embarrassing him!
AND DAMN YOU FOR TRYING TO TOPPLE THE CUBAN REGIME OF ME!
Da Bawse turns his head to the camera dramatically; blood flies across the screen and the penguins begin to scatter.
The APW is to change, and Delikado is the changeling! LIKE A BAWSE SHALL I WIN, AND AT ALL YOUR EXPENSES SHALL IT BE DONE SO! The choice is not in your hands, but in MINE! BOSS DELIKADO DICTATES IT, AND HE REGRETS NOTHING!
Slowly, the rest of the Deli Tee Vee team rushes out, but they stop in surprise as they watch the penguins flee Delikado’s wrath and high-tail it out the front gate from which they came.
The Legion…is the legion of supporters who still stand in shock and awe at what Delikado achieves in the months ahead.
The Dragon…is the beast Delikado topples to secure his place as one of, if not THE, greatest APW stars to ever make up its history.
Know me and be prepared to fear me again, fools. For I am Delikado.
Delikado throws his hair back, admist the blood and sweat, and loks directly into the camera.
Delikado: And I’m back.[/font][/size]
Edit: Because I swear I thought this RP was totally coded when I posted it. I hope it's not a problem with me editing it, my OCD is a bit on the high side today.
