Post by "The Welsh Dragon" Dan White on Mar 18, 2013 16:13:57 GMT -4
‘Twas the night before Overdrive before Rasslemania IX and all through the bar, there was a creature quite stirring, a Welsh wrestling star….
6TH MARCH 2013, 20:00PM
Dan White: So I’m in London?
Bar Man: Yes sir.
Dan White: …but I’m in Canada.
Bar Man: You are indeed, sir.
Dan White: So you copied our name?
Bar Man: Tell you what sir, if you think that’s amazing then you’ll be surprised to hear that our London is also in the county of Middlesex.
Dan White: NO WAY
Bar Man: Way.
Okay, it’s not in Middlesex anymore, at least not the English version, but still.
Bar Man: We also have a Peterborough, a Cardiff, and a-
Dan White: Wait, you have Cardiff?
Bar Man: Indeed we do.
Dan White: I come from Cardiff! Well, the real one. The Welsh one. Can I go there?
Bar Man: I suppose you can, but I don’t think you’ll find much there, bud. It’s a tiny little village of about five hundred people.
Dan White: But they named it after my city! I must go there man!
Bar Man: Yeah but don’t you have a wrestling match tomorrow in this city? Wouldn’t want to miss it. I saw your first match last week and you were pretty good.
Dan White: But Caaaaaaarrdiiiiiiffffff!
Bar Man: Dude, you need to stay here and wrestle. Look, the place is like four hours away and that’s not including Toronto traffic. But hey, after Rasslemania you should probably visit there! There’ll not be much to see but if you want to go that bad, it’s worth going, I guess.
Dan White: Is there a bar or pub there?
Bar Man: Who knows. All I know is that you’ve finished your beer and you need another one. So…the same?
Dan White: Too right, my man!
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, ?Our next scene opens up, the camera adding a bit of effect to the screen with a blurred opening, as we see a hotel room. The curtains have half been torn from their rings, and a bed cover is half off the bed. Slowly, the courageous cameraman tiptoes towards the remainder of the bedding and in between the bed and the floor, we see the Welshman, looking utterly paralytic. Breaking the fourth wall just ever so slightly, the cameraman prods Dan with his foot
Dan White: Huhhhhhhh
He prods him again, and Dan manages to break through the crustiness that has developed over his eyes. The piercing light causes him to wince heavily, and he slowly manages to pick himself up to audible groans. He’s half naked, thankfully only the top half, with boxers keeping him from showing us the Welsh family jewels.
Dan White: What time is it?
Cameraman: Dan, it’s 7pm!
Dan White: 7pm? Shit. What was I drinking all night?
Groggily he takes a t-shirt, not realising yet that he’s about to miss his second ever APW match. He manages to get one arm through his t-shirt, before shoving his second arm in the head hole, along with half a head, getting himself stuck. It’s at this unfortunate moment that reality hits him and he pauses, to the great horror that he’s just realised.
Dan White: Shit, 7pm?
Well, about 19:02 now…
Dan White: SHIT.
In a complete panic, Dan manages to rip the top of his shirt as he panics. He tears the whole thing and chucks it to the ground, having another swearing temper fit.
Dan White: FUCK’S SAKE! That fucking bar man! I didn’t even pull last night! Fucking shithead. Shit that t-shirt cost me six hundred quid. Fuck this!
The cameraman is getting a little bit concerned about Dan’s wellbeing, and would rather be in any room in the world apart from this one. I mean, sharing a room with Charles Bronson (the prisoner, not the actor, Amerifolks) would seem preferable at this point. But Dan doesn’t seem to be bothered about him. He’s more bothered about the fact that he’s 31 years old and he’s still acting like he did as a pisshead teenager that can’t handle his own alcohol.
Dan White: Oh for fuck’s sake I’m in the first match as well. Why the hell couldn’t I be a Steve Austin drunk and not a Jeff Hardy drunk? ARGH.
Another t-shirt is thrown on, followed by a hoodie. He quickly rushes to the toilets and notices how bloodshot his eyes are. A quick shot of mouthwash, which he spits out as he’s a hard drunk, not an alcoholic so desperate to get his fix that he hits the alkaline fluid, and he’s quick to grab his jeans and throw them on. He looks around for his shoes in a frenzy, pushing the cameraman out the way who flinches first before even being touched, expecting to be better from wall to wall. Dan quickly ties up with remarkable quality for a man still fuelled with alcohol and turns to the cameraman.
Dan White: You. You got a car or a van?
Cameraman: I do.
Dan White: Howay then man, let’s get to the arena! There’s still time!
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7TH MARCH 2013, 19:47
Dan White: And who are YOU to refuse me entry?
An irate Dan’s words do not fall on kind ears, with the burly, bald-headed security guard blocking the doorway to the back entrance of the arena. And he’s not exactly pleased to be bellowed at by some drunken tosser. Or hungover tosser, whatever.
Security Guard: I know who you are but until you’ve been in this company as long as me, you’re not getting in without a pass.
Dan White: But I have a match tonight!
Security Guard: You do. But as far as I remember, that match was a Triple Threat. They can make do without you. They’ve done it before and they’ll do it again.
Dan White: How man, come on. It’s only my second match! I could do with keeping this job!
Security Guard: If you’re such a big shot that everybody in the world knows, why would you need to hold down a wrestling job, huh? Would figure someone like you would have all the money in the world, the way you run your mouth.
THAT stops Dan in his tracks, opening his mouth but wisely choosing to shut it. He’s a fighter at heart and in any other situation would be willing to scrap for his right to be in the arena, but he’s not exactly in a state to do that and in a moment of absolution, realises that he’s not exactly in a state to fight in a wrestling ring either.
Dan White: Okay, you’re right. I don’t need this job. But I want it, and I’ve screwed up. Is there nothing you can do?
Security Guard: I can get you arena seats. For free as well. But no funny stuff. You’re a part of this company but you’re not a part of the show tonight. After the event? Sure, show your face. I think you might have to. I recommend practicing your grovelling speech.
Dan thinks about things for a moment and realises that this is probably the best thing to do. He eats his humble pie, holds his hands up, and accepts the proposal.
Dan White: Okay, okay, I’ll do it. And you have my word that I won’t get involved in the event. I’m sorry I acted like a tosser.
A broad smirk appears on the security guard’s face.
Security Guard: I’m glad we could come to an arrangement. Head to the front door, I’ll make sure somebody is there to meet you.
Dan makes his way to the front door to watch the event, which reluctantly is going to have to be from the stands. No fancy stuff either, just good old-fashioned watching a sports event. And that wraps up a pretty drab 1400 words or so but it explains a lot about why the Pride of Wales failed to make it to his event.
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Camera opens back up and the show has started. It’s a good crowd although not 100% full to capacity, and this allows Dan to claim a small corner of the arena that nobody is sitting in. He has about four rows each side of him to himself, and of course his cameraman, as he watches the event he should have been at if it wasn’t for his drinking exploits. And he decides to take these precious moments to have his thoughts recorded. I mean, what better way to become acquainted with your colleagues than watching the show they’re in? He turns to the camera, just as Evan Envi makes his opening speech.
Dan White: So who’s this guy when he’s at home? Evan Envi, eh? There he is, running his mouth like he’s some kind of hotshot. And who’s Mark Mania? He’s a champion? Damn, I bet I’m sounding like my old man’s old man. I don’t know who anyone is! Deffo should have done more research before I joined this place. And here’s a video package. I like this stuff.
So we watch on about the video package and Dan looks on thoughtfully, although it’s a surprise he can process an analytical process in that head of his, with it being turned to mush. The segment is over, and Dan makes his comments.
Dan White: That Envi looks a bit of a shit stirrer like, although his style is good. The crowd don’t like him but at least he’s not doing the rubbish “I love London, Ontario!” shtick. Looks like a bitch though. Manipulative. Good stuff. Playing the mind games, dragging Mania into his mess. But the Overdrive Title? I could win that. Give me a shot at that bad boy and I’ll take these kids to school! And who’s this muppet now?
Flash forward to the next scene, because I’m not going to fill in the gaps all night, you might as well just watch Overdrive for that. Anyways, it’s Kurt Noble and Chris Hart talking out their problems and the stipulation to their match at Rasslemania.
Dan White: Ahh, what’s it with former tag team partners fighting it out at the company’s biggest even in a Three Stages of Hell match? Been there, done that. And I even did it against my brother, who should be flying to APW shortly if he decides to get off his fat arse. Anyways, a loser leaves town match as well? Bit of a cliché but I dig. The trick here is to look at gossip columns and see which one has signed up for Strictly Come Dancing or one of those Big Brother style shows. My money’s on Chris Hart going. Definitely got more star power than this idiot.
The announcement is then made for the opening match, including some pretty humiliating commentary:
Harvey: We're back and it's time for our first match of the evening! It was originally scheduled as a three way match between Dan White, Legion and Delikado, but we've been informed that Dan White isn't in the building!
Chase: Did somebody check the pub?
Harvey: Let's get to the ring!
And the camera pans to Dan. Well, Dan’s cameraman points to Dan, and he shifts his eyes left to right, hoping that nobody has noticed him. He then looks to the cameraman, expressing him to inch a little closer, while keeping as quiet as possible at the same time.
Dan White: Yeahhhh…I’m not really going to draw attention to myself here. It’s bad enough that everything’s happened today, I don’t want to make it worse by everyone being all “hey look there he is! I wonder why he isn’t in the ring! Is he going to attack someone?” and getting in my hangover space. If I just keep focused then I’ll be able to watch a match I should have been in and get some ideas about these two.
He watches as the match goes on, and witnesses the part where Deli drinks a crowd member’s beer then spits it over Legion, to boos from the crowd.
Dan White: Howay man, you’d never see me spit on a man. That’s the lowest thing you can do to someone! I’ve seen some terrible things in my life. Hell, I’ve done some terrible things in my life, but I’ll never spit on someone. Not to their face, not while they’re down. One time we were down on the coast at Newport, and there was a well-known feud between two lesser hooligan firms. Well one lad spat on the mother of one of the lads in a rival gang. He was later found on railway wires. That’s what spitting means to people back at home. I’d never intentionally spit on someone. Yeah, done it accidentally. I once sneezed on an old woman outside St James’ Park in Newcastle but that was an accident! But you don’t spit on someone, that stuff’s nasty. No need for that!
He continues watching the match, as both men get a near fall, before Delikado is able to smash Legion with a Double Arm DDT, and win the match with the resulting pin. Eyebrows raised, Dan comments.
Dan White: Well, that was certainly something. Is that really how Deli won the match? I could have won this easily! Why the hell did I have to go out drinking? What a nob I am…
Dan continues watching for a few more moments, but with tiredness catching up to him, he slowly but surely descends into a quick snooze…
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22:01PM
The show is over, and the Road to Rasslemania is almost over. The crowd are still hot over the 60 Minute Ironman announcement for the main event, and slowly make their way to the exits. They’re pumped up for the event in just over a week’s time, and anticipate a fantastic event. The card has been finalised, at least on the Overdrive side, and all there is now is to sort out the formalities on the Asylum and Meltdown sides.
The camera panned back in and we witness our hero slumped backwards, arms stretched over a couple of seats either side of him. A familiar face makes his way towards the Welshman, the guard from earlier prodding him in the stomach, waking him up.
Dan White: Huh? What?
Security Guard: Wakey wakey, sunshine! One of the company directors would like to see you in the back before we dismantle the set.
That doesn’t sound very promising and the gulp from Dan can almost be audible. He rolls his eyes and lifts himself up, before making his way towards the back. The camera follows him as he trundles along, the security guard in the foreground leading the Welsh Dragon to his fate. They end up at a door, and the security guard stands to one side, allowing Dan to make his way in.
Security Guard: It’s not Jeff, he couldn’t make it. But this guy is a big deal. Consider this your appraisal!
Dan snarls at the broadened smiled security guard and makes his way in. A typical suit it is not, but a guy with silver hair, a leather bomber jacket and jeans, sitting behind a crude makeshift desk. Dan’s not sure what to make of the situation, and waits to be spoken to.
Director: Hi there, Dan! Please please, take a seat.
Dan sits down, unsure what fate lies in this poxy little office.
Director: Now Dan, I’m sure you know why you’re here.
Dan White: Nope, not really to be honest with you. I’ve got no idea.
The director frowns a little, before offering an explanation.
Director: Okay…well, allow me to explain, shall I? Basically here in APW, we like to have a roster we can trust in. We value working with other companies and sharing employees, but we like to have names and faces our fans and investors can trust in. You know?
Dan White: No, not really.
The director lets that one slide, but with the look that warns Dan not to make any more snide remarks.
Director: We signed you on recommendation from a talent agent and also because your agent came to us asking for a job. We’ve given you one, a three month contract as you asked, with a view to continue it further if you impressed us during this time. Now, it’s fair to say within a fortnight you have already got a big mark against your name. I mean really Dan, no-showing on your second booking? That’s not good for business. You’re a pretty big name and you can be much bigger if you want to be, we’ve seen the evidence, you don’t need to tell us that. We know you’ve drawn in the past and that you’ve got the potential to do it again. But you need us to trust you and a no show on your second booking isn’t good at all. After all, we have a talent pool big enough to make our own star if you don’t work out. The ball’s in your court.
Blazoned eyed, Dan nods his head in agreement, although it seems slightly contrived. The director has finished speaking, so Dan decides to make a point of his own.
Dan White: That’s fine, that’s fair. But you didn’t exactly hold to your side of the bargain yet, did you? One thing I asked is if my entourage was to come on tour with you guys as well. I didn’t ask for those guys to be signed up as well, but the provision that travel and expenses would be paid for. I was told I’m a big enough commodity for this to happen, so until that does, I think I am within my rights to not be a hundred per cent faithful to my side of the contract. You guys haven’t, so this is my response.
Director: Well Dan, the reason we haven’t brought your “Entourage” to the company is because we don’t think they’re a good influence. We have had a look at your records and your friends, while having muted success in wrestling in other areas, have not been good for your career.
Dan White: Bullshit. Those guys were around me when I won the World Title and we drank every night leading up to that and twice as hard when I became champion.
Director: But that’s the thing, Dan. This isn’t the late 90s anymore. You can’t just do the whole “I do what I want” thing because the world does not work like that anymore, and this industry damn sure doesn’t work like that anymore. You want to be a loose cannon? Sure. Just do it in your own time, not ours. We don’t have time for trouble makers, especially ones that drink on their own instead of coming to a crucially important television booking.
Dan White: So give me what I want. I want the lads here. That was in your damn contract! You talk to me about trouble making? That’s technically braking the law, boyo! So get me my friends or I’ll continue doing what I want and if you don’t, then I’ll see that as breach of contract and leave with three months full pay. And you know I can do that, mate!
Director: And you’ll be left without a job. Again. And Dan, I’m pretty sure when you signed up to APW you said the money wasn’t important, but it was about settling a score inside your head, am I right? So you’re either a sellout, or you don’t intend to go through with that.
Dan remains silent, however his face clearly reads a big massive “FUUUU-UUUU-UUUUCK, YOOOOOUUUUUUUU” that he could have been caught out. The director smirks and folds his arms.
Director: Cat caught your tongue, Dan? Well, don’t worry because we have a proposal for you.
Dan White: Listening.
Director: You are not going to feature on the Rasslemania card. Fact is, you were signed a little too late and the opportunity has not come up. There have been so many matches built up that there simply was not any space to stick you on the main card, and that is disregarding what happened tonight. I’m sorry but that’s purely a business decision.
Dan White: That’s fair.
Director: But, we’re going to offer you a match on the pre-match build up. A dark match, if you will. Except it will be on television, obviously. You’ll be facing Legion and Delikado.
Those names sound familiar.
Dan White: You mean the two that I was supposed to be fighting tonight?
Director: The very same!
Dan White: Okay, I think I can do that. Probably for the best, really. Meant I could scout them tonight so really, you’ve done me a massive favour! Cheers!
There aren’t any smiles or handshakes from the director, who gives Dan a bit of a glare, before rounding up the conversation.
Director: If you don’t turn up, you’ll be out. I don’t really care about your three month demand because I know you’ll want to turn up, you’re not that much of a burden. Why did we make it another Triple Threat? If you don’t turn up, you get turfed out and we still have a singles match on our hands. Don’t think you control us Dan because you really, really don’t. And please, please do not try the whole “anti authority” shtick, because it is tiresome. It’s old, inane and makes you look like a fool. There are easier ways to get yourself seen, Dan. I’ll see you in Toronto, and don’t make a mistake of not making it, please.
With that, Dan gets up off his feet and leaves the office. He nods in approval to the director before making his exit, and smirks at the security guard, his true opponent for the evening, and then proceeds towards the car park. It appears that this might be the end of the night for Dan…
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SOMEWHERE IN LONDON, ONTARIO, 22:30PM, MARCH 7TH 2O13
The cameraman is driving the car back to the hotel, ready to drop Dan off for one last night in this city before they make their way to Toronto in time for Rasslemania. However, Dan has other plans, as he manages to get up out his seat, and he glances at London’s dizzy night life.
Dan White: Oh, cameraman, you’ve been alright tonight. Cheers for having my back.
Cameraman: Just doing my job. We often get told to look after the new starters.
Dan White: Well you know something? I’ve got over two weeks until Rasslemania. Like absolute hell am I staying in here. I’m going back to Cardiff for a fortnight!
Cameraman: Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, what if you’re unable to get back in time for your match?
Dan looks at the cameraman like he’s an idiot. He really isn’t one, but he just does not think like the Welshman.
Dan White: And be stuck in Canada for two weeks with none of my mates and nowt to do? Nah man, I’m going back home. And I don’t care what that dickhead director wants to say or bitch about, I’m bringing my mates back and sticking it on the expenses card I have.
Cameraman: You’ve got an expenses card? Already?
Dan White: Yeah man. Why, you don’t?
Cameraman: No! And I’ve been here over-tell you what. Forget it, it doesn’t matter anyways. I’m always behind the camera, never in front of it.
Dan takes a moment to think about things, and it literally takes him a moment, before coming out with his own unique way of “charity”.
Dan White: What’s your name, boyo?
Cameraman: Zach. Why?
Dan White: Cos I’m going home tomorrow, and I’m not going home without a celebration. You’re the only person I know in this town and yeah that was only by default, but we’re going out tonight. Let’s smack this town up harder than heroin, mate!
The cameraman isn’t keen at first, and looks apprehensive as he pulls away from a green light. Yeah, not really putting much description into the driving stuff, am I? Who cares.
Cameraman: Is that such a good idea? I mean I don’t think you’re supposed to use a company expenses card to fund a night out.
Dan White: Well then they shouldn’t have given me one because I must have spent about twenty Canadian dollars since I got here. Now howay, we’ll go to the hotel, get ready and go out. I’ll show you how a true Welshman drinks!
And with that, the scene fades out. This time for good. You think a cameraman is going to take his camera to the night out? Well, unless he was a hipster, and he was going to visually record everything like hipsters do in a restaurant. Anyways, the moral of this story is that Dan hasn’t learnt his lesson and probably never will, but also that he’s got a match at Rasslemania! Yay! Kind of. And let’s hope I’m actually allowed to do a second roleplay otherwise I’ve said chuff all about the actual match but only how it came to be! Yay! Kind of….
Fade to black.
