Post by "The Welsh Dragon" Dan White on Mar 23, 2013 17:15:01 GMT -4
Well well, we’re not even at a bar tonight. That’s quite a turn up for the books. In fact, we appear to be in the backstage of an arena. Lord knows why we’d be here, unless Our Hero planned to take notes on the arena before his match at Rasslemania IX. He might not be on the Pay per View but he’s opening the show and that’s a pretty mean ask. A lot can define a man in those first few moments, particularly in a match that is absolutely vital for his career in APW. White appears in black jeans, a t-shirt and a black shirt unbuttoned over the top. He’s not interested in location, or any actions, but simply speaking his mind before his fight.
Dan White: It’s been a long time since that ill-fated Overdrive. 7th of March 2013, I believe it was. Over two weeks ago now, really. And tomorrow, I face what is essentially my final trial in APW. My big warning shot. It’s now, or never. However to be frank all I need to do is turn up and I’ll be okay. I don’t need to win, I don’t need to overcome any odds. I just need to turn up in a normal state of mind and I’ll be okay. All I have to do is not disgrace myself, and I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. Easier said than done, right?
So the APW fanbase have warmed to me in some aspects but then you go on the interweb and see all the things people want to say. I mean, these are the same sad comb-overed freaks that exchange autographs on the internet and have the uncanny ability to all have the same grim smell as each other. But they’re there, picking out the flaws in my life and my career. That’s fine. If you’re in the spotlight, you’re going to get that quite a lot and I can take that. I can hack being dissected and people who have never met or spoke to me saying that I should have done this there and I shouldn’t be doing that then. However these mouth-breathers, the types that adore wrestling but refuse to allow anything positive whatsoever to enhance their experience of somehow “enjoying” the sport, have really made a statement about what they think about me and so it’s not Legion, or Delikado, or the bigwigs in APW that I’m targeting today. It’s them.
I said in my first week here that if a week is a long time in politics, then it’s an age in wrestling and I stick by that. However I have realised that sometimes you can directly point the finger at certain members of the crowd for that. I’m not talking about the guys that are first in line to buy a ticket because they’re looking forward to seeing some of their favourite wrestling, or even simply to be part of the show they watch every week, be it live every time with their mates and a couple of beers or watching it after school the next day because the show was past their bed time. I’m not saying they should cheer the good guys and boo the bad guys, but they like who they like and they stick with that. I’m talking about the small sections of fans who for little reason will target and victimise people because of the way they live their life, or whatever.
Now in wrestling, it seems to be a popular thing to be “straight edge”. An utterly bullshit term for dickheads who want nothing more than to be part of a cult. A sheep, pretty much. And cults aren’t good for anyone. It masquerades as proving how individual you are when really, you’re just following the rest of the crowd. Leads me quite nicely to the guys who do my theme tune, the Sex Pistols. Johnny Rotten has gone out on saying that punk was a complete farce, that ninety nine per cent of it was kids dressing up because their favourite bands were dressing like that, and those bands were dressing like that because the Sex Pistols were dressing like that. All while at the same time everyone was screaming “fuck the system and fuck the status quo, we’ll all do what we want and when we want to do it”. Admittedly it worked but ironically it only worked as a group effort, not by people thinking on their own. And yeah, punk did lead to the absolutely ace New Wave period, but we’re not here to talk about music.
It’s part of the reason I gave up the football hooliganism stuff. Okay, there were a lot of reasons like I’d rather not have my head kicked in every time I step into certain cities, but there was also the growing concern to me that people were identifying themselves as a hooligan. Even if they weren’t fighting that day, it was always something that they would be prepared to do and they always wore the gear. The tennis and golfing clothes. And as a result we bred the “classy chav” look that you see on any British high street now, with the Ralph Lauren shirts and the Rockport shoes. A bit classier than your Scouser shellsuits but still something that the people before me bred, and they did it for the worse. Football hooliganism is now a bit of a joke charged on vendettas and grudges, as opposed to what it used to be about. Having a harmless scrap in some brown wasteland or on some docks or whatever. People didn’t die unless there was an exceptional case but now you’ll see that all the time. So and so attacked such and such so such and such jumps him in a pub and fires bullets into his head. Nah, that ain’t what it was about.
But these “wrestling fans” if they can even call themselves are in danger of seriously ruining wrestling for themselves. I’ve seen the comments they’ve said about myself, that I was a mistake by APW and that they should have looked at my track record before signing me up. They shouldn’t have bothered, apparently. Aye, I made a bit of a daft mistake and I shouldn’t have no-showed but at least I had the gall to show up, apologise and strike a deal. These fans, the neckbearded benefits scroungers that still live in their mother’s basements wouldn’t have known that, would they? They’re the biggest hypocrites as well. I’m not one to believe in my own hype and I was of course, weary of what people can say but you go from seeing on messageboards or people coming up to me in the street and saying how much they’ve missed me as a wrestler and how I should get back into it, and then BAM! All of a sudden I’m public enemy number one. No doubt to get a few boos from the crowd for having the audacity to come back to wrestling. I mean what a horrible crime that is. The fact is, I’m here. This is Toronto, look around if you care to do so! I’m here, I’m wrestling, I might win and I might lose but I’m here anyways. So love it or suck it. I don’t really have time for you guys anymore. If I like drinking, then that’s my own deal. Do not get involved in business that isn’t yours.
With that little issue out of the way, I believe that I ought to speak about my opponents at Rasslemania. Well I know it’s not on the show as such, but in my match anyways. I’m fighting a man called Delikado and a man called Legion. Well before I do the usual character assassination that everyone likes to do, I’d like to go back to the match you two had just over two weeks ago and analyse that a little. After all, it’s what my job used to be, I’m pretty ace at doing that so I suppose we’ll go and do that! Makes enough sense, doesn’t it? Anyways, I watched your match up in the rafters and yeah, a pretty generic curtain-opener. Delikado, I can see why after all this time in APW you’ve not even managed to get on the main card at Rasslemania. You’ve been here what, almost a year and you’re opening the night against two guys that just joined the company. For all your hype and talent you’ve not really endeared yourself to anyone, have you? You just seem to be a lot of hot air, the type of man who’s only known because he shouts a lot. But what’s that, you won that Battle Royale the other night didn’t you? Well we’ll come onto that.
I mentioned this the other day but Delikado spat on Mr. Legion and to me, that’s just not cricket. It’s not even drinking a three litre bottle of crap cider that cost two quid in a field when you’re fourteen years old. I mean seriously, spitting on an opponent? I suppose that’s what you get though when you come from a backwater shithole like Cuba. I mean seriously, it’s Third World mate. Why would you be proud to say you’re from a place like that? Get real. I may have grown up in some pretty horrible areas of Cardiff but at least it was in Cardiff. It least it was Wales, and the United Kingdom. You struggled as well, Delikado. A few pin attempts that you had to get out of. Hit your finisher and won the match, pretty standard. Nothing really to entertain me but it was worth the scouting mission anyways. Legion seemed okay but for all the waste of flesh and organs it seems Delikado, you are the one to watch out for tomorrow night.
I’ve noticed that neither of you are particularly heavy. In the announcements I heard that Legion, you’re 225 lbs and Delikado, you’re just 169 lbs. I might be quite a big guy now but I remember when I was small, lean. I was just over 200 pounds and I used to fly. Top rope moves were my speciality, and there was a reason why I used to be nicknamed the Daredevil. I’ve gone off the tops of ladders, Hell in a Cells, hell I believe I even went off the top of a stage once. I’ve been there and done that, however I also did something that I doubt either of you have bothered to do in your career. I realised that I had to evolve. I got bigger, stronger, put on an extra forty pounds and now I’m the man that you see. The reason for that? Well, I suppose my diet over the years could have been an excuse but I wanted to be bigger to become the wrestler I needed to be for the time! Yes, don’t be surprised to see if I still attempt my Corkscrew Moonsault – which by the way I can still do in a VERY impressive way – but I had to adapt! And look at me now! I went through the motions and I went through the weights. I was at that 220-240 pound stage where you develop technically because your body is a bit bigger. Then I went above 250 and added serious power to my moveset and to my wrestling style. I’m not sure I can go further from here but I’ve done it anyways! Legion, you’ve got the technical style DOWN and Delikado, you might be the fastest bitch in the West but I’ve been there, mastered that, and I’m now a better wrestler technically than either of you can ever hope to be! And when I’m spanked your sorry arses around Toronto you’re really going to see what a Welsh Dragon can do!
So now let’s do the whole character assassination thing, huh? Yeah, that sounds fun! Legion, I’m going to start with you. I don’t know too much about you except that you’ve had a losing start to life here, at least on Overdrive. Lost to Delikado two weeks ago, and didn’t really turn up before that either, getting eliminated in the Survive and Conquer signature match. You’ve done it all in other promotions, you say. That’s all fine and well boyo but believe me when I say I’ve done the exact same thing and that it does NOT give you the right to come into a place such as APW with an ego and the expectation that things are either a) going to be handed to you on a plate or b) going to get you very far because please believe these words that I’m about to say: reality is going to bite you in the arse so damn hard you’re going to regret ever signing a contract here. You call yourself “The Man of Many” but I’m struggling to see how. Yeah, you have that whole goth-type thing going with Marilyn Manson theme music and the black facepaint, but doesn’t that just reflect what I said earlier about cults? I’m not quite sure who you’re trying to impress or scare but I don’t really think it’s working out, mate.
Also when you did your little bit of smack talk the other night, it made me quite curious. It made me smirk as well, to be honest. The fact that all you could say about me as a person was that I’m a piece of “Welsh trash”. Is that seriously it? Cut the slack, listen to people like me, and learn how to fucking insult person. Shows the sheer ignorance of yourself as well since I can tell you a billion and one insults that you could have given to me because of my nationality. In fact, have a few freebies seeing as I’m feeling generous tonight. We’re sheep shaggers, all we eat is coal, we’re apparently “pugnacious little trolls” if you’re a devotee of A. A. Gill. Insipid little man but that’s just me. We’re also stupid, rude, loquacious, liars and racist. And on that subject, hell, I’m a black guy! You could have at least touched on that in some way! I grew up in a bad area and I’m black, surely that’s ten minutes of golden material already! I don’t mind, I can take the stick, I’m used to it. I grew up as a black kid in 1980s South Wales, how the hell do you think I’d have coped otherwise? But now isn’t the time to make accusations or to be bitter about anything. I’m here to win a match and to also let you know how you’re such a flawed individual that after tomorrow, I highly recommend going to see a shrink or something.
You also touched on the fact that you’ve never heard neither my name nor Delikado’s in your apparent worldwide extravaganza tour of the wrestling kingdom. That’s incredibly rich considering I’ve never heard of you and I’m willing to bet Mr. Delikado has never heard of you either. So stop with the daft talk, please. You aren’t a hero, you aren’t someone who’s going to sell out Pay per Views. Since you made those comments of heralding Times of Legion, you lost to Delikado and here you are, trying to give it lip again? I don’t think that’s going to work, mate. You’ve been suspiciously silent ever since that defeat and haven’t mentioned a peep in the build up towards Rasslemania. It’s tomorrow, mate. Are you sure you’re even coming? Not going to “do a Dan White” and no-show leaving us to fight in a Triple Threat, are we? Because that would be mightily ironic, wouldn’t it? Becoming a sheep despite going down the whole “I’m my own person” type of character, despite doing the whole Goth thing that’s become a recognised sub-culture in itself. Let go, it’s over. You have more missing pieces than a jigsaw bought in a car boot sale.
Aaaaand that brings me onto Mr. Delikado. I cannot deny that a man that is so proud of his homeland is always a man to give respect to, however I can’t abide by the sheer fact that you seem so hell-bent on chucking your nation’s name onto everything imaginable, when I’m willing to be you yourself hasn’t bothered to trek back to that place for a fair few years. I mean look, a man like you, who has become so successful and a one-man show, wouldn’t be seen as kindly as the men who run your country. Fidel and his brother. There’s a reason boxing champions in Cuba aren’t allowed to become superstars beyond a product of the state, a stark reminder of who the “real” maker in success is. You call yourself the Cuban Missile Crisis but I’m willing to bet you’re not treated like the national hero you wish you could be, are you, Mr. Delikado? I mean granted in my own nation yes, I can’t go to Neath or Port Talbot without the threat of being shanked but at least I’m wanted there, and at least those people haven’t been so corrupted that they cannot appreciate when success comes from their lands. I became the first EVER Welsh World Heavyweight champion and the reactions I got from my homeland was incredible. Where were the homeward bound reactions after you won the Battle Royale?
Which brings me nicely to something I’ve wanted to talk about. Delikado, congratulations on winning the Meltdown Battle Royale and I truly mean that. It was an impressive feat and you’ve managed to bag yourself an Undisputed title shot. That’s impressive. I mean what’s less impressive are the winnits you had to get through to make it that far. Yeah, you won, nice one, but you didn’t exactly set the world alight, did you? You said it yourself that when you had to face proper opposition in AC Smith, Mark Mania and Terry Marvin, you failed to make the grade, Delikado. It didn’t exactly make you the “bawse” that you like to call yourself, did it? For all your wins and accolades you’ve pretty much became an example of a typically middle of the road competitor. You’ve thrown your voice around a bit, made a bit of a name for yourself but when it comes to matches, when it comes to results, you’ve hit a glass ceiling that you’ve proven unable to break through. I didn’t take part in the Battle Royale but I’m feeling pretty damn annoyed that I didn’t, knowing now of the quality I’d have had to get through. But congratulations on that, and I really hope you aren’t massively embarrassed. Terry Marvin has humbled you before and I’m pretty sure he’ll be able to humiliate you again.
You talk about me being a dragon. How original. I guess I’ve brought that on myself, seeing as I do have one of the more generic nicknames a Welshman could give himself. But that’s our defining feature. The Welsh Dragon. So let me indulge you in a history lesson, because you cared enough to speak about my nickname. Back in pre-history, the White Dragon representing England and the Red Dragon representing Wales had a fight. The White Dragon won, causing the cries of the Red Dragon to cause miscarriages, drain rivers and kill the harvests across the land. Two brothers managed to lock up both the dragons in Dinas Emrys, a secure location within Wales, so their fighting would never interrupt the tests of time again. However, there is a twist to this story.
Fast forward to the Fifth Century, and Vortigern, King of the lands, attempted to build a castle at Dinas Emrys. However every morning he’d return to find the work left the night before demolished. His advisors told him to find a boy with no natural father, a bastard such as yourself, and sacrifice him to the Gods. Vortigern found a boy, perhaps the boy who is to become Merlin himself, and is supposedly the wisest Wizard of all. Vortigern condemned the boy to his death, believing it would end the demolition of the walls, however the boy informs the king of the two dragons. Vortigern releases the dragons, and the Red Dragon finally overcomes his White counterpart. The boy informs Vortigern that the White Dragon symbolised the English and the Red Dragon symbolised the people of the king, and that those people of Vortigern would no longer become the British and become the Welsh. So the Welsh Dragon symbolises the moment the Welsh people were born. Were created. And it holds a lot more history than any symbol of your poxy little country, I can promise you that.
The Welsh Dragon also symbolised protection and guidance. The dragon predicted the reign of King Arthur, and was used as a symbol for the Lancastrian Tudor army in the War of the Roses. The Welsh Dragon is a protector of man, and a guardian of souls. He is righteous and knowing, and he symbolises the start of a fresh dawn. And Delikado, after running your mouth like you have been doing, that’s something you have to be very careful about. I’m here, technically still undefeated, and I’m interested in starting something new. Okay, I’m doing it by opening a new chapter in an old career but it is still the start of something fresh. You and Legion are the next two characters that stand in my way but please trust me when I say that I’m going to make an absolute promise to prove to you two, and APW, and those dickhead fans that like to talk arse about me, that THIS IS REAL. THIS IS HAPPENING. The Welsh Dragon Dan White is in APW and he is doing this. It’s reality. It’s happening. And THAT is something to worry about.
Addiction, Delikado. Addiction is a terrible, terrible thing. It consumes people, turns them into dark shells of the lives they used to live. And it appears that you have an addiction to, of all things, Doritos, and that’s fucking tragic. Of all the disgraceful things I’ve heard, you’ve got an addiction to crisps. But I’ve noticed something else, and it’s a lot darker than that. You also seem to have some kind of addiction to being noticed, to making people hear your voice. You claim that you owe a win against me and that’s fine. That’s okay. But the sheer senselessness in your words makes me suggest that you’d do ANYTHING to grab my attention, and I’m nervous to know what your limit might be. Well Delikado, you do have my attention, but do not think for a damn second that I owe you anything. I’ve been there and done that, and I don’t owe a single thing to anybody. I just hope that for your own sake you’re addicted to the Flaming Hot Doritos cos anything else is rancid.
Rasslemania IX, then. Three men that should have fought a couple of weeks ago but didn’t because one decided not to turn up. It’s going to be tasty. Delikado claims it’s an insult to not even be on the card, but that comes from a man who’s yet to prove his worth in this company. And let’s face it, neither have I. But I’ve got experience on my side, and I have the ability to go that little bit further. I am made of more, Delikado and Legion, and you will see that tomorrow night. And that, my friends, is a right……………touch….
And with that monologue, Dan gets up and leaves the area, but not before glaring intently into the camera. He’s got one day to go and where does he go after this? Well, it all depends on the result, I suppose. A win against the next Number One Contender for the Undisputed Championship must be appetising to say the least, but he still has to go through the motions. And then what? Well for the next Pay per View I suppose it’s just getting on the actual card. That’s the next step. We will see, plenty can happen between now and then.
Fade to Black.
Dan White: It’s been a long time since that ill-fated Overdrive. 7th of March 2013, I believe it was. Over two weeks ago now, really. And tomorrow, I face what is essentially my final trial in APW. My big warning shot. It’s now, or never. However to be frank all I need to do is turn up and I’ll be okay. I don’t need to win, I don’t need to overcome any odds. I just need to turn up in a normal state of mind and I’ll be okay. All I have to do is not disgrace myself, and I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. Easier said than done, right?
So the APW fanbase have warmed to me in some aspects but then you go on the interweb and see all the things people want to say. I mean, these are the same sad comb-overed freaks that exchange autographs on the internet and have the uncanny ability to all have the same grim smell as each other. But they’re there, picking out the flaws in my life and my career. That’s fine. If you’re in the spotlight, you’re going to get that quite a lot and I can take that. I can hack being dissected and people who have never met or spoke to me saying that I should have done this there and I shouldn’t be doing that then. However these mouth-breathers, the types that adore wrestling but refuse to allow anything positive whatsoever to enhance their experience of somehow “enjoying” the sport, have really made a statement about what they think about me and so it’s not Legion, or Delikado, or the bigwigs in APW that I’m targeting today. It’s them.
I said in my first week here that if a week is a long time in politics, then it’s an age in wrestling and I stick by that. However I have realised that sometimes you can directly point the finger at certain members of the crowd for that. I’m not talking about the guys that are first in line to buy a ticket because they’re looking forward to seeing some of their favourite wrestling, or even simply to be part of the show they watch every week, be it live every time with their mates and a couple of beers or watching it after school the next day because the show was past their bed time. I’m not saying they should cheer the good guys and boo the bad guys, but they like who they like and they stick with that. I’m talking about the small sections of fans who for little reason will target and victimise people because of the way they live their life, or whatever.
Now in wrestling, it seems to be a popular thing to be “straight edge”. An utterly bullshit term for dickheads who want nothing more than to be part of a cult. A sheep, pretty much. And cults aren’t good for anyone. It masquerades as proving how individual you are when really, you’re just following the rest of the crowd. Leads me quite nicely to the guys who do my theme tune, the Sex Pistols. Johnny Rotten has gone out on saying that punk was a complete farce, that ninety nine per cent of it was kids dressing up because their favourite bands were dressing like that, and those bands were dressing like that because the Sex Pistols were dressing like that. All while at the same time everyone was screaming “fuck the system and fuck the status quo, we’ll all do what we want and when we want to do it”. Admittedly it worked but ironically it only worked as a group effort, not by people thinking on their own. And yeah, punk did lead to the absolutely ace New Wave period, but we’re not here to talk about music.
It’s part of the reason I gave up the football hooliganism stuff. Okay, there were a lot of reasons like I’d rather not have my head kicked in every time I step into certain cities, but there was also the growing concern to me that people were identifying themselves as a hooligan. Even if they weren’t fighting that day, it was always something that they would be prepared to do and they always wore the gear. The tennis and golfing clothes. And as a result we bred the “classy chav” look that you see on any British high street now, with the Ralph Lauren shirts and the Rockport shoes. A bit classier than your Scouser shellsuits but still something that the people before me bred, and they did it for the worse. Football hooliganism is now a bit of a joke charged on vendettas and grudges, as opposed to what it used to be about. Having a harmless scrap in some brown wasteland or on some docks or whatever. People didn’t die unless there was an exceptional case but now you’ll see that all the time. So and so attacked such and such so such and such jumps him in a pub and fires bullets into his head. Nah, that ain’t what it was about.
But these “wrestling fans” if they can even call themselves are in danger of seriously ruining wrestling for themselves. I’ve seen the comments they’ve said about myself, that I was a mistake by APW and that they should have looked at my track record before signing me up. They shouldn’t have bothered, apparently. Aye, I made a bit of a daft mistake and I shouldn’t have no-showed but at least I had the gall to show up, apologise and strike a deal. These fans, the neckbearded benefits scroungers that still live in their mother’s basements wouldn’t have known that, would they? They’re the biggest hypocrites as well. I’m not one to believe in my own hype and I was of course, weary of what people can say but you go from seeing on messageboards or people coming up to me in the street and saying how much they’ve missed me as a wrestler and how I should get back into it, and then BAM! All of a sudden I’m public enemy number one. No doubt to get a few boos from the crowd for having the audacity to come back to wrestling. I mean what a horrible crime that is. The fact is, I’m here. This is Toronto, look around if you care to do so! I’m here, I’m wrestling, I might win and I might lose but I’m here anyways. So love it or suck it. I don’t really have time for you guys anymore. If I like drinking, then that’s my own deal. Do not get involved in business that isn’t yours.
With that little issue out of the way, I believe that I ought to speak about my opponents at Rasslemania. Well I know it’s not on the show as such, but in my match anyways. I’m fighting a man called Delikado and a man called Legion. Well before I do the usual character assassination that everyone likes to do, I’d like to go back to the match you two had just over two weeks ago and analyse that a little. After all, it’s what my job used to be, I’m pretty ace at doing that so I suppose we’ll go and do that! Makes enough sense, doesn’t it? Anyways, I watched your match up in the rafters and yeah, a pretty generic curtain-opener. Delikado, I can see why after all this time in APW you’ve not even managed to get on the main card at Rasslemania. You’ve been here what, almost a year and you’re opening the night against two guys that just joined the company. For all your hype and talent you’ve not really endeared yourself to anyone, have you? You just seem to be a lot of hot air, the type of man who’s only known because he shouts a lot. But what’s that, you won that Battle Royale the other night didn’t you? Well we’ll come onto that.
I mentioned this the other day but Delikado spat on Mr. Legion and to me, that’s just not cricket. It’s not even drinking a three litre bottle of crap cider that cost two quid in a field when you’re fourteen years old. I mean seriously, spitting on an opponent? I suppose that’s what you get though when you come from a backwater shithole like Cuba. I mean seriously, it’s Third World mate. Why would you be proud to say you’re from a place like that? Get real. I may have grown up in some pretty horrible areas of Cardiff but at least it was in Cardiff. It least it was Wales, and the United Kingdom. You struggled as well, Delikado. A few pin attempts that you had to get out of. Hit your finisher and won the match, pretty standard. Nothing really to entertain me but it was worth the scouting mission anyways. Legion seemed okay but for all the waste of flesh and organs it seems Delikado, you are the one to watch out for tomorrow night.
I’ve noticed that neither of you are particularly heavy. In the announcements I heard that Legion, you’re 225 lbs and Delikado, you’re just 169 lbs. I might be quite a big guy now but I remember when I was small, lean. I was just over 200 pounds and I used to fly. Top rope moves were my speciality, and there was a reason why I used to be nicknamed the Daredevil. I’ve gone off the tops of ladders, Hell in a Cells, hell I believe I even went off the top of a stage once. I’ve been there and done that, however I also did something that I doubt either of you have bothered to do in your career. I realised that I had to evolve. I got bigger, stronger, put on an extra forty pounds and now I’m the man that you see. The reason for that? Well, I suppose my diet over the years could have been an excuse but I wanted to be bigger to become the wrestler I needed to be for the time! Yes, don’t be surprised to see if I still attempt my Corkscrew Moonsault – which by the way I can still do in a VERY impressive way – but I had to adapt! And look at me now! I went through the motions and I went through the weights. I was at that 220-240 pound stage where you develop technically because your body is a bit bigger. Then I went above 250 and added serious power to my moveset and to my wrestling style. I’m not sure I can go further from here but I’ve done it anyways! Legion, you’ve got the technical style DOWN and Delikado, you might be the fastest bitch in the West but I’ve been there, mastered that, and I’m now a better wrestler technically than either of you can ever hope to be! And when I’m spanked your sorry arses around Toronto you’re really going to see what a Welsh Dragon can do!
So now let’s do the whole character assassination thing, huh? Yeah, that sounds fun! Legion, I’m going to start with you. I don’t know too much about you except that you’ve had a losing start to life here, at least on Overdrive. Lost to Delikado two weeks ago, and didn’t really turn up before that either, getting eliminated in the Survive and Conquer signature match. You’ve done it all in other promotions, you say. That’s all fine and well boyo but believe me when I say I’ve done the exact same thing and that it does NOT give you the right to come into a place such as APW with an ego and the expectation that things are either a) going to be handed to you on a plate or b) going to get you very far because please believe these words that I’m about to say: reality is going to bite you in the arse so damn hard you’re going to regret ever signing a contract here. You call yourself “The Man of Many” but I’m struggling to see how. Yeah, you have that whole goth-type thing going with Marilyn Manson theme music and the black facepaint, but doesn’t that just reflect what I said earlier about cults? I’m not quite sure who you’re trying to impress or scare but I don’t really think it’s working out, mate.
Also when you did your little bit of smack talk the other night, it made me quite curious. It made me smirk as well, to be honest. The fact that all you could say about me as a person was that I’m a piece of “Welsh trash”. Is that seriously it? Cut the slack, listen to people like me, and learn how to fucking insult person. Shows the sheer ignorance of yourself as well since I can tell you a billion and one insults that you could have given to me because of my nationality. In fact, have a few freebies seeing as I’m feeling generous tonight. We’re sheep shaggers, all we eat is coal, we’re apparently “pugnacious little trolls” if you’re a devotee of A. A. Gill. Insipid little man but that’s just me. We’re also stupid, rude, loquacious, liars and racist. And on that subject, hell, I’m a black guy! You could have at least touched on that in some way! I grew up in a bad area and I’m black, surely that’s ten minutes of golden material already! I don’t mind, I can take the stick, I’m used to it. I grew up as a black kid in 1980s South Wales, how the hell do you think I’d have coped otherwise? But now isn’t the time to make accusations or to be bitter about anything. I’m here to win a match and to also let you know how you’re such a flawed individual that after tomorrow, I highly recommend going to see a shrink or something.
You also touched on the fact that you’ve never heard neither my name nor Delikado’s in your apparent worldwide extravaganza tour of the wrestling kingdom. That’s incredibly rich considering I’ve never heard of you and I’m willing to bet Mr. Delikado has never heard of you either. So stop with the daft talk, please. You aren’t a hero, you aren’t someone who’s going to sell out Pay per Views. Since you made those comments of heralding Times of Legion, you lost to Delikado and here you are, trying to give it lip again? I don’t think that’s going to work, mate. You’ve been suspiciously silent ever since that defeat and haven’t mentioned a peep in the build up towards Rasslemania. It’s tomorrow, mate. Are you sure you’re even coming? Not going to “do a Dan White” and no-show leaving us to fight in a Triple Threat, are we? Because that would be mightily ironic, wouldn’t it? Becoming a sheep despite going down the whole “I’m my own person” type of character, despite doing the whole Goth thing that’s become a recognised sub-culture in itself. Let go, it’s over. You have more missing pieces than a jigsaw bought in a car boot sale.
Aaaaand that brings me onto Mr. Delikado. I cannot deny that a man that is so proud of his homeland is always a man to give respect to, however I can’t abide by the sheer fact that you seem so hell-bent on chucking your nation’s name onto everything imaginable, when I’m willing to be you yourself hasn’t bothered to trek back to that place for a fair few years. I mean look, a man like you, who has become so successful and a one-man show, wouldn’t be seen as kindly as the men who run your country. Fidel and his brother. There’s a reason boxing champions in Cuba aren’t allowed to become superstars beyond a product of the state, a stark reminder of who the “real” maker in success is. You call yourself the Cuban Missile Crisis but I’m willing to bet you’re not treated like the national hero you wish you could be, are you, Mr. Delikado? I mean granted in my own nation yes, I can’t go to Neath or Port Talbot without the threat of being shanked but at least I’m wanted there, and at least those people haven’t been so corrupted that they cannot appreciate when success comes from their lands. I became the first EVER Welsh World Heavyweight champion and the reactions I got from my homeland was incredible. Where were the homeward bound reactions after you won the Battle Royale?
Which brings me nicely to something I’ve wanted to talk about. Delikado, congratulations on winning the Meltdown Battle Royale and I truly mean that. It was an impressive feat and you’ve managed to bag yourself an Undisputed title shot. That’s impressive. I mean what’s less impressive are the winnits you had to get through to make it that far. Yeah, you won, nice one, but you didn’t exactly set the world alight, did you? You said it yourself that when you had to face proper opposition in AC Smith, Mark Mania and Terry Marvin, you failed to make the grade, Delikado. It didn’t exactly make you the “bawse” that you like to call yourself, did it? For all your wins and accolades you’ve pretty much became an example of a typically middle of the road competitor. You’ve thrown your voice around a bit, made a bit of a name for yourself but when it comes to matches, when it comes to results, you’ve hit a glass ceiling that you’ve proven unable to break through. I didn’t take part in the Battle Royale but I’m feeling pretty damn annoyed that I didn’t, knowing now of the quality I’d have had to get through. But congratulations on that, and I really hope you aren’t massively embarrassed. Terry Marvin has humbled you before and I’m pretty sure he’ll be able to humiliate you again.
You talk about me being a dragon. How original. I guess I’ve brought that on myself, seeing as I do have one of the more generic nicknames a Welshman could give himself. But that’s our defining feature. The Welsh Dragon. So let me indulge you in a history lesson, because you cared enough to speak about my nickname. Back in pre-history, the White Dragon representing England and the Red Dragon representing Wales had a fight. The White Dragon won, causing the cries of the Red Dragon to cause miscarriages, drain rivers and kill the harvests across the land. Two brothers managed to lock up both the dragons in Dinas Emrys, a secure location within Wales, so their fighting would never interrupt the tests of time again. However, there is a twist to this story.
Fast forward to the Fifth Century, and Vortigern, King of the lands, attempted to build a castle at Dinas Emrys. However every morning he’d return to find the work left the night before demolished. His advisors told him to find a boy with no natural father, a bastard such as yourself, and sacrifice him to the Gods. Vortigern found a boy, perhaps the boy who is to become Merlin himself, and is supposedly the wisest Wizard of all. Vortigern condemned the boy to his death, believing it would end the demolition of the walls, however the boy informs the king of the two dragons. Vortigern releases the dragons, and the Red Dragon finally overcomes his White counterpart. The boy informs Vortigern that the White Dragon symbolised the English and the Red Dragon symbolised the people of the king, and that those people of Vortigern would no longer become the British and become the Welsh. So the Welsh Dragon symbolises the moment the Welsh people were born. Were created. And it holds a lot more history than any symbol of your poxy little country, I can promise you that.
The Welsh Dragon also symbolised protection and guidance. The dragon predicted the reign of King Arthur, and was used as a symbol for the Lancastrian Tudor army in the War of the Roses. The Welsh Dragon is a protector of man, and a guardian of souls. He is righteous and knowing, and he symbolises the start of a fresh dawn. And Delikado, after running your mouth like you have been doing, that’s something you have to be very careful about. I’m here, technically still undefeated, and I’m interested in starting something new. Okay, I’m doing it by opening a new chapter in an old career but it is still the start of something fresh. You and Legion are the next two characters that stand in my way but please trust me when I say that I’m going to make an absolute promise to prove to you two, and APW, and those dickhead fans that like to talk arse about me, that THIS IS REAL. THIS IS HAPPENING. The Welsh Dragon Dan White is in APW and he is doing this. It’s reality. It’s happening. And THAT is something to worry about.
Addiction, Delikado. Addiction is a terrible, terrible thing. It consumes people, turns them into dark shells of the lives they used to live. And it appears that you have an addiction to, of all things, Doritos, and that’s fucking tragic. Of all the disgraceful things I’ve heard, you’ve got an addiction to crisps. But I’ve noticed something else, and it’s a lot darker than that. You also seem to have some kind of addiction to being noticed, to making people hear your voice. You claim that you owe a win against me and that’s fine. That’s okay. But the sheer senselessness in your words makes me suggest that you’d do ANYTHING to grab my attention, and I’m nervous to know what your limit might be. Well Delikado, you do have my attention, but do not think for a damn second that I owe you anything. I’ve been there and done that, and I don’t owe a single thing to anybody. I just hope that for your own sake you’re addicted to the Flaming Hot Doritos cos anything else is rancid.
Rasslemania IX, then. Three men that should have fought a couple of weeks ago but didn’t because one decided not to turn up. It’s going to be tasty. Delikado claims it’s an insult to not even be on the card, but that comes from a man who’s yet to prove his worth in this company. And let’s face it, neither have I. But I’ve got experience on my side, and I have the ability to go that little bit further. I am made of more, Delikado and Legion, and you will see that tomorrow night. And that, my friends, is a right……………touch….
And with that monologue, Dan gets up and leaves the area, but not before glaring intently into the camera. He’s got one day to go and where does he go after this? Well, it all depends on the result, I suppose. A win against the next Number One Contender for the Undisputed Championship must be appetising to say the least, but he still has to go through the motions. And then what? Well for the next Pay per View I suppose it’s just getting on the actual card. That’s the next step. We will see, plenty can happen between now and then.
Fade to Black.
