Post by Chaos Stryke on Apr 6, 2013 2:10:29 GMT -4
Blog entry for Tuesday, April 2, 2013…
It feels like it’s been a really long nine days…
I’m either sitting at home or I’m at the school, doing my job… you know, the one I’m generally appreciated at by those around me, and I just can’t seems to shake the feeling about where I am now. Nine days ago was Rasslemania. I walked in as one half of the Tag Team champions, put on a decent performance that night before the home crowd. I can only say it was decent because the end result left a lot to be desired. Aubrey and I fell short… but not through any real fault of our own. No one can look back at that match and say that we were truly beaten for the titles there. As it turns out, we lost the titles because of a team that had no business being involved in that match who ended up losing as I expected.
Needless to say, that was a very bitter pill to have to try and swallow. Standing there before the crowd and having to watch the Dying Breed being handed our Tag titles after they performed an end run around us by pinning Christian Kane. I’m sure Bailey and Hopkins are revelling in their ‘victory’ as well. We already know the kind of man Bailey is after all. He’ll take a victory any way he can get it, deserved or not. Hopkins is just counting his blessing that I didn’t end his career on the big stage… and I did have a chance to do so.
Yesterday at Meltdown, Aubrey and I decided to plead our case to the Meltdown GM…
Seems like a no-brainer after all. M&M weren’t beaten for the title so we should have a return match coming up. Why not right? Dying Breed got their rematch and they didn’t even have to do anything. And I mean anything. They didn’t team up together after Aubrey and I beat them in January, let alone have to win a number one contender’s match. For Aubrey and I though… there’s never a shortage of hoops for us to have to jump through to even be considered for a title match.
Back when NobleHart were the champions back in October, M&M were an undefeated team, yet when a number one contender’s match was announced on Meltdown, we weren’t booked in the match. We were overlooked. We had to fight our way through the tag team tournament to get our first title match. I heard that after that match, Speede and Deruty were slated to get the first crack at the titles. What about us? Oh yeah, being overlooked again. That was corrected though we got our shot… over course first we had to beat Kane and Evans first, surprise, surprise. Now, we have another good case for a rematch, we’re only asking for the same courtesy that the Dying Breed were extended after they were beaten cleanly for the championships. I pinned Hopkins in the middle of the ring for the titles. They got the first available title match. Aubrey and I weren’t beaten at Rasslemania. Neither of us was pinned. Neither of us submitted. We didn’t lose directly. Shouldn’t we at least get the same opportunity as the Dying Breed? Apparently not. Instead we get told come back later. And I’m sure at that point we’ll have to win a couple of matches to ‘earn’ our shot while other teams just get their opportunities handed to them.
It straight up pisses me off.
I’ve had nothing to do but think about this situation for the last couple of days. I can’t help but wonder what the point of this situation is. It’s like I go out and bust my backside week in and week out. I put in lots of hard work to get ahead and put up solid performances over the course of months. But at the end of it, I get no recognition or consideration for any of it.
“Sure Logan, you’ve won match after match after match for a couple of months, but you lost this one match here, so it’s been decided that you’ll get nothing for all your work and success. That one loss is reason enough to tear you down where others would keep getting opportunities. Come back later and maybe, just maybe we’ll consider giving you another opportunity.”
What’s the value of hard work in this industry nowadays? Maybe that’s not the issue at all. Maybe it’s just more a matter that the management problems that have been following me around since the end of October are still refusing to resolve themselves regardless of how much I toe the line laid out by those in charge. “Nice guys finish last.” I think I’ve been living that saying for too long a time. Something has got to give, because I’m getting sick of all this second class treatment while others are constantly being given a boost to get ahead.
Anyway, I’ll get back in touch with you all as soon as I can… likely tomorrow.
Logan Alexander
Blog entry for Wednesday, April 3, 2013…
I probably should have gotten around to speaking about my upcoming match some time ago… But like I said, I’ve been occupied with other things as of late. I’ve taken the time to review match footage, and taken some time to get in the ring and plan out new tricks for use in my matches, and also just getting some time on my own to have a chance to gain a little perspective on things that have happened as of late. I’m still mad about Rasslemania. That simply isn’t going to pass. I’m just going to have to do what I’ve always had to do in the past. If I’m not going to be offered the same opportunities as other for whatever reason, then I’m just going to push myself to do better and find ways to outclass all the people that have been placed ahead of me. What else am I going to do? I’m probably not even on the short list of contenders for any Asylum championship, so all I have let to aim for is showing up the other competitors here. And of course I’m going to have to get started this week in a rematch of sorts.
From overseas in Uruguay, one half of M&M takes on one half of the Dying Breed. I get a one on one shot against Jair Hopkins. This might be an opportunity to gain a measure of retribution for the former champions against the current champions. Hopkins and I have been crossing paths a fair bit recently. A month ago, we had to partner up to take on the fifth and sixth wheels from our recent tag team title match and we walked out with a victory. After that, he decided to go after my partner and we had a one sided altercation backstage. I left him a crumpled heap. I hadn’t realized that I’d inflicted as much damage as I apparently did. I felt bad about that when I found out how bad it was. I had planned to not let that weigh on my mind when Rasslemania rolled around and I had to get back into the ring against him.
As expected, Hopkins went after my partner again even though she wasn’t in the match at the time. I took exception and I hit him with a spear, the same move I’d injured him with. But, as a testament to my skill and my restraint, I made sure not to hit him in the ribs with that one. I didn’t target his obvious injury. If I had, Hopkins would have been carted out of Rasslemania on a stretcher… but I held back. In hindsight, that was the mistake that cost us the match. If I’d taken him out there, Bailey never would have had the chance to pin Christian Kane for the victory, because I’d have pinned him just before that as Hopkins wouldn’t have been there to break it up. But because I did the ‘right thing’ earlier in the match, we lost the titles. Then after losing the titles, we’re denied a rematch.
Damn it…
So what does this leave me with? I’m stuck picking up the pieces, trying to make them fit, and making sure that no one else comes along and shatters it again. I should be looking ahead… instead, I’m wondering where I am. This is not the way it was supposed to be. To put things simply, I’m somewhere on the bottom and I’m going to have to start climbing over people again. This week, my goal is to beat Hopkins. That’s where it begins. It doesn’t undo what has happened… but getting a chance to beat on one of the two people that took our titles is some sort of small comfort. I guess…
I don’t know… I’m probably going to need another night to think this over…
Until tomorrow.
Logan Alexander
Blog entry for Thursday, April 4, 2013…
This all sounds like it was some sort of pointless drama being hashed out by a teenager when I look back over all I’d written. Here I am lamenting my failure at doing my damn job. For what? Sympathy? What’s the point? People don’t sympathize with me a majority of the time. I’m looked at as the bad guy for taking a hard line and holing to it. I should have come into this looking at the upcoming match rather than staring back at the previous one I’d just gone though. I should be focused just on Jair Hopkins and nothing else. I made my mistake two weeks ago and it’s done. This week, my job is to avoid making the same or any other mistakes and that is going to boil down to one simple point…
This week, my goal is to leave Jair Hopkins a broken pile in the ring. My job is to do what I apparently didn’t have the stomach to do two weeks ago, and that is to abuse any soft spot Hopkins might still be carrying around on him or, should he be back at one hundred percent, create a new soft spot and work on it until something in him gives. Beating him down isn’t enough… I tried that at Rasslemania, but like me he stubbornly gets back up time and time again, so I’m just going to have to keep on him I’m going to have to take him to his breaking point this week because I’m not going to resort to half measures.
I’ve spent months fighting with this… trying to find the right balance. Something that would help me to get things done, help me move ahead, help me to create something meaningful. But walking the fine line that it entails is quickly becoming not worth the effort. The results are not there at the end of the day. All I have left to blame is my own hesitance and reluctance to do what needed to be done. You can only go so far when you hold back… I feel like I’ve been holding back and I don’t know why. Why should I after all? Anything negative that I might have wanted to avoid, has already come to pass. I’ve only been left with regrets for not doing all in my power at the time.
When the consequences will be felt regardless of what you do, what is the purpose of not going all out? All it has done is help feed into the doubt and uncertainty. I question myself and my abilities. Despite winning nine of every ten matches, I can’t move past that one loss. I want to stop doing that. I want to stop feeling that. I have to start this week and see what happens. It’s my first match of the new wrestling year in APW and I sorely want to abandon my nagging doubts and start with a clear head. The chance for redemption isn’t coming for months so I’ve got to find a new direction… but I need to have all cylinders firing for that.
Hopkins is my test subject to see if I can get those cylinders working in concert with the others… to be sure that the shortcoming was in fact just a case of holding back and not one of inability to do so at all.
Maybe that’s what is really at stake for me this week. Hopkins is a guy that has struggled to get above the bottom rung on his own for a long time and now I have to prove that I can hold my own again him before I can even be considered for anything more important… like a singles title opportunity since the tag straps are effectively beyond my grasp.
Well, if I do have to prove something to everyone else, I’d better get right on it. It’s my first singles match in two months and I have to make it count for something here. It’s my first solo impression on Asylum and if I intend on being something other than just another guy here, I’ve got to run through Hopkins this week and emerge on the other side of this encounter as a clear victor. I’ve lost all advantage over him heading into this one. I was stopped short of retaining my championship by a broken man who should have been a non-factor.
He could walk into this match full of confidence from his victory, having won another big one over me… But I’m going to do everything to beat that confidence right out of him again, just like I’ve had to before. This time I must do everything in my power to accomplish my goal and secure victory. It’s not just about saying that I’m willing to do what it takes. I did that when I spoke to Aubrey before our last match. Neither of us realized it at the time, but I lied to her face there. I let her down and now I’ve got to try and avoid lying to myself and letting myself down this week.
I have to pull it together this week… otherwise what am I going to be fighting for down the road?
Hopefully I’ll have an answer for all of you by the time all is said and done this week. I hope you’ll be watching and that you’ll enjoy what you see.
Until next time…
Logan Alexander
It feels like it’s been a really long nine days…
I’m either sitting at home or I’m at the school, doing my job… you know, the one I’m generally appreciated at by those around me, and I just can’t seems to shake the feeling about where I am now. Nine days ago was Rasslemania. I walked in as one half of the Tag Team champions, put on a decent performance that night before the home crowd. I can only say it was decent because the end result left a lot to be desired. Aubrey and I fell short… but not through any real fault of our own. No one can look back at that match and say that we were truly beaten for the titles there. As it turns out, we lost the titles because of a team that had no business being involved in that match who ended up losing as I expected.
Needless to say, that was a very bitter pill to have to try and swallow. Standing there before the crowd and having to watch the Dying Breed being handed our Tag titles after they performed an end run around us by pinning Christian Kane. I’m sure Bailey and Hopkins are revelling in their ‘victory’ as well. We already know the kind of man Bailey is after all. He’ll take a victory any way he can get it, deserved or not. Hopkins is just counting his blessing that I didn’t end his career on the big stage… and I did have a chance to do so.
Yesterday at Meltdown, Aubrey and I decided to plead our case to the Meltdown GM…
Seems like a no-brainer after all. M&M weren’t beaten for the title so we should have a return match coming up. Why not right? Dying Breed got their rematch and they didn’t even have to do anything. And I mean anything. They didn’t team up together after Aubrey and I beat them in January, let alone have to win a number one contender’s match. For Aubrey and I though… there’s never a shortage of hoops for us to have to jump through to even be considered for a title match.
Back when NobleHart were the champions back in October, M&M were an undefeated team, yet when a number one contender’s match was announced on Meltdown, we weren’t booked in the match. We were overlooked. We had to fight our way through the tag team tournament to get our first title match. I heard that after that match, Speede and Deruty were slated to get the first crack at the titles. What about us? Oh yeah, being overlooked again. That was corrected though we got our shot… over course first we had to beat Kane and Evans first, surprise, surprise. Now, we have another good case for a rematch, we’re only asking for the same courtesy that the Dying Breed were extended after they were beaten cleanly for the championships. I pinned Hopkins in the middle of the ring for the titles. They got the first available title match. Aubrey and I weren’t beaten at Rasslemania. Neither of us was pinned. Neither of us submitted. We didn’t lose directly. Shouldn’t we at least get the same opportunity as the Dying Breed? Apparently not. Instead we get told come back later. And I’m sure at that point we’ll have to win a couple of matches to ‘earn’ our shot while other teams just get their opportunities handed to them.
It straight up pisses me off.
I’ve had nothing to do but think about this situation for the last couple of days. I can’t help but wonder what the point of this situation is. It’s like I go out and bust my backside week in and week out. I put in lots of hard work to get ahead and put up solid performances over the course of months. But at the end of it, I get no recognition or consideration for any of it.
“Sure Logan, you’ve won match after match after match for a couple of months, but you lost this one match here, so it’s been decided that you’ll get nothing for all your work and success. That one loss is reason enough to tear you down where others would keep getting opportunities. Come back later and maybe, just maybe we’ll consider giving you another opportunity.”
What’s the value of hard work in this industry nowadays? Maybe that’s not the issue at all. Maybe it’s just more a matter that the management problems that have been following me around since the end of October are still refusing to resolve themselves regardless of how much I toe the line laid out by those in charge. “Nice guys finish last.” I think I’ve been living that saying for too long a time. Something has got to give, because I’m getting sick of all this second class treatment while others are constantly being given a boost to get ahead.
Anyway, I’ll get back in touch with you all as soon as I can… likely tomorrow.
Logan Alexander
Blog entry for Wednesday, April 3, 2013…
I probably should have gotten around to speaking about my upcoming match some time ago… But like I said, I’ve been occupied with other things as of late. I’ve taken the time to review match footage, and taken some time to get in the ring and plan out new tricks for use in my matches, and also just getting some time on my own to have a chance to gain a little perspective on things that have happened as of late. I’m still mad about Rasslemania. That simply isn’t going to pass. I’m just going to have to do what I’ve always had to do in the past. If I’m not going to be offered the same opportunities as other for whatever reason, then I’m just going to push myself to do better and find ways to outclass all the people that have been placed ahead of me. What else am I going to do? I’m probably not even on the short list of contenders for any Asylum championship, so all I have let to aim for is showing up the other competitors here. And of course I’m going to have to get started this week in a rematch of sorts.
From overseas in Uruguay, one half of M&M takes on one half of the Dying Breed. I get a one on one shot against Jair Hopkins. This might be an opportunity to gain a measure of retribution for the former champions against the current champions. Hopkins and I have been crossing paths a fair bit recently. A month ago, we had to partner up to take on the fifth and sixth wheels from our recent tag team title match and we walked out with a victory. After that, he decided to go after my partner and we had a one sided altercation backstage. I left him a crumpled heap. I hadn’t realized that I’d inflicted as much damage as I apparently did. I felt bad about that when I found out how bad it was. I had planned to not let that weigh on my mind when Rasslemania rolled around and I had to get back into the ring against him.
As expected, Hopkins went after my partner again even though she wasn’t in the match at the time. I took exception and I hit him with a spear, the same move I’d injured him with. But, as a testament to my skill and my restraint, I made sure not to hit him in the ribs with that one. I didn’t target his obvious injury. If I had, Hopkins would have been carted out of Rasslemania on a stretcher… but I held back. In hindsight, that was the mistake that cost us the match. If I’d taken him out there, Bailey never would have had the chance to pin Christian Kane for the victory, because I’d have pinned him just before that as Hopkins wouldn’t have been there to break it up. But because I did the ‘right thing’ earlier in the match, we lost the titles. Then after losing the titles, we’re denied a rematch.
Damn it…
So what does this leave me with? I’m stuck picking up the pieces, trying to make them fit, and making sure that no one else comes along and shatters it again. I should be looking ahead… instead, I’m wondering where I am. This is not the way it was supposed to be. To put things simply, I’m somewhere on the bottom and I’m going to have to start climbing over people again. This week, my goal is to beat Hopkins. That’s where it begins. It doesn’t undo what has happened… but getting a chance to beat on one of the two people that took our titles is some sort of small comfort. I guess…
I don’t know… I’m probably going to need another night to think this over…
Until tomorrow.
Logan Alexander
Blog entry for Thursday, April 4, 2013…
This all sounds like it was some sort of pointless drama being hashed out by a teenager when I look back over all I’d written. Here I am lamenting my failure at doing my damn job. For what? Sympathy? What’s the point? People don’t sympathize with me a majority of the time. I’m looked at as the bad guy for taking a hard line and holing to it. I should have come into this looking at the upcoming match rather than staring back at the previous one I’d just gone though. I should be focused just on Jair Hopkins and nothing else. I made my mistake two weeks ago and it’s done. This week, my job is to avoid making the same or any other mistakes and that is going to boil down to one simple point…
This week, my goal is to leave Jair Hopkins a broken pile in the ring. My job is to do what I apparently didn’t have the stomach to do two weeks ago, and that is to abuse any soft spot Hopkins might still be carrying around on him or, should he be back at one hundred percent, create a new soft spot and work on it until something in him gives. Beating him down isn’t enough… I tried that at Rasslemania, but like me he stubbornly gets back up time and time again, so I’m just going to have to keep on him I’m going to have to take him to his breaking point this week because I’m not going to resort to half measures.
I’ve spent months fighting with this… trying to find the right balance. Something that would help me to get things done, help me move ahead, help me to create something meaningful. But walking the fine line that it entails is quickly becoming not worth the effort. The results are not there at the end of the day. All I have left to blame is my own hesitance and reluctance to do what needed to be done. You can only go so far when you hold back… I feel like I’ve been holding back and I don’t know why. Why should I after all? Anything negative that I might have wanted to avoid, has already come to pass. I’ve only been left with regrets for not doing all in my power at the time.
When the consequences will be felt regardless of what you do, what is the purpose of not going all out? All it has done is help feed into the doubt and uncertainty. I question myself and my abilities. Despite winning nine of every ten matches, I can’t move past that one loss. I want to stop doing that. I want to stop feeling that. I have to start this week and see what happens. It’s my first match of the new wrestling year in APW and I sorely want to abandon my nagging doubts and start with a clear head. The chance for redemption isn’t coming for months so I’ve got to find a new direction… but I need to have all cylinders firing for that.
Hopkins is my test subject to see if I can get those cylinders working in concert with the others… to be sure that the shortcoming was in fact just a case of holding back and not one of inability to do so at all.
Maybe that’s what is really at stake for me this week. Hopkins is a guy that has struggled to get above the bottom rung on his own for a long time and now I have to prove that I can hold my own again him before I can even be considered for anything more important… like a singles title opportunity since the tag straps are effectively beyond my grasp.
Well, if I do have to prove something to everyone else, I’d better get right on it. It’s my first singles match in two months and I have to make it count for something here. It’s my first solo impression on Asylum and if I intend on being something other than just another guy here, I’ve got to run through Hopkins this week and emerge on the other side of this encounter as a clear victor. I’ve lost all advantage over him heading into this one. I was stopped short of retaining my championship by a broken man who should have been a non-factor.
He could walk into this match full of confidence from his victory, having won another big one over me… But I’m going to do everything to beat that confidence right out of him again, just like I’ve had to before. This time I must do everything in my power to accomplish my goal and secure victory. It’s not just about saying that I’m willing to do what it takes. I did that when I spoke to Aubrey before our last match. Neither of us realized it at the time, but I lied to her face there. I let her down and now I’ve got to try and avoid lying to myself and letting myself down this week.
I have to pull it together this week… otherwise what am I going to be fighting for down the road?
Hopefully I’ll have an answer for all of you by the time all is said and done this week. I hope you’ll be watching and that you’ll enjoy what you see.
Until next time…
Logan Alexander
